The myth of meritocracy & health in weight loss 🙃| Khadija Mbowe

[@KhadijaMbowe]

Go to ground.news/Khadija to get 40% off their Vantage plan which is what I use, or subscribe for as little as $1/month ✨"

[@sharonbaker3007]

Congratulations on your sponsorship!!! I'll join on the 1st!!💙💙💙

[@TAEYYO]

In Japan they measure the waistlines of people age 45-74 as part of their annual checkups. 33.5 inches for men and 35.4 inches for women, are the thresholds established by the International Diabetes Federation as an easy guideline for identifying health risks and having a weight-related ailment. Anyone exceeding those sizes are given dieting guidance after three months if they don't lose weight. Thoughts?

[@sharonbaker3007]

@@TAEYYO To be honest, it's all in the manner in which this is done. Is it fully neutral, or shaming? Is three months long enough to "lose weight?" What if they have a physical/mental health reason (there are several)? What if they cannot comply? What if they refuse to comply? Will the medical team refuse to see them? Will they lose their insurance? I have a 40 inch waist, don't have diabetes (I get checked several times per year) and my health problems are not weight-related, and am in the above age range. I have tried to bend to this sort of thing most of my life, and frankly, I'm tired of it. Anyone that would like to judge me negatively for this will be crushed under the weight of my giant backside. And you know why I say this? I say this with love for my community of friends, because I see you, and understand what it's like to be told to "lose weight" or "else (some sort of vaguely threatening thing happens)." I say this with love for youth, especially if they're marginalized, because they may not have access to anything that would change their situation, even if they want to. I say this with love to those 45-74, because I know most of you have tried to change your body; some with starvation "diets," extreme exercise, drugs, or surgery. I say this with love toward the whole human family, because biologically, we are all cousins. And how does one treat a family member? Would you tell them their body was somehow wrong? Would this feedback be welcome, wanted, obeyed, or in any way helpful? Do you think that fat people are unaware of their body size? I am not my body; I am me. The body is a container, a home, a vehicle; as Merriam-Webster states, "the physical whole of a living or dead organism." That's it. When I leave this plane of existence, I would like to think that those left behind would point to my kindness, compassion, generosity, patience, talent, humor, commitment, openness, and wit. Not the container I just dropped. And anyone who doesn't like that will be crushed under the weight of my giant backside.💙💙💙

[@TAEYYO]

@@sharonbaker3007 As far as I know, after an additional 6 months they receive further guidance. I was most curious about: A) The International Diabetes Federation using waistline as a guideline for identifying health risks. B) Japan implementing this policy when this is a much smaller issue there.

[@-natmac]

The fatphobes love to claim it’s about health, but when I went from being chubby to tiny and people asked how I did it, my response of “severe depression” didn’t result in anyone extending an ounce of concern. They just thought I looked better.

[@HazelwithaZ]

Same. One woman kept asking my secret and calling me "disciplined" until I finally said I could barely force myself to eat a spoonful of peanut butter a day, so if that's what she means by discipline, sure... I'm much better now, but that's thanks to me.

[@msjkramey]

In a sick way, I wish that's how my brain worked because I hate my body and depression just makes me gain weight and then get more depressed and so on. But I do get it, just because I used to have a friend in tears over her mom gushing over how much better she looked when she was suffering her worst level of disordered eating. Her mom was a nurse and still didn't notice the signs of her starting to look malnourished and exhausted. Every time her mom complimented her, it was like a knife to the back and confirmation to the disordered part of her brain that she was doing the "right" thing. I don't comment on people's bodies anymore, even positively, because I have no idea what I'm reinforcing or drawing attention, too. I'll still complement someone's vibe or look or outfit or stuff like that, but I try not to talk too much about specific features. Of course, I slip up now and then, but I do my best

[@Kellan__they-them]

Same here. In 2016 from January 4th to November 1st, I lost 98lbs. I went from being obese to just barely a healthy weight, borderline underweight. All anybody had for me were congratulations, and awkward silence when I revealed that su---dal ideation was what drove me to do it. Edit to add: I've gained back over 20lbs since then and am in a much better place (mentally and physically), though my relationship with food and my body could still use some work.

[@Brainjoy01]

@Slayy05a 99 or 199?

[@emcrolls]

It’s not “health” it’s only ever been eugenics and the assumptions mixed with “broken body “ manifest sin and fear

[@crumbsintopebbles]

Fatphobes must realize that true body positivity is not about "denying the truth" or "neglecting your health", it's about recognizing people as worthy of love and respect no matter their weight/physical appearance.

[@KhadijaMbowe]

Say it for the people in the BACK!!!

[@universedonut159]

💯

[@HeyLetsDoAThing]

They never will. They’ll always insist that “it’s as simple as calories in vs calories out” and that it’s just a matter of “choosing to be lazy/greedy”

[@actuallyasim]

the thing is that you could send them study after study about how different hormone imbalances affect metabolism and fat distribution; how many health conditions (physical or mental) make intentional weight loss excruciatingly difficult; and most importantly, how shame actually hurts weight loss attempts; and still they would call someone who dares say "I love myself, I deserve to not be ashamed of myself and I deserve to exist" as glorifying unhealthy lifestyles. Get out of the way, endocrinologists, metabolic specialists, dietitians, and psychologists: nobody understands science better than a guy who likes to lift

[@Jabberwocky112]

A lot of fat phobia is just eugenics. Treating the unhealthy as burdens of society. I’m not fat but I’ve been chronically ill since the age of 5. People have genuinely asked my parents how they cope with the burden of paying for my medical treatments…as if they should just leave me to die.

[@awkwardlyanxiouslatte7841]

My mum was prescribed a weight loss drug in 2007, upon her own request. The doctor knew she had a heart condition, and he knew the medication wasn’t safe for people with heart conditions. But he prescribed it anyways. I will never forget that society told my mother that losing weight was more important than her safety. She passed in 2008 due to a heart attack. I just want everyone to know you’re beautiful no matter what, please love yourselves and take care of yourselves.

[@KristinaHuegelOnStage]

I'm so sorry for your loss 💔 I also grew up watching my mother go through diet after diet, listening to her hate her body out loud for 16 years, ultimately getting gastric bypass. Society told her not being fat was worth being cut open and having part of her stomach removed, and having gastric issues the rest of her life 😪

[@pokelover02]

I’m so sorry for your loss. That should have never happened ❤️‍🩹

[@AmberAmber]

I'm soooooo sorry💔💔😭

[@mondaysocks]

I'm so sorry, that's truly awful

[@mkamara7279]

oh my god im so sorry for your loss how ridiculous of that dr to subscribe that medication KNOWING

[@EphemeralTao]

People "care" about mental health until we start showing serious symptoms, then they become a whole lot less supportive.

[@jenniferavila2703]

Its almost like mental health is only cared for when it’s too late.

[@EphemeralTao]

@@jenniferavila2703 And a lot of the time, not even then.

[@FatimaL9294]

Like Wentworth Miller when he put on weight. He got made fun of, then revealed he was depressed and turned to food instead of drugs or alcohol. What made it sadder is that he was suicidal and had actually tried to kill himself when he was younger because of his sexuality

[@wolfferoni]

@@EphemeralTao Yeah, not even then. Some people might show that they care or have compassion for things like a little anxiety or depression and then when it gets to the point of it being life threatening or a disability, they get angry? I find it so bizarre and don't understand it.

[@feathersoffancy8988]

I genuinely think it’s based on emotional work. People will have “empathy” when it’s a problem that doesn’t require any emotional work from them to help, but if you have to actually get dirty and SUPPORT someone? It’s suddenly too much. Saying this as a mental health practitioner btw, I use this personal view in my work all the time. Not saying it’s 100% accurate across the board, but it’s sure helpful on a one-on-one basis to understand my client’s POVs and their loved ones

[@Jabbersac]

I have a good friend who I met in college who's very fat. In his junior year he started exercising a lot, and I heard several people ask him whether he was "on a diet" or otherwise trying to lose weight. He said no, that he was just tired of feeling sick and unhealthy and he wanted to feel healthier and happier. He wasn't counting calories, he was just trying to avoid sugary foods and drinks and exercise every day. He's still pretty fat, but its' been almost 3 years now and he's still exercising every day and he seems genuinely happy and healthy. Taught me a valuable lesson, since I've always been naturally pretty thin I never thought much about my lifestyle, but seeing him change his life made me realize I needed to change my habits just as much as he did, and that just being thin didn't make me healthy at all - that thinness never should have been the goal of healthy habits at all.

