When to Walk Away From a Bad Situation

On today’s show, we hear about:
A woman whose husband is second-guessing their marriage
A woman questioning whether she’s a good person
A mom wanting to protect her daughter from being bullied
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The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
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[@heatherjones4981]

Once a man says he doesnt want to be with you, dont give him the opportunity to say that twice

[@jennyjones-tw5hp]

Ok Steve Harvey.

[@cynthiacrawford6147]

Facts

[@crimsonskyy1]

Judge Lynn Toler ❤ wisdom

[@Samsungsamsung-ec5gl]

They mean it when they say it, even if they come back.

[@tammygarrett8427]

@@Samsungsamsung-ec5gl If they come back do not take them back you are just a place holder untill the next time

[@DaishaView]

a husband saying he’s gonna “see what the vibes are like when i get home” is crazy lmao. girl leave him alone😭

[@lb1798]

Any time a man says "he's gonna see"...means he's already looking/planning something WAY DIFFERENT!!!! IM NOT going to wait around for someone to DECIDE what they want.

[@Sanlynnben]

He is a man- child. ( hub of first caller). You are the father/step-father of 3 kids & ya gonna check out the vibe. 😆😆😆. I am amazed at her calmness. I would be turning into the girl from the Exorcist - green vomit spewing out. 🤣. Like, you leave me here with YOUR kid & YOU gonna come home & check out the vibe. 🙄 😳😤🤦‍♀️😡BEYOND ridonculousness!!!!

[@Uncle-Smart-Alec]

Not that easy to leave him alone. He is supporting 3 children she brought into the marriage. (If I understood correctly)

[@amaryllisr6323]

@@Uncle-Smart-Alec yeah exactly there’s more nuance than her just sticking around to get treated poorly. I really hope she has a great support circle to help her navigate this externally rough patch in her life

[@mightymouse1005]

If it was me, it would be the vibe of crickets

[@kathigratton2286]

He wants to see what the vibe is like he’s gonna see what locks are changed

[@mightymouse1005]

What the business trip guy means by vibes is ,can I find a younger gal ? If he feels like he can do better, he will have bad vibes. If noone wants him, he'll get good vibes

[@ponygirlusa]

😂

[@Lizzykizzy123]

LMAO

[@umbfitness]

😂😂😂

[@ciobalina7445]

​@@mightymouse1005 Good point!

[@Whatorwellsaid21]

Husband on the work trip is the gaslighter of the year.

[@2780-l2k]

5 weeks?!? My husband went on a 3 day Chicago work conference and I didn’t hear from him. I didn’t call or text either. It’s like enjoy your bender or whatever in your hotel room. He wants to feel less guilty about how selfish and immoral he is, so he will try to provoke me to acting out to justify he is some kind of victim. I never suffocated him, I simply asked for what he gave when he courted me (for two months). This guy is gaslighting and garbage.

[@crashtestdummy1972]

Hes pounding his work wife

[@aileenkrauchi6553]

@@lilolmecjDam - 2-3 fathers… Perception is everything… Don’t be this person who puts judgment on someone that carelessly.

[@sarcasticcat4982]

​​@@lilolmecjhe made vows to A PERSON. Regardless of what she was he still agreed. Stop making excuses for weak men. She mentioned that she has two kids, which means the third is his. She also stated that they were trying to blend " two families". He's a dad too.

[@sarcasticcat4982]

@@lilolmecj it is completely your.fault if you knew what you were getting into and promised to be there. The way he's behaving is uncalled for. For.Gods sake get counseling, don't ditch like a.coward.What the hell is he doing to those kids.who call him Dad? Just yank them around too, asshole.(Dad) She also said they were a blended family. One child is not there permanently.

[@kcourtney6826]

When you tell someone to "fight for their marriage" make sure they understand what they are fighting for, the fact the 1st caller's husband goes away for a business trip and within the 1st week is like I don't miss you and I feel so much better, tells me he was never vested in the marriage in the first place. You don't want to fight for someone who flakes out on you whenever the mood strikes.

[@tinam761]

Right? Very tough place to be when the other partner does not share the level of commitment you do. He’s definitely having some sort of affair.

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@tinam761 Some people are legally married after saying the vows, the parties, nice clothing & delicious cake though they or one of them is not very committed to the marriage. People who are legally married AND committed to the other person, the marriage, honoring their bond are the ones who would miss their spouse so much & happy to get back to them.

[@diggernash1]

Why would he want to deal with her kids like they are his own? Every child devalues single mothers to future suitors...period.

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@diggernash1 Such a limited view of the world. Better to educate yourself then learn to have compassion.

[@diggernash1]

@FreeSpirit47 On am in my second blrnded family. Much better this time. I took the role of wise uncle and stayed away from all parenting. That is on the biological mom and dad's shoulders; even though he is absent. Has saved me a ton of money and no guilt to carry.

[@TMichelle555]

If a man I’m seeing much less a HUSBAND told me he needs to check the vibes when he comes home, there’s no discussion. I checked the vibes and they didn’t pass the vibe check, you can go now. That’s an insane thing to tell your wife

[@PollyPatriot]

I’d say; Here’s your vibe ; buh bye bye!

[@jillcrato1680]

Check the vibes! God! What year is this,1968?

[@devinhanna53]

Bye bye and now me and the kids are gonna look for a new daddy. Again

[@Poodlesnpussies]

​@@jillcrato1680lmao you just showed your age 😂

[@Itscristinabetancourt]

Not just a man but your HUSBAND!!?? Wild

[@searching1029]

“Uhh cuz he’s a coward” LOL Dr.John Delony is the realest brother. I appreciate your life doc.

[@ChristopherWray7]

He sucks he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and he never helps the issue ehat he does I can do lol

[@ashleybee8937]

Someone find this woman and hug her, she doesn’t know her worth. It’s heartbreaking.

[@robertaturk]

He’s been breaking her down for a long time. Of course she doesn’t value herself.

[@RosaBetina]

Right?! Her husband is giving single fucc boi vibes and she needs to leave him

[@zakryhowell9652]

I absolutely love the fact that he casually throws in a few times "hes a coward" just to really drive it home😂

[@littledumpling6454]

This woman is soo calm about seeing her husband in pictures with someone else while ignoring her, I would start burning things lol I dunno how she does it.

[@meesh1002]

Right?! I’m like is she on a different planet because she sounds like nothing has happened lol

[@NM-xoxo]

His keys would no longer work when he gets home. I’d start gathering evidence & I’d block him for two weeks

[@CryptoKernels]

Women like you are the reason I am and will be remaining single. Peace is far more valuable than pu-y!

[@Shaara1]

She actually seems crazier than the husband. Every sentence includes an excuse too for the man. Yes he is cheating on me, yes, he needs time off from us, yes he says he is happier without me...but I understand...but how can I save my marriage?

[@millafin9469]

​@@NM-xoxo YOU BET!!

[@dannyphilbrook7669]

as a man in the military, contact his supervisor

[@michellesimmons3150]

supervisor?? you mean chain of command?

[@All_forthelove]

@@michellesimmons3150your sup is in your chain of command

[@jennyjones-tw5hp]

Pffft, obviously you aren’t active duty. This crap is always an open secret and it’s up to the command to decide if they want to deal with it. 9/10 they don’t.

