The loneliest I ever felt _ No more need for hope is the end of the search [CLIP]

Patreon Clip from March 26, 2023 meeting
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The loneliest I ever felt _ No more need for hope is the end of the search
#nonduality #liberation #whatis #unconditionallove #endofseeking #endofsuffering #timeless #boundlessenergy #endofseparation #freedom #emptiness #enlightenment #awakening #nondualism #nondual #nodoer #nofreewill #noself ##oneness #nofear #endgame #whocares #purelife #purelove #adyashanti #ramanamaharshi #nisargadattamaharaj #neoadvaita #advaita #vedanta #mooji #advaitavedanta #papaji #ugkrishnamurti #tonyparsons #jimnewman #andreasmuller #eckharttolle #alanwatts #rupertspira #paulhedderman #lisacairns

[@francesb-p2441]

People keep alluding to their art being no longer as "significant" as before. I tried painting again and I could not find any motivation and couldn't produce anything interesting. It's as if the drive to create art is ego based. Perhaps in time one would just create without a reason. Just making art and being.

[@advaitc2554]

I bow and gassho to Lily for her courage to be real, vulnerable, honest and strong. Very inspiring.

[@will4486]

For real, all the videos with her are amazing

[@JustDontMove111]

​@@metislamestiza3708I think it's this...🙏

[@advaitc2554]

@@metislamestiza3708 It refers to hands in prayer pose. It's a Japanese word I learned in a Zen center.

[@annemarieslee7720]

For the character in the dream (or nightmare) a partner, a job, a house, a sense of community does have meaning. A lot. I lost my man through suicide in February, he was Scottish, we lived together in Rotterdam when he died. I am back in Scotland, the land that I love so deeply, and I live in a wee (as the Scots say) village on the coast, the sea a 30 second walk away. Dave and I lived here together. The people in the village are so welcoming and kind to me. I am trying to find a cottage here, Dave and me had to move a lot for various reasons, I need a real Home again (and yes, that's a dream, a 'real' Home, and death is a nightmare, for the person), I want to work again, as it gives my mind something else to think about then his blood on the apartment floor that my sister and me cleaned up. I have been on 'the spiritual path' for 20 years, seen it all, did it all, the books, the retreats, the f***ing yoga, the healthy food. Non duality teaching came 8 years ago, again, all the books, youtube vids, satsangs (in person and with youtube guys) (not so many women, you're wonderful Suzanne, so is Anna Brown). Dave died and I am waking up. Really seeing, feeling, observing that EVERYTHING matters to the person. Especially love and death. I am happy and grateful that I am back in bonnie Scotland, I go for job interviews and i am looking forward to work again. Life is f***ing hard, I lost so many people already, Dave is the third one through suicide, my parents are dead (really, not complaining here), and life is so so beautiful and so full of kindness and love. And yes, a partner is important and can bring more happiness (and sadness). We had a heaven and hell, toxic, codependent relationshipwreck, but it gave me all the insights and tools to be able to write this and to continue building up a wonderful life (whether that is real or not).

[@suzanne-chang]

Beautifully written Anne. Sending lots of love. ❤❤❤

[@tprevite]

It all seems so hopeless, but then I remind myself that we are here on this earth to FEEL EVERY FEELING. Feel the shedding of the notions that you attached to people/things/places. Feel every feeling without judgement. I have to force myself to FEEL it and not fight it or force what MY expectations were/are.

[@TPot1222]

So so grateful to Lilly for her vulnerability, courage and openness. She is putting words to so many experiences that have been apparent here as well. Thank you, Lilly ❤

[@joolslorien3936]

There’s still a sense of “me” but it feels very empty and meaningless compared to how it used to feel and I also feel very alone. Thank you both for sharing this conversation ❤

[@rjfranquiz]

Constant and/or intermittent free-fall! It's just what is...

[@ravenofthewild]

Lily, thank you for your willingness to be so vulnerable in front of us here. This being is 68 and in this same process of releasing the leftover sense of a me and as I watch your process it mirrors all the tricks of mind and shows me my own grasping at shadows and fears of just letting go. You may be physically alone (as is true here) but know in truth there is no true aloneness, only Oneness. Endless Blessings and thank you for sharing your journey.

[@tophness4ya]

You got this Lily! This is the hardest part, but it gets easier and better. Suzanne has you; her words and insight are on point! Clear your path because your untruths are being detached from you- and it sucks! The caterpillar has to dissolve to become a butterfly. Its apparent you are a warrior, and have all you need for this journey.

[@darladarlading]

Lily, you are so wonderful. Thank you for sharing your experience - and thanks to Suzanne for creating a safe space. ❤

[@HP-is-here]

Lilly ♥️ Somehow, Lilly always seems to capture exactly what’s happening here. So much gratitude and love for this vulnerable sharing!

[@addisonraines-rw2mj]

I just want to thank you for being an open space for those of us who are flowing through these various waves of what we construct as reality, thank you, and all the beautiful being ness that you embody.

