The Key to Seduction I Robert Greene

[@tracibloodworth]

I have always been amazed at how my sister is able to “work the room” at social events while I retreat to a corner. I once commented on how interesting she must be to everyone she meets. I’ll never forget her saying, “I’m not interesting! I simply ask people about themselves. They talk so then I don’t have to!”

[@sherethadaniels473]

Exactly!!!!

[@Michael-rm1bx]

I feel this so much! I really don’t like revealing personal information about me out of the blue unless i‘m asked. Since then i always ask people things i want to know about them and they just speak like there’s no tomorrow. The situations usually are not weird, i get to know people better and get to see how different they think, they feel heard, I can keep myself private, for me as an introvert a win in every way possible!

[@buck4yergold498]

Shut up

[@mat7083]

@@Michael-rm1bxAn extreme example of what an introvert can achieve

[@lycanravage]

​@@sherethadaniels473jajaja exactly what I was gonna to say

[@grey_f98]

Man rizzed his way into being the prime minister.

[@oedihamijok6504]

House of Cards Rizz

[@Selfcarewk]

Casually the best comment

[@OlaniyiOloyede]

Fr though 😂

[@tuckerbugeater]

The original Jeffrey Epstein

[@stealingbacktime590]

To emotionally manipulate an ugly woman who inherited power is deplorable. And now everybody does what Jews say because they stooped to such things. He was basically prostituted himself and then began pimping a nation.

[@rriver2668]

When you make people feel special you become unforgettable.

[@actopt]

negative, if u make someone feel special it will strengthen your relationship unless your associating with a narc or someone with a high ego

[@mrboy9309]

​@@actoptthat's why one must find a victim not anyone moving on streets

[@dr.hannibal8338]

@@actopthow do you know that someone’s ego is high

[@AbdulRehman-rd7xo]

But these days when you make someone feel special they think that they are celebrity and while you are NOTHING

[@Anonymous-wx8kk]

Same that's why I am 😵confused,what is it to feel others good? ​@@AbdulRehman-rd7xo

[@ErinDeNis]

My father taught me this as a teen. People only want to talk about themselves.

[@MisterSinister47]

I learned through people watching. It's my favorite pastime. I would say people are a little narcissistic deep down. But I think it's more along the lines that people really feel unseen and unheard. If you talk about them all night they feel like someone finally SEES them. They feel noticed and someone appreciates them. Once they start to feel that way, they become butter in your hands.

[@ErinDeNis]

@@MisterSinister47 You make very good points. They just want to feel heard.

[@mickeytete9036]

​@@MisterSinister47 narcissistic in what sense?

[@nishthagupta1357]

Wow okay got it

[@not-even-german4892]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Fox1nDen]

People forget what you do and say but they remember how you made them feel.

[@MichaelWaisJr]

I remember the people who made me feel butterflies in my stomach and who made me feel all tingly down there lol

[@actopt]

@@MichaelWaisJr i only had butterflies once

[@ThreeWishes777]

I remember only one woman that made me feel at ease in her presence.

[@MichaelWaisJr]

@@beags9995😂

[@diegosaur]

That's Maya Angelou, imposter!

[@Ciclopea2]

I like the concept of making people feel interesting instead of important, treat them like a celebrity and they'll treat you like just one of their fans.

[@LunaFlare88]

Brilliant

[@Ciclopea2]

@@jimmythe-gent if you're pointing out actual facts about a person i don't see it as prejudice, it's a description.

[@jimmythe-gent]

@@Ciclopea2 yeah, agreed. I wonder what kind of policies he enacted when he was PM, Like, what direction he wanted the country to move in.

[@Ciclopea2]

@@jimmythe-gent i might be wrong, but being a deceiver he probably was serving his own interest under the disguise of helping the country.

[@HumilityListens]

​@@jimmythe-gentno its a literal fact. They are brilliant conmen. They are the best in the world at fooling and decieving. They have high verbal aptitude which gives them great leverage over others.

[@donnytheghost]

“ he could seduce the birds out of the trees” lol 😂 hilarious Robert!

[@emmarose9466]

😂😂

[@MS-ns4ki]

The lamp posts 😂 as well

[@aumiausazzad3485]

🤣😁

[@Haze_Loto]

Like a Disney princess? 😂

[@trailersclub6227]

Understand the context, not words

[@melodypaz7247]

As an introverted military brat, I learned to ask FORM questions in order to quickly make friends to play with and to eat lunch with. "F" stands for friends/ family/ function. "O" stands for occupation/ observations/ obsessions. "R" stands for recreation/ relationships/ region/ religion. "M" stands for movies/ motivations/ memories/ message. Remembering F.O.R.M. helps me get over the awkwardness of talking to new people. Now if I could just remember people's names more easily. :0)

[@johnhein2539]

Thanks, this sounds like great advice! I always heard of what NOT to talk about: Religion Abortion Politics Economics all spelling an acronym of a 5th thing not to talk about... But I'd say finance has become fair game for small talk recently, but the rest are for deeper relationships. I prefer your advice on what concretely TO say

[@innatecharisma]

I like that. I'm using that thanks!

