The Incorrect History of Milk

[@aengustopping5648]

I feel like about 8 lines of this are scripted and the rest is just whatever came to him at the time

[@yuutafiles]

aengus topping not at all. everything is historically accurate and true.

[@Grodz73]

liz jean ted just has big brain

[@joshwav282]

aengus topping I feel like he just had notes and went from there

[@bruhsauce644]

kuros6ki he means that ted is so bigbrain he remembered the entire history of milk

[@calevoid]

He could write for interdimentional cable

[@dakar6667]

Theory: Ted is a direct descendant of Creamtime. Evidence: Nivison is actually an anagram for Creamtime, if you shuffle around some letters, remove a couple, and add a few more, than you get Creamtime. Ted 'Nevison' Creamtime

[@uhoh7545]

"Remove a couple, add some more" that's not how it works bud. You see, if you get a photo editing software and use it to copy paste some line strokes from already existing letters in "Nivison" (e.g the Straight line in N turning into t in Creamtime with some editing) you get a proper anagram.

[@dakar6667]

@@uhoh7545 Of course, how could I be so stupid?

[@jannicoderso1591]

Lion von Adern he is so fucking strong... he propably is the only one who is able to drink the milk of the golden cow, that might be why he is so strong!

[@jannicoderso1591]

Lion von Adern big Lion is too powerful to have descendants. No human body can hold the sheer power.

[@luigi1464]

@@uhoh7545 imagine not knowing what a joke is

[@calebwarren7509]

Not gonna lie I didn’t look at the title completely and didn’t realize this was a joke until the nazi opened the portal to hell

[@dabaconanton7732]

What do you mean this all actually happened

[@Charlie-hv3dh]

DaBaconAnton band kid Carson looking php.

[@dabaconanton7732]

@@Charlie-hv3dh you're right lmao, its an old picture tho

[@bazookajoe200]

Not everything before this?

[@sadovuato]

Dude you know this actually happened right? It’s all entirely canon. Read the college history books.

[@therealbingus5143]

He sounds so sure of himself, I'm actually inclined to believe him.

[@finn7395]

@V S 😐

[@nikothehomie1968]

@V S you seem like, and apparently are, the kind of annoying ass person to constantly bring your view of politics into everything despite the fact that nobody cares

[@a.bustamante1917]

when i watched his pizza one i was so confused because i honestly wasnt sure if it was satire or not 💀

[@thetajinos7790]

Ok

[@redmist6630]

damn it. thought it said milf

[@user-uq5rm7io8h]

"Don't shoot the messenger" Jschlatt: the game was rigged from the start

[@katieshort101]

aidanovv i thought u were me

[@fatseip9562]

And I thought that you thought you were me

[@alanyamamura]

And you me.

[@user-uq5rm7io8h]

Wait holy shit did this blow up? It was just a fallout new Vegas reference

[@alanyamamura]

(Got what you were after, so pay up.) You’re crying in the rain pallie... (Guess whose waking up o’er here.) Time to cash out... (Can we get it over with.) Maybe Khans kill people without lookin’ em in the face, but I ain’t a fink. Dig? You made your last delivery kid. Sorry you got twisted up in this scene. From where you’re kneeling must seem like a 18 karat run of bad luck. Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.

[@rosiebrotherton4911]

The amount of times I forgot this was a joke whilst watching this and thought “no way”.

[@wessy4148]

Good to know that i wasn't the only one

[@presidentbruh401]

nah man it's all true. history is just fucking wild sometimes

[@markjuarez6469]

Actually, it’s mostly what is accepted milk history. He just threw in conjecture.

[@markjuarez6469]

I have never heard of this guy before. My kind of humor! Okay. He admits he started making it up at 3:25.

[@lukenorthrop3982]

CRAM

[@Kirkbridezip]

How is no one talking about how Friedrich Litcheralyanazi is basically the modern day pandora

[@Kirkbridezip]

Sidvin Sivakumar Wait it’s not the 1940s?

