The Most Unfortunate Names in Sports

In 1883, a 25-year-old catcher for the Buffalo Bisons of the National League stepped up to bat seven times.
In those seven plate appearances, he recorded zero base hits and struck out four times, and walked just once. He never played in the Majors again.
That man’s name, was Tony Suck. Yes, Suck. And he really sucked, as demonstrated by a
.157 batting average, 29 errors, and -1.0 wins above replacement.
There are some professional athletes that can’t escape the shadow of their own name, and some that can rise above the irony and carve out a decent career for themselves. Whether they suck, shart, or just trickle a little bit.
Today we’re going to learn about the most unfortunately named athletes in sports, and that’s coming up, right after this.
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[@musyarofah1]

The fact that this video isn't sponsored by Manscaped is beyond me

[@keyboardwarrior327]

Fun fact, Dick Trickle won NASCAR's Rookie of the Year award. He was 48 years old at the time.

[@dustykh]

More fun facts about Dick Trickle, during the 70s he was a late model racing barnstormer, winning an estimated 1200 races. He probably made more money than Richard Petty at that time, who was thankfully never nicknamed Dick Petty.

[@hawker7488]

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

[@rexsexson5349]

Damn straight. Oh yeah you ever see Mike Hunt?

[@kvltizt]

Dick Butkus is the perfect name for a snarling slab of defensive nightmares destroying pre-Tuck Rule quarterbacks. He definitely made that name work out just fine.

[@tjanderson8800]

Butter Johnson you know he had to grow up tough with that name.

[@SteveSmith-ty8ko]

TJ Anderson He probably got into his fair share of fist fights.

[@kwakerjak]

To be fair, he could have chosen to be called Richard if he wanted.

[@joeylawn36111]

Someone made fun of Mr. Butkus' name - Once.

[@PlumReviewer]

“Hi I’m Dick Pound” the first thing I thought of when I saw this video

[@eddietran5803]

apparently there's actually a guy named dick pound, he's a canadian swimming champion, and the vice pres of the international olympic committee

[@AJ42K]

@@eddietran5803 it sounds so wrong but look at his net worth.

[@davidcopeland5450]

How does Ha Ha Clinton-Dix not make the list lol? I’m shocked.

[@suNn.K.O]

Ha'Sean has a silly name, but I wouldn't call it unfortunate.

[@ayesp6188]

@@suNn.K.O I would

[@pdawg193]

Same for Fanny Chmelar

[@firefox8505]

The real question is how did Dick Butkus (pronounced butt kiss) isn’t on this list...

[@chesscomsupport8689]

@@suNn.K.O Oh, that's a name? I thought it was a Monica Lewinsky quote.

[@Maxville2]

Urban Shocker is a sick name

[@buckfuttler2877]

How did you leave out CHUBBY COX???

[@eggsngritstn]

"Tongue lashings from middle school bullies." I'm dying. WHEW.

[@eggsngritstn]

"Should be guarding 3rd" -- too good.

[@Radman1889]

Here’s an unfortunate name for FivePoints: Daniel Jones. Good night everybody!

[@DepravedCoTApologist]

Or Dave Gettlemen

[@rockvilleraven]

Years before Ben Gay, the Cleveland Browns had a player named Fair Hooker.

[@yonathangonzalez6670]

7:47, for a split second I thought “Wrap Up” was another athlete’s name.

[@nathanstroud2223]

That would be a great name for a terrible tackler.

[@AJ42K]

I thought the same thing too. AHAHAHAHAHAGAGA

[@bayareasportsfan04]

Same lol

[@16ktsgamma]

Most unfornate names in sports. I got one Daniel Jones.

[@bryce975]

16ktsgamma and all the people that have anything to do with the giants

[@rolyrod69]

Rusty Kuntz, “Shouldn’t you be guarding 3rd?” 😂😂😂

[@jaydirt316]

You missed my all time favourite name - Lucius Pusey who was a college football player. Now goes by Lucius Seymour (why would you change your name).

[@andykrawczyk7179]

Dong Dong, Olympic gold medallist in trampoline.

[@jyashin]

Not if you pronounced his name properly. Unfortunately there is no English way to express the third tone on his surname...

[@bobobingus3155]

Trampoline?

[@1963Iota]

No Dick Felt? I thought for sure he would make this list

[@juslikemo804]

...you hit it every time you bless us with a dope vid 5...No doubt yous a true 1...Point.Blank.PERIOD.Thank you bro.

[@nolans3026]

The puns are reDICKulous... I'll show myself out

[@alex36burbidge]

This would be the perfect video to be sponsored by Manscape...

[@DragonKazooie89]

It seems you have to have a weird name to a be a professional athlete with weird/odd last names like Trout, Gurley and Clowney.

[@elliottryan13]

Idk how some of these poor bastards made it through life. I guess with your approval they may deserve a "DAM SON"!!!

[@stevenloeffler1266]

I was watching this video during science and right as you mentioned Dowanna Bonner we started talking about the hardness scale for rock and etc

[@yusaidit5311]

Miroslav satan better be here

[@buckfuttler2877]

Who played for the devils!

