The LOVE COACH: THIS Is Why 70% of Relationships FAIL In The First Year | Stephan Speaks

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Today Stephan Speaks and Lewis touch on the transformative power of healing, the strength found in showing vulnerability, and the secret sauce to keeping connections alive and thriving over time. Stephan opens up about the journey of mending from past wounds as a gateway to more joyful and satisfying partnerships ahead. He draws a clear line between the kind of disagreements that foster growth and the arguments that tear us apart, reminding us that respect is the way through any rough patch.
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:00 - Overcoming Influences to Improve Attraction
00:03:50 - Meeting Needs in Relationships
00:05:44 - Men's Struggle with Monogamy
00:07:54 - The correlation between ambition and high sexual energy
00:10:07 - Open Relationships and Emotional Needs
00:12:19 - The Three Most Important Things Men Need in a Relationship
00:14:18 - The Importance of Love, Security, and Stimulation for Women
00:16:31 - Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energy
00:18:43 - Loving in Your Masculine
00:20:47 - Recognizing the One
00:22:49 - Intuition vs. Fear in Relationships
00:24:59 - Building a Relationship without Healing
00:26:58 - Healing and Sexual Interactions
00:29:00 - The Healing Process
00:30:54 - Recognizing Healing and Vulnerability
00:32:51 - The Power of Positive Language
00:34:48 - Healing and Finding a True Connection
00:36:50 - Addressing Flaws in Relationships
00:38:56 - The Dangers of Unhealthy Arguing
00:40:56 - Effective Communication Strategies
00:42:58 - The Importance of Healing and Doing the Work
00:44:54 - Making the "Who Hurt Me" List
#greatness #inspiration #motivation

[@NZ919.]

People just don’t want to be responsible & take any accountability for their actions. Inner growth is for the courageous x

[@renette0506]

Like me😊

[@Carol-sx6rg]

Yeah growing is scary sometimes but it's for the good. But what if you want to improve communication and your partner ( my husband ) is shutting off. He doesn't talk anymore when I come up with this... All he wants since last years is being on himself. Gaming a lot. come down for coffee. I feel like his mom...😢

[@KaraKahn]

​@@Carol-sx6rg damn, girl. Idk your situation, but maybe consider separating to get some priorities straight 😕

[@DominionAnako-bb7ry]

Well, King, relationships can be complex, and there are many factors that can contribute to their success or failure. It's important to remember that statistics can vary and every relationship is unique. However, some common reasons why relationships may face challenges in the first years include lack of communication, incompatible values or goals, unresolved conflicts, and unrealistic expectations. Building a strong foundation of trust, understanding, and open communication can greatly increase the chances of a relationship thriving. It's also important to remember that relationships require effort and commitment from both partners. By working together and addressing issues as they arise, couples can increase their chances of long-term success. 😊🌟

[@lewishowes]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

[@DominionAnako-bb7ry]

@lewishowes Welcome I watched you in one of dhar mann videos

[@galespressos]

Thank you for sharing this. Easier said than done but hearing it brought up with helpful pointers does help.

[@tavananda2058]

Great discussion! I am healing from my partner of 14 years, leaving with our 2 dogs for a younger female, the Love Of his Life. He didn't make me feel secure, therefore no sex but we had Siva.God. I have learned that if I want to keep a man, I must bend over for him, However,he must be worthy of bending over for.... Y'all mentioned that it's harder for a man to bend in a relationship? Women have to ingest a foreign body into our sacred & most vulnerable space with the possibility of becoming pregnant. ....And if we pick the creep, we could get left for a younger female. Thank you for sharing valuable information on how to bring out the best in long term relationships.❤

[@Carol-sx6rg]

​​@@tavananda2058, I feel sorry for you. Your trust has been broken. 😢 I'm with my husband for over half of our lives. But the last 2 years he changed. The ' dog ' side comes out .. like: gaming when out of work every evening. When kids are to bed we hardly have conversation ( or s*x ) I miss a lot of fun you know. And leaving him is not my goal. Other women just say: ignore him and do things for yourself. So, I started Biodanza because I love dancing. ( but my partner does not) and it's wonderful to feel connected with others. But when I come home I feel lonely again. I know, different story but it's the feelings yes?. I just listen to Lewis & Joe ... About Love & relationships. It's very spiritual but it can maybe help you to. 🙏 I wish for you to find relief within first. Giving you a big hug 🫂 from a sister to another. We are all in this together yes ❤ talk to your God about your worries ok. I think that's the only place real love comes from. Namaste.

[@Rantitoutloud]

I love that. "Do I want to be heard? Or Do I want it to be received?"

