The Ladies' Man Trope, Explained

[@thetake]

The first 1,000 people to use this link will get a 2 month free trial of Skillshare Premium Membership: skl.sh/thetake77 Support The Take on Patreon: www.patreon.com/thetake Subscribe to keep up with our latest videos, and let us know what you want to see next!

[@trinaq]

Please cover the "Bumbling Dad" stereotype at some point! 😻

[@angierose1428]

The girl and boy duo

[@Daniel-tx2vt]

Trina Q yeah they should do it.

[@TheSwordfish009]

lol... every male archetype is considered male toxicity. Every female archetype is considered a product of what toxic men want. Jealous and bitter much? The female voice-over probably is fucking a ladies man right now. stfu

[@marianap.5054]

Shrek videos!

[@WolfShadowmancer]

One thing I find disturbing about this trope (among the obvious) is the resolution. If all it takes to change a man is the "right woman," what does that say about men? Or the women who are trying to "change" them? It's an insidious, careful lie, one that encourages men to seek healing and fulfillment from an external source, and that condones women staying in destructive relationships in an effort to cure their partner of his bad behavior. And when that inevitably fails, rather than seeing men's insecurities and personal character defects as the source of their problem and encouraging men to fix them, it can end up placing the blame on women for not being the right one, saying the right things, etc. Of all the bad things the "Ladies' Man" trope teaches, I think this is perhaps the worst since it's so hard to see and so infrequently called out.

[@worm193]

this comment should be higher

[@iampomegranates]

That's one of the great things about Mad Men. It's "cure" for the ladies man had to do with him gaining introspection and self acceptance and he wasn't even with anyone.

[@MonicaMutale1]

"It's an insidious, careful lie, one that encourages men to seek healing and fulfillment from an external source, and that condones women staying in destructive relationships in an effort to cure their partner of his bad behavior. And when that inevitably fails, rather than seeing men's insecurities and personal character defects as the source of their problem and encouraging men to fix them, it can end up placing the blame on women for not being the right one, saying the right things, etc." < ---- this right here

[@Peecamarke]

👏 👏 👏 👏

[@baebanxx6942]

Kenneth David Murdock say that!!

[@elliequent02]

it's important to note that even though these men can be reformed by a monogamous relationship does not mean that it is a woman's responsibility to be this for one. that sort of thinking can lead to being stuck in a toxic relationship with a leech-like, manipulative boyfriend who pleas with you not to leave because you "make him a better version of himself".

[@elenapopovic2527]

THIS!

[@franziska9260]

YES! I've had friends who try to be that girl for shitty guys, and it never ends well!

[@Peecamarke]

EXACTLY!

[@npproctor13]

That is why I think poor examples of this trope use the “right woman” as excuse to reform him, whereas good examples use his reformation as a way to help him find her, if that makes sense.

[@messinalyle4030]

I think that the main thing that this video gets wrong in the first place is that a monogamous relationship can necessarily "fix" anybody. The only way anybody can be fixed is to deal with their shit. Also, there are plenty of people who practice polyamory in a healthy way, with the informed consent of everyone involved. Finding "the one" isn't the end-all be-all.

[@jaycee9968]

I love these “trope” videos

[@trinaq]

Seconded, my absolute favourite video series of theirs! 💕

[@julianleft4662]

Yeah. Absolute nonsense most of them.

[@btrixlestrange]

Me too!!

[@guywithdacap4713]

Trope videos are a trope by themself. They help you reading a screenplay. They teach you nothing about real life.

[@lindamukarakate7511]

@@guywithdacap4713 they never said they were teaching you things for real life tho lol. these videos are just to help you understand the history of tropes we see on tv all the time. ain't that deep

[@thegiftofgabby5581]

The myth of the perfect woman changing him is just that. Even if he falls in love, in real life players still play. He might marry her but still pursue sex with other women.

[@kaykaylove3045]

That's the thing that always bothers me about this trope. It's rampant in romance novels. A guy like this is not just gonna change his ways over night, just because he "fell in love" with a girl. Love doesn't prevent cheating.

[@sendpie6565]

Valley of the Dolls book teach me that at 12.

[@ShawnRavenfire]

There's also the third possibility, of the ladies' man marrying a woman who is into having a swinger lifestyle.

[@byMidnyt]

@@ShawnRavenfire Except the ladies man isn't a swinger. While on the surface they might appear similar, a deeper look will show that they are quite different. A swinger is going to say from the start: "this is what I am, this is what I am into." A ladies man wants to be the winner, he doesn't want to share. He will also actively avoid his female equivalent. There's an inherent dishonestly to the ladies man.

[@Liusila]

Midnyt Storme Absolutely agreed. If anything the ‘Ladies’ Man’ will be repulsed by an openly non-monogamous female and might even try and shame her into monogamy with him. If he “wins” her this way, he can promptly lose interest and continue conquering others.

[@MrLisbethsalamander]

Donald draper is for me the most well-portrayed example of “the ladies man” because the series really go deep down the surface so you can empathise with him or at least understand why he does what he does. The think i loved is that mad men didn't chose the easy path trying to solve all his problems just with love, every time that he apparently finds “the right girl” who almost tamed him it doesn't last longer because the real problem is inside him and he could never be happy until he finally fights his demons.

[@espifreak]

Yeah, Mad Men deconstructs the Lady's Man. Don developed unhealthy attitudes about sex when he's raised in a brothel and loses his virginity to a surrogate mother figure at 15. He's not an enviable man's man; he's broken under the gleaming surface.

[@grammaticalerrors3576]

Indira Andrea Pérez goes the thing choose just fixing your grammatical mistakes

[@recommended7796]

There are no demons. We men are sexual machines. We love to conquer as many women as possible. I am surprised why there such a stupid campaign to hide such a simple fact of life.

[@Liusila]

Recommended I don’t think it’s that simple. You could claim all humans seek power and safety but in society we don’t run around killing each other all the time and acting solely on our most primal instincts.

[@recommended7796]

​@@Liusila Yes we do. Not always with clubs like cavemen, but with words. However I don't know what this has to do with sexuality. Because it's not true that everyone seeks power. There are many people out there who are resigned to fate. They believe in God, and that everything that happens in their lives is one of God's many wishes. If you need a real analogy take food. The primal need to eat, and to change the foods we eat has never changed from cavemen days.

[@oosakasan]

"He's the next Donald Trump!" that line aged, um... well... it aged.

[@sophiejones7727]

aged well actually. Now people outside of New York City get ALL the implications of what she was saying.

[@ginam.6787]

😂😂

[@paulaqueirosz]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@TheSongwritingCat]

@@sophiejones7727 I suspect that Candace Bushnell just has problematic taste in men. I don't know if she's ever explicitly talked about politics either so for all we know...

[@sophiejones7727]

@@TheSongwritingCat yeah, that's what I was talking about. Until 2016 people outside NYC only knew that he was a somewhat shady businessman. You had to read New York tabloids to know he was basically the ultimate expression of the trope discussed in this video with a side order of idiot.

[@malon-]

The toxic thing about this is that every romcom or other movie teaches girls that the ladiesman will magically wake up and see how special you are, even though their previous behavior is not right or respectful. So once he realises this, he will suddenly change. It does not matter if the lady in the movie sleeps with him very quickly, he will magically see her as she is because he realises she is the one? While in real life he will see her as a quick hookup and never calls her back. And if the lady does give her opinion, she is "stuck up", learns to relax and he will suddenly not chase all the women because she is the one. God, hollywood, step up your game! :P What about teaching girls to stay away from toxic people so they can learn that it will not attract good things.

[@Linkfanoftheyear]

Stories feature redemption of irredemible characters all the time. Nobody hates star wars because the genocidal Darth Vader redeems himself. Not every story has to be a life lesson about what you should look for in a partner. It's entertainment, not education.

[@goodrose4734]

@@Linkfanoftheyear While it might not be education, they push a narrative conscious or non conscious. Once the mind has seen something over and over again, it registers it as a truth. That's why politics differ based on what news source you use.

