the most unhinged parents on reddit 🫠 r/AITA

[@gnocchidokey]

If someone says "I'm concerned your daughter isn't getting the care she needs" and your response is "how dare you criticize my parenting"... I'ma criticize your parenting bro. Your attitude sucks.

[@PrincessGalaxia9]

And the fact that they weren't even the first to tell them really shows how neglectful they are.

[@moustik31]

Esp. if it's not the 1st time, people remarked on her daughter's hair. Whatever she is doing isnt working.

[@jaredjjacobs]

Why do parents get to say " how dare you tell me how to parent? " ? Like no one is taught how to be a parent and people just think because they popped out a child they're gonna know everything about raising it and refuse any criticism

[@PrincessGalaxia9]

@@jaredjjacobs pisses me off so much. People are genuinely trying to help and their own pride keeps their kids in suffering.

[@yourfriendlyneighborhoodsim]

@@gnocchidokey I’m not saying the mom is right, but this is an empathy moment: Imagine you’re at your job and some random person who you don’t know comes into your office and says “Hey… so I glanced at that report you submitted and… I don’t really think you’re doing your job well. I can help you if you want!” What would your initial reaction be? Irritation? Shock? Anger? Or would you simply go “oh, I didn’t realize I was bad at my job, sit, tell me more!”? Maybe you would eventually get to that response, but initially you’re likely to get upset. It’s worse for parents - parenting well is their job AND they most likely LOVE their kid, so anyone challenging how good they are at it is likely to get a bad reaction at first from most of them. Considering multiple people have mentioned it and it’s something very specific, the mom should learn to listen about something that will improve their child’s life. Just wanted to point out that parents getting upset at criticism isn’t a farfetched scenario as it’s something we can all relate to. Edit for clarification - my wording was confusing it seems.

[@thatbloodynutella2328]

I'm a white Brit married to an Arab and we have a son who has tight curly hair. When he was about 6 a black woman, who was younger than me, passed us on the street, commented on my sons hair and recommended a product to use to accentuate his curls. I thanked her and said I was grateful for her advice and went and bought the hair product. She was right!

[@TheBaylin]

A father stopped me in a store once to ask what I use for my hair because his daughters looked similar. I wanted to cry because I still had a long way to go and honestly nothing I've ever used has worked for me forever. Him asking was so sweet tho and I did show him what I was using at the time. We should never be too prideful to accept help or advice!

[@Liz.ardman]

Oh thank god I thought I was going to have to eat lunch alone with my thoughts

[@Mia-xg1wm]

love how u commented this three times 😭

[@megjournals]

so real, i figured i'd just make my dinner anyway and sat down to eat and see the video, lol

[@taylorh6736]

Fr

[@themckenzies]

Oh no no just skip lunch at that point (kidding)

[@krissyhenderson4089]

Same

[@--sql]

I think one important detail in the last story was that the American mother was in England with her daughter. A lot of people there are going to point out that she's not pronouncing her name how it's typically said because of the geographical proximity to Ireland. OP wasn't even being confrontational or combative.

[@imsmolandangery4274]

Like if the a&e staff read the child's name on a chart they aren't going to say Grain. I think the story is probably fake because you don't go two years without that coming up unless they were just off the plane

[@agent__berry]

@@imsmolandangery4274I feel like it’s not necessarily false, because I could see the mom kindly (or at least, not as aggressively) correcting the nurses/someone who just mispronounced the name because they’re looking at the spelling of it because names get mispronounced all the time-however, the OP specifically said that it’s SUPPOSED to be pronounced a different way and that may have been what set her off rather than mispronouncing it generally, if that makes sense? /lh

[@imsmolandangery4274]

@@agent__berry fair point but if Irish is a living language and the name is so common that the Redditer could not be the first person to tell her how it's actually pronounced

[@KNYD]

I know several people who were embarrassed because they held wrong information for far too long and nobody corrected them. I am one of them. When they realised what the right pronunciation or fact was, they all said why didn't anyone correct them before. Nobody was offended, just a bit embarrassed because they managed to get to their adulthood before they found out the truth, and they had used the wrong pronunciation or false fact so many times without realising how odd it sounded to everyone around them. All this said, I am from Finland, born and raised. I have a German last name, but it I pronounce it in the Swedish manner. I know what the German pronunciation is, and I will never pronounce it like that. I have corrected people, even Germans, when they pronounce my name in any other way. Some of my extended family pronounce the exact same name differently, they follow the Finnish pronunciation.

[@ruintherenaissance]

As a man named Sunny, I think the kid's name is sick. I get compliments on my name all the time. The parents should be proud that he has such a sunny disposition! ☀️

[@Poppihin]

Lucky!!!

[@Lionesse-z41553]

It's such a great name!

[@honeysweetbunbun]

I think the kids family must be asian because they do have very old school concerns about how their children will be viewed in the working world once they graduate high school.

[@Izzy_jam]

I think it’s a lovely name, it’s bright and joyful.

[@shytendeakatamanoir9740]

Honestly, that's a really great name!

[@ShursGarden]

Honestly the Grain story wasn't even bad. They *complimented* the new pronunciation, and explained what the original was when prompted. This was just the mom getting embarrassed and lashing out because of that.

[@Raven74408]

Exactly my thoughts. It reminds me of when you tell someone they had spinach in their teeth and they get mad at you because of their own embarrassment, even tho you did them a favor.

[@wrmsnicket]

Honestly good to have this kinda interaction before the kid knows anything. As if they stick with their own pronunciation, this is something the kid is going to hear their whole life. And the parent being aware and showing the kid how to respond to such arguments (this being a poor example) is going to help them normalize such conversations. Was OP an asshole? Sure. But the kid is gonna be running into assholes like OP constantly. It’s not really a negative interaction imo.

[@Holli0130]

For some reason that's the story I can't stop thinking about lol

[@Mandavee]

If the daughter was white and her hair was unbrushed and matted, thats a call to CPS. Its neglect. Its the same with black chidden too. Mama needs to get off her pride horse and help her daughter

[@Mandavee]

Both my parents are immigrants (Mom Italian, Dad Mexican) and they wanted me and my sister to have very American names. So we are Amanda and Ashley. I think its cute that our extended familes put a lil spin on our names. My nonna calls us Amandina and Ashlelina.

[@alesbianhotmess]

Eh idk. I had matted hair at no fault of my parents. I refused to let them brush my hair and would scream at the top of my lungs because my scalp was so sensitive. If my mom did make me sit down and have it brushed out I wouldn't do it without a ton of detangler in my hair. I still have a really sensitive scalp but after my mom discovered wet brushes my hair got so much better. Those things are so easy on my hair.

[@ImSoTired-ws6ee]

I am a white Mexican on my dad's side and German/Irish from my mom and while my mom did her best to maintain my hair as a child she absolutely had no clue how to deal with dense curls enough to let them thrive. I wish someone stepped up during my childhood and helped her learn how to actually care for it. Would have saved us a lot of crying and hairbrushes 💀

[@tp2005]

It's a HUGE red flag for the kind of parent that woman likely is. And sadly it's pretty much inevitable that this adopted girl is gonna grow up to have all kinds of issues around her Blackness and identity. I hope that story isn't real, but I also know that plenty of people have been majorly screwed up by being adopted by people like this. There are whole communities around people who were trans-racially adopted children, specifically due to stuff like this.

[@rxe997]

@@Mandaveeaww amandina is a chocolate cake where i came from

[@ephraimjohnson8146]

"If her daughter was white would you-" Yes. If her daughter was white and she wasn't taking care of her hair, I would. I have. I babysit a girl whose mother would have her hair thinned and shaved so she wouldn't have to brush it; I spent literally *hours* at times detangling that girl's hair when I was helping out at her dad and stepmom's. She has naturally very curly hair for a white girl, and she could spend one weekend with her mother and come back Monday with mats starting to form - *any* hair can be neglected, and needs to be cared for. DUH.

[@ARoseRisen]

Yes!!

[@ceoofeternaldamnation]

ugh i was that kid. i’m white but i’m the only person in my family with super curly hair, everyone else’s hair is pin-straight. no one really knew what to do with it so now i’m trying to figure out how to take care of it and style it in college 😭

[@ephraimjohnson8146]

@@ceoofeternaldamnation Well, at least her dad knew what was up. She got curly hair from him - just no one on her mom's side believed them because he was bald before she was born!

[@kiwibanana7590]

Besides like not to be mean or anything but isn't it lowkey harder to neglect straight hair 😭 straight hair only needs brushing and maybe conditioner, how can you fuck that up?

[@ephraimjohnson8146]

@kiwibanana7590 fr...you have to brush it like twice a day... that's really it. I mean, you **should** do other maintenance tasks, but fundamentally, with straight hair I'm p sure all you have to do is brush it regularly to keep it from knotting & matting.

[@walnutsrcool]

For the last one they didn’t say “that’s pronounced wrong” they literally said “oh that’s cool how name pronunciations change across time and countries!” Then said the traditional way of pronouncing it but said that the new way was lovely. If I was the mom I’d find that interesting and a nice thing to know about my Irish heritage

[@essendossev362]

yeah, that, the mom fully projected so much into what the person said. He was positive about both pronunciations all along, just offering up a broader perspective on the name.

[@usagibun7639]

yeah I'm confused why people think this person just said "your kid's name is pronounced wrong" when that's not what was said at all. they complimented it?? people can think it's "backhanded" or whatever all they want but... you could say that about any compliment?? what a huge overreaction to someone just trying to make conversation

[@shayleesarmiento6124]

Yeah idk why people were saying that they “felt compelled” to say the name was pronounced wrong, they just said it was an interesting pronunciation not a wrong one lmao

[@amandamandamands]

I saw a version of this and in the updates OP said that they live in an area with an Irish population, the child is going to hear people say the Irish pronunciation all the time at school etc especially if someone sees the name written before meeting her. It is going to become an issue as the child gets older.

[@m4gg1tz]

tbh the mother could've played it off as a nickname if she didn't want to admit to unintentionally or pretending to intentionally Americanize her daughters name. "Oh, she can't pronounce it so we call her Grain" and then you fix it before anyone else knows and take it to your grave.

