Women are Delusional and Men are Disenfranchised - The Problem With Modern Relationships

[@smurf88]

The expectations are so high that it’s easier to stay single. You can just relax and enjoy a peaceful life without the pressure.

[@philaman1972]

Exactly. And when you couple this with a divorce rate of 43% (overwhelmingly initiated by women), you need to ask yourself if the risk is worth it.

[@sullathehutt7720]

The purpose of dating used to be the search for a wife, but marriage is obsolete now. No-fault divorce has essentially destroyed marriage as an institution in the modern west, and women all give it up without a ring anyway. If you're not particularly Christian, you could date for companionship without marriage, but that's still a massive liability for the man. The court system and the woman can still wreck your life without just cause. Sex is kinda obsolete anyway, because naughty imagery is freely available in everyone's pocket now. Toys are abundant. Less fulfilling of course, but also a LOT less risky than the real thing. Children are also a massive liability today, so reproduction itself is pretty much obsolete. Which means the family itself is pretty much obsolete. The government won't let you raise your kids in a natural or traditional way, and they'll have absolutely no problem raising your own children to hate you. So that's out. What reason exactly is there left for men to pursue women or relationships at all? Can anyone come up with any? I can't. Modern democracy and modern technology are the root of the problem imo. Men and women no longer need each other for anything. We no longer need marriage or children, both are a liability instead of an asset. So why exactly would anybody date today? For illogical, emotional reasons? That's a flimsy foundation for human relationships.

[@connoro842]

@@sullathehutt7720I feel so deeply sorry for you man.

[@sullathehutt7720]

@@connoro842 Why? Lol. My life isn't bad. It's all these thirsty ass men you should feel sorry for. Ticking time bombs.

[@bidensbikepedal8799]

@@connoro842 I don't feel sorry for him at all, because he understands and acknowledges reality, and not what the media and women try to tell us.

[@jasonmoss305]

This dynamic is so exhausting… no man on this planet is perfect. So, no matter what the men do we ultimately lose as long as women are looking for “perfection”. Its unattainable

[@roberttruman8444]

I've seen some women maintain strict requirements that contradict each other.I saw a video the other day that interviewed women on the street and one woman started by saying that men who try too hard to please her give her the ick, but then moments later she was filmed saying that all men need to treat their women like the princess they are. It was about here when the cameraman quickly tried to cut before this was revealed.I've known a few women with similar standards and criteria requirements that make it virtually impossible to identify a valid suiter because the what helps him satisfy one criteria will likely make him fail at another.

[@BodyLove.Bootcamp]

No self aware women are looking for perfection. We're not perfect ourselves so why would we expect it from a man? Myself and every woman I've ever talked to about the issue (a LOT) really want pretty simple things, like being treated as full human beings, not just body parts. Similar to guys wanting to be appreciated for more than just money. My bar for guys used to be so low that when I met my first guy who actually was ok to just be MY FRIEND and didn't expect anything more from me(after I didn't want to date him) I considered him the best man I ever met in my life and told him I loved him lol. Now I look back and cringe... Being appreciated as a whole person should be the bare minimum. For both sexes

[@BodyLove.Bootcamp]

Y'all may not like this lol but there is a way to do both of those things in balance. I treat women like princesses (after I see they are worth that treatment as determined by their own healthy self worth) AND I don't simp over them or do too much. Basically I know my worth too and have confidence in myself and my own boundaries. sometimes I think y'all just need some genuine women friends for diversity in perspective. Good women friends Will also call out women who are being truly unfair, still being girls girls. Def have to have a great, respectful, energy to genuinely be a friend though. That seems to be the hardest part for most guys ​@@roberttruman8444

[@brianmeen2158]

@@roberttruman8444 do yourself a big favor and please stop watching those street interviews!! You guys watch that shit where some KZbinr interviews drunk women on the street and you blow it up and act like that’s what the average woman thinks. It’s counter productive but I see so many guys falling for it .

[@roberttruman8444]

@@brianmeen2158 That was the first video of that kind and I should hope the last. For what it's worth I don't associate it with all women, but I have recently realised a couple of very manipulative women (mother and ex) and I'll admit it's got me on high alert. I'm learning more about my experience but trying to avoid KZbin rabbit holes and echo chambers. Thanks for the wake up call.

[@takumifujiwara4503]

My great grandfather was a shoemaker in a small village - he found a wife without a problem. My grandfather was working as a factory worker - he found a wife without a problem. My father is a locksmith - he found a wife without a problem. Meanwhile I need to become a rich, emotionally mature, physically fit gigachad with a large social circle to just have a CHANCE of maybe finding some 3/10 women with 20+ bodycount. Nah bro, let's just acknowledge the elephant in the room - the juice is not worth the squeeze in today's dating market. Hoeflation totally destroyed relationships.

[@ManTalks]

This proves what I’m talking about with regards to men being disenfranchised. What you’re basically saying is what women say all the time “there’s no good men!!” But instead, you’re saying “there’s no good women and they are all how I’ve described so I shouldn’t bother.” When you want a needle to sew with, the haystack doesn’t look so bad. But if you buy into the idea that it’s only hay, you’re screwed.

[@likearollingstone007]

Or if you play the game and invest into a relationship it’s only to hear down the road that “she’s not happy…”

[@Concatenate]

Unfortunately, most people are easily influenced and lack critical thinking. Social media has completely destroyed common sense for people. So, men and women swing to the most extreme sides and hate the opposite side. Don't give into it. Be an individual and deal with people individually.

[@takumifujiwara4503]

​@@ManTalks I am not saying that a man shouldn't work on himself. I am saying he shouldn't do it for modern women. And it doesn't comes just from "oh I don't see any good women out there" but also from logical reasons - if as a man you try to date and marry, the whole system is against you - the law (she can divorce-rape you easily with no fault divorce), the social media propaganda (the delusion that you have spoken in this video, average women think that they deserve a charming prince), the economy (it's hard to start a healthy family without owning a house and having a stable financial situation lol), the society (as a men you need to provide everything, while women gives nothing except sex because "they are the table"). It's just not worth it. There is a difference between taking a risk that may pay off and taking a stupid risk where you have a HUGE chance that it will destroy you.

[@yeziagabi7964]

@@ManTalksneedle lol jk

[@matejfele9971]

It's not fear, I simply don't want to manage an adult child.

[@sannjd]

Well said. It shows that men have far more clarity about what's going on than they are accredited to

[@HateBear-real]

Yeah, 'tards don't really do it for me either.

[@mgtowski395]

. . . _that can destroy you_

[@eleanormartin6923]

So true. No Emot. iQ

[@eleanormartin6923]

Gee you are game to state this conversation between the sexes Connor. Well said in general. My comments dont change though.👍😊

[@Anotherguy1st]

Host says: "Women are delusional" Also host Addressing Men: "You have bought into this BS notion that there is something wrong with women!"

[@father5946]

Lol this host is a grifter

[@Reptifitness]

😂😂😂 oh wow

[@BodyLove.Bootcamp]

@@Anotherguy1st y'all have a really hard time with nuance I've noticed and it's a huge part of what's holding you back

[@ajdynamo6866]

That's what happens when you try to play to both sides.

[@subjectowns]

Anyone that’s married will always grift in favor of the woman. And why wouldn’t he? That’s his only option for sex for the rest of his life. Pander away married lads

[@hieronymusbosch9421]

"The guy she saw on tinder" You mean the 9 who slept with her and who she now thinks is her marriage level.

[@spinturt]

many women would rather be the 9s bedroom plaything then to be seen with a 4-7 around her friends 😂

[@espada9]

@@spinturt 40 to 80 is a long time, cats box wine and antidepressants won't make it must easier.....

[@patnix6998]

😂 This is straight truth

[@erikmielke9008]

@@spinturt Who cares what a mentally sterile woman does?

[@bigart9488]

I think this guy must be married because you and I both get it. Women date up and men date down. A women Who is a 4, and sleeps with a few eighths, starts to think she's a 6 or a 7. She starts to look down on 4 and 5 men who are actually on her level. Meanwhile the guy who once or twice in his life lucks up and sleeps with an doesn't inflate his idea of self worth, he just knows he got lucky.

[@BloodyHeck]

You say that men feel disenfranchised but that we shouldn’t blame women, yet the first half of the video is acknowledging that women seem to be delusional as to the type of man they’re going to get. I consider myself an average guy and have always felt invisible to women. I went to college, always had a good career and income, after college I bought a nice house, when I was younger I was 5’11” and while I can’t claim to be built or buff, I’ve always been in good shape. But as an example as to why I feel disenfranchised is that while I was 5’11”, not making it to the magical 6’, I’ve heard “I don’t date short guys” more than a few times in my life. While I owned my own home, that house back in my 20s and 30s was a basic 1,100 sq ft ranch so it was never nice enough. Same with a car, I’d usually be driving a car that was usually no more than 5 years old but because it wasn’t sporty or luxurious enough, it didn’t count. Education, only a 4 year so not impressive enough. Income? I was making $50k back in the 90s and it’s grown since. Now that I’m in my 50s I’m now making right at $100k. Doesn’t matter and never did. Now women want a man who makes at least $200k and despite going on nice vacations, buying nice gifts, going to nice restaurants and events and driving a newer, reliable car, as soon as you tell a women you can’t afford something, you’re seen as too poor to date. Sorry but I don’t think I’m the problem. Yes I feel disenfranchised but I will put 70-80% of that on women being delusional.

