We're all Poor, Black, & Ugly? Welcome to Aesthetic Hell...🥴 | Khadija Mbowe

[@solala1312]

being ugly sucks. you know what sucks more? constantly chasing new beauty standards and destroying your body in the process.

[@TamTam9-15]

A word!

[@copiouscat]

Faxxxx

[@Napalmdog]

Wouldn’t it be nice if the camera was placed on the attractive nature of Demeanor for once?

[@sabrinax4575]

Wasting your youth for the validation of strangers online is pretty sucky

[@user-vf3fz7qv6v]

Also destroying your mind and self esteem. As someone who has chased beauty standards, I would focus on how ugly I am and feels like it made it worst

[@ZoieReve]

I think people are starting to fear age….severely

[@Jamhael1]

Only NOW you are noticing this?

[@mo_bat]

Yes, and it's so sad to see. We've been taught to fear and find disgust in how we come naturally--Acne/acne scars, having body fat, signs of aging, etc. I hope someday we as a collective can learn how to not disparage these traits!

[@dripfoe_3307]

Kind of late to the party lol

[@brownjaded]

Uh yeah they call 30’s ancient and they say it’s a joke but that’s just not true

[@solala1312]

always has been the case but now with social media we are exposed to this type of fear mongering even more. it is genuinely exhausting.

[@ZoieReve]

I deleted social media for 50 days and i downloaded again just to see what’s up and I was immediately smacked with “how to be more attractive” content all on my fyp….WHAT is happening

[@sweariefaerie9621]

Making sure your insecurities are still intact because we're not allowed to live in peace with imperfection, as that doesn't line some billionaire's pockets.

[@solala1312]

I only use KZbin and Twitch anymore. the content I consume is tailored to me and I don't have to be exposed to nonsense all the time.

[@muphyna]

Girl that was me in 2022. i deleted social media during the pandemic, spent the entire yearof 2021 social media free and in 2022, after realizing I was perhaps isolating myself a bit too much, I went back. I felt like an alien. I remember that before I deleted instagram, I was so insecure about my looks. I distinctly remember at one point wanting to get a bbl (never wanted one before!!). But once I deleted that app, I noticed I was no longer picking myself apart. And that motivated me to stay away from it. But when I went back… boy it was a shock. Make sure you are curating the content you consume!!!

[@EeeeVeee231]

Omg there's nothing like the freedom of not having social media. I reinstalled ig to stay afloat of news & global crises but will probably delete once & a while

[@MorenaDeRena]

..yeah, i'm sticking to my ao3 and tumblr.

[@remy7257]

So gross how we’re losing appreciation for unique beauty and style because of this late-capitalism algorithm’d “optimization” of, like you said, a “perfect” dimorphism.

[@solala1312]

I always admired women with big noses. I am a woman myself and I think having a unique nose is so rare nowadays. especially in media we see the same type of small operated nose, it just doesn't fit everybody.

[@Nikimouse311]

THIS!! My bf has this kind of toothy smile. I really love it. I think it’s so fucking cute, and he keep talking about how he wants fake teeth. I’m like “nooooooooo it will take away your personality”. And it’s due to all these fucking looks maxing dudes. I hate it.

[@CadillacBoss30]

Well the actual problem is that there aren't enough people with "unique beauty" that are winning or competing with traditional Beauty. and yes that matters.

[@solala1312]

@@CadillacBoss30 winning or competing in what?

[@nikanj6]

You're right. I'm intrigued with very old movies that have such a variety of looks and degrees of attractive and unattractive actors. I think it helps tell the story more authentically.

[@XTheJokeDealer]

“Beauty in the eye of the colonizer” is a barrrrr! 😂😂 3:55

[@charlybrown5264]

💯💯💯💯💯

[@AsAd-gd4hw]

Social constructivist coping mechanism. Physical attractiveness is just indicators of health, perceived ability to provide healthy offspring and good genes. Which is why in countries that weren’t colonised like China, Thailand, Japan, Korea etc you find the same answers again and again when asked which country has the most attractive women, Ukraine, Russia etc, so the exact same results you find in western countries

[@XTheJokeDealer]

@@AsAd-gd4hw almost like western cultures forced themselves and their beauty standards on the rest of the world

[@JP-hj1il]

😂someone said China wasn't colonized. Thailand wasn't colonized. Korea wasn't colonized.. Japan is not colonized. Who the f teaches these people now adays. Please if you can, go read and travel then leave a sensical comments backed by sources.

[@GraduateJLN]

@@JP-hj1ilWe live in America….🤦🏽‍♀️

[@MOB_TACO]

Him: "There are ways to make a difference relatively fast." Also him: "Grow a beard."😭

[@soymilkman]

Tbf minoxidil does actually work to thicken beards and regrow hair on the crown. I’ve used it myself as a trans guy and it’s been a massive help. The only thing is it takes like 6 to 12 months of consistent application to actually see a difference- so “relatively fast” is certainly relative lol

[@taiyabazaheer9492]

​@@soymilkmani used to use minoxidil for my hairfall when I was recently diagnosed with thyroid but all the hair it grew fell off when I stopped using it plus the smell was horrible and using it twice a day was too much work. I now just stick to eating a balanced diet and some hair vitamins if I remember to take them lol.

[@kktori]

I hate respectability politics and beauty standards but he was right grooming does make a big difference as far as how outwardly attractive you are.

[@SnookisInfant-gt8xu]

Like OP is ridiculous dude posts his tinder matches and a lot of guys don’t necessarily want to be overwhelmed with women, but definitely want to date and find a partner. Unfortunately women’s beauty standards for men are incredibly strict- his advice in this instance was spot on. We gotta stop lying to ourselves

[@Yogomotastic]

I hate him so much bc the stuff he says are so stupid. I use to be subscribed to him bc I was into men’s fashion but then I was recommended other videos and was like this man is so dumb lol

[@Gabster1990]

I know appearance matters but all these people wanting to look good but then when you interact with them in real life, they have the personality of a wet blanket.

[@rokhayas]

it's the soul that needs a surgery

[@abdiqanihashi484]

​@@rokhayasclock that

[@mindyourbusiness660]

@@rokhayas Beyonce is that you?!?!

[@burnt.norton]

now imagine how devastated they'll be when they start aging

[@adrianTurbogocrazy]

Looking good is relative, but being a genuinely good and interesting person will always make someone look more attractive, regardless of their outer appearance.