[@SolarPlantPrincess]

My thoughts on the Hearing-Aid story is that the grown man refused to be reasonable at every step of the way. He was told to not throw someone into a pool, with very good reason. He didn't listen to being told no. He was told he needed to pay back the damage he caused. He said no because the damage he caused was so much higher than he expected, instead of being more determined to make things right. And at least allegedly refused to provide a proper apology for the damage. He was told he was going to be sued. He continued to refuse to seek a proper remedy for the damage he caused. He was then taken to court, and the fact that it ended with a ruling from the judge means that he refused to accept any of the likely multiple attempts to settle the case without a ruling and allow them to hash out a solution between themselves without the court enforcing a punishment. He then ignored a court ruling after he was told he legally owes them the $6k He then because of all of his own choices up to this point was forced to have his wages garnished because he was refusing to pay back his legally obligated debt on his own. Like yes it's awful that because of this he had to drop out of college and had to move to a cheaper place. But he could have just tapped out of those consequences at literally any point prior to this. He as a grown adult caused thousands of dollars in damage, refused to meaningfully apologize or make it right. Refused to work out a mutually agreeable solution. Refused to listen to a legally binding court ruling. And wants to be mad that they won't just let it go that he caused thousands of dollars of damage because he wanted to "prank" someone and refused to listen to them sternly telling him no. Like at what point does this stop being an honest mistake made in the heat of the moment while trying to be goofy, and becomes a full grown adult refusing to take any responsibility for his actions and their consequences as though he's a child?

[@essendossev362]

Exactly. And honestly, I think someone this intentionally obtuse is never going to learn a lesson from this. At best, it's just a matter of holding him accountable, that's all they could do.

[@cats1970]

My ultimate conclusion was that he wouldn't have been more financially stable without this mandated reimbursement. My sister's ex husband is like this, which is also why eventually child support moved from just paying what he owes to the judge shorting his paychecks in advance. This man always has debt because he refuses to take responsibilty for his actions. He constantly gets speeding tickets, posessions repoed, landlords kick him out and he loses jobs faster than he finds them. Still he spends thousands on shit he doesn't need and international vacations. His personality makes him poor, not the 6k he has to pay his cousin.

[@hnichole]

Exactly, I have zero sympathy and I think D'Angelo is generous to even give the guy the benefit of the doubt. The cousin quite literally brought this upon himself at every step of the process. I think one of the Reddit comments said it best, where they were saying that this is one of her actual SENSES that she uses to navigate through the world.

[@totempolejoe1]

Couldn't have said it better myself. You ate with this comment 🔥

[@sativadiva2389]

I'm also gonna come out and say it because I'm not noticing anyone else commenting on it: dude is 25 with a baby with his girlfriend, not wife, living in a one bedroom? It sounds like this guy was already a massive loser making poor life choices long before this hearing aid fiasco

[@erukaseven]

Hearing aids are insanely expensive, the guy didnt even fucking care that he destroyed expensive medical equipment. What if it was an insulin pump, or even a phone in someone's pocket??? I have never been a fan of people hucking others in bodies of water, especially when that child cant swim yet.

[@bluelily3514]

yes and suppose the water was not swimmable, that could've left a trip to the hospital or even death.

[@palomathereptilian]

There was a massive discussion in the late 1990s in my country, a med school freshman died after he was hucked in a swimming pool by med school veterans during their initiation... Think about those fraternity initiations, but there are no fraternities so it's the veteran students (generally in their last year) vs freshman students The freshman didn't knew how to swim, the pool was one of these athletic ones so it was VERY deep... Unfortunately no one was punished (3 men were charged for his death), but this was the event that permanently changed how those humiliating initiation rituals were approached by police and by universities in Brazil

[@THEMINDCASTLE]

I almost drowned as a kid that way when I was 8 years old at a pool party with my classmates. It traumatized me enough that I couldn't bring myself to learn to swim until I literally took a trip to another state at the age of 20 and met a friend I was close with who taught me over the course of a week. Don't throw your kids in pools.

[@MoonchildDontCry]

The craziest part is he didn't even apologize properly. Wtf. That person was being kind enough to wait for that guy to finish education but nope!

[@caitlinmarie49]

Mine are $3,000 base price. For basic ones. I got upgraded ones so they are $5,000. Like I didn’t choose to lose my hearing from Covid but here I am with super expensive hearing sides my exhusband (technically me but it was billed to him) is STILL paying off since 2020 it’s insane.

[@joelman1989]

My wife’s a NICU nurse and one of the babies she took care of, a black baby girl, she noticed her hair was not being taken care of at all. Which, it’s not always the nurses top priority in these situations but this baby had been there for months. So she called the mom and asked her how to wash and take care of her hair. The mom was very appreciative, she had products for her to use and instructed her on how to use them. and the mother was so grateful she hand wrote a thank you letter for her and expressed appreciation for her taking care of her child as if she was her own because she couldn’t be there. I know this isn’t exactly the same thing… but I am sorry, I can’t help but be proud of my wife and always find an excuse to praise her.

[@hockeygrrlmuse]

That is so sweet and I wish more nurses had the time & the presence of mind to do this! And hell yeah I always love to see wife appreciation in the wild 😂❤

[@joelman1989]

@@hockeygrrlmuse thanks for understanding! I get a little self conscious because I don’t want to come across as a “wife guy” lol. But, she’s great and I’ve kept this same energy even when we were friends.

[@hockeygrrlmuse]

@@joelman1989 Aw yeah, I do try to give "wife guys" the benefit of the doubt and assume they mean the best even if they don't communicate it right. But your story is great & worth sharing for more reasons than just praising her!

[@moustik31]

I think, people are forgetting the centuries of violence from English-speaking people toward Irish people and that it takes A LOT of ignorance and entitlement to remove a name from its cultural roots and act all offended, when people assume the name was given in good faith. Irish isnt a "dead language", this child will sooner or later encounter people, who know how her name was intended to be pronounced.

[@frozenyogurth]

YES. This right here! And it's not like it's impossible to learn irish, hell there even is a duoling course on Irish. If I was the mom I'd be damn glad that someone told me when my kid was only 2, because then I could probably sitll do something about it.

[@bratatouille]

I really don't understand how someone decides to name their kid after their great grandma, and then they don't even bother to find out how the great grandma's name was pronounced. I could maybe get it if you somehow didn't realise Irish isn't spelled like English and had to quickly decide on a name or something, but how do you not come to think of that at any point afterwards, and why would you choose an Irish name if you don't care about the language or culture??

[@cailinanne]

OMG thank you! YEA! éisteacht a chuir fearg orm!! Which is fecking (bad) Irish for “hearing that made me angry!!” I knew exactly how to say her name the moment I read it!! She was projecting a WILD amount since she felt wildly silly in that moment for never having looked it up I guess?? My name is an Irish name that people can’t pronounce, and I love it, and I don’t care if people can say it at first; they will learn. It’s an exposure thing. Like you said, *Irish is its own language* and it’s *not dead* much to the chagrin of the English empire 😁 I’m getting married in less than a week and the entire (druidic) ceremony is going to be in Irish! That being said, it’s fine if she doesn’t say the name the “old world” way. No one in Ireland cares if it’s changed, they might just be confused at first and call her by the OG pronunciation upon reading it 🤷🏼‍♀️ (Ps. just a little bonus if you want to hide from “the algo censor”Irish is definitely not getting flagged in comments or captions. You can say and type whatever you want in Irish! 😂)

[@sidoniedelisle]

@@bratatouilleSomeone might choose an Irish name purely because they like how it sounds and the images it evokes. That’s it. Stop gatekeeping names

[@StormSought]

Yeah there's a certain colonial bent to just changing an Irish name because you feel like it, and of course it was in A&E, which means they were probably in England (the other countries understand the concept of a minority language) so it's kind of just straight up taking Irish and pronouncing it wrong, like the English do with everything. I SERIOUSLY doubt the Irish great grandmother would have appreciated that.

[@nause-a]

some cultural context for the last one: the anglicisation/ bastardisation of irish words and names is a really sore spot for a lot of people here due to english colonisation. For me personally, my name is one of the last connections i have to what should have been my native language, so seeing irish names mispronounced by other people in the anglosphere is really cringe inducing. To anyone else it wouldnt seem like a big deal but op is most likely irish and coming from that perspective

[@liliebilie]

Many Americans have an obsession with Ireland, love to claim Irish heritage, and yet they know nothing about the culture, land, history, or the people. It’s incredibly cringe. They could do so much more by actually educating themselves and helping keep the language alive

[@pennyforyourthots]

​@@liliebilie I think it's because while Irish and Italian immigrants in the US were historically discriminated against, they were largely fully assimilated into anglo-american culture by the time of the civil Rights movement (because it was politically convenient for them to be considered white). You might still see some grandparents or some small lasting traditions, especially religious ones, but culturally they have become anglo-american subcultures. I think there's at least some sort of lasting cultural memory that they aren't anglo-american, but their cultures have been so thoroughly scrubbed by decades of mistreatment that they don't even really recognize the oppression of their ancestors anymore.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

​@@liliebilie Some Americans are doing that, but most Irish Americans immigrated over 100 years ago and the only remaining legacy is Catholicism and maybe some superstitions. Like my grandmother immigrated from Finland as a child. At her knee I learned some of the language, some lullabies, some stories, and I took weekly saunas. But I know that for my kids and their kids being "Finnish" would maybe be a last name, a lullabye, and a sauna. If even that. So for a lot of the Irish diaspora here, they've assimilated. Even if they stuck to marrying Irish American families, the culture has mostly become American. If anyone wants to learn more about being Irish than a few superstitions, a religion, and pride in a last name, they have to seek it out.

[@imjustdandy9799]

The Grainne thing is sticks out to me because Gaelic has such a fraught history of suppression and is now a dying language. If she wants to honor her heritage she should care about saying it right

[@arthurcarnegie9144]

That’s what I was thinking. It’s culturally insensitive to just pick a name from a language you don’t know and can’t speak but then give 0 respect to it. I feel that this is especially so with Gaelic because it’s a dying language. I feel like the least you can do is pronounce it correctly. I don’t think it’s assholeish behavior to point that out. For all that poster knew, the mother could have responded well to it and been open to learning more. If the poster described the event accurately, then the mother was way out of line to become that hostile over a literal fact.

