The Majesty of Homophobes (& Makeup Tutorials)

[@camf4962]

i'm a lesbian and i like to think i have the stylish, effortless beer grip of a pioneer valley homophobe. and that's what reclamation really means

[@theillustratedgirl]

camille faucheux amen friend.

[@beverage7335]

Honestly same

[@bluebird0802]

just a simple beer-chugging frat lesbian

[@gamermoment7044]

Same sis

[@sofiaflick3541]

i’m a lesbian but i’m 13 and i have tiny hands so i have to hold soda cans with two hands in order to feel powerful.

[@Alley99]

I was holding a can of smirnoff the other day and as I looked to my hand, holding it gently between my fingertips and thumb, I was struck by a vague, distant memory of someone in their car describing the Homophobe Beer Hold. I couldn't remember who specifically it was or how even to find this video but it ate away at my subconscious for a solid 10 minutes before I forgot about it again. Lo and behold, this specific video appeared on my home page today and now I'm quite certain god exists

[@Weenpuncher]

That was beautiful

[@fable8073]

That paints a weirdly vivid picture of a foggy memory.

[@sarahshine1967]

“let’s talk st. patty’s day, aka christmas for townie homophobes” doesn’t talk at all about st. patty’s day

[@MxDae]

Oh, my god, you're right! 😆😭

[@stephenc909]

it's Paddy's day

[@themaggattack]

@@stephenc909 Indeed, it is "Paddy", and don't ye forget it! Best to just call it by it's full name, St. Patrick's day, tho. Something about yanks even saying "Paddy" can tend to annoy the Irish (from actual Ireland).

[@shadowcultist]

@@themaggattack what are the irish gonna do about it

[@Foxglove_fairy]

@@shadowcultist sorry bit of respect goes a long way. Cop on

[@georgiabrebner]

'That they could prove to CJ, BJ, EJ, CJ, FJ, AJ, Anthony, AND mike that it's not the size of the hands of a homophobe, it's the size of the homophobe'

[@rebeccatrishel]

The Big One "in here"

[@mikeyg8568]

He forgot HJ

[@suahabose4100]

ok but how did he miss TJ like i’ve KNOWN a TJ

[@ejw2354]

My name... Is EJ...

[@rottinginthewoods5955]

@@ejw2354 _guys we found one!!_

[@taroisatuber]

"Loreal's I've Never Left My Hometown lipbalm."

[@bagofcorn7434]

ellaellaism pure gold.

[@0nionSlut]

I screamed out loud lmfaooooo

[@imeantloveyou5eva]

"The thing I love about this eyeshadow is it says, "The only song I've ever heard is 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', and I'm not sure where Seattle is."

[@maddiegibbons4059]

imeantloveyou5eva I love reading comments right as Gayle said it

[@MissRandomComment]

If there was a pun, it went right over my European head but for some reason I was gasping for air over that statement XD

[@claire4233]

@@MissRandomComment lol it's not a pun, it's just that seattle is a pretty major city so only super sheltered townies wouldn't know where it is

[@MsFuzzipoo]

This one has so many wonderfully quotable lines. I mean, Chris always brings it, but this one is special

[@nathanmcgill7249]

@@claire4233 I interpreted it as a reference to her loving hair metal and rejecting the grunge movement

[@sidneyjohnson7406]

*holds up mascara* "I cannot live without my strawberry-kiwi lipliner!" *holds up eyeliner* "my never-ending romantic love, lip-liner :)"

[@caley.j.n]

sans organes anything can be lip liner if you try hard enough

[@josephm1762]

I've used eyeliner as lipliner. Not recommended, but possible

[@sofiaflick3541]

my girlfriend wears eyeshadow on her lips but she’s an aries so it’s excused

[@4cannibal]

@@sofiaflick3541 what

[@_gremlinboy]

@@sofiaflick3541 eyeshadow on the lips is a valid choice and I'll stand by that

[@meredythwithay5187]

I love the unprompted sudden placement of songs. Like Cher's Believe? Wham's Last Christmas? What are the rules?

[@alexbent5627]

Know what the song is that starts at 1.22

[@alexbent5627]

meredyth with a y not it sorry

[@donniewarren4681]

@@alexbent5627 thats everything in its right place by radiohead!!!

[@alexbent5627]

Donnie Warren thankyou so much you’re a legend!!

[@meredythwithay5187]

Alex Bent oh wrong part lmao sorry

[@jacquelinerosewoods]

Lol i just realized you are the same guy who did stand up at my cousin's bridal shower like 15 years ago .... now you're famous!! Good jobbbb

[@lindseyspuria424]

I was just telling a friend how much I don’t like the selection of men on Tinder in Massachusetts and she responded by sending me this video.