[@JenniferJane78]

Why? Military is designed for poor marriage health and adultery. Want his commanding officer to give him a high five?

[@countcoupblessings979]

That was my thought too . At least a respectful addressing of the issue . Acting with integrity is still important even if you leave someone.

[@mandee918]

Once she said he’s in the military, I knew he was cheating. Not because all military men cheat, but because the culture, especially on trips, is just like this. My husband (now ex) started cheating with female in same unit as soon as he left for training. I found out a year later.

[@Hatbox948]

My daughter's ex is a cop. They have the basically the same cheating problems as military men. Her ex cheated, and that was the end of their marriage. There was nothing left to work out.

[@coquittam1012]

Same thing happened to me. Mine went to barber school for sub duty, and I found out maybe one or two days after he got back home. Found out while at the car dealership taking a picture of me and the kids in his phone… found WhatsApp, opened it up and all the evidence was there. I feel so sorry for this lady because I strongly feel like he’s cheating too. It happens to much in the military community

[@prrivas1979]

You're so right!

[@thehermi]

Same happened to me

[@Coolpoolers]

This is my “me too” moment! Definitely part of the military culture.

[@sellmav]

My mom always said that the secret to a happy marriage is to marry a man who loves you just a tiny bit more than you love him. It balances the scales. 😂

[@universaltruth2025]

Not sure about that. It might need to be the other way around tbh.

[@lorryr255]

I've heard that one too

[@lorryr255]

​@@universaltruth2025men don't like needy

[@universaltruth2025]

@@lorryr255 nor do women

[@lorryr255]

@@universaltruth2025 I think if a woman loves a man more she notices. That can turn into needy. If a man loves a woman more he becomes more demonstrative which women appreciate. It balances better.

[@phuonghuynh5946]

When I was in middle school, I watched this girl get bullied relentlessly by this other girl on our bus. I decided to be her friend and the next day, the bully came up to me and told me if I don’t stop talking to her, that I’d be next. I was so shocked and confused that she was telling me this silly thing that I just stared into her eyes and didn’t say anything. It was pure awkward silence for maybe a minute or two, she didn’t do or say anything else, looked super confused, and then walked away in silence. I didn’t care and thought her threat was funny, the next day I continued talking to my friend as if nothing happened. The bully never talked to me or bullied my friend again. I’m still not sure why she just completely gave up but I’m glad for it. Kids do not deserve to be bullied, I saw my friend so defeated and wish I would’ve reached out to her sooner.

[@DeehH7]

I wish that every person who is bullied has a friend like you. Just having one faithful friend can make all the difference in the world . Thank you for being that faithful friend.

[@angel794]

Good for you!

[@bcc7777]

And by the way, you're one of the cool kids too. 😊 😎

[@matthewbrandon931]

Tell him not to bother coming home.

[@millafin9469]

YUP!! RIGHT YOU. ARE!

[@lilydiaz7085]

To the mom with the child's bullying. I, too, live in Central California close to Stockton. I, too, have the same issues for my granddaughter!!! I never get a response from the school on any resolve. You're not alone!!!

[@phatqt3522]

My son was bullied til I told him… don’t start anything but finish everything. He knocked them out….sometimes you gotta teach one so the others will learn

[@KimmieB1993]

My mom and step-dad told me I had permission to fight my bully. I didn't fight her but I scared the hell out of her and she then tried to be friends with me. Children have to learn to stand up for themselves.

[@Keeks492]

Amén to that!!!

[@tjjones-xj7kq]

Yup dad said if they start it you finish it. Kid knocked me over in middle school and I got up and threw him down. (after he tried to run away) He cried from embarrassment and said "I'm telling!" This was 8th grade!!!! Other kids heard him say that and he lost his standing. He never had power over me again. This started in late elementary school mind you.

[@univers368]

Bullies are the narcissist and psychopaths of tomorrow. The wise thing to do is to confront them. Being so insecure they will switch behaviour in seconds.

[@angel794]

​@@KimmieB1993There are better ways to respond to bullying then hitting somebody. Is that how you deal with people who bother you.

[@Khemtime]

First call, holy hell that crap is one of the things I hate most about being in the military. Sure it happens in other careers but it’s so prevalent in military culture. I’ve only been in two years but I’m shocked and disgusted by how casually people I work with cheat on their spouses and significant others. My first deployment as soon as we left home it was like everyone was single again. I can’t stand being around people like that.

[@bethl]

My husband saw that in the corporate world as well.

[@freespiritwithnature4384]

Her military husband is going to end up losing everything. Walk girl because he's cheating on. 💯 % .Run...

[@sarcasticcat4982]

​@brittanyw2358But yet the ones on shore come and hit on the other soldiers wives. They don't even respect their comrades in arms and know to not step over that line. Dogs are dogs.

[@stampandscrap7494]

My husband used to hate going on business trips, hated the way the others behaved.

[@kendradamm1428]

Yep. It IS very prevalent in the military and it IS disgusting. 😢

[@mimimonster]

For the mom with the daughter who is depressed enough to talk about suicide who has done everything to help her and the school won’t help MOVE YOUR DAUGHTER TO ANOTHER SCHOOL ASAP. This isn’t about winning. This is about the mental well-being of your child. She needs the chance to start over. I knew a girl who babysat my kids who was bullied and had no friends at one school. Her parents moved her to another school, she made TONS of friends, and was on the homecoming court!!! It it was me, this is a no brainer - my kid is WAYYY more important than winning a battle!!!! Great advice from Dr. John.

[@pear_jules4013]

Exactly. I knew two young boys who were the school “nerds, dorks, etc” who moved to a new school and settled in very well. Because no one at the new school knew they were the school scapegoats.

[@loverules1667]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@fractally]

I was bullied from first grade thru ninth grade---Catholic schools. Finally put my foot down and refused to go back; enrolled in the neighborhood public schools and found out I was a likeable person! You are so correct. Get her out of the toxic environment ASAP.

[@kathleen460]

I went to one middle school for 2 years. I'm the beginning of 8th grade I started to have my group of friends turn on me. One day they wrote me a threatening letter. My dad was usually closed off about things for me. But when I begged him to go to my cousins school because of it, he actually agreed. Within a month, I left. I am so thankful he listened to me. I didn't suddenly have more friends, but it was a fresh start and O honestly feel it protected me from real misery. Please consider!

[@jazzyscott]

Same I was bullied in middle and high school for many years. It wasn’t until my senior year where I switched schools to a different state where no one knew me and i went from being the ugly poor girl to having people coming up me randomly asking to be my friend. Literally by 3rd period I had 6 people add me on social media and was invited to a soccer game that day by a group of girls. I ended up being asked to homecoming and invited to parties. Changing schools changed things SO much and I honestly enjoyed going to school. My gpa for the year was the highest I’d had throughout high school due to the positive environment.

[@deamon506]

Put the bullied girl in jiu jitsu. Not to fight, but for self defense and learning confidence and other skills

[@alexandriatownsend119]

Teach your child to stand up for themselves, because the trouble doesn't end in middle school. There will always be someone waiting to take advantage.

[@BigPrincessSam]

First caller - Recent ex-husband did this to me. When I pressed the issue, he ghosted me - as I was having the worse medical crisis of my life & almost died. Be prepared. He will have you walking on egg shells, but the truth is he’s just buying time until he is sure he has his new supply. Once he does, he will ghost you the first time you corner him. Prepared to leave ❤

[@fh1980ram]

Raising someone else's kids is not for everyone. It takes a special kind of person to do that.