[@PrimordialAngels]

Something that I found helps me remember people's names is if you can associate their name with something/someone you care about! So basically, if they share the same name as an actor or a character that you like, just in your mind associate your new friend with the actor/character! It helps me out a lot. If their name is super unique though, I havnt found a trick for that just yet haha!

[@josedavid8255]

I like that.

[@danpulley9488]

That's super useful!

[@darkskinwhite]

notice he didnt say "tell them they're special" he said make them *FEEL* special if you think I'm just kissing your ass you feel like I'm trying to swindle you, that's not accomplishing the goal. that's why theres an art to it.

[@HorseEngine999]

Most people think they're special nowadays. Pretty easy to just shutup and let others talk while listening.

[@yaboiavery5986]

yeah but how do you actually learn the art to making people feel good about themselves like this?

[@HorseEngine999]

@@yaboiavery5986 Use awkward silence to your advantage. Give compliments, show appreciation and thanks, make it seem as if you will stick around for a long while together by pointing anything mutuals and shared stuff.

[@christinabrown8479]

@@yaboiavery5986 it’s definitely an art. The secret: you actually have to believe they’re special. No games or tricks.

[@subparticle8995]

​@@HorseEngine999 absolutely awful advice. Long silences only work when the mood is already set perfectly, and still it's not very helpful, keeping content, even if completely meaningless, rolling off your tongue is much better. Trying to prove you are long term also == provider frame, in the bag, easy, too available, not smash worthy. Keeping it ambiguous keeps thee other person on edge, more curious.

[@starkid77]

This is great to a point. If it's always like this and non reciprocal, it can be draining, boring and downright unfair.

[@lulubemash7870]

Absolutely-unless you’re a user then it’s ok to a point if not then it has to be reciprocated 😊

[@musicsdarkangel]

This is one of the points from “How to Win Friends and Influence People”

[@josephnarduci8257]

machiavelli said beware of flaterers

[@lexaneli]

It's called love bombing.

[@anonimo5912]

"Beware of flath earthers..."

[@_._.4]

Unless they are genuine then it is love. Flattery is conditional with self serving agendas.

[@MisterSinister47]

Because he knew what someone was doing when they flatter you constantly. He was fully aware of how human beings feel so self-important and how flatter can cloud ones judgement.

[@radioog6945]

Amen

[@only2genders.exist.]

The most realistic thing spoken in history!

[@searchwikipediafallacy5567]

Does seducing mean lying?

[@aleksabajic2221]

​@@searchwikipediafallacy5567 unfortunatly, YES. I mean I tried to look from other angles... but it all comes down to being mysterious and talking sweet. But its NOT JUST THAT. Its much deeper and its not place here hahah

[@kindbeast6974]

​@@searchwikipediafallacy5567 you can lie while seducing or you can be honest, seducing is similar to attracting

[@richardw3347]

@@searchwikipediafallacy5567 not always, I think its persuading someone in an enticing way. ones intent behind it is another story. lol karma is a thing so I watch myself.

[@wills3835]

​@searchwikipediafallacy5567 no, it need not. In fact, I bet Greene would argue the best seduction involves genuine interest and honest evaluation of the other.

[@heyli7]

The main thing is giving a bit of vulnerability of yourself to get someone to feel relatable. Then ask questions that are uncommon but makes the other feel seen and of course do this with eye contact. They will then feel a sort of connection with you. ❤

[@bardock9767]

Sorry but can u give an example.😢

[@elynec]

I met a man like this once. It was incredible... i floated afterwards! My confidence went through the roof, never experienced anything like that before or since. I felt like i was literally shining; but i would have to say for this to work, you also have to give little drops of information about what you've achieved/what a strong spine you have, while making the other person feel seen. It won't work if you do not show some status at the same time. Making people feel seen, while you do not end up looking weak or being friendzoned, is only possible if you are sure of what you stand for and you have complete trust in yourself. You can't "manipulate" anyone in a good way if you also do not have the ability to manipulate them in a bad way. It's knowing that you have the upperhand and from there choosing how to use it.

[@mindful-accountability]

Agreed and you also need to have short term intentions because this is not sustainable… eventually the woman will feel like you don’t care about her. A lot of his strategies are short term and goal oriented.

