The Mums Who Get Their Babies Taken Away ​| Part 1 | Full Episode | Origin

Child protection levels in Britain are at a record high. On average, one child is taken into care in Britain every 20 minutes. Over 15,000 children were waiting to be adopted last year - double what it was only five years ago.
With unparalleled access to the entire adoption process, this three part documentary series follows social workers, foster carers, birth parents and adopters as heart-wrenchingly difficult decisions are made about the future of some of Britain’s most vulnerable children.
Executive produced by Brian Woods and series directed by Chris Eley this in-depth three part series follows the entire adoption process from the parents who are desperately fighting to keep their children to the couples eagerly waiting to become adoptive parents and bring a child into their home.
The process begins with the most difficult decision of all: the decision to remove a child from its birth family. This episode follows the social workers whose job it is to take children away from their parents and recommend whether they should ever return; and parents who are desperately fighting to keep their children.
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[@wendylawton8274]

As a foster mother and later an adoptive mother I've always felt that young parents like Emily should be offered a foster home for her and her baby together. She's a little girl herself and needs to be mentored and given an out from her abusive, controlling partner.

[@alliemackenzie1575]

I'm about to become a foster mom, and I want to take them both! Emily needs somewhere safe as much as her baby does, and I feel like she could be a wonderful mom if she got mothered a bit too.

[@christinamarie9123]

My mom always wanted to do that. But she already had her hands full with raising 8 of her own children, 3 being special needs, but it was always in her heart ❤️

[@ashleyosborne8969]

I more than agree, with support for her it could've worked!

[@sepnyte9422]

Isn't that an option in the UK? I've been under the impression that there is something called 'mother and baby placements' where a mother can stay with the baby and the fostercarer.

[@LethoHali]

Exactly! These kids need their mums!

[@1helluvawomen]

If Matthew acts like that in a room full of people and a camera…just imagine how he acts when those things are not there.😵

[@sherribrawn3757]

I know right! He's a dangerous narcissist who needs to be removed from a relationship with Emily, and the baby!

[@erinkathleentaylor1771]

💯

[@attitudeproblem6462]

If he’s that abusive to a social worker, imagine how he is w/ that girl who looks _much_ younger than him😒😒😒

[@jojobee42]

True! He can't hide his aggressiveness even in front of the cameras. Plus his face looks like a chronic alcoholic's face...

[@kasualbeauty309]

Yeah but imagine having someone try to take your baby from you and how volatile you would become you wouldn’t just sit there like oh yes ma’am

[@silverdoe9477]

I wish there were more “new mom homes” keeping mother & baby together, supporting them through the first stages as long as it’s safe. No one benefits from separating them, it’s a broken dangerous system. Studies have shown that mothers are more motivated to get better if they receive support & treatment WITH their child.

[@amarillo856]

I lost custody of my son due to homelessness and I agree with you that would help tremendously. Thankfully I won custody back 2 yrs ago

[@Lynn.Miles.]

The right thing to do .

[@queenofthebutterflies5212]

@@amarillo856 So sorry for what you went thru and so happy you got your son back. Can't imagine the agony of what you were put thru by them, you poor thing

[@clairejiang1159]

agreed. children should only be taken away from parents in extreme cases. In most cases, they are better with their own parents than being adopted.

[@ChocolateFreak66]

In germany we have such homes for young or teenage mums or dads and Baby, such ashame that in the uk the dont

[@BrittneyM7777]

I got on a plane with my 2 babies and FLED while my abuser was at work. He is an evil human being. I left EVERYTHING BEHIND. We flew across the country to my mom's farm and I never looked back! Sometimes you have to remove the abuser or you will lose your babies. Leaving was the Best decision I ever made

[@capebeauty4499]

@brittney M. Good for you. You saved a life/ or two.

[@Lunarapparition88]

I can't imagine I've experienced abuse but not involving my son so I couldn't imagine what you went through so glad you and your kids are ok be safe and I wish you and the kids nothing but happiness and love 💕

[@melissachatwin9673]

all very well and good u till the courts get involved, your abuser demands custody or visitation, and you're then subject to conditions like where you can live, notifying them of any moves you make and stopping you from leaving the state or area, even for a holiday or to visit family. Tbh courts and cps are complicit in the continuing abuse of women and their children.

[@Duhfuk]

Or your abuser gets a lawyer and says you’ve kidnapped your child and deal with custody battles for the next 18 years. A lot of us can never escape these pricks

[@thejessicawilliamswithyoun4946]

You can lose your abuser and then your children anyways 💔

[@HeatherSmith-momof4]

I had to leave my kids father in order to get my kids back from foster care.. my life has never been better!

[@mistyfly2me]

I wish my daughter would had left her “it”. But she chose him over the kids. Sad sad sad. He kicked her out to move in his “woman” a year later wanted her back and she went back. It’s sad

[@helenawarsinnak]

Good for u!! You did the best thing for ur children and of course urself!! I wish u and ur children much love and happiness!!🙏💜

[@sandidobberke9859]

I'm glad my mom shows us one point not my real father I'm kind of sad that my mom chose my stepdad and not me in another instance but it turned out okay

[@iceicetina5876]

Good for you! I hope other mothers can be as strong❤

[@mikehawk4388]

You're awesome; your kids' lives will be so much more stable & safe because of that choice. It's insane how many people don't put their kids first... navigating through domestic & substance abuse (alongside being way too young to be mums) can be difficult & scary, but there's a lot of resources out there that's a google search away for anyone in a similar situation. I hope every mom can experience the freedom you fought hard for!

[@lilyflower5576]

The sad thing is its a lot of times the "man" that needs to be removed. Not the child

[@lulunz6809]

She had that choice when the baby was removed from her care. She chose him over the baby sadly. Even if he was in prison, without help, she would still be under his control or she would choose another man who is similar. She needs long term therapy and support. In the meantime, while she is learning, baby needs to be safe.

[@naelyneurkopfen9741]

It's sad that a lot of times the "woman" is the one who needs you be removed. Women are far from innocent.

[@halfbloodprincess989]

She might not want to dump him, in which case that baby can't stay with her, but she also might just be scared to leave. *They didn't even offer her a place in a safehouse for her and the kid.* She seems to be a very loving joung mom to her baby. Yes, she's young, but she'd develop into a strong mom separated from the abusive boyfriend.

[@lulunz6809]

@@halfbloodprincess989 You can't tell that from what is being shown here and if she had gone to any type of therapy, or if he had been arrested when the Police were involved in their domestic disputes, she would have been offered or told about safe houses. Having her baby removed from their care is quite a way down the track of the process of interventions.

[@thetruepatriot7733]

If the mother chooses to stay with the man then the child should be removed.. the sad thing is that many of these women choose a man over their child..

[@jewel7322]

As a former child services worker, these social workers shouldn’t be going on their homes on their own when delivering news the parents don’t want to receive. It’s very dangerous.

[@jessiejo3042]

Child services workers are the biggest lying scumbags on the planet

[@Nicole-wx8jy]

Agree - in the US there is usually 2 people that go and removals are attended by police

[@auntyvenom133]

Agree! We had a case in Canada, year's ago, where a Indigenous mother scalped a social worker because she thought he was taking her children away ( he wasn't. ) The worker is completely traumatised, of course, & the woman received a 7 year prison sentence. The presiding judge, regarding the scalping, said to her, "I didn't know you people still did that!"😖

[@karensamuels390]

Yes, i agree. I didnt see your older post. The sw couldve been in jeopardy.

[@fannyboni472]

@@auntyvenom133 i Google it, i find nothing. Search it on KZbin, nothing either..

[@dingdongfootball5331]

Why did they not connect Emily with resources for domestic violence victims? This was extremely sad. If she could escape her abuser she could have a chance at being an excellent mother.

[@laurajane4806]

They don't do that. If she had chosen to find a DV group on her own, that would have saved her, but they don't tell them that. They just lay out the rope and watch them hang.

[@beckkavenia3769]

Because these hotshots think they know what's best and somehow have the authority to break up families. While DCS can come into great use for some very serious cases, a whole lot of the social workers are pompous POS who aren't any better than the struggling parents themselves. They do not have mother and child in their best interest, they just want control. They're mostly all on power trips.

[@karensheehan2878]

Because the social services people earn a wage to do this. Foster carers get paid for the kids. These people destroy families and children so they can feel good about themselves and a job and thereby rid their own kids of future competition. I don't blame Matthew for being angry with these ponces.

