The most common MALE SEXUAL STRATEGY: most men are taxi cabs

[@psychacks]

In today's sponsored episode, I respond to a viewer who is asking after the likelihood of successfully turning things around in his marriage after twelve years of "nice guy" behavior. This is a really common problem, and one that comes up again and again in my paid consultations. First, I explain how men tend to find themselves in this predicament to begin with, by discussing the most common male sexual strategy. Then I discuss what to expect if and when you decide to make a change to an established reinforcement protocol. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode #relationship #dating #redpill

[@masterblaster1502]

The very act of being a nice guy beta husband IS the attraction killer. The husband materiel (s1mp) nice guy is NOT the guy a woman is attracted to, he is the safe bet wallet she settles for. This is why the vast majority of western marriages are dead bedroom. Add in the female dual mating strategy of alpha fux/beta bux, and the married chump is really in a bad place. A man who is married has already submitted to her on a knee. Add in 12 years of supplicating "happy wife, happy life" extreme beta behavior and there is zero chance he can turn it around. She will know it's an act and will literally laugh if a married beta tries to act differently.

[@robertmccabe8632]

Basically the 3Ws. Why are you doing it. What are you wanting to achieve AND WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO END UP.

[@grow-evolve]

Audio broken on this episode on the right earphone only comes out the left so when using only the right earphone entire video is silent. Just feedback not a complaint

[@ethosterros9430]

Hes not responsible for her being an abusive partner. No matter how much of a doormat he was it doesnt give her an excuse to be a bad partner. You leave end of story.

[@dsm5083]

@psychacks please check the audio, only the left channel is working.

[@ikaros9727]

This reminds me of a comment i read once. "If you start out a relationship paying for everything, she will expect you to pay every single time. Simply because that's how you advertised yourself to her"

[@Luzgoishzre]

Thatw just your job to provide for the family lol man nowadays have female energy

[@ikaros9727]

@@Luzgoishzre Then give me a reason on why I should try hard and provide for someone else that is not me? Simply saying that it's the man's job to provide isn't wrong, but in the end there has to be a reason on why I should even do that. After all its hard to take care of someone else and if there's no reason for why I should take on an extra burden, then why do it?

[@petermulinzi1288]

@@Luzgoishzre offsprings it's both our job to provide for them. an able bodied adult why should i toil and sweat to fund their lifestyle?? i understand helping them wen times are tough but signing to slave all my years for them,what benefit is there to sign away all ur working days sweating for a human being that's capable of doing it for themselves plus they can go and u won't get anything in return for ur hardwork

[@angstvision7108]

@@Luzgoishzre EAD

[@elizabethmansfield3609]

Lots of women end up as taxi drivers just the same, in all kinds of relationships. The advice given her is far more widely applicable than stated.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

Great example. Just to extend it slightly. There are also lots of other boats and other women around. The woman chooses one captain and one boat, and the journey starts. But the woman can see all the other captains, boats and women storm off head. All of a sudden the woman starts to get angry at her captain and regrets her choice. An empty boat with a new exciting captain pulls up at night and she jumps onto the new exciting boat taking at least half the fuel and money with her. The first captain's boat stops and begins to sink, and she sails off into the sunset with the new guy and the money and the fuel. This is pretty much the state of modern marriage today.

[@Promet17]

disregarding the modern marriage thing, which is specific to some countries, I think it's excellent that you mentioned that she can see other boats and captains (also the course they take, or at least part of it). Now that one is generic enough to refer to all countries around the globe, and it's really missing in the original analogy.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@Promet17 the fact she can see other captains/boats/journeys/women on IG is a game changer. It causes a huge amount of unhappiness in a marriage because she begins to think she made the wrong choice, her friends are having a better life, she has ruined her life, you have lied to her because you didn't live up to her expectations, etc. Because of things like IG/Tiktok I don't think marriage is a good idea in 2023.

[@Promet17]

@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 You're right, but she doesn't need to have access to internet to see other ships and captains and journeys. She can just talk to a friend who got a seemingly better marriage (and probably left out the problems or the price she paid for it) or watch TV crap (in some unrealistic drama or Hollywood shit movie). Social media just blew an already existing problem out of proportion.

[@carefulcarpenter]

Married 44 years. I worked 80-hr weeks for the first 20 years( 40 hours billed and 40 in development and maintenance). Every step of the way, larger companies and wealthier people stole from me. Of course, they point to their entitlement in their "dog eat dog; pirate ship mentality). I adapted and continued to work hard and stayed honest. My wife married an honest, hard-working craftsman. My major in college was Computer Science in the Engineering Dept. of a major university. I was a top player in a top league, so the likelihood of making an NFL (ship) was looking good. I did become MVP: defence our senior year. Nine of my teammates eventually played in the NFL. My ship was launched after those days. It is clear to me now that my college girlfriend was watching the NFL Draft closely. Funny how sports can give us insights that are not obvious to the press, the scouts, nor our potential ship cargo. 😁 *I have been married for 44 years to the best woman I have ever met!* Although, she is still a woman. 😁 44 years of hard work becomes expected. Then the middle class realizes that they were mislead. Who takes the blame? *the Captain of the Titanic* 🚣‍♀️

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@carefulcarpenter The days of 50 year marriages have long gone. Unfortunately, times have changed, and many people just see marriage as a way to get babies and financial security on divorce. Its sad but true. A lot of these millennials will be lucky to see 15 years of marriage let alone 45 years. No wonder marriage rates and birth rates are at an all time low. In the UK 50% of marriages have gone extinct (there used to be 400k marriages/year in the 1970s but now there are only 200k marriages/year). Marriage will go the way of the floppy disk and VHS tape.

