The Lonely Convert, The Lonely Jew- Interview with Rabbi David Bar-Hayim

Interview with Machon Shilo's Rabbi David Bar-Hayim
Visit us at www.MachonShilo.org
Want to find out about Rabbi David Bar-Hayim's Eretz-Yisraeli, geula-mode approach to Torah? You MUST read the following:
machonshilo.org...
Find it difficult to understand why some Ashkenazim do not eat kitniyot on Passover? Watch the following interview with Rabbi David Bar-Hayim:
• Gearing up for Pesach ...

[@benavraham4397]

I converted to Judaism 46 years ago in Jerusalem at age 18. It was very lonely and diffecult. A convert to Judaism must be a strong person inside. It is said that a convert is like a new born baby. I feel that is true. My life started over again, and what I had from before was not of much use. My old self died. I developed into a new person. HaShem wants converts to Judaism. It is not enough having Jews that were born Jewish. Every convert must keep in mind, "I am doing a specific service for HaShem that only I as a convert can do. My dumb questions must be asked, and people must break their heads to answer them. I make mistakes and learn. I am here to show that Judaism is more than family trdition. Judaism the the truth, which is higher than any family bond. Just as Abraham and Sara left their tribe to follow HaShem, I personally follow in their path."

[@elenatramsti5176]

My friend, you bring fresh and important thought and energy to the Jewish people. I am sorry it was lonely and difficult but we Jews can become quite insular and very often our religious practice is more out of habit and family tradition than religious and spiritual dedication. Our culture is often more important than our religion. We also deal with an innate feeling that non-Jews are different from us and it takes time to accept them and let our guard down. This is our fault -- not that of the converts but please understand why that is. Most Jews were brought up in an atmosphere where they were taught about all the difficulties and persecutions their parents, grandparents and more distant relatives went through and this has affected us very much. We consider that heritage to be as important as the religion itself. It is often very difficult for born Jews to understand why others would want to become a Jew, being as it is so hard and often quite lonely. Thank you for your strength, wisdom and most of all your presence in our tribe.

[@RickArendt]

"I am here to show that Judaism is more than family tradition..." Wow... well said and so very true!

[@mikecitgo2939]

Excellent, well put. Right on. I talked to a lady from Yisrael who lived on a kibbutz. I listened for Over 90 minutes to her Father's escape from the Nazis. WOW, I was taken Back. What a History? And what a Miracle? I thought. Then I asked her respectfully 3 questions about the Scriptures. She did not know how to answer. I was dumbfounded. Then the Almighty opened my eyes. She knows well Tradition and suffering . You know the Plain Scriptures. There is a Place for You.. You must listen to the stories of suffering and appreciate the tradition. So I learned that Converts can add a living faith to Yisrael. Hallel-u-YaH 😃

[@AntonellaLeventhal]

Very true and noble words

[@monikadzido8270]

Wspaniale bracie. Niech HaSchem Ci błogosławi.!

[@heatherwiner2883]

I am lonely because I am a single woman without a Jewish family. Judaism is more geared towards the family. On Friday night there is no one to have a Shabbat dinner with or to even light the candles. Very difficult as all of these customs or practices are not reinforced with me. I am lonelier now than before I converted.

[@annmajor379]

Do you live near a university with a Hillel? I understand what you are saying and I have often lived in small communities where Hillel is a great place to find a Jewish community although summers are quiet. There may be other single Jews in your community who may be looking for an opportunity to share Shabbat. It might be an opportunity to start a small group that gets together once or twice a month.

[@heatherwiner2883]

***** Thanks for replying. Is Hillel just for college students? I am middle aged. there are very few single Jews in my community. I don't even think they celebrate Friday night Shabbat. I think I need to move closer to Boston to a bigger community. Not possible right now because I can not leave my elderly mother. I had always heard how welcoming Jewish people were to their homes for Shabbat. I have yet to be invited to one Shabbat dinner but I have been invited to a Passover dinner.

[@wrestlersnotdivas2172]

From what did you convert?

[@heatherwiner2883]

Wrestlers Not Divas Christian. Mother is Protestant. Father was Jewish.

[@annmajor9034]

If you have access to Skype, we can light candles on Friday. If Skype is not an option, we can use the phone.

[@aquariusfriar]

It's very hard when you convert and don't have any Jewish family. That's been my experience.

[@debrapaulino918]

Little did I know @age 6 this is where my journey would bring me. I now realize how pivotal and big it was to firmly for all time and in a nano second never teach my children if ever I them that.there is a Santa. B'H to my soul. I left all of it.

[@debrapaulino918]

I relate to the loneliness. It's complicated.

[@onebraveheartlion]

I've been so welcome by the members of our local synagogue. Maybe join a Torah study group if you haven't.

[@heatherwiner2883]

I can join all the clubs and do all the things and it is still lonely on Shabbat and holidays. Why I wanted to make Aliyah. I go to Shabbat and minyan services regularly but it does not make up for the loneliness.

[@ark-mark1]

This Rabbi is very, very wise. This is pure inspiration of God, genuine wisdom that is not corrupted by one´s ego! Shalom! May God bless your path!

[@thomasrussell4674]

Rabbi David Bar-Hayim, you are a man of true sincerity! A true pure hearted person. Respect to you.

