The Marvels - Absolutely Pathetic

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::The Marvels - Absolutely Pathetic::
The latest offering from Disney and the Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Marvels is exactly what we knew it would be: bad. This should be surprising to absolutely no one, but let’s take a look at what we got. Join me for a review.
-Time Stamps-
0:00 - … Yikes
0:37 - The major issues
2:40 - Keeps
3:52 - The story (if you can call it that)
10:16 - The mid-credits scene: desperation
11:21 - Tone and pacing are both awful
14:10 - The actors and characters
17:20 - Collapse of the narrative
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#marvel #mcu #videoessay #themarvels #brielarson #disney #disneyplus #marvelcinematicuniverse

[@SpammytheHedgehog]

Marvel doesn't disappoint when it comes to disappointment. 😂

[@RealityCheck6969]

Good one. Still it's kind of sad.

[@brandonscott5544]

GARBAGE 🗑 THE MARVEL'S MOVIE HOT 🔥 GARBAGE TTERRIBLE.

[@backalleycqc4790]

🤣🤣

[@FunnyClxps]

🔥🔥 comment😭

[@louisianabiggdogg1154]

Yea it’s sad dog be a while to catch up DC level of disappointment though

[@jtakesnols]

Marvel critique videos are genuinely more entertaining than today’s marvel movies

[@snapdragoon1236]

To be fair the 4 round match you have on the toilet at 3 am after eating Taco Bell is more entertaining than marcel movies now.

[@walkerw5087]

@@snapdragoon1236😅

[@RW-zh7kl]

​​@@snapdragoon1236that's way more gross than entertaining lol "butt" I get ur point

[@Caseytify]

Only if you're easily amused.

[@ShinkuGouki]

10:27 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@warriorpoet297]

Love how all these movies pretend that characters like Sarah Connor and Ripley never existed. Strong, badass women without forcing it.

[@carlosatausupa8429]

Arcane: Vi is stronger women without forcing but is good writing.

[@JB-tz8fu]

Not to mention how awesome Atomic Blonde was ....one of my favs.....she earned that W.

[@carlosatausupa8429]

Vi,Lena,Spider-gwen & Atomic Blonde >>>

[@carlosatausupa8429]

Spider-Gwen:Dont please. Spider-Gwen >>> She-Hulk & Captain Marvel

[@saadahmedfilms9157]

Angelina Jolie, Charlize Theron, and Milla Jovovich have been leading women in tons of female-led films. 🤦‍♂

[@majormaxor7592]

I once had a theory about why Puss In Boots: The Last Wish was delayed. And it's that the whole time the creative team kept fighting against the Executive Producers until they the creatice team finally won, and made the movie they wanted. My theory is the same for this movie, but the Executive Producers won instead. The creative team probably didn't even want to make this movie.

[@greayeve3035]

I watched that movie a month or so ago. I'm not sure who won, but I do know it was all the better for it. That movie is so good. I'm surprised it doesn't get more praise.

[@jthoma82]

I swear The main villain is the absolute LEAST intimidating and imposing villain I've ever seen. Like, everything else looks like shit. But she just looks ridiculous

[@Jay-jb2vr]

Straight from the power rangers

[@rickbase833]

Agree....didn't know Meghan Markle was cast as Ronan The Accuser.

[@xgray2012]

She makes Aldrich Killian from Iron Man 3 look like Hannibal Lecter in comparison.

[@xgray2012]

​@@Jay-jb2vrOh please, Lord Zedd, Rita Repulsa, Divatox and the Machine Empire from tne Zordon era of Power Rangers had more dignity than "Dollar Tree Storm" (Dar Benn) does in this movie.

[@Jay-jb2vr]

@@xgray2012 if Dar-Benn was in the Power Rangers or even TMNT, she wouldn't look out of place at all 💯

[@Azmodian]

"I AM SO SAD!" she screamed directly into the camera. The character then proceeds to perform some new power never hinted at before to fix things. - MCU 2023

[@Onepieceistheworstfuckinganime]

0:01 please dont tell me this scene is actually included in the movie

[@ClifftonLee]

​@@Onepieceistheworstfuckinganime why don't you go watch it and find it?

[@saranshmaurya6905]

@@Onepieceistheworstfuckinganime it is.

[@fabiana9478]

The ending of Loki in a nutshell

[@shaneyy__]

@@fabiana9478yeah but at least we were given a great scene with a real conversation between Owen Wilson and Tom Hiddleston. How we got there is stupid, but at the very least I can see why people liked it.

[@cdaffern4707]

The villain is Tom Hiddleston's girlfriend/fiance/mother of his child, in fact it is why she got the role.

[@source3nergy203]

Good to know

[@jennah5990]

Welp

[@tkraid2575]

Seems like nepotism really wins at the end every time 😂

[@sgardner4313]

Seems like they could have given her a role that fits better if they wanted to give her work.

[@sonicinfinity1871]

The singing scenes just need one little thing: a certain man stepping in front of the screen, holding up a clock, and crying, “It’s time to stop!”

[@TtvMomos3388]

I literally considered walking out at that moment.

[@alexdo3838]

I fell a sleep again at that moment😂😂😂

[@Adi-fh8ed]

​@@TtvMomos3388in my theater 3 people that came together left 💀

[@TtvMomos3388]

@@Adi-fh8ed like who in their right mind thinks that scene works in the scale of how serious their trip to that planet was in the context of things? It’s just like how Marvel thought Taika’s handling of Love and Thunder was worthy of being presented in the shittiness it is. Every would-be serious moment is ruined by unnecessary comedy that doesn’t hit home. Fuck those goats. Fuck the love triangle between Mjolnir, Thor, Stormbreaker.

[@LottaLov211]

I went to the bathroom when the musical number happened

[@calebford6318]

I’ve never felt so confident that I will never watch a movie in my entire life.

[@cank.3239]

Yeah same

[@meurer13daniel]

Honestly, it happened before to me. Most of the D+ shows, Love and Thunder, first Captain Marvel, Eternals... Never wanted to whatch those movies and shows

[@zacharyjackson1829]

​@meurer13daniel Hawkeye was nice before the finale. Moon knight was good if you can over the fact that we got so little of moon knight in the og costume and the finale again was shite. Miss marvel seemed good from what I heard and the Loki has been a knockout. I Am Groot was cute at least. You couldn't pay me to watch Love and Thunder, MoM, Quantumania, or this though.