[@fmadiva]

Thank you! I was so annoyed that no one pointed that out like, this is why education is important. The Irish were also colonized by the brits and had their language suppressed. Really we should be as sensitive about Gaelic as we are with other native languages that have endured colonizer oppression.

[@Loxalair]

Also like. If you're naming your kid after your great grandmother, why would you want to mispronounce that? Mispronouncing it is disrespectful to the culture as a whole and also to the great grandma specifically. Ask your grandparents how to pronounce it, because one of them should know how their mother's name was pronounced

[@bratatouille]

Yeah if she really wanted to name he kid after her great grandma then she should probably figure out how that great grandma's name was pronounced. Like how do you not do that before choosing a name for your child 😭

[@AnnyKeyz]

I thought the same thing.

[@mimi.dixon.b]

12:19 these are consequences for his actions. If someone is setting a boundary with you and you physically do something to them that they have repeatedly told you not to, if having to drop out of college is the consequence for that… You can be sure that he’s never throwing anyone in a pool ever again.

[@TheGrossDemon]

Seriously, sad that his plans got ruined, but he needed to learn his lesson. Trying to ruin her hair is fucked up enough, but he also ruined something they needed to live a normal life, plus who even said they could swim! If bro had to drop out of college to learn not to violate boundaries so extremely, then that’s just what he has to deal with.

[@idontknowwhatimdoing6296]

plus it sounds like OP took the cousin to court twice bc they refused to pay the first time. like it didn't have to go that far but he refused to do anything to help or apologize

[@TheBaylin]

100% agree FAFO as they say. And I believe that she genuinely would have worked with him if he apologized at all, talked about a payment plan, didn't do the stupid action in the first place.

[@caylenwinchester7438]

Not to mention that it’s hearing aids that were damaged, not headphones or a phone or something. That’s something that op depended on to be able to hear & I can’t imagine how disorienting it was for them to be thrown in the pool & have their ability to hear affected so abruptly

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

Yeah but as an aside Pretty fucking convenient fir these companies that make hearing aids that aren't even waterproof. Planned obsolescence at its finest.

[@biacosta4184]

"If the kid was white would you say the same thing"? Well if the kid was white with textured hair being neglected by the mom... PROBABLY YES. But when the daughter is black there are more layers to the conversation, for sure. It's much more than "just hair"

[@WatashiMachineFullCycle]

It's definitely not the same thing at all, but I am white with curly hair and if neglected it will ABSOLUTELY mat to the point where it's easier to just cut it all off. It was even worse when I was a small child. I would absolutely hope somebody would step in and give my mother advice.

[@mentalmondai]

i genuinely dont understand what that comment is implying

[@frxsita_3]

i don’t care what race a kid is, if their parent has them running around looking like a mess all of the time and not taking care of them.. it’s in anyone’s right to say something about it. kids cant advocate for themselves so i’m glad there’s people in the world who will.

[@eve3455]

@@biacosta4184 I look extremely white, have “normal hair” that was heavily neglected as a child, and yes. Family did speak up on how it wasn't properly cared for. It's genuinely just a normal thing to do. Race shouldn't dictate whether or not a child receives the correct individual care they need.

[@ev3islost]

@@mentalmondaiThey were trying to play a race thing which at the end of the day it literally just depends on the child’s texture and if they know how to deal with it. Especially since they adopted her.

[@thetherrannative]

With the Grainne one - just _ask the kid._ "Hey, honey, I found out that your name can be pronounced multiple ways! Which one would you prefer?" and go from there. 2 is old enough (and young enough!) to probably be thrilled at the opportunity to choose their own name, so to speak. I know I would have loved that!

[@ZbJeeBies]

i feel the same way! my name is technically pronounced two ways because in grade school i made up my own and have been using it since then. my mom/sisters call me the way she (my mom) intended at home but when introducing me to others, she uses my pronunciation ☺️ it feels right

[@thetherrannative]

@@ZbJeeBies W mom, honestly.

[@umbreonic766]

my name has two different pronunciations (english vs spanish) and i love that, because my dad grew up bilingual in PR. i use the english pronunciation in day-to-day but when spanish speakers say my name i’m always happy, & my dad uses the spanish pronunciation when referring to me in spanish. our surname is very very dutch too and does NOT follow spanish spelling rules, so it’s very different as well. (add in a puerto rican accent and it’s unrecognizable LMAO)

[@maxdujmovic6250]

my (birth) name has a number of different pronunciations and for as long as i went by that name my own PARENTS each used the pronunciation they preferred. i liked my dad's version better, so that's what i generally told people to use, but it wasn't a big deal. the fact that any pronunciation sounded like the same(give or take a vowel) spelling may have helped

[@bbqchezit]

I'm on board with hearing aid girl tbh. I live my life in such a way as to not cost ppl 6k randomly and in such a way as to not assault ppl by throwing them in a pool. Like, and life is still hard... Bro chose not to pay up after a court order. The court process does take into account ability to pay. So dude ruined his own dreams

[@peiithos]

destroying mobility aids is also like destroying someones legs. and who knows what destroying a hearing aid couldve done to op and op's career. a 6000 dollar surprise expense expense is crazy no matter how much you earn.. if he was civil and took responsibility he wouldve been able to stay in college.

[@bbqchezit]

@peiithos yeah. I would be so pissed if someone deafened me for (however long it took for a replacement). But even so... If he had taken a second, apologized and offered a realistic payment plan, we'd probably still be chill It IS serious but pple have this war mentality when really, just being vulnerable for a second and owning up does so much more in the long run

[@RealSlowLike]

As someone who is disabled, you'd be surprised how often people will damage or destroy medical equipment without a second thought. I stopped using my wheelchair because people will grab it and move you against your consent, the last straw was when a guy jammed my chair with his bike bending the spokes and he just took off leaving me stranded. I now use a cane and just never leave the house and even then I've had multiple people grab my cane. I have a messed up walk and every couple of months a stranger will approach me and say "what's wrong with you?" Not even paraphrasing, legit quote. There is this culture of dismissing medical equipment as unnecessary and disabled people as less than. I hope someday it changes.

[@jazlynlopez6409]

@@RealSlowLikewow im so sorry about all of that :( I don’t understand how people can be so cruel smh.

[@whowantstogame]

this!! i'm a diabetic and if someone, like, tore out the tubing of my pump as a funny prank, i would be LIVID. i don't really see how this is any different.

[@SapphireSeahorse494]

A very common form of ableism that makes me very frustrated is not taking our needs seriously. Like, I hear about people that think it's funny to take away or damage someone's disability aids disturbingly often. I don't really see the whole thing about having to drop out of college as a punishment? also, even though he didn't know about the hearing aids, his motivation for throwing them into the pool was to intentionally ruin their hair. he's definitely an asshole. the fact that disability aids are expensive is even worse, though.

[@ajames3062]

There's an episode of greys anatomy about white parents and black hair care and Patrick Dempsey keeps bringing his adopted black daughter to the nursery with neglected hair and Chandra Wilson's Bailey always acts shocked and almost offended and finally at the end of the episode she says "you are white but your baby's hair is black. No one cares you have a black baby, they care you ignore her hair" or something like that.

[@ArianAlbert]

I remember that episode. The throwaway line that Meredith did know how to do Zola's hair but Derek didn't kinda pissed me off. Like, y'all couldn't work on this together?

[@hwoods-kg1jf]

I've been a huge fan of Grey's Anatomy since it premiered in 2005 and I do rewatches every once in awhile and I'm currently in the middle of a rewatch and I just watched that episode yesterday lol "Zola has a kitchen!" Zola is so cute!

[@rainebows]

21:42 oml this is so the mother projecting, saying her child is embarrassed when the mom definitely felt it instead

[@teeayteeayetc]

I am pro taking family members to court - you shoulda listened??? You can’t afford to assault people, don’t assault people? (Don’t assault people at all, tho)

[@NecaylPerry]

Yeah I agree. I was assaulted in a much more serious way by a family member (no longer pursuing litigation atm because of other priorities) and one of the things my trauma therapist really drove home was that the consequences of you standing up for yourself are not the fault of you, the person who was assaulted. That guy ruined his own life by ignoring someone’s “no” and then continuing to put his hands on OP even if it was “just a joke”. The line of thinking that OP is somehow responsible for what happens to his partner and kid or should have thought about what might happen to them before pursuing legal action is one of the main things that kept me quiet about my abuse for over ten years. If this line of thinking hadn’t already been drilled into my head at age 9 I might have gotten the justice I deserve and felt empowered to report before it was ‘too late’ for the police to care. Guilt over reporting my own family member for what they did and how it has ripped my entire family apart with almost everyone taking his side is one of the main issues I have had to unpack with a trauma professional. It’s not OPs fault or problem that this guy had to drop out of college. She told him no and he continued, full stop. That said, I appreciate the sympathy D’Angelo has for the uninvolved people affected by his actions. However, the pool-pusher should fully be the one we are “blaming” for the situation and consequences, not the person who was pushed. On the note of “what lesson is he learning?”, the point of legal action isn’t necessarily to teach a lesson, it’s to pursue justice/compensation. I highly doubt my own perpetrator would stop being a creep if I won a legal battle against him. He would still be a creep, but I would have justice. I don’t know that the pool-pusher would learn some big lesson about not touching people without consent, not ignoring a “no”, or even just learning to not push people into pools. But that’s not OPs problem, she should still be compensated for the damaged property regardless. I know the details and seriousness of the situations are apples and oranges, but I feel it’s an important perspective to keep in mind that the victim/affected person is not to blame for what happens to the person who made a bad choice and they can and SHOULD stand up for themselves.

[@Lionesse-z41553]

This.

[@bratatouille]

I started feeling bad for him when they said he had to drop out of college to be able to pay for the hearing aids he broke, but that stopped as soon as I realised he didn't even apologise or try to negotiate on the 20%. He chose to drop out of college instead of admitting he did something wrong. At that point he can only blame his own stubbornness 🙄

[@jaynestrange]

@@bratatouille Yeah, this was a situation he could have avoided. First, don't throw non-consenting people into the pool. Second, if he'd just said "I'm so sorry, how can I make this right with you?" then he wouldn't be in the shit.