[@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life]

Maybe you're trying to date women out of your league? Have you tried dating an average looking woman who's kind and humble? I don't personally know any women who have a checklist. Being a good, kind and decent man is priority. Everything else is a bonus.

[@m-bronte]

I feel like all the comments in this thread are suggesting that all women are sitting in top tear of the pyramid. Never acknowledging that there is an entire group of woman that are average looking, smart and not models. That non of you guys are attracted to! you know.. the book worms, girl with the glasses, the nerd girl non of you want!

[@BloodyHeck]

@@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life Men don't date out of their league because they can't. Average men are lucky to get even the lowest level women to even look at them.

[@gonnacry4513]

​@@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_LifeI know that is what many women seem to think and say, but I stank by this gentleman. Women do start by giving a chance but generally they don't entertain things like this for longer as the typical bad boy gives her his attention. And that's a major problem almost all girls don't know how to really differentiate between sexual attention and relationship attention. That is why many only respond to sexual kind of attention and deem actual relationtion type attention as boring. Plus it doesn't generally help to have a female friend group giving you bad advise on whom to go for and whom not to go for. Sure there are men who don't work on themselves enough. But for every such man, there are twice as many girls out there who are delusional.

[@roberttruman8444]

You're citing all these superficial or materialistic things that you have in your life. What have you developed in your personality to make yourself intellectually stimulating? Sorry if your height is effecting your chances with the ladies. 5'11" seems more than enough. But if it makes you feel unwanted of unattractive then become gay. The gays have a market for any body type it seems, even short men.

[@maafg4435]

When a woman stops being delusional, she has options galore. When a man stops being delusional/becomes enfranchised, he still has to find a needle in a haystack.

[@thedakotalogs]

Men aren't disenfranchised, they understand reality

[@SoloRenegade]

@@thedakotalogs men understand reality, and men are disenfranchised.

[@normanclatcher]

"You want _franchise_ with that? In _Pensacola?"_ --Brian Regan

[@thedakotalogs]

@@SoloRenegade I am not disenfranchised, I understand reality. There is a differencem nothing is keeping me down in life. Men don't have a right or privilege to have women. "deprive (someone) of a right or privilege." They can never be disenfranchised by women.

[@SoloRenegade]

@@thedakotalogs "Men don't have a right or privilege to have women. " who claimed that? not me. learn to read. Women can deprive men of their freedom (false accusations without evidence and without fair trial). Women can deprive men of their children (Unilateral abortion, divorce court laws, child custody). Women can legally enslave men (Alimony and such). Women can trap men without consequence (paternity fraud). Women can lie with impunity and get away with it, no matter how much damage they cause. Women get little to no sentencing compared to men for the same crimes. Women get to vote without having to have any buy-in in society (men face the risk of draft and death to vote). Men do not have the same agency in society that women do, and can literally have their Constitutional freedoms stripped away by the unsubstantiated word of a woman. don't be an ignorant fool.

[@v9b23j]

Esther Perel delves deeply into the challenges men and women face in modern relationships and marriages. “Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. At the same time, we expect our committed relationships to be romantic as well as emotionally and sexually fulfilling. Is it any wonder that so many relationships crumble under the weight of it all?” - Mating in Captivity. "Our expectations of our partners have never been so high. We often put too much pressure on our romantic partners and have unrealistic expectations for them. We expect a lover, best friend, co-parent, advisor, and more, and people usually can’t fulfill all of these different needs all of the time".

[@johnfatorich3494]

Hi Esther😂

[@Thinker1985]

Women need the entire village. Meanwhile, men only need the sex and co-parenting (rest is a good added bonus, for sure), which they mainly expect to source from their wives (as expected). I say to all men: if you are not going to have kids, don't cohabitate, lest your partner will confuse you for a village (last part adapted to echo your own comment).

[@mylesnichols7111]

Fence-sitting hard with this one. Men are disenfranchised because of fear of women? Because of “fragility”? Because they blame women and are not putting in the effort themselves? Give me a break. Men are disenfranchised because most of us are brutally unsuccessful on online dating. Men are disenfranchised because of the impacts from the “also me” movement. Men are disenfranchised because of the mainstream narrative that seems to be anti masculine/pro women.

[@Godisfirst21]

I love masculine men. We love you, Darling. ❤❤❤

[@TrueYankeeFan]

​@@Godisfirst21Thank you for this positive message... please understand, though, that in order for things to really change, women like you need to vocally stand up to the anti-male culture we live in. Men can't do it ourselves because society doesn't listen to us.

[@Godisfirst21]

@TrueYankeeFan We need men. We want men. I can't imagine a world with no men in it. I love to sit and talk with a man and feel that masculine energy. It's divine. How do you feel when you talk to a woman who is loving and sweet on you? Well, that's how I feel when a man desires me. Society is very anti everything right now. The scales seem tipped more towards hate than love. I have walked away from many conversations of hate on both sides. I do NOT want men to live lives of quiet desperation. I do not want men to unalive themselves. It has to stop, and it definitely isn't going to breed through me. I love you, and I encourage you to ask a lovely lady out on a date. Don't deny yourself the opportunity to connect with the female energy.

[@TrueYankeeFan]

@@Godisfirst21 I don't know the words to tell you how much I appreciate reading this... I've struggled with "Unalive Syndrome" for basically my whole life, and I was planning another attempt last weekend that I chickened out of... Especially that last part - I've always felt internalized shame and guilt for being into women because all you ever hear about is how men are pigs who objectify women and yadda yadda. Sorry for dumping my baggage on you, but thanks.

[@subjectowns]

He’s married, he will never say the whole truth; because he doesn’t know it, he’s married.

[@Arielelian]

On the men's side, I can sum the entire situation up in one phrase, "The return on investment is no longer worth the risk." It's a logical statement that anyone who's in business would understand. Yet, somehow people are still confused by it on a relational standpoint. Until the return on investment surpasses the risks, nothing is going to change. Again, a LOGICAL conclusion that anyone with a reasonable mind could surmise. Folks who dislike and/or disagree with this logic (usually women) aren't approaching it from a logical view, but a selfish view (i.e. it's wrong only because I can't get what I want). Thus the only guys left on the market are those who have nothing to lose (or minimal) and everything to gain. Why is anyone shocked?

[@Kevin-ts7hf]

I think the biggest issue we have on an interpersonal societal level is changing the highest ideal from self-sacrifice to self-love. Marriage takes sacrifice. Having children is a sacrifice. Self-love feels fantastic when you’re coming from a place of insecurity or perceived inferiority, but it distorts reality if it isn’t balanced with truth.

[@bjmaynard01]

Could not agree more, in fact no matter how much I sacrificed for others, I never overcame my insecurities, my anxiety, and my feeling of not being good enough to deserve love. I almost killed myself sacrificing for others like we are all taught, but nothing made anything better until I started focusing on me and my needs. After all, if I'm not going to look out for me, who will?

[@stoneylonesome4062]

@@Kevin-ts7hf Another problem with self-love - it can’t replace romantic/sèxùal partnership. Life with a soulmate you can come home to every and have lots of passionate śèx with has a quality - a sublime spiritually-fulfilling quality that most people don’t notice until they’re unwillingly deprive of it for years and years on end.

[@concertoinx9070]

I agree, and tangent to this is that I feel, as a human society (at least in developed areas/countries), we have shifted from communal care/sacrifice to self-preservation. Not that everyone was altruistic in the 20th century and before, but the change is still palpable. There could be various factors for this, and I can speculate about why all day long, but I want to say that it feels like a snowball effect: others prioritizing themselves really makes you feel like a fool for making your own sacrifices ("to what end?"), so you stop. Reversing this on a societal scale seems difficult, but at least we can slowly build up trust within a inner circle of friends and lovers.

[@bjmaynard01]

@@concertoinx9070 solid tangent, I know we used to have to work for the common good or everyone would die

[@c.edwards5421]

I am one of the women who follow you

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

I’m afraid of anything that can assault you in public and get you in trouble for it.

[@davidklementis5913]

It's not a fear of women but of the system or society.

[@EtoCobra]

​@@davidklementis5913 And both will probably support a woman in her dispute with a man. Therefore men should be cautious.

[@rebeccastarns1072]

It is scary BEING a woman...

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

@@rebeccastarns1072 Cool, don't care, didn't ask.

[@musicplug1730]

@@rebeccastarns1072women will say this but still will be dressed half naked out the bars at night . Doesn’t make sense to me

[@kurayamisidekick]

Soooo part 1 women have made the dating game impossible to win for men because of insanely high standards and ditching men at the slightest sign of conflict. Part 2: men you've disenfranchised yourself because you say women are the problem, you say women have insane standards, and you don't want to risk conflict anymore because women will ditch you at the drop of a hat, sooo men it's your fault you have to throw yourself back into the meat grinder women have put in place for you??? Seems like completely dodging the very possibility that men CAN in fact be victims just as much as women, and have gone back to blaming men for everything that happens to them, even when it is completely outside of men's control. Men can and should self improve, but where's the motivation for that where women say 80% of a perfect man is still not good enough? What's the point to improve if it never pans out? You're going against men's fears, without actually looking into what is causing those fears, and whether or not those fears are valid. Telling men to ignore valid fears and just dive head first into the meat grinder is only going to get more men hurt.

