The Marines Malevolent Cryptocurrency Scam | a Warhammer 40k story

[@m.zangdar6987]

stealing a precious squig to an ork is the most despicable thing marine malevolent could do.

[@notdoneyet1361]

Tbh the ork would probably get bored of the squig the next day and eat it

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@migrivp2672]

How about what they call those from nocturne? They literally call them "night-er" and "night-ro"

[@DonVigaDeFierro]

But 'e ain't gonna cry in front of da boyz, or they'll think 'es a GIT.

[@bigtastyben5119]

Marines Malevolent find themselves up shits creek if one of them steals Ghazghkull's favorite squig.

[@TheWarmachine375]

Dark Mechanicus: "Professionals have standards."

[@mastadonking3816]

"As long as there are two people left, someone is going to want the other scammed."

[@josephmoffatt4696]

“Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.”

[@dangarwood7595]

For łnvest Gułde 📊☝☝ Let’s talk⬆

[@ChaplainPhantasm]

Just because you have no moral scruple, doesn't mean you shouldn't have standards

[@predatorkingx4039]

“Given the soul-crushing amount of arbitrary deaths, decent people die for no reason, it is surprisingly refreshing to see it happen first hand to someone who absolutely deserves it.” -The Emperor

[@steffanyschwartz7801]

Nice TTS quote.

[@predatorkingx4039]

@@steffanyschwartz7801 thank you 😎

[@newbaggett]

It is impossible to crush the soul of an enemy. You can only crush their bones and organs. The muscles stay intact for most of the crushing. It is why you like to cuddle my adorably muscular form, Father. -Rogal Dorn

[@alangreene5776]

The ork reading a script killed me lmao

[@idmabsb]

Same

[@aunthaggis8856]

I am so glad someone out there realized the comedic potential of the marines malevolent.

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@silverhand9965]

Honestly I think they're at their best in stuff like this where they're generally pieces of shit (and possibly incompetent) than when they're depicted as mass murdering edgelords. The comic book villain role suits them well. Being a constant nuisance just because they can

[@yof106]

Marines Malevolent didn't fall to chaos corruption, not through their willpower, dedication, or loyalty, but by being so repulsive, that even the very amalgamations of negative thoughts from the very depths of the unconscious minds of trillions upon trillions of sentients that inhabit, or inhabited, the universe, fined them repulsive and despicable. I guess if it works it works.

[@Sigismund697]

I mean even the Dragon Warriors are like "I can't believe they are still considered loyal"

[@gasterblaster9817]

Actually, a whole bunch of them actually fell to chaos through their unadulterated spite towards the Salamanders.

[@gardenthefermentingsound6218]

Do most people except for other Marines, the Mechanicus, and others in power even know they exist?

[@acrux1918]

@@dangarwood7595 ^hey look, it's brother fraudulus.

[@Furzkampfbomber]

It's either that _or_ the Ruinous Powers are simply allergic to citrus fruits.

[@ChronoTheHarlequin]

They took all my Non-Fungible Terminators brother… the chapter is finished

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@lordfrostwind3151]

Just steal some more from the Iron Hands, but be sure to paint yourself purple and scream how much you love daddy Fulgrim

[@Bananakingchad]

Nft owned by blood ravens

[@Furzkampfbomber]

@@lordfrostwind3151 Purple? I guess that will confuse the Iron Hands quite profusely, a voice screaming out of thin air.

[@radamanthus]

I regret to inform you that the Marines Malevolent are, indeed, at it again.

[@88thdeathkoregrenadier68]

very well ill get the templars and say they are employing mutants or something

[@johnathangoldstein9991]

Knowing the marines malevolent, that’s definitely not lemonade

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@hybridtheory7081]

That still works. Astarte piss is pretty much acid, you get to loot the corpse after it waste a bit of money.

[@gabrielaubry1334]

"IT IS LEMONADE!" "..." "Well, it's Hive World lemonade, so it's lemonade that's been recycled a few times..." "..." "WHICH STILL COUNTS!"