[@elynec]

@@mindful-accountability very true!

[@RevealedFilms]

@@elynecworks to get the panties to the side. Goal achieved

[@Andy_Mark]

That's so true. I'm in sales, and if I have to slow walk someone, It's all about learning what it is they are proud of and then letting them stroke that ego.

[@sirraldnus8590]

Basically feed their ego and you have them

[@ashbrah9195]

@Robert Greene - You are SO right! I've been studying narcissism for about 6 years now (I was in a relationship with a malignant Narcissist with NPD for 8 years) & I've not heard anyone talk about this point in much detail but, THIS is WHY they are able to hook people like they do. Especially, those of us who may have some self-esteem issues. It's hard to give up something (or someone) that validates our worth when we aren't able to see it for ourselves easily. The "feeling" of being fully accepted & admired is very addicting! Thank you for pointing this out.

[@maishayartonahi]

How well written. Loved this. Now I get the whole point. This is awesome! ❤️

[@not-even-german4892]

@AshBrah 8 years gone. Never le anyone steal your precious time again!!!!!

[@ashbrah9195]

@@not-even-german4892 Thank you so much! Sometimes it really bothers me that Ive wasted SO many years but my intentions were pure. Thank you for the encouragement!

[@girlsaturn8621]

If someone is able to love bomb you/overly flatter you, then you are a narcissist as well

[@wolfgang2090]

Please do not conflate a personality disorder with normal human nature, this is why things get stigmatized

[@rudygracia5573]

As i've heard said(paraphrasing)"One of the sweetest things a person will ever hear is the sound of a person calling THEIR name".I've been entertaining in Nursing homes for the past 15+years.Along with playing music,I make it a point to let THEM have the floor too.Tell me THEIR stories,and I just shut up and listen,i'm all ears.

[@Ash_Aszhari]

All those saying this is how a narcissist works. Yes, there are some narcissists who use this to get what they want and control others. But it's important to note that not all people who are charming and seductive, are narcissists. And that not all who are narcissists, do operate in this manner.

[@martymarl4602]

It's the exact opposite. Narcs like to talk only of themselves...the hate to listen to other people's stories. It bores them to death. A narc could never have this skill. They can fake it for very short periods, if you go on too long, you'll see the blood drain from their face and they start talking about how "the same thing happened to me". They are easily flattered of course.

[@Damesanglante]

Narcissism is an illness that have very light studies about them. Because real narcissists would nevwr go see a psychologist or therapist. Most internet people talking about narcissism are usually bitter about a breakup/loss or angry, they label them narcissists to cope and feel like they were the good person.

[@martymarl4602]

@@Damesanglante Exactly what a Narc would say, lol

[@Stole_my_n1ck]

​@@Damesanglante, finally someone said this, thank you!

[@summerbreeze5360]

Its interesting😅you kind of proved the point. People throw around the word and the percentage of real narcissists is tiny. Funny how you've all met and been close to one and how this guy who commented may now be one because he doesn't give in to the hype. ​@@martymarl4602

[@artbabyjade]

I’ve noticed men rarely ask reciprocal questions on dates. This would be an easy adjustment to make improvements

[@losmit2194]

What do you mean?

[@mimimi9326]

if he cares he’ll ask. But i believe women should be the one asking the questions for first few date. To learn about the person.

[@artbabyjade]

@@losmit2194 I mean if you are trying to seduce a woman, you should act interested in her. Men are always trying to have sex with us but many are missing this key part of seduction. Reciprocal questions take zero effort because the other person has already created the prompt.

[@ryanzooks]

@@mimimi9326 I believe she was referring to how sometimes people just answer a question and don’t ask that question back, it can feel like totally 1 sided conversation or even an interview and not an engaging conversation at all. I am 20 year old male and 2 of my girlfriends would commonly make comments about how i did that - definitely something i’m working on. Seems to be more common with Males but like anything certainly isn’t exclusive to.

[@andreg3861]

​@@mimimi9326 who?

[@cavendermary3954]

When you get someone to talk themselves, it's better than reading a book, be ause you can ask them questions you can't a book! Besides the talk has the highest motivation and costs nothing!! It's like a free lecture!!!❤😂😊

[@bertrandbeaumont1998]

It's true, it works, but only in the beginning. After awhile it gets boring. But you could still do it from time to time. The key is how gou conversate, men typically are more straight to the point, fact based and focused more on things than people. Womens conversation is like a dance, detailed, more people oriented and about feelings. Try to balance it out so you both enjoy the conversation and it doesn't become exhausting, or boring.

[@stanktech]

48 laws of power is such a good read!