[@realBeltalowda]

Facts. Especially coming from someone who hasn’t had to deal with modern dating. So tone deaf and invalidating.

[@Scotty_Bo0m]

Men are the only victims here. Women are doing the choosing, rejecting, & breaking up. Chad isnt hurting them. These women rather share him & compete then go for a regular single guy. This guy is still a feminist grifter. He has been shielded from it cuz he has a wife. But when she divorces him, then he will really find out what women are actually like.

[@certainarchangel8315]

And you notice in the comments that all that's being accomplished is women making it about themselves and blaming men anyway. I can lift, pay my bills, and be outgoing, not enough. WTF are the entitled women doing? And I can almost guarantee a random woman will read this and automatically assume I'm a "narcissistic abuser" or some BS. Shaming and attacking a stranger on the internet for having an opinion, that'll for sure make me want to keep trying.

[@brianmeen2158]

“Completely outside of mens control” But it’s not. If you really examine this problem with women and their entitlement - men have helped form it.. desperate men and simps over the decades have given women everything they want in an attempt to have her be in a relationship with him. These guys give women endless compliments that inflate these women’s self esteem to the point where it’s almost impossible for them to not be full of themselves . This is so easy for me to see so this is why I like to call out men as they have helped create this bad environment we are in now. Granted women also play a big role as their expectations are ridiculous .. overall im not sure just how much we can realistically reduce these problems though - the simp problem is shockingly bad - you have guys paying women thousands of dollars for doing absolutely nothing! If you don’t think this leads to more entitlement than I don’t know what to tell you

[@brianmeen2158]

@@realBeltalowda ok fair enough so what do you want ManTalks to say? You want him to focus on women and tell them to change their ways? And what else?

[@vonesrom9627]

The term fear of women doesn't aptly apply. Noone likes rejection, and younger men may not know how to deal with it. But to call it a fear of women I feel is a misnomer.

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

Apprehension, avoidance, caution, phobia, take your pick. Fear just describes the phenomenon.

[@lavado1phinn]

it’s generally speaking i’d say, there are things he said about women that i didn’t whole heartedly agree with, but then i had to take a step back because it’s likely that it’s just that the shoe doesn’t fit, which is a good thing and the same for you if you don’t relate, however he had worked with many many different people and his wife is a LMFC so that does give an incredible amount of insight, what he says won’t apply to everyone tho

[@GearForTheYear]

Maybe if women were demure like they used to be, men wouldn’t be so hesitant to approach. These days it’s just not worth it.

[@brianmeen2158]

But if young guys refuse to approach girls out of worry of being called a creep - that is fear to some degree.

[@lavado1phinn]

@@brianmeen2158 valid, although it is usually better to meet someone in a familiar environment, there are a lot of creepy men out there, it’s good if you’re not one but women tend to fear being creeped on. it’s just something to be careful about and it’s generally better to meet someone within a familiar circle or a place that you frequent to establish trust. you don’t exactly see girls going out of their way to ask a guy she doesn’t know for his number for example

[@SuperDagod1]

I’m not afraid of women . I’m Afraid of losing my stuff and income.

[@cd0130]

Is like to get married but I'm not prepared for the 50% chance of getting a divorce. Women initiate 60-80% of divorces.

[@annan4866]

I can understand that... .. I had the idea that by getting an education and career so I could provide for myself would help alleviate pressure to provide for me, or threaten taking property away. I can get my own things and don't want anyone else's. I'm willing to take responsibility for my flaws and work to improve them but find many men act like the women they don't like and quit their job feeling that I should provide for them , yet they can't have a real conversation with me??? My kids are grown already. Adult Companionship would be nice but tired of bs excuses for lack of effort. I'm not saying you are like that, just that I found myself thinking alot of men sound like the women they complain about these days

[@mantarayc718]

@@annan4866why try to provide when the govt pays you as a man to stay home and smoke all day

[@sammo5786]

That's what trust accounts and contracts are for. Keeping your house or assets you don't want to lose/share in your parents names isn't a bad way to go either (if you have a trustworthy relationship with them).

[@brendanriuz2864]

There is a difference in the scale of risks. The "backlash" from a risk of rejection is small. The "backlash" from a women deciding she's "unhappy", filing for divorce, getting 60% of everything and alimony, is many magnitudes worse. The woman can even get this if the man has provided everything for her and she doesn't need to work. (In fact, the legal argument is that she needs more because she didn't need to work.) The reality, in today's society, is that a man is risking everything and a woman has a very low risk. From a purely logical perspective, it makes no sense to risk so much for so little gain.

[@thelightnessofbeing-asmr6505]

You don't have to get married, as a woman I am not interested in getting married 🙂

[@TheMotArt]

A family is little gain?

[@thelightnessofbeing-asmr6505]

@@TheMotArt You don't have to marry to have a family 🙂

[@TheMotArt]

@@thelightnessofbeing-asmr6505 good luck with that. For women is posible, but for men... we can't get pregnant as far as I know

[@brianmeen2158]

Guys you always resort to men getting hit hard in divorce but no one is telling you that you have to get married! lol you guys can still go out and meet women and date casually and have fun. But you guys use the most extreme examples to justify not even trying to meet women. I see this over and over. I can’t believe you guys don’t get tired of reciting the same talking points

[@lilsil4361]

I disagree with his insistence in not holding women accountable at all. We are both equally to blame, right? No. Women are the ones who have dramatically changed because of the acceptance of radical feminism. Women unequally initiate divorce 70+% of the time. How unequal of them. Men simply cannot find the safe feminine devoted kind of women they desire to start a family with. We cannot change the culture so we must look eslewhere.

[@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life]

Women will be submissive to a mate worth submitting to. I'm a career woman and entrepreneur and what some might call "masculine" because I uhmm....work. 🙄 But I love being soft with a man, but that man needs to feel like a safe place to land. You don't get that side of us just by having a penis. If you're a low-energy no accountability guy who expects women to just fawn over you, no. You show me you're a safe person, I'll show you femininity.

[@jera9654]

Oh c'mon, be antifragile and take some risks! What's to lose? Work harder! Make it your life purpose to manage their delusional expectations. PASS.

[@owendejong9711]

Literally living up to all the points he told men should improve on 🎉

[@lilsil4361]

@@owendejong9711 There simply are greater factors at play than our never being enough and always needing to improve. The issues are too great. Working on ourselves is not a solution to the problems at hand.

[@brianmeen2158]

@@jera9654 I hear you and get your complaints but honestly, what other option do we have as men? Let’s be honest, very few men(or women) are truly going to be happy or content living out the rest of their life without a mate. The fact that many are trying to fool themselves into thinking it will work for them is hard to see. I totally get mens frustration with modern dating and women. I’m a guy that can attract women fairly easily but even I am scared away from getting into a relationship with them. I don’t have the answers

[@ntolman]

I don't want to put in the work to get rejected 100s of times and only get someone who settles for me.

[@ntolman]

That outcome is unlikely. Most likely outcome is I die alone. Why would I bother when women have better options than the best version of myself?

[@stean90]

start with integrating the rejection by you yourself rejecting all kinds of people. That helped me to get a better handling with rejection. Can be small things like rejecting a call of your mom, or even a eye contact or hello on the street. Enjoy finding out what this makes with you. :)

[@j.davila4523]

Facts

[@stean90]

@@ntolman whatever you believe will stay true but really start listening to encouraging man voices like mantalks and others. Again and again so long until you become more encouraged yourself. Stay brave man.

[@RyuHadokenMaster]

Summary: women are the problem but men are the problem when they say it out loud

[@TrishaNP]

Love how this video challenges people to be responsible for themselves and their own growth, regardless of gender. No one is perfect, and expecting perfection and 100% comfort in a relationship guarantees loneliness. I do, however, see many people doing their inner work, growing, learning what they need in relationships, and no longer compromising on something that makes their life worse off than when they are single; while that does lead to more singleness, it still feels like progress. The 'single and thriving' population, where friends-, family-, and colleague- relationships are rich and healthy, that population is RAPIDLY growing.

[@brianmeen2158]

In my experience, I just don’t see too many “single and thriving” people in their late 30s, 40s and 50s. From what I see very few men or women can live out the remainder of their life without a mate and be fine and content. Only a tiny % can do this but many are trying to fool themselves that it’s possible for most It’s easy to spot the single folks that are trying to make their life seem much better than it is. They say things like “I’m single and I’ve never been happier!” But the fact is, truly happy people will never feel the need to say or announce it 😲

[@Flamepwnz]

Sure, the 'single & thriving' is a growing number of people inside the population as a whole, but they are single and thriving themselves right out of existence as most of them are not reproducing. 1.6 births for every woman is below replacement rate and is set to collapse in the coming decade(s).