[@REXae86]

I was so confident in Marvel sucking I haven’t even bothered watching the trailers of their new movies anymore

[@youtubeconnollyfamily]

I never felt so confident that I would waste my Internet and watch it online for free lol

[@dataweaver]

The biggest sin of the Marvels is that Rambeau was actually a good character in the comics. But because they were only interested in having her check a box, they didn't bother to include any of the stuff that made the comic version interesting.

[@dragonsyph2557]

Put a Chick in it and make it Lame and Gay.

[@treasure9342]

Welcome to the MCU, this has happend more then once😮‍💨

[@Wesley_Julio_B3]

Taskmaster too😂

[@RRRRRRRRR33]

Related to z-list characters... some fans are used to claim the comic book are better and etc.. but really, there's a reason why z-list characters are categorized that way to begin with. I give some slack to Ms. Marvel because the whole concept of a muslim teenager girl with weird looking super powers, she trying to fit in and etc.. it's a cool concept. But that's pretty much it, this character (all the variations of Captain Marvel, including the original who died of cancer and etc) is a complete failure. I tried to read the second Marvel civil war along other "modern" stuff featuring these characters and then some... man, it sucks

[@dataweaver]

@@RRRRRRRRR33 sometimes a character ends up being z-list because nobody does anything interesting with her. That's what happened with Monica Rambeau: in the 80s, after the original Captain Marvel does of cancer, Monica was created to hold the name. She was placed on the Avengers, which is where I first encountered her. But the only writer interested in her was the one who created her; and when he left the book, she went into limbo and the Captain Marvel name was passed to a relative of the original Captain Marvel. It didn't matter whether or not the fans liked her; the other writers didn't. At the same time, I _do_ get where you're coming from. Marvel Comics wasn't creating “Captain Marvel” characters because they had some cool concept or interesting character that they wanted to explore; they were creating them because they wanted to seize and hold the rights to the Captain Marvel name. When I mentioned “the original Captain Marvel” in the first paragraph above, referring to Marvel Comics' first character to use that name, I was actually fibbing: the _original_ Captain Marvel was a character published back in the Golden Age by Fawcett Comics. DC Comics sued Fawcett claiming that Captain Marvel was a Superman knockoff and forced them to stop publishing, which allowed the Captain Marvel trademark to lapse; and decades later, Marvel Comics decided that they wanted the name for themselves and created their own Captain Marvel character to get it.

[@politekat]

Sometimes i feel like Brie Larson's character in fortnite has more emotion than her character in the MCU

[@theoriginaldemiurge]

The funny thing is from what i hear monica is actually a fan favourite character in the comics. She was the original captian marvel and most consider the definitive version of the character. Which is why it was a baffling decision to basically make her carol's lapdog, what a diverse and inclusive thing for disney to do.

[@smcauley600]

i bet you get turned on by the word woke

[@theoriginaldemiurge]

@smcauley600 I literally didn't use the word woke once in my comment, looks like someone is projecting😭

[@ShadeDraws]

Remember when you guys were screaming "Get woke!" for almost a decade before you got laughed at and are now trying to shame people for reminding you how goofy you sounded?@@smcauley600

[@sharong8794]

They still don't get it, most women and girls hate this stuff. Even friends of mine who are casual viewers of Marvel just cringe at the girl boss obsession.

[@Mr.Corinthians]

They do get it, though. We are not meant to accept this trash, but rather rebel against it and go in another direction. The people who control Hollywood, Blackrock and the banking systems are using reverse psychology in a game of Hegelian dialectic to turn people away from Liberalism towards Conservativism. You may want to do some research on controlled opposition, the Talmud Seven Laws of Noah and Dominion Theology. These people are using media as a trojan horse to create division and to expose their enemies openly by promising them increased rights, privileges and benefits. You'll understand when DJT returns to the White House and guillotines are rolled out to deal with "domestic terrorists and subverters", along with anyone they deem to be too immoral to live.

[@treasure9342]

There is a way to do girl bosses RIGHT and there's are way to do it wrong, marveles dose it wrong, it makes it feel like a product u buy of "women power" instead of a ACTUAL story, because what marvels is, it isn't a movie, it's just a slap of "OH LOOK GIRLS ARE POWERFUL TOO" when yes its a good message......but that's all this "superhero movie" if u can even call it that was, just a message done BADLY on girl power to try to get people to buy tickets FOR THAT REASON ALONE

[@Mountaineer87]

They don't believe you. They think it's impossible for women to be inspired by men. Or at the very least, women that have identifiable weakness.

[@bradnaroallen9429]

This ☝️

[@whenpigsfly8178]

It screams feminist fragility.

[@kaossilator8545]

The worst part is that woman playing the villain. It's obvious she got the role because she's Tom Hiddlestone's wife. She has zero charisma.

[@craigime]

Fiancee

[@ostinpowerjr007]

Welcome to m-she-u baby here everyone listen and see cringy and lame stuffs with unfinished VFX and cgi 😢

[@chandranakash02]

Damn he got no taste in woman😅

[@danielbaydo9091]

​@@chandranakash02fr

[@alexmartin3143]

Pretty sure she was hired before she dated Tom because Tom was with Taylor Swift up to Love and Thunder… Pretty sure principal photography for Marvels was underway. I could see her coming in on the reshoots because of him.

[@AkuTenshiiZero]

Man, that CGI Beast just makes me really appreciate how damn good Kelsey Grammar looked in prosthetics. Nothing in the MCU looks real anymore, most of the time the costumes aren't even real. I miss when studios used to actually make real, physical things for movies. It might take more effort to cover a man in blue fur and makeup, but the result is something real and timeless.

[@jimmelton5846]

As great a career as Samuel L. Jackson has had, the man will be in anything for an easy payday.

[@froggybug]

He’s becoming like Lawrence Fishburne, if he’s in a movie…you may want to wait til it’s streaming

[@godlike3735]

Can't even blame hum the ship is sinking might aswell make some money off of it

[@Dhiya87]

You had to make money while the ship is shinking

[@sianais]

I will never be against old actors getting their paycheck. Anthony Hopkins was on Transformers (I don't know which one), and I'm happy after a long ass career with unforgettable hits, he can now phone it in and get money based on his prestige. Let the legends get their money. They get more for cameo's in these trash films than they did for the iconic films they made great.