[@ciangrant3042]

@Sidvin Sivakumar modern classical music started around the 1900s. It's all relative

[@hiffhaff3668]

Lol he literally is tho. Hey freid, why did you have to take the freakin milk dude

[@plucky8949]

“what’s your obscure comfort video?”

[@PianoMan0]

mine managed to become the pizza as a pirate video

[@sansgriffin6943]

I can’t believe this all happened

[@epicgamer2571]

Shits crazy smh my head

[@personman6829]

How can you not

[@goosewithgangsigns921]

Sans Peter

[@april-ox2re]

sans griffin

[@shaneverse]

@@epicgamer2571 smh my head makes me uncomfortable.

[@unknown-bo3ye]

I genuinely forgot this wasn’t real until he started talking about the hell portal

[@Gibblerrr]

unhoes I was hoping I wasn’t the only one

[@jaeishyun]

This is real

[@grantamanta2415]

Yeah until he said “crunchy men” I remembered it was a joke

[@solliejay]

Wow a hell portal denier , I hate it when people stop looking at facts and just go off shity beliefs . NEWS FLASH TVE HELL PORTAL HAPPENED and like he said a class 6 hell portal

[@heather8777]

666th like

[@bladimir352]

He should have a series called “Ted Talks”

[@chesterwallace2271]

wow that's already a thing

[@tortle7882]

@@chesterwallace2271 NO REALLY

[@christopheralley2807]

r/woosh

[@gavinskeen3929]

haha i get it cause r/woooosh is a subreddit! 😂 LMAO!!!

[@donovandamron75]

HeckoTheGecko reddit moment

[@EnbyAxolotlOfficial]

If I ever become a history teacher this is what I'll be putting on on April Fools day for class

[@lhoward1309]

My sister teaches middle school, and I will beg her so much to show this for April fools

[@ekclapper339]

im going to college to study history with the goal of being a history teacher so i promise you ill put this in the syllabus

[@theycallhimthebandit]

@@ekclapper339 add some sam o' nella too

[@stvrluz]

@@lhoward1309 so how'd that go

[@jewels2606]

@@lhoward1309 how did that go?

[@adamleston3737]

I’m convinced he’s still high from that 400mg edible

[@pizzaman-ct5ld]

Fr but also imagine watching this while high💀

[@yeetyeetson2871]

@@pizzaman-ct5ld oh i am and it’s very fun

[@slabon6091]

@@pizzaman-ct5ld bro i am so high rn, nothing mkes any fuckin sense and my mind is melting

[@badernera7497]

@@slabon6091 nothing making sense kinda makes sense no?

[@slabon6091]

@@badernera7497 bro I was zooted

[@ogdrycoop292]

I’m gonna show this to my kids and call it “Ted Talks”

[@joeyolar1485]

That’s genius

[@TWTO8818]

A better ted talk in my opinion

[@The_Attack_of_Geek]

Look I like that this isn't just the same type of "I'm going tell my kids..." but its still a version of "I'm going to tell my kids..." so I'm gonna ask you to up fuck shut the

[@STOM4CH]

If Ted makes this a series he has to call it that

[@Shinransa]

Ted do be talking

[@Smelliotbot]

Moses is FUMING after Ted called Fiji water ‘shed water’

[@ilarocks]

is that a picture from the most brilliant movie ever made, dr. suess’ cat in the hat starring alec baldwin?

[@SuperheroMovieMusic]

Moses is definitely fuming

[@newfonewhodis8396]

IM FUCKIN FUUUUMIN MATE

[@nytmarelysm]

@@ilarocks I was going to ask the same thing

[@Smelliotbot]

@@ilarocks You best believe it

[@Kaijomo]

The hardest part of being lactose intolerant is having to wake up at 5am to milk the almonds

[@frannyannie2041]

imagine milking oats.....