[@_Sakidora_]

Having sex with lots of women is not necessarily wrong or disrespectful. It depends on how you go about it. The same applies to women and men.

[@_Sakidora_]

@Angelina Pattern Who says they are boasting about it? In my experience men who boast about their sexual conquests have rarely done what they are boasting about. Often it's the man who scored with a woman who he thinks is way out of his league, probably when she was drunk, who boasts the most.

[@donskoycat8732]

Basically the bad boy but if he was a womanizer. Edit: So he’s basically the bad boy, but more polished. Is that correct?

[@dreamyanon5151]

Ian Michael The sarcasm in this comment physically attacked me 😂

[@krombopulos_michael]

@LEO2001 No they aren't. Some of them are just reclusive, or not particularly interested in women.

[@aidoll3692]

Oh. I can see this being a whole squares and rectangles situation

[@Me-vn3gz]

Found the incel

[@jofrn294]

The bad boy usually is a womanizer. The difference between them is that the bad boy is defined by being rebellious and the sense of danger. The ladies’ man is defined by his charm.

[@franboos]

Zeus wasn't a ladies man, he just really got off on assault

[@ais89x]

"allegedly"

[@user-mb9nm7bq5e]

A I lmao

[@kaitlyn__L]

I mean so did Bond so.....

[@kaitlyn__L]

Like remember that time James Bond literally forced himself on a lesbian agent while "romantic" music played??? She was his coworker dammit and should've just been eyeing up the ladies alongside him but noo

[@emilyb.8219]

@@kaitlyn__L Wtf? That's horrendous. I assume that was in a Sean Connery movie. I haven't seen any of them but he seems r*pey as hell in those

[@gabbiemedeiros1790]

I'm a simple lady. I saw a trope analysis, I'm here.

[@thebadwolf3088]

Uma brasileira detectada?

[@makayultia828]

Oh, you're part of a new trope then :))

[@tiffanypersaud3518]

Same! Haha!

[@caroles.maciel]

unfortunately, it is in the hope of changing a Ladies' Man that countless women accept to be treated in a misogynistic manner by men who are simply bad. Woman, it's not your job to change an asshole!!

[@RajKumar-sj2eo]

Women should stop being attracted to assholes in the first place. Why not go after the good men at first and avoid the whole headache?

[@samanthakim1975]

In my opinion Barney's behavior is not only an attempt to bring laughs, but also a way to ridiculize the trope with his exaggerated playbooks and bro codes. Barney's attempts to get laid were ridiculous, I think man who idolize him are seriously missing the point

[@bethjung9991]

Maybe, but let's not ignore the fact that countless men and boys used to and even continue to worship this bloke

[@Peecamarke]

that may be true, but it's presented in an empathetic way

[@samanthakim1975]

@@bethjung9991 I think the fact that he's gay in real life just makes it more ironic.

[@thefullofbest]

I did his ridiculous attempts and it worked 😂😂😂

[@robertbarack1827]

I thought his character was supposed to be a complete mockery of the LaDIesMAn

[@Lauren-rl4eu]

Like 90% of tv "ladies men" would absolutely be considered predators in the real world.

[@reverie.b7401]

The only reason these people are blind to it is because of their appearance 😪

[@anonymousperson8301]

What about Fonz or Zack Morris?

[@paccawacca4069]

No, they're attractive. Attractive men get away with this stuff

[@zendayasfruityfrenchfry1784]

Damon Salvatore

[@ndhickson3599]

Quagmire

[@Crimson28]

Brandt: “Is that all you got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one liner?” Tony Stark: “Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.”

[@Dalt1n999]

It's funny bc his last actions alive were exactly that cheap trick: absorbing the stones into his suit cheesy one liner: "and I am Iron Man"

[@zameermaqsood7670]

John Doe woah dude

[@vsboardza]

His tricks are not cheap darling

[@adel6019]

@kshiftkometh....................Pepper Potts

[@kaitlyn__L]

@kshiftkometh seeing a lot of comments from you all over this video, armchair diagnosing practically every guy here... are you taking psychology in uni or something? You're authoritatively stating a LOT of things that are quite difficult to diagnose in real life and require a great deal of care when doing so because misdiagnosis can result in treatments that don't help or even make things worse, and pile on social stigma. This usually means actual professionals hedge their words and make measured guesses, especially given fictional men are just that, and have no real life to look deeper into for true answers. While people who are just learning all this stuff and common signs to watch out for seem much more likely to just start diagnosing practically every fictional character, as their brain is chewing on all these new ideas and warning signs and behavioural patterns... there's an element of Dunning-Kruger that can occur where one's own perceived expertise is at its highest when just beginning to learn more advanced concepts.

[@quaggadon7544]

It’s interesting that movies’ reform of ladies men is almost always without them (finding the right one or maybe parenthood). Inferred solutions like this remind me of how movies insinuate women need a man or children to be happy. We need more ladies man reforms that end in single life with healthy relationships (not necessarily romantic) and healthy habits. Because pointing out a void and filling it with “the one” constantly may not be the solution for everyone.

[@grammaticalerrors3576]

@John Lord ladie’s men

[@ShawnRavenfire]

Agree.

[@Firegen1]

And thus the effect of the Hays Code present themselves again.

[@timothyyeo123]

What about joey? He didnt find the one. He was just happy with his friends.

[@muffinfighter3680]

Yeah exactly, not everybody is meant to be in a monogamous relationship

[@Jazzisa311]

I don't really believe in the 'reforming' of a ladies man. If a guy is too 'popular' with the women, I'm automatically uninterested, since I don't believe people really change, especially for someone. He might fall in love, be faithfull even, but eventually he'd get bored and turn back to his old ways. Guys don't change suddenly when they meet 'the one'. That's a fantasy. If a guy changes, it's because of his own reasons, for example, because he just ages out of the womanizing.

[@sarizonana]

Roxy Woodward yeah sometimes being a ladies man is just a phase, a moment in their lives when when guys just don’t feel like engaging yet and go out with many women but are still not interested in something serious. There are ladies man that ofcourse will never change but I think for others it might just be a phase in their life and no the perfect woman won’t change him but a certain moment in their life might. Maybe like seeing all his friends are now getting married and is staying without company for the party or going out. With Tony Stark it wasn’t about Pepper being the right woman more like he went through Afghanistan and then the palladium poisoning which made him realize that he wasn’t in the mood for being a womanizer anymore

[@Author.Noelle.Alexandria]

I know of one time, and one time only, where it worked in real life, and that's because the ladies' man wasn't an ass to women. All the girls but one wanted my dad, and all the guys wanted to be him. Good looking, athlete from a good family with some money, raised to be a gentleman, etc. The one who couldn't care less was my mother. She was pretty, but had not much else going for her. Criminal family, her siblings kept being arrested by my dad's dad and his fellow officers. Because she wasn't interested in offering herself on a silver platter, that intrigued him, and he made a real effort to get to know her and earn her friendship. It's interesting to me that, despite being raised with men always holding the door and such, things that aren't bad manners today, he twisted it into whoever gets to the door first holds it, regardless of the person's sex. He did right in teaching me and my brother than those gentlemanly ways applied to both of us since it was just plain the right thing to do. In the 80's and 90's this wasn't considered feminism since men were still expected to pay on dates and such, but it was.

[@byMidnyt]

I guess it depends on how he is "popular". I know a couple of guys that have dated around a lot, and they are very popular with the ladies, but I wouldn't classify them as ladies men. They are certainly not ready to settle down yet, but at the same time, are not actively opposed to the idea. Although I suppose from a distance, if they do find someone, it might appear to the outside that they were reformed. But these types are simply genuinely nice, outgoing people. There's an honesty and an authenticity in them that you simply don't see in the ladies man. I will say however, if the woman doesn't turn out to be "the one" she might misclassify him in hindsight out of anger or hurt. I think this is the true damage of the "reformed ladies man" trope. The ladies man actively perpetuates the idea that he is ready to settle down, this guy does not. If he tells her from the start that he's not ready to settle down, and she sticks around hoping he'll change, that's on her.