[@BodyLove.Bootcamp]

@@Flamepwnz lol idk that we need more ppl in the world as it stands currently. Weren't ppl yelling about overpopulation not long ago... Also choosing not to reproduce doesn't end ones existence don't be so dramatic. Everybody doesn't want kids to begin with, including ppl in happy relationships. Plus Even if population goes down there will always be babies born everyday until Armageddon

[@Billy-bc8pk]

@@BodyLove.Bootcamp Overpopulation was always a myth spurred on by absolutely nothing. It's sickening that people even listened to that fearmongering in the first place.

[@Billy-bc8pk]

@@BodyLove.Bootcamp And what good are babies being born into a collapsing infrastructure?

[@Pieterpittigeportiepeperpathe]

One big reason for entitlement in women is that women will always get attention from a man with a much higher status, looking for a short adventure, but not looking for a relationship. The chance they will have a relationship with such a man is really low, so they settle for less. That makes women think the man is not good enough.

[@hspinnovators5516]

It's not about status. That's Avoidant attachment

[@Pieterpittigeportiepeperpathe]

​@@hspinnovators5516In psychology there is rarely just one explanation for a phenomenon. Your explanation doesn't have to rule out mine. In my view both causes can explain entitlement. To think you're entitled may come from perceived self worth. Acting entitled may be used to create a distance and in that case may come from avoidant attachment.

[@carltonpenaloza1395]

90% of women are dating top 10% of men. Meanwhile in Colombia and Brazil etc 9’s and 10’s are staying loyal to any and all riff raff from the Sates. Ok riff raff was harsh but let’s just say they are far from the top 10%, and they are killing it. I keep seeing my harem of South Americans drop off one by one to these dudes 🤣 and good for them

[@danielbezjak1479]

It's crazy out here. I've built a very decent life for myself. Own my own business. Have a nice home on a couple acres. 6ft tall, fit, decent looking. Good family values. No vices. Dated a bunch but have not been able to find a decent girl worth settling down with. They either have a lot of past trauma, have a masculine attitude or act as if they're doing me a favour by being with me. Just earlier today as I finished cutting the grass, I was looking out at my property and was thinking to myself how crazy it is that all a girl would have to do to be a part of my life and share in everything I've built is just not be a typical modern woman. Our society just does not produce marriageable women any more.

[@Zeethos]

Your last two sentences are the reason you’re not finding anyone. You’re probably miserable to be around, no matter how many boxes on the checklist you’ve checked.

[@danielbezjak1479]

@@Zeethos how so? My last 3 girlfriends would beg to differ seeing as they each wanted marriage but I had to cut things off for the reasons stated above. If you know where to find traditional women please let me know.

[@Photik]

Have you tried in person meetings and have you gotten off the dating apps? Reality is different than online. Once you realize that, just put yourself out there. Tell your friends and coworkers or family that you're trying to date if you're comfortable. Some people might know someone to put you on a blind date with.

[@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life]

What exactly is a modern woman anyway? Not in a "she's a feminist" description, but what exactly do you mean? If a woman accumulated all of the things you have (great job, house, acres...) would she be considered masculine because she worked hard to get that? It's frustrating because we have no choice but to work hard to survive and unfortunately that seems to make us "masculine" when it's really us just trying to make a foot print like you. Are men mad because women no longer submit to them like we used to?

[@Zeethos]

@@danielbezjak1479 there is no such thing as traditional women… going back to you being insufferable. What you troggs describe as a “traditional” only existed for ~20 years. Go learn some history and understand what women have actually done in regard to their half of a relationship.

[@Gracialahaight]

Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.

[@MaryRosent]

Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.

[@Gracialahaight]

Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?

[@MaryRosent]

His name is Fatherabulu, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.

[@Gracialahaight]

Thank you for sharing this valuable info! I just looked him up, and he seems impressive.

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

I'm one of the fragile men. Not from women though, from 40 years of undiagnosed dyslexia, autism and abuse. I was mentally broken by the school system and haven't really recovered. Getting a bad start does snowball throughout life, I'm fragile as I've been broken by society and life. I've spent the last six years rebuilding my sense of self but I have so far to go repairing 40 years of damage I think it will take the rest of my life to heal. I've never been on a date let alone a relationship.

[@Photik]

Glad you're making progress and that you acknowledge it. That's worth taking note of. Keep going, brother.

[@croissants1280]

Go to a therapist and stop wallowing in self pity and playing the victim.

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

@@croissants1280 Where did I say I haven't been to therapy? Sorry about the self pity, I found out yesterday my job is ending in 10 months, and that's a big deal when I also have a chronic illness so I can't physically work full time.

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

@@Photik Thank you, it's been a rough road, everyone I talk to says I'm going all the right things, it just takes time, a lot of time. Most professionals I've seen have been surprised I'm still alive.

[@m-bronte]

@@croissants1280 wow! you are really a softy

[@mikearias2283]

I agree with many of the points made in this video, however I feel that all the weight of a relationship is on men. I am 34 years old and have been in several relationships and not one did I feel was 50/50. From making a move to get a number, then talking her up to get a date, then having to impress her enough to get a second date and repeating the process over and over again once you're in a relationship its all so tiresome and one sided. I feel everything is expected of men in dating by society and very little is expected of women. I've been single for about 5 years now and in that time period I have lost almost all interest in dating only asking out two women out in that whole time. I can't speak for all men but I definitely feel it's not worth it both in the financial cost and in the time lost.

[@Thatsointeresting]

This is a byproduct from dating in the past. It’s hard to believe this now, but in the 80s and 90s women were regularly sexually pursued and literally didn’t have to do anything but look cute and smile. I was a cute girl, not hot enough to be intimidating but definitely attractive and I was regularly hit on in public. Looking back on it, the men who approached me back then would be considered sexual harassers today.

[@mikearias2283]

@@Thatsointeresting Yeah I figured its a product of the past but that's the issue I have. The expectations on women have dropped but have remained for men. I have dated some very attractive women in the past and I feel the more attractive they were the more entitled they acted and the less they would contribute/comprises to and for the relationship. I Know not all women are like that.

[@timothy209]

My inner child is inconsolable. How will I ever relax and lower my walls when I've been shown time and time again trust only leads to betrayal. I'm a living contradiction. I crave affection and intimacy but live in fear of it. Feeling like it's better to be alone and treat my own ill heart then include someone in my melancholy

[@j.davila4523]

I might be in the same boat ngl

[@joshb7326]

Feel the same way

[@Photik]

Find a men's group. MAN UNCIVILIZED is starting next week.

[@m-bronte]

so you prefer psychologically infantile because you "don't want to take a chance"

[@robw7676]

This is a description of anxious-avoidant attachment, which can be healed.

[@Concatenate]

Just bananas to think a majority of women would turn down the 8/10 guy.

[@scottverge938]

As he said. They are delusional .

[@bodhisattva2348]

Are they bringing anything for the women to want them

[@Sebaa1337]

@@bodhisattva2348 if you're an 8/10 then you're better off with these women not wanting you :)

[@jane2594]

From the time women are born we are given messages from everyone and everywhere that we need to be perfect in every way (looks, behaviour, etc) to be lovable and acceptable. So it’s not surprising women then project that need for perfection onto men.

[@_xBrokenxDreamsx_]

yeah, women won't accept anything less than a 9 means they're the problem.

[@zacharybils9182]

A lot of women suffer from shiny object syndrome due to dating apps and social media. It takes a very mature and self aware woman to understand that the perfect man does not exist and that an average man who is good to his friends and family is enough. If he has money and status that’s great for her, but a mature woman understands that should not be what’s required.

[@dannycolwell8028]

I was just dumped and status differences were a big part of the conversation 😂

[@marguskiis7711]

The idea of a perfect man is absolute common among avoidant women. So, we can say, majority of women are avoidants.

[@hspinnovators5516]

Statistically more men chase cheap dopamine than women. A tiny percentage of women are Avoidant attachment dopamine seeking. It's actually as high As 30 percent of men

[@hspinnovators5516]

​@@marguskiis7711it's like 2 percent of women lol. It's mostly men 30 percent who are Avoidant

[@marguskiis7711]

​​@@hspinnovators5516 the majority of 45 plus women act like avoidants, especially when they hit menopause and start mass wave divorces.

[@PepitoSbezzeguti]

15:49 "just ignore the actual problems and you'll be fine" you're pushing innocent men into a meat grinder without helping them at all. You are part of the problem, do better.

[@benjaminwlang]

Yeah, he is full of shit.

[@vdl3984]

You can't stay motivated and take risks and be the best version of yourself just for nothing. Women need to relax their expectations in an extremely drastical way. Then you'll see men actually feeling encouraged to do all the things you mention. You can ask for something challenging but not for something impossible. As things are now you can improve all you can and still not meet the basic requirements of a regular woman. Complete insanity.