[@Lari-lc3zq]

@@bratatouille In any case, bro can always go back and finish college. Lots of people have to stop for a year or two. It’s not the end of the world. Hopefully he will never be so stupid again.

[@Narangarath]

Ok, so here's the thing about Grainne. This (supposedly) took place at an ER, where if the visit is for the kid, they'd probably be called by her name. It would be so much less embarrassing to have a stranger gently point out that the pronunciation was atypical (plus telling you the regular one) than to have the entire waiting room stare daggers at you when you finally figure out you've been called 8 times, but you had no idea because you didn't know how others would pronounce your kid's name. If this had been almost anywhere else I might have a different opinion, but in the presented context, definitely NTA.

[@Sophie_Cleverly]

I agree but I also don't think an English person would definitely know how to pronouce it. My mum had a friend called Grainne and as a kid when I read her name written down I thought it was "Gry-een" 😆 we also have a lot of nurses from all around the world so it's anyone's guess what pronunciation you'd get. They generally always say first and last name together so hopefully that would make it obvious

[@Phosfit]

He DID make 1 bad choice after another. Even after being ordered to pay by the court, he refused. This led to more extreme payments per period. He could've had it easier and been a good person, helping the person he harmed.

[@Narangarath]

This. He f*cked around at every turn until he ended up finding out the hard way.

[@shytendeakatamanoir9740]

Like yeah, if I had been in this situation, I would have apologized immediately and repeatedly and promised to do everything to pay my debt eventually.

[@TheGhostofAbigailMills]

Exactly! It's hard to feel sympathetic or sorry for the guy when he brought it all on himself and then kept making it worse.

[@SATURN-ow]

I still don't think his *entire* life should be affected. It sounds like OOP was comfortably able to afford a new pair (IE comment about them out-earning everyone in the family). Like, yeah, it sucks and it's a pos move to throw someone in a pool and act dismissive when they tell you you broke their expensive accessibility device, we agree on this, but I don't think it's something you should have to drop out of college for. Especially when the victim could afford a replacement on their own and didn't *need* reimbursement. This one incident is (presumably) causing two adults and a child to grow up in poverty, that's way out of proportion considering OOP was able to get a replacement on their own. I get it's the principle of the thing, he didn't apologise and I understand that's hurtful but I don't think people should be forced to drop out of higher education and work two jobs based on "principle". If OOP couldn't afford getting another pair and suing was the only way, I'd understand but this wasn't the case and now a kid has to live in poverty. No one's learning their lesson, three people are just poorer.

[@xXSPADEGG]

Whether or not OP could afford a replacement is entirely irrelevant.

[@A.The.H.]

If someone did that to my sister, who uses hearing aids- absolutely not the a-hole. That guy was told multiple times to stop, then he fucked around, and now he has to pay the price for his decision. He was WARNED/TOLD to stop. Being sympathetic towards the cousin is not deserved, nor is the family; this is ableist trying to find a way to put the blame on the person needing hearing aids. If someone did this to me and a medical device for my diabetes, I'd do the same thing, too. He fucked up; he really doesn't get to call the shots after he went and did something he was told not to. He also refused to pay, so; he fucked around again and then found out again. No sympathy for ableist behavior and people refusing to take accountability after their fuck up.

[@kaibaiarrio1299]

Only people i feel bad for here are op and the kid of the cousin bc the cousin was a dipshit who ended up destroying medical equipment

[@Lionesse-z41553]

As a fellow disabled person, I wholeheartedly agree.

[@gerilyn]

@@kaibaiarrio1299100%. I hope that the kid grows up to learn from their fathers mistake at least 🤷 I’ve lived through similar stuff with family and sometimes there is no way to get back stuff like that without court orders.

[@blinkyinky]

As an Irish person, I'm so impressed with how well D'Angelo actually pronounced Gráinne. And it shortens to the Irish word for love (Grá). My name is Aisling (Ash-ling) which means a dream or vision, Irish names are cool

[@Lionesse-z41553]

That is such a pretty name! I've never known how to pronounce it, so thank you!

[@LunarEleven]

Irish names are the most beautiful, all of my favorite ones are just so difficult to pronounce though. I love the name Aisling, at least the correct pronunciation AND the English phonetic pronunciation are both beautiful! I love Siobhán (shi-vawn) and Saoirse (ser-sha). My name isn't even unusual but my mom spelled it slightly differently and people constantly mispronounced it, so when I named my child I wanted to avoid that. People act like you're being a pain in the ass or nit-picking when you correct them. I'll never understand that. A person's name is a huge part of their existence, it's not asking too much to say it correctly. I can't even imagine how it is for people with foreign names that are actually difficult for people to pronounce where they live.

[@Aisuzuni]

You have a beautiful name !

[@nala3055]

Yesss I was so impressed too! I also love the name Áine, it's just such a satisfyingly pronounced word

[@Ebrill_Owen]

I love Irish names! So pretty!

[@XtheLostGen]

Before cousin threw hearing aid person in the pool, he was told in no uncertain terms, that he did not have consent to manhandle another person's body. D'Angelo's right. We've normalized throwing people in pools. Try to imagine taking the pool out of the equation. If someone grabs a person on the street in the way that you would before throwing someone in a pool & you take away the push & the pool, what are you left with when someone clearly says stop or let me go? It would be criminal assault. And if the person doesn't let go when asked it could be aggravated assault. If her family is so upset about the cousin's financial hardship, they can all chip in together to pay off the $6K rather than blaming the victim.

[@BuoyB]

I feel like when a lot of non-black people hear the terms “black hair products” or “black skin care” and such, their mind goes to like “oh they think they’re special, buying some weirdo ancestral recipes over regular commercial store stuff” or they just imagine something with a black bottle made by black businesses blah blah. Like no, they’re actual products… designed FOR the health of black hair, which factually needs different products to maintain and boost their health. We don’t advocate for them just to be different, we actually need them or else our hair will dry out throughout the day, break off, get frizzy, etc etc. we can’t just put a 12-in-1 or L’Oréal in our hair and call it a day. Getting called out for it is not an attack on your love for your child, it is a concern for your child’s hair health and could easily lead to your child hating you in the future when they learn why their hair looks so cracked (if they haven’t learned to hate it themselves).

[@shankeduu]

well said😊❤

[@eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee8]

yes and these products are extra expensive !!! For no reason !

[@angelikaskoroszyn8495]

When I hear about "black hair products" I think "I wonder how it would work for my hair" Most of mainstream products for white hair don't really distinguish between different hairs types which is a shame. White people have straight, wavy, and curly hair. I don't think that they should be treated the same way

[@ewarrior9776]

Curl or wavy white hair isn't the same as Black hair. One of the most beloved Black hair care company sold it to a giant conglomerate. They changed the chemical formula and it began to dry out Black women's hair.

[@gerilyn]

@@angelikaskoroszyn8495Hair type really depends on genetics and for a period of my life as a Celtic person with a variety of curly and wavy hair, traditionally “black” hair products were the only thing that worked for me. After puberty, my hair thickness changed and I now need different products. There certainly is a huge issue in affordable markets in regard to good options for non-straight-haired humans, but it’s really more important to think of hair products less for race or ethnicity, and more for what characteristics your hair has. No matter where someone is from, physical characteristics and what you need to treat is the #1 thing. If you’re genuinely curious I’d highly suggest googling how to test hair porosity and types, then going to a local beauty business for suggestions. I live in a small place and we have a decent diverse selection of products to choose from.

[@LoraK31]

As someone who wears an insulin pump, being thrown into a pool is a nightmare scenario for me, so I'm 100% on that OP's side. You never know what they might have on their person and what you might be destroying! I can sympathize with the financial situation, but the cousin could have offered to pay what he could afford or help out OP in some other way to make up for it. If he's going to completely ignore the issue, he has to know there will be consequences

[@Inkinhart]

Yep. I also wear an insulin pump and a dexcom, and while I get them on the NHS, the thought of having them be unexpectedly ruined is the stuff of nightmares. If someone threw me in a pool and ruined them - I'm pressing criminal charges for assault

[@Alex-cw3rz]

I'm from the UK and use hearing aids, they are obviously free, but if you break them or lose them you pay for the replacement which is £50, just to show how ridiculously overpriced it is in the USA. I have never broken or lost them was just told that when I was transferred over to adult, because children, get their replacements for free. Batteries are free as well whatever age.

[@DoinItForJohnny]

Yeah, I hate our system, it sucks. You'd think maybe the upside of paying so much money would be dealing with less bureaucracy or something, but nope, that doesn't seem to be the case either. Worst of both worlds, yay!

[@mobanstudio3695]

"they are obviously free"😭

[@ghostguru9156]

For the hair one: The amount of times I’ve gone to a hair salon after being like “I have really curly hair can I please have someone who knows how to deal with that?” And they give me someone who goes “I have curly hair too” and they definitely do not and wind up ruining my hair 😭 the amount of people who cut hair that just choose not to learn how to cut curly hair is WILD

[@yourfriendlyneighborhoodsim]

…No one else thought the reaction of the grain mom was completely unhinged??? “You’ve ruined her self esteem!” All that about challenging her very existence?? MASSIVE overreaction considering all OP said was “A modern pronunciation to an older name, cool!” And then explain what they meant when asked. I know names are a sensitive thing (people have mispronounced mine my whole life) but the way she claimed her child’s life was ruined because of OP was completely therapist-worthy.

[@chib_bibi]

fr !! And people were projecting HARD under that one too. OP never said the mom was "wrong" or needed to change the way she was doing things, she just informed her that she personally was used to another prononciation. That doesn't make the one she chose invalid or anything... Names get spelled and pronounced differently all the time, it's not that life-changing. Not to mention that the kid was 2??? That child is not gonna remember that interaction for sure... It's definitely just her pride that got hurt and she needed a strong enough statement to make OP feel uncomfortable as well.

[@elise441]

yeah if anything that child is getting her self esteem destroyed because her mother points out that she should be embarassed

[@frozenyogurth]

Also: The kid is two, if proper Irish pronounciation is important to you, just,,,, start pronouncing it correctly??? Like, damn, it can't be that hard. Seems like a major overreaction on the mother's part out of embarrasement. Don't give your kid a name from a different culture without doing a minimum of research. And if the name actually came from a relative, and people call that relative also with the american pronounciation then your kid is gonna be fine with it as well.