[@ptralx3122]

Bad take. Laurence fishburne was great in the John wick films

[@hellfire5108]

The fact that anybody in Disney/Marvel thought doing musical number on a planet where people communicate through dancing and singing is a good idea says everything about the way MCU is heading.

[@Kastafore]

This is the same studio that was fine with the main alternate universe in Multiverse of Madness having the EVER LUDICROUS difference of "green means stop and red means go" for the noteworthy dimensional discrepancy. They simply don't care anymore.

[@kevintheodoreofficial]

Lol when I saw that scene I remember thinking “wow…Disney really tried it 🤦🏾‍♂️ “ - I hope Disney/MCU learn their lesson after this atrocious bs.

[@hellfire5108]

@@kevintheodoreofficial Clearly somebody thought that this will attract those young teens who love to do those sing/dance challenges on TikTok.

[@moneymakingodie]

I immediately logged out mentally during that scene

[@PRT976]

@@hellfire5108 and it surely wouldn't work out. everyone seems to find it cringe af

[@michelleyoung731]

I'm sick of people using their race or gender or sexual preference as a shield against constructive criticism. That's like somebody expecting to be praised for doing a shit job because "you can't criticize me because i'm black.". If you can't tolerate being judged by the quality of your work, you will never get better at your work.

[@1nfinityst0ne]

100% and the fact that that's the only argument people use just shows they can't even defend the movie they love so much

[@MDMediaTV]

because majority of people hate this agenda...

[@nightowlowo149]

I also wish people will stop generalizing instead of giving criticism That doesnt mean the main characters are female only, that it would mean its the cause of the issue. They can literally keep the actors if they want diversity or to promote a movement, its just shitty ass writing 😭 and theyre (marvel studios) using the diveraity shield as a way to mitigate that criticism of the concerned audience instead of looking at the writers themselves. AND IF THE WRITERS EVEN WANT TO PROMOTE FEMALE EMPOWERMENT, POOR WRITING DOEANT HELP YOUR CASE

[@treasure9342]

As a lesbian I can confirm this entire passage is correct👍

[@l_ifeefi_l1998]

Seen it the most in tlm remake. Most that defended the movie were blaxx

[@kjbeast677]

Never would I have thought a modern day superhero film would be so embarrassingly bad that it makes Superman 4: A Quest for Peace look like a masterpiece in comparison, but here we are

[@Dommie222]

At least that movie is entertaining in a so bad its good kindaway. This one is just bad.

[@pbsuite]

If writing is this bad and they want to be paid more Im all for fair pay for the writers but if this is their idea of a good movie I'm sorry, but you deserve less

[@Zappy1210]

I am 100% sure I'll never be disappointed in The Marvels. How do I know you ask? Because I am 100% sure I'll never watch it. 🤣

[@cardsfan5100]

You should because it's a good movie. One of the funniest Marvel movies. If you like that kind of thing, you should go watch.

[@mhw9332]

@@cardsfan5100 said no one

[@alsmith9853]

It's weird how I'm binge watching reviews for a film I have no intention of seeing 😂

[@aldunlop4622]

Me too, it’s like that weird fascination with watching train wrecks.

[@WannabeShady90]

The Fall of 76 has more views than the actual game has buyers. 😂

[@syamnakmuay89]

😂😂 same here

[@joshuaspikes7159]

Bruh I know

[@hgonz14]

That's woke disney in a nutshell.

[@robgau2501]

"Black girl magic!" Yes. They said that in the movie. Supposedly. Lol

[@BSmoothe805]

It worked

[@witchplease9695]

So? Why does that phrase offend y'all

[@christopherhuntsman2701]

@@witchplease96951) what does that phrase even mean? Like honestly as an African American myself, I want to know. 2) And like the commentary said, those phrases are really used to gloss over explaining something out, a cheap way of skipping depth of storytelling.

[@GetCareless]

​@witchplease9695 I just know you'd be outraged if they said white girl power. Don't be a hypocrite

[@seanruben2000]

@@witchplease9695it doesnt offend. Its just cringe. Also your the type that would get offended by “white girl magic”

[@RabbiSteve]

The forgettable villain is both “not-Storm” and “not-Ronin”. Thanks for the review. These kind of reviews are all I’ll ever need from movies like this.

[@sgardner4313]

Yeah, Ronin was already one of the more sub-par villains in the MCU. Making a Ronin copycat? Ugh.

[@christianpanizza2546]

Shout out to all the real hero’s defending us from marvel movies.

[@stevesteve8244]

I found it really funny that Disney advertised The Marvels as a 'fun sci-fi superhero' movie at first, then tried to course correct it by changing the trailers and making it look like an 'epic serious life-changing experience'.

[@Xeorboom]

it lost to Freddy Fazbear...

[@Samtheman798]

​@@Xeorboom I'm not a fnaf fan but ls don't insult a well loved franchise by comparing it to this shit

[@worsethanhitlerpt.2539]

The main problem you cant shake is it just looks like Brie Larson is babysitting 2 "minority girls" - it just looks so Woke and shitty

[@Havibox21]

NEVER compare tobies spiderman 3 scene to ANYTHING. That moment in spiderman gave us golden memes.

[@Theblobmma]

Tbh this movie is such a monumental flop it will be memed in 10 years time

[@yuankun99]

DM (Disney Marvel): We're releasing The Marvels Men: We don't care DM: Well, this wasn't made for you Men: That's fine. We weren't planning on watching it anyways..... Movie bombs at the box office DM: The movie failed as men refused to support women Men: You said this wasn't made for us, so where are all the women this was aimed at?? DM:....... (crickets) I stopped watching Marvel movies after Avengers Endgame. To me that was the end of the MCU.

[@azul93gt38]

Captain Marvel's two sidekicks were made intentionally dumpy and unattractive. It's a luxury they couldn't afford.

[@chintz4561]

It takes some special talent to make a movie not worthy of even being pirated

[@badshootykat5574]

Hahahahah~ Disney/Marvel were always against piracy for movies~ they concocted the perfect formula to do so 👏

[@godlike3735]

I'm ot even gonna bother trying to know what it's about after watching a show as good as loki

[@AtomicSquid5433]

spot on bro

[@dmomintz]

All the cat ladies, winos, girl magic, and beta dads in the universe couldn't save this dud of a film.

