THE MOST C̵͖̅U̵̦͛R̵̝͌S̸̜̃Ḙ̶̕D̴̟̊ OF r/CURSEDCOMMENTS

[@manicsandwich5714]

The fact he says things like “balls deep in an Oompa Loompa” but bleeps out the word ass makes this so much funnier

[@-Kyle404]

Oompa Loompa doopidee do, I've got a bad feeling 'bout you...

[@Vsevolodbochkov]

I wish i was was that oompa loompa

[@bhamoel]

"Oompa Loompa doopadie dee, Please get that fucking thing outta me." 💀

[@balls_gaming]

Nah its because youtube doesnt allow swear

[@TommyKJgaming]

@@Vsevolodbochkov same

[@adanessethesixthadanesseth9816]

Damien actually has a really good Kermit impression.

[@JJ-117.]

On god, I thought that was edited

[@JadeyCatgirl99]

35:10 "We just have a queen that doesn't die." Yeah, uh, about that

[@Anigaming-dz5gh]

Aged badly

[@_honeymilkboba_]

About that…😅

[@andistansbury4366]

Didn't she reincarnate tho?

[@sasvkeee._]

oh crumpets 😰

[@HJKL-hu1ny]

How funny would it have been if she died exactly when Schlatt said he reckons it will happen?

[@thebigbingus8624]

So here's mine; It's quite similar to the one at 41:26. Context: Thanksgiving dinner, extended family is present. For some reason, my older cousin thought it would be funny to tell 8 year old me that "spanking the monkey" is slang for taking a dump. So after our family dinner, I asked my mom in front of my whole family "May I be excused? I need to go spank the monkey." To this day, there is not a single thanksgiving that goes by without someone mentioning the incident. Thanks Adam.

[@nn_eptun8602]

I love stories where it's teaching little kids about slangs with wrong definition and then they get embarrassed and everyone won't stop talking about it

[@jankyplanes]

I remember sitting down with popcorn and soda last year when they made their last compilation. this time I think they put in so much effort to find the best ones. good job guys!

[@Estfireemblem]

I thought it said giggle giggle at the end

[@420_Viper]

who else has this as their favorite subreddit?

[@ahahhaahhahaahahahahahaquitted]

Me! (:

[@zoeiszoeyt265]

Me

[@prodbytarantino]

I stg😭😭

[@Noelleiscute]

Me. Alongside f***uinparticular, crappydesign, and TIHI

[@neB282]

No absolutely not

[@TemnotaVoronya1243]

3:02 "Will not be including photos", that implies that you do have photos

[@talya-adelegrumberg1722]

this deserves to be on the sub redit

[@Broly_TheMetroidFan]

10:12 I love Robin's response to 'the piss drawer'.

[@nathanGC__]

35:24 I guess she didn't stand a chance against Schlatt's karate moves

[@internetexplorer144p]

oh god

[@ahhh844]

omg when I heard that I immediately had to go look it up and was relieved it wasn't november 25th

[@MxSteelscale]

agreed

[@AMindlessFan]

I was not responsible for what happened September 8, 2022-Jschlatt

[@hypardt9525]

@@ahhh844 he was delayed a few mouths so that he could have a meeting with techoblade

[@zrc1514]

35:16 Schlatt expedited his plan.

[@jacobcox4565]

0:01 For anyone actually curious about the lizard she's holding, it looks a Tegu. Tegus are basically if Monitor Lizards were omnivorous and had big jowls like a Green Iguana. Edit: The Tegu's name is MacGuyver and he has his own channel that's mostly videos of him being doted on by his owner.

[@fevre_dream8542]

And they're quite smart. Not great pets unless you really know what you're doing with reptiles though. I see a lot of bigger lizards (iguanas, monitors, tegus) die young because their owners don't care for them properly.

[@ghostfoxfan207]

huh didn't know what that was but now i know thanks for the neat fact.

[@story_bored0]

36:46 "How did you sneak out at night with those things clappin'?" That was the funniest reddit reply I have ever seen

[@VidGirl88]

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try to drink anything while watching this. The commentary, so good yet so evil.

[@sunsetparkslasher7921]

I wish I read this approximately 6 minutes earlier than I did

[@donkeyhobo34]

I'm in love with you

[@Lizzoncker]

@@donkeyhobo34 how old are you

[@ignatiusquietus]

Why was I reading this AFTER I drank and spilled my coffee???

