The Hunt for Content Creation

I started seeing videos about the upcoming Moogle Treasure Trove event in FFXIV, and fell down the rabbit hole of channels that placidly read lodestone articles. Thus, I had no choice but to do what any memer would do, and poke fun at them.

[@plumdowner1941]

"Roughly 10 minute video" Is exactly 10 minutes long. *Perfect.*

[@ssjd2]

or approximately 1/5th of a Dun Scaithe run for a measly 7 tomestones.

[@tininai8900]

well the music at the end has to be slowed down to make it 10 min... so... roughly is correct.

[@MikeBison_]

If you're looking for video ideas Cider, why not try covering the Moogle mail questline or the Scholasticate questline in your 'angry because small' format? :D

[@darkedge221]

The Postman quest will be perfect for getting mad.

[@GhostAeonWolf]

and then there is Bozja and Baldesion

[@eternalspitfire9064]

I came here for Mad Because Small. I stay for all this new content. Because it is wonderful.

[@AzureIV]

Same.

[@megankeck6417]

Also same.

[@soarinskya4034]

Also also same... and late.

[@CiderSpider]

Well do ya? Do ya like namazu?

[@WingdingsChickenhead]

YES YES

[@eternalspitfire9064]

I didnt like them from the moment i met them in Stormblood. That hatred has not waivered over 2 expansions.

[@Gravewhisper]

nah, they creepy af! :D

[@echo_9835]

YES YES

[@wenxue2222]

I like them in a crispy batter with fries and maybe a sauce of some kind.

[@eyedam]

I do think that Mad Because Small could go through the Hildenbrand story line. Since New Game+ exists, it could even be done at any time with any glam appropriate.

[@Iymarra]

Mad because oil daddies.

[@elvinglass2465]

It would be hard to make fun of something that already makes fun of itself.

[@megankeck6417]

@@elvinglass2465 or laughably easy?

[@Shinku_no_sanbun]

@@elvinglass2465 Maybe they could take it completely seriously just to be different.

[@babblerscorner]

The references to netscape navigator... I feel called out and ancient at the same time

[@tremor3258]

asking Jeeves takes me pretty damn far back too.

[@gilessaint-loup2426]

Dang near choked on the brownie I was eating when he brought it out.

[@GimmeTOKYO]

The moment I saw those pixel boxes I snorted my soda and it hurts 😭 I hate being over 35

[@1033515]

@@tremor3258 I was waiting for a dogpile reference

[@Iymarra]

God, same. Was expecting BBS to be brought up then.

[@Damy0012]

The fact that I was actually passively half-watching this while eating a meal makes this video 100x better

[@starship-nine4892]

Cider Spider: “I’m assuming that you can’t read.” Also Cider Spider: Puts subtitles on the video at the same time

[@Gloomdrake]

Yeah, but you can't read them

[@Jemstoness]

Are you gonna finish mad because small for shadowbringers and continue it with endwalker? That would be amazing. But this content is also amazing.

[@CiderSpider]

yes

[@Bongaboi151]

@@CiderSpider Looking forward to the next one, Cider! Go go go!

[@ProfessM]

I'm just here for deep smooth voices as this is as close to you reading the phone book. Which for those too young enough a phone book is how we found other people before we used social media for our stalking. Whenever I see namzu I feel the need to burn down a server room.

[@Katelyst]

"Bulbous bedroom eyes" is not a description I expected to hear today or, well, ever. But, here we are.

[@pedanterrific212]

I’d listen to Cider Spider seethingly accuse me of being a fish-pervert ANY day

[@RedPandaTables]

"passively watch while eating lunch", god damn that personal attack.

[@woohzal]

I'm here cos all Lala's should have deep voices like yours.

[@Enixon869]

Yuyuhase's Japanese voice approves

[@futhum]

At least all Lala ladies

[@wolffster25]

This video is way too good and sums up my feelings towards people who make videos that could be summed up in just this exact amount of time or by *gasp* reading oh the humanity.

[@KingLalafell]

100% Lalafell King approved

[@Sturm64]

Your meoni impression is spot on

[@UseAbuseReuse]

Cider, this format would be excellent for covering more moogle events and reviewing patch notes for upcoming significant updates.