[@machinegurlll]

Because our society loves to blame and demonize DV victims, would rather steal her baby than get her actual help. Good job guys

[@rjbarton2010]

Actually as a former foster mom, they are required to provide her services or at least offered it to her. In the usa, they would have given Emily an option to be placed in foster care with her child. She needed support and to deny her support and take her baby is evil and hurts both mom and baby, All foster kids have issues even if they were removed at day 1. All children need and require their birth mom and the effects of not having the birth mom, research is showing it can have a drastic impact on the child.@@laurajane4806

[@i_bleed_makeup1187]

I feel sorry for Emily. She's 18yrs old and had a baby with a 40yr old man who is dominating every aspect of her life. Poor sweet girl. She's so brainwashed by him. I hope the best for her. She's such a kind, sweet soul.

[@capebeauty4499]

You make this assumption on a short video where she knows she is being filmed and watched by a social worker. Okay.

[@daver1787]

She seems to be of diminished intelligence

[@glendarobinson2360]

I wonder where is her family.she definitely needs help and a lot of support and from what little I have seen she definitely needs to get away from the nut sac

[@Lisa_MS64]

@@glendarobinson2360 can you imagine what they're like??

[@glendarobinson2360]

@@Lisa_MS64 most likely 2 wacked out idiots she probably don't have any one who showed what real love is, I mean where is her grand parents or auntie's and uncles and cousins . she more likely than not have anyone that can teach her to love and value herself and that my friend is sad

[@flauscheballchen2855]

Mathew is a prime example for someone who should not have kids..

[@amygarrison3664]

He shouldn't even have a baby doll or a stuffed dog..I wouldn't trust him OUTSIDE my house nevermind in my family..talk about sleeping with the enemy 😒 if he wanted to be a miserable prick then he should have done that by himself..

[@matemahe]

@@barbarabarlow1535 no joke we should fix those ppl. Their kids never reach full potential

[@Knotted321]

@@matemahe do you mean with a labotamy or sterilization? Cause I think that both would be appropriate for someone like him. (he is similar to my bio mom)

[@KendallM0219]

@@Knotted321 Let's not go back down the pathway of Eugenics.

[@JuMiKu]

@@matemahe Great job victimising innocent kids. That is the most unscientific claim I've ever heard and offensive to boot. How would you know what their potential was?

[@Princessbuttercupish]

I am a social worker in Australia and our system is completely different. The ideal for us is that children stay with their parents, we have them go to parenting classes and I'll shadow them at home so I can observe/help them until everybody is satisfied they're doing better. It takes a seriously dangerous situation for them to be completely removed.

[@ByeByeBelly]

Here in Australia, kids are unlikely to be removed for inadequate reasons, but some case workers will absolutely harass parents in their homes for no good reason, or for extremely prolonged periods when it's completely unnecessary

[@wsrtwetr]

Yup I can second this. You will leave children in seriously unsave homes out of 'reunification' at all cost. Also a lot of private companies that child protection outsource to will be paid a bonus base on how many children they kept at home instead of removal. Essentially dcp does not care about child safety, hell in some states they even state it is ok for parents to be addicted to substances and have their children as long as they don't do it in front of them or is drunk/high in front of them. Website telling people not to call about these issues as parents who are on drugs are allowed to keep their kids. You should be ashamed of your profession. I once have to leave a hungry child with her visibly drunk mother at home who didn't even have a cup to drink from because the sink was filled with dirty dishes, clums of hair dirt and food covered the floor and he describe mice crawling out of his sofa. But guess what? Human services says it's ok because she is a drunk it's what they would expect. When I left, she got a taxi driver to buy her booze. And I haven't even gotten into RPI yet. RPI is a dirty code you use to throw children away - resource prevents intervention as the department calls it. Basically, yes the child needs help but we don't have enough case workers so they can go eff themselves and good luck - in the trash it goes. Anyone with morals would quit working for dcp. Hence never trust a child protection worker. Until they overhaul the whole system we are simply failing children in Australia as they truly do not matter since they can't vote.

[@vo6172]

How it should be !! Thank you 😊

[@not.the.game.destiny2694]

Here in Australia only way you don't get them back is it you don't try or give up or a super bad situation

[@vo6172]

@@not.the.game.destiny2694 how it should be in other places too. In Canada (western) areas they can spin anything if you even raise your voice.

[@karensamuels390]

Matthew suddenly acts so calm and loving....all in his relief to be rid of the child and deepen his power over Emily. So obvious.

[@kdaze10]

The guy who doesn't think he's "controlling" creeps me TF out. One of those guys who thinks it's okay to beat your wife if she gets out of line. 😑

[@sherribrawn3757]

That creepy feeling you've got with Matthew is a woman's intuition at optimum level. Feelings like those protect us as women, and then when we have children even more so

[@aldranzam3456]

An adult acting like a snarky toddler- dangerously oblivious to his own issues

[@dawnroache9391]

It's crazy he's going to hurt someone.

[@1186wolf]

I know a country that do just that ok to beat the wife or even Kill them!

[@TaylorXo5]

If the mother needs to leave the father to get her child back then thats what she should do..he clearly is the reason the baby is staying gone!

[@5thdimension625]

I’m a retired social worker and I can’t tell you how many women sacrifice their child for their lousy boyfriend. Priorities are all messed up

[@caylee246]

100% agree. If my kids dad was the reason I couldn't have my kids at home with me then bye sorry. Doesn't matter we've been together however many years. Kids come first.

[@leeleeb7413]

How are people attracted to people that would hurt a child anyway? Like, really. I hate kids and I’d still be repulsed by someone who hurts them. Where does the attraction come from??

[@5thdimension625]

@@leeleeb7413 from their own unhealed wounded past in childhood.

[@suzybrat2945]

He claims it's all lies and then proceeds to put on display his issues.

[@IronFistVelvetGloveX]

Emily agreeing to the adoption proved she sacrificed her own wants for that baby to have a better life. Hopefully if she has other kids she will have them with someone who has his act together a lot more than that guy.

[@bjjjb3056]

Emily seems like she has the potential to be a good mom

[@username.not.known2473]

That Matthew should never be permitted near children. Or women.

[@feministmermaid4769]

Hear hear.

[@lynneufeld3175]

He needs tobe put down

[@diannebush800]

If he acted like that in a bar, he would get beaten

[@michelebrown5280]

He’s got a nerve criticizing the people who care for his child more than he does.

[@justanotheronlineobserver3387]

Or other men. Generally people in general

[@_______ACE_______]

Emily completely breaks my heart- she radiates pure, kindness and love. She is able to be her best person as soon as she is away from Matthew. She chose not to contest the decision because she wants to do what’s best for Sophie. As soon as Matthew is near Emily she is cowering and hunched over. I hope she realizes she deserves more and better than Matthew. I hope she finds the strength to leave. She is just a child. ❤️

[@sofiajohnson197]

Why wouldn’t they give her a chance and just tell her she can’t be with him. Then she should be able to take baby home

[@lulunz6809]

@@sofiajohnson197 She would have had it clearly spelled out to her. He's not the only problem in that relationship. As they say, it takes two to tango. The Police had been involved many times. If she doesn't change she will just find another man like him. Removing him is not the only answer to this problem.

[@jt5426]

Her body language as they sat on the couch was heart breaking! 😢 someone need to save Emily from that narcissistic piece of work. It's all about HIM, how they are unfair to HIM. And how Emily broke HIS daughter's bowl. Holy moly.

[@tihannabear]

This. If only they encouraged her that if she left him she could keep Sophie, be realistic, her life wouldn't be ruined. Next update, Emily is on the streets, a drug user because she's so friggin' depressed. IT ISN'T OKAY. THIS STUFF IS CREATED.

[@chocolatecake1865]

Matthew is the problem. The way he talks to her just makes me feels so uncomfortable.

[@marcieanderson6601]

I went to apply to be a foster parent and was turned away immediately because i am in a wheelchair. I was devastated. We would be a loving foster home and so many kiddos need love.❤

[@daddysangeljetta]

What that’s absolutely against the law you need to contact the news channel in your area and obtain a lawyer please do not allow them to do this my father was wheel chair bound and he was the most amazing father and mentor ever he did everything with me and was involved in all my extra curricular. Please take action this is sickening unacceptable and completely against the law

[@Hedwig-gj2di]

Yeah, pretty sure this is discrimination against people with disabilities and that is literally against the law. I mean, I don't know your limits, only you know, or maybe you have next to no limits at all! But the very least they could've done is just give you less kids to take care of? But they just completely turned you away? That is disgusting!! I've seen parents take care of their children with all kinds of disabilities!

