The Green Clarinet - That Mitchell and Webb Look

A sketch by Mitchell and Webb about a green clarinet that maks you tell embarrising secrets but watch out for the red tuba. That Mitchell and Webb Look coming soon to BBC 2
DISCLAIMER: ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO THE BBC. I DID NOT PRODUCE THIS VIDEO.

[@Lionkingview]

I have a yellow acoustic guitar that makes me look like a douche when I play it at parties.

[@caderidley2309]

The colour has nothing to do with looking like a douche while playing an acoustic guitar at a party

[@Itsyrm8]

Just keep practicing and keep the faith😁

[@cleanbeans4280]

@@caderidley2309 /:thatsthejoke.jpg

[@xXxJSCOTTxXx]

@@cleanbeans4280 i can't see the picture can you re-upload it

[@TheSchemer1]

@@caderidley2309 he might be alluding to Simon Coopers'car

[@brain_apostrophe_t]

You know the person who invented the gun lived like this for at least a while.

[@innescoull7061]

Can you blame them hahah

[@tbotalpha8133]

"I have a grey gun, that when you point it at someone-" "What's a gun?" "-And pull the trigger, it makes them drop dead!"

[@ethericboy]

No he did"nt

[@penitent2401]

the first guns were not that great vs bows and crossbows of the time. Single shot with manual loading of powder and metal ball as a bullet, both of very low quality and imprecisely made compared to modern day, takes long time to load, wildly inaccurate. even after some decades of improvements and refinements, it needs to be fired in volleys at point blank range to have chance of hitting anything. their main advantage was the soldiers can very easily be trained to use and maintain them.

[@jeanpaulsinatra]

"I think you'll be crowning me king now" "Such impertinence. Sir William, seize him" *shoots Sir William dead, despite the latter's full plate armour, and looks pretty fucking smug until he sees every other knight drawing their swords before he can reload*

[@tsarfox3462]

The Red Tuba part almost made me shit my pants in laughter.

[@Pooknottin]

That's because it's not magical. It just plays the brown note.

[@BenjaminGoose]

You mean the sound that makes you do a shiiiit?@@Pooknottin

[@Pooknottin]

@@BenjaminGoose Yep. That's the brown note.

[@hotelmario510]

It works!

[@hippy282]

The Green Clarinet is obviously an artefact of Vectron from the First Age

[@Kris.G]

It's all in the ancient scrolls

[@eliamor1782]

we must get sir digby chicken caesar to retrieve it for her majesty!

[@hippy282]

@@eliamor1782 I love that sketch! They'd probably pawn it for booze money

[@whatthetrend8323]

@@Kris.G By Vectron's ant ridden shoes you're right!

[@Vesnicie]

No, it's The Magic Flute and the outfit is based on the character Papageno.

[@agt155]

I have a purple organ, but that's another story.

[@joshacollins84]

You might wanna loosen your grip of is gone purple.

[@stevenwebb3634]

You might want to see a doctor about that

[@MarthaRoseMoore415]

NOICE!!

[@HolyGhost66]

Lolz

[@nondescripthandle212]

you've got a purple member? Like tinky winky

[@tuckintospidey]

The twist of the Red Tuba always has me crying, just the blunt statement "I have a Red Tuba that makes you shit yourself." 😂😂

[@JackT13]

I don’t know what’s funnier, the green clarinet sketch or David screaming ‘ARRRGGGHHH’ at Rob’s inability to type

[@thatoneguychad420]

David's screaming because we've all felt that exact same way before.

[@kishansathees653]

for me it’s everytime robert shakes his head in disappointment with the clarinet playing in the background

[@mmckenzie9367]

My mother in law has a tortoise shell accordion that makes peoples ears bleed.

[@telectronix1368]

Tell her not to throw it so hard.

[@MM-vv8mt]

At folk festivals, it is important to always lock the door to one's vehicle lest someone break in and leave either an accordion or a banjo.