[@KG-bliss]

It feels good to have done the work and healed... now, I can meet my man and just grow creating and elevating together. It's time to have some fun, adventure, joy, enjoy creating good memories ❤

[@DR-yl5sp]

I completely disagree with “love is instant” in fact I’ve discovered the exact opposite. My current relationship has been this extraordinary journey of pealing back the layers and getting to know each other. Each layer that my partner and I pull back with each other, I find myself falling more in love. But this was not immediate, it took quite a long time in todays standards but it was the best slow burn that I’ve never experienced. People are way too quick to let someone go because they don’t have immediate chemistry with them and I say many are missing out on the possibility of building a true long lasting incredibly deep connection with someone.

[@GemmaAdventures]

That feeling of safety = SO important and has a massive impact and onflow effect - you get that, the rest comes easily. It's often not talked about, and a lot of conversations are relegated to buying things for a person and looking a certain way - so thank you Stephan and Lewis for touching on the 'feeling safe' aspect. Not having to have your guard up all the time, is a gift to receive the experience.

[@NHW0]

In order for relationships to thrive, it is extremely important to let things go and not focusing on the small mistakes or silly differences. Waiting for you guys and thank you!

[@denisemichaels9545]

Yes, forgiveness and not holding grudges (or bringing up mistakes in future conversations)

[@Nothingstutube]

its energetically attractive listening you two males speak about betterment and love. ❤

[@divine.healing]

"Your spirit recognizing it's match" 🔥🔥🔥💯

[@jonidunn648]

Woah! At the 20 min mark. 🔥 I've said for years that I can tell within minutes if there is a possible relationship! Some have said I should 'give it time' but for me, it is or it isn't! Thank you! ❤

[@heydinavarro3067]

I think being single would be the best. It's mostly pleasing, man, they are most important

[@beautiful_serendipity]

Love, Security and Trust - the most fundamental elements in a happy relationship for a woman. Trust is more important than being entertained. Without trust a woman will not be happy in a relationship.

[@TereshaYoung]

Great video! 🧡 To reference the point about intuition, as an international dating and a relationship coach myself, I absolutely agree that healing and addressing our wounds from past hurts can help the connection to our intuition. Equally, what helps my coaching clients to tap into their intuition is to bring it back to the body 🙌🏽 What this looks like is learning how to regulate our nervous system. This can help manage our cortisol levels. Here's what you can do: 🌷Mindfulness practices such as deep breathing, meditation, prayer, exercise, yoga etc. 🌷Eating healthily through managing your diet and nutrition well. 🌷 Getting enough rest and sleep. 🌷 Having a supportive network of people can help with the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin increases trust, regulates stress, facilitates emotion recognition, increases prosocial behaviour, and attenuates loneliness. We tend to underestimate the power of taking care of our bodies to deepen our level of clarity and intuition 🌷💫

[@deboraheden6418]

Stephen is the best relationship coach there is.

[@IslaTsae]

such a great interviewer for SS. Lewis, you are a great bouncer with S & bring out such great points and angles

[@nicolehustles]

I truly will never understand why sex is such a deal breaker for men, most people go through phases where they have sex daily to twice a month. Also if you’re with someone for 10, 30, 50 years then sex will get boring af at times, be reaaaaal 😂

[@rebeckawoods6093]

But why start on a bad foot?

[@Incognito14141]

I totally agree

[@Ashnarath]

Such an amazing conversation. Thank you so much. I am precisely overcoming a breakup where she was healing trauma from her past relationship and I was doing my best to help but she ended up sabotaging herself into believing that I was going to change and become someone similar to her previous partner.

[@ecgardoce]

She's got trust issues. Same with my online bf now, but I made him believe that I'm not gonna leave him. Only that he's got other issues and he's the type to hide in his cave when he's stressed. But I love him. He is a nice, sweet and gentle person but his issues make him unpredictable.

[@Karem.milian]

I needed this so bad ❤thank you

[@katnez]

I believe in the spirit knowing, that you spoke of. That’s y I’m single. I’m super in tune with my faith haven’t met that match again since my ex hubby.

[@lindaanderson846]

1000% Facts ❤💯

[@RanMaya7]

Gracias, excelente ❤🎉❤🎉. Mi primer en vivo!!!

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@GodsPrincess2]

This is so amazing and spot on. Thanks for sharing.

[@stylesofsaturn]

Just a great interview

[@lewishowes]

Thank you

[@tinuvi]

Hello, I'm in the house. Tinu from Ghana

[@vyspeeds]

On the deal: any honest adult will know that the truth is that a man who does not have strong feelings or love for a woman is not putting in any substantial effort in his relationship with her. A woman who likes you a lot will go above and beyond so a man could still get all of his needs met and receive nurturing if a woman merely has interest in him.

[@ina3806]

I love a lot of his perspectives, but the statement that you know from day 1 and that you feel the connection instantly goes head to head with what renowned psychologists like Dr Ramani states that instant connection is very tricky and a possible red flag for trauma bounding. I would love to see an episode with those two together

[@user-zh5cz6kz1m]

Great video

[@fernandabjort]

Totally agree about the 3rd point on women's needs. Most people are so boring. And I think when this happens in the relationship the women ends up stepping into their masculine energy to bring some fun activities to the routine, ultimately, it's tiring.