[@KellyMartin0902]

Either he loves the woman or he doesn't.... whether they have children or not is usually discussed BEFORE marriage.

[@amyteurlife9408]

Yeah it's hard, some times a man leaves his own kids and goes on to raise someone else's kids and lets another man raise his.

[@Shopgirl1]

@@KellyMartin0902he married a woman who already had kids!

[@eloisemarie5219]

Needs to start taking actions for him to leave. Start immediate plans to leave with her two kids and his kid can go back to the mother or be waiting for him when he gets home. Sad but necessary.

[@sellmav]

That would have been something to think about BEFORE he married her.

[@lisajeter9511]

I know a military wife while her husband was deployed. Several weeks before he was to returned, he called his wife and said he found a new lady and she had to get out of their home before he got back. He had 2 Siberian Huskies he paid 4,000 a piece for. So the actual wife that was told she had to get out of the house before he got back. She followed his directions and gave away his 2 Huskys! Then reported him to his Commanding Officer. Which caused him to get kicked out of the military. He was dating a lower ranked lady. Which is a big NO no in the Military.

[@BFku36]

When was this?

[@mangomadnnesss]

So you are saying they can date higher rank and its okay? 👀

[@santinabellydance]

You can date higher rank. I always did and nobody cared. I was E3 and my BF was E6

[@brendajohnson3173]

Probably officer and enlisted situation which is a no-no. And he couldn't kick her out of their home.

[@hillarybillary21]

Abusing animals is just as low as he is

[@charlotteboyett-napper4780]

He’s using that affair as a excuse to abuse her. He’s too much of a coward to admit to her he doesn’t want to be married to her anymore for whatever reason. He wants her to break it off so he looks like the victim

[@katha3704]

And: what he did is r***. Blackmailing someone into S** is r***. It's not just not okay and it's not just blackmailing, it is r***.

[@millafin9469]

Well said!

[@JennaP-y8j]

My step dad of 10 years (who I thought) was the better dad over my dad traveled 3/4 of the month for his military contract job. He was found cheating on my mom for over a year even after she asked him with a subordinate. My mom used to travel all over the world with him on those trips until her health problems started to come back again. Unfortunately, I was the one to find out and have to tell my mom which was extremely heavy on its own but the best. When he was confronted I had just moved back into their house as a temporary situation and he threw all of my belongings on the front lawn as if it was my fault he was caught. Cops got called & I haven't spoken to him since. His work found out, he lost his 300k job along with his family. Woof. It's never worth it!

[@aracelimalone1167]

I’m sorry he took it out on you, that’s messed up of him. I know how it feels. You think you have a good father figure until they betray/break the family like that you realize they were never your dad.

[@Malibusunrise]

What a loser 😂

[@mikkibates7854]

I'm afraid that the woman whose husband left "on business" for five weeks, and finally said that he doesn't like marriage anymore NEEDS LEGAL COUNSEL ASAP. That's the kind of guy who has frequently been squirreling money away and has his exit plan in place. She needs some money in an independent account. Trusting women, who are home caring for kids, while dad is pursuing a career, are at risk from a husband with that type of attitude. I'm so very blessed to have a VERY different husband.

[@devinhanna53]

It’s not his kids though. She had those kids with other men. So now take his money why don’t she go ask her baby daddies for money

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

​@@devinhanna53he married her so shush!

[@devinhanna53]

@@aprilchow-chee5281 this is why smart men don’t deal with single moms because of that attitude right there. Us guys will continue to clown guys like that until they get their head straight.

[@jessenceq3250]

​​@@devinhanna53Pride before the fall. I hope no woman chooses you until you wise up with humility. Not every single mother is some advantage seeking vampire. I don't even have children or a divorce in my past and I'm grossed out by the sourness of your comments. Marriage is a sacred vow - period. Protecting and providing is an inherent proclivity of males, and for him to so callously throw away those vows and not walk away with a scratch, such as monetary compensation, is a grave miscarriage of justice. The money would not even begin to cover the debt of those emotional wounds. This guy is a kid and a sad example of males who don't count the cost before building their foundation on the sand. Such guys are aptly called "fools" by the onlookers.

[@devinhanna53]

@@jessenceq3250 so the guy is a kid because he doesn’t want to be held responsible for someone else’s kid? What about the woman going against God by having kids and marriage with other people that’s failed? I’m glad you admitted that you have a 100% fail rate when it comes to relationship and kids yet you’re hear giving advice. I think you should wise up because I’ve only been with one girl my entire life and have 6 kids with her. Im also the only person she’s been with and we laugh at comments like this because it’s so ridiculous you think you are adequate for giving advice on what a man should be. I hope you are still a virgin since you’re not married because if you’re not then you are also going against God. You’re terrible if you think she’s inclined to his money. If I haven’t been with my wife and I was in this dating pool with single moms or girls using abortion as birth control I’d be single for the rest of my life. Girls like you have no virtue and only think about personal happiness. Im curious on how manipulative she was towards him to the point that when he leaves he has a different perspective. I tell men not to date single moms because I’ve seen men don’t like it and the woman will destroy his life? You’re wild and need to wise up.

[@H.R.H-Amina_Bin_Shafiq-SHAKTI]

LEAVE HIM IMMEDIATELY! THOSE AREN'T HIS KIDS THEY'RE YOUR KIDS! MOVE ON! HE DOESN'T WANT THE MARRIAGE ANYMORE!

[@eyme290]

That first call was really sick. Like why would you move forward with a lifelong commitment to someone and allow yourself to renig on all of it? Why even do that? Don’t marry her! And the poor woman is more worried about how he feels than what he’s doing to her life and her self esteem. Save those qualities for someone who actually cares about you, and is not cheating on you and ignoring you for a whole week. That’s emotional abuse. Yes dating a person with kids is a lot, but you don’t stay with someone for 2 years and marry them, THEN decide that it’s too much. You had time to leave before then. That’s just evil.

[@tinah7088]

I really hope the military spouse seeks counsel. Don’t let him leave you high and dry. AR 608-99 provides that a soldier separated from his or her family members will pay, at a minimum, an amount equal to the soldier’s “Basic Allowance for Housing II” at the “with dependents” rate (BAH II-WITH)* , which varies depending on the soldier’s pay grade.

[@vanessasingh39]

❤

[@mewgiah8057]

Why should she get child support when the 3 kids are her own? They aren’t his kids. Shouldn’t the real father be paying for that

[@sellmav]

Doesn’t sound like they’re his kids

[@pompommania]

@mewgiah8057 because he made a commitment to her but to the kids as well. You don't get to walk away that easy when you have responsibilities. You think about it and walk away before entering their lives.

[@devinhanna53]

@@pompommania that’s fucked up honestly. You’re a piece of trash if you really believe that.

[@teresarohlin1859]

For 2nd caller I don’t think she should stay with him. With a child around with someone going to those depths of him taking his own life it’s not safe and you will always be looking over your shoulder. It’s not a good way to live or healthy. You still both have a chance to start fresh and have happier lives. Wishing you the best

[@thelifeandbreathofsamantha9878]

I knew immediately as soon as she said, he’s acting weird on his work trip and unhappy with the relationship all of a sudden smh

[@mightymouse1005]

He making up excuses to cheat

[@nancook6918]

It’s odd that someone in the military would say that he doesn’t like to conform to routine. The military will tell him what where and when…..