[@nelsonth]

I am tired of both these "looksmaxxing" and body positivity trends. I don't want to continuously hustle my way towards attractiveness, but I also don't want to continuously assert that I am beautiful. It's okay to be less than conventionally attractive, it's not a moral failing, just as being good looking is not a moral achievement. PLEASE, let me be more than how i look!!

[@sapphicmorena5791]

Say that shit girl! (Or dude! Let me know if I misgender you!) But holy fuck. Why does a woman's value hinge on being beautiful? There's so much more to us and I don't want to be comforted with "oh, don't worry, you're beautiful/cute/pretty," but with something like, "your looks don't dictate your value as a human being and you are pleasant and fun to be around." Since modern beauty is so intertwined with youth, we'll only be "beautiful" for so long... when I'm old, I want to be the most fun and the most kind to be around. Because I spent my life developing those traits instead of chasing desirability.

[@stormyweather9038]

Right. I value intelligence. I value kindness. . Looks are a bonus. But mean nothing. Someone can be gorgeous, and have a messed up personality and be super jealous / envious of others. Someone can be conventionally attractive and be mean, or on the dark triad. Should I excuse their behavior cause they’re good looking ? Absolutely not.

[@cali-ji5hd]

I am hopeful that there will be backlash to this. There always is backlash, it's cyclical. We all look like insta-baddies, and then suddenly we'll be happy just looking like our own damn selves in the near future. But where we are going on average as a human race in regards to what "matters" and what gives us all "worth" is hard to see honestly.

[@marsx5886]

@stormyweather9038 you shouldn't but others can and will. The halo effect is real

[@dani-888]

@@stormyweather9038 !!!

[@arielpearson4819]

The way that guy at the beginning implied being comfortable with your looks was a bad thing was soul-crushing.

[@xxxchocolatechipzxxx]

I imagine his self criticism is equally as toxic

[@siphomnisi3842]

Dunno. Some people practice poor hygiene and that could be a reason why they ain't getting attention

[@ErK61]

He’s alluding to those “presenting poorly” with potential to present well

[@actualgoblin]

​@@siphomnisi3842 bad looks =/ bad hygeine though?? No amount of personal grooming is going to make me less short and plain-faced.

[@l.l.l364]

Hes also every insecure and claims hes 6feet when hes short asf😂 this is why i dont listen to randos on the internet theyr all liars

[@Eddysig]

body neutrality ftw dude how about some "my body does not define my worth, my body is a vessel through which I experience the world, my appearance does not change my personality and what I have to offer to the world" affirmations

[@Anna-dd4rh]

I would tattoo “my body is a vessel through which I experience the world” on me in a heartbeat if I got tattoos. Love that!

[@Liiinda4]

I needed to be reminded of this, thank you.

[@APerson-qw8yy]

Im grateful that I retained this mindset throughout my life. Just existing and doing what I do

[@lonk2026]

this kind of thinking has given back some of the years trying to constantly be happy with my body took off of my life

[@drugstore999cowgrl]

!!!!!

[@isa-ob7zz]

no cause genuinely so happy you talked about this esp cause a lot of the times this is under the guise of being “self care”

[@dripfoe_3307]

Like how food addiction/poor diet is under the guise of "self love"?

[@Ophelia381]

Yeah a lot of it is just an industry designed to give you insecurities so they can sell you a fix. Most people don't really give a shit about your imperfections as long as you're not a dick, the people who do to that obsessive degree are usually just shallow and vain.

[@VelcroPoodle]

​@dripfoe_3307 "food addiction"??? Buddy that's just called being alive.

[@simpsonscar664]

@@dripfoe_3307 no more so having a very long job and having very little time to seek out and prepare food not to mention having to pay for that food when really the cheapest and quickest thing available is fast food, and then being told that you are fat and lazy for getting said fast food even though you work a lot harder than whatever podcast bro is saying that

[@dripfoe_3307]

@@VelcroPoodle What?

[@justhearmeout3959]

I love how they call it "self care Sunday" bit the purpose is to make you more pleasing to others. Ugh I don't think I worded that well, I can't figure out how else to put it 🥺

[@hudsuncampbell9943]

it should be called "doing things that don't nourish my soul, but make me fit in more Sunday"

[@eileengaleen2845]

No you’re right and you should say it!

[@xBINARYGODx]

I like to vegge on Sunday - I jog and do crunches and leg lifts (etc.) Mon-Sat, so I will have ZERO of that on Sundays, thank you very much.

[@kojohlomador3134]

Noo you got it good. I totally understood what you were trying to say!

[@ahmedomer9432]

That was actually great mate, well worded. Very succinctly put

[@VoltasP]

Everyone asks why I'm not on Instagram, it's because I could feel my self-esteem crash every time I peeked in, and no matter how much I tried to cater my algorithm to art and cute animals, I still had aspirational body content served to me every single time.

[@velvetunscripted]

me with tiktok

[@BoysLoveUnfiltered]

They trying to maje you more insecure💀

[@ladygodiva813]

Same.

[@annowtam]

Same. IG and Twitter were overwhelming me during pandemic lockdown a few years ago so I deleted them off my phone... and haven't posted since lol. Every 5 months or so I'll log in on desktop to see what people have been up to and I immediately remember why I deleted them in the first place. SO many ads for changing your looks and influencer after influencer who's had plastic surgery or who's hawking materialistic bullshit that literally no one needs. My mental health is so much better without that toxic bs being shoved in my face every single hour of the day. (I do miss all of my friends' silly everyday posts though rip)

[@GiggleHertz64]

Yep! Soul crushing

[@danteshollowedgrounds]

That was painful what that dude was saying.

[@sevenkpink2894]

Literally 🥴

[@dripfoe_3307]

How so?

[@debbie6526]

@@dripfoe_3307saying ppl are lazy/broke that’s why they are ugly comes from a very vain place. Looks will and shall fade one’s older so spending so much money on looks is really stupid and a bad investment. Looking presentable yes, but all the other stuff is unnecessary

[@crunchysalmons]

he is so afraid of being perceived it’s crazy. i don’t perform that hard for other people i prefer just to be comfortable in my own skin and to look like how i wanna look like.

[@JulianSteve]

I believed that he used to be a fitness influencer. Now, he went full on red-pill. Cringe 😬…

[@GreatGospel97]

You joke that “maybe we need to accept being ugly” but nah that’s the long and short of it. Be ok with not looking like the best photo you’ve taken of yourself-or the best photo you’ve seen of someone else. Remember you’re human and aren’t constant or perfect. Let it breathe, log off, find some peace.