[@funkyfranx]

@dil oreo Not wanting a committed relationship is not a sign of trauma or mental issues.

[@thatboikas2137]

I feel like if they were to truly change it will be for himself and not because he found “the one”

[@erikeriks]

Being a ladies man isn't about tricking ladies, it's about tricking men into thinking that they're getting ladies

[@julianleft4662]

LMAO. Then how do you explain the fact that they're actually getting ladies? Just yikes. Bunch of snowflakes on this channel who want to force their own fantasy ass views on the world.

[@Feliciatanktop]

*Quagmire from Family Guy has left the chat*

[@katybee3891]

Julian Left you are talking about fictional characters and the women they sleep with are fictional characters as well. So what do you mean with they actually get women??

[@MsFluffyninja7]

I think it's a bit of both. I have seen these types of tricks actually work on some women

[@RomanZolanski123]

Julian Left uh you know that most films are projected fantasies right

[@suruthe7804]

Im loving this Dive into Male archetypes! it was interesting to see how all female character types were always a form of male fantasy

[@trinaq]

Ditto, it's a seriously compelling insight into gender tropes, and how they may function as "wish fulfilment" for its target demographic. 🎯😊

[@suruthe7804]

Trina Q yup! im excited for this new wave of movies that focus on representation for demographics and not a stereotype for onlookers

[@Peecamarke]

I agree but the more I dive into archetypes the more I realize, they all come down to being some form of male fantasy or focus. Due to the gross gender norms and oppression of female authors we have very few archetypes created with out a connection to the male gaze.

[@suruthe7804]

B Black i think so too, the early forms of entertainment were books and since women were rarely given “a room of ones own” as virgina wolf would put it their voices and experiences rarely were told and if theybwere afforded the opportunity they either told to change the plot in order for it to be profitable or it came from upper class white women who had a completely different relationship with their gender and the expectations they had compared to working class people

[@TheSwordfish009]

@@trinaq Ladies-men need to settle for one woman for redemption. And women need redemption by sleeping with plenty of men and having her man accept that she may need sex outside her relationship. Noticed how all the male archetype (including the nerd/good guy) are all considered toxic and all the female ones (including the evil girls) are considered as a product of toxic male fantasy? Modern day love and analysis. -_-

[@annarose932]

It would be interesting to hear you guys analyse how animation over the various periods have changed. It might sound odd but it would be interesting to hear you guys look at sexism in animation (for kids as well as adults). Looking at jokes mocking woman, females not being comical characters in comedy genres, and also how females have evolved from stereotypes (like the hot woman or cute character in something like Animaniacs) into a more layered and sometimes the most hilarious character (like Mabel Pines or Linda Belcher).

[@Crystalgemice]

Yessss! This is such a good idea!

[@Peecamarke]

👍🏿 great suggestion!

[@trinaq]

I agree, that sounds like a Marvellous suggestion, and shows how attitudes towards women or sexism have evolved over the years, from Betty Boop to Wilma Flintstone, to Marge Simpson. 💕

[@isaacgray2909]

Agreed! Really want to see more videos from them on animated shows.

[@mynameisuju]

Oh my Godness yes! Just a few decades ago, most cartoons had some heavily sexualized female character and punchline was either about all the boys following her around, or her being dumb because shes pretty. I'm pretty sure this was an episode in Tom and Jerry infact loll. Fast forward to the decade of Tina Belcher, Princess caroline and Lana Kane who've taken these tropes, turned them on their ass and shot them into space.

[@elenapopovic2527]

Several layers of "ew" at the majority of these characters.

[@bethjung9991]

🙌🏼so true 🤮

[@manniking233]

I don't remember Femme Fatales getting 'ew'ed like this last week, though... Y'all be bugging, man.

[@minabright9894]

@@manniking233 fame fatales are considered broke and whores and usually pay for their promiscuity whoever the ladies man is glorified and celebrated just tell me how many ladies men die by the end of their movies ?needles to say both characters are manipulative af aand ew and are seen as better than the rest just for using their productive organs more than the rest of the cast

[@minabright9894]

@@Chris-rg6nm did you see horror movies sis when a women sleeps around she gets killed brutally lol , it is a fact that most sexually active women in movies especially in older cinema gets not just a bad end but DEATH while the ladies men is glorified and celebrated .

[@kant.68]

@@manniking233 Double standards

[@MrsGoldSound]

We are getting treaaated during our quarantine. So many tropes at the moment, I love it

[@fd3069]

I remember as a teenager how the boys took the "bro code" so seriously, idolizing Barney. Now he is the most hated character. Which, you know, I am not mad at.

[@CCLOSPINA]

The most hated character is the Nice Guy Ted Mosby.

[@fd3069]

@@CCLOSPINA that is just because he is such an obnoxious and pretentious baby man. Barney is the one you want to deck. Also he is more dangerous because his story makes you believe you can "change him" and you will only get bit in the ass for it.

[@samanthakim1975]

In my opinion Barney's behavior is not only an attempt to bring laughs, but also a way to ridiculize the trope with his exaggerated playbooks and bro codes.

[@bethjung9991]

Dude talk about it. 😒 My elder brother worshipped Barney. Tough childhood.... 😩

[@Dalt1n999]

True but I do think that the most hated is Ted Mosby, also I think he's the most dangerous over all, bc only young straight men fall for Barney's clearly satirical version of the ladies' man, not to mention everyone in the show always take him for a bullshitter, while Ted managed to subtly fool truly rational people both in the show and in the audience for almost 15 years

[@Jazzisa311]

Barney from HIMYM is such a strange thing. I mean, he does a LOT of truly reprehensible things. LIke, borderline sociopathic behavior (once he said he may have accidentally sold a woman into slavery...). The only reason that people still like his character, is because of Neil Patrick Harris. He's just so damn likeable & charming, and he seems like a really great guy irl (his family is fucking ADORABLE). I'm wondering if there is a character in existence that he could play, and that the viewer would actually hate, or that anyone he'd play would automatically just be too likeable. Seriously, I'd like to see him in a REALLY hateable roll, just as an experiment. Like, prince Joffrey- level hateable XD.

[@jasonmack2569]

Roxy: If you think about it Sit-Coms, on the whole, rely on both over the top characters and situations. Think of Ab Fab. Patsy and Edina were horrid. They actually did sell Edina's daughter into slavery.

[@insertnamehere4491]

He already did a hateable character. The stalker in gone girl.

[@spacedog6229]

He also plays count Olaf in the Netflix series of unfortunate events

[@crod9905]

Count Olaf?

[@crazy4beatles]

@@TheGhostofAbigailMills Yeah we get to see some of the nicer/vulnerable bits of Barney from Ted's perspective - which serves to soften his character.

[@ocek2744]

I find that last part so idiotic about movies. The solution towards a pathological lady's man isn't about "finding the one" (which will inevitably make the situation worse), but actual constant work to change one's personality to allow them to feel more fulfilled with their life.

[@bethjung9991]

PREACH!

[@miaortiz8342]

Ocek I don’t think that’s what they’re saying exactly. They’re saying that’s the movie's solution, they never say that the perfect woman is the real-life solution.

[@miaortiz8342]

And I agree. I’m just saying the video was exposing what society thinks about bad boy.

[@jcnot9712]

The amount of Bojack Horseman in these makes me ever so happy.

[@grammaticalerrors3576]

JC Not after these you forgot to write videos. And instead of ever you mean very

[@grammaticalerrors3576]

And take out the so

[@timstarkey3692]

@@grammaticalerrors3576 actually JC Not's sentence makes perfect sense, search it up. Also don't you have better things to do than to 'correct' people?

[@kaitlyn__L]

I noticed all the ways Mr Peanutbutter was bad at relationships and boundaries right from the very start, even when other people were saying "naw, he's sweet, BoJack is the asshole".... so I was very vindicated when the story actually Went There with him ^_____^ they're both assholes in very different ways! Ugh Bojack is so good, it's so.. at first it feels like they're probably not going to go anywhere meaningful and everyone is just comedy characters... but then they DO start analysing all these consequences and it's so beautiful. It's a deeply silly world, but all the consequences people face are very very real.