[@SamRossman]

No one gonna mention late stage capitalism as a possible source of disenfranchisement? No? Cool, love where this society is going….. seriously though, I find Connor’s content amazing, but, not at least acknowledging the elephant in the room, that we work harder than ever for a lower quality of life than our parents? Meanwhile our AI is creating art and writing scripts? seems tone def 🤷‍♂️

[@brianmeen2158]

Lower quality of life than our parents? By most metrics our quality of life is much better overall than our parents and their parents generation .. We all see the problems with late stage capitalism - what do you expect Connor to tell you though to fix it? Yeah, AI could be another big problem but I highly doubt Connor has an answer to that either. This video was a great start to pointing out the bigger flaws in women and women

[@SamRossman]

@@brianmeen2158 dope, musta missed all those gen Zers buying house two years out of high school with no college degree

[@Mobius_ll]

I believe he was trying to keep it between the dynamics of men and women, but I was thinking the same thing through most of the video waiting for it.

[@sullathehutt7720]

​@@brianmeen2158 Then why is everybody strung out on anti-depressants today? Why is the sue a side rate going up, why is homelessness going up? 🙄

[@jalama334]

Bullshit more whine with your cheese?🫕

[@JaePharos]

I completely agree and thank you for this video. For me personally, I feel my experiences with dating and relationships often lead me to asking myself “what did I do wrong” or “where did I mess up” 10 times out of 10. I’ve put in an embarrassing amount of effort in just trying to meet and get to know someone and never feel the efforts are reciprocated. And the worst part for me is that those questions I present to myself never get answered so I’ve gotta continue working on myself with no real direction.

[@db50000]

Spends 15 minutes saying women are the problem, spends the next 15 minutes telling men women are not the problem 🤦🏼

[@Aspire705]

That's how the blue/purple pill "life coaches", trad-cons, and even the men in churches are. There's something deep down in them (blue pill programming I suspect) that absolutely refuses to hold women accountable for being THE MAJORITY of the problem in relationships without also attempting to "balance the blame" by bringing up the minority of the problems that men cause. It's like whenever they begin to say anything remotely accurate about how women are to blame for too long, something in them has a visceral reaction and absolutely refuses to go any further so as not to make them feel bad. smh These weak men are why I don't respect the vast majority of men I see in relationships today because they're ALL cow towing to women in one sad sappy way of another. It's so rampant that most men don't even realize they're doing it. Just think about this if you don't agree with me. Out of ALL of the men you know who got married, how many of them proposed on bended knee? See what I mean? The VAST men are starting out relationships and/or marriages putting themselves and their own needs BELOW those of a woman and ALMOST NONE of them even seem to realize it.

[@brianmeen2158]

Watch it again, he blames both men and women .. women having unrealistic standards is not why guys are so passive and fragile these days. Now, these problems and running into each other and compounding and creating additional problems and that’s where we are now. Women are definitely expecting too much but too many guys are just not even willing to try to talk to women or date . They go to hysterical lengths like blaming the family courts as to why they don’t want to try or worried about being called a name. I mean, guys in my generation are completely mystified by younger men that seem terrified of being called a creep - we knew back then that women might call us a name if her mood wasn’t right(when we approached) but we accepted that it was part of the deal and moved forward anyway. These guys just seem to be so passive and like Mantalks said, fragile . I mean, if a guy is that scared of a random girl calling him a name then how does he expect to be in a relationship and stand up to(and for) this same woman when he needs to…?

[@CharlieBravo887]

@@brianmeen2158 Are you kidding? A chick calling you a creep to you and her friends in 1985 is a hell of a lot differnt than a chick attacking your reputation online or falsley accusing you in the modern, "wimmin can do no wrong" era. Literally NO ONE is scared of being called a name. You're "argument" is a strawman. Men are tired of wasting their time and effort to take unappreciative, arrogant, self-righteous, disrespectful, undiscipline "wimmin" on dates. Men are aware of the consequences of living in a world where wimmin are worshipped like gods. No one wants a used up slvt. That's what's available. You're out of touch. Deal with it.

[@EtoCobra]

​@@brianmeen2158 Women in your generation weren't throwing false accusations around like used tissues.

[@mantarayc718]

Women in your generation also didn’t blatantly get people in jail for “fun gossip for the girl” they are actively seeking pain for entertainment and it’s sickening to see

[@runningcommentary2125]

I'm not taking risks. No risk I have ever taken has ever paid off.

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

That I think is the unacknowledged elephant here.

[@brianmeen2158]

That is a surefire way to be miserable. I can’t imagine not taking any risks in life . Are you going to live in a bubble? Reading these comments, I’m not surprised why so many people are lonely and unhappy

[@Tubastank1]

Detach from the outcome my friend. Don’t take risks for the outcome, take them for the experience

[@mantarayc718]

@@brianmeen2158seeing as this is your 3 rd reply you don’t have much else going on huh?

[@Billy-bc8pk]

@@brianmeen2158 The opposite is true. Much like the above poster, any risks I've taken is what led to irrecoverable misery in life, and I regret those risks every single day of my life. There are going to be a small number of people who take calculated risks that pay off, but for majority of us, it will leave us penniless and heartbroken.

[@jhouser972]

Our grandmothers were content with marrying, loving, and cherishing the average man. Today, the average woman believes she deserves more than the average man. This is a root issue by a high margin regardless of what men do.

[@stephengrant4841]

Exactly. 75% of us struggling guys would have girlfriends and wives if we were around 60 years ago. What changed? Women don’t have to monetarily depend on a man, and they have access to so many more men around not just their town or city or state but country.

[@SweetCandy-x4j]

The average man today isn’t a protector or provider like our grandfather was.

[@SweetCandy-x4j]

@@stephengrant4841what changed? We have to work full-time and have to go 50/50 now.

[@sbentsen2714]

This is an excellent discussion. I will say at this point im probably one of those disenfranchised men. I see women largely as a very unsafe investment, because on a dime their emotions can change. They can decide "i dont wanna be with you anymore", with massive implications. Even Tom Brady's wife left him 😵

[@hspinnovators5516]

Emotions are highly valuable to the right man. It's a feedback mechanism for his greatness. It allows growth. Most men are afraid of themselves

[@millasia1]

The men most women make up in their mind wouldn't want them in real life.💯

[@CamStubbs]

This isn’t just the dating scene. The affects of social programming on all women is making long standing relationships increasingly difficult. 18 years with my highschool sweetheart and I never could figure out where the hate came from till I hurt my back.

[@Thatsointeresting]

Were you married to this woman for 18 years, or just living together, dating?

[@roberttruman8444]

Was she resenting you or the relationship because she felt she was missing out on added life experience??

[@CamStubbs]

@@Thatsointeresting long time engaged, living together, 2020 kinda put a monkey wrench into marriage planning then things really fell apart after my back injury and I hung on till it started getting increasingly toxic.

[@CamStubbs]

@@roberttruman8444 possibly but she never was able to vocalize what truly bothers her. I could guess it was always that her family looked down upon me and said things to her in private. Some inferences I did pick up on but one can never really draw correlation. After I hurt my back it was obviously about me being less than I was. Physically from the injury and mentally from the years of psychological warfare I thought was a relationship.

[@roberttruman8444]

@@CamStubbs I'm sorry to hear that. Even when your intuition is pretty receptive, without certain evidence or testimony from those in question it's so hard to know their feelings. If you have an anxious disposition then I'd urge you not to attempt to anticipate her or her family's opinions of you, and definitely not to base your own worth on what you think they might think of you. And if you succeed in doing that tell me how haha. Hope things work out either way. For what it's worth I don't think your injury and 2020 were nails in the coffin. If anything they provided necessary testing that may well have saved you from making so regrettable life decisions.

[@Ynffy]

"Men need to level up... And give ME their resources". Let's meet halfway and say that we won't?

[@db50000]

I used to run a Subway restaurant and lost it to corporate due to not being able to pay the fees. How am I not disenfranchised?!

[@lovely-shrubbery8578]

😂

[@Rainer125]

The bigger picture in all this and the real tragedy outside of the bottom 85% of men feeling unloved, unwanted and overall horrible is that we are gonna die out as a species not because of nuclear war or a huge catastrophy but because social media and online dating gave women a false sense of selectionbias nature could have never predicted happening. It's literally a glitch in the system that should have never happend. Just 30 years ago an average woman would have maybe been hit on by 10 average guys a year and one would succeed often leading to a relationship, children or marriage. Now a 3/10 gets simped on by 250 dudes a day with Ferraris, 6'4ft, or male model faces. We will never recover from that and this issue will spread over the entire planet soon.

[@dkeith520]

Since my late teens I’ve been on the dating scene off and on and I can honestly say that it has taught me more about my weaknesses and my strengths. I’ve recently found a woman that is a lot more mature than the ones I’ve been dating and I think I might keep her. Everything said in this video is spot on

[@zuhairreza]

I think I like this guy. He speaks in a "normal", non-extreme way you can yourself understand and talk in to anyone in real life, in front of you - man or woman, parents, cousins, neighbors. If you want to understand the problems in relationships and dating in today's world, this guy breaks it down nicely in a way presentable to anyone.

[@contracthit9839]

He panders to women

[@jcronin3155]

​@@contracthit9839How did he pander to women there?

[@contracthit9839]

He never does an objective appraisal of the quality of women and only men... American women are the twelfth most overweight women in the world they don't have a high enough sexual market value to reject men on a massive scale..

