THE MOTHER WOUND! LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN PODCAST EPISODE B. SIMONE & DR. CHEYENNE BRYANT| MY REACTION

[@RealTalkWithYanie]

Watching the playback and the chat is so amazing! Very healing, THANK YOU!🙏🏽 😭

[@CPCP11]

Thank you! I needed this

[@MecurialFlow]

As someone who has cut off their mother within the last year, due to her own self hatred, projection & lack of self control… Do what you need for your heart & your mind. They come before any and everything. Sending love to all women who are dealing with the mother wound. You are not alone 🥹❤️

[@luckielefty7715]

Me: mom you did this, this, and made me feel like that... My mom: No, I didn't (starts crying) when I was young...... and then proceeds to make it about herself This all sounds good, but the reality is most parents will never acknowledge your feelings to absolve their own guilt, then again what are feelings? We weren't allowed to have those growing up.

[@BeautiDon]

Yeah same with my mom she brings up her situation to compare to mine smh

[@meemzzyj4894]

Literally my mom every time I try to address anything.

[@TheAaajj99]

Literally my mom as well! Also, I have noticed so are other ppl in my life 😢 I guess I subconsciously picked them because it’s trauma I’m used to 🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️😭😭😭

[@BeautiDon]

@TheAaajj99 yep we gotta resolved our traumas and let them go so we can grow and be in the life we desire

[@TheAaajj99]

@@BeautiDonagreed! The hard part is removing ALLLLL the toxic ppl. I’m so close… or it’s knowing how to deal with the toxic ppl 🤷🏽‍♀️ Maybe… it’s the personal growth and healing ❤️‍🩹 that will make it easier

[@Itsmargaretta]

Girlllll retired people pleaser toooo. Working on it but so much better at No now and only doing things that feel right to me.

[@MayaDivine8]

Saying “I forgive them” without truly processing your feelings is NOT real forgiveness. In my past, when I was quick to “forgive,” but not honor my feelings and process them, I still harbored resentment and would talk about those issues repeatedly not realizing I haven’t truly forgiven and released it from affecting me. Most people don’t want to feel the feelings or process them because it’s not a quick and easy process but you do yourself a disservice when you don’t honor your TRUE feelings about the situation and process to reach the point of true forgiveness.

[@miapeterson8602]

I usually don’t comment much but WHEWWWW I had to hold back tears listening to this one!! Triggered isn’t even the word. I would love to have a call in ❤️❤️ SN: Can we talk about holding grudges towards are parents for picking horrible partners. Like why didn’t you think about who this person would be like as a parent. Now I have to suffer

[@BeautiDon]

Lets call it the Selfish Era! Its more than a lifestyle let it be the way of life ladies

[@xyzdotyannii]

People Pleasing to win people over. As they win, lose oneselves completely.

[@Headnotthetail2]

My mom is 54 and still cringes when me and my sister hug her but I know she would do anything in the world for us.She taught me to be a giver and give and give until they love you and 9/10 they never will.I love her but she gets angry when I tell her to do simple things but if she only knew how much I love her

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

My mom isn't huggy Feely either.

[@Tx_Nay]

I’m only 25 mins in but you are speaking the truth!

[@Itsmargaretta]

The part about the church and religion, definitely second. When I can back to God, it was important for me to find a church whose messages aligned with me for the fellowship. And luckily, I found one that doesn’t shy away from life issues. We talk about health and mental health and we talk about how you are still gonna struggle, maybe even more so if you believe. So I definitely cherish that and be able to hold space there.

[@Sparklessssssssss]

Messages should aligned with God not u

[@BeautiDon]

I appreciate you for this video. Very relatable. I had to share with my close friends. This topic isnt talked about much. The traumas we get from our parent's are strong and can affect us longterm if we dont resolve them internally.

[@elizabethreyes7068]

Omg yes Yani ! My mother was also a devout godly woman that had and in ability to communicate. I finally understood that she just doesn’t have the capacity to give me any more so we have a relationship but it’s superficial,

[@BeautiDon]

I can relate

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

Sometimes it's all you can do is accept them as they are.