[@i0423x]

Top tier content. 10/10

[@TamaraBloodhoof]

I am putting you on Alert. You are one of the few content creators where I see a new video and it doesn't matter what it is I click on it immediately ♥

[@SKy_the_Thunder]

I've been support/community manager for a pretty popular game mod for 7 years now - and the amount of players who are apparently too stupid to follow _an illustrated step-by-step guide_ for the mostly automated installation process, and ask for a video guide instead, is way too high... Not to mention those who complain that the page from your wiki you linked to answer their question doesn't say anything about the thing they asked about - when the literal second sentence covers that exact topic in detail. Or those who ask the exact same question that was answered by the very comment above them. Or those who are surprised when we bring up one of the (very short list list of) rules which _they confirmed they read to be allowed to even talk_ in our discord... tl/dr: People are legit unable to read.

[@Sethzenjion]

Now this is the kind of self aware, self deprecating, second monitor content I've been looking for.

[@thenerdydwarf2725]

I can't read.

[@FluffieXStarshine]

Ishgard restoration was so good for leveling up my crafting. These events I find are not bad for leveling alt classes. DPS queues pop pretty fast for them.

[@jennifercollins9116]

As a person who can read AND math, I watch this for your funny take on the matter. Also because I haven't gotten around to going to the lodestone yet.

[@TheNN]

"...I'm going to assume you have no idea what it is and explain every aspect of it..." *Me, a sprout:* "He's talking about me! He knows I was gonna watch the video! (But seriously, I really had no idea this was a thing)

[@handbananabusta1034]

He took a shot at older people. Netscape with a ask jeeves jab. I am old and going to bed now. 10/10 will watch again. Once my AOL cd come in for internet access.

[@TomuYoutube]

Can't wait for the sequel to this where Cider spider just uploads the same video again with no changes.

[@SirVyre]

As another old man from The Before Times, I can read. I read good. You funny man. Tickle my brain. Makes Golden Axe references. Therefore I will always been in your corner. Nobody puts baby in a corner, but baby puts someone in a corner.

[@abird7833]

Hey Cider, you no longer have to make 10 minute videos for midroll ads, 8 minutes is the minimum!

[@Angarato86]

is this throwing shade on meoni? cause im here for it lol. even tho i like meoni these videos are just painful great fucking job i laughed alot XD

[@ilikefoodx20]

literally every meoni video ever

[@inkyblack9824]

How dare you know that I was eating while watching your video!

[@criticalmass7841]

Does Meoni sound different to anyone else? I don't remember him being so short either.

[@Lucron]

This is a vibe I can get behind!

[@king_mosabi]

I don't play FF14 and honestly don't care what specifically your content is. However, I would willingly listen to you passive-aggressively rant and give sass to any topic.

[@edgarbthurson1256]

You are painstrikingry accurate about your stabs and jabs at the game's weakpoints! Although I can read, I want more content!

[@Nobrev]

I understood every reference in this video, so thank you for reminding me that the crawl of time is unceasing and I am getting older and older as it claws forward into eternity.

[@6demonai]

I can read, I come here for the snark. Thanks Cider. This was great.

[@austins.2495]

The Star Wars Podracing game is so fun

[@abs_nobody]

I'm sorry I can't read the subtitles, could you speak more slowly to fill the 10 minutes instead

[@CiderSpider]

ok

[@thepainsight]

100 tomestones to get passively from frontlines yet again

[@Fysyx101]

Was trying to hit subscribe, but couldn’t read to find the button :(

[@CiderSpider]

YOU DON'T EVEN PLAY THIS GAME

[@WingdingsChickenhead]

Bruh, there's so much copium in this video. Pass me some of that *inhale* aahhhhhh

[@BabyShenanigans]

Wait... subscribe or you WILL threaten me? So... you're threatening to threaten me? That doesn't seem very-- OH GOD I CLICKED SUBSCRIBE

[@CorrosiveFox]

That papaya fade out though

[@KincaidtheHedgehog]

"...while you passively watch and eat your lunch." *drop my chicken tender and my mouth.*

[@AaronWGaming]

BLU Through Cutters seems like it will be easiest thing available since no Aurum Vale... you can bet 100% I will be running the Cry on my channel for quick Tomestones so I can get more maps OSTM's are Way too OP for map runs and making money Best Money Printer you can get

[@techdeth]

6:15 OH NO HE DI IIIIIINT

[@bbgdaryl]

this was utter gold

[@docsigma]

Surprised they didn't also throw The Dragon's Neck into the tomestone thunderdome, what with them including the other three Manderville-based trials

[@highlycaffeinated998]

Quick question, does the 14 runs of dun scaith come with all the fun and exciting entertainment of watching people wipe on the first boss a few times?