[@grandwazoo9112]

Even Stephen King , the sum total of "All the cat ladies, winos, girl magic, and beta dads in the universe", couldn't either!😹

[@veeclash4157]

I still can't believe they ran an 8 hour special promoting the Marvels to cat ladies? WTF were they thinking?

[@DannyDevitoOffical-TrustMeBro]

@@veeclash4157it was the only audience they could hope for, and cat ladies don’t watch marvel.

[@foxygames165]

I guess they thought the growing number of unlovable, unmarriable women would be their saving grace.@@veeclash4157

[@jout738]

@@DannyDevitoOffical-TrustMeBro They dumb focking idiots to bring unlikeable obnoxious ladies to show how its done in meaningless and boring story. Disney paid theselves with their own stupidty, that is so focking hugh.

[@thecowboybebop2071]

Marvel needs to take notes on how to write INCREDIBLE female characters: Faye Valentine from Cowboy Bebop (1998), Sarah Connor from Terminator (1984), Toph Beifong from Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005), Annie Leonhart from Attack on Titan (2013), even Black Widow until they ruined her in Phase 4.

[@liamphibia]

Props to you and all your fellow KZbin reviewers for putting your lives on the line to seeing this atrocity fir us. You have earned our deepest respects. Your reviews we're top tier quality to watch than the sad current state of the MCU.

[@mrloverman2.0]

Woman The Accuser is the best name for this villain. -Nerdrotic

[@bluedistortions]

Woman the False Accuser -updated for our generation

[@jimmyorena9929]

i was looking for this.

[@doublep1980]

When they started vacuuming the ocean from that water planet, I remembered Mel Brooks` "Spaceballs" and started laughing uncontrollably.😂

[@foxygames165]

I had the same goddamn thought. Literally pulling influence from parody and treating it like a serious plot point. The MCU summed up in one scene.

[@CowboyKing]

Spaceballs. Now that's a great movie. I'd pay good money to watch it in a full theatre.

[@KevinIsrael]

Yep, I asked my wife if Brooks would sue.

[@jasonmaclean719]

Not sure if the movie sucked or blew🤔

[@DanielTorres-pw8il]

Yup. They stole the plot from spaceballs and tried to recreate Peter and Tony's "relationship"

[@CHICKENmcNUGGIESMydude]

I've never walked out of a movie in my life I'm really not that critical or picky but honestly after sitting there and getting bored of this movie I got hungry and I just caught up and left didn't even feel bad about not finishing the movie

[@marsmars9130]

My 2 girls hated it, were on there phones telling friends how bad it was. I Wasnt worried about upsetting other movie goers, with their texting, There was hardly no one else in the theater. Yeah from a Dads point of view, it was total CRAP!

[@kode4420]

"Put a woman in it and make it lame!" (Cartman's voice)

[@bmarchai]

Put a chick in it & make her gay 😂

[@calculator91]

Not quite the quote.

[@samokuma9596]

Man, who casted this female villain ? She IS ATROCIOUS.

[@sharksbreath7]

She dates (dated?) Loki Tom Middleston) if that helps explain it. .

[@MrCostaC]

People raved about her in this TV show in the UK. It was a TV show, you need next level charisma for a movie villain 🤦‍♂️

[@lunarvision]

Don’t know who, but what got her cast was being British, female and black. ✅✅✅

[@marychocolatefairy]

That's Zawe Ashton - she is engaged to Tom Hiddleston and they have a child. That's just to be a total coincidence, though... right? Just like when Jessica Gao was hired to make She Hulk, when she self-admittedly had no clue about CGI or courtroom scenes. But she was engaged to someone that worked for Marvel.

[@Aizen2468]

My question is how the director with NO achievements under her belt, got a movie with a half a billion dollar budget. I don't remember anything about someone that she might have slept with to land that job. And having seen her, I can certainly DOUBT she got the job that way. So, how did she land a half billion dollar budget movie to direct? Is Disney that free with their money?

[@brettleisy356]

the biggest surprise with this movie was the evil bad-guy wasn't a straight white male.

[@BlazingKhioneus]

0:13 Incorrect statement: It managed to exceed expectations of what everyone thought it would be, but in the wrong direction.

[@redt8311]

Endgame really was the end of the golden era of the MCU. we have been in limbo ever since. Now we had *some* at the least decent movies/shows since. But it’s clear that the MCU’s Best days are behind it. With not a lot of hope for the future as of now.

[@auburnmann3630]

Loki, Wandavision, Shangchi, Wakanda Forever, No Way Home, Vol.3 or even the Guardians Christmas special didn’t tickle your fancy?

[@gonzalocornejo9267]

i mean, people just think MCU till endgame was perfect xd and no one talks about 2 or 3 characters that doesnt do sh1t for the plot xd + the time awful timetravel, but yeah, compare to this, old mcu was a masterpiece e.e

[@whosasking9655]

@@auburnmann3630Loki and Wandavision were not as great, liked mainly for their sentimental-ness. Wakanda 2.0 was bad, GoTG was always more standalone from the MCU as a whole, also relies on heavy emotional plot to make it decent, the humour was pretty stale and nothing much was at stake apart from Racoon’s life. Doctor strange 2 was trash. Spider-Man no way home was good but part of that was mainly due to nostalgia of the two other Spider-Man and their villains than Tom Holland and his plot itself. These are my opinions anyway, liable to be right or wrong just like yours. So yea

[@SimonG.02]

​​@@whosasking9655You just wrote down all my thougts. I COMPLETELY agree. The MCU is dead.

[@BDV000]

Spot on

[@bambangbudiprayetno2701]

Like people already said, They're no longer making movies or art in general, they just making propaganda.

[@Riversdoc11deff]

this is absolutely correct, no creativity, charisma, talent at all.

[@ChelCM03]

It's not even propaganda cause they're not even trying. They're just regurgitating surface level Twitter liberal talking points and doing nothing else

[@jeremiebradette8502]

You don’t know what propaganda is if you think Mediocre Marvel movie = propaganda. Should’ve listened a bit more in school.

[@johnborda5134]

What about this movie has propaganda?

[@jameslivingston7159]

​@@jeremiebradette8502 there's some propaganda in everything coming from a major studio these days, don't kid yourself. There's entire departments of CIA that exist to work with Hollywood, and not just for war movies and jet rentals.