[@zoraster3749]

As a man you must have leverage and abundance (options) in all things, all success flows from this. You’re married, so you gave up a tremendous amount of leverage (modern marriage is designed to do this). To use his ship analogy, you need to communicate who you are, what you’re doing, and where you’re going and she can either join you or get off the boat and you have to be prepared for her to leave. Do you even know these things though? It’s tough to convince someone else to join you if you don’t know these things about yourself. The strongest position in any negotiation is to be able to walk away and mean it. If you can’t get to that point mentally and have a rock solid grasp on your identity don’t even bother bringing it up.

[@AstroSquid]

I often wonder about pick up artists, playing a game to say the right things, calling it confidence. But really he's doing the work so a woman doesn't have to. In some sense this make the man the "slave" to his sex drive.. I have to wonder how successful in life pick artist are beyond their ability to get pussy. I guess in terms of possibly having illegitimated children, on a biological dna level, it's a win.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

You absolutely nailed it. When you get married you hand over all the leverage and power in the relationship over to your wife. As she is able to take the money, house and kids on divorce. This means the husband will find it very difficult to exercise any control or ability to walk away. A lot of young guys screw themselves over at the very beginning of a marriage (unless there is an iron-clad pre-nup in place which kind of levels the playing field).

[@dANbRnL]

I totally get what you're saying and generally agree with your thoughts. However, you said it yourself, modern marriage disempowers men to a large degree through draconian exit taxes from the relationship, not the least of which is loss of access to your children. Walking away sounds great but when you become a once a month dad most likely, that's a huge loss. Forget about the marriage or relationship, most men, I'd say people in general, don't have kids to be once a month parents. You can say 50-50 or every other weekend but I'm sure most guys would echo this, 50-50 and every other weekend usually becomes once a month or even less. That's a big penalty for walking away. For me, it's the only reason I stay.

[@dANbRnL]

@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 Prenups are great but any family court or divorce judge can throw those out. I'm sure you can fight it but dam, brad pitts still fighting it how many years later? and he's got millions and millions of dollars at his disposal. what hope does the average guy have in getting married. you'd better be loaded and have multiple passports if you really want to get married and still have any leverage.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@dANbRnL I would never get married again after my divorce. And I hope my son never gets married. Marriage is just a way for the wife to get 1. babies and 2. financial security at the husband's expense. The whole thing is biased against men because she will get custody and as a direct result he will lose his money and house. It's insane when you think about it. But I would rather be a married guy with a prenup than a married guy without a prenup.

[@zuckthebetacuck2789]

I'll try to be more direct here. If your relationship is going south and she has lost respect for you, kick her to the curb and start over again as the captain of your own ship. Once respect is gone it's gone.

[@autarko]

That's it, but he didn't want to flat out say it. Too hard to hear.

[@smileyent.3055]

Yes the truth is respect that is gone is extremely hard to gain back , meaning you’re better off starting over again , 95% of the times

[@KungFuHustling]

He's got two children already. He didn't expressly state anything about her cheating on him or being directly disrespectful. It's easy for you to give up his relationship, his relationship means nothing to you.

[@brianallen140]

@@KungFuHustling it probably means nothing to his wife either.

[@KungFuHustling]

@@brianallen140 You don't know that. Besides, he's going to do what? Give up half of what he earned over his entire life, lose access to his children, keep making house payments while she's getting railed by half the world all so he can circumvent the difficult work of trying to repair what's he's already built? Doesn't seem like the most astute option.

[@rayrwyr]

If a man is feeling he is not being respected and appreciated by his wife, and if he is feeling abused and taken advantage of, then his self-respect will dimish. There is no point living in such indignified way. He needs to be the man. He needs to be the leader of the relationship. No matter the cost, he needs to be able to walk away from the marriage if he cannot force the changes. Otherwise he will be doomed to live as an unhappy and pathetic soul. I read stories of men who wised up and laid down the law and wife complied because women respect take-charge strong men.

[@rayrwyr]

@Mark Park -- women disrespect cannot-take-charge men much more.

[@melyssagarguilo4570]

It only works if the marriage hasn't died.

[@ilikepancakes2368]

That’s why women love abusive men. They are dominant.

[@rppope1006]

Doesn't matter anymore. I know plenty of men who are truly men and their wife's just straight up disrespect them regardless. It's something withing the "sisterhood" where they are saying no matter what don't respect your man. Ofcourse not all are chosing to follow that though

[@thomaspepper2201]

It only happens if she is smart enough to realize her life will be difficult to move on , most women are NOT SMART ENOUGH to realize the grass will NOT be greener pastures on her move along. They don't believe there value has left them as they have aged. and the ex's has only gone up. Right now the fastest growing group in living in poverty is women in there 50's and up. Divorced and BROKE or they did get things but management and payments collapses there life with there divorce takings. Over whelmed by the things needed to keep it up. While the man just moves on with less stuff and of cores way less head aches

[@revolutionaryfrog]

This channel is the absolute best I've ever come across for relationship content. Real factual, quality analysis. Thank you for you work!