[@storageheater]

I often think we only accept minorities on the condition that they be hot enough, and even the parts of the internet that fervently believes it's leftist is only ever doing this. In the 90s, a very dominant claim was that all gay guys were hot, in part because the only gay most people saw growing up would've been either some old long-dead outed heartthrob, or some Very Special Episode guest star. But as soon as they're old, they're gross predators. And "Body positivity" shifted very quickly to mean "hot fat people here." I always wonder why it so specifically never expanded to include disabled people. And I think part of it's because we can't easily make disabled bodies aspirational enough to exploit them. They might tell us too much about humanity and our warped expectations

[@atlas6864]

i have body dysmorphic disorder and this just pierced my soul. thank you ❤

[@MachFiveFalcon]

@@atlas6864 I do too, and I can at least accept my flaws as a single guy. When it comes to relationships - I don't know if I can.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

I don’t need to follow an aesthetic, I ✨AM ✨the aesthetic. Took me a looooooong time to get that in order.

[@HilariouslySatan8094]

“You ARE the visuals” - Beyoncé

[@PokhrajRoy.]

@@HilariouslySatan8094 Great minds think alike 😂

[@plaza3825]

Honestly more people need to understand this. If an aesthetic actually speaks to you, you should be allowed to stray from it. To make an aesthetic your entire online presence is puttering yourself at mercy to strangers to make decisions about your life that might not be right for you

[@fromlissawithlove]

PERIOD-Always ❤

[@adrianTurbogocrazy]

This right here!

[@plumpydayz]

If you want to look good, feel good and keep a youthful appearance, eat well, sleep well and stay active. That is literally it.

[@Ten.Thirty.One1031]

So simplistic yet relevant.

[@vanessaa7602]

Wear sunscreen every day.

[@MOB_TACO]

I never thought I'd hear Khadija singing BBL Drizzy😭😭

[@Fanrose2475]

If metro boomin said he hired them for the vocals I would BELIEVE

[@misashanoo4322]

How did we stoop so low to rate people out of ten based on their appearance, as if they were objects without a soul? Appearance is important, but what about morals, and being kind, even if just a little? How about rating these? cause who gives a F if you're a 10 when you have a a personality of a trash can

[@Yahmillavrussel]

Exactly!

[@yoursalwaysliyah]

for a while i could not go one video without seeing a comment that is rating a girl. at first i was confused because it was just something like “8” or “6.5” and nothing else but when i realized i was so disgusted

[@Yahmillavrussel]

@@yoursalwaysliyah or they would say "oh she's mid"

[@mem3sagacity353]

Because you can monetize looks lol

[@johi88]

Dating apps?

[@satellite991]

genuinely, getting off of social media (EVEN just a lil bit) is the answer. when you're so saturated in a purely visual medium, where looks are everything, of COURSE you're gonna get sucked in & obsess over your looks. social media is an echo chamber of beautiful ppl!!! it's not real life!!! you gotta take a closer look at the people around you living their Real World lives; your family members, your coworkers, the people around you on the bus. almost none of them look "perfect"; and yet they still have friends & family who love them, hobbies they're passionate about, favorite foods & musicians & movies. they're living great lives, and none of it hinges on the way they look. even without trendy clothes & beauty routines, your life WILL be worth living

[@rocktheroadtowembley]

AMEN!!!

[@dani-888]

!!

[@elle_327]

Love you for this 🥹😭❤️

[@nias67]

“There’s clothes at home” spoke straight to me and stomped all over my toes😳🤣🤣

[@udcide6090]

Social media has really destroyed most peoples’ confidence, mental, emotional, physical, and/or spiritual health. JUST BE YOURSELF!!! We literally live in a world where the majority of people would rather be anyone/anything other than themselves. If people don’t like you for who you are and how you look, they’re not for you.

[@ericaj4494]

Growing up as a black fat I got told from all sides that I need to fix my appearance. From my mom is was weight and clothing centered for people outside to home it was those as well plus extra. My mom seemed to be confused about my low self esteem because I was complemented on my skin complexion often and she made sure to tell me how beautiful I am growing up.... not realizing that constantly poking and proding me about how I needed to fix my weight cancelled out anything positive she was saying. It wasn't until I was like 26 that I realized she pushed her own self image and body issues on me for years. Because that's what my grandma had done to her. I was affected by my classmates until I stopped caring my junior year of highschool, depression kicked in really hard, and I came to a place where I no longer cared about pleasing those ass hats. If you're getting it from all sides you can't snap your fingers and no longer feel affected. It takes recognizing those around you are projecting their issues onto you. I'm still healing and learning how to love myself better and what that looks like at 29 but it's getting easier. I'm still fat but that doesn't mean I inherently have less value and I dress the way I want, no longer letting my moms words get to me and I feel good in my clothes.

[@aiaimonkey9085]

I can't imagine being this obsessed over the most mundane nonsese every single day of my life.

[@dani-888]

likeeee😭

[@sujammaz]

such a male privilege take. but oh wait: we have decided that incel-culture is mainstream now and misogyny is fun.

[@iamReptar]

So glad i grew up with my space. The only thing we were obsessed with is customizing our profile pages and finding the right song for it. Id hate to be 25 and under. Life went to shit after 2018.

[@kenyett7]

@@sujammaz ...NOW???? lmao, don't you mean always 💀💀

[@mikkelens]

@@sujammaz incels care a lot about looks, idk what you're talking about

[@isa-ob7zz]

the more i watch this video the more i’m reminded about how beach bunny’s song prom queen about her ed became a trend on tiktok for looksmaxing gym bros to post their before and after a once beach bunny says “shut up count your calories” and i genuinely think that’s so tucked up

[@danbeaulieu2130]

Ugh. The "celebrity influencer" Telling you that you are not beautiful enough. And getting paid to make you feel bad about yourself.

[@hollysmith7828]

Something else huge to consider is the time commitment. Prepping for an event is like prepping for a space mission: waxing - 2 hours, lashes & brows - 2 hours, nails - 2 hours haircut - 1 hour, hair colour - kiss goodbye to 6 hours in the chair. I honestly believe this adversely affects careers to some extent. No time for pet projects because you’ve “got to” look presentable. I know the pandemic had its shit moments but my god I had so much *time*

[@Napalmdog]

The masculine model really has moved towards the A.I. GigaChad ideal for a lot of men.