[@wsrtwetr]

A lot of these children are... depending age... not the safest to be around even for adults who are not in a wheelchair. Perhaps that is their reason. Not a sound one but I can it potentially being one they are thinking of. Most of these children are traumatise and broken. They are not sweet an innocent as the public like to believe. They have been hurt deeply and often do not receive the appropriate psychological care they need to recover. There are some things love alone can't fix.

[@sheribrougham4863]

If you are in a wheel chair you can't do cpr or run to catch a kid on the run.

[@_mzloburke]

Matthew is a lost cause. It is sickening how he can't see he is a danger to his family. Lord help that child.

[@jadeinthewoods]

Matthew is in denial about his aggression. He can’t even stay calm at a meeting where his behavior is being observed by social workers. I think he honestly doesn’t see it. He sees himself as a victim and feels he needs to fight his way out of this situation but fighting is the worst thing he can do. A lot of people who were raised in chaotic homes, live chaotic lives and it feels normal to them. They don’t know any different. I hope he gets the help he needs.

[@PaulaEdwina]

I'd say that he's not in denial. He feels entitled to it.

[@melrye7350]

@@PaulaEdwina 100%

[@PaulaEdwina]

@@melrye7350, I grew up with it. I totally recognize that behavior.

[@Taylor_mamaof2]

Exactly. He is incredibly emotionally immature and needs anger management. Therapy would help too. I wouldn’t be surprised if his father acted the same way towards him and his mother when growing up. He’s just mimicking what he’s always known.

[@brittaolson6550]

@@PaulaEdwina It’s possible to be both. My ex certainly was both. I was surprised that he admitted some of the lies he’d been telling himself, to excuse being abusive. Despite his progress, he still would not see a counselor familiar with domestic violence with me, so I ended a 12 year marriage because he’s not safe for me to be around. He didn’t want to have it in his medical record which may be a valid concern, but is also part of being accountable. He absolutely felt entitled to be abusive, also.

[@dianethompson2458]

I adopted a three week old baby in 1986. His birth mother had been drunk basically for the first 4 months of her pregnancy. His father and I gave him a loving home, and tried our very best to be supportive. He began drinking heavily and taking drugs at age 12. We took him to therapists doctors and even a child psychiatrist. He was diagnosed with fetal alcohol effect. He became increasingly violent and actually threatened to kill me. His father was away quite a bit and I was quite frankly terrified of him. My husband and I are now divorced. My son is 34 years old now and a homeless meth addict. Despite all of the hardships all three of us have faced I love my son with all my heart. I just hope he has a chance to get clean and sober and live a decent life. He knows he can count on me. That is all anyone can ask. Every child deserves a loving home. I tried my very best but it was not good enough. Thank you for reading this.

[@amygarrison3664]

It was good enough, sometimes who someone is at their very core is just broken and nobody but themselves can fix it..I was a vicious iv drug user for 20 years and it didn't matter what my grandmother did to help me until I helped myself it just wouldn't stick but I have been off heroin for 6+ years and everything else for 4+ and it worked then because I wanted it I wanted to feel whole, to feel human again and since then I have found the love of my life and I just look to such a bright future Just have faith in your child and like you said keep being there for him so when his day of awakening comes you'll be the 1st loving face he sees when the fog clears..just know it's not your fault or anything you did or didn't do, and I'm sure you did more than enough..just keep praying and know you are not alone and you should seek alanon because it will teach you a lot..you are in my prayers now as well, you and your son xo

[@lauratogni2472]

You tried your best, that will always be enough.

[@jessicaellina3878]

So sorry ,Diane. FAS is so diffucult to cope with.. you did your best as a loving mum... l wish you and your son peace ...

[@teresacox2511]

Sounds like he would’ve been just as well off if they had left him with his mommy. She couldn’t have done any worse or any better than you did. The government needs to take a long walk off a short pier and mind their own damned business. Leave children and parents alone. Children are tougher than people think they are. They can thrive and survive in much tougher situations than others think they can.

[@dianethompson2458]

@@amygarrison3664 Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so glad to hear you are doing so well. You are amazing. Your story gives me hope.

[@Angel_xoxo973]

Matthew is visibly verbally and mentally abusive toward Emily. He said he’s never hurt children. News flash, children grow up into teenagers like Emily is. The way he’s treating Emily and every adult in that room is a clear indication why he should not be a parent to his daughter. He’s riled up over a bowl that probably cost $3. Winning an argument and making his partner feel like trash are more important than getting his daughter back. It’s so sad. My heart breaks for Emily 💔

[@AdeHida]

I am amazed by the patience of the social workers. They are composed, firm, controlled but also compassionate. I almost lost patience myself just watching these "parents", especially Mathew.

[@feministmermaid4769]

Matthew gives me vivid flashbacks to some awful middle school boys I taught, and him a full-grown man. Despicable.

[@corinavasquez3285]

I worked with elementary students and it's sad how you just know what these kids are going to grow up to be. I've had kindergartners that I just know are sociopaths

[@leebass4833]

He’s scary and controlling

[@Zwoelfeline]

His mental maturity is at the level of a three year old

[@lonimarie9661]

@@corinavasquez3285 better you are great di know your not doing it for the money .

[@lonimarie9661]

All we can do is hope for the best . Children that have been brought up in what we would say perfect homes could end up just as bad or worse,

[@lythiascanlon2131]

As a legal professional for 25 years, I have met Matthew hundreds of times. These abusive and narcissistic individuals have zero insight into how their antisocial behavior is at the crux of their problems. It's everyone else's fault, and everyone is against them and incompetent. I hope the patient and understanding care workers are still at work putting innocent children first. God bless them.

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

I guess this guy has some mental handicap, too, according to intelligence. Handicap and narcissism are some kind of explosive, uh?

[@betsyjohnson9213]

Ty for standing up and saying this, many GOOD workers are labeled bad for putting a child's safety and welfare first.

[@dianehess5520]

Well said, there is no changing them.

[@murphychurch8251]

Well, at least this one is a stupid narcissistic and abusive individual, so it was obvious to the social workers that the baby needs to be removed from him. Hopefully Emily will manage to leave this p.o.s....and yes, I hope this guy will some day meet someone like himself and his behaviour fires back on him. Just to imagine this type, but smart. Those who don't get their children taken because they manage to deceive everyone who matters. That is even more scary.

[@DX-d]

@@betsyjohnson9213 well people can just smash their heads into the wall. A child’s safety is paramount.

[@kellysnider5138]

Oh my, Matthew is a scary man. Poor Emily. Sweetheart needs to be rescued just as much as her baby does. :( One day she will wake up and realize Matthew was a horrible person who literally destroyed her life. Ugh.

[@pascalelandry8630]

Unfortunatly some women don't want to leave their partner. We can't save them from themselves.

[@AllThingsClarice]

Sorry but it’s not just Mathew in my opinion but he is the worse out the two but the mother seems to me manipulated and not the full shilling so to speak. That child I’m afraid is best away from both and that’s my opinion only

[@lesw3803]

Bless Sophie’s mother for putting Sophie first. I hope she gets her life sorted out and has a beautiful future

[@calamityqueen6148]

Matthew says he's never hurt a child??? Oh yes he has. Emily is still a child.

[@solidstate9451]

He was very specific: "I never hurt a child, I never hurt a child" -> he not once said: "I never hurt anybody". Perhaps he never had the opportunity to hurt a child?

[@calamityqueen6148]

@@solidstate9451 Emily is still a child and he HAS hurt her.

[@luvll3925]

@@solidstate9451 she is 18 considering the fact they have a baby I’m sure they’ve been involved long befroe

[@MoonChild145]

Fourteen other counts as mentioned by the social workers. Matthew may not harmed children but he is capable of domestic abuse which traumatizes children in the household all the same.

[@MillennialMountainMama]

She’s a legal adult wtf 😳

[@servicedogangelthunder135]

They definitely failed Emily and sofie. Leaving an abusive and toxic relationship is difficult and hard. Matthew is definitely abusive and controlling and you can tell by how he was talking in the meeting and how he behaves around Emily. You can tell Emily is shut down and scared of him. They should of helped her get out of the abusive relationship and helped her have a life with her daughter.