[@danriffraff37]

Thank you you two for this beautiful open honest and vulnerable conversation... I can totally relate to a lot of what lily is going though... It is terrifying... All the things we been told would make us happy clearly don't and can't... A feeling of utter hopelessness can be felt.... A longing to return to what already is... Definitely the most pain I've ever felt also... I don't think I've cried so much in my entire life... Endless tears atm again thank you so much you two... Beautiful sharing and very grateful to be able to see it ❤️

[@forreal5448]

Being happy starts by having a healthy body. I can advice you to start by having good habits for your body, enough sleep, physical exercises, healthy nutrition (fruits, vegetables, should be 80% of what you eat and zero processed food). I can tell you that if your body doesn't feel good it's gonna trick your mind to some illusory psychological stories. As soon as you get your physical health right, now you can be sure that the remaining mental struggle is legit, not a trick. Then you can work on that. I've been there. Also I start to see science on this topic flourishing all around.

[@blessedsoul14]

True.

[@Sookhi_]

Big big hugs to you Lily! Yes, this journey of ripping everything apart feels so so painful at times. Nothing to hold on to. Disorientating. Scary. Nonsensical. I’m absolutely with you girl. And no other choice but to keep going. ❤

[@circusOFprecision]

This is why we create and hold onto beliefs, to overcome the painful paralysis caused by the realization that without filtering through our interpretation or derived meaning, there is no discernible purpose. Might as well use the tools we have available to survive through this ride.

[@HiluT]

❤watch you two feels like a therapy to me❤ thank you both ❤

[@jmk1578]

Another wonderful and greatly appreciated conversation! Thanks for sharing (and also for finding the 😺 a good 🏠, Lily)

[@naturalxpress]

Hey Lilly you are not alone, I feel that dozens if not hundreds of bodyminds go through this now. I recently tapped into beingness and this embraced all the suffering and positions of the mind. Beingness made total sense in my case its my saviour from all things worldly and it always here to rest in it. Rest in beingness. Can you not be? All passes good or bad but beingness is always here and all else is whats happening. Warm hugs from me. Love your work Suzanne ❤

[@yasminel-hakim4348]

all my love to both of you, Suzanne and Lily ❤️❤️

[@stefaniestrauss1182]

You are loved Lily ❤

[@leahedmonds8650]

Lily is saying all the things I thought only I had been feeling these past few months. Thank you so much for your honesty ❤️

[@ttenger6182]

Another way to think about your searching for "home" is that you are searching to belong in this world. But if you think of yourself as a puzzle piece...an important puzzle piece...you begin to realize that we are ALL necessary to create the puzzle...a better world....a beautiful world as God/ creator intended. Humans are all meant to be connected but it's not something humans can control although we try. We "belong" to each other ...

[@rjfranquiz]

A restful journey, yes! But definitely not "home". The "no choice" of what's happening and being endured... could be stated as "your head still in the tiger's jaw."(?) Heartbreak and dissatisfaction will pass, and become mundane, and yet beauty can be found everywhere. Enjoy the ride!

[@ralphluthy6695]

So much love, thanks for sharing deep truth, respect❤

[@jessehusband]

But paradoxically everything satisfies I feel… in self acceptance

[@darrylsanders6056]

If there is fear, there must be hope!

[@roninxxx5159]

We're here together

[@roninxxx5159]

We're here together

[@aditya21221]

When your attention is on Others apsent then you are Lonely When your attention is on Your Presence then you are Alone

[@ami156]

Lily is a champ

[@elektrotehnik94]

For real ❤️ And she's moving FAST - it might be that that is why there is so much hurt & "confusion intensity'. Here, there still often is grasping for a thing; thinking that there is a thing that is separate & that a union with it will fulfill "the separate me". That belief just comes soooo automatic... Sometimes it slips right in; most problematically, there starts to be a belief "that thought is mine", without thaz belief being noticed - until much later. Capacity to notice "the me" slipping in - that capacity being honed by meditation - seems increasingly important. 👍

[@ami156]

@@elektrotehnik94 yes very good it gets more subtle the feelings beliefs concepts. Seek help if there's a calling for it otherwise pierce them all like an arrow in the sky.

[@charlheynike9619]

I can relate to the search for "home" in another person.

[@TB-jg2oq]

Thank you for this gift

[@PetraKann]

When you reach the stage where you feel that you no longer need hope, then you have given up. Safe life means you stop learning.

[@marjf149]

I think there is a difference between giving up hope and not needing it. If you are content with yourself and everything in your life, what else to you need do hope for ?

[@roycohen.]

Realizing that nothing other than what is inside you can fulfill you basically destroys your entire identity because the separate self is built on the fulfillment of these desires. It's natural, in an odd way, to feel totally destroyed realizing you don't need anything to be happy!