[@SquamataReptile]

It freaks me out honestly. I love the chubby, the skinny, the ones with flabby skin, stretch marks, short ones, whatever. I just like people and their unique traits but maybe it’s just because im an artist so I innately like the human form and hate the homogenization of the human form.

[@lonk2026]

@@SquamataReptile this!!!!!!!! people are just pretty, i wish we would stop trying to take the humanness out of our looks

[@redmaple1982]

What's funny about this is that the giggachad a straight man's idea of what an attractive man is...which is to say it's an image that is utterly disgusting to straight women. I think a key issue here is that the internet has given more of an influnce to straight men in defining aesthics and its been a disaster because they have no taste.

[@LastNameEver-FirstNameGreatest]

@@SquamataReptile I agree with this completely, also as an artist. True beauty cannot exist without some “imperfection” in the mix. And who’s to say it’s imperfect?

[@lndcruz721]

same about being more intentional about buying stuff. ive gotten into the habit of pausing any purchases for a few days just to see whether i really need to buy the new thing and the answer is usually no lol

[@439801RS]

I usually leave the website open, but often my cart gets cleared, and if I can't remember what was in there, I'm taking that to mean I don't need it lol

[@lndcruz721]

@@439801RS i do this too! i usually leave the tab open and usually i end up annoyed at having an extra tab open before i decide to finally figure out to buy it or not. 50/50 whether the cart is cleared or its still there depending on how long i took to decide to get it

[@Hellakiddie]

Lookmaxxing seems exhausting I’m weird maxxing I’m here to disturb and enlighten

[@easol]

I like you

[@lonk2026]

this is the only correct attitude

[@eloisebaker1125]

😂

[@MelanatedHomesteadher]

👏 👏 👏 yes

[@jugbrewer]

what i’d like to see is a concept of beauty that’s about highlighting the things you like about your looks, rather than trying to obliterate the things you don’t like. people will always care about beauty maintenance but it would be nice if it was additive rather than subtractive.

[@Sunday_Woodward]

I’m just glad I wasn’t on 4chan when I graduated HS back in 2006. I started obsessing over my looks back then, but I would have been in a much darker place if I were being influenced by online pressure. I feel bad for the youth of today.

[@soymilkman]

I always find it funny whenever Khadija (or any other fem youtuber for that matter) talks about harmful beauty standards there’s always people in the comments going “but you’re so pretty!!” Like yall really dont see the irony huh 😂

[@larissabrglum3856]

The eye tilt thing is weird to me because "puppy eyes" (the kind that droop at the outer corners) are often considered attractive. Paul McCartney was the cute Beatle because of his eyes. Attractiveness isn't one thing!

[@nehru.5429]

Yes! Puppy eyes are where it's at💯! The tilted eyes look predatory to me. Maybe aesthetically attractive on a model but not attractive as a potential partner. But I guess many of these guys are into that "alpha male" thing and that's what they're going for lol

[@michellehernandez2840]

Oh, is that what it's called? My friend told me she noticed I like guys with eyes that look like they are sliding off of their face😂. Something about those eyes look pleading or vulnerable. I never thought about them as "puppy eyes".

[@fivemargaritasonly]

I love puppy eyes too 😍 they look so sincere.

[@moeporridge7892]

Thank you, i have downturned eyes but everyone wants cat eyes. I started to not like my eyes. Thank you for reminding me with an example. ❤ This culture doesn’t appreciate what we have already.

[@XGoken]

Ehhh I disagree, the hunter eyes are pretty darn attractive

[@Nina-yf3ly]

My rent just went up by $400 a month. I figured the best way to cope was to put down a deposit for a new tattoo. Why? Because life is a game and I enjoy character customisation!

[@CambieSweets]

😂

[@Amber-rk6em]

This made me giggle

[@mariechristinascafe]

😂😂😂 this is not supposed to be this funny because 400$ is a lot

[@elly-coney13._]

I just love being black, I would never change myself to be any other race. but why do black people tell other black people to hate ourselves? we have enough people already telling us that, we don't need our own brothers or sisters to be doing the same thing, I wish we uplifted ourselves more.

[@_Ridethemaverick]

Unfortunately, that’s wishful thinking. The call is coming from inside the house. What do we think the saying “All skin folk ain’t kin folk” comes from?? It’s very literal and that includes our own family and friends a lot of times. We were betrayed by our own race first before we ever experienced any atrocities from others. Isn’t that the story of Cane and Abel, Enki and Enlil?

[@jinmushui1soul]

​@@_Ridethemaverickoh not the Bible! I think a better explanation is the concept of fictive kinship, which will also have us retroactively assigning betrayal between groups who did not identify as the same peoples and before the modern concepts of race or blackness emerged and solidified

[@satqur]

I like the way I look, and I think black people are beautiful. The problem, as I see it, is that the world at large disagrees with us and people default to what they've been taught. I wouldn't want to look like a white man, but I wouldn't mind being treated like one.

[@elly-coney13._]

@@satqur no,no, you have a point.

[@pisceanbeauty2503]

Internalized racism. If you are told by people in power everything about who you are is deficient and inferior, including how you look, you will soon begin to believe it.

[@Velociraptor449]

I hate college board with every fiber of my being because of the monopoly they have on testing and college prep, but it's really nice to see them working with Black creators to help Black youth access resources to find their perfect fit college.

[@ElizabethAdigun-zu9sc]

when I saw the title, I immediately got the reference from the color purple lol. I was outraged at every scene with mister and was happy she finally was set free from that toxic and weird relationship.

[@eoghanryder]

It’s such a dissonant experience to be entirely aware that there is a concerted global effort to make us all feel ugly and worthless unless we buy this product or get this procedure done AND YET…I still fall for it sometimes. 🙃

[@Ten.Thirty.One1031]

Yup.

[@mehkarma2772]

“These bbl is killin ya’ll~ and the thighs don’t match~” -Indeskribeaball

[@maloneaqua]

its the aggrandizing of these features as being evidence of good character that gets me. have we not seen attractive serial killers? pedos? f-boys? white collar criminals? why do people still believe that being attractive is a sign of anything about who you are behind closed doors

[@JulianSteve]

It’s really sad how influence culture has everyone on a chokehold. Insecurities are normal (sadly), but wasting money on every trend. Really? The whole thing does not make sense. Do what’s best for you! Both physically and mentally. Ignore the misinformation in real life and online! Thanks Khadija for your content! You got me thinking👏🏾!