[@dietotaku]

i will say one positive thing about the way CPS works in america, and that's the resources they give you to help you remedy the problem. even at intake, they will separate mom & dad and interview them each privately so an abusive partner can't influence the other's answers, they can identify a toxic dynamic and warn the victim and help them form an exit plan without the abuser's knowledge.

[@halfbloodprincess989]

That's what I think too! It's not like it's _easy_ for a young woman, who by what was shown has no significant family support system, to _leave_ an abusive boyfriend. She might not want to, in which case that baby can't stay with her, but she also might just be scared to leave. She doesn't seem stupid, but they didn't even offer her a place in a safehouse for her and the kid.

[@karyndewit193]

Agreed because she seemed to be a pretty caring mom w her daughter.

[@evastar4526]

She should first help herself by stop being destructive and fall for people like this individual. I don't think people like her should be helped. They just keep making more and more destructive decisions.

[@halfbloodprincess989]

@@evastar4526 People like that aren't making bad decitions in a vaccum. Usually they come from broken families and land themselves in these situations because that's how their dad treated their mum and they don't think their feelings matter. They absultutly should be helped. This young mum should at least be offered a place at a safehouse and a therapy. She'll start making good decitions under such conditions.

[@tp8087]

Emily should have been taken away from that abusive predator. She seems like a great lady and she was groomed so young and I'm devastated for her and the baby.

[@ruthlys]

The fact that 18 yr old was willing to not contest because she knew they’d take the child regardless - speaks volumes of her. And the fact that the social workers basically told her we are taking kid and if you dare disagree we will make it worse is absolutely shameful. I agree with those we question why she and child were not placed together. And the decision to take children away permanently after just a few weeks is so very . . . Unethical to me. There is no reason to so tightly limit the time they have to improve. Seems as if they really consider any progress seriously.

[@laurajane4806]

Most babies are never returned as people under 2 are the most adoptable.

[@wsrtwetr]

It's not shameful for the social workers to threaten emily. Because if she dragged it out, it would delay the chances of baby being adopted. The real victim here is the defenceless baby not emily who chooses to be with a man who had 40 incidents with the police. People really be defending a useless adult over a defenceless baby smh.

[@ruthlys]

@@wsrtwetr that argument is only valid if one KNOWS the mom is worthless. The defenseless baby deserves their mother unless it is proven the mom cannot or will not care for the child. Smh

[@powerfulraisin]

​@@wsrtwetrEmily was likely a child when she met abusive partner.

[@iloilee]

Oh my god. Matthew is like a 2 year old child stuck in an adult’s body. I feel so bad for Emily and everyone else who has to deal with him

[@Rebecca-zm9ri]

I don't feel bad for Emily. She's choosing to stay with him

[@notmyrealname4978]

@@Rebecca-zm9ri it’s not always easy to leave a abuse/toxic relationship

[@annacarter6559]

I would take away every cent from his parents and give them to therapists to help him and the child

[@socalgal714]

@@notmyrealname4978 the right decisions arent usually easy. But we all do it anyway. The only reason a woman stays is fear. I have little respect for that excuse. There are just too many agencies willing to help for there to be *any* reason to stay. Either you leave or you deserve what you get.

[@Lily_ofthevall3y]

@@socalgal714 çç

[@tamaraandersson2532]

If feel so bad for Emily. She'd never would have wound up pregnant at 17 with a much older, obviously dysfunctional and aggressive man if she'd had a healthy, normal upbringing. Can't imagine what her childhood was like.

[@TheMistresssabrina]

Problem is Emily doesn't know she can make it without Matthew. He has her so beaten down that she feels this is all she deserves so taking her kids away is literally what she expected to happen and at home he is beating her and telling her it is her fault and she is believing it. Govt needs to be offering Emily a way out a place to stay, a way to make money, a safety plan, counseling, so she can get her kids back. At the contact center there should have been a counselor there to offer her services when Matthew was not there. She is so young and I feel like there could be prevention of more kids from her that go into the system.

[@MCLamb1984]

I feel so desperately sad for Emily. I cannot even begin to comprehend how that horrible man who fathered her child is even allowed near Emily, let alone the baby.

[@gillianbrookwell1678]

Emily's partner Matthew is uncooperative, disrespectful, rude and aggressive to these social workers; He seems to kick off over nothing, his daughter's bowl getting broken. No wonder they thought this baby was in danger in such a volatile home. I think Emily would have a better chance of regaining custody of her daughter if Matthew was out of the picture.

[@thehangmansdaughter1120]

It's clear Emily needs to be protected from Matthew just as much as that baby. His inability to control himself is having a devastating effect on that sweet young woman and is negatively shaping her life. She would stand a much better chance of regaining custody of her baby without him, but that would leave her open to the same harassment and abuse as the social workers. Can she stand up to that? I don't think so, or she would have done it already.

[@username.not.known2473]

@@thehangmansdaughter1120 She needs parents who give a damn about her. She should be in a shelter, getting therapeutic deprogramming because he is abusive.

[@mistyfly2me]

She won’t leave him probably. I’m sure he does the come back to me thing we’ll also. My daughter lost 4 children for similar situation. Not as bad but still lost the children.

[@erynkathrynorr9334]

Yeah she definitely would stand better chances without him imo . I don’t understand him ?? I get being angry but there’s consequences for your behavior!! He seems to think just because he’s never hit a child that Sophie would be safe w him !!! It’s just as unhealthy for a child to see their mother verbally n physically abused !!! What a dumbass 🙄

[@christinamitrovich7554]

@@erynkathrynorr9334 some people will just never get that and make no effort to better themselves. He is such a loser. I also explained this very same concept to my own partner too.

[@forgottenpixel]

They made the absolute right decision with Emily and Matthew. I am sorry but the fact that Emily refused to give up Matthew for own daughter shows she's not ready yet to be responsible for a dog let alone another human being.

[@littledotti6808]

I agree with everything you said unfortunately this girl puts her partner before her child and it's really really sad but this girl is too young and she needs a lot of growing up to do as for her choice of partner yeah this guy really needs swift kick up the yahoo

[@clramos81]

100% I was hoping she’d say I’ll leave him so I can raise my child. She made the wrong choice and I’m sure she’ll pump out more kids from him to get taken away or he’ll end up killing her .

[@jazz3799]

She won’t leave him because she’s not even ready to be responsible for herself yet. Did they say how old he is? With her being barely 18, him being controlling and violent, this looks like a grooming situation to me. Wish she would have gotten some help to be able to leave him before the final decision was made

[@jaay.fl0wfamily68]

I agree with everyone but what if she’s scared of him he look way much older than her and probably be beating on her we honestly don’t know what happens when the cameras go off & behind closed doors

[@mikehawk4388]

@@jaay.fl0wfamily68 age of consent in a lot of places over there is around 16. Way too young to be a parent; way too young to avoid grooming. I don't doubt it could've happened even before 16, though. Bad people tend to take advantage of that.

[@sassysucculent6291]

As a mom of 3 kids, this just breaks me. I can’t imagine. I’m also thankful the man I chose to marry and become my children’s father, is a wonderful loving man and father. Goodness.

[@AimeeKateKelly]

I know my heart breaks for the women whose babies are taken the moment they give birth . Absolutely unfathomable

[@abigaelrarts2257]

i heard some good advice once: before deciding who u r going to have children with, ask yourself that if your child turned out exactly like your partner, would you still choose them? this is why i'm excited to have children w my husband, for one we've had conversations about parenting and i think he'll be great at it and also bc he is so wonderful❤ his influence is going to be so positive ❤ unfortunately not everyone has had a good enough upbringing so they can't recognize red flags or believe they don't deserve respect and a healthy relationship

[@LexFulton]

I despise social workers who make a living criticizing others when half of them have never raised a child their self.

[@debshaw680]

Poor Emily. She doesn’t seem all that bright and I don’t think she’s a super willing partner. But it’s clear how much she loves her baby. I can’t imagine losing one of mine. Hopefully she can break away and get her life sorted.

[@ambernelson4149]

It seems like Emily is just used to being bullied. Her dad, or mom probably bullied her and nos she just takes it.

[@hxdcm]

She is probably confusing bullying with loving behavior, since that's how she's been treated her whole life :(

[@godsrabbit9452]

Abuse can make you seem like a lot of things… even seeming “not bright” …

[@Polisciandfries]

It's honestly shocking that they don't intervene to protect her, just because she's aged out of being a child? Barely? She's only 18, and mentally she's clearly younger and clearly being abused.

