The MOST Self-Destructive Habit | Simon Sinek

Comparing ourselves to others might be natural, but it's also deadly. By taking an infinite approach, and reframing your competitors as worthy rivals, the success of your peers becomes fuel for your own growth as opposed to the source of your insecurity.
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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.
Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.
Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.
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Website: simonsinek.com/
Live Online Classes: simonsinek.com/inspireU
Podcast: apple.co/simonsinek
Instagram: / simonsinek
Linkedin: / simonsinek
Twitter: / simonsinek
Facebook: / simonsinek
Simon’s books:
The Infinite Game: simonsinek.com/product/the-in...
Start With Why: simonsinek.com/product/start-...
Find Your Why: simonsinek.com/product/find-y...
Leaders Eat Last: simonsinek.com/product/leader...
Together is Better: simonsinek.com/product/togeth...
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#SimonSinek

[@Slashco]

"The reason we feel insecure is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

[@50shekels]

I saw that video too

[@angeliquetrinh7672]

What is "reel" ? Is it "life" ? Can't find it in the dic :/

[@TheJonas973]

@@50shekels What video if you wouldn't mind sharing

[@sapphirevaltiel]

@@TheJonas973 I heard it for the first time from Dan Avidan from Ninja Sex Party and, perhaps more famously, Game Grumps. Maybe a GG compilation of inspirational phrases might have it there somewhere ;)

[@chrisedwards3640]

@@angeliquetrinh7672 A reel is like a circular shape (cylinder) that has rope or wire, for example, spun around it. The reel in the sentence above comes from when movies used to be shown by spinning film on a reel (cylindrical thing that spins) and then projected on to a screen. In this case a 'highlight reel' refers to a collection of highlights, which I assume used to be shown with this kind of tape on a reel, as most videos were, and the term has remained in the language even if we don't use them anymore.

[@AhmetKaan]

*"Pain of regret is so much worse than pain of discipline."*

[@2minuteschool929]

Wow..that makes sense..many repeat and regret ♥️

[@HaCkeMatician]

That is only for a "PERSON" with a Well-Defined Personal CORE-VALUES.

[@Wisstihrwas]

that because disciplin you chose, regret choses you 😂

[@geemail369]

Not neccessarily - Craig Ferguson had an interesting conversation once with Alice Eve regarding regret: discussing the likelyhood of regretting _DOING_ something vs. _NOT_ doing something, when it came to tattoos. Eye-opening!

[@letsgoBrandon204]

We rack disciprine!

[@ShadowNinjaDestiny]

He's so relatable. He's human. I really enjoy his talks.

[@user-qe7bt9dz1l]

Or maybe he tries to be more human so that you’ll like him more? He’s a smart man and I’m sure he knows this and uses it to his advantage because he, you know, is a speaker/author and needs your acceptance so he can make a living?

[@DavidHRyall]

I feel the opposite, he seems fake AF to me 😂 I'd like to see how he is on a Sunday morning when he has nothing on his schedule to see who he really is

[@user-qe7bt9dz1l]

@@DavidHRyall I don’t know if he’s fake but probably is so concerned with being “on” that he’s never off and just chilling. Like he’s himself but he’s so ambitious that he forgot how to just be a simple man and enjoy himself. That Sunday morning is probably him just trying to get busy again lmao. What makes you think he’s fake?!??

[@shrimptyd8059]

@@DavidHRyall you wouldn’t know what someone’s real mode of being is unless you’re them. How do u know what Simon’s mode of being is fake? Are you him? Clearly he’s comfortable in doing what he is doing.

[@juggiebonebrain3383]

Uh, and everyone else isn't human

[@ThreesiXtydegreeS]

"Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today." - Jordan Peterson

[@gideontembo5123]

@Simon Sinek am a keen follower, you are just amazing and smart in thinking . That's leadershift

[@StephanG007]

Just in case anyone else was confused. The Simon Sinek who replied in this comment thread isn't the real one. If you click on his name you'll see it's just an empty channel with the same name.