[@papayadoodlez9994]

True

[@whacknudle5524]

Thats a joke ur uncle would make, good job

[@arirosen5129]

That’s rough

[@ippuda1176]

Agreed

[@sillygoofy1893]

ted is rlly getting good use out of his green screen

[@theoccasionalsnickerdoodle2525]

John Green screen for true history

[@GZAPPLE]

that is not a greem screen, he is in the place he is. he traveled around the world, and traveled inside a windows computer

[@nabbe5751]

What’re you talking about he didn’t use any green screen

[@averyg9062]

I can’t like the comment because it’s at 666 and I can’t be the one to take it off of that

[@sillygoofy1893]

nicthetic ASMR oh shit ur right

[@clairebear8938]

Alternative Title: Ted abusing the power of the greenscreen

[@laundari]

What do you mean he was in his house the whole time

[@theflare9557]

Utilizing his environment*

[@frogdrewathing8095]

do you mean to tell me he wasn't in Egypt telling me about the golden cow

[@peternoparker]

hey we both have mabel pfps nice!

[@jjd3hner544]

Ted finds out how to chroma key

[@f11luke8]

Gonna tell my kids this was John green

[@samantham7839]

When he said “read it and weep Samantha” that scared the shit outta me

[@hiffhaff3668]

Oh your name is Samantha. hahaaaa that's funny

[@kadiquiggins4458]

Good

[@Sam-be6wg]

same

[@libsyates2426]

@@kadiquiggins4458 this comment was so funny it almost made me choke on my milk

[@kadiquiggins4458]

@@libsyates2426 Good

[@lassi1784]

I come to watch the history of Milk and 5 minutes later Ted is telling me how Friedrich the Nazi opened a portal to hell

[@an_annoying_cat]

“The German army had been researching artifacts of power in order to gain a footing in the war” Ok I think I got this one “One of these artifacts was a man encased in a pillar buried a thousand years ago”

[@benjaminj4535]

Jojo and his friends used the power of milk to fight the pillar dudes

[@Apples720]

They also researched some weird golden arrows

[@presidentbruh401]

@@benjaminj4535 i think you mean jojo and the jobros

[@kyle-packard]

awaken intensifys

[@crowmagnon]

True story, trust me

[@BozzMander]

I can’t tell what is fact and what is fiction and I’m scared to google it because Ted would tear out my spleen

[@audreybrown949]

then he would crush it so completely it would be akin to milk, to fit his brand

[@kreej.999]

PyresWrath it’s all facts

[@hailcaesar2328]

I'm sold on the hell portal, but I don't know about the origins of the milkman uniform.

[@t.t.timmersonproductions3785]

I love the fact that he essentially encountered a home intruder and just went into a whole seminar on milk history

[@monkeflip3817]

Ted could convince us the moon isn’t real

[@matildamwh]

it was the b i r d s

[@maxkrasnicki7643]

Matilda W-H pffft, you believe in birds?

[@matildamwh]

Maxiboy 642 they could be listening, it wasn’t the birds, it was the bourgeoisie-

[@bioniclewaluigi4184]

Ha! What a bunch of moon truthers! Nerds!

[@chextheroyalbastard3495]

@@matildamwh bro, the bourgeoisie is just a distraction from the fact Atlantis is actually the civilization spying on us smh. It’s the bees that are watching us

[@ophieophiesophie]

He didn’t use a green screen he’s just in the void

[@somemagellanic]

the pictures are cardboard cutouts moved around by people in white suits

[@Mikasacusfan]

he stared at the yandering abyss for too long.

[@rgbfall5124]

Nah that's milk

[@somemagellanic]

@@rgbfall5124 milk isn't _that_ shade of white. only the void is.