[@jeraldbaxter3532]

Years ago, I read a book titled, "A Book of Courtesans and a List of Their Virtues;" which was, obviously, about famous, and successful courtesans from history and it stated that many of the women were NOT extremely beautiful (and photos from the late 1800s and early 1900s substantiate this), but ALL of them were extremely charming and the most important part of charm is focusing on the other person.

[@Jgp4xzdmqnmil]

Im not intetested in being a whore even a wealthy one.

[@cynthiasparkschannel7797]

Yes, but some people can sniff this right out of you what you’re trying to do… I prefer to be genuine and give honest compliments and questions to the other person… Smart people in power have seen it all and they can sniff out what you’re trying to do… Be genuine, care about the other person, genuinely, and you will go far.

[@cynthiasparkschannel7797]

And luckily, for me, I have a natural sense of curiosity for the other… You have to build that muscle… You need to be curious… You need to want to know just to know… There’s been times in my life I have been near or close or working with people in power, a.k.a. millionaires, and they all seem to really like me. They all have wanted to give me opportunities.

[@cynthiasparkschannel7797]

Maybe I’m just not a good faker, but I’m doing what works for me and my personality… most People value genuinity, especially in the world we live in today… False perceptions left and right of how people are, how people live, down to even how people look like on social media. In today’s world if you’re truly genuine, you’re the one who stands out.

[@untame601]

Facts I know I’m the type that will sense it fast

[@VanillaButtercreamFrosting]

Exactly.

[@thebeatmajors_yt]

Y'all weird 😂

[@goodetodd5731]

Make people feel like, they are more , then what they actually are , they will do anything for you .

[@gjinkalla23]

💯

[@TheAlchemist1089]

This is good for them too. Increases their self esteem

[@2314KenKen]

​@TheAlchemist1089 false self esteem.

[@dami8483]

​@@2314KenKenfake it till you make it G

[@actopt]

negative

[@MisterSinister47]

It's true. This proves how self-important people really feel they are.

[@shinefia5987]

Only works for somebody that doesn’t know how to do this. A guy tried to do this to me and I feel interrogated. I want to ask him questions not him asking me!

[@lonamo0740]

Thank you Robert for this and for endless favours of pouring beautifully your amazing work out here.

[@ShimmerBodyCream]

Men listening to women is very effective. So few of us do listen to each other, it's definitely a skillset worth honing.

[@jkashdamoneyman5870]

To be fair, the USA listened to talk 20-30 years ago when y’all was defending trannys strutting around as women, now look at things. Not all women give effective solutions

[@Jdub0126]

Maybe if you had something good to say LOL

[@NomadUrpagi]

​@@Jdub0126lmao hahahaha

[@soul5788]

If you were cuter than maybe I would

[@hometownhero2500]

It’s called waiting to get head

[@QuintenWallace]

I knew this before the book. It’s just extremely exhausting stroking egos

[@SouthernLocks]

How to Win Friends and Influence People

[@jamesadamgleason9471]

I think I remember Marilyn Manson read this and thats how he seduced his band mates

[@pixelcultmedia4252]

All these wannabe gurus steal shit from the same places.

[@SR77736]

​@@pixelcultmedia4252yet you're here

[@MuhammadaliAnsari-l1o]

If you are reading this Robert (Hopefully), I wish you wrote on every psychological subject in the universe. Your books changed my life for good and I could not get enough. Also, I wish I could pay you back in some way for the good you did.

[@HoaPham-vf5uq]

That won't work on introverts, I think. You want to know too much about me, it's time to separate😔😔😔. Honestly, they want you to stop right after u dive into personal stuffs.

[@cevonnegut1894]

I agree with you on this one haha

[@DanniBby]

Right lol we don’t even know how to answer “tell me about yourself” questions

[@XxSeVenmaRkxX]

Tact will win an introvert. You can still seduce without going deep

[@alanjohnson3693]

Work on urself read How to win friends and influence people

[@losmit2194]

Time to separate why??

[@goodetodd5731]

Two people in this world , I believe you can never manipulate, a loner and Artist.

[@ronitkumarsingh2133]

Why though ? Care to explain ?

[@RobRuffMusic]

Artists ARE loners.. Lol

[@mol4805]

Yes I was gonna say, I’m both

[@Suckafreevibes]

@@ronitkumarsingh2133 loners/artist spend a lot of time alone.. solitude/isolation builds a stronger intuition. Energy felt by others becomes more powerful. If you want to build a stronger intuition.. get a lone for a while. Go in hermit mode.