[@juliawidmaier5334]

Wow, very happy for your friend. Almost all my life I've been overweight and the only times I've lost and kept off weight was when I was starving and obsessive about how much I weighed. Recently decided to make my routines about just...feeling good and living long and hopefully with no major health issues as I age. I've stopped weighing myself everyday and the difference in my mood is vast.

[@Jabbersac]

@@juliawidmaier5334 Yeah, I was pretty wowed by his mindset of healthy habits for the sake of FEELING good rather than for appearances. Its also a much better way to form lasting habits rather than habits that will vanish as soon as the "diet" ends

[@alexandramaclachlan7597]

Big agree and smiles at OP & the replies so far. I've always been a big lady, and I've been trying to focus on the "feeling better" metric, as I can do it with my eyes & ears closed to how it looks or seems to others. Nobody else knows how my meatsuit feels to live inside, so why did I/do I still let people's ignorance affect me so? Props to your friend, and to you c:

[@cosmictraveler1146]

@@juliawidmaier5334omg I resonate so much with the only losing weight when it became a obsession and every time I went over the daily limit I beat myself up and was in some ways more miserable than being unhealthy! These days I just walk to and from work along with normal exercise and stopped treating health like a damn second job lmao

[@jackiealexander92530]

That’s what I do!!! I go to the gym 2x a week, make sure i only eat sweets/chips/sugary drinks on weekends, and I’m good!! Doctor said my cholesterol has been down!! And still haven’t touched that scale lol

[@komal146]

the health argument, often about women, also falls a bit flat because we can see how people idealize (ed) models like Kate Moss while talking shit about muscular athletic women like William sisters. it is a lot about aesthetics of looking more ... delicate and vulnerable i guess.

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

Race is another factor with the Williams sisters. Their mocking has always had under and overtones that their muscles made them ugly, masculine, undeserving of their titles and/or that they were secretly men and "had it easier" simply because they were tall and athletic.

[@alpacafish1269]

@@theshunnedBandersnatch this!!

[@annaleena1975]

Absolutely this! I’ve always been on the thinner side but my god did I get a lot more compliments when I (5’10) weighed under 100lbs and could barely walk than at 130lbs when I could run a half marathon.

[@sharonfieldstone]

@56KSC God, that makes me so angry. I'm sorry that the people who should have been taking care of you just made things harder

[@samaraisnt]

ughh great point about fit athletic women!! Men HATE them as much as fat women.

[@cityboyjami]

Race also plays a HUGE part in how your weight is societally perceived

[@andpeg]

Yeah, the qualifications for “fat” change based on your race. Black people are given more leeway to be considered “fat” than Asian people. It’s determined based on culture and if your people are naturally bigger/smaller, what they consider fat will change.

[@matxalenc8410]

@@andpeg You have to be fat with your shape intact though.

[@alexandramaclachlan7597]

​@@matxalenc8410 What shape? Is octagon acceptable?

[@matxalenc8410]

@@alexandramaclachlan7597 I mean an hourglass figure is still expected of plus-size woman in the Black community. Feel free to just ask next time, hold the sarcasm.

[@rosaperks1873]

​@@andpeg, only when the fat is acceptable places. Booty, hips and breasts and your tummy must be flat and small waist. Lizzo has no leeway. Let's make sure we add context

[@raveneskridge3143]

as a person who was complimented a lot for being thin as a child and then ridiculed a LOT for daring to get fat when i became an adult, i love you so much just for this video existing. anti-fat sentiment fucks up my life every fucking day. i was refused access to disability because of my weight as if being fat makes me less crippled. the way people come at you in public for just existing in a fat body is traumatizing. i just want to live. my body is no one's business.

[@zkkitty2436]

I'm so sorry you've experienced that. I'm also disabled and have PTSD, and I already feel the world is so hostile to me. It's unacceptable that people think they can treat folks badly for their size. I'm not wording this well since it's late where I am, but I'm trying to express solidarity with you.

[@MrJCerqueira]

I'm confused, you tried to get disability *for* being overweight?

[@raveneskridge3143]

@@MrJCerqueira i tried to get disability for the crippling arthritis in my legs, not that it's any of your business. i was denied because of my weight

[@setofreakinkaiba8553]

​​@@raveneskridge3143being disabeled and also being fat is a horrible feeling because people always think you are acting or are lazy. Especially with an autoimmune illness where they cant see your disability.

[@JeremiahArt65]

You were refused access to disability because obesity is manageable

[@lololuv2012]

I lost 23% of my body weight or 47lbs on Zepbound and Wegovy. I gained 60lbs in half a year due to several psych meds, depression, alcoholism, and messed up hormones from PCOS. I was pre diabetic and had fatty liver, and I was only 28 and never overweight in the past. Not only did I lose weight and my labs are normal, but it got me to stop drinking and other addictive behaviors (I think they are researching that now). I feel so much better and physically able to do stuff. I will say though, a depressing side to it was finding out that many people were only nice and respectful and generous to me was because I was thin and stereotypically pretty. When I got big, people actively ignored me, scoffed at me, no smiles, and doors shut on me. Now it’s back to it was but it’s such a depressing realization. Why can’t we treat everybody with respect no matter how they look??

[@MayorOfEarth79]

Even if you bring up the studies that show that bullying fat people to lose weight is actually counter-productive; fatphobes will just go "Umm...NO" towards that. It's never about health, it's about them not wanting to look at different people.

[@moustik31]

It's also about losing their entitlement to police other people's appearance/lifestyle, while looking like a "good person" bec. they can disguise their bullying under "health concern". And they arent ready to give up on that.

[@Nikola-vs6fd]

I don't think you should straight up bully somone, especially someone you don't know,but you should push people you do know to losing weight

[@glupik1234]

@@Nikola-vs6fd how about mind your own business

[@cbpd89]

"If I were skinny and I came to you with this issue, how would you treat it?" Is a thing my friend said to her doctor. The view that everything an overweight person experiences is because they're overweight is a huge problem in medicine. Part of the danger of being overweight is that a doctor might disregard a real health problem as caused by excess weight, whether it's true or not.

[@Easy-xk5ce]

That happens to skinny people as well though.

[@Lolita2.0]

I was a friends with a girl who was a little overweight in grade 8. We both clicked well since we were both excluded from the other girls in class. I was ugly while she was overweight but she received the worst teasing than me. She lost weight during puberty and the difference in treatment was shocking. Those same people who did not want to be near her were now fighting for her attention. I realised that society will treat you based on how much you meet their standards. We just have to admit it that people who are deemed good looking have an advantage in life.

[@wormitha]

A long time ago I saw a clip of a fat woman talking about being overweight. Her "fat acceptance" argument was literally just, "It's my life, if I want to sit my fat ass on the beach in a bikini I'm gonna do it." And it really stuck with me, because on an individual level it really is a case of mind your own damn business.

[@Nikola-vs6fd]

Should we let drug addicts die from drugs beacuse it's their choice or should we try and help them

[@glupik1234]

@@Nikola-vs6fd how is it even comparable to prohibiting fat people to wear bikinis? You do know that that aggravates body issues which usually leads to unhealthy diets that damage human bodies? Why do you pretend to care for other people?

[@ThatsSoRaechel]

17:27 as a fat woman, I’m cool with the word fat. It’s just a descriptor and the intent behind it is more important.

[@iLoVeaNiMeS101]

You’re pretty!

[@danilynn9904]

I’ve started reclaiming the word to deal with my own internalized fatphobia, but I agree tone and intent matter.

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

This!!! I am fat, that's okay. I also monitor my actual HEALTH these days, not my weight. As that did me in over and over again because I wanted something to "show off" (weight loss) and all it did was make me unhealthy and unhappy.

[@ThatsSoRaechel]

@@TheDawnofVanlife I feel you! I struggle with my weight and health, but I find myself mostly focusing on overall health and non-scale victories because our quality of life is the priority.

[@kehindeajayi3895]

Fat phobia is so engraves and normalised that it comes up every single year in different ways and trends, more recently the bigback trend on tiktok disguised as medical concerns

[@danilynn9904]

Honestly, my life has been so much better since I got off TikTok. Nobody’s told me I have a big back.