[@MusicUnlimited-ff9uf]

I converted Reform and 47 years later decided to go Orthodox. It took me a couple a years and I studied like crazy. Most people were nice, but some are very critical. I will not go into details but it was quite an experience. I was told by some that only way to be a Jew is by birth. I study more now. Carole Bracha Paul

[@ruthietaylor8756]

Bless you and welcome!

[@michalptacnik1]

The Jew by birth part should be seen as completely bogus of a statement as far as I understand things.

[@Eliav-b7c]

There's not a Jew on the planet who can say that they are positively / factually descended from Yaacov . ... Every single Jew has converts in their lineage !

[@chashmal10]

No such thing as “converted Reform”

[@chatisawasteoftime]

@@Eliav-b7c And you know this, how?

[@mizrachi35]

This is an old recording but it still very much resonates with me in 2019. I was told at the time of my conversion that I was a free agent and not any specific community, nusach, etc. I eventually chose to be Sephardic because of very strong personal reasons. I have seen the ignorance of both rabbi and laymen. It’s said but it makes me proud to know that I have what to relay on halachikaly. Humans are human whether they are Jewish or otherwise.

[@Heather-ig6lp]

So very sad....

[@NoRushpk]

You have explained why, after so many years of searching for Truth and finding the Torah, I was brought ever further from God and plunged ever deeper into Spiritual darkness, both in the USA and most extremely in Israel. Im not sure converting is worth it. Thank you Rabbi..You mean much to many of us

[@charlotteskiftun753]

Indiana John I m saddened by this as i want to convert....searching for more deeper truths

[@charlotteskiftun753]

Indiana John ...i pray things improve greatly for you

[@NoRushpk]

Charlotte Skiftun Thanks. Yes, I now see that it doesnt matter what the community is about. I distance myself from non truth seekers - they turn the label into darkness by thinking Jew = Truth. A Jew has nothing to do with truth anymore than any other person, it only depends on the individual to search for truth or not. I have Torah. Dont need Israelites. Only God.

[@newnewsbrooklyn1513]

I was told by a great rabbi the lubavitcher rebbe, to look at the ideals in judaism and not the people. But the trouble is you live among the people

[@debrapaulino918]

@@NoRushpk non truth seekers are from every persuasion in life. Has nothing to do with religion or no religion but everything to do with spirit. People generally are simply not open because it may require adjusting one's beliefs and that's dangerous. So they do not respond with friendship because you're a threat no matter how nice you are. It means keeping yourself to yourself no matter where you are or who you're talking with.

[@YisroelAvrahm]

Very good explanation. Thank you for your Torah class on your perspective.

[@bernardorodriguez4285]

I also must say that you are the calmest person I have ever seen!

[@kwyzi]

Thankfully, I converted over 40 years ago. It was and is marvelous. I would have benefited from more Talmud but being a woman did not get enough. I get it now with through amazing lectures so it is a happy story.

[@richardhankse6450]

You're right 💯, I agree with you. I'm a newly converted family of Jews, It has been 1yr for me without a Jewish family. Judaism is more geared toward the family. On Friday night there is no one to have a stab at dinner with or to even light the candles.

[@tonyrandall3146]

That is nice to hear, approaching now 50 years, I hope you are enjoying a blessed life with the community.

[@DonZusyaGoodman]

Baruch Hashem!!! A very brave approach to a problem that will not go away until the wonderful element of Teshoova permeates our hearts and minds!!!

[@devinagrace1999]

Thank you

[@margarita8416]

thank you for encouraging us to be more involved with different opinions

[@benavrahamyitzchak8433]

I'm a convert. I keep the commands. Yet as a cappuccino colour Jew I'm not welcome. It's tough but I never quit

[@benavrahamyitzchak8433]

@Green 98 what is your religion? Excellent words of encouragement

[@zlcju]

@@benavrahamyitzchak8433 How are you not welcome? In Africa, they don't believe Jews can be "white"

[@leohochhauser]

Check out all the different hues of brown in skin color of Israeli Jews. Also, check out Capers Funnye, rabbi of the Ethiopian Hebrew Congregation of Chicago.

[@emilia3310]

Bullshit. There are many people who claim that real Jews can't be white. Stop this victim mentality.

[@ericlevy4155]

Move to NYC and you're good. :)

[@psjasker]

What a deeply reflective and thoughtful man!

[@levi7187]

Thank you Rabbi Bar-Hayim! I have decided to leave Christianity and I hope that whatever Rabbi does my conversion is as openminded as you are!

[@elenatramsti5176]

I don't know why you are leaving Christianity but keep in mind that when you do so, you are leaving a community and a social support system. This is not easy. Being Jewish in an overwhelmingly Christian environment can be very lonely. Religion is as much a social endeavor as it is a spiritual or intellectual one. Being Jewish carries with it a lot of heavy emotional stuff -- especially in times of unrest and turmoil which we are in the midst of. Have you thought of being a Noahide?

[@calmend2449]

As a convert i must admit that it is not that Jews do not accept converts, they DO accept converts, but they key is that they are looking for originality in a convert. many people want to convert to judaism sometimes because of other reasons such as access to money, or fame or a spouse who is forcing conversion. I think if someone wants to convert to judaism, it MUST COME FROM THE HEART.