[@MrWeeseAChine]

This is the lore that games workshop is trying to suppress!

[@manifoldexultant7331]

ork boy: "Smoile poloitely den turn to face camera" meanwhile the kommnader in cheef of the unitid staits : "...end of quote. Repeat the line."

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@MR.LMR1996]

I think we've got a good idea in which chapter is DreadAnon's favorite given how much MM content he makes. The jokes just write themselves with these assholes.

[@oceanman964]

The fact you make more Marines Malevolent content than fucking GW. Keep up the great work, my man.

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@TheWarmachine375]

3:08 Space Twitter still exist in the grimdark future

[@Bananakingchad]

It’s Grim dark future though

[@Bersafor2]

I'm starting to think you make a bunch of Marines Malevolent content because they're basically human Skaven

[@dboot8886]

Damn that's a mood.

[@averageskavenenjoyer3144]

Aren't all humans in 40k skaven? Bunch of power hungry bastards, ruining the day for everyone else

[@higorlauer742]

Thinking about MM as human skaven makes me like them

[@ZetsubouGintama]

Skaven are more likable than this guys.

[@higorlauer742]

@internet drone nah, the only thing they have in common are number

[@TheWarmachine375]

1:27 Salamanders: "Join the Club! We got jackets!"

[@SergioRCambra]

Brother Fraudulus is the best name ever for an MM.

[@Sigismund697]

I love how it was the Salamander who responds to the tweet Those two have a history of being best frienemies

[@SmithOfGear92]

Knowing the Marines Malevolent, they probably did one of the following things when making a lemonade for their lemonade stand: A) They purposefully made the lemonade as awful as they could B) The lemonade is spiked with hard liquor C) They pissed in it Odds are they'll probably just hold people up at gunpoint, forcing them to buy the lemonade anyway... and they'll probably just shoot them regardless if they purchase the lemonade or not.

[@Voltamatum]

I’d assume they murdered the children originally selling the lemonade and took their stand for themselves

[@SmithOfGear92]

@@Voltamatum That's probably what happened. Why did I think they'd go to the trouble of making all that on their own? They're the Marines Malevolent.

[@averageexistenceenjoyer3950]

All of the above, they pissed in the cup and spiked it with hard liquor, while making it as awful as possible. Then they hold you at gun point to make you buy more

[@SmithOfGear92]

@@averageexistenceenjoyer3950 and as I added, they'll probably shoot you anyway, regardless if you buy the lemonade or not.

[@dangarwood7595]

For łnvest Gułde 📊☝☝ Let’s talk↗

[@TheWarmachine375]

3:33 It could be worse like working at the fastfood restaurant where the Ork Warboss was currently working there.

[@ButFirstHeLitItOnFire]

Or manning a food establishment by the city gates in the WH fantasy empire when a roaming gaggle of ogres swings by for a bite to eat…. Big _BIG_ payday, but your stocks are depleted for the next couple of weeks straight, and if anyone missteps so too are your employees. Plus the cleanup would probably be a nightmare even if you and you shop survive.

[@xandemar1388]

So long as malevocoin doesn't cause GPU prices to jump nearly three times their price, more power to them! Also that lemonade is going to taste awfully like piss, isn't it?

[@m-w-y7325]

actually its recycled Piss after it has left their reclamation system of their armour, the rest is squizings from moldy thrown away lemons from an underhive milkshake joint. (most likley the lemon may have been already been drained and are just moldy skin bits)

[@grnme8861]

"Today on imperial news local slaneesh cult goes bankrubt after buying all of the Marines Malevolant piss lemonade"

[@dangarwood7595]

For łnvest Gułde 📊☝☝ Let’s talk✝

[@grnme8861]

This is a scam

[@runningcommentary2125]

Well, they are the pissmarines.