[@LilShopofAli]

People love to use health as a way to justify their hatred, but every person I've ever talked to who wants to lose weight or every person I've talked to who propose unhealthy weight loss have made it clear that it's not about health at all. It's about looking a certain way and I just wish people would be honest about that. You can't say it's about health and then tell a random fat person to just stop eating, that's unhealthy. You would never say that to a thin person, because that person already has a desirable body type to you.

[@AroundTheBlockAgain]

Same here! My sister has been obsessed with fatness for a while, and investing her life into some fullblown eating disorders ("pure" and "healthy" foods, fruit sugar is bad for you, etc), all under the guise of "health". But now that she's been pregnant twice, she is freaking out that she's not as thin as she used to be. She's still thin, and as far as I know her health is fine, but she's panicking that she's not "losing her pregnancy weight". Somehow I think it wasn't about "health".

[@Ilovestars-hk5xx]

i saw the title and IMMEDIATELY clicked

[@3squirrelsinacoat]

Same!

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

Same!

[@joypizorno5380]

As a native Arizonan I just have to say that “Gila monster” is pronounced like “Hee-la.” It’s a very common mistake, but just letting you know! (Love your content btw!)❤

[@KhadijaMbowe]

Lord, thank you LOL

[@laurenstewart9582]

@@KhadijaMbowe it’s ok, us arizonans only know that because we grew up hearing horror stories about them haha 😭 did you know they’re venomous and also once they bite you they don’t stop biting you they just latch on I had no clue they had a useful purpose thank you so much for informing us!

[@allyturner147]

@@laurenstewart9582 Lmfao this made me think of that one episode of Wild Kratts where a Gila Monster latched on to the bad guy's ass and just wouldn't let go 🤣🤣🤣

[@Eloraurora]

​@@laurenstewart9582 My middle school class encountered one on a field trip once, just sunning in the middle of the path. We circled around and stared at it, because big lizard, until one guy wanted to poke it with a stick. Then I said, "You do know those are venomous, right?" and we all ran off. The Gila monster never really moved. That slow metabolism makes them pretty chill, unlikely to bite anyone who isn't actively poking them in the face.

[@gabbym333]

@@allyturner147 I loved Wild Kratts!

[@bespectored]

I've gained over 60 pounds in the last couple of years due to my disabilities worsening and thus restricting movement. I've been trying to get diagnosed for almost 5 years and my family dismissed me because I'm too young for health problems. I started gaining weight and they "were concerned about my health", but not about my actual disabilities because they still don't believe me, even with me getting on state disability. They only care that I'm fat now 😐

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

I'm in the same boat. I used to dance semi-professionally, and hike and bike a lot until the combination of chronic migraines and Long Covid knocked me out of action. I also hit 40 around that time, and my metabolism isn't what it was when I was 20! Over the last few years I've gained a good bit of weight on a very short body thanks to the inability to be as active as I was, and a lifelong battle with a serious sweet tooth. People I know have been understanding about my weight gain, but sometimes I wish that strangers could see the old, buff me instead of how I look now.

[@lavibratariana1539]

"America values hard work... off the backs of other people who you can exploit..." YuP so true 😮‍💨

[@danimariafe]

I noticed that on TikTok (at least Latin America where I'm from) when people post their major glow ups is always them being skinnier or with a lighter complexion and the comments are like wow how did u do it? they be praising only those things

[@SpiritVines]

They do that here too

[@Nikola-vs6fd]

Well a fit person is more attractive than a fat person

[@niamhheron5587]

Got the most compliments of my life when I was going through chemo and extremely underweight. Personally I wasn’t offended because I don’t believe in boohooing about “thin-shaming” when fatphobia literally kills people. It was just crazy because I knew that everywhere I looked in media, my chemo ravaged body was actually represented as an ideal!!!!

[@KhadijaMbowe]

See???? I’m just saying we can never know

[@kaitlin3287]

yeppp this! while in treatment for my ED i had noticed the same thing. when i was nearly fifty pounds lighter (experiencing an irregular heartbeat, breathing problems, gastroparesis, lightheadedness, constant lethargy etc. etc.) i saw my body type represented FARRR more in media than i do after gaining life saving weight! the real kicker is i’m still tiny i’m like 5’0 & 130 ish lbs. being in residential treatment really made me check my biases at the door. i met both very fat women who were much healthier than me and women who i thought of as having “perfect bodies” who weren’t even deemed medically stable enough to walk up a flight of stairs. it really put things into perspective for me and woke me up to the reality that you can not tell the state of someone’s health by looking at their weight, shape, or size with the exception of EXTREME outliers

[@yomama69157]

I AM SO READY for this video you don't even know. As someone who has overcome anorexia, my ed put health into a completely different perspective for me. It absolutely baffles me how people will go to such extremities to be thin and yet no one bats an eye or stops to ask if those behaviors are actually unhealthy and disordered. Yet the SECOND they see someone who is bigger bodied eating anything remotely processed they have something to say. Thank you for creating a safe space to talk about all this Khadija

[@MsMeanica]

Exactly…this pissed me off so much growing up that when I would get compliments I would flat out tell people oh yeah lol its cause I have crippling anxiety :)

[@nervouscrepe]

It's not care, it's ✨control✨

[@robynr3130]

@nervouscrepe *It's not care, it's ✨control✨* ^^It needed to be said again! 👏🏽

[@kitkatrina1337]

you're so right, the objectively scientifically proven fact that obesity is a deadly disease is actually a government conspiracy. you guys sound like flat earthers.

[@bentbird9329]

That’s exactly it! 👏🏼

[@annarose932]

So I am currently 23 and I'm a British cis-woman. I have been diagnosed with Primary Amenorrhea since I was about 18. This means I have not had a natural menstration cycle that other people who have a womb do. In UK we have something called BMI scale, which takes in someone's sex, age, ethnicity and weight to determine if they are at a healthy weight. With my diagnosis abd from the BMI scale, I have been told I am overweight, and need to lose 4 stone just to be considered 'the right weight'. And yeah, has caused my mum to be hostile to me for not losing enough weight, and has just felt suspicious. Especially with the fact that the BMI scale was invented in the 1840s... yes, abd it has not changed. Actually its gotten worse, as it no longer takes into consideration your age. So, an insecure 16 year old could use it and be told their overweight and feel insecure.

[@sarahwatts7152]

Plus it was originally based on the bodies of white dudes, so it really doesn't work that well for women anyways. Even if you slot women's bodies into the equation, it's still likely to be data from white women - and the math may need to be changed for female bodies anyway. It's bullshit all around and shame on your mom for having a blind spot like that

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

The BMI is such BS. One of its biggest flaws is that it doesn't take body composition into account, and the fact that bone in denser than muscle, and muscle is denser than fat, all of which can drastically change what a person weighs, depending on what their body is made of. As an example, when I was in my early 30's, taking up to 5 dance classes a week, and biking almost daily, my BMI said that I was overweight for my very short height, even though I had less body fat than some people who were taller and the same weight as me, since muscle weighs more than fat. Just one way that the BMI is wildly inaccurate. I'm older now, and my body composition and level of fitness have definitely changed, but the BMI still sucks.

[@loureedpipes]

​@@thing_under_the_stairsExactly. Like, bmi was created as a guideline for measuring the health of a country or an entire area, not an individual person. I don't know why people thought it was a good idea to start using it to measure individual health, as the different categorizations are incredibly broad in terms of who fits into them (regardless of actual health)

[@mudkip_btw]

BMI is actually worse, it reduces people to weight/height (in m)². Obviously not a great metric for health. I'm supposed to be healthy at the lower limit of "normal" but I'm only there because of a (previous) eating disorder and an anxiety disorder ruining my sleep. My doctor just looked me dead in the eyes and told me "I just stress to much about studying", which I don't

[@notbot2648]

The US uses the BMI scale, too. I feel your pain.

[@emmadilemma73]

If we care about health as a society, lets make food and healthcare free. Lets shift our work priorities to actually take care of each other.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Just mention ‘fatphobia’ in the wrong place and the pack of wolves just descend upon us.

[@ThankYaMuch]

It's the brain rot being pushed on young boys and men. They genuinely believe what they say is what's insane. There's no reasoning with them.