[@tinah7088]

Not odd at all when it comes to cheating. I spent 23 years in the military I’ve seen this way too many times.

[@stephaniec0625]

I thought the same thing

[@JenniferJane78]

It is conforming to adulthood, which is uncomfortable for many in the military. Military is like a parent telling their boys what to do, where to go and when to go.

[@cwc1646]

It can really help for kids who are getting bullied to take martial arts classes - really supports self confidence and self control

[@amyjothompson3083]

Sometimes we stay with a person out of Fear. We’ll choose to not see the destruction and red flag warnings until we are so mentally exhausted that we question our own intuition and sanity. And the hamster wheel continues. You have to love yourself first and not let codependency creep in thinking that we just need to make sure the other person is happy, while you self destruct. I’ve so been there. Then one day you wake up and realize you don’t even know yourself anymore. What’s my favorite color? What do I like to do? This is a rough place and it’s also the place where you get to choose which path to take. Trust your gut. Love yourself. And take that leap of faith and let go of all that is keeping you stuck ❤

[@BFku36]

Winning comment here, IMHO. 🏆 😭💔

[@AlexandraVioletta]

I am at this place right now. 9 years of relationship, two kids (8 y/o and 12 months old.).

[@EmoeccentricShawty]

I put my son in jujitsu at 10 years old…. Yeeeah his last bully almost lost his arm. Now no one messes with my baby. He’s now in high school and bullies tread lightly around him even when bullies go for other kids He won’t play that !

[@deriale6015]

The caller with the manipulative husband was so helpful. I left my ex-husband after 12 years with a lot of this behavior. I’d never heard it explained the way John did. I’ve healed from a lot of it and I’m remarried to an incredible husband, who is truly a gift. However, hearing that sort of abuse articulated with so good. After I left I just remember feeling like I was finally experiencing what the world was actually like. It wasn’t the nightmare I’d been in my whole adult life. It wasn’t one catastrophe after another. Problems happened, life happened, but I haven’t felt anything close to the despair that was my every day life with having the constant threat of my spouse’s unaliving themself over my head.

[@katha3704]

I think he should have called it what it is: r***. Blackmailing someone into S** is r***.

[@daCubanaqt]

That call was hard to listen to. I haven’t been in her or your situation, but I feel like her husband basically raped her. It makes me sick what happened to her.

[@coolwater55]

Its wonderful you managed to extricate yourself from a bad marriage, and now have a good life. It's something to note, there is no such thing as " unalive". It's called killing oneself or dead.

[@rebeccavance551]

To the mom in Stockton, I'm a single full time employed mother to my son who've I've raised on my own. We were from Bakersfield and ended up in the North Bay due to my work. My son was going through the same primarily because we are more Christian Conservative and the North Bay area is not. My son became extremely depressed as you stated your daughter is. I pulled him out of the school and enrolled him in an online school. There are plenty to choose from here in CA and they are geared towards online learning unlike the physical schools trying to switch to online as they did during Covid. I am sooooo glad I did. He took the CHSPE and graduated a year early and he will be graduating his trade school HVAC program ready to conquer the world at 19 years old. ❤

[@VioletRaya]

That's amazing.

[@kbc1883]

Congratulations on the grit, wisdom, radical responsibility, resourcefulness and bravery you showed in creating that alternative route to success for your son! I’ve watched my sister pave a new way for her very smart and severely dyslexic daughter and I know the trials and tribulations that can entail even with a supportive spouse and being a stay at home mom. I cannot imagine the level of fortitude you had to muster as a single working mom. Amazing and heroic!

[@shannamom6129]

When girls bully, it is evil and insidious.

[@lisajeter9511]

Never be guilted into doing something you don’t want to do.

[@JennaJennaFoFenna]

When my daughter had a bully in 3rd grade, I taught her to br able to understand that the kid is obviously bullied at home and doesn't get enough love and attention. Then I told her that she needs to tell the kid off. She finally told him that she understands that he is upset because his dad isnt around his mom is mean but she wont tolerate him taking it out on her just because he can tell that she has a loving famiky and is happy. She's had to do the same thing to another kid in middle school. She's also had issues with bring bullied by a kid she was friends with and I had to tell her to stop pretending the kid is her friend and to stay away. She told the girl that she doesnt want to associste with her because she makes her feel bad. The kids will try her every once in a while but they know my daughter will call out their real issues and insecurities that cause them to target her.

[@TheDogAndTheBee]

marie, you deserve so much more. I promise you there are men out there who would love to give you and your kids the love and family stability that you deserve.

[@fh1980ram]

Very few men, specifically nowadays.

[@hadenanderson563]

Name one.

[@irmag.aguilar499]

She does deserve so much more. I say even if that means no man instead of this type.

[@DianeHasHopeInChrist]

Telling a woman to go out and find another man, before she finds herself and heals, is wrong. As THAT'S the problem, today. All these desperate, lonely females "bed-hopping" to find one decent guy, while they "whore" themselves out and get STDs and STIs. Omg!! ALWAYS KEEP YOUR SELF RESPECT ......ALWAYS!!😊 BE PARTICULAR! NEVER SETTLE!

[@CryptoKernels]

Don’t no man want to raise another man’s kids! Wtf is wrong with you??? 🤬

[@kristinewberg7656]

That first call...my husband of two years would never ever go a week without talking to me. Heck, he wouldn't even go a day before reaching out with at least a text or a short call. When you love someone, you want to connect as much as possible.

[@lindagliott5838]

He has another women waiting for him when he gets back or is with a female worker and if so you can ruin their careers. The military does not take that lightly . I was married to the military for 15 years and at it’s best it is very hard for the at home spouse. You raise the kids alone and keep the home, deal with medical, school, bills, church, and the pet veterinary. You have to be a really strong person to be good at this.

[@izabellapollock]

Why does military culture involve so much infidelity even though there’s rules against it? I’ll never understand

[@BFku36]

​@@izabellapollockmaybe the pay/bendits are the same with some less effort and false presences? Just because a military spouse goes away (deployed) doesn't mean they go to war 😂. Just because a pastor or preacher etc., proclaims to be a godly man, doesn't mean they are holding those values or practicing them. 🤔

[@feversandmirrors]

The fact that John likes Bright Eyes just made me love him SO much more.

[@pitheaxolotl2836]

If the daugther has said she will end her life then it's a no brainer that she should be taken out of that school. It's not the mums responsibility to change the bullies. Her responsibility is primarily towards her daughter!

[@lisahowell7441]

Please consider Home schooling your daughter.

[@mymilena7]

I have confronted the bullied head on immediately and told them that if the bullying carried on my child’s father would come deal with them personally when they stepped out of school. The bullying stopped.

[@shannabanana83]

My baby carries pepper spray and when her middle school social worker asked why she had pepper spray in her bookbag, she said mom says to always carry it for protection because I walk home and bullies will be bullies. Social worker said it was a great idea. 😂

[@abbyxiong3931]

Nice!