[@ronitkumarsingh2133]

@@Suckafreevibes actually you are right. These lockdowns I was alone, for quite a while, and now I can sense the energy or aura or something around a person. That might be the intuition you're talking about

[@mashoundath]

That is how I get people flocking around me. People feel glued to me. I like to make people around me feel great of themselves. Thanks for approving that skill I got✌️💕💕

[@vijayvijay4123]

​@Saqib Khan How? You mean he prohibited seducing or making others feel special? Pray tell

[@sileniu]

​@Saqib Khan ? This is not a religious prophesy, go and talk about prophets at mosque, please.

[@Sadam7even]

​@Saqib Khan why do u mean and what did he fefuse

[@incogb6696]

@@sileniu No, I want to know.

[@incogb6696]

@Saqib Khan Please share it’s very interesting😉 I feel like us Muslims at least in my culture are privy to this

[@TrentSmithJangoStudios]

If I think about myself it's boring. When I think about sharing life experiences it's very enlightening and knowledgeable.

[@goranvuletic8873]

When it comes to dating, it may work just slightly, but unless you are physically attractive to the other person, no game will change that.

[@yunggpacino]

Luckily as men our looks are secondary to our brilliance,charisma and ability to make money.

[@O4C209]

"Talk to a narcissist about themselves, and they will listen for hours." Fixed it.

[@johncronin5311]

You got that right

[@picklerick8741]

I wanna see Robert Greene demonstrating some of the lessons from his book just to see if they really work

[@frog6054]

Well the fact that he had a relatively good amount of success while looking like a zombie makes him a good seducer, no?

[@Fahad-369]

About to secure my classmate tomorrow. Gotta study now.

[@simonehejazi2304]

It’s useful only if you want something from that person, or you aiming at a political gain . imagine dating or living with someone who only speak about themselves and doesn’t care about you, it’s soul crushing

[@sunmont1461]

I love “interview” people…they are fascinating.

[@tspark1071]

Seducing people is making them feel special and brilliant

[@amberts180]

This is true for most. We all want to share and somehow feel like we’re learning.

[@robertlafountaine9108]

I did this with a woman 40 years younger but without the intent of developing a relationship due to the obvious age difference. She actually wanted to take it further but when I realized what had happened I reluctantly backed off.

[@Bozojimmy]

What did you say to her

[@hadihrekespercussions5512]

commenting to see what did he said to her 🧐

[@kanalprobny1927]

And then you woke up

[@lexaneli]

That's why one's flattery or words don't mean anything or someone just being nice. They're being nice, kind nothing more. Never read anything more into anything with anyone untill both of you had that conversation about having a relationship. Too many people assume they are with someone or the other likes them more than a friend simply because they were just being nice and a gentleman.

[@ladythmilin]

​​@@lexaneli not true. What happens if all that niceness is happening for 20 hrs a week at 1 am and you talk about intimate topics in detail? Flattery and flirting can be misused to manipulate others to get benefits -- and cross a line of ethics after a point. Those with this talent can use it simply to gather ego energy, or to get others to do things for them, all the time not meaning anything and fully knowing the other might grow feelings or attached. The art is in not only charming, but doing so respectfully, and ethically. That's what separates the narcissists and power mongers from the rest.

[@JoanBarrington-e9s]

Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours. After sitting with a man for hours I am convinced he is one of the most brilliant man I've ever come across.

[@drms-liberation]

pretty much having a solid foundation of who you truly are would make you less likely be seduced by anyone

[@spanishflyevh9606]

Until someone comes along and strokes that ego up and gets into your head. Then they have the ability to tear you down. If you are always guarded you will eventually be cold towards people. Slippery slope.

[@harrycampbell7594]

not really lol , having control over your ego and emotions dont result in you being cold , being egotistical is becoming cold@@spanishflyevh9606

[@dj_instruments937]

Not really how seduction works I gather

[@millennialmindsethub]

This is so interesting, some people are self obsessed and difficult to talk to. This is the polar opposite and explains a lot!

[@rarecpus]

It’s weird because automatically hate it when people do it to me. I immediately become suspicious even though it could be genuine

[@nadageorgi7819]

Happy new year sir Robert Green.

[@laleagosset1014]

Prayer is the key of the morning in lock of the night 😂

[@slowonNurburgring]

Agree, when my friend talks about my strength, I remember that line the most

[@brandycarter9946]

Exactly what did the other guy mean when he said "Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours"? Does that mean you reveal what you've observed about him and tell him? I can't imagine me creating hours of interest with that. Or does one create conversation about what's important to him? Need more info please?

[@showtimemyles9643]

Ask someone questions about themselves. Make them the focus of the conversation, be fascinated by their world and try and dive into it and you’ll see they can go on and on and their eyes light up with excitement

[@milflover6969]

People love hearing about themselves. You learn information and give them your analysis while sort of praising them. Everyone loves that type of ego boost

[@anabellepreis1920]

@brandy- how is that not clear?? 🤦‍♀️ Obviously it means ask questions about him and his life, show interest in him and he will feel great. This applies to women and men, except most women don't need to be asked, they will talk nonsense in circles, even if you couldn't care less or she's boring.