[@lavado1phinn]

i agree, i’ve actually learned a bit about men since he isn’t so extremist which is nice, my bf and i have been watching his vids to help with our relationship and i think it’s working :))

[@jet67jd37]

That’s if you like the corporate snake oil salesman approach where he deliberately tap dances around the truth……. This guy knows what the real issues are, he just won’t say it

[@littlebilly8747]

I have struggled with insecurity in the past, and that made me afraid of women. Over the last few years, I’ve cultivated a much higher opinion of myself as a person, and this has helped me a lot in talking to women. Another mindset I have is treat them in a similar way to how you interact with your male friends, as they seem to appreciate not being simped over (at least quality women will)

[@BodyLove.Bootcamp]

Yessss exactly THIS!!! Like we really do want and appreciate something this simple. All it takes is a bit of self awareness and intentional growth. But so many guys just want to say it's our preferences so they don't have to take any accountability SMH. If you're around those type of women you can change your environment, just like I go to the environments with the type of ppl I enjoy being around, and make great connections with them because we are like-minded❤

[@GearForTheYear]

Ok enjoy the chase, your 5-year marriage, and your subsequent divorce where she takes half of your stuff. You were warned.

[@littlebilly8747]

@@GearForTheYear I don’t chase women, it is stupid

[@brokenpixels263]

I am extremely fragile. At this point just working a fulltime job (along with all my problems) is killing me. No one taught me how to be strong. No one encouraged me much. No one taught me what I needed to know or gave me the help I needed. And I can't think of a single person that can give me the help I need, is willing to do it, and will do it without me paying them. The world is a cold, lonely place.

[@davidthompson184]

Get used to it. It’s not going to change and it’s not going to get better.

[@JasonGrice001]

I think the key to things like this is not kick your own ass when something doesn't go your way. Easier said than done but a good first step is to treat yourself like you would a really good friend. Take risks that don't have a huge consequence and build from there. Best of luck you and take care of yourself

[@musicplug1730]

@@davidthompson184facts.

[@joegrazulis2810]

Thwre are four factors that I think are causing the problems is dating: 1) The rediction of testosterone in men 2) The huge rise in single mother families (aka only women rasing the kids) 3) The overemphasis on women being girl bosses and not settling for anything but the best 4) Divorce and sexual harassment laws

[@Elemenohpea440]

People are being radicalized by Internet forums, twitter, facebook etc. It’s unnatural to socialize with people based on similar grievances.

[@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life]

Yup.

[@m-bronte]

true

[@brianmeen2158]

Yep and it’s easy to tell which people are terminally online by the talking points they use. The face to face conversations I have are so much different than the convos I see online So many people would be better off if they reduced their time online

[@edhovrud]

@@brianmeen2158Yet, here we are.

[@sullathehutt7720]

Democracy promotes political radicalization.

[@U4ia28]

Everyone needs to wake up and internalize the fact that NOBODY deserves or is entitled to ANYTHING. You want someone that meets your standards/specifications? Be the type of person who meets THEIR standards and specifications. Also understand that depending on the cards you were dealt, (ur short fat, visually unfortunate etc) you will NEVER qualify for the ideal person you’re chasing and will need to HUMBLE YOURSELF and pick within YOUR LEVEL. Which is whoever is approaching you with genuine desire, interest and intentions. This applies to both men AND women.

[@mickbenson9161]

For me it's the promiscuity and the entitlement that ruins it. They're just not desirable as long-term partners.

[@thekindredstoil]

R u a desirable long-term partner? and y do u believe that u r?

[@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life]

​@MonessaLeigh exactly. It's because they want women available to be their plaything knowing full well they have no desire to commit to her yet when there's a woman they are truly interested in tells them they were someone else's plaything then once again...respect dropped. How about men keep their own body count in check before worrying about a woman's.

[@m-bronte]

Pick a better quality woman, yeah she might not be Model, but she will read books, care about your feelings and have her own interests.

[@yzma6142]

Using a google stock picture of a man who gets women is sad

[@ElonMustt]

@MonessaLeigh Is that the same man calling you entitled and promiscuous?

[@Mo-rn1mh]

Wow man you just blew my freaking mind. I've recently learned that through letting go of shame, guilt and a victim mentality you can actually start to do the work. I'm 26, and I've never been in a committed relationship. And, learning that you have to address what the underlying issues that are stopping you from connection instead of the symptoms has drastically changed my view and approach in life. When you treat your subconscious badly, it reflects in every interaction you have, not only with a potential partner. Honestly, I feel like it's a long road ahead, but just the mindset shift has helped me tremendously. I'm looking forward to more of your uploads !

[@lexiebabasek]

Problem is people are super dumbed down. Like ultra hard, everywhere. Finding a person who is at least a bit smart and interesting to talk to, has become nearly impossible. That's the main problem.

[@Echelon111999]

word.

[@benjaminwlang]

Anti-intellectualism is running rampant.

[@p382742937423y4]

I have become a lot less interesting myself. I used to be inspired by art and philosophy. Now I just work in education and I have no idea how to fix it.

[@Billy-bc8pk]

@@p382742937423y4 Same here. Not much reason to keep "growing" when there isn't really a point.

[@lexiebabasek]

@@p382742937423y4 What do you find the biggest problem in education where you work? I had a 12 year teacher career, and it's one of the most interesting jobs EVER.

[@joshliam1967]

Appreciate this no-holds barred look at modern dating

[@MichaelWard-lr7my]

After being completely destroyed in divorce the problem is the law. Its an easy fix. The law needs to return to what it was. What i contribute i get after a divorce, what you contribute you receive after divorce. You can't get a fairer system then that?

[@splouffy]

Stay single kings. Marriage is a trap.

[@IAmTheEggMan111]

We can get women. They are just not worth it

[@Mistah_Boombastic_BiggieCheese]

Men should never settle for less. I take care of myself and I am very active and I want a young attractive woman because I am young and fit. But I can’t find one because of my height at 5’7 which is very shallow of the opposite sex. I dont want to be with someone I don’t like. Men’s standards should be a lot higher, and I think that will fix this issue. Men shouldn’t be with the first girl that gives them attention. Men should be the only ones with high standards, and when men have standards higher than women’s, that fixes the issue.

[@bandita2068]

Depends on what you expect. In the age of Internet and mobile phones you cannot really get woman, you can rent them short or long term. Their hypergamy and selfishness does not allow them to bond for long anymore. They are not evolved to be able to handle all of them wanting the 1 in a million guy, they are evolved to want the tribe chief/ top hunter. Just like men are note evolved to handle the disconnect of seeing instant no effort perfect pron star bodies vs reality of their options.

[@fansofst.maximustheconfess8226]

@@Mistah_Boombastic_BiggieCheese E-X-A-C-T--LY. 👍🏻

[@bonzai9802]

Most of the men hanging out in these communities are not getting women LMAO

[@musicplug1730]

@@bonzai9802but they have the ability to if they put in the effort and work. But would you really want to a lot of effort and work just to deal with ungrateful women. The answer is no

[@healthjulie]

This is brilliant and one of the best things I have ever heard in my life - thank you for calling us both out in a way that is SO needed 🙏

[@contracthit9839]

You need as much education as he does.....

[@dougthomson7099]

Most commenters don’t seem to appreciate the tips! Ha. Both genders need work….

[@healthjulie]

@@dougthomson7099 LOL - Doug, soooo true! Thank you!

[@Avareee.]

@@dougthomson7099 Because blaming the other gender/people is easier than working on yourself.

[@stevearnold8265]

They’re lying about wanting the 6’5” gigachad. Of course they want him. The reality is, they don’t want relationships anymore but don’t want to admit it as it will make them look bad. The reality is, they want to sleep around and have multiple partners on the side. No matter what they say, that’s reality.

[@kubasniak]

I have no desire to be in a relationship. I feel free taking care only of myself, and it's comfortable. Relationships are work. I do enough hours that I need to unwind after, and there is simply no room for anybody other than self care

[@Godisfirst21]

There's someone that you would love to come home to. ❤

[@jovan1220]

We all need to be accountable for this and it’s actually very much what I’ve heard from a lot of my female and malecounterparts

[@MLevyTech]

You’re pretty much correct on all fronts. Well done. Keep sharing solid information like this. We need it now more than ever.

[@RobertMcColman]

I have watched many of these "male/relationship crisis" videos. I do applaud your attempt at fairness here. It is a complex topic. As a gay man, I am more of an observer because I have never had a female partner. However, in an attempt to be fair to both sides, every video ignores two key advantages that women enjoy: 1) family law and, ironically, 2) the men in their circle. Much of the success modern women have enjoyed over the last 30 years still relies on the men in the women's lives. Women are quick to remind everyone that female salaries still lag behind men on average. With prices for everything, including education and childcare, moving higher lately, how are women succeeding and men falling behind? The short answers are father, brother, grandfather, boyfriend, baby-daddy, husband, ex-husband, etc. Most women, of any age, have a male support system either familial, voluntary or court-imposed. They are rarely going it alone. Beyond a certain age, the same cannot be said of men. I, personally, play and have played that role for many women in my life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having people in ones life who care and are willing to help. Just do not leave them out of the conversation when discussing "toxic masculinity". I just wish someone would explore the real life behind the statistics. The playing field is not even.