[@charlotteskiftun753]

cal mend yes

[@Chanaaaaa442]

Agree

[@sylviesauvageau6553]

Even that way, after 5 years, alone. Nobody will helps for Shidduchim. And yes, I am welcomed but I truly feel I will never be enough....

[@fancyfred]

I know of a orthodox convert who was told by a Chabad rabbi that he couldn't be a Jew if he didn't believe the Lubavticher Rebbe was Moshiach.

[@Chanaaaaa442]

There are many crazy people out there.. not everyone with titul or hat knows everything

[@luizfranca420]

In other words, you must believe in false Mashiach

[@sylviesauvageau6553]

Chabad have their own customs. They are very welcoming, still I do not consider myself Chabadnik. I am a convert and so Jewish woman. Not Chabad, no Breslev, just Jewish. And YOU ARE a real Jew even if you don't say that the Rebbe is Moshiah, wich he is NOT. Keep going.

[@AchShelishi]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 delusional

[@msnetarose]

Thank you for this intelligent response to such a sensitive topic.

[@yaaqovasher]

this is why i love Rav Bar-Hayim's approach. we have a chance to unite as one by leaving certain differences thay were picked up in galuth behind and adopting minhagim of Eretz Yisrael from long ago.

[@orchidsrosesg_disone4431]

I am studying for Converting! My great grandfather was Jewish but fully assimilated away from ✡️ Judaism.

[@caseystevens445]

The love of Torah, Hashem and Israel is sincerely what drives my passion for conversion. Situations such as the one you described are incredibly discouraging and questionable. I'd hope that nor any other would be put in such a compromising situation . There is always a better way.

[@wandatierman125]

As a convert to Judaism, the convert is not accepted easily. And hardships are difficult for the convert. Such as moving into pricey Jewish neighborhoods, Not having a Yeshiva education and looked down upon isn't exactly comforting. When a person loses compassion, their religion, is worthless. I buck the waves on both sides, Christians and Jews. Love is greater than a haughty heart. I will preserver. B'H

[@satoshibitcoinsaki6532]

They are converts too. The Ashkenazis converted in kaazaaria 800 years ago according to my friends Winthrop and Humberto. They have no right to look down on you! They are not from the Middle East either.

[@Mtdna5]

Dror Levi that’s not true. King David great grandmother Ruth was a convert, Moses wife was a convert, onkelos was a convert and many of the rabbis were descendants of converts. By Heaven what you say astonishes me. What ignorance and such words violate the Torah commandment to accept the convert as a fellow equal Jew and to love the convert. All modern Jewish communities have convert blood in them, why do you think Russian Jews look white and Moroccan Jews darker. May Hashem forgive your arrogance.

[@LiaK1306]

@@Mtdna5 Bless you for proclaiming the truth. Some self-proclaimed Jews by "blood" are truly a shame to Judaism. Saintly hypocrites, arrogant bullies, racist and ignorant. In another post he trashed converts by saying "they were just slaves" to true jews and to go back to their own race.

[@BertGraef]

@Dror Levi Talmudism is not biblical Judaism.

[@RudydeGroot]

@@BertGraef There can never be such a thing as 'biblical' talmudism. Judaism is not based on the christian bible with all its (deliberate) faulty translations. Judaism is based on tenach which was carefully copied from generations to generations.

[@danamarcotteseiler7423]

Empowering and Very clarifying

[@bobrien1108]

Thank you

[@amoswittenbergsmusings]

Full disclosure: I am a convert since age 24. I'm 71 years old now with many many children and grandchildren who, praise God, are your regular citizens of the Jewish people, of the "yeshivish" hue. I have not personally experienced the things discussed in this video but i recognise them very well. My take on the matter is that we Jews tend to identify Judaism with the Jewish way of life. In truth, there is the *faith* if Israel and there is the *people* of Israel. They are not synonymous. Many converts, especially those like myself who found Torah *because of* their discovery of real biblical truth, embrace the faith before embracing the people. Gentiles should realise that converts are the only people on earth who *must* embrace both. Born Jews are Jews even when, God forbid, atheists. Gentiles can embrace the faith without the peculiar way of life and are often well advised to choose that path.

[@rivkacoverdale9672]

Thank you. Your words are very thoughtful and considerate.

[@richardhankse6450]

You're right 💯, I agree with you. I'm a newly converted family of the Jews, It has been 1yr for me.

[@hannahoron9740]

Since my 17th year I wanted to convert to Judaism, only to be rejected time after time. Since my 39th I actively studied halacha according to a list of books given to me by a rabbi, also I read Hebrew at university and lived according to halacha as far as possible. I am now 59 and don´t have the energy anymore because I suffer from chronic depression. Now the rabbi´s say that I am not motivated enough ... I cannot understand this ... really I don´t.

[@tbishop4961]

Noah didn't ask any rabbi's permission to enter into covenant with God. Neither did Abraham Too many people trying to be the gatekeepers of his kingdom

[@adlevhashamayim4694]

Whoa that is insane. If you’re still interested I am sure my rabbi would love to help you find someone. My heart goes out to you.