[@newwaveknight1]

Meanwhile, my girl and I just finished a Lord of the Rings: Extended Edition marathon. 20 years later, those movies have stood the test of time. Emotional performances, badass heroes, great on-screen chemistry, beautiful cinematography, a decent amount of respect for the source material, and special effects that still hold up today. Maybe we should set out to make our fantasy/sci-fi/comics great instead of just box-checking cash grabs.

[@Toolness1]

IMDB 6.1 Google reviews 53% Metascore 51 I trust those way more than RT audience score which I keep seeing the NPCs try to use as a "gotcha" for its laughable 84%. This movie is terrible. Not even worth pirating.

[@MarvinPowell1]

This is literally like the 10th video I've seen tonight crapping on this movie and my schadenfreude is nowhere near done yet.

[@cank.3239]

Oh nice noch ein deutscher der sich das anschaut

[@heatherdaniel5465]

Same

[@abhirupchakrabarty9918]

Disney should get it straight that people go to movies for entertainment and not for politics or propaganda 😤

[@SavedbyGraceAlone1962]

Or for child grooming..

[@brandonkohler6296]

There are neither of those things in this movie though lmao

[@alexanderwindh4830]

Thing is - media is used for brainwashing. It's not entertainment. Everything holds a message and especially big trendy movies. Just look at how society plays around what they see on screen. The 90s early 2000s and now

[@Riversdoc11deff]

these disney simps are brainlessly hilarious!@@brandonkohler6296

[@ChelCM03]

I'm sorry have you watched any movie ever? Star Wars The Hunger Games Indiana Jones Jurassic Park The Incredibles Zootopia and Elemental Planet of the Apes Avatar Star Trek Spiderverse Just to name a few. Some of the most popular movie franchises of ALL TIME are politically coded. What's the point of making true meaningful art if you're not providing commentary on the world around you? Including politics. Filmmaking is an art form, and just like any other art form, people are going to use it to provide commentary on the current state of the world

[@simosan22]

skrulls: we need a planet thanos' empty retirement home: am i a joke to you?

[@Snaok1ns]

8 or so minutes into your review and just imagining sitting through that hell hole is making my brain hurt lmao bless your soul for doing this for us

[@HOPEDACODER]

I expected nothing and I was still disappointed. This movie made me unlock a whole new level of apathy

[@visual1221]

Stone cold facts!

[@urtiz]

Man, I remember the scene where the Marvels couldn’t save every Flurken and CM said “we need to save who we can!”. But after that, we have another scene where the kittens conveniently save everyone in the ship. So we end up with a movie that doesn’t know if it wants to be an adult drama or a Saturday morning cartoon. 🤦‍♂️

[@youtubecanlickmyasshol702]

Neither, it just wants to be a dumpster fire that will burn forever.

[@juliebartlett4222]

They don't even address the cosmic horror of it. As K said in Men in Black: "I've been down the gullet of an interstellar cockroach; that's something I don't want to remember."

[@nathanlongstreet9964]

Miss marvel could’ve been a good street level duo with Kate. Not every character needs to be insanely powerful

[@georgezee5173]

As you said, the post-credit scene feels very improvised in all senses. Not just Beast's CGI rushed, but even Maria Rambeau's costume looks cheap as hell and not properly fitting. This type of post-credit scene is not what Marvel used to pull. This is the new trend in the MCU where they present new stuff out of nowhere and then they won't even bother to make a follow-up of that in the next 4 years. Ridiculous. They used to show stuff that had a follow-up the next year (sometimes they were even scenes of the next movie).

[@GIBBO4182]

Now it’s bombed, I guess we’re on to the “blame men” section of the usual cycle!?

[@redt8311]

Well to be fair, that’s definitely got something to do with it. No one wants to admit it, but it does. Many men aren’t exactly likely to be running to theaters up to see a movie starring not 1 but 3 women. But another part of it has to do with the fact the trailers didn’t look all that amazing to a lot of people as well. And a lot of people have beef in general with brie Larson/captain marvel.

[@GIBBO4182]

@@redt8311men have still made up over 60% of the paying audience, and it’s not supposed to be for men

[@flavionms]

​@@redt8311there's plenty of women out there. In fact, half of all people are woman. So the fact men don't want to watch it isn't an excuse for a movie bombing.

[@jeffreyspinner9720]

It's not blame men at all. The misandry is directed at only white men. With regards to "cycles" that reminds me of this: 6.9 That's when a period gets between something that could be great (assuming you add 2 fingers cause she's worth it, so technically it's a 71).

[@Tim-007]

@@redt8311I’ve got nothing against Brie and I actually like it when women are in the lead role for a change. Guess I’m just more open minded then most of my gender species.

[@HardRockMiner]

When I was a kid my dad was filming a home movie, and he filmed my brother accidentally running over our dog.. That used to be the worst movie I ever watched. Now this movie is. That's how much this sucked.

[@jasonmoody4219]

Who's your dad and brother, Lionel and Jeffrey Dahmer?

[@reddeaddude2187]

I hope to God this is a joke

[@chillyflame383]

@@reddeaddude2187 the movie ain't even bad?? As a straight white guy who disliked the first captain marvel film, I enjoyed this movie, maybe cause I had actual problems with the first film and disliked it for those and not cause of "women", which seems to be the problem this time again. Unfortunate tbh, had a good number of scenes that made me laugh, cgi was better then previous superhero films (minus gotg3 and obviously sm: atsv), and the credit scene went hard, sets up a lot and helps push the overall mcu story which is rare now days

[@reddeaddude2187]

@@chillyflame383 Didn't ask you but okay

[@whenpigsfly8178]

Dark. Almost as dark as the MCU's prospects.

[@maramgreig9036]

Martin Scorsese Was Right,,, Superhero Movies is not Cinema

[@peterpidrak9501]

Glad to see you back with the video. Hope everything is going better.

[@SpammytheHedgehog]

I knew this movie was so bad that I decided NOT to watch it in theaters.

[@leecroft7311]

I haven't had any interest in watching any MCU movie in the cinema since Endgame (it ended there, the story was finished) Imagine going to the cinema to see this nonsense lol

[@hamhockbeans]

Skip for me

[@ThatDorkyReviewShow]

Honestly i watched reviews like this before deciding to watch it anyway and I had fun...it's not perfect by any means and there are cringe moments but I cringed less than I did with love and thunder 😂.....singing planet should have been taken out or actually coupled with good music....I can actually watch this again though...Id still say watch and decide for yourself, I've seem a lot of people who thought the same thing that yes it has flaws but they had fun....