[@penelopesanchez1679]

She’s not very smart and this is why she’s able to be controlled by Matthew. He is with her because he can tell her what to do and they know she will be with him which puts her and that baby at risk.

[@peacefulheart9228]

the mom and baby should be adopted together - this is heartbreaking.

[@margaretboyle8719]

Good idea: YOU DO IT and pay for her and the rest of the children she will most likely have for the rest of YOUR LIFE. The parents (hopefully a married couple) who adopt that baby are ACTUALLY DOING a good deed.

[@peacefulheart9228]

@@margaretboyle8719 If I had the money i would. But, you are right of course. not realistic.

[@margaretboyle8719]

@@peacefulheart9228 Some people are so deformed morally that they CANNOT be helped. I have met them, all they do is DESTROY.

[@renataostertag6051]

Agree!

[@trulyamazing2972]

Yes I agree

[@catgiles3268]

Someone needs to help and protect Emily too. Mathew can’t even control his anger in front of the people who have control over the future of his child. He absolutely has signs of being abusive and I pray for Emily’s safety.

[@BisquickTheBaboon]

So has Emily come up missing yet or are we still pretending Matthew isn't going to seriously hurt someone one day?

[@leebass4833]

If he gets so mad over something so small can you imagine what he would do to the baby if she didn’t mind him it’s scary 😧

[@pamelas1002]

Right!

[@youtuber4155]

I was thinking that too! He doesnt even have enough sense to behave for them knowing his behavior is the reason they took his child.

[@pamelas1002]

@@youtuber4155 Exactly!

[@penelopesanchez1679]

@@youtuber4155 because deep down he is purposely sabotaging the entire thing. Deep down, I don’t think he wants the baby back in the household. He probably wants to control Emily and that’s easier to do when he commands her full attention.

[@ThelrishRover]

im autistic and have very bad misophonia around babies crying hence why im not having kids cus i know i couldnt cope with it i dont get why people like him have kids like im 17 and i know i shouldnt have them cus i couldnt deal with it so theres no excuse smfh hope emily gets away from him

[@SS-by5mm]

I found it heartbreaking how some of these young women lost their kids. Being stuck in an abusive relationship and losing your baby… I can’t even imagine.

[@patty7791]

S S: Baby trumps Emily: Emily can make decisions regarding her welfare, baby CAN’T! Thank GOD for social workers!

[@sarai5467]

No one is stuck in a abusive relationship in England, we have a great support system and benefits for housing, food and childcare are always available for single parents . I left a abusive marriage and never needed social services, I went to a lawyer and made court orders for the safety of my kids and moved , most of these women won't even change there phone number because they love the attention. my kids never had any kind of care orders because I was not willing to put them at risk while one of my long term friends happily puts her children at risk to a violent man, the father of only a couple of the kids even though she was moved to a new home and provided plenty of support . Dont listen to half of these sob stories from women as its just excuses. I'm a survivor of horrific domestic abuse and I've never once been at risk of losing my kids because my kids came first . Every one of these women will say he loves her ! Kids should not be forced into these relationships because a mother won't sleep alone

[@SS-by5mm]

@@sarai5467 You sound pretty ignorant. Just because you made it out in your situation does not mean anyone can. Look up the term “survivor bias”.

[@thepinkestpigglet7529]

@@sarai5467 everyone is stuck in their mind. That's how you get stuck in an abusive relationship, nit access to resources

[@marteumar8429]

“Stuck in abusive relationship” is just another way to refer to slags who choose old crusty dick over their kids and dignity

[@retro.raider]

If he’s flipping out over a bowl being broken, imagine how he’s going to act when the kid breaks something or does something wrong. Stuff breaks, it happens. that’s exactly why they don’t want him around his baby daughter. It’s crazy how someone can be so blind to their own behaviour.

[@blythe4567]

As a co-founder/director of a nonprofit-supervised visitation center, I viewed this documentary as transparent and heartbreakingly real

[@mikaylabilbie5597]

emily seems like such a sweet girl that really wants her daughter, but can't leave matthew because she's scared.

[@turtley8883]

Scared and emotionally broken from his abuse

[@reginamushi6582]

And that Matthew looks like someone who drinks alot...just looking at him with a trained eye..not judging

[@melrye7350]

@@reginamushi6582 he looks always angry too. He tries to smile in the interviews etc but his eyes are cold. Expressive, but really cold. Dude has rage bubbling under the surface 😳

[@rentiadutoit3526]

If she cant leave him,she is not ready or emotional enough to be an mother. An mother put her childs needs before her own.

[@janelle009]

@@rentiadutoit3526 Well put 👏

[@jojobee42]

I think that Matthew guy demonstrated very well why his kids are taken away from him.

[@angelahimmelreich7104]

It all sounds so well aimed and caring, but there is a dark side to foster care and adoption, its not all of them are good people,kids come out of these kinds of upringings extremely traumatized as well

[@tannacothern3522]

The way matthew was treating Emily during the meeting really shows his character and he doesn't deserve to have that baby I feel so bad for Emily

[@blueymum7164]

If mathew was upset over a bowl can't imagine what he would be like with a crying baby

[@trinitynancy6567]

😂😂😂😂,me too,and the way babies cry,it can drive you insane

[@suzybrat2945]

The amount of people in these comments who are not on the child's side is frightening. If you want to be a parent, then get off the drugs. Don't be with an abusive person. Have a real support system. Get some help. Babies come first.

[@christineperez7562]

I agree it seems most people do not care about children. They expect more out of children then they do adults.

[@biancaann851]

Don’t be with an abusive person…. Easier said than done.

[@tinyturquoise94]

@@biancaann851 it isn't easy but if you want your child then do it. You know how many children are murdered by an abusive partner? Too many.

[@draganasokolovic1401]

On point

[@emilyjane7166]

It's not as easy as just saying it; in saying that, a lot of mums need support not just have the kids ripped away. It is traumatic for both parents and children. Some parents just need help and support, and some need their kids removed for the child's safety

[@shesgoneforeverlife]

My daughter had a baby as a teen. I’m just thankful I was there for her and my granddaughter. I couldn’t imagine her struggling alone. There is no way a teen can raise a baby alone. They aren’t mentally mature enough or grown. They need a good parent to help them along. I stood behind her regardless of what she decided to do with her baby, this was her choice.

[@Ana-db4km]

For many years I wondered if I did the right thing been there for my teen-mom daughter, now I know that I did right, the boy is now grown, yes he struggles like everyone but He's a fine guy, no regrets... I love my kids and my grandkids.

[@vo6172]

Wrong again I've seen many success teen parents. It's all about maturity. As her parent you would have had to take responsibility for the fact that she was pregnant young as well. People don't see this as it should be seen and it's sad. The children always loss. No one every helps them as they claim too.

[@michaelfairchild]

What a lovely human being that Matthew is. If hes sober like that, think when hes wasted.

[@patriciakelly69]

If he gets angry over a bowl, he needs anger management. I feel so sorry for Emily. I hope she’s got well away from him.

[@YochevedDesigns]

When I adopted my daughter it was the best day of my life. We had an open adoption and the birth parents were able to be as involved as they wanted to be. It helped that we were all mature and functional, with healthy boundaries.

[@demijour1234]

@Yocheved Chana How beautiful you are to have kept an open adoption and kept in touch with the birth parents. I know one of my friend adopted her first son through CAS (in Canada). They usually try and get siblings adopted with the same family if they are open to it. This one family adopted 2 brothers and when the mother had another boy that family said no. So my friend got to adopt at 10months old and unfortunately the family that adopted his 2 brothers did not want any contact at all with his brother my friend adopted. I think it is very sad, he is about 10 or 11yrs old now and he knows he is adopted. She wanted to later adopt a little girl maybe around 5yrs old and a exchange student who got pregnant without her family knowing decided to give her newborn up for adoption. She wrote a letter for her son for when he gets older. He is I think 3 yrs old now. I can imagine the heartache decision the mother and her boyfriend had to make especially without her family knowing.