[@ritchieashley8843]

It can be any place and there will be someone yapping about hEalTh

[@Subsfrubetome]

@@ritchieashley8843 I am healthier now that i have lost weight, I wouldn´t recommend being obese

[@alpacafish1269]

fr

[@ritchieashley8843]

@@Subsfrubetome I’m happy for you, but that’s not everyone’s journey. And that convo shouldn’t factor into treating fat ppl like human beings

[@ottercai]

So, glad you made this and are talking about your own past biases. I grew up in a home with a parent with an eating disorder and two parents that both shamed people for their weight. My first thought is not always the kind and compassionate one, but my second thought is. I try to have compassion for myself in the way that I was raised and those first thoughts aren’t mine, but the result of bullying and shaming that I was raised in and taught.

[@HazelwithaZ]

Eerily same.

[@LittlestOrca]

I wanted to add onto your point about mental health, and how we are more willing to accept people with anxiety than someone with a personality disorder. That’s definitely true, and as someone with severe OCD, ADHD, and anxiety, people will say they accept and support me, but once they see the sheer severity of my symptoms, they act as if I am crazy, or as if it’s all my fault I struggle from these things, or weirdly enough try to infantilize me in a way that makes it seem like I’m some sort of dumb child that is completely controlled by emotion and doesn’t deserve to have autonomy, especially when I am struggling through severe anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or executive dysfunction As a person with PCOS, it’s also difficult to reconcile with fatness being seen as a moral failing because, like you said, there are so many factors that can cause someone to be fat. Even though I wasn’t fat as a kid, I had a lot of masculine features from a young age, which is part of what caused me to develop an eating disorder at age 11, in an attempt to make my body more “socially acceptable”. I really appreciate you making this video. I have struggled with hating my body since I was 9 years old. And hearing someone say that it’s possible to see bodies in a neutral, nonjudgmental way is inspiring, and gives me hope that I can learn to love my body too.

[@HazelwithaZ]

I get so angry about food. Why does society make it so hard to navigate? I'm a recovering sugar addict and binge eater, and it's impossible to be healthy in this society without thinking about my weight and diet and longterm goals on a daily basis. I'm healthier now, but I'm not free. We are obsessed and addicted as a society and it feels like there's nowhere to hide.

[@wplants9793]

I hear you. I hate to be a doomer but it’s designed to be that way, we get hooked on poor quality food and companies make bank off of it. A lot of people can relate to what you talk about, the sugar addiction…you’re not alone. Personally it took me 18 months to get off sugar and I wasn’t even a disordered eater. But I was slow and steady, I needed to do it because I get had yeast overgrowth taking over my body that drove me batty. Eating whole foods helped me not want the junk anymore, but that’s an entire lifestyle change so it takes a long time. In any case, best of luck, if you started a YT channel about it I bet others would relate :)

[@CanIswearinmyhandle]

I don't get the "they're a strain on the healthcare system" by that logic so many people are a strain, smokers, drug users, people in sports, me that time I was slicing a piece of bread in my hand- It really is a slippery slope.

[@oscar5226]

right! it's eugenics!!!! the healthcare system is supposed to exist for ALL of us - if it's strained, it's because the healthcare is busted, not the people

[@kathrynmyrick1739]

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that many people who are a “strain on the healthcare system” are also marginalized groups, particularly groups that are marginalized because they are unable or less able to contribute their labor to our capitalist system. Are the chronically ill and disabled people a strain on the healthcare system? The elderly? Poor people who don’t have insurance and can only use the ER? Homeless people with severe but easily preventable/treatable conditions? All of these people visit the hospital or ER more than more privileged people. Our economy currently can’t transform the labor they can offer into profit, so they are marginalized.

[@redmaple1982]

Aren't smokers universally seen as a strain on the Healthcare system though? This is why tabacco products are heavily taxed and why smoking had been heavily pushed out of the public sphere.

[@anomienormie8126]

“(x) is a strain to (welfare services we as a community agreed upon to support its members)” is insane 💀 Who do they think welfare is for

[@verablack3137]

I think there is a fair argument about strain on the healthcare system, but at no point do we treat those other things as an individual problem. We regulate smoking, and heavily tax it. We have all sorts of regulations in sports around padding, rules, etc to try and keep people safe. We even regulate toasters so they don't electrocute you while preparing food. However, when we try to tighten regulations around school lunch for example, Coke comes in and trys to make it about exercise, and that just muddles the efforts to try and improve school lunches. The problem isn't people making unhealthy choices, after all every time I go to check out in a store the worst unhealthy options are all right there, like cigarettes used to be in the 1960s. We should use legislation to improve our food environment and health not try and yell at people because of their weight because that isn't helping anyone.

[@Silvermoon424]

As a fat woman, thank you so much for this video. What always gets me is that I was thin until college, but as a child and teenager I was CONVINCED I was obese. I had such bad body dysmorphia and it was because of how prevalent fatphobia is (I grew up in the 2000s, which explains a lot).

[@ninawth]

I went through a similar thing and also grew up in the early 2000s

[@alpacafish1269]

[@adriennekeener]

Sometimes I look at pictures from middle school (or even late elementary school tbh) and think about how wild it is that I felt so fat then. I remember my weight being a concern by the middle of third grade. I wonder what might've been different in my life if it hadn't been.

[@SabSaberhagen]

Something very similar happened to me. Grew up believing I was very fat because that's all I heard from family and classmates. Then a few years ago I found a pic of myself and it was wild to discover I was just an average kid, maybe a bit chubby... I'm sorry we all got our perception of our bodies so messed up :(

[@ChelseaLinaeve]

god I feel this so, so strongly ;; In high school I was 180lb and thought I was fat because I got lots of comments about my weight/dieting and my BMI listed me as overweight but I've always been tall and somewhat muscular. Looking back at photos of myself from that time I was average to SLIM, I'm astonished that I felt that way at all - but that's what I was taught I should feel from a very young age.

[@StormSought]

You're so right about linking health and disability and fear and poor treatment, I lost weight when I got sick but people still ask me if I run, because they want to believe you can outrun chronic illness. They have to believe they'll never be unhealthy because they do the Right Things. They can't tolerate the uncertainty of understanding that disability or whatever can just happen to anyone. Health HAS to be moral so they can feel safe.

[@Brainjoy01]

I don't see why the mob wants to drag me for taking Wegovy for weightloss. I'm 5'4'', being obese since I was a child. Been 300lbs since 14. I got weight loss surgery at 16, one of the first 1000 teens in the country to 10 years ago. I got my first blood clot at 24, was told by plenty doctors if I don't fix my binge eating I would die. I was on Adderall for binge eating and ate through it. The weight loss surgery worked for a few years but needs revision which I cannot afford. Wegovy was the first med that made the food demons become quiet. Surgery didn't do this. I ate my entire life, often puking in a bag near my bed from making myself sick and still going back to the kitchen to make more. When I tell friends I'm on it they tell me about everyone they know who's diabetic and say i'm sick too. I deserve to live to.

[@sarahmundy233]

You do deserve to live too! I’m so glad you found something that helps you

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

Congratulations on finding help that works for you!

[@100LbsDown]

Congratulations! The food noise disappearing was a shock to me when it first happened. You feel like, is THIS how it feels in everyone else’s head? Quiet?!

[@splitintwo_5432]

Exactly! I'm Diabetic (Type 1 but still) so of course I dislike the fact that there's an Ozempic shortage and other diabetics can't get their medication, but it's not the fault of people like you. You and plenty of others need Wegovy to live just as much as those Diabetics who need Ozempic to live, and neither group is at fault for the shortage. I hate the fact that people are unfairly blaming those who need the medication for the shortage. Congratulations for finding something that helps you live. I wish you good luck in all your future endeavors

[@aaronfelcity1403]

Exactly. I can’t even get my prescription though soooo

[@None_the_Spades]

I feel like the way people, even the ones who claims to be "progressive", to be "on the left", gets extra cruel when talking about fat people is so sad, like people don't get this necessarily cruel when being homophobia and racism but have blood in their eyes talking about fat people, it sucks so much.

[@angel127_]

i have a friend (i use the word friend loosely atp lol) who is just like this calling out racism misogyny homophobia etc is so easy for her but when it comes to fat ppl i have to tune out wht shes saying bc its insane. i just distanced myself bc wtaf...

[@BmoreAkuma]

I find this claim strange. The insistence to bring up "the left" in KZbin comments to paint such a broad brush on a group of people. Can you site an example of a "leftist" that does what you are talking about?

[@None_the_Spades]

@@BmoreAkuma I said people who "claims", I didn't mean to paint everyone on the left. I said "even the people who claims", please read it in good faith. I'm talking about the liberals who fancy with being progressive and identify themselves with progressive ideology, yet holding reactionary viewpoints like fatphobia. It's sadly not very uncommon and it makes me mad because the people who should be standing up for me as a fat person, is not standing up for me.