[@zindagijeenede]

I hope people like this comment so that the content can be judged better by viewers

[@Subuhi61]

You've said just exactly how I feel too about the channel.

[@patmagic3301]

I’m thankful I was disillusioned early in life. I was with her from 17 to 22 and for her it was 15 to 20, just babies both of us. Hardly out of the blue but in one night she instigated an argument, ran off on the beach and threw herself at a guy who’s parents had provided him everything including a house. I retired at 50 with my wife . We have a second home in Thailand and enjoy a nice lifestyle. She recently divorced that same guy when his business failed and the real estate market changed. My buddies ran into her at a party. Quoting them “She didn’t look to good” “her face, I don’t know” “you had that at it’s prime” She was my introduction to hypergamy and I’m glad it was him who payed because it could have easily been me.

[@Killajmj]

did you marry the 1st girl at the gogo bar LMAO

[@patmagic3301]

@@Killajmj I get why you’d ask that but no. I met her in the states, good old US of A. I put 25 years in to Law Enforcement and she was an MP at a hospital where I was treated for an injury. Life isn’t without its sense of irony. I’m blessed brother.

[@ziyou3494]

You sound spiteful but I can totally relate.

[@patmagic3301]

@@ziyou3494 The best spite is time and nature. 👍

[@skyarcher9692]

A blessing in disguise.

[@d3a06]

Doc, you may want to get whoever edits your videos to make sure the left and right audio output are both balanced. Several vids only play on one ear when I have earbuds in. Not a huge issue, but it typically comes through the left ear, which tends to be the one I remove when I’m listening while working. Otherwise good content as usual.

[@Florida_Joe75]

Also. The volume is still on the low side.

[@eliascommentonly4652]

🇪🇺✝️👋👋🙏 🇪🇺🇪🇺🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷✝️👋🙏🙏🙏 I admire islam When it comes to wormen They use force and public executions that here is forbidden They dont tolerate shit As we do But I will never abandon faith in jesus For a bitch Let her be killed by an arab or a niga They dont tolerate shit They are not Christians simps as we are ✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️👋👋🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@GL-GildedLining]

This can be fixed even after the video has been published, without interfering with the existing viewership stats, by going into KZbin's built-in editor and uploading a corrected audio track.

[@adhithyakr2913]

I thought this was my earphone's problem. Thanks for this comment.

[@haroonrehman8156]

I really thought my earbuds got messed up 😂

[@Ja50nkAt]

This is like maintaining frame. If you lose frame she loses respect and thinks you're a pushover and then comes resentment. Very difficult to get back.

[@DavidPrice-sm6qb]

Doctor O.T.,, I have been watching your videos for a few weeks now and I must admit that the message you are spreading is spot-on regarding male/female physical and mental tendencies. This message particularly spoke to me because I am that “nice” guy who said “get on my ferry, I’ll take you where you want to go” instead of saying “you can get on my ferry, but here’s the cost” I appreciate your efforts in explaining the deeper truths of men/women and please DO keep publishing videos!!! Respectfully, Dave.

[@autarko]

He's saying it's better not to advertise yourself as a ferry.

[@DavidPrice-sm6qb]

@@autarko agreed, that’s what I was attempting to say, lol

[@psychnstatstutor]

The analogies on your channel are on-point and hilarious; really helps for cultivating some objectivity

[@eliascommentonly4652]

🇪🇺✝️👋👋🙏 🇪🇺🇪🇺🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷✝️👋🙏🙏🙏 I admire islam When it comes to wormen They use force and public executions that here is forbidden They dont tolerate shit As we do But I will never abandon faith in jesus For a bitch Let her be killed by an arab or a niga They dont tolerate shit They are not Christians simps as we are ✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️👋👋🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@MrListen2meplez]

Stellar analysis and analogies…there are more ways to take the red pill/rejecting the blue pill than just getting with a “therapist or life coach.” A determined man can learn from proper examples of other men via reading/videos, etc.

[@markrcca5329]

well stated! I like the analogy with the boat captain :) In my own case, my wife and I had a serious discussion on how we are going to do things, before we actually agreed to get married. We discussed what kind of house we will have, what kind of cars we will drive, etc. I agreed to provide all those things on my own, and I delivered as I promised. Some years later, (surprise!) she wanted to change the agreement. She wanted a bigger/better house, car, and a more luxurious lifestyle generally. I just kept insisting "we had an agreement"; I wasn't interested in dramatically changing my career, which would have been needed to generate a much higher income that could afford the additional things she wanted. Finally, she realized I wouldn't budge, and decided to get a job and develop a career of her own, in order so that she could afford things that were not included in our agreement. That's was fine with me, and we stopped arguing about it! We've had a great marriage since then :)

[@gkauto1959]

I guess you dodged a divorce here; usually dont they just abandon the man and steal his resources through the courts? At least she was willing to go out and get these trinkets herself!