[@iliveinsideyourhouse3943]

"pet a cat when you encountering one in the street" -Jordan Petersons

[@inspiringyoungchampions2482]

This quote is brilliant. so fitting! 👏

[@AlumniQuad]

"Don't compare yourself to the full-time baby boomers with their 5 weeks of paid vacation, 100% paid tuition, 401(k) plan plus pension, window offices, just be content as a permatemp code janitor in a cubicle farm earning $14/hour no benefits, no paid vacation, no nothing." - Corporate America to me in 1990-1992

[@shiblee0670]

I do not compare with anyone but I have a destructive habit of comparing my current situation with an ideal myself that I want to be. It is really deadly.

[@emmelinebarre-minos6635]

Yes, kill your ideal self and embrace your common actual self, it is a daily work and it s worth it, you feel free and just yourself, I m enjoying after a while my ordinary me 😉

[@True38]

Same with me although I do enjoy crushing others as well. But if you reach your own ideal, you won't have to. It is what it is.

[@emmelinebarre-minos6635]

@@True38 i don’t believe in reaching our ideal self, semantically it will always be up and I feel personal development vicious to suggest « you are amazing, you can be better, you can do the impossible » ! Nope, how much I try I can’t fly by myself 🤣 what I mean is just discovering ourselves with dark and light is well enough and takes ages 😉

[@True38]

@@emmelinebarre-minos6635 You can always do better and you should always strive to do better and reach your full potential. There is nothing better for yourself and everyone else if you pursue such an honorable goal in life. To just be where you are, to stop progressing, to stop developing, and to stop climbing, that's only going to make you dead on the inside. When you've reached the point of self-actualization, you are at the top of Maslow's pyramid, and there is no better state of mind than that. Trust me :)

[@emmelinebarre-minos6635]

@@True38 of course improving is part of human nature, i just diverge on the way to reach it, in my experience (personal and as a psycho therapist) I just think acceptance of who we are with our darkness is way much interesting and achieving than always want to reach the sun ☀️. It s a hard work too, needs discipline, introspection and to remove our masks 🎭 about who we want to be and show to the world, to just be cool which who we are. This is not a question of trust my dear, it s my way of seeing life and it helps some others. We probably not on a same path and It s ok ! However, I don’t understand the link with Maslow who talk about needs, of course everyone keep going reaching them. Have a nice day

[@SumonAdakpbx]

"Comparison exaggerates our insecurities."

[@liftstressaway8357]

@Simon Sinek just wow. Hi Simon Sinek 🙄

[@sarasmith1255]

We are all on our own paths. Your path has nothing to do with my path, and my path has nothing to do with your path. There’s no point in comparing.

[@Clover_9777]

He is such a good storyteller.

[@alicenyw1872]

Yes! His way of talking always grabs my attention.

[@dexterdexter402]

It is because he has thought about these many many times, formed his opinion and practiced or played the story in his head many times. After a while it becomes normal

[@Drokkstar_]

" If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself." - Desiderata. c.1927

[@lafudge2929]

Unless you're the best.

[@asadashraf2128]

Got to respect his honesty, especially when he almost belittles himself to help and advise others.

[@Anonymous-bm8sv]

Just think about it. Think about all the autocratic world leaders who make decisions that greatly impact our lives on a global scale. How many of them see their competitors as worthy 'competitors'? (I know this depends on culture as well).

[@nerdock4747]

And his public vulnerability, that's a big deal.

[@monocle8868]

This guy is really good. When vulnerability doesn’t bog you down, than you are good.

[@IPv6people]

It's not so hard to seemingly belittle yourself, when you are succesful and famous. Listen to him with his context and position in mind. Nice man and not all he tells is common sense in another jacket, but not a genius. Nice man.

[@akovacsrealtor]

I’m not only loving your stories but also they way you’re delivering them! 😊

[@tripandnature9496]

Thank You for expressing my feelings for me as well. All I can do right now is smiling. 😆😆😆

[@10ON10]

*That's why the quantity of social media usage should be in moderation, too much and it would spiral into depression and time wastage*

[@raymondtendau2749]

Comparison,is the thief of Joy. ‐Theodore Roosevelt.

[@champboehm7863]

Teddy!