[@alpacafish1269]

True. There's this immediate dehumanization when it comes to fat/ plus-sized individuals. Fatphobes always try to find a way to validate their point (mostly as a "fact") by saying it's "unhealthy" and by fat peeps just *existing* (basically), their sending an unhealthy, unsanitary, immoral and dangerous message to -the children- [ or they say it's "promoting" obesity ] It's just so stupid + dangerous honestly (that mindset) and I always tell people that even IF the fat person is unhealthy or obese, they STILL should be presented and met with basic human decency and should be seen/ treated as a human, BECAUSE THEY ARE!! This immediate dehumanization of *people* that aren't considered the standard is something that I've been seeing A LOT and people really do need to check themselves, because you DO NOT want to cross that line where you meet those people with bulldozed apathy.

[@BmoreAkuma]

@@None_the_Spades No one said "everyone," but broad paint brush keystrokes are such a waste of time.

[@jazuren2585]

This video is amazing and what I needed to see, especially right now. I’m a (black) women who’s been fat my whole life and a month from now I’m having gastric sleeve surgery for my health. Being overweight has been effecting my mental health my whole life and yes I’ve also always wanted to be “small” and “cute”, or skinny in my mind. But I had kinda started to accept my size until I found out the reason I retain weight was because I have Lipedema. Being fat on top of having Lipedema has become physically very painful for me. I’m not morbidly obese and I were a size 16-18 right now, but I’ve been rapidly gaining weight lately and it’s having a physical toll on my body. But the thing is it’s been hard because I’m doing this for my health, but I’ve have to fight doctors and people who either talk about how much “better” I’ll look or how they think I’m “cheating” by doing surgery instead of “just working out”. I lost weight two years ago on my ADHD medication and got down to a small size because I was eating 1-0 meals a day, and felt terrible energy wise but the same people saying I’ll be “cheating” right now with surgery were the ones saying I looked fantastic when I lost weight the first time. I just want to exist in a healthy body. One where it doesn’t hurt to move because I’m fat. One where I don’t have constant headaches and forget to eat cause I’m skinny. And one where people don’t criticize my body and looks on both sides. I know that when I get the sleeve done I’m probably not going to be a size 0, which I’m fine with. I’ll still likely be considered “fat” or “mid-size” or whatever, but I’m looking forward to hopefully being healthy and able to move without my knees hurting. But the thing is I was fine when I was fat before my weight loss on ADHD medication, too. So much of the conflict I’ve had in my head has been how people treat me when I’m fat vs skinny. That’s the issue.

[@urfriendbb6792]

Thanks for shedding light on this issue. When I was at the sickest point in my life, I was inundated with compliments about my how skinny I was. Now I’m not as sick and gained weight back, things have changed. I don’t understand the constant pressure for being thin and skinny.

[@cocoval77]

I was offered Ozempic by my endo back in 2020 and i’m not diabetic. My doctor explained to me the entire issue going on in Hollywood and how there was a shortage and still proceeded to offer it to me. I declined. I wasn’t even overweight, just wanted to be smaller. It’s possible to be struggling with your weight and still care about the health of others. I didn’t take it for a reason…other people needed it to flipping live.

[@thatjessjohnson]

Showing my age, but we've just been through this all so many times before. I was put on fen-phen as a teen before it was pulled off the market for causing heart, lung, and brain damage in people. There were billboards on the freeway thoughtout my adolescence for gastric bypass, gastric sleeves, etc. The constant abuse of fat public figures -- the headlines, the jokes, the TV specials -- it may have been a background hum for thinner people, but the environment for a fat kid was absolutely toxic and this is what informs my distaste for how we talk about Ozempic. Even if Wegovy is as good at producing sustained weightloss as its claimed to be, there will still be a social and moral pressure for fat people "failing" to "take care of ourselves." I'm both fat AND newly diabetic while this whole conversation is happening, so it's pretty directly my problem when public figures are telling my employer I'm just not taking care of myself and rekindling the idea in my family's head that their dreams of having a thin child who can move through the world without the friction of a fat body could still come true, after all these years, rather than loving the child they actually have.

[@robynr3130]

@thatjessjohnson OMG yes! I remember fen-phen!! I'm glad that you *lived to tell* about your experience of being prescribed fen-phen. 🙏🏽 Isn't it awful how much our society hates fat that they'll create and prescribe fat-reducing medications that have side effects that cause heart, lung and brain damage! Better dead from a heart attack, respiratory failure or brain tumor than to be * F A T !*

[@naiadnb]

love your discussion of noticing and working on your own biases. i've seen friends go through the same process in unlearning transphobia-actually noticing the biased thoughts when they happen and making the conscious effort to negate them. the crucial part to me is not some inherent hind brain goodness but repeatedly choosing to change your thoughts and behavior to something kinder or just more neutral.

[@forestfreeman1600]

Raised with restricting parents im so disillusioned to weight loss. Its a normalized way to addictive thinking/self harm and it does nothing to obsess over your meat suit. Once you reach your "number" will you be satisfied?We're here to have fun not appear perfect, and we arent our bodies

[@N0T504N0NYM0U5]

Maintenance Phase is one of the best podcasts I've listened to, and I'm ecstatic to see their work being referenced in the context of learning how to extend kindness and understanding to others.

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

Same! They were essential in helping me to confront the internalized fat phobia and extend compassion to myself and others. I'm much more critical of the media I consume as a result. I am pursuing intentional weight loss, but it's now in the context of improving my health markers, feeling stronger, and managing newly diagnosed autoimmune disorders.

[@nyamburam.waruingi4479]

I love Maintenance Phase too 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

[@katie.mi.]

you inspire me to use my voice to shape minds while practicing compassion and accountability! i know you have been struggling with audience interactions, but let me a voice saying that i deeply appreciate your vulnerability and honesty. staying in the room when things get hard is the key to creating a more compassionate internet!

[@KhadijaMbowe]

🥺 thank you for saying that, it really means a lot

[@amiesparkle00]

@@KhadijaMbowe I very much enjoy your videos. Thoughtful and rational takes on some tough subjects. Id like to respectfully ask you to perhaps consider getting to know a bit more about the “Covid Cautious” or “Covid Aware” communities. This slice of often vulnerable society that is being left behind merely because they are choosing to protect the health of themselves and others.

[@anomienormie8126]

So glad u posted this cuz I’ve known I (skinny my whole life) have fatphobic thoughts ingrained in me for a while now and have been working on it. It’s a nuanced subject for sure but people claiming it is “out of concern” are almost always lying to themselves. Right now, fatphobia harms people more than fat does. The culture around it is bonkers. Being underweight I always look for weight gaining information and am bombarded by “loose weight!” ads and search results. It’s insane that society thinks losing weight is the universal ultimate goal of exercising or eating healthy.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Your cold open reminded me of seeing an edit where Kelly Osbourne said something like ‘Why shouldn’t I use Ozempic instead of doing something boring like working out?’

[@infinitedreaming222]

Which is silly because not everyone can take it without working out. Shes just a ill informed glp1 super responder. She does not know that this med doesn’t work for everyone and may require a strict regime to get excess weight off.

[@757Princess]

Say it ain’t so!! She’s been unproblematic for decades!!

[@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195]

@@757Princess I find that hard to believe for a nepo baby

[@MrMoz32]

​@@757Princessdid you mean Problematic? 😊🤔 Cause she had open her mouth and spew so much nonsense and ignorant opinions in the past that Unproblematic is not a term that applies to her 😖😖😁😁

[@lococomrade3488]

​@757Princess You mean she was silent and out of the limelight. Kelly has and will never be more than gross, ignorant, spoiled, and narcissistic.

[@SuperKingkongkingkon]

Obesity is associated with so many disorders, it’s hard to count. Love your self, and work on eating healthy, exercising as often as possible .

[@kirkjaerify]

"You're not responsible for your first thought, but the second one and how you respond" Gold!!