[@RitaP41]

😂 This coming from a guy who likely latches onto women and feeds off their energy without the possibility of being their provider and protector And was BORN and RAISED by....a WOMAN!!! The Hypocricy of your faulty logic blows my mind! 🤯

[@charlesb3348]

The risk to reward isn't good.

[@rickstevenson9585]

Women’s standards and expectations today are like every guy expecting to make it to the NFL 😂

[@johnfoster4244]

Thank you

[@sammo5786]

Nah Delusional and Disenfranchised is a pretty good way to sum it up. As a single 30yr old man who's 6ft 4, in decent shape (exercise daily) have a good job (just over 6 fixures AUD), renting by myself with my dog and I've completely chdcked out of looking for another LTR. I've had 5 LTRs and plenty more casual flings, all of them have made my life more difficult, some have hurt but i have never had a girl come into my life that creates more positive than negative value. Most just take take take and don't give anything but head.

[@rickboucher5419]

I don't think "disenfranchised" is the word you're looking for. Disenfranchised means having power taken away from someone. Do you mean discouraged or disenchanted?

[@waldohall-r2k]

I say i am disillusioned with women and the world there is no hope that something better exists

[@jonathanrocha2275]

Disenchanted is the right word

[@ElenasBarre]

Amazing video, Connor! More women need to hear this!!! 🔥💯🙏

[@enthusiasmboy]

“Men treat women the way that they treat their own unconscious” 🤯 This comment alongside reconciling our own femininity hit different 18:09

[@GearForTheYear]

It’s also bro science

[@hspinnovators5516]

It's programmed self hatred

[@TheBrainiac777]

Hey Connor, I don't normally comment on the internet but thank you for expressing what I've felt, thought, and experienced about relationships. As a 27 year old man that's never been in a relationship, the modern dating world is tough and it's heartbreaking to see my friends and I, men and women, struggle to find and maintain love. The rise of social media has lead to a hypercompetitive dating market, but the flip side is that finding information to improve yourself has never been easier, as evidenced by this video. Even though the comments here further reinforce what you've mentioned in the video, you should know that you've helped at least one person. I will continue to have hope and optimism, thank you.

[@larsegholmfischmann6594]

6/6 was 10/10 ... i think you are spot on. As a man I can recognize all 3 points about us in my own life to greater and lesser extent. E.g. I spent way too many years in a relationship with a woman that confirmed all my detrimental views on myself, leading to misery and poor mental health. And it's so easy to just point fingers at women and thus rejecting our own responsibility. E.g. women can sleep with any man they want, while we blatantly ignore that the vast majority don't want to. We project our own sense of who we are as men onto women without realizing that they are NOT men. Male fragility is understandable when you put it into context that is the cesspool that is information on the internet. There are both men and women that make up fake metoo stories that reinforces this. Terrible stories gain more likes, followers, and engagement, so we get exposed to them disproportionately more even though they only make up

[@jenniferbeste7465]

@@larsegholmfischmann6594 I wish more guys would approach me. The only way I'd feel like a guy was being a creep would be if he said something inappropriate. I literally sat in a pub with a girlfriend of mine watching a guy go from table to table at last call trying to hit on every woman in the place. I want to feel like I was chosen, not like you're moving down the line to get whatever you can. I think all of the normal people are hiding indoors because they are too afraid to go out into the wild to contend with mediocrity.

[@larsegholmfischmann6594]

@@jenniferbeste7465 I think it's also because a lot of people are pacified by online media and SoMe. Like, if adult entertainment can give a semblance of being satisfied, then the incentive to go out to be with real people diminishes greatly. It's really sad.

[@jenniferbeste7465]

@@larsegholmfischmann6594 adult entertainment is a quick fix for sure, but it gets old after a while when you just want human connection.

[@brianmeen2158]

Agree. Rare but extreme cases get shared endlessly online and both sexes blow it up to the extent that the average person feels it is an epidemic.. we need to dial the hysteria down online but it’s very hard as people love toxic gossip and just run with it.

[@brianmeen2158]

@@larsegholmfischmann6594 what I find to be true is I honestly have much more interesting conversations with people online than I do in my face to face convos. I’m more introverted and despise small talk and drama/gossip bs so talking online is much more rewarding and without the drag time. This is a problem I think many people have and one to which seems very difficult to solve .

[@shawnnyp5686]

When I met my soon to be wife, she said to me, "I was raised to make my own money and support myself." she never asks me for anything and makes double what I make. She loves me for me and not what I have in my bank account. There are good, strong, realistic women out there. Dont give up! I think we all forget that these are times of equal rights. Relationships are 50/50.

[@tophat2115]

what? Life isn't a Hallmark movie?! That's it, I'm leaving the planet! Scotty beam me up

[@ronniejaye1]

Men get disenfranchised with women because we're never good enough or make enough money or have a nice vehicle. Everything they say and display is that we aren't enough in so many ways. I'm extremely comfortable in my skin but I don't feel the need to pursue relationships where I'm constantly put down. I just don't need a woman badly enough and I love myself enough to where being judged or degraded is acceptable to me. If I love myself and who I am , why would I ever pursue those situations. I'm not afraid to approach them , I've got experience in recognizing the signs and traits that I wish to avoid. Nobody is worth that kind of degradation to me. Fragile? Hell no! Afraid? Certainly not. I've actively pursued women I didn't think we're like that but as it's turned out, in the end , they were like that .

[@silverliningsmiles]

Loved this (all of it) both sides lend a great perspective =) and I resonated with it 100%. Thank you for sharing!!

[@Billy-bc8pk]

Except the second half is BS, because even if a guy is "not afraid" and has his act together, it doesn't prevent him from losing everything in a divorce, or having his wife leave him for one of the top 10% of Chads that come her way, making all of the advice in the second half moot.

[@valterek]

Thank you! Please keep speaking truth! This made me so calm that someone else have thought what I have tried to formulate. Great job!

[@Botch_TV]

I agree with a lot of what she said pretty much everything. It’s creating this men versus women dynamic and it’s tiresome and it doesn’t do anything. It’s both genders blaming the other gender for the fact that they can’t find a partner. Those arguments that you brought up like with the legal system, the whole women painting this idea of the perfect man in their head when it doesn’t exist, all of your points are valid. I think it’s important to acknowledge all of that instead of playing the blame game because a lot of men will take what you just said and a lot of women will take what you just said and deny it. It’s projection. Your personal experience does not make everything universal. I think the solution to this is simply knowing yourself and bettering yourself, whether you are a man or a woman. Getting those toxic ideologies out of your head and back to reality. That’s the issue. It’s unresolved internal turmoil for both genders. Women hate men because of their experiences, or whatever they see online. Men do the same thing instead of bettering themselves, recognizing toxic patterns building themselves to be better, so that you don’t run into the same people but until people realize the issue starts with them, this vicious cycle of everything that you just said will always continue.

[@Photik]

Break it up into a digestible and readable format.

[@CorinthianIvory]

Will the problem resolve if half of all people decide to improve themselves and work on themselves while the other half continues to blame, disparage, & reject all semblance of personal responsibility? Perhaps our society is ill at large & no longer capable of producing healthy, functional adults capable of assessing another adult for worthwhile traits. I kind of want it all to collapse at this point to get rid of the dead weight

[@fabianofaccini4928]

Thank you for the holistic analysis of relationships. It too easy to see people blaiming each other about the relationship problems.

[@GB-en7ue]

Women with lots of bodies imagine a Frankenstein man made up of the best parts of all the prior bodies, esp if they are Chadrones.

[@Doberman_6773]

Frankenchad

[@theleithalweapon]

Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your perspective on these topics - I've been recovering from a significant injury over the past year and I discovered your channel as part of a youtube deep dive into identity and trying to be a better person now that I'm on the mend (and hoping to get back to my usual social and physical routines). I don't necessarily agree with everything you say, but your insight has been refreshing in this space and I'm thankful that there are still positive masculine voices like you rather than most of the angry all the time talking heads that seem to get so much attention. So again, thank you for your perspective. I know it has helped me with my own navigation of trying to be a better person, and specifically a better man.

[@coletteHawk]

Well done!! Very insightful indeed, a straightforward talk with no BS attached to it, and very refreshing to see. As a recently-single woman in my mid 50s, I have noticed that the rise of social media platforms has coincided with an increasing lack of common sense and critical thinking in people everywhere, both men and women. I’m not surprised by modern-day challenges and disillusionment in the dating scene. We have become way too unrealistic in our wants and expectations. Instead of focusing on the superficial, learn to recognize and appreciate substance. For women this means understanding that life isn’t a Harlequin Romance and for men it means understanding that women aren’t your personal porn stars. Each blaming the other. Both sides need to step away from their respective computer screens and spend more time in real life. This isn’t the Matrix.

[@marguskiis7711]

Women expect all men should be the successful enterpreneurs and without flaws. Really, they do, not only very young ones. Men do not expect much. They are so damaged already.

[@gonnacry4513]

No, you're only partly correct. There are huge number of men who understand that women aren't their personal porn stars. But if you check around, there are not even 10% of such women who don't fall into the shiny trap syndrome.

[@splouffy]

Well, women pick and choose who they want to be porn stars for. They all can, and when they feel, offer it.