[@phoenixgamer3480]

@@buckfuttler2877 Which makes perfect sense since Satan is referred to as the Devil by people that don't want to call him by his actual name.

[@buckfuttler2877]

@@phoenixgamer3480 thanks. Captain obvious! 😉

[@ThePolerbearproducts]

I have a fictional hockey player who was the son of two Toto superfans. Naturally his name was Toto. Toto Edward Brown. Helped bring the Kootenay Ice in the WHL to the Championship but lost to the Peterborough Petes in the Memorial Cup Final. He was later drafted first overall in the first round by the Lighting in the 2013 Entry Draft. Then my PS3 took a shit so we don’t know what happened to him. We can assume he racked up penalty Mins and probity got suspended once or twice because he’s a big hitter. Was known as “The Brown Bear” by the media.

[@Tubeite]

I used to have a Tennessee Volunteers linebacker called Boo Nasty.

[@ThePolerbearproducts]

Tubeite I can imagine the commentators saying “What a Nasty Touchdown!” If he ever got one. Lol

[@ThursdayNext67]

They missed the two greatest names ever, Lucious Pusey and Ivana Mandic.... yes, they're real

[@busyrand]

The humor in this totally caught me off guard!!! The first one with "Rusty" made me pause the video because I couldn't stop laughing! Well done.

[@darrellludlow]

This may be one of your best videos yet. Comedy Gold!

[@tylermiller3407]

You forgot someone with a GREAT jumper... Richard “Dick” Barnett. Had 14 seasons in the NBA and then became a doctor. Legendary man to forget about!! Don’t forget NFL player, Clinton Dix and NBA player Rudy Gay!! Either way, great video! Keep it up!

[@joeevans4308]

I was sure expecting Doug Fister on this list. Even in his absence I was not disappointed.

[@askeletonpoppedout7047]

The Doug Fister / Charlie Furbush trade will live on in infamy

[@beamerball666]

@@askeletonpoppedout7047 did that actually happen?

[@askeletonpoppedout7047]

@@beamerball666 big time www.google.com/amp/s/www.sbnation.com/platform/amp/2011/7/30/2305632/doug-fister-trade-charlie-furbush-casper-wells-francisco-martinez

[@Trail1524]

@@askeletonpoppedout7047 I was just about to bring that up, until I saw your post!!!

[@omegablack80214]

Heres one for ya, German skier Fanny Chmelar, talk about a name.

[@collinnapper3908]

Good content as always. Keep it up!

[@daviddechamplain5718]

Smoking while racing. Now that's cool!

[@CYCLONEFAN88]

Real bada*s

[@insertcolorfulmetaphor8520]

God bless you Mr. Dickshoe! I loved saying your name as a sprat playing little league...

[@joey69d]

Almost 9 minutes of dad jokes and word play. This is why I subscribed.

[@ryancarter2959]

Speaking of unfortunate names one of the drum majors at a competition my highschool hosted was named Ryan Klitz. It was hard not to laugh when the announcer said the name

[@jimroberts9327]

LMAO I love the dad jokes and puns in this video. I had to stop eating my lunch because I was liable to spit it out in laughter!

[@shaynejonze99]

The puns, the great puns. Great video

[@jgmail98]

Men you must have enjoyed making this.

[@doctorsechs]

this is the best list you've made by far

[@brentgranger7856]

When I was in navy boot camp, I met a fellow recruit named Swallows. I never did say her by her rank and name together. Of course, I would later meet Petty Officer Spitz, whom did not take to those jokes very well while he was a seaman.

[@xdgaming70]

The last word of this comment somehow makes this funny

[@jimmykaisermusic]

7:49 I thought Wrap Up was someone's name

[@77braedaddy77]

Can’t imagine how much fun you had making this video

[@txmagyar32]

This deserves to be in the KZbin hall of fame. Holy shit what an amazing piece of juvenile but absolutely LOL hysterical humor.

[@Pwnzistor]

"Top most worstest" You're killing me smalls.

[@marcsenase]

How about "Chubby" Cox

[@buckfuttler2877]

Finally! How can you leave him out???

[@leohabs0774]

i thought wrap up was one of the names lol

[@Cynon]

Dick Trickle was actually a lot better than his NASCAR career indicates. The White Knight (seriously his nickname) made a living racing in Wisconsin, winning so many races in the midwest that it's speculated that he won at least a thousand races in his career. Will Power won the Indianapolis 500 in 2018. Another race car driver, Tiago Monteiro's middle name was Vagaroso. In English, Vagaroso translates to "Slow guy". He made it to Formula 1, which is often considered an achievement on its own.

[@Pfsif]

STOP, the puns are killing me.

[@thepenguinsrafterme]

I’ve watched A LOT of sports videos. This might be my favorite

[@PyroFalkon]

I'd count the double entendres in this, but my calculator doesn't count that high. :D Awesome as always, FivePoints.

[@jackie165]

Chuck Long, quarterback for the Lions in the 90’s.

[@lovelessissimo]

This video was so good.