[@claytongue]

I thought Toby was?

[@gordongordon98]

Joy Behar?

[@audizul]

@@claytongue Nah its Dwight

[@Only2GendersCommonSense]

*Teddy Brosevelt

[@corcoranmagriproperties]

It's healthy to grow our strengths rather then be intimidated by the strengths of others. Love this speech, very deep and humble person! 😊😊😊

[@thamsanqathusi9671]

why do you people these days say "then" instead of "than". i don't get it. is it a new trend?

[@gingfreecss3808]

@@thamsanqathusi9671 probably just wrong grammar

[@geemail369]

Takes a *LOT* of _heart,_ openig up to his "foe" the way he did ... + in front of an audience!

[@ForzaNapoli666]

I really didn't expect him to say that. That's guts right there.

[@truthh8597]

Who is his foe?

[@davidv774]

@@truthh8597 Adam Grant

[@jasonchristiansen9063]

"Compare yourself to who you where yesterday not to who someone else is today." Jordan b Peterson.

[@blakewilliams1746]

I love hearing guys like Jordan and Simon. I’m so glad there’s still hope in humanity.

[@johncleet2837]

@@blakewilliams1746 If you believe there is, "hope in humanity", whatever the hell that means, because of a public paid speaker like Jordan Peterson who does nothing but remind us of what we already know, then there is no hope for the humanity you feel there's hope for. Good for you though, really, being hyperbole however, isn't going to serve you for long.

[@user-qe7bt9dz1l]

I always noticed that any talk of someone giving a solution to “comparing yourself to others”, people LOVE those talks. Just look at the like to dislike ratio. It may be a good talk too but I’m always seeing that consistency and that just shows how much people suffer from this.

[@katehu7194]

Expect them to remain hot-topic until social media completely shuts down.

[@shantanukadiyali7720]

It's healthy to grow our own strengths, rather than be intimated by the strengths of others.

[@davidm.57]

so encouraging when you hear people like this share their battles and find out they are not so different from ours

[@fathulbariofficial]

I love how you share your insecurities with such ease. ❤️😊

[@Host2TransformGlobal]

"Is healthy to grow our own strength, rather be intimidated by the strengths of others", a great reminder and advice! Tapping into our strength and purpose able each of us to unlock potential and transform into great leaders. Thank you for sharing this experience with us!

[@no-bozos]

This guy is the most self-aware person I've ever heard speak.

[@lukeweidner1246]

feel lucky to be alive in this guy's era. one of our more influential thinkers of this century

[@inspiringyoungchampions2482]

Such a rich message. Nothing wrong with picking the strengths of those around you to deepen yours, but be your own person. Comparing yourself to others will keep you looking outside of enriching you! 👍

[@wisdom-for-all]

Comparing is the thief of Joy. Indeed, it is one of those battles you cannot win 🖖

[@bmck3039]

Great point...choose your battles wisely.

[@pamelah6431]

"...I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

[@nerdymillennial]

This popped up on my suggestions this morning. Gonna remember and try to live by this every day of 2023. Happy new year folks!

[@mjmarcinski]

A worthy rival, good competition can provide good things because of motivation it creates. Thank you Simon.

[@laaaliiiluuu]

The body only hates pain that comes from things that can destroy it but absolutely loves pain that comes from things that can build it. We don't fear pain. We fear things that can destroy us. It has nothing to do with pain but with a false interpretation of what pain is. Pain is the symptom, not the cause. Make sure that what creates pain makes you stronger and you will love it in spite of the pain. The pain will motivate you to tame the beast you are tackling with because in doing so it makes you stronger.

[@meepmonster750]

I would like to copy this to read later but youtube isn't letting me :(

[@meepmonster750]

I'll just retype it lol

[@arnavtumbde6249]

he is such an excellent personality. always speaking relatable things

[@unliuniverse2999]

I'm glad I saw Simon Sinek's video. He's a blessing to my generation. 🙂

[@johnhoward2481]

I was in a California Sandwich shop reading, Start with Why. Another patron came over to me to speak about the book. It's amazing the positive effect you have on people willing to listen. I sincerely thank you.