[@cookingwithsceymoor]

Federal law says you need to be 18+ to carry pepperspray. IF your daughter gets caught with it by school administration or police, it's also posession of a weapon on school grounds in most state, child neglect, negligence...etc they have options to throw around to charge both you and your kid

[@glamgirlkass]

social worker was wrong.

[@kritkat22]

This isn’t great. There’s a reason we don’t give children, who physiologically can’t equate consequences, weapons.

[@MrsCarroll13]

Jen from Omaha and I have a huge piece of our marriage in common. The second she changed herself to please him sexually.. she ended up looking for an emotional connection somewhere else. It’s not okay but it does happen. She says she has shame because of her cheating.. so did I.. but we cheated because we lost our identity through the abuse.. you didn’t necessarily lose your identity because of cheating.

[@vsfreddy]

Haven’t yet seen a cheater that didn’t predictably accuse their spouse of “ abuse”. Anything to not be held accountable or responsible for the choice you made to betray the person you pretend to love. It’s always someone else’s fault.

[@vaska1999]

Exactly. What a surprise that a sexually and emotionally abused woman should grow emotionally close to another man who treats her well! Duh!

[@lou-andreachauvelot1423]

​@@vsfreddyshe didn't do that at all. She was focused on thinking she was not worth being valued. John helped her see the abuse was the issue. She didn't allow herself to see that she was abused. You're really biased here !

[@lou-andreachauvelot1423]

The betrayal of not wanting real affection and working on how to communicate. But saying "give me sex even if you don't want or else" is a worse worse betrayal. He destroyed her. You lack profoundly missed the point here !

[@sassafrasstree7449]

Jen. You are a good person. Please get therapy...... he gas abused your morals and self -esteem. He needs to take responsibility. Really. You need to leave /get away.

[@travistolbert2647]

I love how in the second call John completely bypasses the fact that the husband left because he wasn’t getting the affection he needed to stay in the marriage, but instead of drilling her in why she was withholding that from her husband the husband become the bad guy! The she continues to fail to give him the thing he needs so he has to act out to get that affection from an inattentive spouse! She taught him hey this is what you have to do to get affection from me! Another woman walks away with a pass and the husband is the demon now! Great job John!

[@karadaniel6334]

To the woman who is in a marriage with a man she is not attracted to and who threatens her with suicide, please get counseling and be totally honest. With the counselor and with yourself. This sounds very unhealthy and your self worth will continually be undermined until the truth sets you free. It sounds like you love him, especially valuing his life. But it doesn’t mean that you need to keep compromising your values to be a “good person”, You are valuable, and your boundaries are valid. We are to be affectionate with our husbands, and be sexual, but if they do things we aren’t comfortable with and don’t respect our boundaries to stop doing that, then it becomes a serious problem for the marriage.

[@katha3704]

Let's name it what it is, please. That wasn't just overstepping a boundary. It was r***. Blackmailing someone into having S** with you is r**ing them.

[@thestorybehindthat5236]

I was homeschooled as a kid and now have no idea how to deal with bullying at work. I go somewhere new and it happens there too. I'm done moving around in life because of bullying. This episode helped give me ideas on how to bite back.

[@fractally]

I have found that at work, almost everyone takes turns being the scapegoat, if you are there several years. The odds are that there will always be a few bullies and gossips and judgey people. I tried once being personable but not sharing much of my life with others---and they kept saying that I was "hard to know". So I opened up---and they didn't like me! I am very progressive and into natural health and eastern philosophies; they didn't have a clue and regarded me as alien-like (midwest in the 70's) My suggestion is to stay mysterious at work, and let them keep guessing and wanting to know more. Better than putting it all out and having them judge you by their standards.

[@caroc4327]

Also be honest with yourself, if you’re a bit awkward then that’s something you can work on. I homeschool and I know a lot of homeschooled kids. Some are just awkward because they’re parents are introverts. But socials skills can be learned. And kindness goes a long way.

[@resheaparker2725]

I had the same bulling issues at work and didn't know how to handle. I was never homeschooled. I didn't have issues in school cause I was friends with everyone. Best advice I can give is to not tell people at work everything about your life as they can use against you. Also your boss should be keeping bulling in check, but if not, you have to stand up to them.

[@wavynaturalista]

Don’t tell people your business at work. Period. Your story is YOURS to tell. Other people are not entitled to access to you or your business. Be friendly, be kind, but be firm with keeping your business to yourself. If you get push back, just say “I’m not comfortable talking about myself this much,” and then change the subject.

[@ashleighrose8115]

Wife with husband on a work trip reminds me a lot of myself, you can tell she is so sweet, but is also used to being a doormat, especially for her husband he's doing these things because he knows HE CAN and she'll just take it! Sounds like a super sweet woman with a good heart who trily trusts her partner, hope she finds a man WHO DESERVES that trust because it's not him...

[@CoffeeSA96]

The first caller’s husband seems like a person stuck in a teenage mentality. Too many people these days care about their desires over what matters

[@Master._._.Blaster]

Sounds more like he's sick of raising someone else's kids... But yeah, he shouldn't have gotten into this situation to begin with lol.

[@alyross2850]

@@Master._._.Blaster Sounds like one of the kids is his, but doesn’t live with them full time.

[@jborrego2406]

@@Master._._.Blasteryes lol an it turn out he has no control over them I bet she the mom don’t talk to my kids don’t punish them. There not ur kid an have deal with bio dad. Then oh you need to love my kids like is your kid give me money

[@show_me_your_kitties]

He is a step father to her three children from different dads. Pfft

[@debbielockhart7762]

​@@Master._._.Blaster100%. Not many young guys (and 33 is still young) want to be raising someone else's kids ranging from toddler to teenager. Yikes.

[@PracticalChristianWarfare]

Adultery is actually punishable in the military last I knew. It is against the law.

[@adirahvillarreal1378]

Kind of true. It's in the books but they're not really going to punish you unless the adultery really disrupts the mission/unit. Like maybe if you cheated on your spouse with a supervisor vs a random civilian that has nothing to do with your job. Or maybe you're already not a good airman/soldier etc. and they really want to kick you out then they'll go after something like adultery. Adultery is rampant in the military, if they went after it as hard as people on the outside believed then the forces would look so empty.

[@Maranatha-t9d]

I'm in the UK and I used to date a guy in the Army. He told me he had to stay on the base over the weekend instead of coming home bc he got in trouble and was in Army jail bc some equipment went missing that he was responsible for. One day he left his bank statement on the kitchen table and that same weekend he told me he was on base I saw on the statement that he paid for a hotel in London, restaurants etc.

[@lynngreen9637]

Llllloo

[@zeroounce8874]

Wow.. good you found out.

[@tamikaclementson]

For the bullies, if I were this mom I would lawyer up. Letters to the school and each family. Document everything. Start a go fund me to help pay. And definitely handle John’s advice of role playing and practicing. It helps, the child feels prepared and more confident.

[@fishmonger7020]

That’s insane. They’re kids doing kid things. Perhaps mom is projecting some of this too. She said she was bullied too.

[@shannamom6129]

But it's not. This girl has spiraled into depression and anxiety. When she tries to take her own life, then will the school step up? When girls bully, it is insidious and affects every aspect of her school day. And now with social media, it doesn't stop at the end of the school day.

[@danabaker996]

The mom of the bullied kid is weak. The Dad should get involved. Get the kid out now and confront the bullies.