[@roskiiart]

Imagine if an Irish person heard that mom call her child "Grain". The verbal smackdown would be hilarious to watch ngl

[@ealusaid]

Grain mom was definitely unhinged. And I think that though OP definitely could have shut up and not caused the whole issue, if that lady is going to be in or near the UK for any length of time, she's highly likely to run into, you know... Irish people. Who will be familiar with the name Gráinne and how it is pronounced. In Irish. So it's probably best to rip off the band-aid sooner.

[@uniraffesaur]

The “would you ask that question if her daughter was white?” question sounds like it’s coming from someone who doesn’t understand that there IS actually a difference between how you care for average white hair types vs average black hair types

[@bobbiannrs880]

But also, if I saw a white kid with mats I would ABSOLUTELY check in and make sure they know how to handle it?? I know those scenarios aren’t 1:1, but both are not taking care of your kid’s needs.

[@Sootielove]

Also, white people are 100% going to recognise if a white kid's hair is matted and messed up compared to a black kid. I accidently put my mum in danger of inspection because one of my habits as a child was tangling my hair, other parents/teachers noticed the rat's nest of a hairstyle, and reported it

[@bluerosemaiden5945]

The hearing aid story reminds me of a similar story about a girl who almost lost her eye. It was her birthday and her friend smashed her face into the cake that had wooden sticks inside. The stick went into her eye but thankfully it didn't cause permanent damage and she recovered. The two stories aren't exactly the same but in both cases, these pranks can cause serious damage.

[@MedicineForNormality]

RE: the hearing aid post, (if it is true), imo it's the equivalent of someone destroying someone's wheelchair and brushing it off. Even if OP "out earns" the cousin, the cousin shouldn't have f-cked around and found out when he threw the OP in the pool. He made no effort to rectify the situation, forcing OP to go the legal route.

[@sholem_bond]

So if someone acted like the TSA, basically. This stuff happens to disabled people all the time. It's just never supposed to be a big deal for some reason.

[@Samson16436]

Yeah the least he could've done was committing to pay for it as much as he could and if he didn't have enough money right away he could've borrowed from someone and/or made a payment plan to his cousin. Basically just taking accountability and responsibility after your best effort. Obviously he didn't have a lot of money but he still could've and should've made an effort to set things right. Instead he chose to ruin a family relationship, put breaks on his future career and create a shitty economic situation for himself, his gf and daughter.

[@siobhan98]

As a Canadian with an Irish name she was 100% in the right for mentioning the name was pronounced wrong. If that girl goes to Ireland to get in touch with her roots they will absolutely tear her apart with that pronunciation. Ignorance will always come back to bite you and you can tell someone has a fragile ego when becoming aware of their own ignorance makes them so angry.

[@tallhotsexy]

I think it’s fine to make up your own pronunciation for names that aren’t culturally significant for anyone, but taking names from other peoples culture and choosing to mispronounce them, especially as an English speaker to the Irish language is modern day colonization.

[@ThePietjandorie]

I don't see the issue with op telling the name is pronounced differently in Ireland and the mom's reaction if true is very extreme, but, why would it be okay for people to tear down the girl for the way she would say her name "wrong". Like? If she grew up being called Grain and indentifying with that name, than that would be her name. How would that justify someone making fun of her, to tell her her name is "wrong". That sounds like asshole behavior to me? It's very normal for people to think a name is said differently in different countries, and to them it is an old family name so the mother probably didn't feel like she had to look up the "correct" way to say it. That mother loves that name for her kid, and the sounds she associates with it. OP was very respectful in telling her, and honestly, it shouldn't be an issue, it should just be information. Like "Oh, apparently the name is said differently in Ireland, alright" that new information shouldn't have to dictate how that name is said for them from now on. I didn't understand how those things can't coexist, names change all over the world all the time. If that girl is called Grain and people see that as a valid reason to laugh at her, those people will be assholes.

[@siobhan98]

@@ThePietjandorie I agree with your sentiment, but if you take the history of the Irish people into account, they do have a right to be upset when their names are wrongly appropriated like this. They have had to fight very hard for their language and culture with centuries of colonization and attempted cultural genocide. It’s a bit hard to conceptualize because Irish-decended white people in most of the world are very much not oppressed today, but in Ireland their wounds are still fresh in many ways. I can bet that the grandmother who she is named after would be rather unhappy with her name being corrupted into a totally unrelated english word. I think that the mother realizes all this on some level and that is why she go so angry and defensive. That being said, naming mistakes like this happen all the time and it really isn’t the end of the world, but acknowledging them is important. For example, my parents thought they made up the name “Tayah” (as they spelt it) and a doctor got mad at them for spelling it wrong and informed them it is a very old name in his culture. They didn’t change the spelling of the name but it was important for them and my sister to understand its real origins. You can imagine how embarrassing it would have been for her if she was corrected on this later in life rather than just knowing the history and my parents’ mistake from the get go.

[@siobhan98]

@@ThePietjandorie i myself also have a mistakenly spelt name because the a is supposed to have an accent on it. An Irish woman with the same name pointed this out to me and my mother and it definitely didn’t upset me or her. I’m happy to know the importance of the missing accent because I would rather be able to recognize that than be ignorant to it. I am very happy I was informed of this early in life and only wish that someone had told my parents earlier so they could make an informed decision about including the accent or not. Or that they just did more research😅 Overall none of these name mistakes aren’t the end of the world. Language changes, but when you’re taking something from a language that had to fight so hard to stay alive it best to respect the history of it at the very least rather than getting offended or assuming that someone is just an asshole because they don’t like how you have changed a name for their culture.

[@ThePietjandorie]

@@siobhan98 i don't agree. They're not erasing Irish culture when they are living all the way over in America and it's not like they're taking away and missappropriating a custom. Names changing because of the region is normal and this has happened to everybody and everywhere. Also, it's that woman's grandma? Do you really think that she wouldn't know how her family would call her grandma? That her own mother or father wouldn't have corrected her about their mother's name when she picked it out? Big chance that that grandma was called Grain over in America by her whole family and she was perfectly at peace with that. Like, of course this is assuming things but the way you're stating how the grandma would feel about all of this is a lot of assuming as well. I don't think you're valid in being a dick to someone when their name is pronounced "wrong" and I don't think you have the right to dictate anybody how they say their own name. There is no harm in spreading information about it and informing someone about the origins of their name, but in my book, that's it.

[@daimianadrien2643]

As an Irish person, a lot of monolingual English speakers love to appropriate Irish names and then waterdown their meanings and pronounciations for the convience of English speakers. Sometimes they need to be told if they messed up that badly

[@SilverRagaire]

Honestly, I just thought the OP in the “Grain” story was just trying to continue the conversation. It’s not like OP straight up said the name was wrong, she praised the ingenuity “old name, modern pronunciation.” But then again, I was always too airheaded for the mean girls to bully, so the idea that it was supposed to be a backhanded compliment flew over my head until pointed out.

[@aethermca]

Nah, I don't think it was a backhanded compliment, specially cause the mom was in the UK so people were bound to point out the correct pronunciation. It seem to simply a nice way of saying "oh, that's not how it's usually pronounced, but if you're happy that's cool" and leaving the mom with the choice to pronounce properly or embrace her way or saying

[@ntuneric]

considering it came from a british person, it probably was a backhanded compliment

[@tokagefumei6656]

Seeing a lot of people with hearing aids in the chat who are rightfully very concerned about the hearing aid story so this is a PSA that if this happens to you CALL YOUR CLINIC! You may have a warranty from the manufacturer (or they may be able to help you get them repaired for cheaper than the cost of a new pair of devices)

[@WatashiMachineFullCycle]

THANK YOU FOR SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT THE POOL THING. You don't know if that person is wearing hearing aides, has electronics on them, if they might fall weird and hit the side of the pool, hell even if they can freaking SWIM or not. I have cold urticaria and while it's usually a condition that's just annoying and not really dangerous at all, if that water is cold enough I could LITERALLY go into shock. Seriously, stop pushing people into water.

[@hnichole]

When we were kids, someone pushed my sister into a pool at a birthday party - it wasn't even a pool party, they just happened to have a big pool. My sister was literally minding her own business and just walking to the other part of the yard to talk to one of her friends, and this girl just shoved her out of nowhere as she was walking. Neither of us ever learned to swim. Even though the parents were all inside, my dad thankfully was a Marine and was supervising very carefully. He got her out before the other parents even realized what was going on, and he was rightfully furious and we left immediately after. No other adult at that party knew that my sister and I couldn't swim, and obviously it's not like I could have gone in to get her, so that could have ended very poorly if my dad hadn't been there and seen the whole thing. My poor sister cried the whole way home. I agree, people need to stop pushing others into water. It's not even funny.

[@WatashiMachineFullCycle]

@@hnichole That's so freaking scary, like exactly my point!! I'm really glad your sister was okay ultimately. I've heard really gnarly stories of people who could swim just fine, but hit their heads from being pushed in without warning and falling in a weird way (one friend told me a story about a deck leading to the pool and flailing and hitting the deck instead, they needed stitches). I have no idea at what temp a sudden plunge would actually send me into shock so being pushed into cold water with no warning is actually one of my deepest fears

[@iditrirajan]

One of my siblings is chronically hypothermic so pranks like this can potentially kill him.

[@jonnnnniej]

My brother had learned how to swim (we're Dutch), but is autistic and got a panic attack when my nephew pushed him in the pool. There's never any excuse to do anything to anyone that could endanger their lives.

[@erika-paigehutch3930]

My siblings and i have pushed each other and flipped floaties and stuff over BUT we always go "I'm gonna push you later" and the other person then has a chance to say "no don't for this reason" or just "no i don't want you to" theres always warning and chance to say no which is good

[@TwoCatsInLondon]

When I was eight or so, I had a black classmate who was adopted by white parents. They had her head shaved every couple of months. I live in a majority white country and I didn't really understand that her hair type was different from mine in terms of how to handle it, but I remember feeling really, really sad for her. Of course, it's possible she wanted her hair short, but I remember the parents saying they "had to do it, because otherwise her hair would be hard to manage". It breaks my heart thinking about it now, that poor girl. She had beautiful hair, and I hope she's growing it exactly the way she wants to nowadays. If you're going to adopt a kid, actually step up as a parent. Don't ignore or "get rid of" the parts that you think are "hard to manage".