[@MachFiveFalcon]

Trends are ridiculous because it's trying to get a bullseye on a moving target. I think basic things like healthier diets and more exercise (whatever is doable) is worth it and good for mental health vs. the obsessive looksmaxing stuff.

[@dmcginnis1000]

Into the 1st year of the pandemic I started learning how to sew my own clothes. My body shape is not hard to shop for but I had wanted to learn how to do it for quite awhile…I just needed the right motivation. It is not always a cheap option, but it has been so valuable in terms of promoting self-growth, reflection and could be helpful for those struggling in these strange beauty expectations.

[@nauticoom]

Maybe this will resonate with some people but when one can live a peaceful and happy life and they are learning and growing (working with and learning from the catalyst that life gives you), one will retain a youthful appearance throughout their lives. It’s the brightness in the eyes, the spirit that is soothing and comforting to be around.

[@samsprague3158]

Absolutely. It may not come across that clearly in a still image on a screen, but if you interact with folks like this in real life, you can tell. Even people who have suffered a lot in the past can carry that spark.

[@JayJayTravels]

No wonder so many people in our generation have body dysmorphia.

[@layna-heyhey]

oh yes being ugly is hard, especially being ugly while female. It is always in the back of my mind in my daily activities. yo idk how i got to Khadija's channel, but ha I love the style.

[@ianmcabee8036]

Just reacting to the very first tiktok at the start, 25 BMI with 10% body fat is super hard to achieve for most people. For most people to build that much lean mass will take years and years.

[@xevan_knight_official]

I'm so mf checked out from social media for the past 3 - 4 months and I have anxiety to go back cause either I'll see some sht that pisses me off or I'll see some other sht that's gonna remind me why I stay logged tf out cause I'm not missing much tbh

[@samsprague3158]

Why would you go back?

[@leicean]

Omg the Ryan gosling thing I’ve felt he looked a little different and I couldn’t put my finger on it

[@MrBaskins2010]

Quit social media over 5 years ago for my self esteem and mental health. It’s bodied my social life but artistically I’ve never felt more free

[@user-xo3nl8vo3s]

Love your work Khadija! Live in London but from the Middle East, And back home people always have something to say about my looks, but I don’t have this issue in London. I fit the standards in the western world, but even though I am Middle eastern, back home I am viewed as someone who needs to put in the extra effort into their looks. Beauty is never a biological truth but is always determined by place, history, and time. Truly every beauty standard is subjective and conditional, and don't allow any beauty insta capital hungry page sell you something that says otherwise lol

[@neon.anissa]

Rather than "make peace with being ugly," I find de-centering our own appearance as part of our worth helps us to redefine what is "beautiful" and what is "ugly." Once the original definition falls away, we are free to rediscover what is beautiful about ourselves and other humans.

[@MachFiveFalcon]

I have body dysmorphia and wish I could do that. I can value things about myself that are unrelated to my appearance when I'm alone with myself, but when I'm out in public, I'm back to having to constantly fight questioning my worth again lol. Maybe it's better that I'm single - because even after therapy and meds, my condition is resistant.

[@neon.anissa]

@@MachFiveFalcon Body dysmorphia is very challenging. I find it helpful to just stop thinking about appearance entirely. Spend a good amount of time not looking in mirrors, not looking at media that is triggering, purposefully exposing yourself where neutral bodies exist. Parks. Farmer's markets. Grocery stores. Don't spend time with people focused on physical appearance, including their own. Both positive and negative talk about appearance is not needed. Find other subjects to care about, and the body will matter less.

[@theresamatambo9196]

well unfortunately we're social beings and have to deal with other people's perception in the mean time

[@loverofhumanity]

I disagree. I think many people need to accept their average or ugly and just come to terms with it. Logically speaking 50 percent of us are going to be on the uglier side anyway. it's not a unique experience to be ugly and it's also not a moral failing. Its not a big deal. I think we live in weird times where we're way more insecure about even the idea whereas in the older days it was more acceptable to describe someone as unattractive for instance. I think the problem is that some people interpret being ugly as some sort of insult when in reality it's just mostly matter of fact. Anyway, I was born with a facial deformity which means I'm actually beyond ugly. To me ugly is like normal but your traits aren't the best. I'd say most of you guys complaining are usually just average but wish to be models. And I get it. Were always in a competition with someone. Nobody is happy. That's the real issue.

[@neon.anissa]

@theresamatambo9196 I'm talking for your own personal growth and emotional well being, not as a solution to attractiveness as social capital.

[@MachFiveFalcon]

I have body dysmorphia/OCD, and I want to get limb lengthening because I'm disgusted by my slightly short height. I really empathize with people who struggle with wanting to fix all their perceived flaws.

[@auroradreamcatcher]

I thought I was on a ad and reset the video 5 times trying to figure out why the video wasn't starting 😂😂😂😂

[@Parisroam]

GIRL 😂 the way I a,most cursed KZbin out for giving me a triple ad

[@tessbarber3194]

What you say about attraction being influenced by how others perceive your partners and in that yourself resonates a lot with me. I feel that my partner protects me from a lot of predjudice in my family by way of his thinness and how they view him and his attraction to me. His more conventional beauty allows me to be more beautiful in their eyes.

[@vklnew9824]

Poorly aged white ♀️

[@GhillieDhu22]

I recently deleted all my social media and just kept KZbin and Reddit literally because I noticed how much all of this was gets to you, never wanted plastic surgery other than some Botox getting older but I found myself wanting all types of procedures. It was a little bit of a shock when I realised how much of an impact it’s already made in real life just in shops and streets, it’s less noticeable when you have social media perpetuating it as normal. Khadija introduced the concept of body neutrality to me and although I know it’s not a cure it’s definitely helpful.

[@haute03]

Honestly, getting off all the social media apps aside from KZbin has been the best decision. It's really helped me prioritize and be grateful for my physical, emotional, and mental health because I'm not digesting content that's constantly telling me I should think about how I look in comparison to other people. It's also pushed me to stop centering myself and think more about those around me (e.g., doing volunteer work).