[@dghvdhfhhb6405]

Facts I’ve been watching that show lately

[@papkinn]

I just *love* how this trope treats women as sex objects and even when it tries to be "deep" it always turns into slut shaming and paints guy as someone hurt who got hurt by women who "never truly loved him". Yes bu hu women who agreed on quick sex for pure pleasure wasn't interested in serious relationship and getting married with s stranger what a shocker maleprotagonist#261434 next you will tell me it's getting dark in night.

[@manniking233]

Dude is independent and fucks whoever he wants in a free world. Actually, the problem is portraying the trope like there's something wrong with it. Not every association with the opposite sex needs to end with wives and children. Fun matters, too, you know. And independence.

[@bethjung9991]

Emmanuel Agyei-Boakye Have u seen their behavior or the stuff they say? They don't just fuck like nobody's business, they also disrespect and manipulate women. Not to mention that they are narcissists

[@christopherbrown2706]

@dil oreo not every guy who doesn't want marriage ends up with STDs, strippers, etc, and some of these committed bachelours actually create fulfilling lives for themselves

[@deaconnavarro160]

You seem pressed.

[@esbeelavallee2568]

LEO2001 Well i agree with most of your comment, I disagree if the guy lie, hide his true intentions, manipulate, etc. It’s ok for a guy to just want sex and that’s all. He just have to say he is looking for sex and not a deep relationship, monogamy or else and he just want a one night. If the guy is honest and the woman agree, then it’s fine! But ladies player like Don Juan, Casanova and others are ready to say and do anything just to have sex and don’t care if their actions hurts people. They are not honest in their intentions. Don’t forget many ladies man may not be honest in their intentions on purpose.

[@Peecamarke]

Gosh, I do hate this trope SO much. So obnoxious, misogynist, and active in misleading centuries of men into toxic masculinity.

[@trinaq]

Totally concurred, it paints a highly unlikely stereotype of men, and it's indeed toxic and damaging! 😾

[@julianleft4662]

And yet this is what most women love and guess what. If it ain't this trope it's going to be another one. And then you'll have discussion about why that trope exists. Etc. People will always find reasons to complain. Snowflakes. Imagine being handsome and well versed is toxic being called as toxic masculinity. Sorry that sexes scare you.

[@Feliciatanktop]

Julian Left didn’t know you talked to most of the 3.5 billion women on Earth

[@locutusdborg126]

Toxic masculinity is a female construct invented to demonize men.

[@devonhayes2209]

There is no such thing as toxic masculinity. Making someone less of a man isn’t going to make him a better person. He will just be a more feminine version of that same bad guy

[@tariqthomas9090]

The Ladies Man trope is so sad but also kind of funny to me. Mostly because of the idea that there is a guy in existence that can actually get "any woman he wanted". To quote author Jenna Moreci: "Any woman? Really? Because I don't know if anyone ever told you, but some women...*like women.*" That being said, I like the deep dive into this trope. I think it's always important to discuss toxic masculinity tropes and this is definitely one of them.

[@gottacreatechannelstocomme858]

Tariq Thomas I agree and the fact that Clark Gable was a rapist well - that tracks.

[@christopherbrown2706]

@@gottacreatechannelstocomme858 how do we know Clark Gable was a rapist?

[@christopherbrown2706]

They don't mean LITERALLY any woman, dumbass, but the women who WOULD reject him (or at least who'd have no interest in him whatsoever) are few and far between, usually because he has enough attractions to attract a variety of women

[@kaitlyn__L]

Tariq Thomas as a lesbian I totally agree, unfortunately the more toxic of people who actively try to be ladies' men think that if they turn up "the charm" (which isn't really charming, it's so obviously desperation, like "trying lines", it's so see through) enough it'll break through any pesky sapphicity... all that "you just haven't been with the right man yet" bullshit that people really do say in real life to lesbians :/ :/ of course they don't take it very kindly when I (jokingly) say maybe they should try transitioning to be a girl and maybe I'd be attracted to them then........... like honestly even. The really buff butch girls... they're great. But buff trans guys hold no interest for me at all. So........ I presume the same in reverse might apply, guy I have no interest in becoming a girl... maybe ?¿ I mean I say this slightly tongue in cheek, you can't really just arbitrarily decide to be trans after all, but. Y'know.

[@darkdream1469]

Jenna Moreci 👌 love her

[@annarose932]

In modern adaptations male vampires are often the ladies man, like in Fright Night or Buffy or Bram Stoker's Dracula. As they are seen as mysterious and hypnotising (literally in these examples) to woman and dangerous as a hard to beat competition for men.

[@annarose932]

@Manophere. com Yes I can see that. I think when Lucy becomes a vampire she does show signs of a femme fatale woman.

[@trinaq]

I agree, it's part of their mystic and supernatural charms which make them almost irresistible to all women. A prime example would be Dracula and his "normal" rival, Jonathan Harker. 🧛‍♂️

[@TheSwordfish009]

yeah... because they're murderers and cannibals. Can't get more "bad boy" than that. XD Ask Ted Bundy. Women still wanted to fuck him inside prison. Got one pregnant inside jail actually.

[@AlasEtéreas]

Kono Dio da!

[@kimifw58]

"Sexy Monster" would be a good topic.

[@alinaumer7543]

I adore these “trope” videos! So well written

[@julianleft4662]

You mean written by a frustrated woman? Sure.

[@camillec3702]

Julian Left if there’s only one person that seems frustrated or bored out of their mind in the comment section, well, spoilers alert, it’s you ! Don’t kid yourself into thinking your little parody of cynicism actually manages to undermine the people you address with such shallow arguments, it would be way too candid of you :)

[@sepiteria7797]

I wouldn't say Tony Stark fits the "The right woman comes along and saves him" story line. There's a reason him and Pepper don't end up together in the first one, even if they both want to. Every single movie he's in, his arc is about bettering himself because he sees what he could become in the eyes of his villains, further realizing his flaws, and from that he builds a sense of responsibility for the people he can save that can't save themsleves. Tony's decade long arc is going from completely selfish to completely selfless, saying it's instead "he went from a playboy to a family man out of no where" isn't fair to all the build up (with and without Pepper) over the years.

[@thomasdevine867]

Let's remember that Don Juan and Casanova were radically different. Don Juan made no secret of his desire to harm, humiliate, and socially cripple women. Casanova was a crook, but the women he had affairs with defended him as a gentleman and mainly spoke of his offering to share an adventure with them. Don Juan destroyed women, women proclaimed Casanova was joyful fun. Not all non- monogamous lifestyles are exploitive. Universal enforced chastity isn't justice nor is it enlightened.

[@ThanksHermione]

Please cover the trope of the mysterious brooding man with a sad past that women find attractive.

[@thechurchofsolange58]

That's the Bad Boy trope, already covered in the video :)

[@rlynn6658]

You mean Adam Sandler's Wedding Singer? Or like... a guy with less crying and less mullet... lol.

[@adwaitab.3622]

You mean Christian Grey...

[@byMidnyt]

@@adwaitab.3622 Christian Grey isn't really a bad boy. Or if he is, he accidentally is. He's a poorly written kink-shaming BDSM fantasy of a lights-off missionary-only woman that has no idea what BDSM culture is all about.

[@Firegen1]

Nah that's the Woobie.

[@liyre4189]

"Women want them, men want to be them." Okay but as a bisexual, I want both.

[@thatboikas2137]

LIyre nice dude

[@kaitlyn__L]

As a lesbian, I am very familiar with that "do I want her or want to BE her" feeling........

[@canyounot2102]

Fav comment 😂

[@jascrandom9855]

There's an Element of Female Fantasy Wish fulfillment when that "Special Girl" gets to tame the Ladies Man.