[@kebbobebop]

Hearing aid story: in my opinion, op’s hearing aids are equivalent to one’s wheelchair or walker or cane or prosthetic. It allows the person with a disability to function more easily in society and everyday life. I just think it is very important, and he owes her in some way.

[@Lionesse-z41553]

Exactly.

[@crazyratlady3115]

Not to mention, picking someone up and throwing them when they're telling you 'no' is clearly assault - OP would have been within her rights to press charges for that. It's very sad that he had to drop out of college but actions, meet consequence. You assault someone and destroy their expensive and specialised aid that they need to function in daily life (apparently OP out-earns the cousin but how long would that last without her hearing aids?) then you can't just nuh-uh your way out paying.

[@Lionesse-z41553]

@@crazyratlady3115 Exactly. Maybe without her hearing aids, she could no longer work that well -paying job.

[@Rosepayne3396]

THIS! the issue about him having to drop out of college is a result of him not cooperating with the courts. He is responsible for destroying her hearing aids he needs to take the consequences

[@hnichole]

@@crazyratlady3115I also wondered if losing the hearing aids would impact OP's job in any way - in addition to being out 6k, it could also have long-term financial repercussions if it affected her work at all. It almost sounds like OP's family is acting like the cousin just destroyed some airpods, idk how they all treat the loss of her aid so casually.

[@anothermoon8894]

Honestly "Gro-nyuh" sounds badass, like the great magician you encounter on a quest.

[@LannasMissingLink]

It's more similar to graw-nya, but yeah it is a badass name!! There's a famous pirate queen called Gráinne Mhaol, she has a statue in her honour in Ireland. and there's even a beautiful Irish language song with her in it! "Oró sé do bheatha bhaile" it's about the sadness of losing so many from emigration and the relief and happiness to see them come home

[@anothermoon8894]

@@LannasMissingLink Damn, Irland got some cool myths 😍😍

[@LannasMissingLink]

@anothermoon8894 we do but actually she was real!

[@poisonedvices6962]

I would give the Sunny one an A for authenticity because it's too specific to be fake if that makes sense.

[@belindarosegold]

Lack of universal health care will always be the unsung asshole.

[@Reyreads]

HOH hearing aid user here just so people know hearing aids are expensive everywhere very rarely are they treated like the medical devices they are , in Canada which has government funded healthcare they are also quite expensive though typically have programs to help you pay but they’re almost never free no matter location or government

[@icantchange.youtubesaysine7338]

I remember when I was little and I wore a life jacket and my mum threw me in the pool and laughed. I laughed and she pulled me up and ask my nan to watch me. My nan went to get us food and I was undoing my life jacket on the edge of the pool and went to push myself back so I was away from the water and near the chairs. Apparently a grown ass man came up behind me and pushed me in. I dropped like a stone and some guy dived in to get me. The guy who pushed me in was laughing while others were screaming at him saying, what is wrong with you? I was brought up but in shock because I just sunk. My mum came back down just as I was brought up. She said it was terrifying because I was coughing up water and then I just didn’t speak or even respond. It was like a full minute or so before I was sobbing my heart out. My mum didn’t leave me with my nan for the rest of the time we were on holiday. Yeah. I’ve always hated being pushed in the pool because of that. I get angry at it.

[@Lionesse-z41553]

OMG. That's horrible!

[@Ihelpertricks]

Straight to jail with that man, pushing someone into the pool is bad and annoying, and sometimes can be much worse. Touching someone elses kid tho???? The fact he was so comfortable to do that would make me second guess that guy in more ways than one

[@icantchange.youtubesaysine7338]

@@Ihelpertricks Yeah. My mum said to staff asked him to leave the pool area but that was it. She saw him a few times after that during our holiday and said he kept giving us glares. Like he didn’t push a child in the pool when they just took off their life jacket. The guy did create a fear of water for a while. Didn’t learn to swim until I was twelve because of the fear of drowning again. I’m happy to say I love the water now but man, imagine having the confidence to pushed a child you don’t even know.

[@helwaania]

What a malicious man. I cant imagine the terror you faced or the ones around you. What really is wrong with people like that?

[@icantchange.youtubesaysine7338]

@@helwaania Honestly, I would love to know the same thing. I still have bouts of anxiety when in any type of water but I’m starting to get over it. My mum on the other hand, even though I’m an adult, gets anxiety when she can’t see me if we go swimming. The guy had real nerves of steel. Im always curious about what went through his head. He knew I couldn’t swim (Literally arguing with people I needed to just learn anyways lol. I asked my mum before and she said that’s what he was saying while my little old nan threatened to push him in the water.)

[@kriblar98]

The Grainne one is the naming equivalent of people who get tattoos in a language they don’t understand and get upset when it means something else, the mum was overreacting and if the OP didn’t tell her someone else would have and could have been rude about it

[@firstnamelastname7708]

It also reminds me of foreign tattoos. I wonder if the people defending that mother would get mad at people who tell someone their tattoo doesn’t mean “7 rings” it means “small charcoal grill”?

[@ciaragoering]

3:40 hot take - if you refuse to give your child necessary medical care (including hair care) thats neglect 💁‍♀️

[@ciaragoering]

and the pool one - never touch someone without their consent period. one time in Civil Air Patrol a woman in my squad asked “consent to touch?” after mentioning a piece of my hair was out of place and I have never been the same since. ALWAYS ASK CONSENT.

[@monbub]

agreed with both opinions!

[@mossianna]

As a *former* mandated reporter, not caring for your child's hair IS infact a form of neglect!

[@beccaf262]

The way she phrased it with “traditional name with modern pronunciation” was the most diplomatic way of approaching it. If you’re not going to research a name from another culture before you give it to a child you can’t be mad when people mention it.

[@michaelkennedy2888]

13:08 I think she was totally right to take him to court. Men face far less consequences for their reckless and destructive behavior, so I’m glad to see he is learning his lesson. Sucks he had to drop out, but he should’ve thought of that before he destroyed someone’s property by throwing them into a pool even after they repeatedly asked him to stop. NTAH

[@Camy-2004]

Ikr it's classic FAFO I also hate how a lot of people use his kid as a shield, at the end of the day he was given more chances but he still doubled down Like the saying "get bent"

[@mimi.dixon.b]

8:16 as condescending as the post was I don’t disagree with their sentiment, if you’re bringing your kid to a professional setting, you better have them under control

[@Sootielove]

Like, definitely don't cuss out the parent, but if you bring a child into a professional environment, you have a responsibility not to disturb everyone else

[@user-um8zt2ke8o]

Sorry, put the payments on hold? Yeah let OP just not heard until he can figure out being an adult. He's got a kid and rent, he should've thought about that. He should set a good example. if he hit someone's car and said he wasnt responsible for paying for damages bc he didn't realize he hit it, HE IS STILL RESPONSIBLE. OP took them to court where he HAD A CHANCE to pay properly with a plan, DIDNT SHOW UP and got his wages garnished. Lesson is, pay your cousin for their hearing aids wtf

[@a_cutevision]

Also the other lesson is, don't push people in a pool

[@bcalriss8906]

Plus, if he’d actually made an effort to negotiate they probably could’ve lowered the amount garnished to stretch out the payment and make it more manageable

[@Lari-lc3zq]

OP definitely has new hearing aids already. This conversation is about the money, not the accessibility device. That being said, he made his bed and he can pay for it 🤷

[@totempolejoe1]

I'm so glad people are taking the side of the person with the hearing aids. The cousin did everything he could to not face consequences for his own stupid decision. He derailed his own career by repeatedly refusing to negotiate in good faith. Also, Sunny's post might be the first time I've ever seen parents try to nonconsensually turn the name they themselves gave that child into a deadname. If I regretted naming my child something, but the child told me they actually love their name, I would not press it any further. And Sunny is a great name!

[@purplesky99876]

Non black people should not adopt black kids if you can't do their hair. I will never forget when I was working at Sam's Club, there was this beautiful black child with super tangled hair in two buns, you could see how deeply red her scalp was through the part.

[@Themudeater]

People shouldn’t adopt kids period if they can’t be bothered to learn how to care for them period

[@moustik31]

Heartbreaking. 🙁

[@Biscuit_gamer34]

Oh no… That poor girl.

[@eve3455]

We adopted my biological cousin as a sister due to necessity! She's half black and a sweet baby girl with beautiful hair. I was her main caretaker (shout-out parentification) and I spent about three hours learning how to take care of her hair on a very basic level. Overall it only took me a couple of weeks to get a good understanding of what she needed and what to never do with her hair. It's very healthy and beautiful to this day! It genuinely just doesn't take that much effort to learn how to care for something new. People just have a lack of willingness a lot of the time.

[@StephyG728]

Ugh poor kid!! That's so awful

[@melaniemagolan2241]

I was once criticized by a mother when I worked at a summer camp for “ruining her children’s self-esteem.” What had I done? Tell her that her children were not well-behaved. I did also witness these boys hitting and kicking the mother with no consequences or correction, even gentle correction, so apparently any amount of discipline or discussion of her children’s behavior was enough to ruin their self esteem.

[@okanimation68]

The earingaids dude ruined his own life. Don't break people's medical equipement PERIOD.

[@helwaania]

It was stated that he wasn't aware that he had hearing aids and just kind of brushed it off as an oopsie, I guess? So i dont think he really wanted to cause that trouble for himself, but for the love of god pushing people into pools is a big no-no. Ugh.

[@TheGhostofAbigailMills]

@@helwaania It's the fact that once he was told, he didn't try to make it right. If I messed up someone's medical equipment 'without meaning to", I would falling over myself trying to pay for it promptly and make amends. Like I feel guilty just thinking about it lol. This guy ... he just kept digging the hole deeper.

[@user-xh6jk4mi8u]

Beyond how messed up it is to push someone into a pool, it is especially messed up to push someone into a pool because they just got their hair done in order to ruin it. Why would anyone do that?