[@markrcca5329]

@@gkauto1959 even if we do not consider any emotional attachment in the equation and just coldly count the money - we were pretty young and there was barely any joint capital she could take with her. I'm sure she would have received spousal support from me, but two people living separately on one salary is two house/rent payments, instead of one; then she could afford even less luxury than when being my wife. And in a divorce only after 2-3 years of marriage, spousal support has a limited term of time. There wouldn't have been any financial benefit to her in a divorce, unless she replaced me with a much wealthier husband. By the way, some of her girlfriends did divorce their husbands in expectation of finding a wealthier one. One divorced 15 years ago; one 10 years ago - guess what, they're still single. Not so easy to find wealthy men out there ☝

[@rhuiden4086]

Beware buddy. If her status rises above yours due to her new career, they may choose to money branch to a man who is higher status than you or generally lose respect even though you are still the breadwinner

[@viyusavery248]

You better not stop posting.. love your balanced work really appreciate ot

[@eliascommentonly4652]

🇪🇺✝️👋👋🙏 🇪🇺🇪🇺🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷✝️👋🙏🙏🙏 I admire islam When it comes to wormen They use force and public executions that here is forbidden They dont tolerate shit As we do But I will never abandon faith in jesus For a bitch Let her be killed by an arab or a niga They dont tolerate shit They are not Christians simps as we are ✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️👋👋🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@snicker12]

Phenomenal analogy

[@polymathg]

If you have made the mistake of trapping yourself into a one-sided transactional relationship and do suddenly announce drastic changes that reclaim your own imperative, you will likely be met by a huge fight and rupture of the relationship. But if you don't announce said changes and instead choose to casually act differently, the woman will begin passively resisting, and the relationship will gradually fall apart after numerous small fights. So you have 4 choices: 1. Continue to disrespect yourself and live a life of no fulfillment as the means to her ends 2. Announce changes and commence with imminent war leading to the certain end of the relationship 3. Don't announce, but enact changes, and commence with many small battles leading to the eventual end of the relationship 4. Tell her you don't want this anymore and end things yourself, risking blow-back I agree that instead being her convenient water taxi, you should be the captain of your own ship and invite the woman to upgrade her life by joining you on your journey. This is the only way to win at life. Great content, as always! P.S. Many videos on this channel are recorded through only the left speaker.

[@eliascommentonly4652]

🇪🇺✝️👋👋🙏 🇪🇺🇪🇺🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷✝️👋🙏🙏🙏 I admire islam When it comes to wormen They use force and public executions that here is forbidden They dont tolerate shit As we do But I will never abandon faith in jesus For a bitch Let her be killed by an arab or a niga They dont tolerate shit They are not Christians simps as we are ✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️👋👋🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@MaryAnnNewsom]

Thank you! I did it backwards according to most women. I enjoy my life. I have a career now that fits around my life as wife and mother and I don’t regret putting my mating strategy first. Also it’s ok if all you want is to be a homemaker, do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

[@auntiebarnes]

I'd find a new activity for the family, something fun but challenging. Without a word about it, I would take the reins, be the man in charge, quietly holding course, teaching everyone involved, self included, a new rhythm that is satisfying for all.

[@silverchairsg]

Genius idea. A sort of Trojan horse to covertly start introducing new norms into the relationship, starting from a seemingly harmless and innocuous arena that is limited in the beginning.

[@eliascommentonly4652]

🇪🇺✝️👋👋🙏 🇪🇺🇪🇺🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷✝️👋🙏🙏🙏 I admire islam When it comes to wormen They use force and public executions that here is forbidden They dont tolerate shit As we do But I will never abandon faith in jesus For a bitch Let her be killed by an arab or a niga They dont tolerate shit They are not Christians simps as we are ✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️👋👋🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@mattk3083]

Dang, I wish I had heard this as a younger man. I spent too long trying to make the women I’ve been in relationships with happy. Only to realize very recently that I was miserable and so were they.

[@b0ndrey]

Thank you for what you’re doing. This one really resonated.

[@rickhewitt1417]

Hey Doc great talk, I went through something similar a couple years ago with a borderline personality. You can only imagine how messy it got. You are right on the money. Thank you for the brilliant clarification great analogy

[@Ace.0.0.0.]

I pity you, man. My stepmother was borderline, To extricate myself (& my siblings) was worthy of one of Hercules' labors. Also tremendously pricey.

[@747Durango]

What are the noticeable or objectionable character traits of someone who has BPD that makes them difficult to be with?

[@13bcoffee]

Someone with BDP will have a hard time maintaining friendships and relationships. Most get very good at meeting people and making good first impressions. As things continue they tend to pick arguments and fights. They become very hard to get along with. Some engage in risky driving and risky sex. I met one and I thought it strange how she had already burnt her family out. None of them and I mean none wanted much to do with her. I thought it strange that she had almost no long terms. When I did meet a few they had a strange attitude and did not hang around to socialize long. A person with BDP will have a hard time keeping a job. She was not a bad person but she was really controversial. I mentioned BDP to her but she said she had never heard of it. I suggested that she bring it up at her next doctors appointment. There is no medication for it but perhaps theory would help. In the end I would call it a serious flaw in a person's personality that keeps them from having long term relationships. The woman that I knew generally only made it anywhere from 7 days to 7 months in a relationship. BPD is more common in women than men.

