The Inconvenient Truth About Divorce: Bridget Phetasy on staying together for the kids.

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We hear all the time that children are resilient - and should be even more so! But do divorcing parents overestimate their kids’ resilience to justify their actions? Should “staying together for the children” come back into style? Returning guest Bridget Phetasy talks about her recent article for The Spectator about an aspect of divorce that rarely gets discussed: the ripple effects over decades as adult children and grandchildren are spread thin among multiple families and step-families. Bridget’s parents, who had five children under 12 when they divorced, followed the logic that parental happiness is better for children than “staying together for the kids.” But is that really true? Bridget’s essay kicked off a huge conversation online and touched a lot of nerves (and ruffled a lot of feathers) and she and Meghan continue that conversation here.
They also talk about their shared desire to quit the content creator hustle and move to the woods. Also, Bridget apologizes to Meghan for a microaggression that’s been haunting her, even though Meghan has no memory of it.
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*GUEST BIO*
Bridget Phetasy is a Spectator columnist and contributing editor. She is also the host of the Weekly Dumpster Fire on KZbin and the Walk-Ins Welcome podcast.
Follow her on Twitter: bit.ly/4cNWrWy
Rumble: bit.ly/3RYBgsD
And KZbin: bit.ly/3XYLpcE
Or join her community at phetasy.com/.
You can read her article for The Spectator here: bit.ly/465I5yv
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[@payleryder45]

The Divorce is one thing. What comes after is another - parents no longer fully invested in the family that they broke in half, and seeking other social arrangements. The children survive in a physical sense, so I suppose you can convince yourself that the negative outcomes which emerge later are because your kid is screwed up and not because you screwed him up.

[@WNH3]

re: children being resilient: I used to hear that "kids bounce back" but it very much depends how high you drop them...

[@joeketa6352]

My parents split up when I was 6 in 1980. The stability that I lost was balanced by new and diverse experiences. It's obvious to me that the divorce had a big effect on me, but I learned early that life goes on and one needn't fear change nor be too precious in holding onto things. That said, I've noticed that many of my peers who grew up with divorced parents have gotten married and stayed married, sometimes stubbornly so. My marriage is very good. However, I think that even if it were bad I would be very reluctant to get divorced until the kids are grown. My older brother's marriage is not good in my view (they've slept in separate rooms for over a decade), but I'm sure that he and his wife will not split up until the kids are grown. It seems to me that the adults from my generation who suffered from divorced parents are now more committed to sticking together if children are involved. However, I don't know if the statistics support my experience.