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

At least when I broke people's glasses, it was because they attacked me. If you never throw the first punch you can never be at fault. They brought it on themselves

[@crystalisedink]

As an Irish person the MINUTE I saw the name "Grain" I immediately knew where that was going. WHYYY do people not RESEARCH name pronunciations before they decide a name?? And that goes for ANY language!

[@K.Kali24]

I’m Irish and I can’t state enough how much we don’t like hearing people butcher names then give them to their children with absolutely no research or heritage, or claiming they’re Irish because their nanny’s uncles cousins brothers mothers aunties dog pissed on an Irish persons leg , it’s no big deal but it would be nice to at least respect our culture since we don’t have much of it left, would be weird to just claim I’m American if I just loved the country

[@Samson16436]

"pissed on the leg" 🤣🤣

[@Samson16436]

But fr, it's crazy to me to name your kid without knowing the history/meaning/cultural significance etc of the name. This includes different pronunciations and what they mean/represent in context.

[@Sootielove]

I'm Welsh and 100% same with that. Honestly it seems even worse for Irish names. Especially if you're taking a name to honour a relative or a heritage, you should take some level of responsibility to pronounce it correctly. It's already annoying enough to have your names mispronounced, nevermind if it's encouraged by "oh, but I know someone who pronounces it this way"

[@kierra1224]

I'm mixed and my mom (white) had no clue how to care for my textured hair when I was a kid when I was in 5th grade she bought me a really expensive fancy hair straightener and I was made to straighten my hair everyday to avoid comments about my hair being unkempt. At 27 years old I'm just now learning how to care for my hair, sometimes when I'm trying to style my hair I end up in tears because I feel so stupid that I don't know how to care for or style my hair. Hair stylist around where I live have no idea how or what to do with my hair and I don't have the funds to go to a specialty salon. So that woman is amazing and that mother should be thankful.

[@Dieclownmusic]

Acknowledging that there are differences in racial hair types isn’t racist it’s weird that people think it is

[@ZoeAlleyne]

These are the kinds of people who call themselves color-blind.

[@dominomasked]

People need to get their heads around the way a person’s assistive devices aren’t just objects, they’re much more like a part of a person’s body, both morally and practically.

[@PoshPigsHerd]

I’ll admit I do feel this same level of rage when I see kids misbehaving in public. Not just goofing around, but wreaking havoc, especially when it’s at my place of work and ESPECIALLY when the parents are doing jack shit to correct/discipline them. I definitely run through every profanity I can think of in my head. But my guy, those are inside thoughts. 😬🤫

[@Lionesse-z41553]

Exactly. I may feel stressed and engaged, but I will simply remove myself from the situation.

[@petiteange08]

Agreed, I get very pissed about parents not caring about their kids misbehaving in public. But the important part is brain to mouth filter.

[@PoshPigsHerd]

I’m a figure skating coach and I was the skating director at this rink in California. One time these 2 unsupervised boys, maybe 9/10 years old, were absolutely running wild in the rink. I kept asking where their parents were and they were so dismissive and entitled and just ignored me. About an hour into this nonsense I went to grab something at the front desk and discovered that they had PEED BEHIND THE COUNTER! Turns out the dad was looking for them too and thankfully he came at the right moment and I informed them that they would be cleaning up the mess themselves. Our rink manager went to go get paper towels and a mop and I stayed behind as the dad apologized profusely (too late) and the boys just stood there rolling their eyes as the dad halfway lectured them. When the manager returned with the cleaning supplies, the boys threw a fit and refused to clean so the dad cleaned up the whole mess by himself and let the boys run off and play. I 100% blame the parents for this type of stuff. There’s no way a kid vandalizes a public indoor space with URINE without having a history of doing stupid shit. If you know your kid is a little terror, you need to watch them like a hawk in public. The worst part is, they didn’t even get banned from the rink, I think because they were a wealthy hockey family, and I didn’t have the authority to ban them.

[@lizabethh4070]

As someone who cares for kids,yeah I agree but I consider the fact they probably can’t leave the kid at home And you don’t have to speak to the parents but it’s unprofessional to scream at people in the work place and cursing,obviously being unprofessional doesn’t fix unprofessionalism you could’ve reported it before it became a problem you couldn’t handle

[@hockeygrrlmuse]

@PoshPigsHerd ​Oh that's nasty. Side note, as a hockey player from CA I was trying to guess what rink this was (and figure out if I knew those bratty kids... I don't know these specific ones but I definitely have encountered similar behavior in the NorCal rinks). Instead I ended up finding your Tiktok account & now I'm just impressed at your skills! Becoming proficient and competitive as an adult is so hard, and so undervalued in U.S. sports culture - it was a really nice chance internet encounter to come across you 😊

[@TheNinjapancake14]

With the grain story, the way the lady pointed it out was very graceful. “An old-school name with a modern pronunciation.” I think that’s very lovely and still celebrates the new way of saying it!

[@bryn1063]

Ikr people saying she said she was pronouncing the name wrong totally missed that point and seems like they're projecting tbh.

[@karakreativevlog]

For the hearing aids story, he needs to learn actions have consequences. Sometimes those consequences are life ruining. He should have never thrown someone against their will into the pool.

[@alexandraw6264]

8:55 I agree, I absolutely despise the prevalent attitude about children and parents on Reddit. It’s awful. It feels anti-human and completely devoid of compassion.

[@ahqeeef]

Exactly its really scary that people like that exist. I get overwhelmed by kids, i dont think ill ever have them. You can not enjoy being around children without being cruel.

[@liliebilie]

It really is anti human though. The way they speak about kids is very dehumanizing and gross. Yeah kids are annoying of course they are but they deserve respect, kindness, and safety like all living things do. We were literally all children at some point, it’s like they forgot they used to be an annoying kid

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

Is it reddit? There was a story about a security guard getting physical with a student and a large portion of the comments just said the student probably had it commin. People wanna beat kids so bad. Who else grew up hearing "I wish you were my kid so I could physically abuse you" just generally describe ways they wish they could beat you.

[@Dvgteeth]

I mean….parent your children better.

[@Manic6605]

The one about the kids name is so close to home. Obvious differences aside- when I came out to my parents as trans and told them I was changing my name, they had the wildest meltdown for about three months. I was 28, mind you, a full grown adult. 10 years removed from living with them! Parents can get SO weird about their kid’s names!!! You gave it to them, and they get to use or change it, it’s not your’s anymore?! You gave it away! If you give someone a gift, like a bike, and they want to paint it red- you can’t yell at them because YOU prefer blue?! It’s not your bike anymore?!?!

[@alim.9801]

Well said!! I never go by my actual name and I'm thankful my mom has never made a thing out of it. I go by a nickname for it, and she actually helped me pick it out a long time ago bc my actual name is frequently mispronounced and she knows it's frustrating 😂 and my real name just doesn't feel like me

[@lazyperfectionist3978]

That was my fear personally if I ever came out to my gene donors, I've settled for waiting until they both died out. Ironically, the name I actually want to legally change to is the one they originally picked for me

[@neea8807]

As a mom who put a lot of thoughts in her kids names, you're perfectly right. If my kids want to change their name for whatever reason (being trans is obviously one, but I know cis people doing it), so be it. I'm not the one living with that name, they are.

[@SisselSasha]

@@lazyperfectionist3978gene donors = the ppl who birthed u? I didn’t know that term I will borrow it if I may (adopted person)

[@fanime1]

I want to change my middle name because I hate it so much, and when I told my dad, he flipped out on me. So now I'm just saving up money to do it without his help.

[@quaid0157]

For the hearing aid one, my mom has had hearing aids her whole life so I feel like I have some background for this one. Sadly, they are super expensive and I hope they become cheaper as time goes on but since they are super expensive, that cousin deserves his punishment (even if it is a bit harsh). Hearing loss is a disability and it can be very debilitating and even embarrassing. My mom gets anxious when she doesn’t have them because people might see her as rude or she might miss important information during a conversation. The OP was willing to live without her help if the cousin gave any sort of apology or timeline and that’s super generous! If my mom had to live without them for a long amount of time, it would drive her crazy! That cousin had so many opportunities to make a plan but since he kept his stubbornness till the end, all of his consequences are on him. His family should be pissed at him for wasting all of the opportunities and thinking that a hearing disability is nothing. Props to the OP for sticking up for themselves!! Disabilities are no joke!

[@eshna2012]

The story about the name change, those parents defiantly need to relax. The funny thing is in many south asian cultures “Sunny” IS a man’s name. ☀️

[@bailey516]

Honestly, I've never heard of a girl named Sonny where I live

[@mimisaur5000]

yah ! that's why sunny reads very masculine to me as well

[@mindymulligan2397]

Thank you for pointing out how Reddit is so weird when it comes to parents and kids. One time I read a story where people were justifying hitting someone elses kids bc “he deserved it” ?!?!?

[@Lionesse-z41553]

Yikes!

[@talluna8619]

nah the last one op was being kind about it to the best of their ability and trying to inform the parent of smth that the kid would have had to deal with at some point in their life, and was presumably british bc it took place in a&e (stands for accident and emergency btw!) so probably just wanted to be helpful. also like,,,, did the mum not know how the grandma's name was pronounced if her kid is named after her? that's so wild.

[@lowlyworm9323]

discarded my comment bc you said it exactly. Not the asshole!

[@karlat7880]

I think it’s important to remember that throwing her in the pool is ASSAULT. She could have called the cops on him. She chose to just ask for repayment. If her family is so worried about it, they can help him pay his bills.

[@lilithbrackemyre9294]

People have LOST THEIR HOUSES OVER LESS than 6,000 dollers. That hearing aid destroyer sould consider himself LUCKY all he lost was some of his free time *yes it's free time I will not budge on that idc that he has a kid AT ALL. & has to take a pause on college. And for DESTROYING SOMEONE ELTS PROPERTY WORTH THOUSANDS!!! He lost in court twice because IN EVERY WAY HE IS IN THE WRONG AND RESPONSIBLE. If you disagree you need to seriously take a look at yourself and your responsibility ISSUES!!!

[@Inkinhart]

He should also consider himself lucky that he wasn't charged with assault - grabbing someone like that is unambiguously criminal.