[@avalerie4467]

Ask the shul if they are offering Torah classes for Noachides. I know most Chabad Houses do. Chabad does not do conversions, but very welcoming to the Noachides. Also, you may be interested in the Noachide World Center in Jerusalem The Rosh Yeshiva is Rav Oury Choukry ( my spelling may be wrong, i apologize). There are some things Noachides are not obligated to keep, but we keep Sheva Mitzvot HaChem. Shalom

[@AchShelishi]

​@@tbishop4961 in order to convert you need a bet din which is made of 3 rabbis, before that you must study with a rabbi

[@bernardorodriguez4285]

This internal conflict between Jewish lineages and traditions is so toxic. Thanks for your video.

[@bwiener5711]

13:00 woow!!! So so so good!! Beautiful words amazing video!!

[@anthonyben-yah]

WITH THE LORD I CAN DO ALL THINGS. ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER, AMEN AND AMEN, HALLELU YAH!

[@ahavahyisrael]

I am hearing in this video that what the rabbi is saying stems from the fact that Jews these days are suffering from a disconnect from our traditions after the Shoah and because of assimilation, and so we don't generally feel confident about our traditions, and in fact become suffocating in our need to be "correct" halachically, since so many Jews are baalei teshuvah, and since there is a problem with tearing away from the center and making up our own mini 'religions', so a perceived need for conformity becomes widespread and oppressive.

[@ladanweheliye5688]

Insightful. Good Shabbos, Rabbi David!

[@mariaearthangel7251]

It is arrogant to reject a serious convert as they have made a soul discussion to follow the truth and have been awakened to the laws and commitments of God... It wrong to generalize the person until the person has been given the opportunity to learn and follow for many souls are searching for to follow the truth

[@sennahoj777]

Thanks for the warning!

[@heidivernathorbjornsen475]

Thank You, Rabbi.

[@RhonaDavis-lz3qp]

🎉 Very troubling content rabbonim should be more flexible particularly with converts but also with others.we have lost our individuality.

[@yaaqovasher]

i have been loved and accepted by my community bit i have been told things like, 'you cannot choose to follow the Rambam' or 'you cannot practice Torah in a Temani way' you must not eat kitniyot on Pesach, etc. with HaShem's help, i found Rav Bar-Hayim and he has helped me tremendously. thank you Rav for your kindness to gerim!

[@littlebird2037]

⁰0

[@sheilaginsberg-mu3to]

Free me now

[@sheilaginsberg-mu3to]

Go to the Sephardic tab kid . Crabbiis

[@sheilaginsberg-mu3to]

Rabbis. Lthis is not9908$?,, do good 9

[@samuelralphallen7450]

BRAVO RABBI ! I was a fundamental Christian for sixty years, and throughout those years, I always felt misguided. But after fifteen months of pursuing conversion, and when I volunteered to serve the synagogue with my skills and was fully accepted by the top officers - my Rabbi kicked clean across street (i.e. rejection). The message I received is converts are second-class Jews. Why couldn't this Rabbi be my mentor?

[@BertGraef]

+Samuel Ralph Allen you mistakenly converted to Talmudism. Christianity is true bible Judaism. Talmudism is the religion of antichrist.

[@samuelralphallen7450]

Right - and your polyethylene messiah will save us all.

[@BertGraef]

+Samuel Ralph Allen you are hoodwinked by Talmudists who hate the only Messiah they will ever get, polyethylene or not.

[@samuelralphallen7450]

I have only one God: Adonai-Elohim or Hashem Maleck - yours is a construction of men with creative minds and ulterior motives.

[@samuelralphallen7450]

We should never degrade another religion unless it attacks our own - and then only insofar as it does attack our own

[@ayrsine]

This video has helped tremendously because I am that kind of person. The type that thinks and thinks critically and also one who respects the rule of law. However, as an ex-Christian I have suffered a lot of heartache and mental anguish over how easily one can be fooled and how much that changed my life indefinitely and the lives of those around me. So I would NEVER take lightly impositions from a self righteous attitude or person toward how I express my love for Hashem and Judaism. I have an eternal debt to Judaism for “saving” me out of Christianity, ironically.

[@1995yuda]

Judaism is indeed the ONLY "religious" home for true seekers and critical thinkers and people who don't/won't believe but demand to KNOW things. You come to Judaism when you want the REAL stuff. 4,000 years ago Judaism started as a counter-religious religion hellbent on cleansing humanity from magical thinking and false beliefs and idolatry and indeed the mission has been successful.

[@luisreyes6315]

after hearing this I will only convert sephardic I have heard to many things about how ashkenazim treat converts differently like tring to marry them to other converts i hoped in my heart its because they were hoping for another akiva like teacher to emerge but no its because they think their souls come from different places when for most of my life ive heard jews say that all jews and converts are part of the same souls that were on mount sinai

[@yourrealitycheck7464]

Luis Reyes x

[@my2cents49]

Ashkenazim tend to be harsh to their community members in general. There aren't several branches of Sephardim; a rabbi must meet all the Jews in the area. Among Ashkenazim and Hasidim, there are many branches to accommodate the biases of each community...

[@satoshibitcoinsaki6532]

Sephardim are the real Jews!

[@margaritakleinman5701]

@@satoshibitcoinsaki6532 And the Mizrahim especially.

[@AchShelishi]

Better do Sfardi, Mizrahi or Syrian

[@BuckshotLaFunke1]

Dear Rabbi, many thanks for your sincere opinion. In the wake of Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav's teaching and a Jewish philosopher such as Jacques Derrida I feel that the answer is the enemy of the question, if it does not lead to a new question. I hope I understood you well. Best to you.