[@jackiereyes8573]

Lmao I appreciate your friend's humor

[@fighttheevilrobots3417]

Expand your area radius to Providence, RI and you will be much happier I promise. Just don't do Warwick, RI

[@cendon1430]

It's so bizarre that this guy has met literally every single one of my exes since 5th grade

[@sazzorakskills1614]

Cen Don who starts dating in 5th grade?? How old are you????

[@aliveslice]

You just have a really great taste.

[@potterandbttf]

Good Video, but one critisicm. you failed to comment on the fact that at 1:14 the bottom right man is holding TWO beer cans in ONE meaty grasp. if you want to be a REAL reporter, notice ALL the details. love always, Al

[@Prologue18]

Twist To Open **stab**

[@StarGazer3261997]

TESTED ON RHINOS; GAVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM SCIATICA

[@dylanchouinard6141]

DO NOT INGEST; IT WILL LEAD TO THE CONCEPTION OF THE SON OF BEELZEBUB!

[@thebitch4409]

Ok wait what’s sciatica

[@dunjunart]

@@thebitch4409 Sciatica is a health condition characterized by pain going down the leg from the lower back.

[@Pachitaro]

Legend has it that if you say "no homo" 1,000,000 times in a row, you gain the ability to hold a beer can with your mind

[@peppermint23]

Chris I love that you laugh at your own joke at 4:12 because it's so good hahahaha.

[@chubaka6971]

peppermint23 cute lil laugh too

[@israelmelendez8398]

I've literally always noticed this and understood how asinine it seemed but I didn't think anyone else noticed so....

[@kkilco]

i laughed so hard as they started the joke that i shut my eyes and then had to rewind the video to see chris's lil laugh so yes it was so good!!! lmao

[@m.w.kaplan447]

that made me laugh as well

[@asseater0077]

"he'd probably be okay... In space.. Without a space suit"

[@notincognito7611]

I swear by this makeup tutorial. show up everyday as a fajita or Betty Boop poster to school.

[@Katloft]

Yes! but sometimes I swap out the poster for the cardboard cutout of Betty Boop so people never know what to expect.

[@WeirdoChocolateLover]

I love that the editing just gives such a normal thing a terrifying feel. Watching the parody make-up tutorial before the turnip for the head feels like watching a horror movie and you're waiting for the jump scare, and it's just a turnip for a head.

[@annabelchristiansen9301]

"It's like a field mouse tucked away for a winters nap"

[@sr-kt9ml]

LOL'd

[@AverageJodi]

"the flirty pore clogger by John Deere" OMG

[@ParadoxGavel]

The contrast between the townies gripping their cans with their giant oven mitt hands and Chris holding a can with his pinky up is just brilliant.

[@Trunksette]

Watching these videos is like what having ADHD feels like

[@themaggattack]

I think that's one reason why Chris makes a lot of sense to me.

[@Jamie-lj8eq]

I don't know why KZbin recommended you to me, but I'll be handwriting a thank you letter to them in the morning.

[@jjava.bean5]

I love how Chris seamlessly goes from mocking Male stereotypes, then female stereotypes, is nonconforming himself and the entire time manages to make all gender look ridiculous and hilarious.

[@durfdurffigan8680]

Why does mocking have to be some big statement on gender? we can just mock stupid people.

[@sirrivet9557]

@@durfdurffigan8680 because societal expectations of gender pretty massively affects how a lot of people act.

[@sodapail]

more like middle class american (townie) stereotypes

[@jjava.bean5]

@@sodapail yes.... of both genders.

[@calliebethlamb]

@@jjava.bean5you’re sticking by your story and I love it - confidence is the best accessory.

[@alexhoran5558]

'YANKEES SUCK' THE WAY HE SAYS IT MAKES ME LAUGH

[@willahale8566]

this is the only man valid enough to complain about women's makeup

[@emilyjohnson9435]

LIPGLOSS DISGUISED AS A PERSON

[@kaylajohnson4642]

"You're turning your face into a fajita"

[@Katiedora122]

"They have Boston tattoos even though they're from Central Mass." THIS IS MY LIFE.

[@MsFuzzipoo]

I'm sorry. I hope you've found a better place over the last 3 years (or if you're referring to yourself, um... same thing? No offense intended!💜)

[@ratman7795]

starts with the homophobes, ends with the makeup turnip.