[@cygnahoshiko4629]

I can personally guarantee it

[@blindfanatic]

I love you, seriously, I love you 🥰 and your videos of course! 😜 I'm still expecting Endwalker Pt. 1 and why not Mandervilles questline? I bet Cider is going to make it awesome! 😁

[@redcpt3791]

You are quickly becoming my favorite xiv KZbinr.. sorry *CONTENT CREATOR*.

[@Khaisz.]

7:37 Ballroom Etiquette - Overzealous Affirmations is from Eureka Hydatos, not Ishgard Restoration.

[@durvailgames]

Were you looking through my webcam while I was learning to read from a Heaven on High Grimoire? AND I REALLY WAS EATING LUNCH!!!

[@tenjenk]

"roughly 10 minutes" *makes video which is EXACTLY **10:00*

[@Morvelaira]

Ah, I see you are about my age. *sage nod*

[@AkariYuudou]

"If this weirdly sexy Void queen doesn't come back in the next patch, I will rage and quit." Pretty sure the upcoming Lapis Manalis dungeon has just the boss for you, Cider! XD

[@tsubasashi]

9 months later, doing the tomestone event pre 6.5...and I'm watching this during The Porta Decumana.

[@redcrystal7710]

I got one better. How about watching your videos...while eating BREAKFAST?? (at the time of this comment, it is 9:50 am lol)

[@MrTripleM3]

I mean I can read- I am just here for get angry yelled at by a fellow lalafell and also the moogle porn. *grabs Cider* WHERE IS YOUR STASH?!

[@weirdbutokay4750]

Why do people watch these? I dunno I usually don't, but you kept me entertained & even after realizing what this video was about, wanted to support your channel . Plus with your voice& humor I'd watch you read/react to near bout anything. Bad fanfiction, weird art, roleplay venues ECT.

[@cheesebreadgo]

Omg I was passively half-watching while I ate breakfast >_>; BUSTED.

[@MidnightWonko]

Us Blue Mages aren't AS OP for this event as some others, though with Ram's Voice, Ultravibration, Missile, Moon Flute, Whistle, Final Sting, and the usual spells for the Moon Flute rotation, Brayflox's Longstop looks to be the best dungeon for farming this, for a rate of about 60 tomestones an hour. All players should be Blue Mages, 3 with DPS synch, and one with tank synch. The tank should pull all adds up to the first boss while using mitigation abilities, then probably Diamondback just before the first boss, while one of the other Blue Mages vibe checks the trash mobs. The first boss can be killed quickly with Missile spam. Afterwards, the tank should gather the enemies in the next room, including the two that spawn next to the first cage after passing it. Vibe check these, as well. For the second boss, do a Moon Flute opener, and it'll go down quick. In the room after, either Missile or vibe check the two gobbies in front of the gate, grabe the key, grab the mobs that jump down late in the next pack, and vibe check the whole lot of them. For the final boss, the tank needs to turn off Mighty Guard, and all Blue Mages should use Whistle, Moon Flute, and Swiftcast, then perform a synchronized Final Sting so that the final boss dies before it ever gets a chance to go into its invuln state.

[@NytingGayle]

STAHP! 😆🤣 I'd say more but, since I'm too lazy to read, I'm also too lazy to type! LOL

[@Bobothefish13]

Because I can’t read I don’t know what this box does but funny symbols keep appearing. If anything coherent appears; that’s luck, do not question it.

[@ChaoGuy2006]

Free Trial player here- didn't realize they retonned the Livia stuff? Does that mean Gaius doesn't ask her for Netflix and Chill in his quarters in that one cutscene with the 4 generals and Ultima Weapon being under construction. It still kinda fit Gaius- spoils of conquest and giving motivation to an underling for yet more conquest. Even so, Livia is still shown as a bunny boiler in her other dialogue. I'm more mad Cid doesn't crash a ship into the shield anymore tho.

[@Dw7freak]

I'm still waiting on more of those Eikon varsity jackets. I've been using the Ifrit one in my glam since I got it back in SHB and I want one for Bahamut so badly. It completes the soccer mom look my character has going, because that's how I feel the WOL's job in the Scions is.