BuckshotLaFunke1 Derrida the radical leftist?

[@BuckshotLaFunke1]

Mmmm... Derrida the postmodern philosopher.

[@ankuchaskathesalmon9428]

I like this rabbi

[@72Yonatan]

Even a Jew who converts to another faith and repudiates his Judaism is considered Jewish by us. He has simply lost his mind and we hope it is temporary. But nothing about his behavior is considered "Jewish" or commendable. His behavior itself is not the issue. The identity of a person is from the level of the soul, the neshumah. and it is a spiritual identity, not a physical one.

[@72Yonatan]

The Teimanim do posken like the Rambam, what are you saying here? Once something is cooked, it is cooked and that is it. Therefore it is permissible to put a cooked soup on a plata for Shabbat, and it is not considered as cooking any longer. Everyone else demands that only solid objects be placed on a plata.

[@Achdus5772]

My husband and I are Orthodox converts. Since then we have been part of a MO congregation. But I must tell you, I do not like the labels and the discrimination and friction between Jews that it causes. We have a Chabad near by and some have said they wouldn't step foot into the place. Apparently they don't have good enough education as higher degrees and places like Harvard and Yale rank higher than righteous Torah observance. This said despite the fact the rabbi there recently was tested for and became a Dayan in Israel. No wonder we are all still in galut without a Temple.

[@MOOSEDOWNUNDER]

Hi, I was born a Jew but British Jew of Finnish/German heritage, did not really learn much about it until i was much older, Mum was Jewish and Dad so 100% legit. Later in life (after marrying a Ozzie Catholic) i decided to go back to my faith, i live in Melbourne now and am welcome in Conservative and Orthodox Shul's. I work all over the world and have always found the Chabad houses welcoming, my Hebrew is pants, i did not know the prayers or what to do, i was just honest with the Rabbi and said "hay, im a crap jew but i am trying to get better" The Chabad Rabbi's in Colombo Sri Lanka, Lagos Nigeria and even Algeirs Algeria laughed and welcomed me to Shabbat dinner. Thats a Chabad house to me. Not sure if its the Finnish connection? they were Chabad but i knew nothing about it. lol. Give it a go and be honest with the Rabbi's.

[@rightcheer5096]

Sounds just like my Baptist church, only with less of a knitting circle of church ladies.

[@rachelvatcher4368]

Toda Rabbah Rabbi for all your teachings. I'm living in Trinidad here we do not have a synagogue or much Jewish people, I'm seeking to be converted, how can that happen when I live in a country that is in such great exile? can you please help me, my husband and I are coming to Israel in August of this year, can we please meet with you? we need help.

[@rabinato]

Hello there, sorry for a late comment on that video, I didn't know the rabbi's work before - most ideas you preach are rather impressive and match pretty much most that I've learned in my family, so I've been delving in my comfort zone until now - but here in this present video you've left me perplexed with this one question concerning the convert who wished to pray according to a different custom - and I'm sort of restless on that point. I mean: let's suppose such a candidate for conversion would join my congregation (I'm from a sefaradic descent) - and if I were to help him all throughout the conversion process, teach him customs and halachas and do, so to say, the hard work, just for him to leave at any moment and go for his life elsewhere, where some of the customs I gave myself the trouble to teach him will be left behind to meet his destination wherever it may be - wouldn't this be comparable somewhat to a son leaving behind his rabbi's/father's customs? And wouldn't it be more logical he goes wherever he thinks is the right place for himself a go through his conversion process there, where he'll meet the practices which he is ultimately to adopt? Wouldn't I feel like I'm cleaning other people's laundry, such as helping him for an interested purpose, not for heavens sake, only for aliyah purposes? well thank you for answering provided you have time for that. רוב ברכות ,תזכו לרב טוב ולעלות לגדולה!

[@jvnd2785]

Hello. I think you are right asking these questions- for they are perfectly valid ones. It is us, converts, who are here to learn, with all the humbleness that comes with it. Being humble is the key here. I cannot just come to a community that has kept certain traditions for thousands of years and then break the rules and pretend that I know better than the people I am supposed to love. It's disrespectful and unnecessary. I liken it to my experience from the past: I used to live and work on native reservation among one of the fiercest nations known to the humankind, the Dakhóta (Native American) people. A warm-hearted and generous people, but they do have some rules that everybody has to keep. One of these rules is that you never ever look directly into the eyes of an elderly person (it is considered a sign of bad manners and of aggression). You are not supposed to look at them at all but keep your gaze down and listen with your ears. It may be an odd request for somebody from a different background/culture but these are the rules by which the people live. And so you do what their cultural norms dictate. You don't have an attitude and stare into people's eyes. It's basic respect. You do not go and tell a native grandma (a word that's used for any elderly woman, not just a relative) who generously provided good things and many teachings to you that she doesn't have all the answers and that you know better/more about her own traditions than herself. Same thing with the convert who was unhappy with the Ashkenazi traditions. The community provided many good things for him- yet he decided to do "his own thing" and walk out on them. That's disrespectful. As converts we are here to sit and listen and learn from those who know more. Can we ask questions? Sure. But we should always ask them with the ability to listen to the answers and with a good dose of humbleness. That's what it means to love somebody.

[@honeysweetnectar]

this was a great video, thank you.