[@ChillingTales12]

My first thought was Gee I'm hungry my second thought was I should go eat and I responded by eating. I'd say I'm pretty responsible

[@tyrreloneal5178]

21:34 exactly, because those SAME people who say that are the SAME people who refuse to wear masks or acknowledge the fact that we're STILL in a pandemic! So much for caring about people's health... 😕😕

[@zkkitty2436]

I was thinking this the whole video... it goes for Khadija too though, I wish they would make the connection between how society treats disabled people and how we're completely being pushed out of public life currently. I wish they would mask instead of subscribing to the "covid is over" thing. I think there's an intense uptick in people's comfort being overtly discriminatory and fatphobic due to eugenicist ideas people have internalized about this pandemic. The health craze isn't new but people's vitriol feels more intense than a few years ago.

[@tyrreloneal5178]

@@zkkitty2436 I still have hope that Khadija will lock tf in at SOME point and realize that they've become part of the problem! As for their colleagues, most of them are a LOST CAUSE!

[@parzival9651]

Obesity is proven to be a big factor in severe covid risk but a lot of y’all fat activists deny that fact

[@charliepaige196]

The only reason I lost weight was because I changed my diet to foods that I noticed helped my energy levels and I stopped binge eating. I didn’t do it to lose weight, I just genuinely wanted to stop feeling so sluggish and naturally a little weight came off. I’m still a solid 145, but I’m super happy! I feel no need to be ultra thin or ripped, but my green veggies and lean meats make me feel energized and ready to go. Health doesn’t have to mean being super skinny!! And a lil dessert is always a delight❤️ *Btw another reason why I work out/eat right- I have a family history of Parkinson’s disease and I know that later on my body may not be as able as it is now, so I want to be able to do things like touch my toes for as long as I can! 😂

[@LumenInFusco]

26:26 One incident that will live rent-free in my head for the rest of my life was a time I was eating lunch at a pita pit and a man at least 10 years older than me came up to my table and left his business card as a "Fitness Consultant" for me without saying anything. If something like that ever happens again I will take the card, stare the person right in the eye, and eat it.

[@AirborneAshes]

the art in the background of late 🤌

[@DaFROMAN95]

Great video! As a big, straight, and black male, navigating fatness as a kid/teen was a nightmare. There was this constant anxiety looming over, preparing for a day that you would potentially be the subject of attention, getting questioned on why would you wanna look like this, someone pointing out what I eat, or if I was eating ANYTHING, it’d be an issue. To have other peers dirty mack on you because being fat, meant that they (as a smaller or athletic build) deserved the girl I was talking to. To parents not knowing how cater to a big kid and building his confidence, outside of means that only focus on appearance. It’s like seeing and hearing how people would speak on you or even about fat people in general, really gives you a perspective that leads to you seeing how fatness is a disruption to people’s obsessive “aesthetic” of being skinny. So much that it’s obvious and hard to look past. Now I’ve gotten in a better mindset amongst the feelings of myself and those who look like me. It’s very much an ongoing journey, but worth it.

[@elw1289]

The way i literally opened the app to find a video about fatphobia and saw you posted a video on the very topic 20 min ago 😮 I've been struggling with 'passing moral judgments' on my own body, which has gained much weight recently because of a lifesaving medication i started taking. Thank you for the video and your emphasis on nuance, as well as all the book recommendations! Im really excited about the mental health video coming out as well ❤

[@bdermard]

thank you for including the process of addressing your own biases in this video. i think its a really important part of the conversation to frame changing ones opinion as growth, as many people’s first response to their way of thinking being challenged is to push back or retaliate. that has certainly been my experience any time i’ve brought it up in response to a fatphobic comment from a friend

[@pensivesoprano1637]

The concept of perceiving fat people are less competent hit home so hard for me. I am fat. People seem to think that I don't know how to "get thinner". "You know, you can just eat fewer carbs. Just do more cardio! Eat fewer calories than you intake." I wish I could remember the conedian who said it, but I feel like screaming the response "yeah, I'm fat. I'm not stupid." It's MADDENING.

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

Haha, I feel this so much. And the miseducation about carbs that the general public think is true is laughable. :D I mean the general assumption of what I don't want to do or CAN"T do because of my "size" is annoying. I feel like I am in a constant state of proving I am not lazy despite the fact I am surrounded by thinner people lazier then me who avoid as much work as possible. But it's like I have to take on 10 times there load just to counteract the percieved lazyness of "fat" bodies.

[@valentinatyukosova9676]

We have a mandatory medical exam at my uni every year (I study in Japan) and every time they weigh and measure me I get a little "helpful" pamphlet. Last year's version said to avoid eating western food, because Japanese food is healthier. This year it says to do squats while drying laundry. I'm going to get at least two more of them because the only way I could ever fit into the "heathy" BMI range is by getting a double mastectomy.

[@jasmin_says_hi]

Thanks for pointing out the conscious effort that goes into unlearning!! I have a history of being extra judgmental of my belly fat and now try to go out of my way to see more of the bodies that I’m not used to accepting in hopes of eventually accepting my own body and others more easily. Not perfect but we’re on the journey. Love your takes Khadija ✨

[@shaeanthony1288]

Appreciate everything you said! Just finished reading "Unshrinking: How to Face Fatphobia", and recommend it to anyone who wants to dig further into this. We have so much to unlearn and fatphobia is common and unchecked, great to start with checking ourselves first.

[@Blade9blood]

You reminded me of this old-ish Kaiser commercial, depicting this 'ideal' community of fruit coming out of vending machines, bike riding on the freeway.. and someone reading a newspaper with the headline, "Obesity: A Look Back." Even as a kid with no knowledge of the term fatphobia, that commercial always rubbed me the wrong way. 🤨

[@counterfeit_red]

Like they fully "eliminated" a whole type of person based on what they look like. Actually scary, since that's just how my family looks genetically.

[@ashesfalling4724]

This video helped me so much. I couldn’t understand why my ex made me so uncomfortable whenever he was talking about “being healthy” or dieting but now I get it. He was pretty good at hiding his fat phobia in dog whistles and “just caring about people”. I still hate the skinny = healthy thing because when I was at my skinniest and was at my unhealthiest both mentally and physically. Thank you for creating a space where people can learn and talk about this!!!!

[@Micahangelina_]

Omg, on health… looking back I’m just baffled by how often ppl would ‘compliment’ me on ‘how good’ I was doing n to ‘keep it up’ when I was living an internal never ending hell with the whole spectrum of EDs. I’ve been in recovery for a couple years now n doing so much better in my head, but my rock bottom was basically either I’m gonna face this and take back my life or I’m just gonna unalive myself.

[@anitaazmoodeh1494]

the self-compassion and accountability part 👌

[@TheYasmineFlower]

When I was at my biggest, people sneered at me on the street. Now that I'm actively working on losing weight (without resorting to things like Ozempic unless I absolutely need it), that's called "fatphobic" or "disordered". And the latter from people who are supposed to be "on my side" (shoutout to Mickey fucking Atkins 🙄). There's just no winning. Either side judges me for my body and my real or perceived decisions about my life. It's to a point when even just seeing the word "fatphobia" puts me on my guard. Being told "Maybe you're just naturally fat" is A: Nonsense, I wasn't born fat, I know that I became overweight by overeating, and B: Tells me that I can't influence anything about my life, and that's so utterly demoralizing. No, I CAN influence my body to a degree and I am doing so. I want to be healthier (and not kill my joints before I'm 50). And yes, I also want to be thinner, whatever that ends up looking like. Fighting obesity on a population scale (access to better quality food, access to whatever exercise someone is able to do if any, access to education on nutrition, access to health care etc.) is important. Fighting obesity on another individual is nonsense and judgmental. Fighting obesity on my own body is not fatphobic or disordered and no one gets to dictate what I do with my body, no matter how much they might whine that it "affects other people" as if I'm out here being a celebrity who's not revealing that their body was achieved with plastic surgery and access to expensive personal trainers and chefs. Honestly, I feel that the whole discourse around obesity is a shitshow at the moment and doesn't acknowledge nuances or personal decisions or so much more. It's exhausting.

[@Cunnilinguistics69]

I am so glad you brought up the health argument because that’s usually where the discussion ends and it frustrates me to no end. “Fatphobia bad, be healthy in what way that suits you!” Ending the convo there is like falling face first on the finish line

[@chemical93girl]

THANK YOU SO MUCH i’m on ozempic for weight loss purposes and SO tired of the public discourse on it that is simplistic and rooted in fatphobia. The majority of people taking it for weight loss is not celebrities trying to fit better into jeans, but real people who have tried everything else and are now given a new lease on life. Obesity has real, dangerous health concerns - I for example have a chronic kidney condition, and my weight loss means I have better chances of recovering from a transplant. Also fyi in Europe it doesn’t cost thousands, more like £100-200 a month privately. We’ve been given a medicine that will save lives, but people choose to focus on vanity and perceived laziness as well as demonising people over the shortage. I really enjoyed this nuanced discussion (as always) thank you!