[@brandonhedrick2802]

I almost corrected you on Rusty Kuntz. Glad I decided to keep watching because that would have been awkward. Thanks for getting it right tho 😂

[@jaywashington2196]

How did you record this i couldn't stop laughing

[@BEASTMODEJR-xf5ky]

Albert pujols doesn't look bad but it's pronounced poo holes.......

[@gmwdim]

2:30 Funny enough, that spiky-haired guy next to him is also named Wang. His name is Wang Hao and was 3-time silver medalist in the Olympics.

[@charlesnelson8564]

There was a Job fair at my college and one of the guys for a company was Dick Moneymaker(he do go Richard but still)

[@reily6488]

Your pun game is on point this vid.

[@Bajablast48]

Harry Johnson

[@kozlov13]

Missed an Australian sprinter called Lorraine Crapp

[@jakecave9570]

When i had MN Wild half season tickets on the concourse by my section there was a poster about St. Paul Fighting Saints, and thats how I found Dick Paradise in Minnesota

[@NikeTubeStudios]

I was more interested in hearing Five Points bring up Albert Pujols, Lucious Pusey or Chubby Cox, but apparently not this time.

[@henrysteiner8136]

3:33 you were trying so hard not to crack up 😂

[@coreyperdue1966]

This video needs more views

[@imayinzer272]

I was waiting for Ha Ha Clinton-Dix

[@williamcantrell6392]

The Misty Hyman puns were just great

[@paytoncollins1917]

I caught that "lookin out my back door" reference. Slick

[@baltimorez-wad7281]

Your jokes on this are just too much. I can't stop laughing

[@njk3498]

The puns though........

[@DampFrijoles]

I think we need another one of these. There are so many other good names for consideration.

[@bva4677]

Forgot the best baseball pitcher name in history... Former reliever Grant Balfour

[@nmarbletoe8210]

win

[@CalebRoden]

“Yeah, I might not be as good as my dad but a least my name ain’t Dick Trickle” - Dale Earnhardt Jr.

[@imagedezach]

I don't mean to be a party pooper, but Liqin = lee cheen

[@JonPITBZN]

"Yost infected Kuntz." You had to go there? (But I loled)

[@Chang8e]

The trickle jokes were great

[@--_--IMP--_--]

"...it just kept on lasting, for dickades..."

[@mikepuppetz9]

Dick Butkus (actually pronounced "buttkiss") was one scary, mean, violent SOB. Although if my parents named me Dick Butkus I'd probably be a scary mean violent SOB too.

[@timdecoursey287]

Best CCR references

[@nicktrelow2338]

Dick Trickle is a nascar legend.

[@omarsahibzada5117]

The puns are absolutely amazingly perfect

[@dadahdee]

Ralph Pierre "Pete" LaCock, Jr. was drafted by the Chicago Cubs in the first round (20th pick) of the 1970. He also played for the Royals as well. FYI, Pete LaCock is the son of Hollywood Squares host Peter Marshall.

[@paulbee285]

For someone who loves hockey I’m surprised you didn’t include Mike Peca or Wacey Rabbit

[@zinho9169]

fivepoints really had the jokes on this one lmao

[@TheFaithfulAtheist]

There was a guy who played for the St Louis Cardinals in the 1890s whose name was Jack Glasscock. Not even making that up. In fact, I'm pretty sure (without looking) that there were a few Glasscocks in MLB in those early days.

[@GGRTL1]

How did "Ha Ha Clinton-Dix" did not make the list? LMAOOO

[@christopherr3676]

This is perhaps the greatest video on KZbin. I cant stop laughing

[@FivePointsVids]

Christopher Reilly thank you my brother!

[@christopherr3676]

@@FivePointsVids on the koontz thing it put me in mind of this kzbin.info/www/bejne/b4eme4mQZ65ssLs You'll appreciate it bud lol

[@lonewolf2point069]

Oh god the puns...make it stop, I'm gonna die.

[@davidlieber5807]

If Texans dB Dee Virgin isn’t on here ima throw a fit

[@stephenmason9527]

One of your finest achievements

[@FivePointsVids]

Thank you brother

[@Mottly.]

goddamnit these puns r killing me

[@DepravedCoTApologist]

I was so happy that the legend Dick Trickle made this list

[@joeydoink-doink742]

Bruh🤣🤣🤣🤣 too much to quote 😂😂😂

[@romiarkan450]

There's a new candidate after this week, a Dutch soccer player by the name of Jizz Hornkamp. He dropped four goals to lead a come-back victory.

[@jgmail98]

wait for Dam Son to go pro

[@sominboy2757]

Nicky Butt was a soccer player who played for the england national soccer team

[@alexperkins5753]

The Denver Broncos have Jake Butt, who is a tight end.

[@Augfordpdoggie]

greatest channel ever. with love from africa

[@FivePointsVids]

Thanks Augford!

[@Augfordpdoggie]

@@FivePointsVids thank you. I am always entertained and it takes my mind off the misery of the world and politics and war and blah......

[@RocknTroll42]

Urban Shocker also had a heart condition where he couldn't sleep laying down. Interesting guy to say the least.

[@preettygoood7774]

how many pitchers are named Walker besides the one that I know of?