[@PublicTVChannel]

I want to convert to juidism a d want to marry you

[@JIBos]

Amin!

[@kristokirov]

Great video!

[@FaveORitt]

Any lonely people here from the Atlanta area?

[@TheMalka770]

I was very disappointed hurt an outrageed to see a sign with my own eyes in a synagogue on Ocean parkway in Brooklyn saying that converts are not welcome . They had made a decree due to intermarriage but I still find it unexcusable it seems anti-tora being as Messiah comes from Ruth. Moshiach now

[@AchShelishi]

This goes against G-d

[@orchidsrosesg_disone4431]

A Lot of Jews DONT realize YOUR SUPPOSE TO LOVE THE CONVERT LIKE YOU LOVE HASHEM, THERE IS ACTUALLY SERIOUS REPERCUSSIONS IF YOU TREAT A CONVERT BADLY , YOU’LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH HASHEM DIRECTLY BECAUSE HASHEM IS BOTH A FATHER AND MOTHER TO A CONVERT. BETTER BE CAREFUL WHOSE TOES YOU STEP ON, HASHEM PROTECTS AND CHERISHES THE CONVERT…..

[@shlomolawrence6695]

On Point

[@edhollis3]

Why is it recorded that those who convert to Judaism is dearest to him? I've been discriminated in the past and I will make a video soon. I was turned away for nine years and many Synagogue. P ray tefillin, read Hebrew. I enjoy going to mencah prayers.

[@aryebognar6663]

Does the Rav give an interview on texts relevant to how we should treat the ger?

[@Yahuah222]

The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God. Leviticus 19:34

[@ShayPatrickCormacTHEHUNTER]

Ger refers to a non Israeli citizen.. Has nothing to do with converts...

[@josephr.gainey2079]

7:08 What happened to this convert?

[@David-tu4dn]

From everything that I'm seeing in the world right now and understanding that we're going into the 11th shemitah year I don't believe I have time to fully convert to Judaism before the end but I would like to understand if this is a lie to that the branch that was broke off for the Gentiles to be grafted in is this a lie too also the red- lettered words in the New Testament truth or lie?

[@yaaqovasher]

my personal advice to the convert is to learn the ways of the community you are in and respect them and do what you believe is most correct in private at home, with the guidance of a good Rav.

[@truthhitman7473]

Ezekiel 16:3 - 9 And say, Thus saith the Lord God unto Jerusalem; Thy birth and thy nativity is of the land of Canaan; thy father was an Amorite, and thy mother an Hittite.

[@TheAnuchild]

Yes it is heartbreaking and life damaging.

[@remi1239]

Dear Rabbi, if this might comfort you: not only the study of the Thora is for people who don't like to think. That is also the case with the new testament and with the koran. And yes, indeed and like you said: more critical people go their own way (which doesn't mean they're not religious).

[@rafaelmadrigal1534]

Upon being curious about my last name I been searching at times for any lead that might answer my question. Recently I found that my last name is linked to the Jews who resided in Spain in the 1500 AD. Spain gave them a choice, drop your Jewish last name and take a Christian one from the name of the town you reside in. The name of the town was and still is, Madrigal de las Altas Torres. Their choice was take a Christian or or leave Spain. My question now is, where do I stand today?

[@johnhummasti2440]

Anusim must be circumcised and immerse in a mikvah and accept all the 613 Mitzvoth of the Torah to be accepted as Jews. That is the short answer ...!

[@RudydeGroot]

@@johnhummasti2440 They can't (accept the 613 mitzwoth). Almost halve of the 613 mitzwoth is based upon the temple service. And as we all know, the temple service is not performed nowadays.. EDIT: They can ACCEPT the mitzwoth, but they can't KEEP them (all)..

[@johnhummasti2440]

@@RudydeGroot You misunderstand my reply: Someone whose ancestors were forced to abandon Judaism; to be accepted as a Jew - that person must accept the obligation of the 613 Mitzvoth (there is no "w" sound in Hebrew), be circumcised if they are a male and immerse in a Mikveh. The Temple Service is still an obligation devolving on the whole community along with the rest of the commandments (Mitzvoth)!

[@RudydeGroot]

@@johnhummasti2440 I don't think I misunderstood. There are 613 mitzwoth and most of them rely on temple services which are not kept.. So neither a converted Jew or a geer is able to keep them..

[@moreoptions9071]

That doesn't mean that you yourself descend from the same Madrigal families. Its a latin origin name

[@gigachad2221-g4n]

Speaking as an Orthodox Christian, I appreciate your honesty in admitting your actual views on my faith being a "lie" and a "distortion of the Bible". As gravely mistaken as I believe you to be, at least you're honest.

[@AchShelishi]

You're delusional buddy. Your faith is a lie, and a disaster, and of course a distortion. And it's pure idolatry. Your guy didn't fulfill a single messianic prophecy, didn't descend from David, he wasn't anything special, just brought wars and confusion. It's santa claus for adults

[@jimdeane3667]

The true Ger Tzedek (convert to Judaism) feels like they don’t fit in, not because of some emotional or intellectual distinctions, but because they are different in spiritual makeup. A true Ger Tzedek is the manifestation of the whole, Klal Yisrael. This follows the general principle in the Torah of ‘klal and prat’. This was brought before Moshe Rabbeinu and his court concerning the convert in the Torah known as the ‘Ben Yisraelite’. The convert does not belong to any tribe and has no inheritance with the individuals.