[@goldeneggduck]

"...practicing the relationship you want with her", very well put.

[@b0ndrey]

This one was very applicable. One of the best you’ve done, and that’s saying something!

[@z0rak]

Even though there's a very high likelihood that I will never find "the one", or have children, I still like to watch your videos because I like the cut of your jib, you make sense and help me see things in a way I've never seen before with your logic.

[@Mead33]

Bedankt

[@ferfighter]

Thanks!

[@coachleif]

"You're gonna get out of that cab" had me rolling. What a hilarious analogy

[@cvinthe2255]

The idea of going into a relationship with the ground rules of what you expect that relationship to be in ten years can not be understated. I learned this one the hard way.

[@alwaysright3943]

Doc, your channel is a gold mine and I'm hooked. Keep up the stellar work.

[@eliascommentonly4652]

🇪🇺✝️👋👋🙏 🇪🇺🇪🇺🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷✝️👋🙏🙏🙏 I admire islam When it comes to wormen They use force and public executions that here is forbidden They dont tolerate shit As we do But I will never abandon faith in jesus For a bitch Let her be killed by an arab or a niga They dont tolerate shit They are not Christians simps as we are ✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️👋👋🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@eliascommentonly4652]

We ate not real aryans Indians and iran are And arabs are stronger than us They dknt tolerate feminism and Marxism

[@alwaysright3943]

@@eliascommentonly4652 I am Iranian.

[@jasminerosewater3891]

another brainwashed lonely man , this advice will only stunt your growth

[@sammyb1651]

The short answer is: no. The client essentially paid for a lengthy preamble, outlining the issue (which he will have already understood) but there's no real good news for him here. It would be so exceptional as to be vanishingly unlikely. Best strategy would be to just start doing things to please himself anyway. Allied to improving himself generally. If she responds positively to that great. If not (more likely) at least find solace in the reason that he's doing it and be less defeated when she rejects the new deal that's on the table. Only other option is to carry on being the taxi tbh.

[@joejones4296]

I think you have it correct.

[@BaremetalBaron]

I mean that is literally the opposite of what the video said. The video said "yes, you can fix this, but you'll have to be diligent, and you'll have to be strategic, and you can't just announce out loud that you're making these changes to the dynamic, but you have a fair shot of succeeding if you do the work."

[@sammyb1651]

@@BaremetalBaron Grossly misstating the odds there but tell yourself what you like.

[@BaremetalBaron]

@@sammyb1651I'm not, I'm just accurately representing the content of the video. I am agnostic as to "the odds", although I do suspect they are higher than you think.

[@sammyb1651]

@@BaremetalBaron I'm not disputing your summary of the content. I'm saying that it's inaccurate. If you think the odds are favourable I'm happy for you. I don't agree with you but I'm sure it brings comfort.

[@dannysgluck]

Thanks!

[@Twentythousandlps]

Your talks are most absorbing and the comments add so much to the format. The result is fascinating.

[@RupertMcGruber]

Binging your great content and feeding the algorithm accordingly.

[@davidbowman2035]

I am close to 50 and never been in a relationship because I got the feeling that I would be used. Very enlightening.

[@mwafrika4]

This is sad, you let fear steal the possibility of joy from you. Please consider therapy.

[@smileyent.3055]

Yes you will be used, but you should be the user as well. It’s about a fair balance of give and take. Essentially like bank accounts. Deposits and withdrawals

[@kamogeloswrt9494]

@SmileyEnt this is not fucking svb

[@daveware4117]

You were correct

[@marcusmcgraw3519]

@@mwafrika4 this guy was correct. It could have ended much worse for him than it did for some of the others. Do not shame him. This is a smart man

[@MisterRose90]

A lot of therapists are part of the problem.

[@Wolf88888]

That is true. I'm a clinical hypnotherapist, in practice for over 20 years. The majority of therapists are Left-leaning and many, if not the majority, are women. Those who are not women are often Beta males. So many therapists are quick to triangle with their clients and team up against their client's spouse who, of course, is rarely present to offer their side of the story. They freely dish out coffee table psychology labels like "narcissist", etc. In so doing, they can often destroy entire families.

[@izafanime]

@@Wolf88888 I'm a current student MFT. Yes, this happens quite often! Students are warned not to take sides, and they're also warned that individual therapy often leads to divorce or breakups because therapists inadvertently take sides. You should be happy to know that the current literature is slowly catching up with these problems.

[@faulrevere8938]

@@Wolf88888 💯🔥👊🏻

[@pete531]

@@Wolf88888 lets see, who do i listen to about relationship problems: 1) wahmen 2) beta male therapist 3) the likes of dan bilzerian / andrew tate / red pill chads

[@talesthesalesman3106]

​@@pete531 love your comment.