[@erickcuesta6168]

3:33 being the marines malevolent I'm sure that lemonade is actually squig piss or something

[@danieldragotti2608]

Yea; these are definitely perturabos kids

[@lt.branwulfram4794]

If you could digitally interface yourself to the inter webs, then maybe you wouldn't have crashed this hard with the potentially large amount of research you could've done in an instant. Remember, Marines Malevolent, the Flesh is Weak but the Machine is Strong.

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@Nerthos]

>Interface directly with the internet >some salty asshole messes with an upstream github repository >autoupdate >get bricked

[@giorgiofenu5563]

With those colours on their power armor this kind of scam isn't hard to believe

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@jarekwrzosek2048]

Marines Malevolent are ancap libtards. This is my official headcanon. XD

[@annhentaiuser6658]

^This scam above makes the Marines Malevolent's scam more believable.

[@thebighurt2495]

If they needed nerds with no morals, Stygies VIII is *right there.*

[@xXbrokenvoidXx]

"Good luck, I'm behind seven proxies" Now that's a throwback

[@derpanzermacher9094]

"Do you have a permit for that lemonade stand son?"

[@diogoteixeira4950]

Dark Mechanicus: "im a scamers scamer."

[@erdervv]

All these marine malevolent videos are slowly turning me in a marine malevolent fan

[@josephstahl9119]

Sometimes you don't wanna be the bastion of humanity imperium or the nihilistic edgelord choas. Sometimes you just want to be a dick.

[@jkuiu7045]

One of us. One of us

[@Arguingpit93]

Cuz being a war criminal is funny

[@heckinmemes6430]

This coin stinks of heresy and witchcraft. The gas fees are going to be horrendous.

[@lordcaedus8465]

Knowing the marines malevolent, the lemonade is probably piss

[@morgant.dulaman8733]

I wonder if the Marines Malevolent have ever had to work with the Death Korps of Krieg before. I'm kind of torn on what seems the most likely outcome. On the one hand, Kriegers will willingly sacrifice themselves so long as it completes the objective, so I don't think they'd mind the MMs callous treatment as much as other IG regiments. On the other hand, they know their value as specialists, and they want to *sacrifice* for emperor and imperium, not die recklessly or pointlessly. I could almost see some MM space marines getting caught up in some...friendly fire from tanks and artillery if the Kriegers were to find they'd have their comrades needlessly killed or worse, mission objectives threatened by the MMs putting their own agendas over completing their mission.

[@libertinarey]

Those 2 factions would get along great imo. The kriegers would heartily agree that unleashing an artillery barrage whilst they are engaged in close quarters with the enemy is an acceptable strategy and I have no idea where you are getting this depiction of kriegers from. They literally do not care about death and view their life as penance for the sins of their ancestors, whatever the MM would do to them, they would feel they deserve it. We are talking about a faction of human lemmings who need commissars to tell them to stop throwing themselves into pointless deaths ffs. On the MM side the kriegers might actually be some of the rare normal humans they would respect precisely because of their attitude.

[@falconstudios146]

@@libertinarey Pointless death is absolutely not on the Krieger's list of things to do. Marching into enemy fire does serve a purpose - You just check where the most people are dying the fastest, and then you don't send the next wave against those areas. The gathering of that kind of intelligence could, admittedly, be accomplished by basically any other form of reconnaissance, but it's not COMPLETELY pointless, and honestly the life of the average Kriegsman is probably worth about as much to the higher-ups as a Krieg model is to you.

[@riccardo1796]

The MM would go above and beyond to ensure not a single casualty in their allies

[@Furzkampfbomber]

@@libertinarey _'They literally do not care about death'_ But they despise a _pointless_ death. Lifes are the currency of the God Emperor - don't be closefisted, but never squander them in vain.

[@geraldkenneth119]

When the orks are calling you despicable you know you went wrong somewhere in life

[@cooldude1565]

PLEASE continue this storyline, I love it so much

[@JanitorScruffy]

Interesting hazard stripes on those Marines Malevolent. Which would normally imply that they are chaos marines, but because this is the Marines Malevolent, it probably implies that they just stole whatever has hazard stripes on it.