[@Ikaros23]

daddy issues

[@dc9067]

@@Ikaros23 not necessarily

[@unseenmagnificence40]

I think is one of those tropes that tells women it's their job to fix men, and If they get hurt trying it's their fault

[@KRfromthePaleozoic]

I find it interesting that *ncels seem so obsessed with their version of the ladies' man, and the impossibility of achieving that status. I suppose it's difficult to accept that there's no strawman chad messing things up for you -- you hold responsibility for working to build meaningful relationships with other people

[@dithaingampanmei]

Err... So... You *want* the incels to become more like the ladies man?😬

[@dithaingampanmei]

I mean... Its not like a ladies man is a superb role model, you know😅

[@christopherbrown2706]

@dil oreo no, it's just going a long while without getting any, or never having gotten any past an age they can live with

[@pistolen87]

The ladies man are not made up from nothing, they do exists out there. As long as it works with women, men will aspire to be them.

[@kaitlyn__L]

@@dithaingampanmei that's not what I took away at all, I understood it as saying they're so obsessed with the boogieman of The Chad, which is basically their reconstruction of "the ladies' man", that they can't see past it. The truth is that real emotional connection with other people is really important, but they're too distracted by jawlines and forehead slopes and physique and societal status markers. They've bought into the ideology of "ladies' men" so much that all relationships are reduced to a transactional sex act to them. And this is why there's so much overlap between incels, PUAs, and to a lesser extent, MRAs. That hyperfocused worldview of transactional sex acts is common across those spheres, AKA "the manosphere".

[@bisexualichigo4227]

I wonder if there’s a Stupid man trope. I’d fit in that category.

[@Bubbles603]

Oh come on don't be hard on yourself

[@Daniel-tx2vt]

Lol why?

[@eishanair3741]

Oh god I feel that

[@johanliebert6785]

Bisexual Ichigo Ron Weasley

[@cravidana1182]

Which one of the 12 captains would you do? Since you're bisexual. You already have Inoue, so, which one?

[@gh0ulgirl]

love this video! only thing i hate about this trope is how women are always expected to be the solution :/ like we’re some kind of rehab. like it’s normal for men to hurt women to help themselves become a better man.

[@christopherbrown2706]

How are ladies' men hurting women? What harm do women inherently face through NSA involvements with single, attractive men?

[@SamuraiShizuo]

@@christopherbrown2706 Sexual assault, manipulation, praying on women with low self-esteem etc.

[@Svengali764]

In HIMYM only Marshall was a good character. Both Ted and Barney didn't give the woman a thought. Ted only wanted his love story, no matter with whom and Barney wanted to sleep with as many as possible. I hate that serial as well as Two and half men.

[@roy.shrestha]

Antahvasin I agree. Marshall was a great character. I hope I get married to a guy like him

[@wooof.]

Yeah, I used to like Ted but as I grew older I was clearer to his motivations and flaws. It was off-putting. I couldn't stand Barney for the first 5 or so seasons, I was honestly perplexed as to why people would give someone the time of the day to someone so demeaning to women.

[@13myrrh]

Interesting side note. Most reformed ladies man ultimately have daughters. Sometimes it's even the trigger for the change.

[@__-vb3ht]

And I also love that Barney did not get redeemed by his ultimate dream wive Robin, but by being a father. Not by being loved, which he always was(with varying degrees of superficiality and reciprocity), but by giving somebody his own unconditional love. When he talks about being a father, you can tell he looks on his past life with more clarity, regret and disgust than when he was marrried to Robin

[@barbieswanlake0093]

i love these videos they're so well researched and put together

[@silverstarlightproductions1292]

You know what's always bugged me even before the MeToo movement? The fact that if a guy seduces women and constantly sleeps around, he's considered a charming ladies man. But if a woman does the exact same thing, she's called a "sl*t" or a "wh*re."

[@ичо-й3п]

No normal person would have actually consider a fuckboy as a charming ladies man. Normal person, I underline. People using others for sex are rubbish, no matter what gender they are.

[@psychotic17]

You know what always bugged me even before the MeToo movement? That if women sleep around, it's completely normal and healthy and saying otherwise is slut-shaming, while if a man sleeps around, he's "objectifying" and "predatory" and a "misogynist". It's almost like insecure people hate and pathologize members of the opposite sex who can have as much sex as they want, huh?

[@dithaingampanmei]

Our society has always upheld trustworthy and loyal people, because they can create healthy environments. Man-sluts aren't doing anyone any favors with their dicking around, but they are unique in that they can even do so. For a man to be so attractive, that he's irresistible, is something statistically rare enough that its an unusual occurrence. For a woman to sleep around, isn't that difficult of a lifestyle to initiate. So all that "special factor" is absent. So society's default attitude towards non-committal individuals is activated upon her. 🤔just my theory.

[@AdamRhodes536]

Because our society is one in which men approach women. When it comes to relationships, it is assumed that the man makes the first move. Therefore, he is the one that needs to appeal to her while she is the one that needs to be impressed. It's why pickup artists have the term "peacocking." Male peacocks use their plumage to impress females. All the woman has to do is say yes. So if a woman says yes to every guy that approaches her, she gets the reputation of being easy (to impress). inb4 someone says "mansplain"

[@justcallmeBABS]

@@ичо-й3п True, but you don't have to use other people for sex to be called a slut as a woman. Just having multiple healthy consensual sexual relationships over a period of time is enough to "earn" that title. Not all women who are seen as sluts are as manipulative as a man has to be to be called a fuckboy. And even then, the word fuckboy has a lot less pejorative connotation than the word slut.

[@SS-mk2yp]

Barney couldn’t even remember the name of his daughter’s mother, so I wouldn’t call him “reformed”.

[@GoodNBadGurl]

I was never attracted to this kind of people. This goes both ways 😂

[@Polymathically]

My family and coworkers all say that I'm a natural ladies man, and I've always found it baffling. I don't have any pickup lines, gimmicks, or plans. I'm not that good looking either, maybe a 6 or 7 at best. I just talk to women like, you know, _people._ Just keep it simple, earnest, and confident. It's amazing how far eye contact, a smile, a sense of humor, and being decently groomed can get you. I don't go in expecting anything, so it's not like there's any pressure. But I'm not a Casanova or James Bond at all. My family and coworkers are shocked that I'm still single, but I'd rather make myself into someone worth dating first. If anything, I'm approached more often than I approach others. I think people just like talking to me because they can tell I'm not a threat, and I'm interested in what they're saying. If I actually tried flirting, I'd probably fail miserably because I think I'd sound ridiculous.

[@spacechimp5141]

The Ladies' Man usually can't make a lady come because he's too concerned with his own looks and charms.

[@colleengallagher6520]

Lol

[@demainor]

If theres one thing l've learned from all these trope videos, is that everything is subjective, and that the writers and culture determine what is the problem and it's suggested solution. In this case, society says sleeping with many women is "bad" and the "solution" is to find "the one". At the same time, because of the new wave of feminism, it's strongly suggested that for females, the ability to sleep with many men is a sign of independence which will only strongly encourage it. So if everything is subjective, and society sets the tone of your narrative but in a way that forced you to toe the line, then you are much better placed to determine what you want to pursue. Unfortunately, everyone else is still under the matrix and will force you to return to the fold or shun you completely. TL:DR, being with one or many partners is not innately bad, it's society's current story and take that boxes you in. The guiding question for you should be, when l'm on my death bed, what will l remember fondly? (Runs to grab a bucket of condoms)

[@technomad9071]

if women will fall for this kind of man why would he ever change?

[@r.babylon2885]

@dil oreo Oh, yes it does. I've known several. One ended up with a "We Hate _____" party in his honor with 20+ attendees. All women. I knew a few of them and he was so good he split friendships apart. Your best friend who experienced him firsthand would not break his hold on you. The best part though is that he eventually did this on a vengeful underage girl. He's in prison now.

[@technomad9071]

@dil oreo o yeah it does, when was the last time you saw the nice guy get the girl before they turn 30?

[@technomad9071]

@Glenna Smith yeah it does, when was the last time you saw the nice guy get the girl before they turn 30?

[@typeme1957]

Allen Babylon Stfu you just said the plot of Pride & Prejudice

[@johnt2795]

@Glenna Smith you are fake.