[@shay28boxer]

You sir just earned a new subscriber. Describer every relationship ive been in

[@freidenkerin5198]

Um... I believe in the concept of compatibility. Neither the man nor the woman should need to bend over to fit into another persons dream. Be authentic, stop playing games, allow the other person to grow and blossom. Having an honest open conversation about needs reveals pretty quickly if the connection makes sense longterm. If one wants a baby and the other doesn't - this is called incompatibility and both will be happier without each other in the end.

[@DNA350ppm]

True - this path of going about anything, makes you feel OK about your experiences: "be authentic, stop playing games," and in addition take responsibility for yourself, and take it to your goals step by step, openly. Your partner gets a chance to come along and also improve her/his own life simultaneously.

[@ahmedbouretali2656]

Nice analogy makes the concept easy to understand.

[@a.vaccarielli7637]

Great podcasts and chanel. But the audio sometimes comes out in mono btw

[@GhoatFocker]

Appreciate these little talks you do, while I already practice them mostly, they are like little cold splashes of truth water in the morning. Thank you! 💫💯

[@scenoon8140]

The cab scenario 4:18 for the explanation really got me laughing😂 . It really makes sense.

[@steppanwolfe76]

From what I understand, the best thing a man can do is prevent the woman from turning him into something she despises. This can be done assertively but with respect, knowing that there will be an emotional storm even if the man commences to do so at the beginning of the relationship. It also needs to be done with the attitude that the relationship can end. This isn't to say the man will never change, but must change for the relationship and not the woman.

[@obits3]

I’d say it depends. Objectively measure how things are going. If you are happy, then keep going with your strategy/dynamic because you have evidence that it works. Be careful when it comes to “grass is greener on the other side” type thoughts. A retail floor worker isn’t going to get treated like a CEO. Status comes from the perception of competence and responsibility. Know who you are and not who you want to be in theory. If you still want to change the dynamic, your best bet is “boiling the frog.” If you make big changes, she will notice, but you are gambling. She might be positive or push back. Make small changes. For example, if you want to get in shape, don’t go to the gym. Instead, start doing 15 minutes a day of basic calisthenics (pushups, rows, crunches, squats, etc.). Also, make sure it looks logical so she doesn’t catch on. Example: “Why are you doing that? You never used to workout.” Response: “I realized I’m getting older, so I want to stay in basic shape to live longer with you and the kids.” The key here is to make change in a positive direction that won’t trigger a “crabs in a bucket” reaction from her. With enough small changes over the course of a year, you can change her perception without her noticing it until she sees another woman eying you and becomes conscious of your value. Worst case scenario, you are now literally a better person, so, even if she doesn’t change, you can make the choice to stay or leave for your own reasons. Maybe you stay until the kids are in college? Maybe you leave because you are about to trigger long term alimony. A man who has improved his status has choices and can live without regret.

[@bluefig797]

This is some great information.

[@tamarathejudeochristianmedium]

I find that most people I’ve known, men and women, are completely different than when you originally meet them. I think it’s fair to not want to hang out with someone who switches up on you 💙🙏🏻💙

[@jasoncampbell4203]

I think an important point that was kind of substated at the end is, know what you want long term before engaging in long term relationships

[@dantarradellas7351]

Love your analogies. Make a complicated tipis easy to understand.

[@ARdave311]

Man this was amazing thank you dr Taraban

[@theguy9067]

It's all well and good accepting being the taxi driver as long as the passanger is aware of the dynamic enough to appreciate you being you. But a lot of the time the passanger is so used to be driven around she takes it as a default given and therefore demands more and more. As if nothing you do to uphold the relationship is good enough because "that's just how it's supposed to be". And it's small things like taking initiative to be the one who initiates phone calls and/ or is the one to be doing the most travelling to the person. And just an example you think to yourself "will she call me this time" and usually the answer is no, she just gets angry or goes silent because you didn't do "what you were supposed to do" and if you do keep expectedly doing certain things she begins to notice all the things you are not doing or the things you used to do but don't anymore. This isnt all women but it's a lot

[@DarkSoulsMinuteGuides]

Thanks for suggesting a solution for this issue.

[@Ascended23]

I love the use of humor in this one. "Is this a fake cab!?"

[@tehmuffinman1859]

There is a solution is the guy's problem: its called Dread. Thousands of guys, not much different have their journeys detailed on the Married Red Pill subreddit. The question is whether the guy is willing to destroy his marriage in order to achieve what he wants. I can tell the doctor trying to make reference to it in the end but can't openly say it without upsetting a lot of viewers.

[@natureloverbangladesh]

Fabulous .. Such a complex dynamics in simple metaphor

[@serge6598]

I am so gratefull to you making these video's.

[@tylermiller2802]

Incredible. Glad I’m still single and know this stuff now rather than down the line.

[@dustinquinton]

She has lost respect. Once respect is lost, it’s hard to get it back. If woman doesn’t respect a man, she can’t love that man.

[@dustinquinton]

@@sarahrobertson634 very true. Men need to be respected and women need to be loved.

[@dustinquinton]

@@sarahrobertson634 and the song was written by a man. Look it up. And biblically, the Bible says that men love their wives, and women, respect your husbands.