[@demonic_myst4503]

Ironicly their guns are often depicted by gw as havibg hazard stripes on it

[@demonic_myst4503]

Ots one the reasons theirnis a fan theory that the marines malevolent are iron warrior loyalists who are just assholes due to tjeir past bitterness

[@phylippezimmermannpaquin2062]

the lemonade is just lemon juice. no sugar

[@josephmoffatt4696]

No not even that. It’s their damn urine.

[@tonitapola7811]

@@josephmoffatt4696 but do they eat lemons before urinating?

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@arya31ful]

Brother Amphibion : "You know cousins, it's nice to heard you all really getting legit. *sips lemonade* Hmm..., why does this lemonade tastes like a recycled wastewater with Rhino scenteners in it?. MarMal Bros : "Because it is a wastewater with Rhino scenteners in it." Brother Amphibion : :(

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@grimgrahamch.4157]

I was hoping the dark mech would make a Bogdanoff reference.

[@eyeballpapercut4400]

The Bogs are probably successful Iron Warriors Warpsmiths that manipulated the economy of the Warp denizens

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@jirojhasuo2ndgrandcompany745]

Idk why but the Templar Brethren being named Fraudulus seems so hilarious to me

[@diogoteixeira4950]

The Marines Malevolent are the kind of guys to unironically buy NFT's.

[@olegoleg258]

My god, this lemonade tastes like piss I'll take your entire stock!

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@akamal92]

That lemonade is definitely piss. They're definitely selling their own piss.

[@ianyoder2537]

That lemonade stand at the end is what killed me. I like to think there's one marines malevolent who doesn't know there going legit and is selling his piss in a plastic cup.

[@basedrex3736]

Fraudulus is my new favorite 40k character

[@MitchellMeyer702]

1:40 the “real” money is also fake.

[@dangarwood7595]

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[@mothman7430]

the “DIY” on lemonade concerns me more than it should.

[@akashsuresh1369]

I just lose it always when he says "Check twitter we have been rumbled!!."

[@JohnSmith-jr7cp]

>DIY Lemonade LMAO took me a sec.

[@DeusExAngelo]

When do the Marines Malevolent start making their MFT’s? And by MFT’s, I mean *Malevolent Fleecing T’au.*

[@vincecedricsuarez4146]

I love your voice acting.

[@dangarwood7595]

For łnvest Gułde 📊☝☝ Let’s talk✝

[@Franz0818]

The greatest double edged weapon of the entire wh40k universe *Twitter*

[@nogoodnamesleft3965]

The *smile politely then turn to face camera* being used verbally had me rollin. This is why i zoggin love orks

[@Hawkens4k]

bet you five bucks they stole that stand, and even make low grade lemonade n sell it very over priced.

[@zipperdan3969]

"WE NEEDED NERDS.. WITH NO MORAL SCRUPLS" is so quotable

[@mikecampos1193]

The Admech play them like damn fools.

[@niccolomiglio6996]

Poor marines Malevolent, this is their only way to have enough funds to purchase their equipment.

[@sov7513]

Inquisitor: *kicks down frauduls door* you bastard, you are coming with me right now! Frauduls:what do you want from me inquisitor? I'm a clean man now, I'm a small business owner, a real business, I take care of my brothers and pay my taxes. Inquisitor:I need you for a job,a job only you and your brothers can pull. Fraudulus:oh no inquisitor, I'm not going to do it, I'm fine the way I live and so are my brothers the time of being an asshole is over for me. Inquisitor:I didn't ask for your opinion shit face, I DEMAND you do what I want or I will make sure your entire chapter pays for the bullshit of the last millenias Fraudulus:fine inquisitor, we will do your stupid ass job, but after this the malevolent marines are clean, clear? Inquisitor: *smiling* clear

[@GreaterGrievobeast55]

Sounds like some last chancers combo shenanigans brewing.

[@dangarwood7595]

For łnvest Gułde 📊☝☝ Let’s talk

[@MartianBuddy]

When I heard the phone call I expected the bog brothers.