[@charlottewolf9078]

What?

[@boutstaxx]

I thought this was go b a show a movie is laughable

[@mrhoneystinger3676]

We can all see where this is going. The formation of an all female grrrrl powered Avengers that team up to fight their arch-nemesis The Patriarchy.

[@RMMS13]

Please no, once was bad enough

[@gabrielboorom2683]

I think you just described the Avengers movie they're already showing ads for. So far, all the heroes are teenage girls. Kamala Khan is the leader. One movie & she's ready to lead her own team, because girl boss r amazing.

[@alexdo3838]

Yeah untill they go bankrupt.😂😂😂😂

[@RMMS13]

@alexdo3838 Fat chance of Disney ever going bankrupt. They're definitely throwing millions of dollars down the drain though

[@Vishnuk-fe9iv]

​@@gabrielboorom2683amazing for useless femcels.

[@scottr2314]

And to think, Brie Larson wanted her own Avengers movie, LOL

[@Ibby_G]

Hela was a badass woman in the MCU without forcing it. I think the biggest reason she worked is that she was a villain. Disney weren't afraid to write her with flaws and she didn't have to tell us she's amazing, she showed it by destroying the hammer.

[@rxw5520]

“As a woman”, Brie should be furious at all the women who went to see Barbie four times but skipped the girl superhero movie. But she goes out and says she needs men to go save her movie again while she screams “girl power”? It just makes no sense.

[@user-xm5cn1rs5c]

Barbie was a great movie.

[@Cocxy69]

​@@user-xm5cn1rs5cdefinitely wasn't, it was aight I guess. But filled to please the woke people

[@calebcostello2871]

1st, I can’t wait to never watch this! 2nd, thanks for watching it for me and saving time for my life.

[@calebford6318]

Thank you

[@chidubemanukwu]

Let's lie to ourselves, You never going to watch this movie.

[@calebford6318]

@@chidubemanukwu no one ever should. Biggest obvious waste of 250 million I’ve ever seen

[@chidubemanukwu]

@@calebford6318 The flash

[@chidubemanukwu]

@@calebford6318I liked the movie but I will agree that the movie left a lot on the cutting board while trying to pick up the best piece of the dish which just had it felt disjointed.

[@Awoken0]

I remember when people were defending this movie flopping by blaming the actor strike cause "the actors couldn't promote the movie" as if Brie Larson doing a few interviews would have brought in a billion dollars.

[@StefunnyStrange]

The use of the “that muthafucka back there is NOT real” plane clip was GOLD. 😂

[@cameramanj]

“At your convenience movie” is nearly as great a catchphrase as The Critical Drinker’s “Fuck off film!”

[@Sorain1]

Yeah, it's a solid one I'm gonna remember.

[@Hamilton_Gilpin]

I hate how you're the only one talking about this, other creators are just talking about how great it is to have the power puff girls in the MCU

[@thisrichbastard.809]

Well it seems that you haven’t heard of The Critical Drinker.

[@dilipjeevan9945]

I feel either you are idiot, dumb, blind and delusional. This video is about 12th in row where Marvel was judge with right scale and face palmed truth and there own collection shows it. Get back to truth and real... Girl you need to open eyes. I know you are not girl but you are a girl. 😂

[@bloodrunsclear]

I think all the women involved should take ALL the credit for this movie and it's 'success'

[@bobfish3176]

Or lack there of!

[@pbsuite]

The director clearly was not built for this She couldn't handle a big project like this

[@bloodrunsclear]

@@pbsuite But she was commissioned anyway entirely based on her race and gender, not on her merit.

[@ebiyoneyewuoma2004]

The Steven King tweet got me. Like in the MCU's current state, he's still going with the "people don't like this movie 'cause sexism" perspective

[@SolarisKane]

I'm just gonna say it, King isn't that good of a writer and it's proven by how he shills for terrible movies. His books are way too fucking long with much too drawn out descriptions. He's also a bit of a degenerate pervert, look up the scene in the book "It" where the CHILDREN gang bang their little girl friend to escape the sewer. Not surprisingly nobody adapting that book touches that scene with a 100 foot pole.

[@ej4458]

No he said some of the people are not watching it because "yuck girls"

[@aldunlop4622]

You’d think someone whose been writing novels for 50 years would have more brains.

[@melanimatejak2750]

@@aldunlop4622 He had a traffic accident. Obviously, it left his brain permanently damaged.

[@melanimatejak2750]

@@ej4458 Sure, that's why I, being a woman, don't like this movie, because it has girls... Yeah right...

[@carlosvarela7430]

They only had to bring Lizo to the dance scene to complete the absolute mess💃

[@rickbase833]

Ouch....you just reminded me of the Mando Season 3 episode where not did Lizo showed up...but motherlovin Jack Black. What the hell Disney?

[@foxygames165]

Right after canning Gina Carano, too, as if to really cement in the fact that they hate conservatives more than anything.@@rickbase833

[@carlosatausupa8429]

Mario chibi dance. (SUPER MARIO RPG)

[@emmon5377]

Crazy thing is after the flop Disney still wants an all women Avengers.

[@gabrielboorom2683]

Why would they not? As long as they can push this, they WILL push this. It's what happens when you believe your own bullshit.

[@emmon5377]

@@gabrielboorom2683 true, Disney is drowning in their own flawed thinking

[@gabrielboorom2683]

@@emmon5377 Loving every moment of it.😋

[@emmon5377]

@@gabrielboorom2683 me too bro the flop is so beautiful 🤗

[@powerman2610]

This movie got an 84% audiance score on rotten tomatoes, yet i don't know anyone who liked it.. Almost as if it's rigged.

[@gogetavsvegito]

I hate when people misconstrue the Spider-Man 3 dancing scene as cringe. I believe if the intent is supposed to be cringe then it cancels out it becomes something like parody. Peter is a dorky loser who doesn’t know what being cool is, that scene is a glimpse of a geeky dude who finally feels confident, he goes around dancing thinking he looks cool but we the audience essentially know he isn’t cool. That’s why the scene works so well. Were SUPPOSED to laugh at him, because it’s funny to see him become so confident to the point of arrogantly dancing in the streets like a fool. Cringe is only cringe if they were tryna be serious, like the Morbious dance scene (or whole movie) the film takes itself too serious we the audience knows how ridiculous it is.