[@adlevhashamayim4694]

Is this one of the reasons the soul of a ger is of a higher elevation than that if a natural born Jew? Similar to how balei teshuva also have a higher ascension?

[@72Yonatan]

My argument about the identity of a person, any person, let alone a Jew, as being spirit, is based entirely upon the Torah - see Genesis and its Hebrew language, if you read Hebrew. Adam was created with a neshumah, the breath of God. That means we are spirit, not the body. The body is a garment only, and that is not something I need Zohar to teach me about. We do differ, in that some of your assumptions are false. Stop projecting your ideas onto others and listen to each argument on its merits.

[@einkerem]

Not sure what you are doing on this site. Are you a Karaite? Where do you get this information from? And you seem to be pretty cocky about your attitude of me quiting while I am ahead.

[@brucecorman7304]

Thank you 🙏

[@helendudden9638]

I wish I could convert with someone like you.

[@ormand.943]

Hi! Did you found someone to convert you? I may have option for you. Give me an email so i can get in touch with you.

[@catweazle3464]

Armando Alcázar I don’t know about him, but I would like to inquire as to what you have to offer.

[@ormand.943]

@@catweazle3464 send me an email.

[@conner7939]

@@ormand.943 hey do you think you could help me I am only 13 but have been looking for faith and had a dream and have finally found faith and would like to be converted

[@conner7939]

@@ormand.943 it email needed my email is [e-mail] if you could help me I would appreciate it thankyou

[@ThekiBoran]

Anton Lavey's doppelganger?

[@Bama_Law]

I too am isolated but b/c I didn't listen to Hashem and moved to a nowhere town in KY for job..... gotta move

[@mariaearthangel7251]

It’s sad that others are denied 🙅‍♀️ and great rejection as no one knows who will be successful

[@wolfshedler5898]

good points

[@petretepner8027]

He's absolutely right, but do we (Sephardim) have to give up the jokes we make about the Ashkenizim? Or vice versa, I suppose(?)

[@cxarhomell5867]

Yes, as they might be mocking or insulting the other person.

[@rabbiavrahamkatz5250]

All questions, that convert may ask are answered in deed, you don't need to think, you need to act. If you want head breaking pilpul go ahead, just remember that someone did it already for you.

[@TheGrmany69]

what's your posture on the shomer?

[@rabbiavrahamkatz5250]

@@TheGrmany69 ?

[@eugenialesiuk1189]

Have been staying alone on Shabbat now over 3 years. Put my trust in Hashem .

[@ormand.943]

Hi! Did you found someone to convert you? I may have option for you. Give me an email so i can get in touch with you.

[@ormand.943]

@Dror Levi so you are "jew" but you have not read your talmud and torah? You would not be saying this if you had. Ignorant

[@ormand.943]

@Dror Levi blood? There is no such thing as jewish blood haha your are a joke.

[@ormand.943]

@Dror Levi saying this you are speaking against the sacred books and our own torah. Go read a little.

[@eugenialesiuk1189]

@Dror Levi than David Hamelech's ancester Ruth a convert and great grandmother - wasn't blood or jewish right ? No wrong read Torah .

[@sirdelrio]

I actually moved to another city to pursue joining a jewish community. These people are all converts, in latinamerica. And the first thing they asked was money. I don't know if it was a test or what. But I didn't insist there. I'm still in love with judaism, but no community near me now that I moved back to my town.

[@TheGrmany69]

Ya veo, los sefarditas tienden a ser así por lo que tengo entendido. Tienden a probar...

[@yaaqovasher]

to be more correct, that isn't my personal advice, but what i learned from my Rav

[@superchilltorah1663]

I wish you could convert out. Id be like peace have a good one send me a post card every now and then in the blink of an eye.

[@andygrithing7937]

im a lonely convert jew

[@kristinemurphy3445]

May God give you peace I promise to keep you In my daily zSHEEMA Morning prayer for the rest of my earthly journey I hope you find peace and a close friend near by you to give you some peace &comfort &compassion peace be upon you kmurph5360

[@patriciadunham8219]

Me too.

[@annmajor379]

Are you interested in forming a group online?

[@patriciadunham8219]

Yes.

[@Wadj1]

TBH I am a Reform convert, hoping to go to Manchester to convert Orthodox and do the job properly, then I will be down to Chabad as soon as I can. The Rebbe has always been my Rebbe, all the way through my conversion and beyond. I know a lot of people badmouth Chabad but as far as I'm concerned no-one does more for the klal as a whole. Shabbat shalom!

[@StillYHWHs]

It's because no one is teaching them. As they ask questions.

[@scottcochran48]

Rabbi Bar-Hayim seemed very quick to disregard the potential convert that wants to convert due to marriage. However, life and Judaism aren't that black and white. I met someone that was Jewish and since I was very interested in learning about Judaism, we talked for months as I had many questions, We became close and began a relationship. She was very conflicted about that since she was a Torah Jew for many years. Although right after we met, we had a physical relationship for about 18 months, for the past 5 1/2 years, we have been shomer negia and I have been studying for my orthodox conversion under an orthodox Rabbi who knows our situation. I am not converting solely for my partner, however, she did help bring me to Judaism and we do intend to marry. I think jumping to the conclusion that if one of the reasons someone is converting to Judaism is marriage disqualifies someone from converting is very shortsighted and not in the spirit of what Judaism teaches about tolerance and that there is more than one answer to a problem.