[@la912]

The fascinating and intriguing things about his life, not his defects and failures

[@Drety6]

Bother reading what he's written and you'll have a clue

[@Repomidnight]

This is profound stuff. Very true. Never knew this about Disraeli.

[@stintza]

That’s crazy because I absolutely loathe talking about myself. Can listen to someone talk about themselves or their life for literally hours, but can’t (or struggle) talking about myself for even a few minutes.

[@jeanwiler3719]

Same here! Dont like talking about myself and i hate it even more when others talk about me!

[@kiramiftari9486]

A mystery to me as well lol

[@darlingsep6348]

Same, even some people assume I have trust issues

[@dj_instruments937]

Haven't met the right seducer. It's an art for a reason.

[@rickford2697]

Where are you self-esteem from 1 to 10?

[@harshhingu3082]

This is a great piece of advice.

[@AWholeVibe96]

WOW! I’ve been realizing that I have a kink for doing this with men. It’s heightened a lot since I stopped dating or having sex. However, it’s always genuine because I don’t waste time “seducing” men that don’t see their own worth. It’s such a strange thing. And I don’t even want anything for it. Mainly just to see them be the best version of themselves.

[@vetiarvind]

Thank you for this advice.

[@RobRuffMusic]

A loving heart does more to win people over than any manipulative behavior.

[@user_f1]

​@Sae how is it the same thing? There's a difference if your compliments are genuine or simply aimed at influencing the person to like you

[@nighfmhff]

@Sae women ☕

[@richardw3347]

@saehisaya some people are honest. your intent and energy behind things plays a role and returns in like kind.

[@losmit2194]

@@user_f1 Thats Simping

[@losmit2194]

@saehisaya Whats manipulating?

[@benjamincarnes9117]

I learned quickly that I’d talk about myself to much. Especially on dates. Part of it was seeking validation. Another reason was because I grew up in an environment where everyone liked to talk and trade stories and experiences. I never thought of it as a bad thing or an ego thing I just saw it as conversing. I want to hear your stories and life experiences and I like to share mine as well to find common ground and similarities. Sadly as it turns out a lot of people aren’t very good storytellers or articulate lol. With that being the case it would quickly turn into me doing most of the talking and then listening. Some enjoyed it others were disheartened by it. Because of that I make it a habit of encouraging others to talk about themselves and tell their stories. I love a good story. I also thoroughly enjoy trading stories and building connections. It’s an art I’m afraid that is lost in these recent generations. Every now and then you find a gem though. I was at a Flogging Molly concert the beginning of this year and one of the security was this gorgeous blue eyed blond. The second I laid eyes on her I knew I was gonna get her number. Low and behold I did. Took her on a date the next day at a lovely little sushi spot that I have great connections with. On top of that they had live music in the area. Everything in my favor. She loved my witty goofy humor and stories. I’d say I did about 80% of the talking. At the end of the date she took me back to her place and the rest is history…

[@linafalvo699]

So true. A man loves, loves to talk about himself.

[@youngmonaco2039]

Sad but true. People either want to talk about themselves or tell you what to do. Not much in between.

[@bagpakpark7097]

Use their ego against them. Works 99.999999999 percent of the time. Very few people actually pay attention to details about another

[@yallmad3043]

Give an example of using their ego against then

[@losmit2194]

What do you mean?

[@gjinkalla23]

Make him&her feel very important to you...than ghost him&her to make feel unworthy! Make them believe you are interested in their hobbies and than try to make them feel bad and degrade their interest. Make them feel like they are talented and than compere them to someone better than them...is always triggering people to never ever feel good enough no matter what! Narcissistic abuse 101 took me 5 years to learn the devil's playbook. Play with the way they see themselves...little by little until they hate themselves and are blinded by mixed feeling rather than reality!

[@maximusneal2642]

The greatest charmer ever lived 👌🏾

[@janetpaguilar5086]

That’s true there is nothing wrong to lifting up people it feels good to bring that kind of awareness to someone the downside about that some people will turn around and degrade you 😢when it goes to their heads. But most are humble.

[@veehussain9696]

I do that and people think I’m a people pleaser

[@laleagosset1014]

The end is the best 😂

[@NoraBhsas]

I just realized I have the book on my shelf and I only read a few pages of the book, time to start reading again then

[@fayeek_]

Thank you Robert.

[@renaissance17]

You have to swallow your ego to be happy, proud, and complimentary of someone else. Most people don't do it because they'd rather posture themselves as superior, or, they just don't want that person to fall in love with them.