[@mrgta-cj6wx]

JOKES ON YOU I DID HA

[@streetpunkstreams4730]

I find Robin to be very physically attractive. It's the confidently shaming posters for his own reading errors that kills it 😂

[@amandaharl946]

im aro/ace but I agree

[@mincrafterzatplay2842]

WTF

[@lizflessert2427]

@@mincrafterzatplay2842 What’s wrong with that?

[@skylarsworld9477]

@@lizflessert2427 what's wrong is that man's down bad

[@kaiserv1n]

@@amandaharl946 wtf does that even mean

[@bluebird6004]

17:38 Forgive me god for what I am about to do this photo.

[@Banded_]

Yummy.

[@aubreypotter96]

To both of you but excuse me but WTF

[@lisadoherty8573]

3:50 (rewind a bit) not if you're home alone

[@MeerkatDragonheart]

I do miss Damien Really happy he came back for those few specials But really sad he had to go for good Will never hear another like him

[@deotexh]

What happened about him?

[@MeerkatDragonheart]

@@deotexh Nothing, he just moved on when the EmKay team found their new narrators, Damien still has his own channel and discord where he still does reddit readings, just not with EmKay anymore

[@deotexh]

@@MeerkatDragonheart Oh okay ^^

[@legthepeg]

I miss Technoblade :(

[@aleeyaarini2306]

@@legthepeg what?

[@NEXTKINGDOM14]

Please tell me all the emkay narrators all live in same house, it'd be so funny to see Lexi and Robin feud on which is better between cats and meese

[@ZerglingLover]

meese as in mouse or moose?

[@NEXTKINGDOM14]

@@ZerglingLover moose

[@ZerglingLover]

@@NEXTKINGDOM14 If i had to choose a pet, cat would be the obvious choice, but if i had to choose a fighter, a moose is enough to scare away 99.9% of animals. They’re basically miniature hippos.

[@NEXTKINGDOM14]

@@ZerglingLover they can't really scare off wolverines, wolverines are like honey Badgers on crack

[@ZerglingLover]

@@NEXTKINGDOM14 thats why i didnt say every animal

[@Uuuuummmm69420]

Robin:"what's wrong with Schlatt?" Personally, i think everything is wrong with "Schlatt"

[@godhelp7535]

0:54 nah bro thats uncles job

[@shamrockers4744]

Wut?

[@godhelp7535]

@@shamrockers4744 its said "mothers dont teach their daughters to suck dick thats daddys job" i said its uncles job because uncles are known on the internet to be pedophiles and weird. hope that helps but the fact someone is dumb enough to not understand it is astounding.

[@leep3261]

if being cute was a crime, id be released of all charges

[@ItzEllaCookiePlayz]

if being cute was a crime, Id have a life sentence! 🌸🍡✨

[@scp-phenomenon014]

@Kyledevon Nightcore if being cute was a crime i would be a law abiding citizen watching you get arrested on the news

[@unserhumanorandom6224]

if being cute was a crime,id had a life sentence for murdering multiple people at a nazi convention

[@ItzEllaCookiePlayz]

@@unserhumanorandom6224 what is nazi convention I’m 9

[@unserhumanorandom6224]

@@ItzEllaCookiePlayz party

[@BuiHieuDong]

0:27 That's actually an unimaginably painful death.

[@stevegu6377]

whats an oompa loompa

[@Hi-bc4kt]

@@stevegu6377 Seriously? Istg if you're not joking...

[@ahahhaahhahaahahahahahaquitted]

@@stevegu6377 how do you not know what a oompa loompa is?

[@minigunnathaniel]

0:34 this is what they are ​@@stevegu6377

[@bluedemon8486]

15:50 They shared.

[@lamelime1]

oh god

[@lamelime1]

r/cursedcommentscursedcomments

[@Banded_]

That was a yummy snack.

[@shamrockers4744]

​@@Banded_ Pretty nutty too.