[@RedRatTheRed]

I have an avocado bathroom that enrages renovation show hosts

[@leonardobrien]

I have a blue piano, but it's a lot harder to haul around to restaurants, etc.

[@Emiliapocalypse]

Should have got yourself a blue keytar instead 🎶

[@JackDManheim]

@@Emiliapocalypse Indeed. Everybody should have a blue keytar

[@johncitizen306]

You have a cringe pfp and no balls

[@amazingmagmorter]

Quite possibly my favourite sketch of all time.

[@Mr.Monta77]

You confuse possibility with probability. Or the other way around.

[@amazingmagmorter]

@@Mr.Monta77 Twas 8 years ago

[@SeppiMaulwurf]

@@amazingmagmorter did you learn the difference in the meantime? 😂

[@amazingmagmorter]

@@SeppiMaulwurf Think my grammar back when I was 12 was fine

[@rosschops9509]

Listen to Mitchell and Webb sound cash register shop sketch!

[@treasuremage7546]

Yeah, well I have a mahogany accordion that makes you feel pity for my subpar accordion playing

[@drpaulquiz4326]

I have one of those, but in red.

[@Thoughtland]

I have a magenta ukulele that makes you walk backwards and sing Bee Gee's songs.

[@liamcoghlan5408]

That sounds great

[@Highstar25]

i have a taupe harp that makes you smell mildly of trout

[@colinm366]

This is just brilliant writing. Period.

[@Badkarma333]

Definitely hilarious but oddly sinister.

[@cosmicwire6356]

I have a blue accordion that makes people feel like they’re being chased by something.

[@burntgrahamcracker2866]

So you’re the reason I’ve been so paranoid you bastard!

[@NickHoad]

I have a turquoise french horn. It doesn't do much, but it sounds nice...

[@josemaria8177]

This sketch sums up US foreign policy post WW2, being the only country with nukes, they could do anything they wanted. It is also well known that Truman's mother made his costume and that he wasn't allowed near local schools

[@VelvetMetrolink]

I'm not sure their racist views were harboured secretly.

[@samveeproductions8762]

Are you suggesting that the red tuba represents the Soviet Union or something?

[@eliamor1782]

i think all US presidents shouldn’t be allowed near schools

[@johncitizen306]

​@@eliamor1782ole sniffy Joe must be on the register surely?

[@spencerraney4979]

If I can’t get a green clarinet that makes people tell embarrassing truths, could I at least get a turquoise oboe that makes people make awkward noises with their mouth?

[@thatoneguychad420]

I've got a purple headed skin flute.

[@nathanmcgill7249]

Oboes already make the oboist make awkward noises with their mouth

[@danielcollin8227]

I have a teal coloured sliding-whistle that makes you vomit pigeons

[@EyesLikeBroccoli]

Their 'Rude Gandhi' comes in a close second for me.

[@ryanne.5172]

I have a golden flute that summons the bees

[@Bazawaza1]

With Great Power comes Great Responsibility ;)

[@Phloneme]

I have a cerulean harpsichord that turns tampons into sardines.

[@ASChambers]

Absolute classic!

[@TheThomas64fan]

an orange trumbone forces you to fall in love with Martha Stewart

[@MM-vv8mt]

I was cursed by a geinie and so am doomed to be constantly folllowed by a sad trombone.

[@freekjegeen8603]

I have a turquoise kazoo that makes people punch me in the face Pretty sure it isn’t magic though…

[@Barra_]

:O I want a clarinet like that, if only mine did that when I played it lol That was hilarious XD

[@googoogjoobgoogoogjoob]

Some douche used that tuba on me the other night. Mind you, I had had 8 pints of Stella and a vindaloo.

[@CyberBeep_kenshi]

'Delete, delete, delete, weeeeeeeeee i gone too fast ' 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@thatonekidonaboat1269]

Love that every one in the comments are sharing their musical instruments

[@louiseogden1296]

Olivia Coleman is awesome.