[@Nothoughtsjustvibez]

Idk it’s weird because I’m a poor stem with adhd, I hardly ever “put myself together” at least in the feminine kinda way… but It’s the easiest way to bypass superficial ppl for me. I still get attention from males. Yesterday this guy I work with said “hey playa, it’s always nice to see you” and I could tell he meant that shit 🥹 later on I was talking to a friend and he goes “I like you guys, y’all are genuine and real. Not like all these other ppl walking around here” and it just made me (a lesbian 😂) fucking melt 😩 when we first met he actually brought up the patriarchy, he didn’t say it but he alluded to it by asking me if men hated me because he could just tell “I got bitches” (his words) I didn’t want to get into it because he was right. It’s either a jealous hate or a why are you going against the norm hate. They tend to leave me alone these days because they can tell I’m not the one 😂 but for a real ass man to look past beauty standards and tell me I got game, in a way still calling me good looking even on my tomboy days… he basically restored my hope in humanity and read me like a book in the best way. “I get bitches” because I treat them like ppl, we all have flaws. I think physically and honestly even mental (excluding narcissists and assholes of course) flaws are beautiful. Not to sound like those “I don’t see color” kind of ppl 😂 but most of the time I WILL look past your looks if you got a ugly soul, that’s just how I feel 🤷🏻‍♀️☺️

[@Nothoughtsjustvibez]

I also like to add on about intimidation! I think society is starting to look past looks as intimidation, at least in my environment. Ppl call me intimidating allll the time and always about the way that I carry myself. Which is weird because I am HELLA insecure 😂 I guess I don’t necessarily show it idk, I also don’t show how truly introverted I am. People get genuinely shocked when I tell them I too am just as if not way more insecure and introverted then most but they act like they can’t believe that shit 😂

[@V_4_Versace]

Anyone else also feel like standards changed so much recently that it’s even more unattainable than ever?! Like I’ve always participated (whether knowingly or not) in all the beauty and fashion standards but it was always a very periphery background and honestly fun view of these standards. Like it was fun to go shopping with friends on the weekends or have a spa day and it never took up too much time or thought in my mind. But these days it feels like there is literally nothing else! Like even everyday work conversations are about beauty, fashion, weight, looks etc. that’s all that’s on dating apps and social media. Like it feels like there is literally nothing else to do or talk about and it’s exhausting and honestly not fun at all anymore. Especially because people are expected to have this encyclopedic knowledge of these things it truly feels like a job just knowing what to put on your face or who’s hot in fashion and if you don’t, why are you even bothering? You’re just some poser… I’d very much like to opt out the current standards and how much we know, talk about, and participate in them fr…

[@MikuHatsune159]

Definitely. This beauty standard marketing used to be more subtle but now it's in our faces in everything we consume. It's actually coming off as dystopian because of how hard they push it without realizing they contribute to the systemic problems we already have. So as long as someone who has some any amount of insecurity with their outward appearances gets fed this content non-stop, it's just hard to believe anything else. They're selling the old "you can be like them too" but you're more likely to believe it just because the people doing it are also closer in status, age, or whatever. Oh so relatable, when in reality, this is really disgusting for a regular person. 😢

[@kmc1994]

@@MikuHatsune159 yes!! Dystopian indeed. Also because of the environmental impacts these beauty standards have on our planet 😞. The degradation of our mental, physical and emotional cannot be understated. A dystopian world wants this level of self-disgust and external disgust in order to push chaos and destruction more thoroughly. Bleak take but this is what I thought of when I read your comment. Resist!

[@samsprague3158]

I get that that the whole culture of fashion and beauty standards that you and Khadijah are talking about is very mainstream, but there are other subcultures out there. Like, where I live, people care about and talk about dogs 10x more than they do about fashion. And even if you live in a big city, there has to be some communities based around more niche interests. So if you have any access to those communities or subcultures, maybe this is an opportunity to explore them a bit more and meet people who feel more the way you feel, or bring your friends into new stuff you can explore together. These social media and marketing forces do a really good job drowning us in their bs, so I’m not judging anyone for falling into it. But I think it can seem totally inescapable to some while others live pretty disconnected from it.

[@V_4_Versace]

@@samsprague3158 hmmm I like your perspective and I think that’s true about subcultures and things but sadly I think covid measures and social media killed off way too many of them. If you weren’t already in some subculture, they no longer exist or now people only want to join/start them for social media clout. I seriously can’t go to any irl event without seeing a tripod setup or someone shoving a phone in your face to “get some content.” Also, maybe I’m just used to city living in the past, but I recently moved after covid and I realized how much people just HATE seeing people just milling about aimlessly these days. Like I can’t even walk around my city without having somewhere to go without people assuming the worst (unhoused, thief, causing trouble, etc)… like literally just being outside hanging out these days will get you questioned and is dangerous and scary. And sadly those are like my favorite pastimes/subcultures (whatever you want to call them) but I like taking walks, window shopping, reading outside, in cafes, people watching etc. so it’s sad for me to see that people nowadays never even look up from their phone and everything they do go out for has to be purpose-filled and planned (usually for social media 😕)

[@othelliusmaximus]

Everyone who ain't watched The Color Purple feeling called out rn

[@clarapilier]

Great video. Abstaining from buying things I don't need has helped a lot.

[@wmgflute]

As a guy i'm getting stressed because of beauty standards. I am an active person, and would say my overall health is solid. However, no matter what or how much I eat, I don't gain weight. On one level, I feel blessed that I'm not going to get judged for being bigger, but on the other hand, I feel self-conscious about being skinny. Also, I hate the stigma around acne. I've done so much research, have a solid skincare routine, and I still have one or two red spots on my face. It sucks for young people to be shamed for something that is a natural part of being a young person. Anyways f beauty standards.

[@samsprague3158]

As a 31-year-old 5’11” dude who can still only hit 150 lbs with several weeks of very dedicated lifting and eating, here is my unsolicited wisdom: Fuck beauty standards. For you, and for the people you pursue. If I am healthy, I can be happy. If I am happy, I can be attractive. If I’m unhealthy or unhappy, being attractive doesn’t do any good anyway. It’s up to me to care about stuff besides how others see me. My passion draws people to me. But the world will never tell me what I should care about (and if it does it’s probably a grift). My choosing it is what makes it significant to others. Every human is unique, and yet, any two humans can relate to each other’s emotional experiences.

[@wmgflute]

@@samsprague3158 thank you for this message

[@MachFiveFalcon]

@@samsprague3158 I'm 5'9.5" and still want to get limb lengthening to be at least your height. I have severe body dysmorphia/OCD though. It was at its worst when I was dating - I might need to be alone for life. I can say "f beauty standards" when I'm alone at home at least.