[@Leoo117]

​@Dustin Quinton That scripture is there, because those are the areas where men and women tend to become complacent. Women, because of their more intense emotions which can lead to disrespect if not being careful and reflecting on their behavior, and men because of tending to focusing logically on what needs to be done and forgetting to take into account his wife's feelings and not doing the little affectionate things that help her feel loved by him and has her feeling special to him. Overall though, Sarah is right. Both men and women need love and respect. You can't really have one without the other.

[@dustinquinton]

@@Leoo117 agreed

[@memikel1489]

Wonderful words of wisdom 💯👏 PS I can hear the audio in both ears

[@513digital]

The way you break this down on a psychological level is too brilliant.

[@seangaw6429]

Translation to all Men: Do Not sign a social contract to get the woman in a relationship then, attempt to reconstruct the contract later in order to get what you want. The cab analogy was 💯👍.

[@xpicklepie]

Great gated reverb on your voice!

[@PeterB12345]

Never a bad episode here. Deep life truths, every one of them.

[@darkman9639]

Some real truth bombs here sir, thank you.

[@thedeep436]

I think its important to notice the difference between the boat captain and the cab driver. Both roles are related to the masculine energy of direction but in the first role the captain is the one setting the destination and the women can - after getting aware of the route - agree to come on board. As in the second scenario, the passenger (women) is the one saying where she wants to go, and by providing this service, the cab driver has to agree. The captain is a metaphor for a man with self-directing capability and one that uses this power to direct others under his responsibility (taking them to far lands and unknown places - adventure). And the cab driver is a man without (or very low level) of this self-direction power and is using his time only to take people where they want to go, not taking any responsibility or risk for the journey destination (he is just using his driving ability but not helping anyone to grow, including himself). One is a high risk/high responsibility job and the other is a low risk/low responsibility service. There is nothing wrong in being a captain or a cab driver. As long as there is no inner conflict doing it. The confusion is when you had the means and bought a boat without developing your self-directing power and eventually let the passenger take control of the destination. Translating it: you got married, bought the house and had the kids... but eventually let the woman direct the relationship and you along with it. And now you have no control of the course of your own boat (and also have to use your own energy to navigate it and take care of the ship)... and all of a sudden you became a cab driver of a big ship! You can always quit being a cab driver, but you have to realistically develop (or regain it) your self-directing healthy masculine capabilities - i.e. build a plan - and execute it with intelligence, patience and care as it is a self-development project that will require taking responsibility for your life choices and consequences. The other side of this coin related to the women is the role of the prostitute. When a woman loses or doesn't have the ability to be open to love and change the world through this love (feminine power), she reduces herself to the prostitute role, where there is sex exchange and compensation with no emotional risk. This is ok too, but there will no inner development when there is no real involvement - real giving. - as she is just using her body but not helping anyone to grow, including herself. The dance of masculine and feminine to help each other to develop (long term growing exchange) is being reduced in the so called sex marketplace of today where the healthy role of a man - direction - and the healthy role of a woman - openness - have also being reduced into being a cab driver and a prostitute (short term low risk/no grow direct service exchange), or the new versions of uber driver and onlyfans model. - just to make it more confusing...hahaha....in modern times women eventually became cab drivers for their kids and men became prostitutes for their bosses. Know yourself. Pay attention. Take risks. Be responsible for the outcomes.

[@idlehourlinda6476]

As a woman, if my man came to me, shared his unhappiness and tried to make me understand what you have shared here, I hope that I could be understanding and sincerely try to be open to change. It can only benefit means our relationship if my partner is happy, and although it might threaten me to shake up the status quo I hope I could be flexible and open to him the same way I would want him to be when I need the same. Great food for thought Doc.

[@sammyb1651]

If you have to "hope" (said more than once I note) then you probably wouldn't. "Hope" isn't a plan. Nice sentiments but ultimately of little practical benefit to your man.

[@idlehourlinda6476]

​@@sammyb1651 Good point. I will rephrase that; I WOULD be understanding and open to change, knowing that our relationship would benefit. Glad you pointed out my hesitation; hope is definitely not as effective as simply getting the job done!

[@brendangolledge8312]

@@sammyb1651 I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to say "hope". We don't completely understand ourselves, so we can't know for sure how we would react in a hypothetical situation that we have never experienced before. If I were unsure that I would be able to do something that I thought I ought to do, I would tell myself, "I ought to do this, I would want to do it if my head were screwed on right, and I will try to do it."

[@timgibney5590]

My exgf only dated me on a shot because her original date talked about having problems at work and was not happy. She ghosted his butt and decided to give me a shot. I always remember that

[@silverchairsg]

Yes, but is that woman in question as enlightened as you though?

[@tiffanylongboat9280]

Truly amazing content. I can’t wait to read your book 🤓!

[@jayford1482]

Love the videos brother, but you gotta change your audio to mono before you export😅.

[@lykire1552]

Hey doc, appreciate your content - one minor issue: sound balancing. Sitting here listening through one ear and hearing nothing in the other. Noticing it more in some of your newer content, please check your sound settings!