[@wenchefauske6898]

Wear will this stop if everybody who feel their been hurt, bullied and discrimminated use the lawyer. Learn the child to fight to get some skills. If you change school their will experience the same.

[@gabsmarg4048]

“Being in those kinda situations is a mess and that’s not for me to judge from here.” From a survivor of assault, huge huge W for this man. Massive respect

[@julieann6094]

Totally sounds like he's checked out and agree wtih Dr. John that he is getting his needs elsewhere and that's why he's not at all concerned about you or checking in. You deserve better than this! He's revealed his character and for me there would be no turning back!

[@cindyhall4407]

All these stories made me tear up, especially the 3rd. I was once that girl. Healing from this is a long hard road 💔

[@fmillz]

Her husband told her straight out he felt unloved. She then proceeds to have an emotional affair. Speaking from experience, that crushed his soul. The one thing he craved, that she denied giving him, she chose to then give that love to another man. There’s no coming back from that. There were faults on both sides, there usually is with the situations. But at this point, she needs to let him go. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t fight for it. Let him go.

[@wolfpackwarriors]

Shendotn evem want to have sex

[@vaska1999]

How did you miss the fact that he's forcing her into sex acts she hates with the threat of committing suicide if she doesn't perform them?! 😂

[@jackierockers3552]

I also had a daughter who was bullied for just being different/ free spirit etc. This was worse in high school and we finally took her out of high school in her junior year. The bullying led to her self harming herself and also anxiety and depression and panic attacks. She has PTSD from an apt fire before starting high school. She had alot of changes in her life. We had financial problems. Lost our home etc. We had to move alot. After the fire we had to live in transitional housing/hotels etc. We had to move to another city for the final transitional housing. In conclusion she got her GED through a program with a junior college and graduated in 2020. Now in college. Graduates in 2025

[@marymorgan3244]

Yeah!

[@deamon506]

First girl each time she says something negative about her husband immediately tries to add context to mitigate it instead of just saying what is

[@heathergray9195]

Serious Pollyanna syndrome

[@knjmoorhouse5093]

The complication with bullying today is social media. It has a much farther reach and goes beyond physical boundaries of schools. Restraining orders and legal action are the way to go.

[@knjmoorhouse5093]

Taking legal action AND working on your child’s mental health, teaching him/her skills, AND strengthening his/her group of friends.

[@louisecamp5138]

Praying for Marie and her marriage.

[@vaska1999]

Praying she divorces him.

[@PrescottCaliberClub]

Every time I hear these calls about bullying I realize how severe my childhood trauma is. I hear so much about bullying and then when I hear the full story it’s always name calling and stuff like that. I was literally stalked and preyed on and violently attacked dozens and dozens of times. Followed home on the bus every single day. I was hit by a teacher. I was thrown across the field by the back of my helmet by a coach. I was hit at home. And I’m not downplaying anyone else’s trauma in any way. It just really illuminates how messed up I am and what I think was normal or not a big deal was a HUGE deal by most people’s standards. There’s nothing worse than bullying. It’s affected my life since childhood and to this day.

[@AlexandraVioletta]

Same. I was bullied from 13 years from the same people. Including nearly my whole family, except my maternal grandmother (She was an alcoholic Btw, like my parents.) Once my mom blamed me for blood stains on m, jacket bc a boy broke my nose and it wouldn't stop bleeding... So the bus driver said he couldn't let me on the bus so I had to walk 3 km (2.5 miles???) home with a bloody nose. No hugs, no help, just guilt tripping and the silence treatment. I'm still suffering. Btw at the age of 32 I was diagnosed with Asperger's

[@marymorgan3244]

@@AlexandraVioletta I am so sorry. I hope you find peace and love.

[@marymorgan3244]

I am so sorry. I hope you can recover from that trauma and find joy in your life.

[@PrescottCaliberClub]

@@AlexandraVioletta Ugh, it was SO hard. I will say that I have started EMDR therapy from a psychologist who learned it from the lady who discovered and developed it. It has been life changing around my abuse and bullying is on the list of subjects I want to work it around. It's like nothing I've ever experienced! And thank you for the kind words from everyone.

[@maridepp53]

I have been listening to John Delony’s podcasts for a couple of weeks and have gotten a lot from them. I wish I could have gone to him for counseling when my husband left me to be with a woman he was having an affair with (he told me it was 10 months but I’m sure he minimized that) Without going into our history I felt blindsided, though there must have been more signs than I even saw like coming home late about every night. We were married 31 years and two sons so I was hit hard by this. I was able to get through it and gain strength and confidence after working with a wonderful therapist for a few months. Listening to certain podcasts of Delony’s is reminding me of the hell I went through … and the way I came through it. I am glad I heard of him and grateful I’m on the other side of it over ten years later.

[@TheButterygoodness]

I was bullied at the same age and it was recommended that I change schools. Was a 1000% right choice made by my parents.

[@rarebird_82]

Regarding the woman with the workplace crush, and the man using emotional blackmail and suicide threats to force her into se× - she has CLEARLY fallen out of love with him. She's not attracted to him on any level, and he knows it, I've been there myself, once that spark has gone its gone and him forcing the issue by coercing and guilt tripping will just breed even more resentment. She needs to stop being a coward, clinging to him for security and hiding behind the "I dont want my kid to grow up without a father" BS - she is wasting her life, AND his. Woman up, walk away, you *both* deserve better ✌🏻

[@dancebrittany23]

I was bullied terribly in Middle School. Luckily the school threatened to kick him off the Baseball team if he did it again. Immediately he stopped. Problem solved

[@khaleesiy.7886]

To the mom’s who kid was being bullied I don’t recommend giving the bully a compliment. This is going to sound harsh but This girl needs to learn to take inventory of these girls and get verbally harassing right back. The unpopular truth is that you have to make yourself into a cactus 🌵 with a bully and be someone who is painful to mess with.

[@vaska1999]

She should move her daughter to another school and enroll her in a martial arts program. They're very good at instilling self-confidence, which this girl is bound to need a lot of help with.

[@pegzpat]

Let him go. If he doesn't want to try, you cant force it. Its up to him to do his part of the fighting. Its much better being alone than to be with someone who tells you they dont want to be with you, and you're not worth fighting for.

[@monkeybanana9269]

Sometimes bullies are bullies because the parents are bullies too. Some parents are even bullies when they're young.

[@catspact]

Jen from Omaha… you are worth so much more. I watched my mom in a loveless, manipulative marriage and she deserves a world that my father can’t provide. Provide that for yourself, your kids, your grandkids.

[@mamakitty6549]

If your husband spends a week away with no communication and then comes back to say "yeah I don't wanna come back".... He doesn't want to come back. Believe him and tell him to leave. He doesn't want you. Also... He definitely is or wants to cheat on you.

[@mightymouse1005]

The "vibes " would be divorce papers

[@vaska1999]

🎯

[@SherryEllesson]

This girl's husband is a child, and he's taking advantage of a girl who's willing to be "the cool wife." She wants so badly to be cool and understanding that she's swallowing her instincts. Sickening. (1st call)

[@stephaniec0625]

Yes

[@thecowsaysmoo6084]

"Make peace with yourself." John said 2nd story. I am putting that on a Tshirt. Spot On and thank you. That is powerful.