[@lynbrowne931]

Beautiful conversation

[@ineffabledialect]

Thank youuuiuiuiuouu

[@timelessdreams5281]

Beautiful vulnerability expressions 😍🙏

[@ngocdo4536]

❤

[@gilbertlujan1220]

Interesting ! You know what’s strange your room seems devoid of life ( illusion ) such as pictures , plants things that represents any kind of joyfulness but yet have a mirror , and what s grange is that GLOB on top of what seems to be a bookshelf , is there any book in it ? However ! That GLOB is interesting because it represents a place we live , on with every thing in it it’s like you hold on to that notion , and that mirror as to look to see if you are really there , to confirm a reality Have you noticed that !

[@roninxxx5159]

Good 2 c u

[@deni0404]

“Deep calls to Deep”

[@lancerebo952]

If you don’t mind sharing, I’m curious what spiritual/meditation practice you both use? Is it vipassana meditation?

[@eriklips]

Love to Lilly❤️Suzanne❤️

[@lubosjanosik2219]

Yes its so...

[@georgeshepherd3381]

Remembering Ken Wulber saying he found doing spiritual stuff to be lonely

[@MaxwellEdison33344]

I am so alone

[@charlesandrews6290]

Lily, You are not there. There is no person.

[@shawn6306]

I think there is nothing wrong if we used our imagination making things up i always knew that everything we say and do is made up that's not scary to me at all i love and embrace it for what it is i do resonate what you and most say it just is i think that's an amazing day i always love imagination i do competely agree and resonate some that say our imagination and dreams is more real than this martix reality and even when we close our eyes too see nothing is also the real true actual world to me and yes sure everything we say believe may be made up story that everything is real and not real at the sametime but that doesn't mean it's not real that it's all in illusion that's just me but if some of you guys think it's all made up that's fine and just like i think it's fine if some think it's not made up at all that it's real

[@WingZeroSymphonics]

✌️

[@circusOFprecision]

Is she grieving the loss of herself?

[@pauladiaz7101]

Im not afraid of aloneness so why don't people disappear and stop interfering? They are always the.ones.disturbing being

[@carolaklass5393]

I'm not sure how to state this, but I'll try. Lily, I perceive you as very negative, and lacking in gratitiude. I'm not an awakened being, although I strive for that. In my unawakened state, I'm wary of negative or ungrateful beings, as I intuitively feel they're leading me in the wrong direction. In watching this, I'm working towards being unconditionally loving, and nonjudgemental, however I've not reached that state.

[@diniwinger3174]

Hey Carola, I just wanted to hop on and say that I definitely understand how you’re perceiving things and want to offer the perspective of myself who can heavily relate to where Lily is at. When a person is stripped of everything they have known in this lifetime, all of the stories programmed since birth, all of the hopes and dreams based on worldly fulfillment, their entire perception of reality, the safety of thinking others know what theyre talking about and have life (and death) figured out, the comfort of things(food, material possessions, drugs, other people, etc) it is very terrifying. And I would say very terrifying is an understatement. Existential questions start to come up that scare the living shit out of you. (Am I the only real person? Is this all in my imagination? Am I dead? Am I going to die now that I’ve reached this point? What is the point of life then? If nothing outside of myself is going to satisfy my innate craving for comfort and safety and being loved, that feels very lonely and unfair and horribly depressing.) While choosing to see the positive in life is also my prerogative, it is necessary to acknowledge and feel the negative that comes up as to not suppress it. Great lessons are usually taught through “darkness”. So while this may look negative in disposition in the video, I assure you, this is what doing the work looks like. It’s facing yourself, facing the truth of what you’re feeling rather than pretending you’re not scared shitless. It’s going through the depths of the darkness and coming out the other side with a new perspective on life and a masters degree so to speak in whatever you where responsible for facing. Spirituality in my opinion is not about positivity. It’s about unconditional loving acceptance and awareness. Love your darkness as much as your light and find the lessons in all of it. At the end of the day if everything is one, darkness is light and deserves to be appreciated for the wisdom that it holds. Just to wrap up, I’m not suggesting we lean into negativity and spiral into pessimism. I’m simply saying that we don’t have a choice in the matter of the ups and downs of life and what we resist persists, so it is not only important to face your fears but impossible not to the longer you walk the conscious path. I hope that long winded note made sense and I’m sending heaps of love to you! Xoxo

[@carolaklass5393]

@@diniwinger3174 Thanks for sharing your perspective and experience. It's definitely helpful while I'm trying to realize my consciousness. I do see the value in accepting all experience, so (ironically?) I'm accepting my feeling about this video.

[@kimberlytrent5245]

​@@diniwinger3174❤️❤️🙏🙏 Thank u for this..I appreciate you... you described exactly what I have been experiencing. Is this the end goal of living the human experience, I wonder? There isn't much left in my life that makes me feel happy. Or content. I feel like I'm in a waiting pattern but I don't know for what. It's quite miserable. 😢