[@eddiew2325]

will u marry me

[@Britbrat31172]

Love that last line… that’s the power of a true leader

[@simplymovingon]

Just be aware of using this tactic on people that eventually people will find out your interest isn’t authentic and you’ll end up with a lot of enemies!!

[@lkade7375]

😂😂😂😂😂 True! Many people bought the books and would try it on one another. Charm and counter-charm.

[@JuniorJuni070]

@@lkade7375if you need a book to teach you basic human communication skills then you the problem just like my poor grammar

[@HOVNA]

This "tactic" is just being a good conversationalist. How would one even realise it isn't authentic? Someone made you feel heard and seen and then he doesn't remember something so you put him in the enemy category? That sounds like a "them" problem

[@benjiusofficial]

idk, I *hate* talking about me. I especially hate 'compliments' about my physicality (I train alot). I would rather talk about things and ideas. The ideas a person subscribes to tells alot about who they are.

[@MaoyunXiaohuoziniao]

Doesn’t really work on my friend. He become a lot more suspicious of someone who does this. Another person I know who is similar is another man who doesn’t like anyone says anything good about him that make him happy. He put his guard up when people do it. He even tell his friend to guard it for him. He says it harms his heart. Disturb his peaceful mind.

[@reck_er5003]

Of course that comes along with the realization that every man who does something has a purpose. And so do I it hardly works on me because I realize these things. So yes, if someone knows this concept and understands it, it would not work for him. But the point of this knowledge is to understand a fundamental that always exists it just may not work with everyone.

[@Anw4rr10r]

I think it only works with women

[@XxSeVenmaRkxX]

There’s two ways of doing it. You can’t interrogate that’s very suspicious. But you can be a curious charismatic, which is entirely a different way of approaching the situation

[@republiccan7138]

"When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear." Thomas Sowell

[@cindihunter9119]

I've not heard this whole podcast and want to learn more. There are plenty of seducers already, and they aren't real at all... Their only interest is themselves.

[@amitshah42]

Robert the GOAT

[@sr.rodriguez4816]

But they don't necessarily like that. Some women think a man is trying to hard or seduce her by making em feel they are brilliant. They end up being with a men who ignore her or even make em feel bad

[@losmit2194]

I see zero lies all facts!!

[@noemie1873]

no WE just want masculine energy and a yes man IS not masculine. you confuse kind man and yes man

[@sr.rodriguez4816]

@@noemie1873 what exactly is your definition of a ''yes man'' and ''masculine energy''?

[@HOVNA]

The whole point of this story is that he obviously wasn't doing it the shitty way since he was so good at it. I swear half these comments imagine some sleazy liar as if that would work so well for him. It mush have been genuine

[@kevindanielpg]

Great concept🎉

[@TheNinnyfee]

He is so right.

[@brirocks]

My all-time favorite quote is from Disraeli: "We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence and its only end". His quote was the inspiration for the book "Born For Love: Reflections On Loving" by Dr. Leo Buscaglia.

[@KIMOZz123]

Love these stories ty

[@3beamdreams]

That’s always been my game plan on dinner dates 😂 never say too much and let the woman talk throughout the whole night

[@fictionaddiction4706]

I hate it when people do that tbh. Guys or girls, who are sparse with words, or talk too much. The first type I'm trying to fill the silence and feeling exhausted as they get to sit and look cool. It would be different if they actually got anything from the conversation, but some people seem to equate silence to listening. They come off as flat. The second type, is too in love with themselves, only they are worth listening to. In conclusion. Make an effort and reciprocate and listen too. If someone can't accept you for being exactly who you are... then good. You weeded them out.

[@laquerisma]

​@@fictionaddiction4706 I feel same way. A good conversation engages both people. Inquiries should come from both sides if you truly want to know the other person. If you don't want to participate in the conversation, why bother?

[@ladythmilin]

Unattractive:)

[@wonderfullife737]

@@fictionaddiction4706f a guy is real charmer, he would be observing her not just listening so that he can say the right words which can have effect on her. If she seemed annoyed that she has to do all the talking, than it’s not working. Real seducer/charmer works according to her reaction, not blindly following anything.

[@actopt]

thats how u get ghosted

[@bimenyimanadav]

The power and art of giving value to others

[@stevene6181]

He wasn’t that “dark skinned” his family was from central Italy

[@user-ee1fn4vt8b]

Back then italians were considered dark. Where do you think "tall, dark, and handsome" comes from?

[@bggjjhljk]

they mean 'tanner' since british are pastey white

[@HumilityListens]

British pastry crumpet​@@bggjjhljk

[@killemall69]

The moops !