[@kia.203]

59:54 thats so true ! Thats why i respect Elizabeth aka. Karine Stephens because she told her truth, got immense backlash and judgment, but i know it set her free. I call it "The 8- mile effect ". Em character told his truth during the rap battle first, so his opponent couldn't use it against him.

[@PrettyPreciousG]

By happenstance, I befriended a psychologist, and he's helped me a LOT in my healing journey over the last 10 years. Unfortunately, I don't have the best (or hardly any) relationship with my mother.. And after speaking to my mom (per her request), this is what my friend advised me: You can have 'a' relationship with your mom, but it isn't going to be the one you want... Learn to accept it AND be okay with it. Since then, I've learned to no longer hold my mom to certain "motherly" expectations and it's alleviated me of a lot of pain and disappointment. I've redirected my focus to restoring peace within me, and to healing mentally and emotionally. My logic is that I want to be the best and healthiest version of me for my future husband and kids. I'm a much better person now and I'm definitely in a much better space.

[@afroaffirmation]

You got it!

[@mattiepierson2756]

Felt this 🙏🏾

[@rouhs.3105]

Yanie I feel like you are describing my mum all along the live. All the guidance my mum can give me is about religion, but what i need is real support in my life

[@jayce4065]

My mom has mental health issues. I’ve healed through my kids. Giving the kids the love I never had. It took some time to realize that I needed healing.

[@Chocolatequeen1233]

This was everything 💚

[@blackretrodivaflame2514]

Thank you for putting this on the table, so many of us need to hear this.

[@tgssgt]

Oooh wow, the more the video played the more I'm grateful to my Mother. That woman may not always understand but she will support me, hold me accountable and ask me the hard questions. All the whole coming from a place of love and wanting better for me. I see the daughter-mother trauma in my line of work (child therpist) and boy, it's hard to unpack at their age...let alone reaching adulthood. Nick taking accountability is laughable, he did not take accountability

[@HypnotizMindZ]

Working on forgiving my soon to be ex husband. It's tough work but I'm going to be patient with myself. Especially since we share a child together.

[@BeautiDon]

Same it's tough but we will get it done

[@heatherbradford8015]

Thank you so much for doing this. So much of what you talked about, I can relate, and it's painful. But I'm trying to do the work so I can heal myself as well as my relationship with my mother before it's too late.

[@K.D-Gaia]

This is amazing ❤

[@Sahgee]

Im your 888th like ❤️ youve confirmed a lot and really just gave words to a lot of the work that i have been doing within myself. Having control of myself has really helped me navigate how i interact with others and where i direct my energy. On another random note, i really do believe that you and I would be great friends if we were to ever really connect. We think alot alike, at least based on your public youtube platform. Looking forward to learning more about myself and about you 🌻

[@misslola007]

I really enjoyed this conversation. ☺️

[@opinionatedgen5893]

Yanie, you look GORGEOUS 😍🔥🔥🔥

[@Neimavictor0]

My mother dont know bonding. She would probably throw up if she had to bond. I've tried to talk to my mother for years, countless amounts of time. She gets angry when i ask about my childhood or anything that involves feelings... she shuts down and walks away. I have accepted it. Wanting her love has turned into pity. After years of seeing this i understand she just didn't have it to give. She dont know how.

[@sharplioness]

Those last two lines I felt with my soul ❤

[@princess199799]

It's not just she dont know how... she also refuses to get the tools and knowledge on how....which is also sad. I'm sorry.

[@Neimavictor0]

@@princess199799 That is 100% truth.

[@Neimavictor0]

@sharplioness Yeah, it's taugh! Letting go of the need to my mother's love has been a weight off my shoulders. I completely get it now. The truth of it has released me. I no longer yearn for it. However, I'm open to it if and when she is ready. ❤️

[@SHOP862]

Thanks for reminding me how much more shadow work I still have to do on these issues Yannie(grumble!@#$#@@)....it seems this work will never be done...is so heavy :(

[@SHunt2024]

21:14 There is a negative to having the kind of relationship you wanted with your mother. I had a great closeness with my mother because it was just the two of us. She thought spending time together was all of the "love" I needed but it wasn't. I told her how I needed her to move in my life, when I was an adult, and she wouldn't try. Another reason there should be some separation, is because we pick up positive and negative habits from our guardians. I've picked up so many negative habits from my mother and am now trying hard to reverse these issues, with the help of my therapist, but it has been soooo damn hard. You can only have this kind of relationship when the parent is open to communication, which most parents aren't.