[@danieleliassalgadomiranda224]

This is nothing but a hell of a masterpiece. I just had probably the best 3 minutes of my life.

[@hardcoregym7316]

Absolutely brilliant perspective. Simon! Through your experiences & efforts to re-educate people you are investing in rebuilding the human in humanity. Thank you very much for your help.

[@elohimlubamba8818]

I love the fact tjrs you're honest in front of camera and how you do your best to help people through your own experiences. To compare ourselves to other pailles doesn't help us at all

[@johnypanta6208]

I love this man. I can listen to Simon speak all day

[@schmetterlingsfrequenz]

All those people are there for us as a mirror. If someone (or something) really annoys me, they most probably reflect something that I do not allow myself to be or to do. So, I am extremely grateful for every "annoying" person I meet since they really make me move forward. Thank you!

[@aneeqm5777]

Bro this was so good. He literally states the obvious and yet it seems so reassuring 😭🔥

[@benjaminrobertgraham524]

How true is it that when we spend time comparing to others through our own filter that we will consistently come up short. Powerful.

[@jeff_r517]

It's so vital to really know who we are, so that our life becomes about growing toward a better version of ourself. If we can learn from those further along the path, that's great, but they have their own history, environment, opportunities, etc. Making too much of the other person as a goal for my life means I lose who I am or should be.

[@kaivalytolbande8787]

infinite game theory is the best thing I learned in lockdown. thanks simon

[@Kevin-jc1fx]

It's healthy to grow our own strengths rather than be intimidated by the strenghts of others. - That is wise.

[@mohdnurhisyamtalang6106]

"I'm taking more pride in the things that I'm good at, rather than I have to be good at all that he good at". It's healthy to grow on our own strengths.

[@ritikapoor2384]

I love the ease with which you explain things, no comparisons....lets love analogies.

[@roxanamariascottlarrazabal8336]

This happens without thinking in our competitive world, thanks for bringing awareness 💪🏻

[@qmpoohbear97]

I love this!!! Thank you for your wisdom and honest stories.🙌🏼😁

[@ForzaNapoli666]

Very wise words. A lot of people are sucked up in the world of social media, forgetting what's actually important in life.

[@ronandheather3079]

I absolutely love and respect you Simon. You bless me and help me grind hard every day! God bless you!

[@keepmyexpectationsongodnot4039]

That's ME WHEN you are yourself. When you focus on yourself not others you never compare yourself and let yourself intimidated with others. Being different makes us unique.. MANY THANKS 👍👌🏼❤️

[@foesfly3047]

I am seriously impressed with your candor, modesty and humility. Especially in how these qualities were demonstrated when you introduced your 'rival author'. What nominal people fail to recognize is the genuine strength of character and personal confidence such attributes indicate. I Seriously appreciate you, Brother.

[@BenOnuMuDiyorum]

Man that was life changing. And what makes it so valuable is that it was a candid story. His own humble story which I loved.

[@reguisthesjw7796]

I can confirm it works. I cannot stress enough how much more serene and confident I feel since I stopped comparing myself to others.

[@glennhonestly6600]

He's not the messiah, he'a a mere motivational speaker. You have free access to him compared to your school hiring one to motivate students

[@thesadwolf]

"Comparison is the thief of joy" - Teddy Roosevelt

[@myramo1210]

I really enjoy and love your talks; I feel like someone can draw my feelings and knowing in his words, thank you and many blessings

[@jesmano1194]

Simon Sinek we love you!!! ❤❤❤❤❤ Thank you so much for being YOU! God bless you and your whole family! 💕💕💕💕💕

[@davielgaming1200]

What I love his ability to be fearlessly transparent about his own personal experiences and thoughts and emotions behind them and draw human behavior parallels. One of favorite speeches is where he talks about empathy; genuinely taking interest in others by keeping in mind, behind people lies a story we are unaware of. The video about being an idiot, I ask a lot of questions and have annoyed people as a result but also have seen others be alleviated to when the answers are received. You may be perceived as an idiot but your not because asking questions until you understand is learning. How do you learn if you don’t understand? Sound wisdom for the spiritual senses. Thank you for leadership Simon. It is unimaginably appreciated.