[@sbraypaynt]

*Gaunter O Dimm goes to England*

[@coolhandle572]

the U.S.: bondald trump the UK: man with flute

[@jimmyr270]

I have a yellow French horn which makes everyone giggle like little girls

[@hotelmario510]

Mitchell and Webb Look sketches run the gamut between everyday slice-of-life stuff, and absolutely bizarre stuff like this

[@vikingursigurdsson]

I have a blue bass that makes people hold their hands over their ears

[@MyGreatAuntFanny]

Very good!

[@sirpercivalsmallcock-jones9585]

I have a mauve euphonium that makes cats explode.

[@LordSandwichII]

+Throatwobbler Mangrove Is your name pronounced "Raymond Luxury Yacht?" XD

[@sirpercivalsmallcock-jones9585]

Lord Sandwich No, it's spelled that way. I prefer to use 'Throatwobbler Mangrove' as my KZbin name to avoid mispronunciation.

[@playerthe2nd]

ive got a yellow flute......doesnt do much

[@Mishima505]

Although I wouldn’t mind if Olivia Colman really did push in front of me in a queue…

[@sowpmactavish]

So everybody in that room just shat themselves

[@danielreed5199]

David got his wish of sorts.... Robert Webb starred in a film called Confetti, where he and Olivia Colman played nudists. Both of them hated the film because they were misled on how much nudity would be shown.

[@youtubeistrash2347]

How much was shown

[@dractaimatsu]

I have a pink theremin that reminds people of ghosts

[@TryDiy]

I have bagpipes that make me obnoxious.

[@TheOneiFear]

Well you see, I have an orange flute that makes you allergic to oxygen!

[@CartesianNullification]

It be crap to be having a nice meal and then everyone simultaneously shits themselves 💩

[@jxzzpng]

the probation officer tagged me

[@Wattywatasaurus]

Ah! That makes sense! It sounded to me like she was saying "I don't engage in strike well," and I figured that it couldn't be that, because it doesn't make any sense. So I tried harder and harder, and just couldn't hear it any differently. Now you say it, though, I can hear it perfectly!

[@danielponder690]

I have a red bassoon, it offers up no special powers :(

[@michaelq77]

I've just advanced my lip reading skills.

[@gnorung7769]

One of the earlier brown note jokes

[@Elendor57]

You're gonna go far, kid!

[@TheOneTakeLiveCast]

The head shaking 😆

[@MM-vv8mt]

I have a black und grey glockenspiel designed by Hugo Boss that makes you goose step and try to conquer neighboring countries.

[@jedi01sith]

I saw three ships (come sailing in)

[@AngsterGaming]

I have a yellow basoon... nevermind.

[@justincronkright5025]

I have a brown harmonica, but you don't want to know why it's that colour!

[@rustyshackelford3590]

I have a orange triangle that makes people impersonate dead celebrities

[@redmystery3.143]

I have a brass coloured trombone that can make any joke funny.

[@CheyMarie24]

I have a blue saxophone which makes you twerk xD

[@richardsawyer5428]

At least it wasn't a pink oboe. I've heard that there's films about those.

[@CyberBeep_kenshi]

I have a sad trombone.wav

[@2tommyrad]

Play a lil tune or use it like a truncheon. Versatile!

[@drewdemien481]

Red tuba that makes you.... Hilarious absurdity...thank you.

[@madmanarragon]

I have to try this

[@DonHavjuan]

I loved all 7 pixels of this video

[@Pagliacci_Rex]

I'll have to take it from you! *Whack* 😅

[@Nebol]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/d2isYqiFgLiVqrM There it is, only with better quality.

[@iamthestig1]

So would I.

[@seventwistsclockwise]

can't work out what the lady in the supermarket says?! I seem to be harbour raises fuse i don't engage in strike well?!

[@e.d.m3076]

'I secretly harbour racist views; I don't think Asians drive well.'