[@Fenilee]

Thank you for making an ozempic video that doesn't perpetuate stereotypes and actively tries to not be fatphobic:) it's consistent with your content, but it's still tough to do and some other creators have disappointed me lately about that, so thank you

[@argusfleibeit1165]

I've been "normal" to borderline obese in weight in my lifetime. Have very low energy, seldom exercise, and have very disordered eating. My gut reaction to seeing very obese people is one of fear, I think. In my head I say, "If you don't watch out and control yourself better, THAT will happen to you". I don't think I blame them as much as feel sorry for them. I know how much harder it is to "just" be 25 lbs. more than when I was thinner. I grew up in a very looks-conscious, judgmental family that constantly made negative comments about others, especially watching TV together. I try not to react and think the way I do, but I'm not going to deny that these negative reactions always happen to me. It's a case of "there but for fortune"-- I don't give myself praise for not becoming obese, because I feel so out of control with my eating habits and lack of exercise.

[@JennaLovesPickles28]

I’m sorry you dealt with that growing up. I think I had a “friend” like that in middle school who just wouldn’t eat lunch and we would ask her about it because we were worried for her lack of eating. I remember one time I was away from the table and as I walked back she said something like “I don’t want to look like her” in reference to me. So, yeah it really sucks when someone’s fear is my body. But you can’t really control gut reactions, just maybe don’t say it out loud.

[@savethebees7281]

28:00 hey girl!! i just wanted to correct the implicit assumption that disabled people don’t do sports (fat people aren’t disabled, i’ve been talking about how active they are). as a disabled person, a lot of us do! anyway, loved your video and your work as a whole ❤️

[@HaShomeret]

I found this channel from the pole dancing opera video that I saw on Tumblr that someone said "they do video essays" and that's my jam! And this video is right up my alley!

[@verybarebones]

I have relatives that need ozempic and can't get it because of all the celebs and people with more money than sense getting on it. Instead they're on much more aggressive, ineffective drugs.

[@lizzybeary]

Our pharmaceutical model needs to change. Like if there's a shortage of a drug, it should be distributed on a need basis.

[@verybarebones]

@@lizzybeary A lot more than the pharmaceutical model needs to change before being rich stops being a cheat code to life to the detriment of everyone else

[@rightplaceeverything464]

I hated what I looked like ever since I started looking at fashion magazines and seeing how beautiful the models were (in 1995 when I came out). Until a friend pointed out that models are living mannequins. That they’re used in magazines specifically because they are extremely plain. No distinct features like a big nose, or extended ears, or fluffy lips, etc. That perfection in our culture means you’re void of defining features in order to make it easier for others to attach their fantasy to you. But what you talked about, even verbalized your thought process, woke me up to an extension of biases I never thought about before. I have a mannequin mind that’s been filled with other people’s fantasies that I repeat without thinking about at all; holy shit! Thanks for the work you’re doing.

[@plaza3825]

The part about confronting why you want others to be healthy made me think. I'm uncomfortable with smoking, which is super unhealthy, but I can't say I care about the smoker themself since I don't want anything to do with them. Really, it's the cancer risk from secondhand smoke that scares me. I don't wanna deal with that. And I find smoking itself just disgusting. Tho, I feel like disgust is justified because tobacc really is dangerous and avoiding dangerous things is the whole point of disgust from an evolutionary persepective. Of course, fat people aren't inherently dangerous and shouldn't be reviled

[@gnomie2.0]

I think people do actually have the same disgust response to fatness as you describe with smoking, because they associate fatness with a lower quality of life, whether from disease or discrimination or both. While you can’t stand next to a random person and catch their fatness (the way you can inhale someone’s toxic smoke) medical researchers have actually developed a social contagion model of obesity that hasn’t yet been debunked, to my knowledge. I think people also fear that if fatness is normalized as one of many acceptable characteristics for a body to have, it will be harder for them to resist it themselves. There’s a whole lot of “self-help/improvement” gurus out there telling people they are basically who they are because of who they associate with most frequently. So when someone who fears their own fatness reacts with disgust to the sight or mention of another person who is fat, it kind of makes sense in the same way as your smoking example, IMO. As for debunking any or all of the negative associations people have with fatness in the first place, that’s a whole other issue, and I’ll quit typing now and finish listening to Kadijah talking about just that! :)

[@lizzybeary]

Fat people aren't inherently dangerous and absolutely should not be treated poorly. I understand that people exist in bigger bodies, but for some people, gaining extra fat is life threatening for them. I do think our collective view of size is definitely skewed and even a healthy amount of weight gain is sometimes seen as negative (like how the tabloids treat women when they gain a little weight). I feel like when people talk about fatphobia, people try to distance themselves from it, but if we can see that certain foods are bad and instigate weight gain and you have 600lb people, neither of those things are healthy and it's understandable that people feel some type of way about it. But again I'll reiterate that that doesn't make it okay to insert yourself into people's live to say something about their weight or treat them poorly.

[@WhatWouldLubitschDo]

21:14 you’d think if people care about public health and the healthcare system, they would be passionate advocates for available preventive care, food and drug regulation, and other public health concerns like shortening working hours and building safe neighborhoods where people can walk to the grocery store 🙄 Also, if it’s about the cost, taxing the rich as well as the poor.

[@CDKohmy]

Lately I've been experiencing internalized fatphobia. I've been on keto. It worked for a while, everyone warned me that it won't be enough to maintain the weight loss that I acheived at the start, that I should shift or exercise more, but didn't listen. Early on, people complimented me for my willpower, but lately it has dwindled, likely because it was so focused at the start, I'm burning out. I want to exercise more, but when I think about it I'm low on spoons and then spiral. Also my beauty standards need to shift, as they are too high; I've wanted to look like an androgynous enby that looks good in a crop top and skirt. Even my desire for armor has shifted from wanting fitted plate armor to going for maille at the most (cost is also relevant, and in ways related to a desire to, but not ready for microHRT).

[@imtatianapellegrini]

I love when Khadija chuckles at her own jokes. It's amazing

[@victoriajankowski1197]

As a fat person with health issues at least tangentially related to my weight I think one of the most frustrating things about the 'discourse' is it actively hurts my ability to find help or community since I often find myself in one of 2 extreme spaces, fat acceptance space where I get shouted down for needing to loose weight for my health, I must be lying..... or weight loss spaces that will alternately shame me for having failed to loose weight and then push outright unhealthy, even dangerous 'solutions' because the issue for them isn't my health but my weight alone....It's so frustrating and disheartening, and it's not like Drs are much better as a fem presenting person Drs can vacillate between 'A woman should have meat on her you're fine' or 'You should stop eating and exercise until you have lost over half your body weight' both things I have been told by licensed medical professionals ....

[@radish1395]

I loved how Aubrey put it in the Maintenance Phase episode on Ozempic-losing 15% of my body fat will take me from a BMI standard of “morbidly obese” to “morbidly obese.” I remember watching a video about “unwanted weight” from a nurse educating nursing students about talking with patients about weight. She listed like 15-20 things as to why we have unwanted weight and ALL OF THEM WERE REASONS OUT OF OUR CONTROL. Weight is so much more than “choices” and food and movement. It’s environmental. It’s genetic. It’s so much more out of our control than anyone realizes. Also, fun fact, a fat person can check off ALL criteria for anorexia in the DSM but cannot be diagnosed with it because of their BMI. They will be diagnosed with an “other specified ED with Atypical anorexia nervosa” which may not be approved for treatment. I know Medicaid in my state is cracking down on paying for treatment with other specified and unspecified diagnoses. Food for thought.

[@hollo0o583]

There’s a black woman in my neighbourhood who always has white braids, like the ones you have, and blue contact lenses and she kinda reminds me (visually) of the siren girl in “Wednesday” she just looks magical!