[@GeorgeMonet]

No. He was supposed to be cool. Because he isn't cool the scene becomes comical for the wrong reasons. Everyone else was right and you were wrong. Accept the reality of it instead of trying to pretend like you and the directors are 100 times smarter than everyone else.

[@xpflowexclusive4313]

​@@GeorgeMonetor maybe... He is right. And you're wrong. The venom amplifies Spiderman's character. Yet he isn't cool... He's a dork or a geek lol. So he dance. But idk ab y'all but that scene was great for me. I NVR seen it as cringe or cool. Just awesome lol. Then again. That dance is iconic and great.

[@source3nergy203]

@@GeorgeMonet”I’m gonna put some dirt in your eye”

[@OmegaIL]

​@@GeorgeMonetyeah, I agree with the guy above you.

[@PeterTeal77]

@@GeorgeMonet no, it is clearly the way original guy described. Did you not notice the hot women snearing at him and the comedic timing of it all? Do you know Sam Raimi's style? It makes me think you are a deeply uncool and alienated person if you really think Peter was supposed to look cool in that scene.

[@kuunami]

Dear Hollywood, Victim hood doesn't sell. Everybody is tired of this including the groups you keep trying to force victimhood onto.

[@Blizofoz45]

65% of the opening weekend audience was young men, which is a bit disturbing to me. It's like voting for the same party over and over even though they keep casting you aside for someone else.

[@bigchungus6827]

@@Blizofoz45 Yea, but, who else would it be? Much as disney keeps trying to market marvel to women, it's hardly a large audience if you compare it to male comic fans. I can't imagine the majority of the new strong female characters being liked by women either.

[@Mikepu86]

How is this moving promoting victimhood? Did you see the movie?

[@Wolffman109]

Signed, the few remaining sane humans.

[@rem0god]

@@Mikepu86no they didn’t lol how did it flop but everyone saw it? They just saw one shitty review and copy paste what they said. They did the same shit wit Barbie.

[@Toliman.]

Keep in mind, the Original release window for The Marvels, before the reshoots was February 2023, where Quantumania ended up. They moved up Ant Man 3, because The Marvels wasn't ready. The director went AWOL, as they'd finished the reshoots before the strike and couldn't bring the actors back, so it all had to be fixed in CG, late stage editing, and she either gave up, or was asked to go with the Eternals Director (sic) to collect unemployment checks (sic). One argument that comes up is why. It turns out that Chapek was behind some of the delays, as this was also around the time of the Chapek DMED debacle and his public knifing in the back. Because of the SAG AFTRA strikes, staff and agents have been gossiping about the Chapek/Iger fight behind the scenes, and The Marvels was one of the things that Chapek wanted to shelve, along with Strange World, Lightyear and others, that "weren't ready" and were too expensive. Chapek wanted to set up DMED, as a sort of "last minute" review committee to slow down and control the 2023 slate of expensive, overproduced and awful movies that were planned, i.e. Elemental, Strange World, Quantumania, Marvels, Black Panther 2, et al. Especially the Phase 5 content, until he was unceremoniously knifed in the back in October 2022. His last meeting, was basically to set up DMED, to control the budget and spending on movies that were going well over $200 million, and to reign in the use of CG budgets because they were overspending. Similar to the Marvel Committee that Ike Perlmutter brought in to review the Phase 1 to Phase 3 movies, and was rather infamously behind rejecting RDJ as Iron Man, until they saw his test footage and OK'd it. As noted, Chapek was fired on a Sunday, after attending an Elton John Concert before thanksgiving/Halloween. We will never know if Chapek would have made better choices. But, I can't help thinking that we wouldn't have Mandalorian Season 3, Ahsoka, Secret Invasion, Echo, Strange World, Lightyear, The Marvels, Elemental, etc. I guess it's impossible to know. I don't even think Chapek was there long enough to start any new movies or TV shows, as he came right as Covid and the lockdowns happened, then as things got back to normal, Iger took over again. Most of the movies coming out next year, started writing/development in 2018-19, but got delayed due to covid. quite a lot of movies got pushed out of 2021 to 2022 and 2023.

[@thepoormanspoet3312]

I have subscribed to you, sir, because I value your thoughtful insights on movies I am interested in. Your memes are funny AF too, bro, seriously. Top-notch editing. 👏👏👏

[@sethraelthebard5459]

Rita Repulsa had a better background and character premise than Woman the Accusor did in this film

[@RMMS13]

I don't know why I laughed so hard reading this. It's such a sad comparison 😅

[@RRTNZ]

Hail Cynic, great review. My question is "who was it made for?" it doesn't seem aimed at either kids or adult core MCU fans. It's aimed at no one really, so no surprise it hasn't made any money

[@Melvin-Deeply]

RIP Calculon

[@rochetstrider8725]

woke people ig

[@PapaEmeritusII]

It's made for minority women of color, I guess... Who aren't the core fan base for Marvel content. A totally insane business decision.

[@DannyDevitoOffical-TrustMeBro]

Liberal women addicted to wine and cat collecting. They’re primarily concentrated around urban areas such as LA and Hollywood, where they exist in great numbers, but are far less common in other areas in which actually being useful humans is a necessary trait for survival. It’s no surprise that the reality-detached species that exists in Hollywood, that are responsible for the turds smeared across all screens in the past few years, think that this subset of women represent a large enough group to make a big-budget superhero action movie profitable, let alone that this demographic would even watch a superhero action movie.

[@marychocolatefairy]

I too would be highly intrigued to know if they even have an intended audience in mind, lol. Lucasfilm too. These films and shows seem aimed at woke investors more than they do actual audiences.

[@thevarietychannelofyoutube4769]

The fact that such a massive amount of people think that "this movie is bad because it's woke and political" is legitimate criticism is really depressing. What makes it worse is that this channel isn't even advertised as an anti-woke channel so it does a lot more to normalize this toxic rhetoric then if the word woke was in every title.

[@chizzy201179]

Editing a CAM verson on the movie into your video just earned my sub

[@bad.sniper.exe...]

The only good thing about this movie is that nobody makes fun of classic characters

[@josesarango3408]

Nick Fury

[@arachnoman7421]

​@@josesarango3408Nick Fury becomes a clown since Captain Marvel 1.

[@josesarango3408]

@@arachnoman7421 agreed

[@visual1221]

@@arachnoman7421 Yes. He could have been omitted from this film and it wouldn't have affected the stale plot.