[@misspiscesdreamz]

My mom was a sahm but not emotionally available to me. She didnt guide me thru puberty, teen or young adult ages. Even now she doesnt go out of her way to speak to me and we still live in the same home. I made it my mission to have open communication w my own children. My children are almost teens and they come to me avout more things than i ever did w my parents. I will never have a close relationship w my mother but she is helpful w my children so i guess u cant have it all.

[@liveonvenus]

This video was 1000/10 ❤❤❤❤❤

[@realChocolateDiamond]

I am sorry Yani this is too good. I am punching the DAM AIR. I see I need to do more work. 😔

[@MayaDivine8]

It’s almost impossible to love yourself fully, be a really good friend, attract good friends, or even establish boundaries around toxic women without healing our mother issues.

[@BeautiDon]

Have to think of it in the way that in the end we will die. So best to live the way that will make you happy in the end. We're only responsible for our own happiness and not others.

[@shawntoriawilliams921]

🎯🎯🎯

[@RS-sf4xh]

No being good does not mean that your not going to go through bad or tough things. In fact Christians go through the most because of spiritual warfare. I wish more people could experience the real spirit. Not the yoga, crystals, or astrology. The real thing itself. Also we are to strive for perfection not be perfect even God says this.

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

How do you work through these emotions when triggered? Also i LOVE these break downs of Dr Bryants videos..

[@BeingMyoshi]

Yaniiii!!! All of the points hit. When I was about to turn 30 I got into therapy to figure why I was people pleasing and out for revenge when you hurt ,because I wouldnt do that to them. I also was working on a family tree and honey. The things you find out thats generational too. Im so glad that I kept going.

[@PhrankBlunt]

This feels familiar. The more I dug into family history and asked questions I rationalized why the branches and twigs have been cut, why flowers no longer grow and heck why the cemetaries remain unkept👂🤞🫣

[@Cocobshopping]

Fantastic video Yanie❤

[@Itsmargaretta]

2:25:02 being aware of my shadow self allows me to be more in control of my reactions and emotions.

[@PhrankBlunt]

They chose the entity of man or woman. They chose to mold themselves to establish"a bond", they chose to chase the unknown in another free form human...yet the child they bore is an extension of self, to which they chose to withhold all the above...purposely 🤔🤷🏽‍♀️😮‍💨🙄

[@manij1913]

Yanie we have the EXACT same trigger when it comes to our mothers . I’m such a self care prioritize and spoil yourself type girl and get so upset when she tries to overplay her role and “fix things” in other peoples lives but had the nerve to become an EMT/ER tech for my career. I’m doing my best to switch and change things that I know are self sacrificing because I know that woman is EXHAUSTED

[@catlady3024]

I’ll watch the play back ❤❤❤

[@Itsmargaretta]

2:08:22 that’s me too. I would always hold it against them and a type of resentment would build up until i lash out

[@kia.203]

@40:20, thats my mom. Ill ask her something as simple as "Hows your day"? And ill get this looonnnggg 30 minute spill on how God is good, and he created man and woman, and how Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Thats all good, but, how are you?!?! I love God, but dang, everything out her mouth ties back to a scripture lol, and she will say " you know i have to tie everything to Gods word". Its actually annoying tbh. So Yanie, i feel your pain girl. It sometimes makes me rush her off the phone 😂🤭. No offense God lol

[@Jigglypuffpuffpass]

For me it’s my Dad and it makes me pick men that are unavailable

[@treazzaria4457]

Yanie I loved this video because I feel like I’m dealing with a mother wound and I sent this to my mom because she could also be dealing with a mother wound. Now the only thing I disagree with is you saying that women with child are the most disrespected. As a black mom I feel like we’re talked about with the most disgust. But then again we could just be seeing different sides of the coin.

[@blackretrodivaflame2514]

Where can I find the Villian course?

[@RShaun]

I admire your ability to cultivate a relationship with your mother from the capacity she has. I have finally grown tired of constantly pouring effort into a relationship that has no capacity to grow with me.