[@JackH_123]

It’s so sad how much value we attach to our appearance. I remember when we used to try to break out of that kind of thinking.

[@georgiabevan2234]

I love to shop for makeup... Most of it only gets used like once a month when I actually go out somewhere and I will probably never be able to actually use all of it up. But it's always when I see people on KZbin trying new products that I end up buying more! Sometimes I think it's about trying to be more creative, and thinking - how can I achieve this look using something I already own? Or how can I make or alter something I already own? Resist the new and shiny!

[@AbisolaDamilola5007]

Have you ever read Jessica Delfino? She really goes into depth about beauty culture, its myths, and traps. Also advocates for a self esteem that isn’t tied to beauty culture. In a Substack called “the unpublishables.”

[@livvtheprettiest]

My mother has always said that “ social media is fake and for fun only” she ain’t never lied

[@sundawg911]

Being wealthy helps. I wish I got the money to get that glow up. hahaha.

[@Suzanne4415]

Yeah. The thing I've realized as a 41 year old in low income job, but with enough in savings that I could afford these "little procedures", is - that's not enough. You kinda have to be actually rich, or many of these things are actually a bad idea. Setting you up for future disappointment, or financial ruin, or serious complications. Like, a couple of my co-workers in their 20's have veneers. I have cosmetically awful teeth, I SO get it, but. They're not only very expensive (if legit!), once you do it there's no getting around redoing them every 5-10 years for the rest of your life. Better hope you never end up unemployed or on disability... With the fillers, at least if you stop being into it you can usually let them fade on their own, at worst need some painful dissolving. But... best case scenario is you love how you look with them, right? You finally feel beautiful now? Maybe most other people agree, you start getting more attention from people you're attracted to. Wouldn't it then feel terrible to look that way for 3-6 months, then watch your face steadily get less beautiful by the day, and then what, go "well it sure was fun to feel pretty one time for 3-6 months, maybe I'll have another round in a couple years"? At my age I could possibly be ok with it, but at 20 I would have been CRUSHED if I couldn't redo it. And 5, 10, or 35 years of fillers 2-3x/year adds up to somewhat life-altering money at our income level. (Not even getting into complication risks or how they migrate and build up.) In my case, I'm pretty sure if I'd done that in my 20's I would've ended up going for something more permanent like buccal fat removal and/or implants. Then we're talking very very serious risks of very serious complications - where financial ruin is just one possible side effect. Especially if you saved up for it and can't really afford the best revision/follow up surgeries if needed. Sorry idk why I unloaded this rant under your comment, but yeah I wish people were realistic about the actual long term costs here.

[@justhearmeout3959]

"I've had to be more intentional about the way I shop" Gurl. Me too. Not you taking a casual walk through my life 😥😅

[@bulagirl296]

You just put a bug in my ear with this one bc I genuinely LOVE the rush of finding a new cute outfit or skincare product and I never thought of why I feel like that !

[@Hopdog230]

Can’t ppl just be? Just exist as they are? Why do ppl have to change anything just to looks Max? Just love yourself and this is especially radical for Blk women. Especially dark skinned blk women. Radical self acceptance against all the messages, capitalism selling you the hatred of yourself.. how long are we going to keep this up? Women are allowed to love ourselves big, small, fat, skinny etc. Everyone is on their “journeys “ but you don’t have to hate yourself before you reach your goal.

[@idalarsen2540]

What a painful intro omg - You look GORGEOUS however, Khadija! As always

[@NerdAlertt_]

9:47 I’m actually very excited to hear ur thoughts on ppl with mess up teeth I have crooked teeth and have never had any complaints or comments on it until recently as I have been viewed more as “ in the beauty standards “ now as I dress up and more feminine

[@NerdAlertt_]

Beauty standards are crazy now ppl are scared of aging and are obsessed with glow up like I’m comfortable with self I don’t understand trying to change others to maintain a stander that’s going to change next year

[@SoggyPlants.]

"I'm nothing if not committed to a reference" 😂 Great video!

[@SpiritVines]

You’re so pretty with the glasses and lighting and blush and- you’re so pretty

[@smarties8554]

so happy to be here so fast 😻

[@cmg25]

Sales and marketing have gone molecular. People don’t even realize that most of their thoughts are not accidental. More insidiously, most people don’t consciously investigate how they prop up notions of beauty that are sold to us. Look at these celebrities poking and prodding themselves and then telling everyone else to be themselves. What a racket.

[@theprimalwisdom4929]

As a guy that enjoys this channel I have to say this is a spot on set of social observations. I primp and preen here and there but at lot of what works for me is just acceptance. I control what I can control. Got to the bag, stayed in shape and let shit like my height, race, and facial genetics look after themselves. I have no trouble attracting women and feel very little to no urge to crack open my wallet to paper over any insecurities or purchase my way to a better image. Looks will crack open the door with a woman but a lot of what keeps it open comes down to character, relational dynamics and what can't be immediately seen.

[@El_likes_to_stim]

Singing BBL Drizzy was the best 😂 Great video and I agree with not shopping at night. This could technically mean we can browse and pretend and imagine but do not press the pay button because too tired anyway 😅😴

[@aniyaruffin3288]

I was mad and surprised that I ain’t see more comments about you being quite pretty. The blacker you are the less beautiful they see you. I really find black features to be beautiful but it’s hard knowing we’re being conditioned to think the exact opposite.

[@pokelover02]

I have gotten so much crap my whole life for just being myself and not caring about my looks. I wish people would leave me alone. What really sucks though is the statistics that show conventionally attractive people being more successful in life. The entire world needs to get the memo that looks should not matter. Period.

[@yuliamary6308]

Guilty on spending but on art materials that'll end up on the closet for months, even years 😭. Then the cycle repeats. Honestly body neutrality helps a lot and really focusing on MY needs and wants, instead of being drag by fomo or that feeling of "if I do this maybe I'll feel this or this...". I mean easier said than done, but it is a constant consicious thought process.

[@JTTX84]

People need to understand that just because you see people on social media following trends, it doesn’t mean EVERYONE follows trends . The reality is that only a few people follow these trends.. most people live their life’s as normal.

[@PlutosTimeslot]

I loved this video, but I'm also SO happy you are talking about teeth next. I had to do research about teeth in HS and there is a HUGE link between teeth, dentistry costs, hiring processes, and poverty. It's no joke, it's CRAZY when you look into it.

[@jbak87]

What do you mean about teeth and poverty?