[@rgbfall5124]

@@somemagellanic Maybe it's the fabled void milk

[@will_mikes_4210]

Everything he’s saying sounds so believable

[@juggerNOTtoday]

Because it's all true history, obvs

[@RoachCatJr]

thats bc its true u tard

[@will_mikes_4210]

tiddy fuk tha police yeah my bad I’ve never seen a stage 6 hell portal I’ve only seen a stage 5 so my mind was kind of blown

[@endmybuffering]

yeah, and it doesn't help that at this point in his career he looked like a trustable guy who's just researching milk for a school project or something

[@tonnoh4944]

*Licherallyanazi*

[@pezdespencer8899]

I can’t believe that Shimshaw Creamtime lived minutes away from my hometown

[@connorpedrazzi]

When you forgot that you had to give a speech for your history final and had no research done prior.

[@Styxintheriver]

“We’re talkin... big guys” Schlatt: _Ill take your entire stock_

[@srirachadonut8011]

Every time he said “big” and paused, he thought for a second about adding “gay men” to the end

[@flambedread9532]

Big hot sweaty men fucking

[@al85945]

Big Hot Steamy Men

[@joeyolar1485]

Only 10

[@Slinkydink5272]

Nah Schlatts using his Harvard education and His YouTooz money to develop a time machine so he can slip back in time to the hell portal and get his big men on

[@caitiejackson7430]

Ted was definitely that kid in school who never did his presentations on time, and winged every single one of them and always got A’s.

[@TedNivison]

Caitie jackson jeez this is kinda accurate doh

[@2Suave]

@@TedNivison hey shut up

[@thelazermonkyslaboratory5553]

@Sore Cheeks hey shut up

[@samstewart4830]

ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP

[@whenyou3939]

@@samstewart4830 no, fuck the shut up!

[@sliggumzz]

when the background is higher quality than Ted is

[@JohnGenericName]

Ted, I showed my girlfriend your video on milk taste testing. She had no prior knowledge of your content. She now calls you "That milk guy." I think you'll agree that this is a success.

[@Lavaguava27]

Girls run from me in fear😢

[@bobbruh8538]

Gavin Lambdin nice

[@barackobama1381]

@@Lavaguava27 same, like they start to walk quickly away from me and when I begin to catch up they straight up run. And when I start running behind them they start screaming for help, what am I going wrong?!

[@eyechedelia]

@@barackobama1381 thank you for your anecdote, former president of the United States, Barack Obama

[@thecolonoscoper5168]

@@barackobama1381 Your problem is you're running behind them, you've gotta run around and make sure you're faster so that you end up in front of them and they run into you.

[@inmariokartimalwaysdaisy]

POV: you broke into his house and he’s now telling you the “history of milk” (everything is totally correct by the way)

[@lookhowfastiam9831]

take your POV back to tiktok, fiend.

[@hatemails]

@@lookhowfastiam9831 The POV meme isn't from tiktok, friend

[@lookhowfastiam9831]

@@hatemails Its a joke, friend

[@tantilist1449]

What?

[@pixel-hy4jx]

@@lookhowfastiam9831 fuck you, friend

[@chrislee5376]

This is like drunk history but more drunk

[@saltysnowflake5832]

And less history

[@pissapocalypse]

Drunk on milk

[@chrislee5376]

Maggatrix precisely

[@AwesomeTreee]

@@pissapocalypse drunk on kefir

[@chrislee5376]

just some chupacabra with internet access what color is you’re milk?

[@snivylink2119]

"factually true and real history with ted nivision" needs to become a series

[@d0rm4ntp4st3]

guess it is now

[@jabble__]

New FIH dropped today

[@bobmcbobinsmithson1964]

Ted with a green screen is horrifying, and also so epic.

[@NickMate]

When you didn't do your homework, so you make it up on the spot.

[@Orangienblue]

What are you talking about this is all true

[@tameoregano5006]

I’d get an a lol

[@wicked_8193]

A+ on creativity f for facts

[@bradymeehan951]

This comment is no good

[@NickMate]

@@bradymeehan951 no u

[@juliancrissman2420]

This is Ted’s “A tribute to Minecraft”

[@tombriggs6304]

Tru

[@somemagellanic]

this video will get ted into sMp (survival milkplayer)-live

[@elyzanavarrio]

Magellanic Oh boy I hope he streams it :D

[@RaylaEclipse]

Nah, this video is actually good.