[@thedopeconversationspodcast]

I grew up in a secular household, I wonder what it would have been like to grow up in a loving, Christian household.

[@PhrankBlunt]

With the outcomes of PKs and cop children in my family, survey says eventually everyone plays into a dysfunction system once the hit the world and it hits back, hell look at Cam Newton and Nick Cannon outside their celebrity 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@sharplioness]

Hey Yanie, instead of the villain era, how about the growth era instead? Shakes off the negative cognition with villain

[@sewgeekdesigns9113]

I have processed years of stuff. My mom was never for me… even in relationships she made it about her with my weak minded bfs… now I’m with a guy and saying I can’t introduce you to her 😅I see other moms and daughters and say I’ll never have that. I forgive her but I keep my distance and ask how is she every blue moon. I gave up years ago and moved states. Now if my person said let’s move to California I’d go…

[@TheBlackDorothyZbornak]

I have the same strained relationship with my mother, she was my first bully. I dont buy the "she didnt have a good relationship with her mother" excuse. Im a dog mom and I'm more of a mom than she was. My furbaby gets home cooked meals, I encourage her and speak positive affirmations to her. I say I love you every day. If Im ever a human mom best believe my daughter will be getting even more love and encouragement

[@Rieka.Chanel]

Do you believe that people can give you what they don’t have within themselves?

[@Byebandit50]

@@Rieka.Chanelstop having babies if you have nothing to offer them 🙄 How disgusting

[@Byebandit50]

@@Rieka.Chanelfull of excuses per usual At the expense of your children 🙄

[@Mslee8320]

@@Rieka.Chanelshouldn’t be parents then..

[@MsElegance23]

A hard truth is no, Iylana Vanzant helped me to realize this.

[@otf.snpr73]

I can‘t take Dr Bryant serious… something about her is wrong

[@jennifernabrahamable]

what do you mean?

[@afroaffirmation]

I know what you mean. For me its like shes so set on being right, that she doesn't listen or show any real empathy. I find her overbearing and cold. She talks too much.

[@dreamythebeauty7459]

I feel the same, I can’t put my finger on it but something is off… could just be we don’t mesh with her

[@sedi2066]

Idk im no expert but i think shes very insightful and clearly well versed in the psychology space But i think despite how warm she tries to come across it doesnt resonate and so it seems a bit disingenuous. Ive learnt with time that the camera is hyper sensitive to any fake vibes 2. I think she isnt as self aware as she thinks esp as it pertains to her relationship with her mother and father. 3. I think the disconnect with her parents is the reason shes still single and childless (and its a dry observation i dont mean any malice by this) 4. I think she unknowingly doesnt respect ghe boundaries of the people she speaks to. Even when its clear they are uncomfortable she persists to prove a point and or because she might be those people who think discomfort is a sign of progress I enjoy watching anything shes a part of because i see so much of myself in her😂 but again i might just be projecting

[@PhrankBlunt]

My only take is her inserting *herself* in her "clients" place..or is this just conversation style therapy amongst "girl talk"? The conversation triangulates back to her. 🤔👂

[@DeBellanadi]

I’m trying to figure out who taught the generation before us to be super male centered and put others before themselves ? Like know that our generation is working on fixing the damaged that has been done , you would think it would be common sense? … it’s frustrating but I blame hotep culture for lying to these women in the 90’s that they were Gods and we should follow them … but of course there’s more factors that just the hoteps and the black male worship culture

[@rebeccabrown-nc5cx]

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[@morganjesse226]

I'm feeling really motivated. Could you share some details about the bi-weekly topic you brought up?

[@rebeccabrown-nc5cx]

Yeah sounds impossible, yet with Christina Ann Tucker, I've come to the conclusion that financially anything is possible. I got my self my dream car 🚗 just last weekend and a whooping $320k in savings already, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in debt then told me about her and how to change my life through her. Christina A. Tucker is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good wife, and a beautiful daughter. Note!:: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!!

[@coolman123cool12]

Wow 😱 I know her too! Miss Christina Ann Tucker is a remarkable individual whom has brought immense positivity and inspiration into my life.

[@coolman123cool12]

I got started with a miserly $1500. The results have been mind blowing I must say TBH!!

[@gladysstewart825]

[@YoungRiaz]

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