[@raymondcaylor6292]

My heart aches for the children of abusive and neglectful parents. My wife and I tried to be foster parents but it was too emotionally draining. We continue to visit and day trip with children in foster care but we're really just trying to support and help those Hero's who successfully take on the challenge of foster care. We successfully raised 3 high achieving children and considered ourselves good parents but after attempting to nurture children who were unfortunate not to be raised from birth by a network of loving and caring people we came to realize their success wasn't from our efforts alone but implementing what we had learned growing up with loving families.

[@sallybigland7901]

My heart goes out to Emily. They don’t specify what she had been through during her childhood but obviously it was not good and has allowed her to get involved in a relationship with a man who is totally controlling and abusive. The sad thing is Emily doesn’t have the strength and confidence to get out of that toxic place. If she could, this video shows she has the potential to be a caring, loving mother. My God, how we f*ck other people’s lives up. It’s a vicious circle. How can it be broken?

[@emmanarotzky6565]

Yes, why doesn’t she have parents? A kid her age should still be living with her parents in my opinion. “Legal adulthood” is BS when you’re a teenager. If she had a mom she would have dumped Matthew and had someone to protect her from him and financially support her. There’s no way she really believes that there’s nothing wrong with him when he was acting crazy in the meetings.

[@ServingVibes]

Emily NEEDS to leave Matthew asap. She might have had a really good chance at that point. If she wants future kids she has to do it.

[@lailanimessina1473]

U didn’t hear the ending I see 😑 AFTER they put the baby into progression of being adopted that’s when they broke up smfh I don’t think she needs any children with or without his disgusting ass but being WITH HIM is the worse choice whether kids are involved or not also

[@ServingVibes]

@@lailanimessina1473 yep, I saw the ending. I said she would’ve had a chance had she not been with him.

[@ServingVibes]

@@lailanimessina1473 also I meant to say she should’ve left him asap like during that situation? I get what you’re saying and respect your opinion and all but there was no reason to kind of try and knock me down for my opinion with the abbreviated cursing and all. Ya know. It’s America we can have different opinions and still get along and respect one another in this world.

[@bellasamantha237]

@@lailanimessina1473 45:30 the couple that separated were Ray + Lorenz, not Emily n abusive Matthew.

[@matemahe]

future kids her current kids in her future you mean right

[@jessam4875]

I grew up with severe neglect as well as physical, emotional and psychological abuse at the hands of my ‘mother’. My siblings and I would regularly get put into temporary foster care but were always returned to her. They should have taken us for good. Out of the 5 of us, I’m the only one that has a stable life (good career, married, children) though I still suffer severe anxiety. My other siblings are all drug and alcohol addicted, been in and out of prison and had their own children removed.

[@ellewright6991]

Same honey 😔 my egg doner tried to kill me the day after my Wedding because she had run out of drugs. She has had ample opportunity to be a mother. She chose to use me as a punching bag instead. She's psychotic and a grade a narcissistic pig. I too was in care and returned. She always told them what they wanted to hear until my grandmother saw what was really happening and she took me under her wing. I love my life now despite all the hurt she caused. I have 3 children and they are amazing. I could never even imagine hurting them 💔🥺

[@antoniellahogstrom6198]

Im so sorry to hear that🙏❤️ I struggled with addiction and got my boy placed in temporary care. I have him now and dealing with his and my own trauma from that. The awful part is that I personally called social services for help when I felt The relapse coming. They told me they have a 4 moth evaluation procedure period and I unfortunately did not hang in there. When they called me up to say they were done with The evaluation, I remember this with tears burning, I told her "Thank you very much I have been on drugs for a week now and I told you this, I asked for help and you gave me 4 months to struggle out by my self and I did it for over 3. 5 months and lost The fight.. They were here in 15 minutes and got him. I cant help but feel bitter and angry cause this trauma could have been prevented. I do not know how many messages, phonecalls and visits I payed them The in that 3 months but I bascally were on my knees begging.. Bet they are not used to that aspect. They are used to being forced to chase People not The other way around. Now they have said that I only have to place a call and they will help instantly, I pray that will never have to happen.. Again, so sorry about your siblings.. The foster care system is faulty in so many aspects. I feel like they very often are on to The wrong People/families. There is so much crap going on behind The more polished doorknobs, they just guard The gates very Well..

[@jennymcbain486]

💔

[@daisyadele967]

Here in America we have a lot of foster homes that are just as abusive. I feel so bad for the kids that get taken from one abusive home just to be put in another abusive home. 😞

[@jessam4875]

@@daisyadele967 that’s sad. The in Australia we have an incredibly stringent system. In the dozens of short term foster homes I stayed in, the worst incident I ever had (if you’d even call it that) was I got sent to bed without dinner once because I refused to even taste the beef stew the carers made and I was being really rude screaming that it was disgusting lol.

[@MomLife-wb3qr]

Heartbreaking. There's got to be a way to keep moms and babies together while getting moms whatever help they need 😭

[@adri9795]

I think separation is best for the kids. Yes the mom is sad and whatever, but they also picked drugs, bad men and violence over their babies. As a child who was separated later in life, I am so grateful.

[@stuckasfuck]

No adopted parent can replace the real thing. Too many bad people adopt children for bad reasons. Unfortunately some parents just aren’t capable of caring for their children more than themselves. There’s no good solutions.

[@questioneverythingtv]

Been on a British show binge and everytime I think it's over YT just gives me more 😂😂😂😂. It's so addictive.

[@mellvee]

No, Matthew, it's NOT "up to the courts". It was up to the parents, and once the parents make the decision - like you did - to abdicate their responsibilities to their child, THEN it's up to the courts. Emily choosing that thing over her daughter shows she's not strong enough to stand up for her child.

[@thechristycowart]

Very well said

[@patty7791]

Can you see where that child would be in nineteen years if they DIDN’T intervene? The cycle of abuse will now be broken, and hopefully this child will stand a chance! The sy WORKED!

[@sheilasullivan1950]

She's not "choosing that thing". She is utterly controlled by him. She is not allowed to think never mind have an opinion. She needs desperately to be rescued and put miles and miles between the sick situation he has created between them to control her. Blame rhe victim do...smh.

[@christinaarmani3122]

Yes I was in a controlling/abusive situation myself but I had my blinders on. By the grace of God I got out. Once I had some distance I was like what did I do to myself?

[@carly582]

@@sheilasullivan1950 I was raised in a similar situation. Children need a strong mother. It's sad that she doesn't have her daughter but as nice as my mum was she couldn't stand up to my dad, leaving lasting trauma.

[@Katie-mw7pd]

Nicola missed two visits, then arrived 30 minutes late to the review session, and she’s shocked that the social worker deemed her not capable of looking after her son. Complete denial.

[@sheilasullivan1950]

Does she have a job to afford a car? Did she face a bill that HAD to be paid and left her with no money to take the bus, charge her phone to call them? Two sides to every story and immediately she got put down. These girls are low income so straight away they're deemed no good. They can't wait to steal these children to make money adopting them out. It would kill them to provide housing and support so they can be the good parents they know they can be. Accidents happen, getting pregnant without a steady partner and housing but ooh lets smear their character. Adopters want infants over older kids. Pure racket. She cleaned up, but prejudice exists for single parents and these 'social workers ' do not give a dang, all boils down to money. They have no awareness of what stress does to these parents. Bus routes. If their job paid them or not. Market for human trafficking legit v illegal.

[@MyGrace2You]

@@sheilasullivan1950 this is the SECOND child she’s had taken off her within a YEAR. This means that she had an infant taken from her and, within months, fell pregnant again and chose not to address the issues that had her first child removed. She is incapable of caring for herself due to the choices she makes so how could she possibly care for a child?

[@candilease938]

Main hung with her is she doesn’t even have a home herself so I can’t see how they can give her the baby at the moment but if she keeps working and fighting for him she could get her son back. If it were me….I’d have my child! Actually I wouldn’t have lost him to begin with. But that’s just me. I commend her for getting clean it isn’t an easy thing to do and she already lost one child a year prior so I had high hopes she would get to where she needed to be for this baby boy it’s clear that she loves him very much but I just don’t think she had the means to provide for him well at the time being and that’s sad.

[@sabrinaprince8577]

Nicola needs to be more responsible and not keep getting pregnant. Its not the babies fault that they are brought into the world due to irresponsibly. And where is the father of this baby? Nicola doesn't look like she can take care of herself. Sorry to say but some women just should not be mothers.

[@myrtlebeachman9037]

Call a drug addict gonna spend money on dyin my hair mother what she is.. ON HER 2ND CHILD BEING TAKEN AWAY.. she needs to not have any children the risk is too great. She need to goto jail for child abuse.