[@IPv6people]

It's not so hard to be 'fearlessly transparent' when you are succesful and famous. Listen to him with his context and position in mind. Nice man and not all he tells is common sense in another jacket, but not a genius. Nice man.

[@Brickwilliams]

@@IPv6people very smart man and wise. Has great perspective

[@lisabell1408]

Simon, I first started watching you in 2017 after feeling under valued / appreciated at work. You have inspired me to become a leader in my field (education) and have changed my life. I could honestly listen to you talk all day; which is why I listen to your books on audible. Keep working on inspiring content and educating us all on how to be better humans. Kind Regards, Lisa :-)

[@josephgonzales9649]

I love the sense of closeness and intimacy that the crowd gives this video

[@konniemac316]

I’m reading his book “Leaders Eat Last” right now. I’m very pleased with it.

[@luthandolumarcho8400]

“It’s Healthy To Grow Our Own Strength Rather Than Being Intimidated By The Strength Of Others”

[@bellasonrisa42]

Your ability to instantly captivate an audience never ceases to amaze me, and your insights and brilliant storytelling are invaluable tools in my ongoing pursuit to self-motivate, succeed, inspire, and strive to become the best version of myself possible. Thank you for being you and sharing your gifts!

[@izaadh328]

Aha! Then this is who Simon is! From this video I realized how perfectly he delivers the incredible message.! Love it

[@drmonster6357]

He seems like the most down to earth motivational speaker, I like the guy . But I'm always on guard for this type of stuff.

[@akkugaur4760]

Wow, I just love this man and he makes me feel so light at times when I feel low🦉 He is amazing indeed😂

[@fadeldiande7658]

Very interesting video. I definitely agree with his view point. By comparing ourselves to others, it makes us feel very bad and less good at some things. I remember that each time I have to talk in front of people, the less I compared myself, the better I feel.

[@racaciaruth4460]

I love this Simon ❤️. We live in a world of interdependence. We learn to be better from people we admire. 🙏 Inspire on dearest. 🔥 ❤️

[@Tribunal1023]

“It’s healthy to grow our own strengths rather than be intimidated by the strengths of others.”

[@christiebongel5737]

Just listened to Simon’s podcast episode with Adam Grant (his nemesis), and they talked about his very story! Love it!!

[@xxxx4083]

Thanks wass looking for the name of his "friend" hence reading the comments.

[@prod_adrian]

I thought it would be Ryan Holiday Lol

[@valeriadobriak8976]

It’s a really cool story! Thank you for your speech:)

[@victoriafarina3798]

Simon i love the way and how you speak.The way you put your words across really holds my attention. And I love your honesty that I really respect. This Australian thanks you.

[@amsaric]

love love love this story! i never get tired of hearing it over and over again.

[@anyangthiep8802]

It's good for us to celebrate each other success and that will bring out the real authenticity in each other, it's make the world a better place for all of us. No jealous, just love 👍👍👍

[@boardmangot_paid718]

I used to not be a big listener and thought i knew alot, until i heard Simon. He relates so much. You can learn alot about life hearing Simon ✊

[@boardmangot_paid718]

😂😂😂 how about no

[@tomrafferty2562]

So much wisdom in a short easy to watch clip. Great stuff.

[@S4IF15]

His human just like the rest of us, an his honesty is whats beautiful

[@urvashiappiah2736]

I love this story so much 😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️ thank you for sharing such good contents!

[@EnglishLearnersHere]

This is so true! Thanks for sharing this!

[@oocarpa]

Gosh... how much I love this man!!!

[@jenvuhuong]

Love it. He made the not fun habit become fun and full of wisdom

[@RonnyJimenez1]

Comparison leads to jealousy, very unproductive feeling... Thanks for sharing

[@amarug]

explains a lot, i have never compared myself to others, not as a kid, not as a teen, not as an adult... i always wondered why i seemed much more content and happy than many peers 😂

[@SoRandom31]

Isn't the claim that you were more content than others still technically a comparison? 🤔

[@amarug]

@@SoRandom31 technically it is, but i think you can see the subtle difference to what Simon is talking about: it's about comparisons that you actively seek out, which then immediately trigger an emotional valuation, that make you feel either good or bad. and then sometimes they output a new set of actions that you are determined to follow, in order to change the current status of the comparison. versus in my case, it was a sort of diffuse, curious observation from a far, without judgement or emotional feedback.