[@defectivepikachu4582]

a tribute to milk

[@KilWilShow]

“I’m not rhyming with jest, I’m rhyming with fear.”

[@g0v3rn0r]

the people that disliked this were the historians that lost their homes, jobs, and kids.

[@defectivepikachu4582]

its the fiji men

[@lucascasey8869]

They lost it to fuckin Big Lion.

[@jacksonengland3726]

there are 21 more

[@matriarchalmonarch2752]

Update, 21

[@Freddy0503]

Update 28

[@voidlessvoid6206]

It sounded weirdly real until the war. Shed water? Believable. Insane milk cow? Yep.

[@marin-ss1sw]

Hotel?

[@voidlessvoid6206]

@@marin-ss1sw Trivago.

[@konpeitojellie]

Which war?

[@absoluteidiot9316]

I believed the cow because ubre blanca existed and also because Tarrare existed.

[@porguinturtle3854]

@@konpeitojellie The war

[@justicejudnic3701]

These are the only Ted Talks I'm watching during my quarantine.

[@davesmith2750]

Underrated^

[@themustardthe]

Original^

[@silas1363]

Milk^

[@bamismyname]

Dog^

[@FogzArt]

Mmmmmm slurp^

[@cameronfischer2247]

I love how he says “this is where things get a little crazy so bare with me “ right after he just talked about technologically engineered mega cows that have no limits of milk producing

[@leomellum]

“I could start a country where everyone would have to drink milk as their only food, and I wouldn’t commit any human rights violations. That’s a win in my book.” -Ted Nivison

[@hsimone]

A true genius

[@shroudedsquid7058]

"Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into a calculator, it makes a happy face." ~Cave Johnson

[@davedelirious2180]

I hate the fact that it's 100% true AND 100% possible

[@can_you_help_me_find_her9456]

​​​@@davedelirious2180I love the fact it's 100% true and 100% possible. I can think of way, way worse things than only drinking/ eating milk products, for example, starvation. If you include the ability to eat the dead cows, or for that matter whatever animal you're milking, you literally have the majority of a cheeseburger and if that's a bad country you don't know what bad is. Imagine drinking milk all day and having ice cream for dinner every night, does that sound that bad to you?

[@mypeepeeitchee2353]

The best part about this is, I don’t know exactly where he started lying...

[@peopii]

My peepee Itchee at exactly 13:28

[@chupacabraslaya4849]

What do you mean...lying??

[@seandunoon1576]

The fool in me wants to say that he started lying around the time he mentioned creamtime, but the scholar in me knows that this is all factually true

[@yeet3379]

are you saying our lord and savior ted “the milkman” nivision is lying

[@captinchunky9146]

he DIDNT LIE

[@Etrain42]

Ted has created his own history and religion around milk. I'm impressed.

[@KomradeDoge]

Ah yes, such famous historical figures such as Cremetime, Literallyanazi, and Ratman

[@zippy2470]

If they wanted to kill Charles they would've needed Big Lion since Charles is just a Neutral Good.

[@bigpigeon2384]

Big lion would’ve drowned in a tide of milk

[@anijeepa]

Fun fact:The Milk War was an actual conflict in 2009 between Russia and Belarus.

[@liamwoodfield]

actually it was a conflict in 1775 between thee water mercenaries and the milk man legion

[@hypnotyze_]

Thank you Tronald, very cool!

[@anijeepa]

@@liamwoodfield oh you're right,my bad

[@prgica8050]

*milkman stands and salutes*

[@bondunkulus7648]

On the topic of dairy related wars, there was also the ice cream turf war in Glasgow over ice-cream trucks. (The trucks were selling heroin)

[@pleasantox7655]

Dude, thank you. I've got my AP History exam coming up and this was the refresher I needed

[@roscommon-]

Nice pfp

[@ferniej1713]

How did it go?