[@YourMultiversalShowerShitter]

20:23 for some reason the way that girls face looks distills an anger in me

[@JCGver]

It's the lack of chin to smack your nuts against. Without that the whole experience is ruined

[@Deleted_Eevee]

3:56 notice how the knife is in a different spot in each picture

[@Just_a_commenter]

Some of these cursed comments are going to live rent free in my head, and honestly. I think I can live with that. Also, been a minute since I heard Damien's voice! Nice to hear them on the mic again c:

[@87Event]

goofy is a cow litterally

[@lunar_moth777]

At this point might as well say it

[@87Event]

@@lunar_moth777 pluto (or pludo) is a dog, cows can have whiskers of some sort too

[@skylarsworld9477]

wait wtf is your pfp dude

[@minaashido518]

you stay rent free in my head too

[@EdgyShooter]

Damien has to be my favourite narrator, not too much overthinking or killing the jokes, just having a bunch of fun and laughing his arse off 😂

[@ElijahLothrop]

4:44 MR SQUIDWARD! GET BACK TO WORK!

[@mqgawario8722]

8:47 Looks like Yoshikage Kira was busy.

[@Eastwoodhood]

I hope most of them were from women

[@darkcrydotmrihavetoomanyst1440]

The fact that schlatt accidentally predicted the queen would die is oddly funny

[@JoshSweetvale]

She was, like, 100

[@fivepainbbles]

And the date was suspiciously close

[@CreepersNeedHugs]

20:14 In some places, that was patched!

[@tristan_ellis]

4:26 Nala (I think)

[@Eastwoodhood]

Yes, she is

[@tristan_ellis]

@@Eastwoodhood bingo (its been a while)

[@whatafoolbelieeeeves]

11:52 that godforsaken scream

[@kieravermeal9127]

The fact I clicked on this, then got an ad a second after it plays is HILARIOUS. You gave me a perfectly cut scream. Thank you

[@whatafoolbelieeeeves]

@@kieravermeal9127 no worries i think

[@a_random_youtuber6151]

I dont know why, but Robin sounded like a character dying in the LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga.

[@wantedbird55srandomchannel28]

*UAAUGH*

[@Sebispine]

35:20 this did not age well

[@Emmett_Br0wn]

3:32 AHAHHAHHAHAAA

[@CreepersNeedHugs]

39:47 for those unaware, "le chat" means "the cat." That is the basis of this joke.

[@zerrierslizer1]

"teen left with knife stuck in her face after being robbed" damn, must be one of those magical teleporting knives that leave no trace of it's puncture point when it teleports from the left side of the face to the right.

[@anya665]

Coulda been pics from different phones, or one may have been in front mode while the other was from the back. Hard to be sure but there are obvious explanations too

[@zerrierslizer1]

@@anya665 look closely at the pictures, and you'll see that i am right about it being fake as can be.

[@Flattened-Melodies]

@@zerrierslizer1 its either fake or its from the angle change.

[@zerrierslizer1]

@@Flattened-Melodies nah, it's fake. found out like 4 months ago.

[@ChildDevourer83]

25:56 gotta get egg whites somehow

[@Local_idk]

21:52 The innocent kid yells “F***!”

[@rasazy5441]

Yes

[@gr0ss3r0wy]

19:14 WOAH WOAH-

[@dzg_k]

For part 2 search up: among us d■■■ milky s■■ su■k bl■■■■■

[@Sir_Pentious3234]

Ok ​@@dzg_k

[@abyss7343]

35:05 that aged well..

[@notmatty2263]

3:15 I've heard this joke before just with a different Jack with Jack Black

[@user-sr3zn5me1i]

19:07 I can't help but think 'screwmate'

[@user-sr3zn5me1i]

42:28 on the left there is a very questionable position between two bears

[@Selmarya]

14:10 _You just got hit by crippling depression_

[@leonardorolingstella8554]

19:32 I can't decide whether to feel sorry or happy about the fact that he got a "gift".

[@piggyplayzyt9084]

4:06 The way Damien narrated that part tho 🤣

[@YourMultiversalShowerShitter]

33:28 what kind of sick person would buy this?

[@amelielollz]

1:55 my cousin just began screaming when he said " Kyaaa! " and it just sounded like he just screamef

[@Dargon818]

1:03 WTF IS THIS JOE SWANSON?!

[@Ramsey276one]

5:44 [types in PANIK] I MENANT XD

[@Zequintiny]

I like how the voices change after the ad break. It's like a brief intermission between performances at a show.

[@tulsipa7092]

31:30 *"invasion for the shreckle"*

[@jackdesanta69]

15:17 that´s how creepers were invented...

[@theinternalrevenueservicei6121]

Hearing Kermit refusing VC torture was.... not what I thought I'd be doing at 0153 EST

[@Expertato555]

13:02 I think PhoenixSC has a solution.