[@srinivasanp.b9914]

Never ever compare yourself. Make a plan for your life and execute it, independent of anyone else. Never look at others around you. Focus only on your work. It's hard, but with practice you can master the skill. It is just a skill.

[@risingtitan1845]

His sentences consist entirely of pure wisdom to listen to something like this is just refreshing.

[@renike2004]

How could someone not love you Simon, is beyond me... Love the KZbin channel, the podcasts on Spotify. You're so admirable, infectiously inspiring, affectionate and the list could go on and on and on. Nobody has made me cry or laugh (with them) so much as you have with your stories or story telling. Please, don't ever stop what you're doing. You've helped me so much in my healing process, just by listening to your podcast or by watching your videos... I'm sure there are many others that can relate. All the best Simon 🙌🏻🙏🏼

[@soulvey]

Maybe because a lot of what he says is just recycled garbage you can pick up from any two-bit self-help book in an airport, delivered with the same amount of sincerity as a copy-pasted LinkedIn post?

[@busyshah]

Wow! Helpful learning. I was also confused about a person whom I sometimes hated and respected the same time. It can happen (I am not crazy). Lets focus on becoming better at what I am already good at. Thank you Mr. Sinek.

[@vasumatigawande9422]

So much knowledge..so much wisdom...and such humility ...its such a pleasure to hear u speak 👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾

[@cristianmicu]

this guy is a genius IN ONE DOMAIN. and for that specific domain, he deserves A LOT of customers and success

[@WhispearsofPadme]

I love your stories, thank you for helping people and being you.

[@catrionamurphy6295]

Fantastic 3 minute sound bite. So much in there!

[@mujtubahasan1922]

I watch first second of Simon Sinek's video and I like it, without even watching it whole.

[@AhmetKaan]

You just gotta keep going and fighting for everything, and one day you'll get to where you want. 🦁 I believe in you, keep your hustle up.

[@AhmetKaan]

You'll realize how far you are in your journey, but you'll soon realize you can go even further and achieve greater challenges. Keep going my friend. 💥💥

[@AlexKashie]

Wow such a brilliant story... Thank you Simon, keep inspiring us

[@romanvladimirovichpetrikov4947]

What a great interview! I thank you for your superb and useful advice! Have a happy and peaceful life, ladies and gentlemen!

[@srijanuniyal2766]

Short story big lesson. 👍

[@zurvey]

He's fixated only on half the problem. Feeling insecure about comparisons is bad, but feeling superior by comparison is perhaps worse. That's license to not respect others.

[@billtruttschel]

Yes, however, respect must be earned, not expected.

[@zurvey]

​@@billtruttschel a cliché that has absolutely NOTHING to do with what I just said. 🙁 If person A is skinnier than person B, then person A might mock person B - and that has NOTHING to do with person B not "earning" respect. If person A has more subscribers than person B, it is not a license to treat person B disrespectfully. Again, Simon only addressed HALF the problem. Comparisons don't just make some feel insecure - they make others arrogant and disrespectful.

[@vsezaye]

That has nothing to do with what he's saying though, it's purely your fixation

[@zurvey]

@@vsezaye Yes, it does. You're wrong.

[@HoBBLeCooKiE]

It doesn't matter which side of comparison you are on, it's bad. In both instances there could be a feeling of inferiority; you or the other person. By not comparing in the first place, both scenarios will be eliminated.

[@melgary2663]

I love Simon, gentle , kind, smart

[@tintindb]

A strong enemy is better than a weak friend.

[@martinasimanjuntak6136]

One of the 12 rules of life by Jordan Peterson: only compare yourself with you yesterday.

[@yoyashuyo3485]

🙏😎🙏