[@davestevens6283]

Always wondered why this trope works so well as an object of fantasy for female viewers. Is it that they think they can "tame" him? Are they eager to "win" the "competition" for his grace\affection\time? Do they assume he must hold some magical sexual prowess, through experience or otherwise? Do they actually want someone to lie to them, or are they so jaded at some point in life they figure everyone does, so they might as well? Or is it just the fact they pick handsome, articulate actors for the role with the best cliche writing available?

[@Meg-bw3yx]

As a female, I think it has something to do with the handsome actors and writing, something to do with “winning” the competition, but also the idea that this guy could have any woman he chooses and he chooses you

[@Peecamarke]

I mean, you also gotta remember misogyny and male predatory behavior has been indoctrinated in our culture as a whole for CENTURIES that its extremely easy to see all of toxic behaviors as positive and attractive

[@davestevens6283]

@@Meg-bw3yx A somewhat derogatory theory I heard once "Women don't assess the fundamental quality of the man they meet. They assess the woman he's with or was with".

[@rlynn6658]

To answer your question, I think it works well because for a brief moment we (female viewer) can imagine that this guy knows what life is actually about, has some handle on the meaning of the universe, has gained some knowledge about existence, because how could he be so cocky if this were not true? Right? So she goes with him and then at some point realizes, nope, there is no meaning in life. Period. lol.

[@davestevens6283]

@@rlynn6658 “The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.” ― Bertrand Russell

[@fanbynature]

I was hoping for the quote from "Down with love" to be included, not dissapointed. On another note tropes who have the "taming" part are ridiculous, no matter if it's a man or a woman. If you want your character to f*ck around let them, they don't have to "settle down" to have fulfilled life, just don't write them as an a-hole. Or having a tragic backstory - it's such a cliche, some people just enjoy sex, there is nothing wrong with that.

[@LoveK1]

FanbyNature I think that this portrayal of people who love sex is somewhat the reason why they are demonized in our day to day life. People automatically assume they’re broken. That something needs to be fixed and that their existence causes a lot of harm.

[@sarizonana]

The first character that came to my mind with your description was Samantha Jones from sex and the city, the show definitely respected her character ideals the whole show

[@jadziawynter9241]

Please do a video on the witch and girly girl trope!

[@MsDaydream3r]

YAAASSS!

[@franziska9260]

THE GIRLY GIRL, YES

[@MsZephyra]

Witches are mentioned in their "weird girl" trope, FYI

[@robertbarack1827]

@@MsZephyra my favorite one. Unless you're talking about Phoebe cuz I love her!

[@allesundmehr]

11:09 "the next donald trump you say?" runs away

[@KittySnicker]

I don’t see why the ladies’ man needs to per se change as long as he’s not being unfaithful or dishonest. If he isn’t lying about his intentions, then why sex shame him? I’m a woman and if we don’t want to be shamed for our sexual behavior, why should we shame men into settling down when they don’t want to?

[@kaitlyn__L]

The way I view it is these men are serial monogamists, not swingers or openly polyamorous. They are often also turned off by nonmonogamous women. It's about "the conquest", of "winning" at breaking down these desires - either at being "so desirable" they stop caring about monogamy, or that they get the woman to actually desire a full-on relationship with them. Plus of course this is about a trope in fiction, and the ways it plays out and objectifies people and stuff. It's not talking about real people in real life. In real life, someone can go on a lot of dates and charm a lot of people while being completely respectful, or they can have a bunch of one night stands and leave ruin in their wake as they don't properly prepare their one-off partners for what to actually expect. This is one way queer communities and our norms better serve the people involved, because people tend to be up-front about whether they just want to hook up for fun or if they want to go on dates and really get to know each other. Also polyamory is more known about and accepted, so what would be shameful secretive cheating in many long term straight relationships becomes spouse-sanctioned flings or hook-ups instead. This trope encourages straight men to put on the trappings of getting to know each other, in service of a goal of just hooking up. And the real men in real life who think this is to be imitated, such as Roosh or other PUAs, are proud about how they will say or do anything on a date just to fuck and then leave in the middle of the night. The idea of being upfront about wanting casual sex is seen as attracting "the wrong kind of woman" (or even just "whores"), so it's all inextricably tied up with slut-shaming cultural attitudes too. Fighting our own cultural shame for being free and sexual women also involves encouraging open communication between all parties and everyone being honest about what they want, and that's why these two things are not actually mutually contradictory IMO. If polyamory were more culturally accepted, someone still having the desire to experience first-time dates even while in the middle of a committed relationship, may be able to work things out in an open and respectful manner instead of sneaking them in with hotel rooms and layovers for business meetings, along with all the subconscious shame that secrecy brings. This secrecy, and the cultural expectation of monogamy, is what drives these narratives of "charming" many women in a row, but never being satisfied or fulfilled, or speaking to any of them again afterwards. And of course, in various queer worlds, it's more accepted to say to your two long term boyfriends "I'm going to go for some drinks with this cute boy I saw at the club the other night, maybe we'll bone!" and there's no secrecy or shame, it doesn't destroy relationships, or rely on manipulating the date....

[@shrisiva4016]

@@kaitlyn__L I disagree with you, agree with the original comment and this channel is portraying this in a biased way, I don't think men are certain they'll be in a relationship with a woman after a one night stand, and they have every right to not want to be with them after. Usually the women in the situation have made up a narrative in thier head how it'll play out and feel entitled to a relationship without telling him, which is why she feels devastated it doesn't play out the way she wanted. This is unfairly portrayed as the man's fault. That's not the man's fault. It's not like the woman was upfront about her intentions of wanting a relationship either and the man never stated or promised he wanted to either, so why is it his fault she expected something else? Women aren't owed relationships. I no reason why they have to "prepare" the women what to expect like a kid, when the women aren't expected to do this. Completely unfair double standard imo.

[@brandontinguely5437]

i appreciate the nuance of these videos. you're never outright dismissive of the characters you ladies discuss. great stuff as always.

[@sucons4254]

I can’t even watch HIMYM anymore. It just makes me so uncomfortable

[@Author.Noelle.Alexandria]

I can't watch Friends anymore either. Everything in that show aged badly, and I was pretty uncomfortable when it was still airing. But now, I feel sick seeing how strong the fandom has become. Ross is an entitled asshole who makes me afraid. Chandler and Joey are rapey gross guys who like to go after drunk college girls. Phoebe's mental illness is made into a joke. If they were going for quirky, they missed. Rachel and Monica were their own bucket of issues.

[@anonymousperson8301]

How?

[@parisknight1840]

Sincerely, Noëlle we’ll I mean it’s a comedy with dark humor, it’s not a show that is a commentary on that stuff so I’m confused but whatever

[@wooof.]

@@Author.Noelle.Alexandria I feel you, I grew up on HIMYM but a lot of my friends and family that were too young for FRIENDS started and finished watching it. Some episodes were ok but others were off-putting, after a while I couldn't stand the characters or the jokes. Why watch a show about people you don't like?

[@Swiftiebooklover7]

I always find it weird that the ladies man (although being creepy and predactious) are mostly shown as redeemed guys and the nice guys who treat their love interests with respect mostly don't get the girl and nowadays are shown as creepy.

[@byMidnyt]

Are the love interests even remotely interested in these nice guys in the beginning? IE. is the woman trying to choose between a ladies man and a good guy, both of whom she is interested in? Cause continuing to pursue someone who is not remotely interested in you is not respectful, and is creepy.

[@gabrielvalerio3906]

They depicted that trope, and as a former "nice guy" i can grant you, it is exactly like they put it. Nice guys are scared to show their true intentions and generally expect rewards for being polite.

[@Swiftiebooklover7]

@@byMidnyt you are correct if the girl has never shown interest in the nice guy but what about actual love triangle? In himym (if you have watched the show), Ted( the nice guy) loved Robin immensely and did a lot for her but she didn't commit to him and yet married barney even though throughout the years Barney(the womaniser) had treated women in the worst way In tvd also, Elena left Stefan, a guy who was soinlovewith her for her brother Damon who did awful things. Some nice guys might be creepy but I have never a guy like that once get the girl if there is a choice between him and womaniser.