[@ER-nl2hz]

I know this video is old and I'm extremely late to the party, but seeing someone singing Tracy Chapman to a Natty Ice is the surreal mood lift I needed today.

[@monichols6968]

The can is the one singing it

[@jacobcj408]

Can we just talk about the flawless topic transition?

[@taylorloren6817]

I would go out with this guy in a second. He makes me laugh constantly.

[@foxygrin]

T Ld go out with him? Fuck dude I'd marry him on the spot

[@WildWaver]

Those aren't creepy comments at all

[@thatyoutubechannel9953]

"What if a homophobe was born with tiny hands?" Trump, Ben Shapiro, Mitch McConnell...

[@levi-young]

i'm transmasc, and i think my only transition goal is to hold a can in my freakishly small hands as effortlessly as your average emotionally constipated, middle aged dad at a red sox game

[@xaniella4859]

godspeed, young one

[@BryceGormanKelly]

Transmasc with freakishly tiny hands here. I don't even drink. I hold my flavored seltzer with two hands, bringing my fruity business to every backyard BBQ.

[@Lucifersfursona]

How many of us are there?! All these powerful fellas with our little doll hands I hold a can with one hand and chris is the first person who’s ever made me think about this. And that’s okay

[@Or26565]

I’m a transmasc and I always hold my drinks by pinching them in between my thumb and my pointer finger like a little rat holding a lays chip.

[@krzlcve]

that and going fishing

[@Abby-nn7vo]

i think about the moment where chris holds a beer can and mouths Fast Car so frequently

[@pinkstrad]

I like to imagine someone walking by Chris’ car just as he’s doing the turnip bit

[@cherylcoyote]

Like a python holding a piglet. I'm dying here. Dying.

[@alexhoran5558]

'the only song I've ever heard is pour some sugar on me and I'm not sure where Seattle is'

[@xodancerxo312]

the more Massachusetts humor the better

[@cockykhakis6265]

have i commented yet that i hold drinks the way townie homophobes do and every time i do it this video plays in my head

[@Skiloose]

“Big Dick Landscaping, Yankees SUCK!” isn’t just the best line in this video, it’s also the best thing I’ve ever heard

[@ellamills5716]

why do i feel like he spends 2 hours ranting in his car and cuts it down to a 5 minute clip

[@alancorvus6937]

This video reminds me of the sports bar in the town I lived in when I was in Massachusetts. It was called the Locker Room and the logo was in comic sans

[@redmanish]

There is a fucking novel’s worth of backstory behind this video, I can sense it.

[@grapes4832]

4:09 the split-second of broken character here kills me every time

[@Deidredit]

"TESTED ON RHINOS! GAVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM SCIATICA!"

[@Cole_McGill]

This is my mind trying to make a point but going off on tangents and finishing one, then forgetting what the point I was making was.

[@MsFuzzipoo]

Completely. I was diagnosed with ADD as an adult. I know your pain!

[@jrjubach]

"This is a great blush if you're serious about robbing a TGI Fridays." LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

[@cas_9413]

Chris has such a specific yet so accurate sense of humor

[@sarawawa8984]

"they call me popcorn BB i don't know why i know why i eat all the popcorn" I played that part over like 5 times because I love it and i don't know why

[@alexeirichards416]

I live in the suburbs of Boston and all that was just too true, especially the landscaping company 😂😂

[@Melissa-tw2gp]

I watch this every year to celebrate my Irish heritage.

[@stickynutjuicemoved959]

3:26 The label on the Aztec Secret clay mask really does feel like that

[@YoMamasLlama22]

I wasn’t ready for the feeling that ‘fast car’ gave me

[@petalphan]

that turnip fucking terrified me at fist

[@stefalspaugh5362]

"and I have no idea where Seattle is" I'm crying 😂😂😂

[@gemmagomez3556]

I LOVE the use of 'homophobe' as a general descriptive term for New England townies, it just feels like everything clicking into place

[@parislane43]

townies hold beer cans like jeff goldblum held that one puppy named buttercup

[@rainbowchicken2494]

"What if a homophobe is born with tiny hands?" GAYLE PREDICTED TRUMP.

[@RoyalScribeX]

this is still my favorite video on the internet

[@elizabethbennet4791]

"This is the right eyeliner for robbing a TGI Fridays" I dont really know what that means but i love it anyway.

[@dryd943]

THOSE AREN'T PORES

[@thebenchwarmer]

"... You need a fire hose or a space shuttle launch to take it off.." LOL. Im just silently laughing at 5 in the morning, haha

[@lchap619]

"Tested on Rhinos. Gave them Sciatica!" Omfg I just woke up my family from laughing so loud. Crap Chris! Lol.