[@PlutosTimeslot]

@@jbak87 I don't remember the exact stats, but basically, certain environmental factors & genetic factors can play a role in your teeth & gum health. A lot of the environmental factors impact low income areas. Low income parents may also be working so much that they don't have time to make sure their kids are brushing their teeth. Having stained and/or damaged and/or not straight teeth has a MASSIVE impact on you getting hired or not. If you struggle to get hired, you aren't going to have or make as much money. Dental (at least in the US) is EXTREMELY expensive. Many job plans (again, if you can get hired) don't include dental plans. If you can't clean your teeth, get them repaired, or get braces (HOLY SHIT $$$$$) of some sort then you can't move up in the company (which is already hard enough with good teeth & gum health) or get hired somewhere else for better pay. Then let's say, you have a kid. You now have to deal with the cost of raising a kid AND they will most likely get the same genetics with teeth. You are now stuck in an endless cycle of bad teeth health (which can lead to heart disease, stroke, pneumonia, pregnancy complications, etc) and poverty with little to no way out. Not to mention, even if you can afford dental health (my family was able to get me braces) you can still become a victim of medical malpractice or get extreme dental anxiety (hello, it's me again) which (if you can afford it) leads to expensive therapy appointments and if you can't afford therapy, can lead to you never going to the dentist again (the cycle of poor dental health continues). not to mention even dentists & orthodontists have serious stigma around poor teeth & gum health. I recently went to a new dentist (terrifying) and it was like a spa day. Again, not to mention, those diseases and issues you can face from poor dental health? The bills from heart problems, pregnancy issues, staying in the hospital (I sweat just thinking about the bill lol) with pneumonia? Adds up FAST!!! But idk I guess teeth are just rich people bones... This was a great question, hope this helped! There are many reports, studies, and personal accounts you can find online about the issue if you'd like to learn more! :) Keep in mind that my examples are very USA-centric, but you can probably find international resources & studies from other countries on the issue as well! & of course, there are MANY more factors at play like insurance, your family history of mental health, the year/decade you seek dental help, etc.

[@CambieSweets]

@@jbak87Having the means to see a dentist is a privilege. Having money to cover a dental emergency, even with insurance, is a privilege. Growing up, it was a rite of passage for teenagers to get braces for perfect teeth (Orthodontic work is usually out of pocket costs). Having access to whole foods that aren’t over processed and lead to needing to see a dentist in the first place is a privilege. Pretty privilege exists, so getting a promotion at work, or hired all together may be a huge hurdle when you’re being judged on your looks. Many places hire people who “look” the part. Western culture is obsessed with teeth because it signals health, beauty, and class to us.

[@LifeOfKells]

I’m crying at how I started singing BBL drizzy after you said bbl, then you started singing too🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@BalancedBunny222]

I'm poor white and ugly. And tired lol all this obsession with looks had me planning surgeries and exhausting myself with beauty routines, just so I could look half as good as the people he saw online. Even though he himself was quite unkempt and half bald by 27. I loved his bald spot though 😭 😍 so warm and cozy and unique to him, I pray he felt the same about my flaws. Now that he's passed away I just refuse to ever go through a relationship again, I don't want to worry about how I look out of fear of losing my man's interest.

[@Applepie024]

honestly the 'always look presentable' thing is beating my ass😭 especially as a black woman in professional spaces, it's hard determining where (unfortunately) having to play into respectability politics stops and the influence of capitalism/consumerism starts

[@robertturner9665]

Also, dont shop when you're high 🤣🤣🤣

[@ramirez02727]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Ignore the critics and the naysayers and focus on you!

[@CCela1608]

Can't explain how it pleases me that Khadija doesn't know Matt Rife's name 🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@rolandnerdtherioes]

Unfortunately I'm too poor most of the time to spend money on shit I don't need however, what helps me is I leave things in my cart (on Amazon usually) for a while and then a couple days pass and if i still think it's nessisary I get it. Or if I still think it will bring me joy for what it's worth I will get it. But just resisting the instant gratification has helped me save money, be more responsible, and make better decisions with my limited money

[@kharikhy-ree2242]

Bills, rent, mortgage, will make you all forget about beauty standards. Take a shower, moisturize, and stay off social media. You'll feel better about yourselves.

[@Mi-gs7xg]

your confidence is radiating, and your beauty is astonishing!

[@GreatGospel97]

You joke that “maybe we need to accept being ugly” but nah that’s the long and short of it. Be ok with not looking like the best photo you’ve taken of yourself-or the best photo you’ve seen of someone else. Remember you’re human and aren’t constant or perfect. Let it breathe, log off, find some peace-and yes that feels reductive but sometimes reductive takes pinpoint the crux of the issue.

[@OrbyStormy420]

When you spoke of gratitude, right at 15:35 the sweet kitty appears 🥰✨💌

[@miaomiaou_]

Health is wealth :) A fit, healthy body will always be attractive 😊

[@julian3880]

Excited for the teeth video!! My teeth have always been my biggest insecurity but it just costs too much. Would love to see how you connect everything together

[@jbak87]

As long as you have teeth and your gums are healthy, that's enough. Oh! Learned to care for and use your teeth properly.

[@hurphenelondwil2419]

"I think money is fake" so real. Because it issssssss.

[@aishac919]

Oooh seeing you on the floor with the mic makes me nostalgic when your intro used to be “millennial auntie sitting on the floor…” Anyhoo congrats on the sponsorship (definitely worthwhile and aligning w your brand!).

[@ravioli1381]

Self care for me (not to do the “not like other x”, hear me out lmao) and what I assumed for most others is the absence or at least pursuing the absence of unfair standards and hyper stimulation from late stage capitalism. Even if I go to shop for something like groceries or smth I needed but didn’t have time to get during the week, it’s very much under control and my goal for the “self care” day is ACTUAL rest. Chill bath, reading, painting, time with friends and loved ones, walking my dogs, hell just sleeping or lounging listening to music. All this looksmaxxing bs and “self care” is just another unnecessary burden of labor forced on us. It’s not actually self care. I’m sure Khadijah is very aware of the theory of social reproduction, as many of the authors/thinkers they mention in several videos were integral to pioneering this idea especially in relation to women/femmes of color and/or queer people. It’s so scary to see this continue to evolve in the same way capitalism does.

[@samsprague3158]

You don’t sound like a “not like other X”. You sound normal, I think most people would agree with you about self care.

[@melissawatkins7332]

Thank you so much for the Color Purple reference.