[@Sinc3r3ly]

“We don’t know if op is hard of hearing” D’Angelo why else would they have a hearing aid.. they said they’d wait for him to pay it back, as in buy another themselves and wait for him to reimburse later

[@aliciazombie8699]

The cousin should absolutely pay for the hearing aids. He went against OP's consent and ruined their ability to hear!

[@aliciazombie8699]

Definitely doesn't seem fake. People don't respect disability and aids.

[@jjacks50]

Don't throw people in pools. Sunny is my new favorite person.

[@megjournals]

19:54 yes! we have accident & emergency here

[@gretakassai1680]

i love these timestamps bc i came to check the comments and this was first ❤

[@ainsleyspencer9799]

LOL i legit was like american eagle?

[@Dr.Bonana]

As someone with hearing aids they are not allowed to be changed out (at least for my Insurance) or replaced for 5 years. If the cousin would have apologized they could have bought over the counter hearing aids until the insurance replaced them but him refusing to apologize and set up any plan for replacement is what makes things different

[@elliet95]

NOT GRAIN FOR GRÁINNE 😂😂😂 I love the wild takes on gaelic pronunciations 😂😂 love from Ireland ☘️🖤

[@TopHatKitty]

I'm 100% on the hearing aid girl's story. He basically assaulted her. And then he couldn't even bother to feel bad. If someone isn't even going to feel guilty for what they've done, you have to do something to hold him accountable. Sounds like homie should really learn how to use condoms and to stop casually abusing his family members.

[@user-hr6lo8yt6x]

my least favorite thing about AITA is that 90% of the posts are very obviously and completely fiction but the commenters believe it without question. I appreciate D'Angelo rating each for authenticity.

[@shankeduu]

i always see sm fake stuff on that sub 😂

[@jakecolon3]

pretty sure the rules state you have to believe the posters so people don't wrongly accuse real stories of being fake

[@user-hr6lo8yt6x]

@@jakecolon3 I get that for the believable ones that there's no way to ever really know for sure but for the obviously fake ones I wish more people would just downvote and not comment at all.

[@hockeygrrlmuse]

Yeah, some of them I think it's fine to just give them the benefit of the doubt and use it as a thought exercise to figure out what you'd do in their shoes, or start a genuine discussion. But some of them are just trying to get outrage & attention. And then those ones end up ruining any actual stories because people are constantly commenting angrily how fake they are. You can't win either way

[@AshyFeller]

I'm a white girl with super thick super curly hair. Yes. You need to know how to take care of you're childs hair. My parents knew how to take care of my hair because they had the same kind of hair. If you don't have experience taking care of your child's hair type. Educate yourself. Or find someone with experience. Not doing this when it's so easy is a mark-down on the parenting grade.

[@HobieInTheBox]

Here's the thing. I agree that calling kids crotch goblins is quite far, especially since kids have little control or autonomy over themselves and rely on their parents for basically everything. But being a parent is an inherent, selfish choice. And a lot of people who aren't up to the task choose to become one. This results in these many, maybe often, fictional, but still realistic situations we see on reddit. Like kids f*cking sh*t up, being a public nuisance, being a disturbance in cinemas or other quiet places. And it's not the kids' fault when they're like this. It's the parents for not doing their damn jobs. Frustrations directed at children whilst slightly unfair are still valid. But the anger should at least for the most part be directed at the parents for being clueless selfish apple brains.

[@Lionesse-z41553]

👏👏👏

[@arianamiranda3660]

As someone who cant swim and has been a victim to people playing rough in pools, getting thrown into a pool is one of my biggest fears.

[@adreena456]

Hearing aids one, supreme not the asshole! Had to take the cousin to court twice?! Hell no.

[@UniqueCOTA]

My hearing aids were $6000. Yes it's crazy and so true.

[@thejaneymac6385]

As an Irish person, I love how you pronounced Gráinne. Just perfect!

[@LannasMissingLink]

Plus the name is in my favourite Irish language song! Oró sé do bheatha bhaile

[@b2fsu18]

I like how you say you're pulling up a picture of your awkward hair phase and then proceed to share an image of a very fly individual

[@QueenHolly832]

Leaving another comment cuz the pool one was crazy too. I might get push back on this but I'm siding with OP. If their cousin was apologetic and wanted to pay them back after he finished college, it would've been such a better response than "no way". He should've respected OP's pleads to not throw them in the pool and should've reached out for compromise with the payments instead of refusing to pay at every step. Consequences for your actions, as brutal as it may seem.

[@mirih4239]

Yeah. The cousin was given multiple opportunities to make better choices and didn't take them. If he valued his pride over his money by refusing to apologize or even negotiate at first, how is it OP's fault that the cousin had to drop out of college to make the payments?

[@Inkinhart]

Yeah, it's not OP's fault that she was assaulted and had her medical equipment ruined. Cousin had the choice not to assault her because he wanted to ruin her hair, chose to, and then chose to fuck around and find out vis a vis the financial pentalty

[@sparklestarspompomunicorn]

bastardising an irish name , as an american, in england, is just setting yourself up for someone to call it out eventually. respecting your heritage would involve actually researching it. i’m in a somewhat similar position to gráinne- my name is from my grandmother’s country, and, to an english speaker, is pronounced nothing like it looks. my parents did pronounce it right, though, and no matter how many times it’s mispronounced, i’m proud of it. mainly, the history of english oppression of the irish just makes gráinne’s whole position worse.

[@napier9979]

For the hearing aids I would have at least garnished the wages less so he didn't have to drop out of college, or plan it out later, but if the cousin was really refusing to pay at all or coordinate a payment plan, that is his fault. Very harsh, but he also needs to grow up.

[@hockeygrrlmuse]

Correct me if there are jurisdictions where this doesn't apply, but usually it's the court that decides on how much to take out of someone's paycheck, not the complainant/plaintiff. There are rules & formulas for how much & how long. So it's very possible that his payment could've been lower but the court raised it due to him refusing to cooperate

[@maximillion8442]

The Grainne one - that person is so kind. I would have said something like, "hmm, thats a funny way to talk abt your own feelings when your child is clearly fine. Again, with sincerity, Grainne is a lovely name."

[@WateverWatever04]

4:11 TO' UP FROM THE FLO UP IS CRAZY

[@Lionesse-z41553]

🤣🤣🤣 I died.

[@virginiawatts4B]

My parents said to'up from the flo up like homemade throw up 😂

[@DinDeen]

Regarding the hearing aids issue: If the family was backing up the cousin who ruined the hearing aids... then instead of putting the effort into pressuring his victim, how about putting effort into paying for the hearing aids?

[@ryanmackenzie6109]

When I was younger and went to summer camp, all of our camp counselors had code names (Dragonfly, Lulu(lemon), etc) and the first person we were introduced to was Sunny, so I thought it was his real name. I absolutely _adored_ the name with all of my heart. I immediately thought he was the absolute coolest person I had even met. A guy with the most beautiful name ever. It was such an impactful "Oh Wow" moment in my life that I remember it clearly to this day, and I think about that name often. This kid should Absolutely keep his name

[@sosofa123]

I feel like people don’t realize how painful it is to be deaf/partially deaf. It’s not that you just don’t hear others, but it’s so hard to focus and try to understand what others are saying. Especially when there are so many noises and people talking at the same time. Yes that person waited for some time without using it, but it’s very hard to adapt and try to navigate without any help. It’s not just “lack of hearing”, it’s also the pressure on your ears as well that will cause so many issues including headaches and nausea. I understand why people with no hearing problems don’t understand the extent of these issues, but I feel like we need to educate ourselves that hearing loss isn’t always an easy thing to handle or just gloss over. That person probably had to deal with a lot of issues just because of an AH who thought he was being funny. He kinda deserved the consequences of his actions, while that person on the other hand didn’t deserve any of the pain or discomfort they probably went through + their family turning on them as well. I don’t sympathize with AHs.

[@LylBambi]

Hey D'Angelo, quick check-in. If you see this, just know you've been on fire with your content these past few months, and you've been consistently brilliant. However, please make sure you are taking care of yourself. If any of this doesn't feel good and is causing anxiety, please take a step back and have a mental health break. If it feels good, continue! You are a superstar, and you will always have dedicated scrubbers. Much love.

[@LucaDolan]

23:05 As an Irish person, I'm baffled this parent put in no effort whatsoever to learn how her child and great-grandmother's name is pronounced!! It's the 21st century, Gráinne is a common Irish name, she has the ability to find out! (She didn't question the purpose of the 'á' whatsoever??) What sends me is the likelihood that her entire family have been mispronouncing her great-grandmother's name for decades!! How is this possible?? Is it just extreme arrogance that made them think their ability to deduce the name's pronunciation was flawless?? Pronunciations of certain names/words can change over time and have regional variants (many Irish words have slightly different pronunciations depending on where you live in Ireland) - however if a person's pronunciation of a word/name is due to ignorance, I think that should be pointed out. In this specific situation, if you want to call your child Grain, name them Grain! Don't appropriate the spelling of Gráinne and say it's pronounced Grain!

[@godlikestevie]

15:42 I’m also like why didn’t the family help out at all instead of making OP feel bad?

[@Lionesse-z41553]

That often happens when the family knows that a person is a screw-up. They want to protect the person. It's really stupid. Also maybe they're more like the cousin, and they think the Opie is a rich snob.

[@Lionesse-z41553]

The person whose hearing aids were ruined is not the asshole. The hearing aids that someone with profound hearing loss wear-- someone who is profoundly hard of hearing--are not the same as the hearing aids you can get at CVS. They are medical devices, they are extremely expensive, they are often not covered by insurance, so even if that person does make more money than their cousin, that does not mean that they can easily afford to replace those hearing aids. It also doesn't mean that they can get by until they can get new ones. My husband is deaf. He had hearing aids when we first met, but they only barely helped him to navigate. Luckily, at the time I had really good insurance, and I was able to add him before we were married and were simply domestic partners. In our case, my insurance did cover the surgery for cochlear implants. Twice. But as I said we got extremely lucky. This person's cousin created a hardship for them. I think they were justified in suing, but I agree that maybe they should have come to a settlement where there was a payment plan. That said, it doesn't sound like the cousin has very good judgment in general. Hearing aids for people who are profoundly hard of hearing are medical devices, not merely assistive devices.