[@sagdisatt]

“Swarthy”

[@user.dj3wiq7cnr]

This is why I prefer to spend time alone. Everyone care themselves

[@kathykonkle1097]

Yes, my narcissist boyfriend stayed with me for 22 years because I did this. He destroyed my self esteem bit by bit. NEVER again will I fake that kind of interest just to keep a man interested. NOT WORTH IT. Be yourself and be real. it's better to be alone than to be with someone that makes you feel alone.

[@Poonannyish]

You faked being interested in him for 22 years and you never once thought that it might be somewhat your fault that the relationship broke down? People want their life partners to show interest in them generally, a passionate, lasting interest. In who they are and what they do. Faking it for that long for convenience is weird ngl

[@FestiFesti31]

did he make you feel happy though?

[@summerbreeze5360]

😂why is that word being thrown into every failed relationship or just asshole behaviors these days.

[@SimonLab]

People don't want to talk about themselves specifically. The want to relate and feel relatable. And the single most relatable thing to you is yourself.

[@Opineify]

Robert could seduce the birds out of the trees. He is The Rake!

[@10Million_D]

I learned this in a book called “people skills” people only wanna talk about themselves and the minute you start talking about yourself they really don’t wanna listen lol

[@ErinThePsychicWitch]

This is why people love astrology.

[@FirstNameLastName-sy2jq]

what does astrology have anything to do with this

[@dharma6525]

​@@FirstNameLastName-sy2jq shes absolutely right. Astrology is ego boost on astral level I fell in thos trap myself

[@FirstNameLastName-sy2jq]

@@dharma6525 i understand how different zodiac types view and embody and celebrate love, however what robert greene is talking about is seduction. seduction is a deeply rooted characteristic in human nature no matter what sign you are. it’s quite different from astrology

[@dharma6525]

@@FirstNameLastName-sy2jq what i mean is: astrology IS seducing because it basically "tells a lot about yourself" - which is similar as if someone was trying to flatter you with all these "aries have a short tempered" which can excuse one's poor human behaviour by making it justified by the stars . Asyrology IS narcissism - ALTHOUGH i agree it can at least make you question what you do and who you are - but this has nothing to do with the hour of your birth . Astrology limits your horizon by telling you nice things about your so called "character" just like a seducer would 😊 Hope im understandable enough, english not my language

[@ossiespencer4982]

Great words.

[@ajay0841]

The entire premise is so shaky. It borders in bullshit

[@hcasimir801]

This is golden 💎

[@mR-dc4oq]

Sounds like how a narcissist does his work.

[@ThePsychicFish]

I believe that intention is what matters. Using this notion to use the other person I believe is immoral. But doing so in a balanced manner and with genuine intentions is fine I would say.

[@lexaneli]

Exactly. Enamour and disarm you to get you where they want and then after a while you would see who they really are but by then you are already emotionally and mentally attached or connected to them

[@Shinners124]

@@ThePsychicFish 100% I remember being naive thinking if narcissists do it I don’t want to be a part of it. Since then I’ve discovered who I am and know my intentions are good and for the MUTUAL benefit for the other party and myself

[@Revo15Official]

@@Shinners124 regardless if u ever end up using these techniques or not, just being aware of them to avoid others who use them against us is enough on its own

[@michelealexander9900]

...So you met my brother, and Laurent Demarchanté from Versellies.

[@hmonsta1189]

Definitely like that, I will be using that.

[@hello.9628]

I’m not a seducer but I do this to strangers looking for someone to talk to online when I’m bored and they’d talk about themselves for hours and in long paragraphs forgetting communication is a two way street. When I’m tired of playing “the interviewer” I just stop then they’ll notice and try to ask questions after talking only about themself FOR HOURS but I won’t reply anymore lol.

[@DanniBby]

You’re judging them for finally feeling they get to express themselves

[@fran791]

Maybe they had things bottled up, don't play with people like that

[@DanniBby]

@@fran791 yes exactly, people looking at it as selfish are only seeing a surface level and not how that could have been the only time they got to express themselves without fear of consequences or that someone took an interest in them

[@hello.9628]

@@DanniBby nah conversation is a two way street. This is why these people resort online cause they have poor communication skills thats why they post and post for years and never get a decent convo not realizing they’re the problem. I’m not putting up with that crap. Edit: I see a lot of these men posting the same thing for 2-4 years looking for someone to talk to. Only their age change LOL.

[@hello.9628]

@@DanniBby i don’t put up with low quality convo if you do then good for you lol. And you shouldn’t be looking for people online if you get hurt and attached easily to people you’ve only talked to for a few minutes lol.

[@gloriavis]

How could i forget how much i loved him