[@jeribryce31]

I hope poor Emily gets the strength to leave Matthew. She deserves someone who loves her and her daughter. Someone who isn’t a pig.

[@gypsydanger1013]

So many foster parents are absolute angels. I'd never be able to do it. It's hard enough to raise my own kid, let alone be there for kids with abandonment issues and trauma

[@Gurl-5150]

I have heard exactly three sentences out of Matthew and his partner 's mouths and I can assure you that if someone adopts that wonderful baby, then she will be a zillion times better off.

[@nicolemitchell446]

Amen to that!

[@sinbadoakley1990]

The child that gets adopted this can change her story for the better

[@pewpew9193]

The poor kid is probably screwed with those genetics. Going to end up being a low IQ rage monster.

[@kyla6538]

Mathew has the emotional maturity of a 5 yr old. Throwing a fit over a broken bowl, come on grow up. He can't even keep it together long enough to have a meeting. I wouldn't want him anywhere near my baby nor anyone else's. The mom seems like she'd be ok to have her baby back if she would kick Mathew out of their lives.

[@sarah3796]

He is so scary

[@mariaelizabeth6066]

I agree with everything you said except hopefully she won’t try to find love in men similar to Matthew after he is gone. Sometimes this can become a toxic pattern for women

[@yaelfeder9042]

He’s obviously got a low IQ from some sort of toxin exposure like fetal alcohol or lead or nicotine exposure in uterine or early childhood. My own dad had fetal alcohol exposure and he ended up with a gazillion mental health problems and was never self aware. I myself have BPD and have been doing well with therapy and self awareness and am even a college graduate. My mother never did anything harmful while pregnant with me and our house and pipes didn’t have any lead in them and I never do drugs or drink or smoke and I think that’s why I am doing better than my dad or Matthew ever will be doing. It’s sad though that people like that were fucked from birth but they need to realize that normal adult responsibilities aren’t for them and they need assistance.

[@kes9612]

These social service workers across the pond are ALL so brilliantly empathetic towards the parents and their plight. I have never seen such compassionate workers in my life, all across their services. I know their job must be terribly stressful and weigh in their souls at night when they go home but they are making a difference. I wish I could just see 1\10th of the CPS workers here in the US be as dedicated and in the right profession as these workers featured in the documentary. Bless them and all the parents trying their best to work services and regain custody of their children.

[@hicmad]

They seem to have a history of taking children when they shouldn't and not intervening when they should.

[@Thisismyaccount82]

In Australia, the laws have changed now where they will try to work with the parents first but if they can’t they will investigate the parents to take them away for a certain amount of time. I had my kids taken away for 6 months, at first I was angry but I couldn’t see what they were telling me. My story is like Emily’s as soon as my partner went to jail I got them back.

[@erynkathrynorr9334]

I’m sorry u went through that but I’m really happy u got your babies back !! ❤️

[@Thisismyaccount82]

@@erynkathrynorr9334 Thank-you, they are 20, 18 and 15 years old now. My daughter has mental health issues due to an undiagnosed intellectual disability, bullying and trauma from when welfare took them and when I asked them for help back in 2018 they told me they can’t do anything.

[@ladylabyrinth6345]

@@Thisismyaccount82 nice work ma, good for you 😊

[@kristynorman916]

I'm currently fighting to get my little ones back. Child Protection can be difficult to deal with but I respect them for what they do. I also understand that everyone isn't as polite as I am. I've learnt to be assertive yet respectful.

[@emilyjane7166]

I had my 4 taken last year and got the two youngest back at the end of the year. There was concerns raised about my two eldest (which I only had back for 2 years after my mother took them from me and refused to return them after I escaped dv) Now they are saying I need to be supervised eventhough it was concerns about my partner being around them. All those people carrying on "just leave the partner" it's not that simple, I couldn't do 4 kids by myself even if I left him I would have all 4 and the two eldest are with the grand parents so the best of a bad situation. Also add I was 18 with my first and needed to grow up and I was a child in care so grew up thinking not having parents around was normal and it was normal to be looked after by many people who I didn't know

[@iceicetina5876]

If Matthew acts like that on camera I can't imagine how awful he is behind closed doors..

[@deborahstone9696]

I myself am raising my grand child. I signed for the child at the hospital. Unfortunately I had no idea the mother had 2 previous children taken from her. My grand child is now 10 and has been with me, her Nana since she was 4months old.❤❤

[@SourPickles8]

Bless you and your kind heart and selfless dedication.

[@christianelila3374]

The social workers have so much patience. They are amazing.

[@katiebugg311]

"The more she gets attached the harder it will be to get unattached" Sounds like Emily was speaking for herself but using Sofee as a way to speak her true feelings. Poor thing.

[@verlindaallen6299]

I wish there were homes where the momma can live with their babies and learn how to be a mommy. And love herself enough to reject these guys.

[@lizi.2503]

Amen to that!

[@lilmisstrouble85]

There are in Canada. We call them maternity homes. Both for teens and adults.

[@solidstate9451]

In Germany there are. A relative of mine was there. She lived there 3 years and after this time they took the child away from her, because even in the home with a social worker around 24/7 she wasn't able to take care of the child.

[@shaynelahmed6323]

They have mother n child units in england

[@jaelzion]

There's gotta be some kind of oversight, though. Mother and Baby homes in Ireland were brutal.

[@BecxyBoo]

It is so sad that a woman can lose her child because her partner is abusive and they are too scared to leave. In those cases, I feel they should try and help the mother and child leave the abuser rather than taking the child away and leaving the mother with the abusive partner.

[@rosemaryangela1825]

That Matthew shouldn’t b in charge of any child at any time. He’s a loose cannon that’s one step away from physically abusing someone

[@lihan1544]

I remember reading through comments from when this documentary was originally posted a few years ago on a different channel (it’s posted every so often on different channels, with slightly different titles aka: The Adoption; the decision on another channel) but I swear I read that Emily did eventually leave Matthew and was able to get her baby back. I tried searching for the previously mentioned comment, but couldn’t seem to find it, but I do pray that it’s true. Emily seems so wonderful and like a calm, kind and caring young lady. Matthew is a horrible human being and I have no doubt that Emily feels constantly intimidated, scared, anxious and generally terrified living with him, but would be even more scared of him “flying off the handle” at her when we’ve seen how disrespectful and threatening he was towards their social worker. I feel like the agency could have provided Emily with more in depth assistance in finding a community, housing, necessary services etc where she would be able to thrive and feel safe far away from Matthew

[@mcalderon6879]

How old is Matthew anyway?? She's only 18

[@lulunz6809]

There is no doubt how gentle and loving Emily was towards her baby however, she couldn't protect herself, let alone the baby. Not even for the sake of the baby. So she was so deeply enmeshed in the relationship that she was unable to leave him at that time in order to keep her baby. Of course it's not her fault. The reason for having baby removed wasn't because she didn't love him. He needed to be in a safe and settled environment so he could get his emotional, mental and physical needs met, which at that age is a key time in his development and they couldn't provide that. She had a long way to go to learn how to protect herself and recognise the situation she was in. Some women never do. Its not because they are stupid or uncaring. Its because of many reasons, including upbringing, social circles, and the effects of domestic violence itself on a woman's psyche and mental health. I have no doubt she would have been offered and spoken to many times by the Police and so had he. He simply couldn't understand why everything was happening so couldn't change his behaviour and no amount of explaining was going to help at that time. Emily was in the same position and no doubt she would have had a psychologist review and recommendations for therapy and support. Nobody could make her go to those things. It was entirely her decision because nobody could physically force her too. Even if she did leave him, or did go to therapy it could take years for her to fully comprehend what happened and learn to protect herself from picking another man who was similar. That isn't because she is dumb or stupid. Its because of the very real affects of domestic violence. The babies wellbeing couldn't wait for that and if he had stayed then, he could end up being a reflection of his father and the cycle goes on. There would be no guarantee he wouldn't be harmed either. Too many women die, too many children die, while people wait for other people to change.

[@JB-jr8zw]

Yes thank you.. These assholes just saying how she should just leave him. This has triggered me beyond belief as a victim of abuse.

[@Katrielible]

@@lulunz6809 astute and to the point: nicely said. In this case with Matthew and others like it, I quite agree with you.