[@byMidnyt]

@@Swiftiebooklover7 Honestly, I haven't watched either. I did read TVD books, but it was a long time ago and I don't remember them, so I don't know how much the show deviated. I won't argue the abuse of the trope in triangles in TV/movies though. We've started deconstructing "the nice guy", but I don't think anyone will argue we're not even close to being done. We'll eventually get there with the "bad boy" as well.

[@grey29825]

This trope always just reminds me how gay I am 😂. Great video!

[@bethjung9991]

😂😂😂

[@dithaingampanmei]

Aren't there any LGBTQ equivalents to the Ladies Man?😶

[@neuvation6607]

@@dithaingampanmei no, women can't detach emotions from sex, men can do it better. When women think they can, its called being a who** and instead of the success and options of a man with experience a girl is left stretched out body and unable to connect emotionally to any new guy. Men are attracted to purity, women are attracted to men that know what they are doing.

[@myll0x]

Hi, I'm from Brazil and I just wanted to thank you. This channel is really important to me, especially The Friends, The Office e trope videos. You are the best!

[@XueChinese]

The sad fact is that they are very unlikely to change. I met one today, 40 years old, lost everything include his charm, feel sorry for him, but that is the price. Time will tell the answer.

[@toshcameron366]

11:09 "see that guys he's the next Donald Trump"...That line shows how successful Trump was at coning America into thinking he was a brilliant business man when we was just multi bankroped fail son.

[@kd6836]

Sky Valentino Thanks for bringing politics into this. Nice job. 🙄

[@Jazzisa311]

yeah, that line has NOT aged well XD

[@bethjung9991]

@KD 68 Bringing an example from politics here worked. So they'll use politics, cuz it's their damn wish. Piss off

[@kd6836]

Beth Jung Lol. Sounds like you have terminal TDS. Be sure to wear a mask.

[@Anonymous-mo7oe]

honestly videos from the take are so fascinating because not only do I get to see how they break down the trope but also give insight on how I can use it but be mindful and/or how I could be better at writing it

[@ellenhynes8393]

I kinda hate that this type of man has always been portrayed as sleazy or creepy and that the only out for him is either self-destruction or settling down and having a family. There's nothing wrong with men not wanting to settle down (just as there's nothing wrong with women not wanting to settle down). Some people are just not interested in that kind of commitment. A lot of these characters feel intentionally vilified, like their "reluctance" to settle down is something to be frowned upon.

[@crosen4004]

the comment i was looking for, there is nothing wrong with men or woman that want to fuck around.

[@TheMedicatedArtist]

I personally never understood the appeal of the ladies man...

[@wmhaynwwsmn]

Because it proves to the women that their better than all the other girls he slept with...

[@kaykaylove3045]

Me neither.

[@franziska9260]

@@wmhaynwwsmn That might actually be pretty accurate. Personally, I've written a ladies man but it was for a character who was incredibly in denial about being aromantic

[@venicec3310]

The Medicated Artist because women desire a man who is already pre selected amongst other women be it consciously or sub consciously

[@robertbarack1827]

Probably because it was written by men

[@OK-zo9vf]

" It is my duty to please that booty " - Samuel . L Jackson In that moment i smiled and knew there isn't a better ladies than this god

[@MarquisVonMonster]

As long as women keep falling for it, the ladies man will never go hungry.

[@Hallows4]

I think in the case of Tony Stark, it wasn’t just finding the “right woman“ that made him change his ways: I think it was equal parts realizing the harm that he was causing by profiting off of violent conflicts, and discovering real purpose in helping people and the world.

[@Zinetha]

"They call me Nova... As in, Casanova." Idk what movie that line was from but suddenly my mind was blown when I realized the book I'm currently reading has a character named Nova... He's an ally of the main female character (in a war in a fantasy world) but also kind of dictator-ish in his attitude, and she still swoons over how hot he is... Which makes it kinda obvious why his name is Nova.

[@fedem14]

the "pathological woman-pleaser" might be the most annoying one

[@thechurchofsolange58]

Not worse than the pathological male-pleaser

[@robertbarack1827]

Joe Goldberg or mightisay Ted Bundy

[@fuiscklam4087]

17.38 : "To realize that he game has changed" Sweetheart, the game hasn't changed, it never changes. The only thing that changes are the players. And round and round we go.

[@DahliaLegacy]

While there is no problem with men wanting women, it becomes a problem when we're seen an object to be won and not a human first.

[@tiffanypersaud3518]

Truth.

[@monabohamad2242]

Oh you're probably often/usually/ALWAYS either seen as both or as the latter

[@dcworld4349]

You forgot the ladies man who loves women as a kind of short term straight gay best friend and actually don't believe in "the one" because a family life is simply not what they want. Being up front about that they aren't looking for something serious and is often used for women who have been closed off for various reasons, getting their romantic and sexual spark back, and after the fling is done, know what kinda traits the woman want in a serious partner she often ends up with.

[@hollycatlin1573]

Good to see Mr. Peanutbutter here as part of the group of fictional lotharios.

[@user-jn1wm3tb8v]

Your voice is so calm, allowing people to actually listen instead of hearing some dramatic voice hogging the attention.

[@ReeceJulie]

I'm doing a take on 'the Take' calling it, the Took.

[@jeaneasfan2842]

Thank you for continuing to make these trope videos. I love how deep and insightful they all are. As an ex-film studies major, this video series really inspires me! Keep it up :D

[@mariesummer3591]

I would love your take on the "crazy cat lady" trope

[@hyena_2237]

this is my new favourite channel, a real breath of fresh air

[@taokenhanma2083]

Notice how like none of these guys are black men, that's why black people talk about representation. I look forward to the video on the gangster trope cuz then we'll see a video fill of Italian and black actors

[@rehanabegum975]

Netflix's sex educations ladies man is a black guy

[@Belacroix5]

@@rehanabegum975 that's now tho because we are having this conversation

[@TRJ2241987]

Tim Meadows

[@imanenthuse4009]

Shaft?

[@trinaq]

Agreed, although Tim Meadows played a womaniser in the aptly titled, "The Ladies Man", as pictured in the thumbnail. ❤️

[@latedala07]

I think the most interesting iteration of this trope for me is the subcategory of positively (ish) viewed ladies' men created by female authors, screenwriters, and directors. Ladies' men usually are the product of male wish fulfillment to some extent, so it's fascinating to see it co-opted by female creators, adapting it into female wish fulfillment. Fifty shades of grey was so popular because the fantasy wasn't a womanizer who does whatever he wants, but a man who magically acts on the exact fantasies and desires of the female lead. Of course, there are a lot of problems with those types of characters, but it's still fascinating to see what happens with positive female gaze on that trope.

[@shrisiva4016]

You it's "positive female gaze" when female writers do the exact same thing male writers do? Fifty shades of Grey still had the guy totally in control of her life and could do anything she wanted. How is that any different to ladies men who knew exactly what to say to charm women?

[@gabrielvalerio3906]

The cultural assault on man who wish to be free is the exactly opposite of what feminism is supposed to stand for. There's no point on shaming man for not wanting to live in a church and only have monogamic relationships, even though a decent chunk of these trope are over compensating loneliness, it is NOT fair to generalize it to all man who don't submit to the christian traditional model of man and woman relationship's.

[@veganWiccan]

That's literally not what this is, but go off, I guess.

[@veganWiccan]

@Trinket Mage No, that is not what Feminism "literally translates to". And, if you and your fellow mra/mgtow/whatever the hell ant-feminist Bitter Bettys knew a damn thing about what Egalitarianism actually is, then you would've long since discovered that Feminism aka Gender Egalitarianism (yes, you read that right) is an offshoot of...well...Egalitarianism, essentially. So, sorry, lads...turns out you can't have complete Egalitarianism without Feminism.