[@conditional_dc]

@@ferniej1713 he’s not done yet

[@pleasantox7655]

@@ferniej1713 My actual AP US History exam is next month. Wish me luck

[@ferniej1713]

@@pleasantox7655 I can’t wait to write a dbq about the milk war of 1775

[@CJayEvermoure]

"oh hello, you scared the shit out of me, how did you get into my home?" Fucking gets me every time

[@ColonelChickenCoop]

I’m scared that Ted has the power to take over the world with his “milk”

[@jim-yj2dl]

don't say it like that

[@louistrefeu4738]

why did you emphasize the "milk"

[@madelynbright8524]

I’m thrilled

[@eskizerz]

Cuck Lord wdym

[@Nayoh-yp4rh]

Ted semen ted sedmen

[@fairyzelda3094]

pov: a 6'4" man who is the embodiment of chaos kidnaps you and teaches you the history of milk

[@c3b5s]

reddrriot vic with a green screen*

[@somemagellanic]

@@c3b5s no he's just in the void

[@c3b5s]

Magellanic what’s the void?

[@elwiwi1416]

@@c3b5s where do you think you are right now?

[@c3b5s]

bruh damn

[@tonimel-cao1848]

this man speaks with such Authority i Can't Help but believe every single word that comes out of his mouth

[@basiliapearson7795]

This is pretty much how I imagine Stan lee wrote his comics

[@bobbynahuis5819]

“Charles produced more milk than other cows.” Your picture of Charles was a bull. That wasn’t milk

[@danielnunez1587]

Even better

[@superbsalt]

Good

[@williamsue549]

Your point?

[@arnoldinho.mp4]

William Sue let’s just say that charles had a pretty good time

[@IntrovertedPrincess]

Point Break oh... OH

[@its_kiix]

Plot twist; Ted is actually shimshaw creamtine and just hasn't died yet

[@sheldorf1724]

He lived off of milk his whole life to stay alive

[@Willkreyify]

it makes sense

[@dragasalt7493]

"How did you get into my home?" **summons his Persona**

[@liamwithaspace]

Baby baby baby baby Baby baby baby baby Baby baby baby baby Baby baby baby baby Baby baby baby baby

[@ashikjaman1940]

Stagnate Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf Calf

[@jonarbuckle2894]

Little did we know Ted was a time traveler who went back in time to document milk and this is all absolutely correct

[@gordonramsayshat8791]

Can you say Hi to Garfield for me

[@CellaChai]

Ted Nivison

[@noodledoodle2446]

Ted Nivison

[@Bradfox07]

Noodle Hops Ted Nivison

[@paarthurwax2522]

Ned Chivison

[@quackkith]

yes

[@svbrother9949]

Bed givison

[@newpancakeman]

Schools: Man we’re totally gonna teach these children about stuff that won’t help them in real life at all Ted with a Green Screen: Hold my milk

[@lfjnjd0liffhahf530]

someone saw a cow's udder and was like "I'm gonna suck that: and so, milk was born

[@flambedread9532]

Correct

[@senritsujumpsuit6021]

Pffffft that's got to much since

[@abl9643]

Weird fuck: -sucks cow tiddy -gets diarrhea -does it again

[@elliephilly]

I firmly believe that Ted would actually be really good in a legitimate documentary. Like I would watch the heck out a show about him talking about the ancient Greeks

[@MedialyteAtlas]

You should’ve called the water mercenaries the “aqua marines”

[@joshh3159]

Kellburger he can’t change history

[@skinnypeed]

Yes. I love it.

[@knopfir]

LMAO

[@craptaincrap4919]

That’s literally just marines.

[@liamwoodfield]

It’s not like he can just change their name, that’s what they were called

[@pain-yu2lt]

"Big lights with no off switch" that is the worst hell

[@GregOdonel]

Until you said "Fredric Litterallyanazi" I believed all of this.