[@-Commit-arson-]

47:02 actually, Voldemort is afraid of death so he inflicts it on other people because he thinks it’s the worst thing he can do

[@notarobot1231]

Yep. The Queen thread aged *super* well…

[@user-vx1pc8zr4u]

1:31: Humans are renewable........ Well.......that sounds exactly the like german logic 70 years ago to me.

[@justthinkingthoughts]

the last one killed me, and the cut out was JUST PERFECT

[@TheRealArtimusKnight]

Robin, Lexi, and Damien are my reddit reading holy trinity

[@strawberryduck3080]

Frfr

[@bladeonblitz9281]

5:34 quick correction. that isn't Vishnu, that's Shiva. i can see how u got them mixed up, but to remember which is which, remember that Lord Shiva is the one who has the, let's call it a trident for now, behind him or next to him, and the 3rd eye on the center of his forehead.

[@NeedTherapyUrgently]

Ah damn it i also it was vishnu, they both look really similar

[@rinsatsuki3374]

12:48 Don't worry Robin, I've heard it's a joke ending in a visual novel.

[@T3H_C0SM1C_SP4RT4N]

3:33 "Ill never give you the secrets" - Kermit the Frog

[@nutsi3]

5:42 out of context???

[@Han_Solo6712]

8:02 isn’t actually that cursed, it’s just misinterpreted. The ice cream man pretty much gave little Timmy a job offer. If he helps him serve other customers, he’ll get ice cream for free.

[@SteamCheese1]

As an Asian the first one absolutely sent me.... dying here 🤣

[@Galaxy-Man]

I have a question, do asians see in widescreen?

[@memeboi18]

The person at 1:43 just described the average high school boys locker room

[@davidtapley2932]

7:34 ill serve him chicken wings breaded with fruity pebbles.

[@Lasagnadisliker]

45:40 I was going to sleep tonight but I guess not

[@lilywise2489]

these videos never disappoint! very entertaining.

[@Fazbearfriendsproductions]

0:32 oompa loompa dopidy do my

[@Fazbearfriendsproductions]

*me*

[@nazarostrovsky_]

15:58 poor poor Koichi 😢

[@kernuba3916]

That urinal concept to prevent all that mess. nees to have a clear cover so you can see if anything is in there. "Insert jokes here."

[@jax1744]

It's ironic that Schlatt was only about a month off of the queen's death.

[@CharybdisM0ns]

43:05 "That's not a nose, Charlie!" laughed myself to tears! 🤣

[@AugustRiversJr]

Jumpscared by the name "two mad" appearing in this video because he literally just died

[@OfficialTurnipUp]

This video was 1 year ago TwoMad died on February 13, 2024.

[@AugustRiversJr]

@OfficialTurnipUp ...yeah? That's my point. I just happened to watch it the day he passed and was surprised by the coincidence

[@OfficialTurnipUp]

@@AugustRiversJr Ah, my bad. Sorry

[@mathguy37]

0:13 there are actually 45 types however to some people it’s more, particularly 46 and maybe even 47

[@clairerose4997]

Nobody's talking about Kermit tho at 3:40

[@DanG425]

25:24 oh he was 100% hacking, he later brought himself back to life

[@admiralensin.]

Nah that was a new game

[@angelogaray8019]

42:16 WHY WAS THAT SUCH A GOOD IMPRESSION

[@formallyeastyt1167]

10:40 "Dead Silence activated."

[@YourOnlyHero]

Yesss!!! Its Damien!!! I love the rest of the cast but this guy is the greatest of them all

[@messyman7449]

15:04 Noobs on roblox sending 20,000 emojis per message:

[@dzg_k]

🤔🗿🤗😊🥶🤪🍕🤪😭🖕😐🤪🍕😱😐😊🍕😱🇦🇺🥶🫥🤗📽🥶🫣🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🤪🤓🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸🤨📸

[@monky8557]

Fax no Cao fr 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🥶🥶🥶🥶👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🛩💥🏢🏢🧕🏽🧕🏽🧕🏽🧕🏽🧕🏽🧕🏽🧕🏽💣💣💣💣💣💣💣

[@nutmegdoesstuff1339]

18:35 That's the plot of fnaf.

[@Afton177]

No not really at all

[@donaldmoxham2659]

34:59 "When it's black, fight back" Ah yes, the police officer motto.