[@flowers-3333]

The only song I’ve ever heard is “Pour Some Sugar on Me” and I’m not sure where Seattle is

[@islalader]

Next time there is a Kickstarter there should be a reward tier where you get a link to the full playlist of all the gayle sound effects. They are golden.

[@FlippinHeckFurry]

OH MY GOODNESS THE END KILLED ME oh I love all of your videos

[@antonluvs]

Flippin Heck Furry I love your name

[@MaryHubert]

"this saint patties day, will one townie with tiny lil centipede hands…" LOLLLLLL

[@Paylala]

"It's like a little field mouse tucked away for winter's nap." i CRiED laughing!

[@thebugqueen6047]

So, I'm in love

[@zzzcocopepe]

The irony of using that specific song to make fun of homophobes. That song is about a lesbian finally fitting in with another lesbian

[@margaretjoyce5750]

The lighting is so white it’s glowing...is this heaven?

[@aeneasstrozier8944]

Still waiting, Pixar

[@rawhamburgerjoe]

Still, still waiting!

[@gigi-ux7wb]

still, still, still waiting!

[@teacooper6485]

Still, still, still, still waiting!

[@NotFine]

Still, still, still, still, still waiting!

[@kylelikessharpies]

"I cannot live without my strawberry kiwi lip liner!" Sweetie we all know thats Maybelline's Great Lash Mascara. If you're going to try to bullshit us do it with a less iconic product. (Love you Chris

[@MsFuzzipoo]

Yup, if you're a gal of a certain age who was into makeup as a teen, you can recognize that mascara from a mile away (might still be true of young 'uns, but I don't think they get the constant exposure from Seventeen/YM magazine adverts like my generation did).

[@kata1261]

I live for the chaotic energy of Chris Fleming videos and often find myself revisiting them during my routine 3 AM existential crisis. It's my way of staring unflinchingly into the void and then laughing at it to assert dominance.

[@alizardinyourroom1361]

Happy 6 year anniversary to this video!

[@DomDomGravy]

Maybelline demi-glaze

[@LauraLowe]

I had to pause the video just to fully appreciate "you're turning your face into a fajita"

[@7264124]

ive been on the cars ride enough to know that's the music from cars at disneyland! :D

[@lecavalier32]

The landscaping company joke alone. Oh my gosh. Love your videos

[@matthewscime2815]

IS THAT A TURNIP?

[@yesterdayitrained]

The make up part is terrifyingly spot on!

[@jennifere.pergola598]

Partway through I had forgotten that the title already warned us, so the segue from a dissertation on townie homophobes to a full-on makeup tutorial was even more hilarious 😆.

[@bsg549]

I really loved/hated that I recognized Celine Dion's "I Drove All Night" in the background at one point

[@thelarsperson326]

Big Dick Landscaping... I died. xD

[@erikal5113]

I like how the background music is last Christmas by Wham lmao

[@ManonRhale]

what is it with you and tracy chapman haha

[@FuriosasWarRig]

I love the little moments he breaks character to laugh at his own jokes, it's so cute

[@TheVoidIsBees]

God, this video is 5 years old and it still brings me joy, even though the world is falling apart

[@mateohyland4089]

"what i love about this eye shadow is that it says 'the only song i've ever heard is 'pour some sugar on me' and i'm NOT sure where seattle is'"💀💀💀

[@gretchenschulte5424]

I was at my local store this past Sunday and I saw this giantic truck with the logo " dirty paws landscaping". I don't come from MA but do live in new England. I happened to see this video before going... My god did I run to the car to laugh hysterically! Maybe they're here from central ma? I laughed all the way 🤣 home. Thanks for the post. You made my day ☺️

[@intercontinentalshrinkydin4597]

“Little Paul Simon hands”

[@GavinsMommy06]

This is my favorite. I have a 5 year old who's obsessed wit makeup tutorials and I swear to god she just looks like a aide character from House of 1000 Corpses after she watches one. I let her.....because we need photo ammunition and something to put in her high school yearbooj

[@flahoo2807]

4:12 the crack up is so good

[@elleoneiram]

the end turned into a david lynch movie

[@oliverdyer9155]

1:09 THE DROPKICK MURPHYS IN THE BACKGROUND WAS ACCURATE TO THE POINT OF PAIN

[@jps8080]

Another Dropkicks ref at 2:00

[@meowpower08]

Chris is a gift to humanity

[@lires8119]

the names of the beauty products are so accurate

[@lianafreeman8954]

the chaotic masshole energy you exude fuels me