[@snowwhitessister2585]

Oh c’mon, you could’ve at least questioned at the Taj Mahal part?

[@transfemengimain]

He said everything was fake at the start, so I never believed him the whole time lol

[@jacobvt2317]

It was george washington that threw me off

[@legomeister6966]

Wait it’s not real

[@jennaandrews5355]

What are you talking about its all true

[@matchstick3991]

Damn, for a hot minute i was really thinking "Wow, Charles is such a beast"

[@sonte5050]

Everybody gangsta til milk portal is reopened

[@zzzpiral]

i’m seriously considering sending this to my science teacher and maybe even citing it in my essay

[@clankcc7410]

Zoe Requena DO IT I’m a bad person

[@thatonegaminggirl73]

Absolutely please do it and tell us how it went

[@travisscott6496]

You realize that this is all fake right? The video IS called the incorrect history of milk

[@ethanjhong2923]

@@travisscott6496 that's why its funny

[@kaz3369]

Why are you writing a history essay for your science teacher

[@infentex3801]

My teacher: You can make your presentations about anything you want! Ted: Anything?

[@chaoticgoodra]

This is my comfort video I come to whenever I'm sad. Genuinely one of my fav videos on the site

[@adrienfoisy9448]

As a Hamilton fan, I know all the histories and factually, Ted is correct.

[@kenzieelizabeth7558]

adrien foisy yes hercules mulligan 100% was involved in the milk war of 1775 and his your mom joke was inspired by the war.

[@HmmBird311]

This took me about 3 google searches and a robot cow to figure out this was all real

[@elmossy]

A lot of stuff in this video is surprisingly accurate. First few minutes anyway

[@Ashcrackz]

My mother walks in and she said “Is this your school work?” I said yes...

[@noot3316]

As would anyone else

[@horatio1316]

It most certainly is. He is our teacher.

[@jjd3hner544]

Extra curricular history

[@-geeko123]

Godspeed soldier

[@NotN4than_]

Im already taking notes

[@WenclairAddamOfficial]

0:42 the background is the glensheen mansion in Minnesota. My family used to go there all the time. I couldn’t even focus on what he was saying bc the background was so familiar then I realized that I was standing there 6 months ago. That’s all just a fun fact I guess.

[@bobsponge3462]

Ted sounds like he's narrating a comic, how can this man be so creative wtf.

[@jlaw442]

It's the milk

[@brannonolson417]

We got the same pfp

[@burcebanning]

It's not creative this is all true he's sharing facts

[@bobsponge3462]

@@brannonolson417 Ah yes a fellow Bob sponge

[@bobsponge3462]

@@burcebanning I meant the way he's narrating it's creative :v

[@adamdoyle1516]

If charles and big lion joined forces they could literally destroy the universe

[@erikschindler996]

The most ambitious crossover event in history

[@Miles-tm5op]

Hmmmm interesting

[@stormrunner1177]

Most likely event that would happen is that they’d work together until the very end, then B I G L I O N would consume Charles for his power

[@DiegoDominguez-oq4ny]

they are so fucking powerful...

[@spelunkingonion]

holy shit, its big lion

[@Comeck42]

Here’s the thing... Ted isn’t real. At least in our universe. He actually lives in an alternate timeline to ours and his videos are being leaked into our reality. Everything he said in this video is actually true in his universe but not ours.

[@awesomesthenry]

B U E N O ohhh that makes sense

[@joe.1008]

How can you prove that this didn’t happen in our universe? Were you there?

[@nuclear1307]

B U E N O how much do you know

[@sarojin.]

keep this on 420 likes and even though I know that won’t happen

[@michalmiroslavmendel3589]

or is it?

[@pentsy4486]

"You scared the sh*t out of me" *immediately subscribes*

[@facebreakergaming9001]

I’m gonna be honest, can we get more “the incorrect history of...” these are awesome!