[@DebbieBennett-p5v]

So the wife of the guy that says he's away for military training or where he has to go away even one weekend a month, well you need to verify it! I was dating a guy and he was saying same thing and he was MARRIED. Was I angry because I don't do that and he knew it. Didn't last long because I get an email from his wife asking if I was dating him. I told her I has stopped because I felt something wasn't right. So glad I got put of thar and she divorced him. Guys who are in military and do this should have consequences with their retirement! That would make them stop

[@stephanieturner6912]

There is a consequence, at least for officers. They can get dishonorably discharged on conduct unbecoming.

[@jborrego2406]

Women do it too

[@sarahalderman3126]

Agreed. I had the exact same thing occur in my early twenties with my first fiancée. Thank God I felt that things weren’t right and broke off the relationship. Turns out he was “dating” other women at the same time. There should DEFINITELY be significant consequences for these people, regardless of their gender/sex, they should probably have to forfeit their retirement. This should actually apply to all marriages affected by infidelity.

[@michellesimmons3150]

@@stephanieturner6912 its extremely difficult to prove and get them in trouble. You have to prove the affair affects the unit. chances are more likely they will brush it under the rug and just transfer one or both. sad but the chain of command absolutely covers for these people.

[@valeriecook7216]

My daughter was bullied at school for years. She did not tell me about this because she was afraid of retaliation. Bullying is real. I want to say she is a lovely 29-year-old woman today. The bullying impacted her greatly. We had three hospital visits where she wanted to take her life. I will not go into details Because the story ends well. It does not always end well. Please please please listen to your daughters cries for help. Some of them are silent and they’re easy to miss. It only takes one to miss. I want to hug you and I want to hug your daughter and I want you to know that you can get through this, please try to get through with this little impact on your daughter. Big hugs from the Texas girl who lives in Florida now.

[@Naturally-curious]

For the mom with the bullied kid. This is my recommendation., which, by the way is to try to help your situation and also because I did the same thing with my 12 year old girl recently and it is working more than great. “Help your kid to be in shape, by both of you eating veggies and proteins three times a day and a fruit or a day. Register her in an activity. And tak we e her to tutoring.” These three things will raise her confidence, self-esteem I know, I know, you’re gonna say it’s too much money, it’s too much time, it’s too much energy. But that is the answer that you’re looking for.

[@tinam761]

True … those things can have an actual effect on her 🧠 brain chemistry and alleviate depression and anxiety as well. It may be expensive but the alternative is a greater cost.

[@TheShortykorte]

This is solid advice! Eat well together, work on proper hygiene together, find hobbies, make friends outside of school!! (It doesn't always have to cost money either...but try church, youth group, park district, community center, dance, tumbling, martial arts, music, painting, community gardens) For several years my parents were sending me to an expensive private Christian school and as it turns out, I had a MUCH better experience at public school. So just see what's out there and what your options are.

[@KellyMartin0902]

That doesn't stop bullies from being bullies. Kids are cruel and we need to teach them how to deal with it.

[@vaska1999]

And you think that's going to stop the bullies or make it easier on the girl who's the target of their malice?!

[@sp8667]

I love hearing these. Marriage is so difficult. He just tells you reality. I love it although its hard to hear these tough stories.

[@liesascott5414]

I used to be a matchmaker. People (mostly men) who chose jobs which take them on a regular basis away from the relationship are NOT committed! They want to be single and in a convenient relationship at the same time. If you want a true committed relationship don't chose someone who will be "single" on and off on default. Committed relationships are based on the desire and the need to be physically PRESENT in some ones life on an almost daily basic. Being married does NOT mean for everybody being committed!

[@rkeppel4243]

About bullying ... my 6 yr old in kdgtn was bullied by a disruptive child that the teacher could not control. The teacher and the school counselor both blamed my granddaughter if the troubled girl hit her by saying things like, "You know you walked too closely to ____." My granddaughter had to see the nurse several times within the first six weeks of school. Finally the principal agreed to change my grand's classroom and she loves her new teacher!

[@joeycrowder7748]

I travel for my work and I can totally relate to Dr. John's feelings of it.

[@Raina430]

Marie Marie please get away from this loser immediately. I’m so sorry this happened to you. And from my heart I just want to say, before you have precious kids and make that your life make sure that you don’t have past unresolved trauma, make sure that your partner is grown up, that you have financial stability, time to spend the hours and hours a day you need to spend with children, that you’re not doing a full-time job and then coming home and expecting to have energy to do the hardest job in the world. Sending out love to all of you. John is wonderful and thank you all, this is a place of learning.

[@micheller6804]

I was bullied in school. I finally decked the biggest bully. That helped considerably. The school was aware of what was happening and took zero action, so I wasn't punished. Later, another bully actually tried to run me off the road. She became a relationship counselor who talked to local news about the damaging effects of long-term bullying. 🤦

[@cynthiathomas5754]

Been there. Don't let this man mess with your brain. He is buying time to schuffle money and get you to not ask for what you deserve in the divorce.

[@carolannstevens5814]

This girl in 5th grade bullied me and threaten to beat me up all year…. Months later we met out back of the school and I kicked her butt. That ended it.

[@AlexandraVioletta]

I started bullying back at 7th grade. I'm German, so they've already bullied me since kindergarten... I was bullied 13 years straight from the same people. The teachers and nearly every adult participated.

[@wolfmoz2232]

Best advice I ever got: NEVER talk to the other parents!!! Demand „Results!!!“ not „Action(ism)“ from the school. Why? Bullying is a social thing - including the teachers. Actions without results demonstrate the schools incompetence or worse, that it is the teachers who keep the system of abuse running (unfortunately mostly cause of fear or their own issues). Parents of bullies are everything from helpless to aggressive gaslighters. Don’t bother. PS: When the school asks you, what they should do. RUN. When they don’t have a clear plan, what to do, when their actions don’t get the right results. RUN. When they don’t „like“ your absolutely warranted demand for clear results. RUN. When they don’t like your „tone“ after years of them being useless. RUN. And when they react defensively about the pure fact, that you „demand“ results, calling you unreasonable or „too demanding“. RUN and then try to get them fired. But run first. All the best!!!!

[@Westernkoala]

I had a similar ex to Jen. The main I left was BECAUSE I had a child. I didn't want him growing up in a home full of mistrust, hostility, volatility. The attempted suicides told me he could not provide a stable environment for my child, and being a single parent was a much better choice... given the two.

[@mightymouse1005]

I doubt this guy would actually hurt himself, I think it's just guilt trip manipulate and emotionally controlling

[@shamanllama]

The fact this second caller fooled Dr. John into thinking SHE is the victim is WILD to me.

[@michellesteffen9761]

But the problem is that the schools don't know where the line is to intervene. When bullying crosses the line into assault, the schools still do nothing. Imagine if your co-workers were just allowed to assault you at work.

[@jennifert2953]

But what does the school do? The parents of the bully threaten legal action. Public schools have a legal obligation to educate. And every parent believes their kid sis bullied, or perfect. It’s parents that produce these monsters.

[@amandabrynn6853]

That’s an excellent point about the co workers….