[@shadebug]

As ever with these things, we have a habit of swinging too far one way or another. For years I’ve been saying I need to lose weight and part of that is because I prefer how I look when I’m svelte but the other part is that I know that I have a habit of developing visceral fat. Got me a tummy like a pregnant person. Nevertheless, whenever I say I need to lose weight people tell me I’m beautiful just the way I am. Except that on Friday I got diagnosed with a fatty liver and my grandfather died of cirrhosis (this was long before I was born. I’m over it). So it’s a problem but people tell me that I shouldn’t worry about it and that I actually look bad when I lose weight and that’s not helping me either. The thing is that it is also worth keeping in mind that while some bodies may naturally have a high or low metabolism and while some bodies work better at a certain weight, there’s no guarantee that those two things are going to work together in a beneficial way. Sometimes being skinny is a real problem and sometimes being fat is a real problem. And sometimes it isn’t. Which is to say, be supportive but if you aren’t the kind of doctor that specialises in these things then maybe that support doesn’t take the form of advice on how to gain or lose weight

[@faux_poes_foes]

thank you for this video. i especially appreciate your touching on the fact that a lot of the arguments people make for policing fat bodies comes down to a false idea of "health" and that somehow our worth is tied to our level of perceived "health". I just really appreciate all your takes and have been on a similar journey myself, especially as I've gone from "straight sized" to fat in the last few years. Its taken a lot of unpacking and self exploration to get to the place of acceptance i have, but i also think its a necessary step for everyone to take.

[@theplotsynopsis1112]

Ableism and fear of being sick or vulnerable in a society that throws vulnerable groups by the wayside is definitely a major player in the fatphobia discourse ! Even tough, as you point out, being plus sized doesn't actually have anything to do with any sort of disability in it of itself.

[@angelbecool]

You're one of the few persons on KZbin I actually enjoy watching and agree with on multiple levels (from the content I've seen). Thank you for the effort you put into your videos!

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

I was going to reiterate how it's better to be fat and fit, than skinny and sick. Or how you can't tell anything about a person's health or medical history simply by looking at them from afar. However, fatphobes are the same people who claim we don't need universal healthcare because "proper diet and exercise" are all you need. They act as though this precludes any injury, disease, or genetic illness, and that if you end up with those, then it's still somehow your fault. I've been considered overweight at various times in my life, due to factors like depression, medications, stress, anxiety, genetics, lack of access to the best food, and my work schedule leaving me little time for physical activity. None of this was my fault, or anyone else's. Now I'm in better shape than I was in high school, and it's only because of what individual circumstances allowed me. Fatphobes need to mind their own business.

[@afraahisam5789]

Damn khadija u attacked my mindset in many levels, i feel ashamed of the way i thought, but now i can challenge myself to walk with more companion. This video was needed. Thanks, lods .

[@LyssaNicole101]

Love the perspective you brought to this, and what you said at the end about self-compassion, connection, and meeting people where they're at really resonated

[@mxandrew]

i have never lost weight by trying to lose weight I have only lost weight by finding joy in movement and incorporating it into as much of my day as possible. This is not dieting and the more I see someone pushing “dieting” as the answer the more I know they have little actual personal experience. (CICO ppl and reddit excluded… lightly…)

[@amethystdream8251]

Same! The lifestyle makes the body

[@mxandrew]

@@amethystdream8251 absolutely, if i want to run a 5k i train for a 5k and i create a body that can run a 5k. it might be fat and it mighht be muscley and it might be shaped any specific way but all that I focus on is that I achieved the goal I set out for and then dont let myself obsess over how my body looks

[@dominican5683]

My dad was a marine and ran a couple miles per day and physically looked healthy but his doctor told him he was at risk of a heart attack due to hiw unhealthy he ate. A good friend waa overweight physically and got into ballet and weight lifting and ate healthy delicious meal and was able to dead lift a 6'1 adult male. They were still physically overweight but healthier and stronger than most. You're right, you can never tell how healthy a person is but looks alone

[@tamarbeker1701]

It's really strange how since my quick dive into proana Tumblr, these arguments annoy me more, even though I should logically be more grateful than before to the people making them. I'm just gonna say that tho- fatphobia is not only real, but there are places where taking it to its logical conclusion has absolutely horrendous consequences.

[@eyesofwater123]

I find it quite ironic that people who claim they're "independently minded", who aren't sheeple, are the same ones who repeat the same questionable, damaging rhetorics of people who don't fit a certain lifestyle or body image. It's like a hallow echo chamber. And when folks say "we want them to be healthy", they're really saying "they'll look better when they're skinnier." Thanks for the vid!

[@Karynwashere]

“They will look better skinnier” that’s it right there!

[@AnnekeOosterink]

Yup. Because mocking someone is not going to make them healthier (by which they mean thin), and we don't usually stand by the hospital entrance to mock anyone coming in, so it never was about health.

[@jerm-gv9rv]

Yeah…”health” is just their conscience trying to justify the fact they dknt wanna see people exist that they don’t find attractive So if there’s something they think can be changed they need to always encourage it so as many people around them fit with beauty standard

[@parzival9651]

You are reaching hard 😹

[@katg9502]

Just want to say, you help me consider perspectives I've never thought about before (because privilege and thoughts that have been put into my head through society) and I am able to do it in ways where I'm more compassionate to myself while doing it and more compassionate to the world. You help me steady that mirror despite the jumpscare and actually consider my thoughts more deliberately so thank you Khadija ❤

[@alhexajohnson2455]

Absolutely one of the best channels on KZbin, best topics always challenging the way we see things

[@deezname6417]

Thanks on touching on this. Im obese and I work out twice a day every day: Walk 4 miles ( started running the last mile) and bike 20 miles on the week days and 60 miles on the weekend. And also do push up, sit ups, stretches...I don't consume sugar, candy, soda, juice of any kind because it causes me literal pain, my food intake is highly restrictive because of my sciatica...And it took me 6 months to lose 6 pounds. It's not like we're not doing anything, but I'm always gonna be perceived as not doing anything because I'm fat >.>

[@emilyhackmeyer9661]

I’d love to hear more about your thoughts on self compassion + accountability. Great vid as always thanks bae

[@WutupButtercup]

the book Belly of the Beast opened my eyes more to fatphobia and how i have internalized it, and how it is linked to anti--blackness. Also, that line of "we treat the least healthy among us the WORST" goes for our current response to the continued spread of COVID 19. we have stopped the mask mandates and the free testing even though this thing is continuing to disable people DAILY. and the most vulnerable among us feel this the hardest! the root of all of this is eugenics!

[@SHANDIHEARTSTONES]

My doctor prescribed me Ozempic to lose weight so I can get on the transplant list faster cause at my current weight, the heart will just continue to be overworked

[@beestingggirl]

Thank you for putting so much thought into your videos, genuinely my favorite person to listen to

[@milamila1123]

Hope I don't get yelled at for asking this, but... since I noticed "fatphobia" and "fat acceptance" to be primarily American concepts, I don't know how fatphobia can be a thing in a country where over half of the population is obese. Being fat isn't the issue here; it's people being too poor to avoid good food, it's not being educated enough to make good food choices, it's sugar being crammed into every and all food, etc. In poorer countries, like mine, extreme obesity just isn't seen as often. Poor people can't afford any food, so they're extremely thin and/or average weight. Idk, it seems like such a first world problem.

[@Kam_i_]

42% of the US is obese and 73% is at least overweight in some capacity, so you’re mostly right. Obesity is more prominent in the US as a result of the factors you mentioned, but there are a lot of developing nations with obesity on the rise purely because of the ‘first world’ exploiting them, then marketing them shit like coca-cola, fatty meat with low nutritional value, and processed corn products (there’s a lot of information online about obesity in the Cook Islands and Nauru, as well as other pacific island nations.) What pisses me off the most is when fat acceptance advocates in the USA, the heart of the ‘empire’, start saying that because many pacific islanders are obese, therefore fatness is just body type and being skinny is western racism or something. Fitness and health are valued in every culture, and pacific islanders were no different before western exploitation.

[@BadAstra]

LOVED reading Fearing the Black Body! It was the main source for my first science misinformation video, about medical fatphobia.

[@parzival9651]

That book is literally full of misinformation and has been debunked numerous times

[@GattlingCombo]

There was a comic book character in the 2010s under Valient comics named Faith. She was a fat super hero woman. An older TYT show on youtube talked about this comic and of course there were people in the comment section talking about how it was pushing bad health practices. I always wondered how people who made insensitive comments like that think about themselves today. The anti-fat narrative also reminds me of the rugged individualism nonsense that I'm seeing ALOOOOOOT more on twitch and youtube, even in hyper lefty progressive spaces. You can't afford rent? it's your fault, move to a cheaper place, get a better job, no excuse.