[@rroes7319]

The "gtfo" is actually a bad idea. Bears run fast. Bears well false charge you. But they will chase you.

[@TMScientist]

4:37 "Meatbelts everyone!"

[@play3r.wav.]

this won't be a normal firld trip 💀

[@play3r.wav.]

@@USSR605 not sure what they are, but I know this I'm too lazy to fix that

[@Hamzerio]

27:11 new fear unlocked!

[@tysok6792]

Woody singing "you've got a friend IN me" took a bad turn

[@LucreciaCrescentIsBestGirl]

Me: takes a warm bath to unwind after a long day The shoppers in the bathroom section at Home Depot: 11:52

[@CasuallyCold]

9:14 Just imagine if the closed the entrance with the kids still inside.

[@CertifiedElite420]

23:48 oh, yeah! The kids love that place!

[@Nickyonzaza]

33:24 well, it is still crescendo

[@thesalmonguy3342]

For the starting one: the lizard that they’re actually referring to is called a “red Argentina tegu” think of doggo but with scales instead of fur, that’s basically what they are

[@ahahhaahhahaahahahahahaquitted]

Finally another one I could binge watch on (:

[@nonstoppe9]

47:44 that didn't age well.

[@m0thborne]

You know what, I’m just going to say it. The moment at 48:27 convinces me that Robin would be a great anime voice actor.

[@MelonSandBoxNewbie]

I don't get it

[@voidboiyt]

41:36 GLAD TO SEE SOMEONE ELSE SUFFERED THE *SAME FATE*

[@alexmcconaghy3523]

11:50 I started wheezing and the scream 🤣

[@mega_micro]

25:39 Congratulations, you found all seven notebooks!

[@this_dude3881]

Now all you need to do is... G̵̛̦͎̪͔͖̗̖̻̜̩̗̊͛͒̈̈̽́̓̂̎͘͘͜E̸̡̦͉͔̝͙͗͑̃̐͊̋͐ͅT̵͚̙̳͙̹͖̒̓͊̍̇͌̓͐̃̉͘͝ ̴̹͉̥̦̬͌O̴̧̭̤̹͆Ü̵̡̗̤͖͚͕̯̠͓͖͇̭̔T̶̨͕̪̱͍̝̘͚͋͊͑͊͗̀̄͊͗͂̓̊͑̿͝ ̴̛̰̙͓̣͕̝̪̘̩̼̥Ẁ̸̢͉̬̼̣͖̫̠̼͍̬̤̹̩̞͋̄͂Ḧ̴̹͙́̍͆̆͒̔̓͑̇̽͘Ì̷̙̇͐͑͋͐̋͐̈̒͘Ļ̸̛̱͕͎̮̘͓̩̩͒̎̒͗̏͆̕ͅĘ̵̧̛͙͔̯̣̘̲͖́͌́̏̿̔̉ͅ ̶̧̫͙̳̓̎́͂̽͌͋̽̔̿̑̐̕̚Y̸̨̧̢̛͓̙̙͓̫̣̝̌̎͋͛̽͐̃̅̔̏͠Ó̸͕̭̙̥̮̖̯̣͜Ü̷̧͖͚͈͉͈̝̣̲͊̌̈́̒́ ̴̬̾̒S̸̬̳̙͈̈́̾́ͅT̶̨̧̧̪̬͔̗̳̺͓̳̘̉̒͗̑̌̌̏̄̔̈́͆̚͝I̷̧̬̤̍̈́̐͒̈́̐͌̑͝L̵̪̼͔̰̭̫̥̐̒̽͑̾́͐͒͊̀L̶̛͉̎̓͐̂͝ ̸̢̢̛̱̼̯̪͙̭̞̰̞̽̅̅́̔͐́̔̈̀͂̉̚͘C̷̻̝͓̠͈̞̞̗̯̀̍Ä̸̧͕͚͉͓̜͎͇̫͙̪́̎̏̐̔̑͑̌̆̈̈́̿̔͝Ń̸͉͗͑͌̋͐͊͝͝!̴̞̥͚̱͈̭͉͖͎̪̲̣͊̽̾̑̈́̇!̵̛̬̻̙̬̞̞̲̟̝͙̗̅͑̊̆͘͝͝ͅ Hahah! >:D

[@nuts_mann]

"I always knew my tweets would lead to hundreds of deaths" Nope, but they did lead to one