[@m0m055]

What is interesting though about Don Juan is that a French writer, Eric Emmanuel Schmitt, wrote a theater play where Don Juan gets redemption through falling in love with a young man. Implying that he could never be satisfied with women partly because he was, probably, gay (or at least bi). This version is the romantic gay af theatre play that I had been waiting for lmao.

[@barronjames.]

unfortunately this analysis is forgetting that women enable the ladies man so they have own up to the part they play in this game

[@espifreak]

You're a bit defensive over a film trope video.

[@barronjames.]

@@espifreak nice ad hominem. No not defensive just giving the complete picture because many these analyses get lost in ideology and forget about reality

[@warbler1984]

@Glenna Smith most erotic novels are written with this trope and they are written by women for women

[@veganWiccan]

Stop trying trying to foist responsibility for men's shitty behavior onto women. And, learn what Ad Hominem actually means.

[@kaykaylove3045]

@@warbler1984 True. Most erotic novels are full of the " virgin and the player" trope(or good girl bad boy) . It never made sense to me. Why are 40 year old women so enthralled by this type of man. He has an orgy on Monday and on Tuesday he suddenly meets "the one" and seamlessly transions into a monogamous relationship.

[@__-vb3ht]

You didn't mention the best ladies' man redemption movie out there: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Even when he literally earns "The Power of Love", true love for the right girl, he still can't win against Gideon, he still loses. He can succeed only when he earns " The Power of Self Respect" and takes accountability for his mistakes, for being a cheating ladies' man and hurting every girl he's ever been with. Watching it for the first time I was baffled why a character so in love with himself would need even more self respect, but then I understood that he didn't have any. He was in love only with his distorted view of himself, but he never had enough self respect to confront his true, messy persona

[@jessmith7324]

There's rarely ever one side at fault for these stereotypes. Theyre like black holes where something has to feed it in order for it to survive. While men are responsible for their own actions and how they treat women, the other side of the coin is that within the spectrum that is women (and men), there are some who continue to feed reward to these people. Thats a hard sell in today's age where everything is polarized into black and white, but that is the reality that consistently plays itself out. Good vid.

[@concernedcitizen6313]

If I recall correctly, and it has been a long time since I watched Mad Men, but Don Draper avoids this cliché by not ending up with "the one" but instead finding himself, through accepting and dealing with is vulnerability, at a wellness retreat and by connecting emotionally with another man at the retreat (the whole refrigerator analogy).

[@aC4900]

My absolite favorite "Ladies man" is Dr. Christian Troy from Nip / Tuck. I always thought of him as an antihero. Portrayed as flawed but also stable in his ways. Throughout the series he deals with death, loss, fatherhood, all due to his many female lovers. So much baggage and in the end, he never truly changes. And he sort of recognizes he is doomed and he accepts it anyway. anyway. I think a lot about relationships. I've had my own share of interactions but never anything long lasting. I sort of have always wanted to be the kind of man that can effortlessly be with many women. But I have found out that it is not in any way effortless. Being a ladies man IRL is like ballet. It seems effortless and many RL ones say it is easy, but the process of doing so involves more work than anything. You have to change your whole person and very few men are willing to put in effort to actually do it. But hey it is a goal to achieve one day before I die I suppose.

[@carlissaneumann8133]

Amazing, just when I think there's no more ideas you pull another one out of your hat! These videos are amazing ❤️

[@catalinagomezroca6257]

here is a concept, the ladie's man meets the cool girl, i would love to read something like that...

[@joaninha3484]

Catalina Robin and Barney from HIMYM.

[@mayitamuvavarirwa3326]

they should do a match up series where they examine how the movie archetypes of men and women behave with each other

[@manniking233]

That's that shit right there. Book it, man! 😅

[@dithaingampanmei]

They'll become best buddies, mature beyond sex, and become the ultimate platonic power couple😊

[@davidnavarro4821]

What if ladies’ man meets femme fatale ?

[@simplysubhiksha783]

What baffles about HIMYM is that in HIMYM, when Barney Stinson reformed and renounced his 'Casanova' ways, instead of truly realising how extremely creepy he was to women, the director shows us he has changed by him policing other women's decisions... It would have been better character development if he REALLY thought about he creepy he was than berate other women for their choices...

[@J2thePower0f3]

Daniel Craig is my favorite Bond for a reason. Having the women be a character alongside him that can stretch over multiple movies, instead of just being a sex prop in one movie and forgotten the next has been such a breath of fresh air. I’ll be sad to say goodbye after Bond 25 💔

[@sarizonana]

J2thePower0f3 but there is a problem with long time fans and this version of Craig makes me wonder if we are in the last years for this character. Okay it’s great they want to adapt the character to modern sensibilities but doesn’t doing it destroys the essence or the appeal of the character. Big part of why People loved that character is because. he was a ladies man and was always played by a handsome actor to make this believable now taking that out of him makes the character boring to the long time fans. I really wonder if Bond is an outdated character

[@MsZephyra]

Hmm, I had no idea. He just became less ugly to me, LOL

[@J2thePower0f3]

Sara Zonana I think Craig’s Bond is still a healthy amount of ladies man. You can love sex and being with many women and still show them respect-which I think they’ve balanced well with his portrayal. Daniel Craig presents him as being comfortable in his sexuality and masculinity that he doesn’t need to treat women as lesser. That alone makes him sexy IMO and I don’t feel he’s lost the characters essence by doing so 🤷‍♀️

[@sarizonana]

@@J2thePower0f3 Craig is really good and definitely looks masculine but it’s not him treating women with respect which makes the character loose it’s essence but with the exception of Skyfall they are giving the character a serious Love interest in Madeline and before her Vesper.

[@J2thePower0f3]

@@sarizonana and that may be so for some fans. I think that just comes down to personal opinion. I personally love that he’s had a couple love interests span more than one movie. I feel it adds depth to his character. Even ladies men can fall in love every once and a while. Doesn’t mean he’ll end up with them forever, he just was interested them longer. I can see someone not liking it though if they prefer his MO of the past. To me, his full love for Vesper and how she betrayed him explains why he wouldn’t open himself up to that again in the future. And he didn’t really until after Skyfall, which is the movie where I feel he had the most personal growth about his past. So after that movie I would argue it makes sense that he might be more open again to a longer relationship with Lea Sedeoux’s character. It might be less bond-esque, but I personally find it more interesting as a character arc over his movies. They feel a lot more connected together.

[@ol7980]

so much better than screenrant!! thank you sm!

[@recommended7796]

"Is there hope for the ladies' man?" Who said the ladies man needs hope? He is the hope of many men.

[@ais89x]

@dil oreo Sounds like you're shaming that person

[@JeffCrowl]

Really good, as always. And. RE 15:25 - Ethical non-monogamy is becoming increasingly-accepted as it's more broadly practiced. Media hasn't quite caught up yet, and Hollywood's narratives still take monogamy as the norm, but in reality, fewer and fewer people are trying to just find "the One." I'm kind of surprised the toxicity of men depending on women to change them didn't get more attention here. Then again, a video can only be so long. But as before, this was a great video, and thanks for creating it.

[@DarkPrject]

While the falling out of favor of this trope is a positive, the "finding The One and getting married trope" has its own problems, namely that it portrays the cisheteronormative monogamous vision of family as the only valid aspiration. As a gay, polyamorous, trans woman I find that problematic.

[@NinaNiterose86]

8:38 Looks just like the house in Two And A Half Men. Is it a coincidence that it pops up while they talk about punishing Ladies Men? xD

[@KaylaNoelle1]

I've never seen the appeal of a "ladies' man" ... but a few ladies' ladies have gotten my attention. They seem less threatening I guess, a girl took me in her arms at the club once and complimented my dancing. She was very confident but it wasn't aggressive and she asked before she put her hands on my hips. I feel like even if someone is promiscuous and very confident they'll still be well-liked as long as they are respectful... but a lot of the characters in this trope see people as non-human conquests and that's disgusting.

[@zanaekendall459]

Ahhh you actually listened to the recommendation I made I love this channel!!