[@sammyb1651]

In one ear (literally) out the other (metaphorically)

[@matthewgregg3979]

Counsellors and Therapists are generally a bad idea. They just turn you into a chump because they teach you to negotiate.

[@tdaye6978]

Seeing a relationship therapist is literally the most reliable to kill a relationship. It's even worse than being a nice guy

[@rhuiden4086]

Most therapists are gynocentric, a product of the gynocentric system

[@SurprisingLee]

Please fix your audio Dr Orion, only left ear audio is working.

[@stevekoshlyak208]

Brilliant analogy!

[@xerxes-thegodking7884]

Clearly doc. You ain't have never taken a cab in NYC! j/k - Great advice. Love your content.

[@AKARazorback]

Really good example! However, I would have liked to see way mote focus on HOW to make these changes instead of on how not to change them.

[@autarko]

It's almost impossible. Better to end the relationship because she will always see you as the nice guy.

[@XeononC1]

That was great, honestly just wow

[@knuu]

"It is possible to change, but not with a great deal of effort, unfortunately."

[@gagandeep-7774]

Where were you earlier?? Why I never knew these things before? I wasted so much life in studies and work that I never tried to learn theses things and now I am paying for my mistakes.

[@BrunoGabrielAraujoLebtag]

Wow, system theory... emergent behavior... pretty cool.

[@Robinson8491]

Your acting classes really paid of in this scene 👌

[@mateelek1380]

So true, and this leads to domestic violence when the man expects that the marriage years would be different than the start, the courtship. And they get mad over the years

[@philipcabezas4522]

Thank you Dr.! You the best!

[@jalenjohnson6187]

Glad I found your content.

[@jamie59685]

It would have been good to elaborate more on what the possible alternative might look like in more detail. The video makes it clear what to avoid but not what might be an alternative strategy to set from the outset

[@tomaszsosnowski9279]

One alternative is the sidekick analogy. She just follows you along your journey. You simply invite her to whatever you want to do together with a chick, and if that's attractive for her, she will be a yes girl.

[@sullyhirsch1193]

For some reason only my left earphone has audio and I only have this issue buy some of your videos and this videos is one of them On a different note I recently stumbled upon your channel and I immediately fell in love with what your saying. keep up the great work

[@danhle1537]

he has recorded in mono format

[@sullyhirsch1193]

@@danhle1537 I'm not sure what that means Is there a way I can fix it on my end?

[@johannesdolch]

It's not just that you have to change the frame of the relationship. The problem here is that this is a strategy that men employ who actually have nothing to offer by themselves. That's why changing that is so hard, it requires to change yourself, so that you have something to offer that isn't a cab ride. And THEN they need to change the frame.

[@harrybellingham98]

i think alot of guys believe that love exists and are trying to get the same love they got from their mother in a woman which is not real or even obtainable

[@dalewikfors9194]

Very well put.

[@edwardyoutube]

There may be a "shortcut method" to this, I believe. You could break it down in 2 main parallel steps: - learn the basics about female nature - find a purpose in life that drives you, that will be your ultimate direction and everyone who will jump on your boat will be helping you reach that destination (and benefit too from it, of course).

[@mocotonio]

my left ear enjoyed this episode.

[@malepositivemedia7937]

Too long ago, too long apart She couldn't wait another day for The captain of her heart.

[@AaronNel]

Very relevant to my personal situation. Thank you

[@MsLotusBlooms]

I support this message.

[@ryan2clw]

Great advice

[@paulheitkemper1559]

Sorry to nitpick on technical stuff. Your audio is purely in the left channel. Going forward, if you could mix your audio into the left and right, that would be helpful.

[@madness5693]

love your channel bro

[@RandomUser25122]

The problem with the analogy is that she might have thought of the man as the ferryman or taxi driver, whereas the man did not advertise himself as a taxi driver. Marriage is a relationship contract, not a transport one. If the woman felt that this was always t9 be a one-way servicing contract, she should have explained that at the start, clearly. Taxi drivers don’t normally impregnate the cab fare 😂

[@KurtWSwanson]

The transfer of wealth at separation is a metric of inducement to terminate marriages defined by the state.

[@MeeCee5204]

What you're describing is a potential violation of expectations. Expectations that he set in place and now wants to change. He made a choice to behave in a certain way and now regrets it. It is possible to change her expectations of him and it is possible that she may like the change, and just continue on. But like you said, you can't change one part of a system without it affecting other parts. So if he changes, she may very well need to change in order to adapt to the changes he made.

[@____2080_____]

This is an interesting and rather humorous analogy. At least at this time stamp 3:55 The premise of what the doctor is, saying is the premise of the man offering himself as a taxi is that he doesn’t value anything he’s bringing to the table, and he only wants one thing from her that has nothing to do with her. Guys to do this doesn’t even know who the woman is. She fits a brand, she fits a profile, she fits a look, she fits a benefit that is all about him and nothing about her. When the man starts to learn more about who this person is outside of his own mental projections, then he ends up, sharing his disillusionment to KZbin channels like this.

[@fabrizi7362]

Channel is growing so fast. I’m a damn ferry driver and I’m done with it. But I got 2 kids on the boat now🤦‍♂️

[@pete531]

better late than never. love doesnt exist past 22