[@polareximus]

It's as they say those who drink milk write history.

[@traze2963]

PolarEximus those who control the milk control the future

[@finn9401]

I’m lactose intolerant, but I still drink milk BECAUSE IM A MAN GODDAMMIT

[@somemagellanic]

maybe drink lactose free milk?

[@clarahaley6098]

Magellanic that’s the cowards way out

[@finn9401]

How dare you even propose such a ridiculous idea. Lactose free milk? What do I look like, some sort of moron? A fool? Some sort of clown?

[@somemagellanic]

idk it just sounded intuitive

[@defectivepikachu4582]

@@finn9401 youre not a clown, youre the entire circus

[@wumbr6467]

thanks man! from this ive gotten a full 9 on my History GCSE on the history of the dairy industry!! i love crash course

[@2saltyramen]

Ted Nivison teaches a robber about the history of Milk, with a green screen.

[@Benadryl.Barbarian]

No green screen, time travel and teleportation. Everything here is true

[@camilleon352]

Teds like the school funny guy and the school bully. And the teacher.. And the milkman

[@luraxium]

Ted is one. Ted is all. We are ted. Join us.

[@camilleon352]

luraxium I feel funny

[@amayahampton8810]

Someone say CRAM

[@platypusteeth]

I’m 99% sure he doesn’t have a script and is just thinking of things from the top of his head.

[@yashwantchoudhari2080]

Which part do you think scripted

[@radkouse1of1]

@@yashwantchoudhari2080 the lactose fact

[@amperjamz]

if i ever need to write an essay on the history of milk i will exclusively use this video as reference

[@lilliespancakes]

after 12 years ted has finally accomplished posting this video

[@itscat322]

frank

[@elmulmus]

@@itscat322 walter

[@lilliespancakes]

Gamer Cat off brand frank*

[@mytypamilkman]

I'm sorry but isn't this something I should be discussing

[@nextella1652]

Tell us your secrets!

[@rotary1742]

Where the is the other 98 percent milkman.

[@mytypamilkman]

@@rotary1742 in the cow

[@rotary1742]

@@mytypamilkman ah yes, I presume you're going to beg to not be eaten, and then use your chicken friends as a replacement.

[@rotary1742]

@@mytypamilkman you won't even let me eat on Sundays

[@romespeana5378]

Ted has the perfect personality of a high school version of bill nye, he should do that.

[@squish_the_stupid4320]

romespeana this is scary accurate and I need this to happen

[@wackyparsons8698]

romespeana FACTS

[@DarkBandit141]

10:10 should've shown a picture of Dwight from The Office.

[@willsprigg6652]

He talks with so much confidence i almost believed him

[@Davie1003]

Same

[@ratosphere]

@@Davie1003 Same

[@skurd721]

cool

[@LiamsClan]

I did until the pyramids

[@BattlePantaloons]

Ted: Fiji is shed water. Moses: Angrily sips

[@gilbert607]

I feel like Ted was “that” theatre kid

[@jameskylealboroto9714]

He is "that" theatre kid. It's a fact.

[@kortneybonham6255]

ted would be a great history teacher everything he says somehow makes sense

[@Sock757]

i can’t tell if he has a script or if he’s just makin shit up as he goes, but either way, i oddly enjoy it.

[@hotpikachu]

He's saying whatever came to him

[@noahsimulated6124]

cant script history dog

[@browncoconutman2399]

Seeing what Ted uploads is like flipping a coin and then getting snake eyes

[@doctordisco5814]

BrownCoconut man straight Yahtzee but also a touchdown?

[@PowerYoutuberViewer]

You got a 5 and a 1

[@Velvexic]

But...snake eyes is dice...

[@tomatocollector7961]

@Velvexic That’s the joke.

[@orangeman3220]

I wholeheartedly believed this until the corruption of the golden cow

[@haydenkmett9502]

Friedrich Litcheralyanazi