[@kabob0077]

Oh great, now they're Crypto Bros...

[@ChkthDeats]

Of course an ork would read the stage directions during a commerial.

[@Paragon--bm1lp]

I love that you put Iced Earth's Clear the Way as the background song

[@H_Eli]

do you have any grapes?

[@FiveTen007]

The MMs have reached a new peak of malevolence

[@sandwichmonster7067]

Thus ended the age of the Marines Malevolent and began the age of the Marines Benevolent.

[@raphaeldaar]

Cryptocurrency... a lost artifact from the Dark Age of technology... or a accursed knowledge not beneficial to mankind?

[@tatarchan5212]

The most terrifying monetary based heresy that ever emerged from long history of holy terra, rumours says it being invented back in 3rd millennium where most of the human population are still living in small tribal societies called countries.

[@discardtv842]

I wish you could be in the Unification mod beacuse your voice acting is so good

[@TheBigMkuma]

I need a series that’s just the Ed, edd n eddy style scamming adventures of brother fraudulus

[@thedemonhater7748]

Am I the only one who immediately burst out laughing at hearing “Brother Fraudulus?”

[@lumburgapalooza]

The black prayer hands from the Salamander made me chuckle.

[@HispAnakin42]

I freaking love the Ork sponsorship

[@despacitoman1908]

An amazing short story

[@mamons_2339]

imagine Big-E getting rugpulled by these malevolents.

[@snowstorm9310]

I'm sad it didn't end with them behind the lemonade stand going "This is nice" "Yeah, much more stable."

[@Rat_Fบcker]

Ork stoic line delivery is so funny for some reason

[@BierBart12]

An Ork badly reading off a script is one of the funniest things

[@Biodeamon]

I think they'll find a squig harder to kick to death than they think

[@theoverpreparerlamenters3r436]

Oh, that sounds quite ni- and it's already crashed lmao

[@lorddevilfish5868]

2:42 are the Marines Malevolent derived from Rogal Dorn?!

[@spicylemons490]

I’m not drinking that fucking “lemonade”

[@dangarwood7595]

For łnvest Gułde 📊☝☝ Let’s talk⬆

[@sayansaha155]

The inquisitor was like : hmm. Interesting.

[@KielCrassus]

The Ork trying to read the script lmfao.

[@sharkblade2608]

I was half expecting to see Dallas in the last frame

[@prop_copter2172]

Wait, one of marines malevolent is named Brother Fraudulus, when the marines here are technically committing fraud.

[@maudesauve9691]

BRO NO WAY DID I JUST HEAR SOME ICED EARTH IN A 40K VIDEO YOU ARE AWESOME ILY

[@tentonturbo]

Man 40k is horrifying, glad this cryptocurrency stuff doesn't really exist

[@danieldragotti2608]

Wait, couldn't they just take the money and leave ?

[@Glatix]

I 100% believe that the MMs would do this

[@robknight666]

I mean the emperium doesn't have an official centralised currency, so this may have actually worked.

[@mr.jeffmann376]

"Why does my piss taste like lemonade!?"

[@justwannabehappy6735]

Is their DIY lemonade piss ???

[@manlyman2624]

“Every dark elder rule 34 comic” had me dying 😂

[@Sorantheman]

That lemonade is piss, right?

[@arjyabirhazra1135]

The apathetic monotone ork voice makes it even better

[@anexistanthuman2435]

I love the marines malevolent

[@user-zt7ex6ce8g]

The Marines Malevolent keeps winning!

[@Snakedude4life]

Now for step two: Take over marine chapters and rename them to “Elongated Musketrifle Company” 🎩 🐍 no step on Snek! 🇺🇸🇭🇰

[@timmorin6657]

Man, malemonade really taste great, horrible customer service tho

[@dakotamuich4108]

*getting ready to call Salamander,Space Wolves,and Black templars* Slaaneshi what Brother Fradulous?

[@joshuabacharach8124]

2:53 absolutely not🤣🤣