[@tufcat92]

The amount of SD cards distributed for certain activities is kind of weird. Who's running Void Ark for 2? I'd rather come in 3rd in Frontlines

[@Kazagari]

I feel that Empyreum mad. I too am also thoroughly happy being stuck in the Goblet. Being a Saint of the Firmament should allow an extra lottery chance. /angry

[@KILLRAIN42]

Hang on, people dislike the hildibrand content? Really? I've heard nothing but praise and demands that I go do it. Why do people dislike fun and stupid?

[@Nomicakes]

"That you'll half-watch while you eat lunch." Me, with a burger in my hand.... >.>

[@Enderlinkpawnu]

I like this video, not because I can’t read, but because you mentioned Pod Racer for the Nintendo 64, and that gave *was* pretty good.

[@echo_9835]

Makes a 10 minute video marketed to people who can't read. Adds subtitles anyways.

[@badgob]

Peace sells....but who's buying. Nice call out back to a really old Megadeth song. :D

[@andrewrobillard7192]

jokes on you, i was eating breakfast, not lunch...at 3pm. this still counts as breakfast right?

[@brightargyle8950]

Wrong! I passively half watch while eating DINNER.

[@SuperiorPosterior]

2:56 I'm watching this because I don't play FF XIV but your voice is soothing

[@robertjames6936]

Making your own version of something that already existed and didn't need to be made to get cash and then dragging it out to get extra cash, very lalafell of you fellow small! /cheer /clap /happy /wringhands

[@phoenixruin6640]

I come, because I am a degenerate, lazy piece of trash. I would rather watch the info than to read… OK seriously, the real reason we come to watch videos like this is because if we didn’t, our shins would be gone overrun by the little demons, known as the Lalas But fortunately, I know of a way to protect thy shins and that is the high quality head. Pat guaranteed to quell the anger of any Lala.

[@Tannershide]

Why did "Subscribe or I will threaten you!" work? I mean, yes, it mostly because it made me aware I had not actually subscribed but still.

[@kathleenbrooks6677]

🤣 totally love your content. Espically when I'm in game. Goofing off. 🤣🤪

[@bulshock1221]

Jokes on you! I casually watch it while I eat breakfast. And listen to Mad Because Small to fall asleep to.

[@FPSticky]

Holy shit CiSpi, the based as HELL Scathach take. 100% agree, every bit.

[@dizzybum3997]

"passively half-watch while you eat lunch" Please remove the camera you installed in my office.

[@TheAwesomeMansa]

Oh you should cover the MSQ for those troglodytes that dont want to read through ARR and such! Do like a whole summary in that sexy voice of yours.

[@mattsullivan2458]

Can someone explain to me the strange symbols he posts on the bottom of the KZbin video? I think it's words or something, but as someone who can't read I can't confirm.

[@lanah_tyra]

"Let's put on a totally random and irrelevant Cider Spider video to watch while eating lunch..." then that last line hit XD

[@urpwnd4]

Funny enough, I was in the middle of my lunch break when I got the upload notification.

[@morteaux3662]

I watched it and watched all other 5 video explanations, while playing the game, so you can guys get money! :P

[@remitifromhell]

Like for the precisely dropped Megadeth reference after the Megadeath mechanics (mechanix?).

[@mewofforcena]

From someone who managed to get a large house right in Christmas eve out of some freak luck... HAH!

[@ode-blu]

I came back to this video after talking about the generic patch update videos and mentioning to a friend. It got stuck in my head since then. This is pure form of art, you can't convince me otherwise

[@ZoomFarmer42069]

Who in the literal FRCIK doesn't like Manderville quests?

[@quincysqueaks7860]

The timeworn maps are good for making gil. 100% chance of portal 100% of the time.

[@Some_guy_and_his_games]

5:15 Simple, for Sorrows of Werlyt. In Sorrows they proclaim that Livia is another orphan Gaius took in, it would make it weird that her adoptive father had a sexual relationship with her

[@AdamOwenBrowning]

i love that this game ostensibly is making fun of us, the viewer. I love even more that it's a video making fun of all the stupid fucking channels that tepidly read lodestone articles or just the patch notes, as though we can't read l0l I thought itinerant moogle events were cool. Now I am getting reminded we'll be running some of the most boring content instead

[@LuciferielOphelia]

Head into the Balmung quicksand for some free content... say hello to Amonar of Leveret if you see them~

[@Wanderer_of_Sol]

Yeah... I think I'm just going to go to e621 for my moogle canoodling.

[@MCG55SS]

"I am going to assume you have no idea what it is" Me: who has been playing for like 3 months casually and has no freaking idea what it is, "fair assumption"