[@stevenesbitt3528]

Have to wonder where they found a green clarinet

[@druinofodd1762]

They got it from the green clarinet man

[@Kalenz1234]

What's the name of the melody that they always play with the clarinet?

[@zh84]

"I saw three ships come sailing in | Come sailing in, come sailing in | I saw three ships come sailing in | On Christmas day in the morning!"

[@marshalllucky]

webb and mitchell are funny :-(

[@TheWickedWizardOfOz1]

My sister types like Rob...

[@madisonbray95]

I have a grey biwa that turns people into weebs... Might be unrelated, but I think it's neat.

[@TheHobbyist180]

It’s a clarinet

[@MrZodiac666]

Very Mighty Booshy

[@playerthe2nd]

na na, na na na naaa. Well that makes me feel alot better now.

[@psychoangus]

Delete delete weeeeeee!

[@chumshot1]

@Thoughtland LOLZZ

[@5uperM]

I'm not sure if the nudist part was part of the sketch.

[@zacmumblethunder7466]

No, they often appear as "themselves" in behind the scenes moments.

[@Kryptnyt]

3:24 Papa John?

[@TheChocochimp]

Wow, I was about to type the same thing!

[@peterhall6656]

Is there a pink oboe version of this?

[@kidtwist29]

I have a red guitar that makes cats leave the room.

[@allstarwatt7246]

240p.....

[@dovstochel4939]

I have a giant slide whistle but it makes people laugh at me

[@mazzerb2894]

Funny af 😅😅

[@Dim4323]

Delete delete delete weeeeee whoop gone to far

[@chocsal]

Thank heavens for Ctrl-Z. I think Rob was exaggerating to get out of the task, as with 'comparative housework ignorance'.

[@playerthe2nd]

oh no, boo hoo i dont have my own comedy show, well at least i dont go around making cynical replys to other peoples comments. sad.

[@Wattywatasaurus]

What did Olivia Colman say after "I secretly harbour racist views?"

[@alisalverson7321]

I don't think Asians drive well

[@Vesnicie]

Dear cultural illiterates in the comments section, this is based on The Magic Flute, you know, the Mozart opera. His outfit is quite close to that of the character called Papageno. The eponymous flute has the power to convert sadness into joy.

[@agentsmith3142]

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand That Mitchell and Webb Look. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also David Mitchell's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Mitchell and Webb truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in the green clarinet sketch which itself is a cryptic reference to Mozart's The Magic Flute. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as the genius wit of David Mitchell and Robert Webb unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes, by the way, i DO have a Mitchell and Webb tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

[@A-small-amount-of-peas]

No it's not. It's based on the Riddler from the original Batman series

[@marcwilliams9824]

​@@agentsmith3142"nothing personnel" from the person bragging about how smart they are...

[@WelcomeBackMeHere]

@@marcwilliams9824 Its a copy paste meme....... Did you seriously not figure that out yourself?

[@Dim4323]

1:21 i dont think Asians drive well Rlol

[@rnw2739]

Would be funnier if she said "I don't think p***s drive well" lol 3:32

[@theradgegadgie6352]

I've heard many silly racist things, but never that Asians can't drive. Definitely a new one.

[@221b-Maker-Street]

That's why they chose it - because it's clearly ludicrous.

[@schizoidman601]

Similar character to Sparky in Bruiser. Same voice by Webb

[@Snowie7826]

The only thing that can stop a bad man with a green clarinet is a good man with a red tuba

[@LilyGrace95]

I love that you can hear the truth while the clarinet is played 😂

[@DJAngiePangie]

I have a black and silver clarinet that makes my cat run away.

[@gelraldoldo5152]

12 years, dam

[@DJAngiePangie]

@@gelraldoldo5152 This is a very strange window into my past... Why did I write this? More than that, why did 24 people like it? 😂

[@themostbritishpersonalive868]

@@DJAngiePangie well presumably your cat is scared of clarinets