[@GolfandGrammarGrandma]

Schools don’t want ANY litigation so they do the minimum. This often seems like giving in to bullies. Parents of these kids are usually bullies too. 25 years of watching this. Sad, sad, sad. Quick story. Parent of special needs student had to move in with their parents. Her child was mainstreamed. She was scared for a repeat of bullying. Caring teacher helped the classmates accept child’s behaviors. Made sure child felt accepted and safe by working through situations with classmates. Not part of daily curriculum but the teacher cared about the well-being of class. New student thrived. Mom was delighted. It takes a village. It takes caring teachers who are willing to go the extra bit.

[@vaska1999]

In Canada, schools are legally obligated to provide a safe learning environment for all students. This includes an environment free of bullying and harassment. I've just checked online and it seems that you don't have the same legal provisions against bullying in the US, which in effect favours and protects bullies. You need to change that.

[@christophertuten6772]

My comment to the Omaha caller, I agree the husband should not have pushed you into sex using the suicide excuse. A sexless marriage is almost always doomed to fail, if you don't feel it, then it's either get help for the problem, or the marriage becomes a roomate situation. Sex is important, and we shouldn't have to beg for it.

[@vaska1999]

I also assumed at first that it was a sexless marriage, but as John got her talking, the picture changed to something very, very different. You're missing the fact that he's demanding specific sex acts she finds a total turn-off and threatens suicide if she refuses to perform them.

[@karencunningham5642]

I cried listening to her call. It's too close to home for a couple of my daughters.

[@bayleeboulem1569]

I want to chime lightly on the bullying issue since I am a school administrator. The first step is the parent of the student being notified and a course of action with no names and a promise for an end date by a set time. The second step is interviewing the child being bullied to hear what she’s saying and if it is classified as bullying. Then you get names of the students, what they’re doing, and how she feels. Finally you pull students who are possibly bullying ONE BY ONE to do separate interviews and hear what is going on and build a case. If you find bullying you follow your school handbook and it is illegal in most if not all states and they should be suspended based on the severity and parents need to be notified by the evidence. And a huge reminder- parents I know it is so awful to hear your child being bullied but it is never appropriate to pull both victim and aggressor(s) parents together to talk about the bullying. The school administrators are the middle men and they will never allow you to meet with the parents to discuss this. Consequences need to be put in place for the aggressor and interventions to aid any emotional or physical distress needs to be given to the victim. As always if you feel this inadequate you can file a complaint with the superintendent. I hope this helps 💜

[@vaska1999]

Those series of steps make no sense.

[@vaska1999]

I'm astonished by the sheer illogicality of the series of steps you've described. Surely you should start with talking to the students who's been bullied (or, to be legalistic about it, alleges bullying) so as to ascertain if any actual bullying and/or harassment is taking place!

[@stacyridgell5254]

Omg... I'm so glad I listened to this. This exact same thing happened to me. To hear you give this answer just released a pain that I have kept as my personal shame. Thank you!!!

[@charlottestraub2254]

Hey John, I like that you talked about how the child being bullied could learn skills to deal with them. We need to teach our children to advocate for themselves. I am a therapist, and I've role played with young children, teaching them the words for bullies. "I'm sorry that you're having a bad day, but I (and my friend) don't deserve to be bullied (yelled at), so I (we) are going to go over there (are going to play tether ball). When you are ready to have a good attitude (be nice to us), then you can join us." This has helped a few younger clients, when using these words. They learned to stand up for themselves, set boundaries with the bully, and sets in motion for the kids to be friends after the bully thinks about the situation. Young children usually would give a bully a second chance to be a friend, if the bully treats them like a friend. I know how bullying gets worse as they get older, kids get meaner with their words, if not taught. The situations get harder as kids get older, even to the point when the child getting bullied may feel suicidal. When parents role playing different situations with their children in the comfort of their home, this is a great way to learn the words to deal with: bullying, peer pressure, how to speak up for a friend, say no the drugs, how to deal with unwanted touch from others, etc. This helps your children to know you care about how they are treated, and that you have their backs. I tell my clients; 1) Try to use your nicest words to stop the bullying behaviors, 2) Get help from a trusted adult, and 3) Talk to someone about that situation to process how it worked, and if it could be handled better next time. Life is all about learning lessons. Teach your children how to communicate respectfully, yet being an advocate for themself, it will stay with them their entire life. Bonus, you and your child will bond during the time together.

[@Anabee3]

This is the most valuable show on social media- except maybe my favorite pastors- but even that's debatable bc I get the same from my local church/Pastor. There's no counsel like Dr. D. What a massive blessing!

[@lifewithlulu1183]

My kid gets bullied twice and I’m taking action. Abuse is abuse. 3 years? No….no way. I’m okay with my daughter punching her every time the bully opens her mouth in front of her.

[@fishmonger7020]

Yea that mom has no killer instinct and n o way to teach it to her daughter. She obviously struggled with that too.

[@daCubanaqt]

@@fishmonger7020 Exactly. As she kept talking, I’m like no way. It took her two years to find one of the bully’s address? I would have been at those kid’s houses as soon as possible. This mother was bullied and doesn’t know how to respond or teach her daughter how to respond. The daughter isn’t going to be able to deal with criticism when she’s an adult. The mom is expecting everyone else to solve this problem - the school, the bully’s parents, the police. Mom needs to step up and I’m glad John is telling her she needs to teach her daughter how to react. Not sure how I agree with giving the bully compliments, but I definitely agree with the daughter learning how to respond and set boundaries for herself.

[@vaska1999]

​@@daCubanaqt You need a safe learning environment in the US. Schools in Canada are legally obliged to protect students from bullying and harassment.

[@rachelrodgers8717]

My son was being bullied and it was escalating fast with one kid especially that started to be violent with him and the school essentially told me their hands were tied (even thought the principal himself had to pull this other kid off of my son while he was pummeling him). I took on a second job and got him into another school and it has been the best decision EVER. Two years ago I was worried he would wind up suicidal bc he was so depressed and terrified to go to school and now he loves school and even makes b honor roll. Do whatever it takes to make your child safe, it is worth it!

[@lyndafinnell2336]

Time to change the locks and not let them back in. Call the 1 800 divorce attorney. Done. Get the vibe your married he is not. The decision has already been made. Time to get on board.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Identity call: There's no good vs bad people. Everyone does good and bad things. Even a serial killer could be a loving dad to their kids, and a saint could be rolling into an emotional affair. All we can do is accept we made a mistake, we're not perfect and learn from it.

[@tmi4507]

Why do married men with multiple kids cheat on their wives and family? Like bro, you have a family at home. You’re tired? You chose this damn life man. Maybe like don’t get your wife pregnant or have kids.

[@gambers20001]

Technically they are his step kids. Except for the youngest that he has been the father figure since she was the baby.

[@gambers20001]

He is still a jerk

[@tmi4507]

⁠@@gambers20001 Why does that play a role? I have a step dad and he considers me to be his son. I understand the whole biological versus stepchildren, but this man chose to accept the responsibility of fatherhood when he married this woman. You don’t just walk out on your family like this because you’re tired. Like after a point you made the choice. You know what you’re getting into.

[@tmi4507]

I am just saying my own gf has visually seen 3 separate married men swiping on tinder and they all have wives and kids or hell they’ve flirted directly with her. Like these are married men with children. They chose their life.

[@tmi4507]

@@dabd8175 That’s a nice opinion you have based off no evidence or facts.