[@lulunz6809]

@@JB-jr8zw So many people have no idea about domestic violence and family harm and how it happens or why women don't "just leave". Often these men can be lovely..at first and once the woman falls in love, then that's when the power and control starts to happen and its very confusing. They doubt themselves or think its a "one off" or "he's just stressed". Or he might tell her he didn't mean to and "its the booze or the drugs". Or it was their childhood. So she feels sorry for him especially when he says "he will get help"....then never does. Or women are told its "their fault". Its that type of mind manipulation that destroys her confidence and she starts to doubt her own thinking or feels crazy. He tells her she is and how lucky she is to have him still. On and on it goes and she can't think clearly anymore. On and on it goes. Its brainwashing. I can't help but wonder if Emily felt she was such a bad mother than she didn't deserve the baby. Maybe he told her that? Who knows. Or perhaps women saw that type of behaviour growing up, so they don't know life can be different. An older man with a much younger women is a classic sign of trouble ahead. This man seems to not see it at all. Chances are he grew up seeing this type of behaviour and to him, treating a woman like this is totally normal to him. Treating people in positions of power badly, is normal to him. It's a perfect storm. So sad. Lets hope she gets out. I'm sorry you have been triggered. I am not surprised that has happened. All we can do is try to understand that those people are so lucky to have not lived through the hell that is domestic violence. Its not about you or any of these people. Its about them. A position of privilege.

[@anha7938]

„You can‘t judge anyone because you didnt walk their path“ thats lovely how she said that

[@Laura-yv5jz]

や」「ふさはなな

[@solidstate9451]

I have to disagree. If somebody treats others badly I don't like this person and I don't care why he/she does it.

[@mandyschmidt206]

@@solidstate9451 then you have an immature simplistic way of thinking

[@shellysmallwood6364]

I've watched this whole thing through. As a mom and living in the USA,cps has never cared to reunite the children with their parents, let alone their mom. And it's just sad, so instead, 90% of the children are just put in foster care. When they should be able to be with the better parent. The children are the ones getting the bunt end of stick. 😢

[@nikkiboza4237]

Society is quick to judge why instead of taking their child away aren't they helping the parents thru their struggles

[@ashleynicole4523]

Poor Emily I wish someone could help her she looks like nothing more than a child herself. But she seems like she could've been a really good mom. 😭

[@brittaolson6550]

I agree. They should offer to set her up apart from her husband.

[@margaretboyle8719]

Wow, "she looks like she could have been a really good mom." The facts clearly show that she is NOT and her "partner" whom she chose, is a TURD. Grow up. Many people should NOT have kids because they are trash, sad but true.

[@myunknownland9272]

@@brittaolson6550 but not let him know where she lives.

[@marteumar8429]

She’s not a child

[@ashleynicole4523]

@@marteumar8429 She's not an adult either.

[@ChevyGirl-1984]

Poor Emily, she seems wise beyond her years, but unfortunately trapped in an awful relationship. My heart aches for her. I cannot imagine being told my child was going to be put up for adoption. That’s the sickest, most disgusting feeling. I hope she eventually gets away from Matthew, and maybe one day when the time is right, she can be a mother and a parent again. ❤️

[@Al-kb2xl]

@meow yeah wise is definitely the wrong word

[@empressspace8110]

It's awful my rights was violated and my babys were ripped out of my arms I was not on drugs or drinking I had help and everything

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

@meow that's not true. Not everyone is privileged to have good parents to begin with to have a good life or even be educated I can't tell you how much I struggled to survive and eat a meal everyday to just get my high school education. My father abandoned the family at a young age and my mother her kids when they're in their teens. Luckily I got a scholarship it could have been much worse for me.

[@janelle009]

@@aprilchow-chee5281 I'm sorry you went through that but you're exactly right and not everyone has the strength to get the help needed.

[@sheilan6959]

Emily is still very immature, she should not be in a relationship or having kids.

[@samannthaswtnss9397]

"Ive got 45 mins to say goodbye to him before they come and ruin MY life"- and thats the problem. Its no longer about you and YOUR life- its about your babies and whats best for them

[@NicNac081909]

OMG! I wouldn't allow Matthew to take care of a diseased rat, let alone a precious child. That Psychopath needs a lot of help. Emily needs to get the hell away from him and put her child first.

[@mohamedel-derkaouimerzoukb2594]

Well yes

[@breanakelly6192]

Matthew needs to be locked up and stay away from his daughter and his partner. He is ruining their lives

[@janai5074]

Matthew terrifies me. I feel badly for anyone who has to be near him in any way whatsoever.

[@solidstate9451]

He's the type of person who would explain how to treat an injury to a female doctor.

[@thesecretshade]

No kid should grow up around Matthew. Not everyone deserves kids. He has no respect for anyone. No self control either. Every child deserves a healthy family environment to feel safe.

[@Kaya084]

My grandparents got custody of my when I was 6 months old and my sister as soon as she was born, 7 months later. My mom was 17 when I was born and she stayed with my grandparents for the most part, but decided drugs, drinking, and partying was more important. She remarried a couple years later, to a drug addict/dealer, had twin boys. They stayed with them until they were 3. She traded them to their father (the drug dealer/addict) for a car and a tv. He got arrested and went to prison not long after that and their grandparents on their dad’s side got custody of them, they ended up in foster care for a month while they were going to court. My mom never saw them again after that. They are now 30 years old. I haven’t spoken to my mom in 7 years. I am so grateful for my grandparents stepping up when they did. I had the best childhood, they made sure we had everything we needed, we were able to play whatever sports we wanted, etc. I wouldn’t change a single thing about my life.

[@beverlythacker4426]

@36:51, Look at Emily's body language! She is trying to make herself small so if he attacks her she can just curl up in a ball. I think her choice to give up her child so the child will grow up in a healthy environment and not an asshole for a father. She did this so her child has a change at a real life. I pray she leaves him for good.

[@Anastashya]

I agree with you. I felt sad for Emily because she seemed to really love her baby.

[@Xavierschanclas]

Her body language suggests she is very scared of him .

[@leenbee17]

Those social workers are strong people having to make those decisions and deal with the fallout. It's heartbreaking.

[@franklinstephen3268]

Hi 👋dear, how are you doing?

[@brittaolson6550]

They volunteer for it. The ones I worked with relished the judgment, and slept just fine. I was not on their case list. I was a colleague, and what I saw was disgusting.

[@racheldemarco9171]

Thank you. I worked as a child protection social worker in Canada and it was a very difficult job. I was attacked by angry parents but there was also rewarding cases such as one where I got a mother's toddler child reunified with her and back into her care so the file could be closed. Many people don't understand how difficult being a child protection social worker is.

[@eunicestone6532]

I was a mother at 16 years 10 months. Almost 17. I did great.

[@lovenikolatesla846]

This is one of the many reasons why I'm choosing the path of becoming a future foster/adoption parent it's definitely my calling those children go through so much fear while not understanding what's going on they need to feel secure and safe.

[@venusretrograde6177]

I’m surprised more people aren’t talking about Nicola’s story in the comments. So sad…. such a reminder that not all people are prepared to be parents just because they had a baby. It takes a lot of work and sacrifice that many people are not prepared for. I really hope that her son went to a good family and that she is doing better for herself.

[@mohamedel-derkaouimerzoukb2594]

yes In the case of Nicola, Nicola asks for gratitude that you are not jailed for drug use in the United States, those tears are lies

[@SRHMorbid]

We need social workers like this in the states.

[@brittaolson6550]

Absolutely! In the States, many workers are not invested in getting families back together.

[@SRHMorbid]

@@brittaolson6550 I know a lot of people who have there kids that shouldn't. Literally smoking meth and the workers like well the child said they don't feel unsafe. And I know ppl that have had there kids taken for small things.

[@rebeccajelenawang4306]

@@SRHMorbid This happens a lot in the Scandanavian countries as well...

[@coldsilver5375]

@@rebeccajelenawang4306 unfortunately

[@littleblackcar]

Do you think they're going to show anything but ideal situations on something like this? They're not going to show you a social worker with twice the cases she's supposed to have, at the end of her rope.

[@Lassieandfriends2019]

Such a rough system to work in and the pressure to get things right is unbelievable. Yet it is so often it can go so wrong and those kids are put in far more danger than they were ever in. It’s terribly sad for everyone involved, but most of all those poor babies ♥️♥️

[@mievettepeeters6844]

It is absolutely sad to see how people get children when they cannot even take care of themself