[@juliebartlett4222]

Monica Rambeau was created in 1982. They may not make fun of her, but they absolutely destroy her.

[@justlivin2499]

I'm glad that people are at least recognizing that Iman Vellani did a good job with what she was given, she's a talented actress and it feels that of the entire cast she was the only one excited to be there, it also helps that she loves the character and is a genuine comic nerd

[@deeem2628]

St fu you Hindu loving simpleton

[@deadschooled]

Who’s gonna tell her that comic nerds hate Kamala Khan….

[@MarvinPowell1]

It's ironic because Iman Vellani is more "popular" and likeable in real life than Kamala Khan has _ever_ been in comics, that one video game, or anything else, and the actress doesn't even look like the character (comic book Kamala being lanky and dark-skinned with long "white girl" hair, instead of how a real Pakistani-American teen would look.) She may be getting praise due to how _inaccurate_ she is to the character, unlike Brie Larson being the "perfect" counterpart to comic book Captain Marvel (who's probably even worse than the movie version.)

[@AntThePianoMan]

​@@deadschooledI know. Most people hate her comics run and she got booted off a game that cost SquareEnnix millions. She wasn't that popular to begin with and exists solely for representation. It's not a bad thing if it's done well. They mishandled her in the MCU.

[@justlivin2499]

@@deadschooled I personally like Ms Marvel in Avengers cartoon series I watched when I was a kid

[@marktheshark7588]

Why it is whenever a Marvel movie underperforms.Some people does want to bring DC's mishaps into the conversation instead of talking about Marvel's mishaps of the past.

[@sourabhkarmakar8040]

Exactly

[@taharger2527]

Thanos B Like "Damn it was the wrong half"

[@SpammytheHedgehog]

This movie makes the first Captain Marvel movie look like Jesus.

[@WhiteArtsMagic]

However, the first Captain Marvel movie exists unlike Jesus

[@yaoriattz7104]

​@@WhiteArtsMagicSaying that Jesus didn't exist is just scientifically wrong tho

[@Its_me_6]

​@@yaoriattz7104wha? So, what scientific evidence says Jesus, son of God themself, existed then

[@WhiteArtsMagic]

@@yaoriattz7104 well it is debated by historians if a historical Jesus actually did exist. Most say historical Jesus, as a person did exist... however, the expounded stories of this man are works of fiction, and this religious Jesus never existed, nor exists today

[@ravissary79]

​@@WhiteArtsMagicthats simply saying "i doubt jesus did x" thats nothing remotely akin to saying "Jesus didnt exist". Equivocating like this is just ignorance at the service of trolling.

[@jdraven0890]

So a Cree, whose race was shown in GOTG-1 to have superhuman abilities to control infinity stones, can't handle two power bracelets but a teenage human with NO abilities or power of her own can? Sure thing, Marvel.

[@GeorgeMonet]

And this was after they already established that humans CAN'T handle them. But I wouldn't expect anyone who works on current Marvel movies to watch the previous movies before shitting out their own flick. That would require the people who worked on this cared about what they were making.

[@gabrielboorom2683]

Girl power.

[@mcvideoxyz]

It takes some serious talent to do multiple reshoots and still bomb it. I was yawning half way in, on a 5 minute recap. Way to go, Panderverse! Wouldn't watch it even on bootleg!

[@Roughly182Eggs]

1:32 Please someone tell me where the “between the Anchovies and Garlic” clip is from, that was the funnies thing I’ve seen. I am desperate and cannot find it

[@analogsignal]

People keep saying Dollar Store Ronin but I think she encompasses more of a jr high drama production of Power Rangers Rita Repulsa

[@bigchungus6827]

Oi, don't diss Rita like that. I feel like any semi competent high school student would be able to get through more of her charisma than dar benn.

[@chrisbrown8748]

I went from blindly going to see every single MCU film released and also buying them on iTunes to where I am today with no intent on seeing this film but I’m looking for all the channels like yours that will rip this trash for what it is.

[@MrLuis85698]

same

[@GeorgeMonet]

For me Ragnarok was the beginning of the total trash MCU movies/shows.

[@emilysimmonsmurillo8183]

what I hate about Disney's female superhero's is that they're so perfect and good at everything. they have no character flaws and they're super good people, and that's what makes them boring. Disney's "girls rule and boys drool" propaganda that they keep putting in every new marvel film just makes the movie boring and painful to watch.

[@user-zl9sh9mz6h]

I looked it up on Wikipedia, and "The Marvels" is the first and only Marvel movie that did not make its budget back. Even the Edward Norton Hulk film made a respectable profit.

[@mriconoclast13]

It's been 12 years since the first Avengers movie. On top of the world to laughingstock in 12 years. Disney never ceases to impress.

[@_Jay_Maker_]

Imagine how their legendary Animation studio must feel.

[@MasterEggroll]

The villain in this movie looks like she belongs in Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood

[@jmoney_29]

It makes some people say, "that's why you can't tell a story with an invincible character" then you realize they did it with a LITERAL NORSE GOD, but I guess the green screen, zero stakes, 2 hour stand up routine caught up with him too

[@hassunkhan9448]

13:27 oh no the mcu made characters with similar looks it’s in shambles… iron-man/war machine/rescue/iron spider/vision black widow/hawkeye/bucky/nick fury ant-man/the wasp and you might be thinking “well they all have similar backgrounds or their costumes were made by the same people” but the same goes for kamala - she bases her suit off of Carol’s. Plus, by the final battle, Carol’s suit is maroon and navy-blue-so-dark-it’s-basically-black while Kamala’s is bright red and royal bl

[@Zervalin]

after all the years of me arguing with other kids back in middle and high school like 5 years ago, about MCU vs DC; i would have never thought i would be so dissapointed about the MCU. what sad times we live in. The MCU has been feminized to hell.

[@IMAMONGUS]

My favorite name for Dar Ben is "female Ronin the metoo accuser" 😂

[@watergirl929]

Lol yeah when I first saw someone call her that I was like LMAO because it’s so true! They tried to make a female Ronin.

[@MrGalactica75]

Who was the guy you added into the video with the funny descriptions to, what looked like, a baking tutorial?

[@YankeeStacking]

The boosted their ESG score. Literally means more than profits.

[@gorman646]

The CGI has that clear, sharp, realistic look of that majestic smash from 70's Saturday morning TV...'Land of the Lost'...breathtaking!