[@my2cents49]

The problem is that many people want their partner to convert only to appease the family and avoid embarrassment in the community, a sort of keepi g the kids "in" thing. That is more common than the partner who seriously believes in the religion itself. There are sincere people who convert before marriage, but the polls and statistics show that the overwhelming majority of people who convert for marriage end up raising their kids in non-religious or mostly unobservant households. You guys are apparently one of the lucky couples who acquired the right heart for it.

[@vdelrio999]

I wholeheartedly agree.

[@retrain35yo87]

Hazak Rabbi

[@motorhead6763]

Zohar kind of prevents converts from being equal to Jews...against Torah and chazal. Ask Rabbi Akiva or Meir or Onkelos...

[@steveg8707]

Only by the ignorant masses. The Talmud is full of praise for these figures. In this regard, Rabbi Akiva was esteemed as one of the greatest (if not the greatest) torah scholar of his generation.

[@einkerem]

says who?

[@ziejackson6236]

I want to convert but unsure of what denomination would be right

[@geo.graphic]

Very interesting debate, I was intrigued by the tittle, I think you feel lonely whatever you do to please the tyrannical and corrupt people whereas they are Jews or Gentiles. I'm so happy to have converted, it was a gift meant to be, mainly to gather my roots destroyed by European Jew-hatred troughout the history. My Rabbi was a Sepharadic leading the Ashkenazi Synagogue, who had to face the core worshipers filled with both background, some Sepharadics hated openly Ashkenazis, both bent to Socialism and Islam, in general. I like the synagogue, but for now, I prefere to stay apart, continue praying and read the Torah, not because I'm feelings so special, just to step back from the overall chaos.

[@einkerem]

There are too many cases in the Tanach that differ with this. Did Ruth wait 9 months or sis she just decide to be a Jew? Tzipora had rabbis or any watching her? Moshe married her and she became a Jew. No where in the Torah does it say anything about 9 months or even 9 days. Either you believe in God and the Torah or you don't.

[@LiaK1306]

Amen to that.

[@ArielaShines]

Truth.

[@Law9223]

Go deep with YA and you won't be lonely!

[@Bama_Law]

I converted ashkenazi but I follow Sephardic. Turns out my moms maternal line are Sephardic descent.... never knew she was Jewish descent until last year and I converted 16 years ago. Always treated great at masorti and orthodox shuls in B'ham Alabama. Even though I used a sephardic siddur etc. i hate to hear these stories.

[@sarahjrgensen7753]

how you know your maternal line is sephardic dna what is your haplogroup

[@adlevhashamayim4694]

@@sarahjrgensen7753dna doesn’t really matter for the Beit Din in these matters. For example I know of history of indigenous women of the Americas who lived in Spain and converted to Judaism and left behind Sephardic Jewish traditions to their daughters, grand daughters, etc.

[@nicknavarro9418]

I'm very disappointed. Why is there so much discrimination from orthodox towards conservative & reform Judaism? Why don't they consider them REAL jews?

[@ולם-ז3צ]

Because they explicitly contradict the Rambam on fundamental principles of faith as part of their ideology, which both formally makes them heretics AND is a way of relating to the sages that is against the Torah.

[@chashmal10]

Bc they don’t follow the Torah at all so it isn’t Judaism at all. They explicitly reject the Torah. That isn’t Judaism. It isn’t that Torah Jews reject them, it’s that they reject the Torah. Free to do what you want but don’t call that Judaism lol

[@72Yonatan]

You are not on the level of Sanhedrin. When the Talmud says that we are to regard a Jew who practices avodah zara as a Gentile, it means in practical halakhic interactions, such as touching wine. It does not mean in terms of his ultimate identity. Such a person will not be judged as a Gentile, but rather as a Jew who transgressed, when he dies and faces the Holy One on his day of judgment. That means he will incur greater punishments in the afterlife, not be punished as if he were a Gentile.

[@sarathobe4285]

This sounds like you are "accepting", but, my dear, you are not. There is plenty of room, my friend. And, hi, converts don't care what other's think. Iff we did, that would have stopped us. I can't help but think you have never known a convert.

[@motorhead6763]

True...maybe to much mitsnagdimish attitude..even chassidus seem to do also now.Many ben Noach coming out of JC to yiddishkeit.. Many sincere.Shalom

[@ArtistryByAngels-ee2rx]

I’m converting (orthodox) regardless of who is with me or not. As long as Hashem is with me, is all that matters

[@kevinhudson3153]

Baruch Hashem

[@רבקהאולטיין]

onesly who say are lonley after conversion not love judaism, and make this just for other purpose, i feel lonley in my country, were i born, and every time when i meet with a jew at sinagog i feel so good, i feel like home. last days was Pesah, my feeling was very good, i feel sad because i don t have yet oportunity to be converted because in my country not make anybody converting....i love judaism and never return me again in chrestianity, because live Rabbi say is a big lie, and i hope to come Mashia quecly to distroy all idolatry from Israel, and all people, righcest people to return of Unic and Grat Hasem!