[@stass07]

Learning so much

[@lewishowes]

So happy to hear you are finding value! Thank you for being here 🧡

[@realtalk675]

Very interesting

[@yvettemyer3613]

Great 👍 interview 👏 👍 👌

[@lewishowes]

Thank you 🙌

[@christinemarielayne]

❤❤❤ Stephen ❤❤he is a king 👑😎💯🌹🌹🌹♥️💜💯

[@AlauraJones]

Meeting needs in relationships and asking those questions BEFORE getting married are so important. But it only works if both people are being real. My husband knew my love language was physical touch and that I wanted sex, and he pretended to be all on board. Once we got married everything changed and he revealed who he truly is. I want so badly to have everything we could have but honestly the sex is all for him the few time we have it and I would give it like a D-. He has this whole other personality where he pretends to be one thing to everyone around him, but in reality he is something totally different. I don’t know how I got stuck here, I wanted to have a normal life. But ladies check CHECK before marriage and especially before children if the person is really being who they are when they’re alone. Don’t ignore those red flags.

[@eddieneyman4035]

Isn't this an old podcast from years ago? I feel like I've heard all this before..

[@chinwenduiwu7756]

Is an unrealistic expectation to think I am responsible to keep her from being bore. My take: if I'm bored is my responsibility. If she is bored is her responsibility.

[@zarimughalrose353]

I know....

[@irenehurtig266]

Wow !

[@lewishowes]

Thanks for being here!

[@laurafahey542]

Yes cause people need closure

[@t.square]

I love this episode soooooo much 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I love seeing both aspects of the sexes

[@laurafahey542]

Pik n choose your battles n keep your vibe high 😂

[@tinuvi]

We can't just think it is ok to say whatever we like to our partners and think it is OK! Hello?? We better watch the way we talk to each other.

[@dalenanguyen1]

Which Devon Franklin book is he talking about? 9:47

[@fatemeherfanmanesh9577]

Hi please add English subtitle for another people in the world

[@hayleyprice8345]

Do you have to do this cause you only have a certain amount of time on this earth

[@Myrslokstok]

People are just not invested in anything, some teories ofcourse work in good times, but under the full complexity of relationships it is an unsolvable puzzel. Just wait 30 years and lets see how easy it was😂 The typical happy good guy, the wife will ditch them, or the wife will get bord or just angry!

[@laurafahey542]

Open relationships never wrk out in the long run don’t bring your women around u n your man if there single n u hav a player of a man they will try her / keep your man close yet let them hav a long leash

[@karenoyama8950]

Can’t believe Stephen is not married. He would be an amazing man as a husband!

[@Myrslokstok]

It is easy in teory but then reality!

[@brijay3009]

🥰🥰🥰

[@tinuvi]

I deserve a great man. All men are not dogs. I've changed my language from now😂😂😂

[@aniabrandt7]

Men r more external, more physical. Women r more internal, emotional. When women loves u she gives u her heart&soul on a plate for a man to take care of it, that's why she needs to feel safe. Men making love with his body, somen with her mind

[@danielodia7027]

Is he married?

[@laurafahey542]

Not all women r gold diggers . Shush I was gehe

[@erinwheeler2036]

What if the guy you’re dating is attached to his ex❓

[@KG-bliss]

Let him go back, why would you want to be there?

[@renette0506]

Call his attention to it. Tell him you don't want to be in a relationship, he needs to finish his last one. If he needs it, give examples. There are so many people looking for you, don't waste your time with someone who DOESN'T WANT YOU.

[@0126ss]

This panel definitely needs some feminine inputs

[@shantinaturechild3239]

Weird that there are so many gold diggers, though!

[@KG-bliss]

Not really...look at your environment... change your perception, environment, and you will see there are women of substance out there. Believe that it's not all of them and you will see that.

[@Mmmmkaaay]

Trust me. 99% of men aren't the target of golddiggers. And the 1% of men with that status understand that the young, hot model is NOT with him because she loves him. It is a symbiotic relationship. She gets money and he gets arm candy.

[@Myrslokstok]

It's not simple: 1) woman only truly love a guy that has lots of options and don't care about a relationship. 2) guys like women who are comitted and sexy, and don't give them a hard time.

[@taraleightaracumming6726]

my partner doesn’t communicate well he says his brain doesn’t work that way. Am I settling? he doesn’t converse well and conversation is very surface and not deep.

[@ironman-fw4xx]

He doesn’t understand himself well enough. He needs his sense of identity. You will not be able to find it for him. If you are not married, move on. Let him figure himself out on his own. You’ll be alright sister !