[@dbpool]

the facts? the reality is that majority of men, ordinary joes, will date a woman who is a 3-4 or better, in 3 or more categories - ie looks, income, character... women however are looking for men who are an 8+ in looks and income, and couldn't give a damn whether he has any character... ps - the men who are 40+ and dating 20 year olds are the guys in the 8+ category - and they do it because they don't take women seriously and the women are throwing themselves at him, and he doesn't need to or have to choose, he has lots of options...

[@marguskiis7711]

@@dbpool Hahaha, go to Dubai and you see how hundreds of millionaires are paying thousands to get laid once a month at best. So much about options.

[@poeticeclipse]

As a woman, one thing to note on the level that some women care about "money" is not about "what monetary value does this person have?", but rather, "How secure are they and can they provide for a family alongside me?" I don't want to start a family with someone who can't keep a job. I don't want to even start dating someone who makes minimum wage, spends money frivolously, and still thinks he can have a family living like that. It's not realistic. It's about security and confidence in a future... not "how many purses will this guy buy for me?"

[@Thatsointeresting]

How well a man does at work reflects on his character. Men who can’t strategize and maintain relationships at work, will often be impulsive in other ways. A man who can maintain consistent employment will often be even tempered, diligent and somewhat flexible. That being said, highly successful men, the ones who earn at the highest levels, will likely be too good at strategizing, and are likely very adept at playing games to get what they want.

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

Well a lot of women mean it the bad way, and that’s the message men have taken away.

[@roberttruman8444]

It's a two way street though. What if a man rejected you because he felt your income fell short somewhat, and he assumed it had no guarantees in the medium/long term because you would likely take maternity leave to start a family and then possibly come back to work part-time or not at all? Would you take issue or accept it? With the cost of living being what it is, if doctors and midwives insisted on doing the same affordability checks for couples hoping to start a family, as adoption centres do when couples want to adopt, then hardly anyone would be having children at all these days.

[@poeticeclipse]

@@roberttruman8444 maternity leave isn’t the same thing as not holding down a job or not being aspirational. The time it takes to birth and raise a child is a full time job in itself, it just bares no income, and it isn’t just for the woman’s benefit. A person who has no aspirations, ambitions, and no ability to financially CARE for a family is so different. I’ve had a partner say if I didn’t have a degree he approved of he wouldn’t get engaged to me, so I mean, it sure does happen the other way around.

[@brianmeen2158]

@@poeticeclipse this just seems to a mismatch problem - I see many guys and girls(successful higher value types) that seem to be initially choosing mates on the wrong criteria. I mean, if you are meeting guys that can’t keep a job and aren’t emotionally stable - what is prompting you to date them In the first place? Their looks or something else? I see men doing the same thing - they are initially attracted to certain traits but these things don’t make for good long term relationships

[@infinitedurr]

This was 🔥! The entire thing, so true and so spot on.

[@10raystube]

2Timothy chapter 3 . It is over. Our culture is spiritually dead and intellectually bankrupt. Without the spirit the body will follow. As Aaron Clarey book states: “Enjoy The Decline.”

[@sonderexpeditions]

If something is so beneficial to someone they shouldn't need to be pressured into doing it. That thing will speak for itself. Good things don't need to be sold to someone.

[@EarthboundinAdrock]

Thanks for the informative video. I will continue to work on myself.

[@williamberven-ph5ig]

Neither party entering a relationship " deserves" anything except respect. Beyond that, the relationship is a clean slate and becomes only what the two build together.

[@tophat2115]

Where does the fear of rejection come from? It's evolutionary. When we were in hunter-gather tribes that had 30-40 people in them. There might might only be 2 or 3 unpaired women of appropriate age as potential a life mates. If one was a sister, she was off the list, if the parents or the woman said nope. Then you had to go find one in another tribe. A fertile female represents the future of the tribe, as such they would be lethally guarded from outsiders coming to take them away, therefore to get a woman from another tribe, you had to risk death. That went on for hundreds of thousands of years (home sapiens is about 600 000 years old.) So that fear is ingrained as a survival mechanism, fight or flight on full blast when you approach. If I fail, I'm dead. It takes some real work to get past that evolutionary caution to realize, no, I won't die, I might be infamous on social media if she whips out her phone and puts you on Blast, but her tribe won't descend on you with clubs and spears to wipe you out on the spot.

[@IlPinnacolo]

Interesting analysis. This would explain why people (myself included) feel much more at ease approaching women who are phenotypically similar to them. I'm immediately drawn to, (and more comfortable with) women that look like their ancestors came from the same part of the world as mine.

[@mikelpradet6670]

Intersting!

[@bandita2068]

in modern world it is more about scarce resources more and more competition for them > time is money, the more you waste the faster you die

[@carolsherman9817]

Expectations are always a way to be disappointed. I think you are pretty right on with your advice.

[@Sataneal42069]

Honestly, dating has never been easier since I left the country. I've been to places like the Phillipines and Argentina. Maybe it's because they still have community and families in these countries. These women are so much better and appreciate you being a man. I rather wait, retire and marry someone from the Phillipines or Argentina. I don't get that defensive feeling like in America(a woman in America tried to ruin my life using the police and false allegations that's all I'll say). I hate to be that guy and jump on trends but I honestly believe the best opportunity for men is to get their passport and look for communities with traditional and family backgrounds. I only advocate this for the men that want marriage and family. I don't wanna turn other countries dating pools into the one that america has.

[@Mistah_Boombastic_BiggieCheese]

The passport bros are only loved for their money and a green card. If these women really loved the passport bros, they wouldn’t leave them when they come back to the US.

[@devilmaycry9969]

@MonessaLeigh Funny because these American men claim to want traditional women but aren't traditional themselves. I've seen many come to the DR impregnate these women that are desperate to help their families in poverty yet ghost them completely after they are done with them. Same in the Philippines.

[@ofacid3439]

​@MonessaLeighThose are 0,001%. Nothing to worry about. If Filippines and Argentina were richer, that'd be even less

[@Sataneal42069]

@MonessaLeigh "when in Rome do what the Romans do." You would be surprised how welcome you'll be as long as you follow the rules and cultures of the society you visit. One of the main reasons I wanna leave America is because I feel like I belong to an actual community compared to America, where I'm a cog in a destructive machine.

[@Canadakonnect]

Don't you feel bad that you are diluting the dating ecosystem in those countries?

[@PharaohMoan]

I can agree with just about all of this. A few of those key points actually hit really close to home. Especially, after the last relationship, friends’ failed relationships, marriages I’ve witnessed and experienced vicariously, etc. But I think this all falls under the pretense of the DESIRE to be in a relationship. Some (people) want to but can’t, and some choose not to be. Not everyone wants to have kids, and I don’t think everyone HAS to be in a relationship to be happy or find fulfillment.

[@westtoeast98-dh9ig]

Great vid as always. Candid and clear. The need to do deep self work to improve every area of one's life is the clearest in the quality of one's relationships.

[@stormchaser419]

Women aren't going to change anytime soon. Seriously. Besides that they still come with loads of liabilities. Tom Brady got divorced. Says all you need to know.

[@kacatley9258]

Brilliant talk and I concur on ALL fronts, especially with the growing evidence that we men are increasingly pessimistic towards taking risks with meeting someone new or even elevating ones game in relationships you are already in. 👏

[@hansgullickson4080]

50% of the population just clicked off this video (guess which 50%).

[@jamelquron8750]

This was much needed! I think you are 100% accurate. I just purchased your book Men’s Work.

[@Primorkusha]

It's no coincidence that those who have read the book Social Secrets Mastery seem to have an edge in dating-this book is a game-changer.

[@TenzarkProductions]

Where can I find this book? 📕

[@Scotty_Bo0m]

Lolol if you think a book will make women attractred to you. You are a hopeless lost cause. Stop the cope man! The only ppl who benefit off that garbage are the ppl you are giving the money too! Grifting off male lonliness is easily the most profitable thing in 2024.

[@ruckerbrady8342]

Nice add lol. So obvious

[@Shibby27ify]

Although I have never had these negative experiences with women personally in my life, I am aware that the internet is making us all deranged. I'm calling it "internet derangement syndrome"

[@fishyplebe]

What if I dont blame women, I've been introspective and have "leveled up", and I'm not afraid of women? What other answer can you give me?

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

I think then the ball is in the women’s court. Not many ladies out here willing to ball on that level.

[@fishyplebe]

@MachineMan-mj4gj thank you for saying that.

[@Himmiefan]

@@MachineMan-mj4gj So you're blaming the women. This is a bad trait that society allows men to get away with.

[@Himmiefan]

Have you worked on your social skills? Ask someone. Work with a coach.

[@fishyplebe]

@@Himmiefan yup.

[@richardfeit8296]

Well expressed, and I think you are spot on with what men and women need to do if they want a relationship. I feel many men have just opted out. Is it womens fault that they are delusional? Is it men's fault that they are disenfranchised? No. No fault relationships are needed, they are called marriages, and marriage is not popular any longer it seems. Excellent points. Bravo.

[@colossusdemiurge1662]

I'm definitely disenfranchised, bruv 😅

[@Pode91]

Found a solution to this problem : going gay ;-) Was never meant to fulfill anyone's expectations anyway.