The Myth of the "Intimidating Woman" (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

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“Guys always freak out after a few dates with me. My friends say it’s because I’m intimidating…”
“Men just want a submissive girlfriend. They feel threatened by a woman who is too independent and successful…”
I’ve heard these common lines a thousand times before.
And I am sooooo bored of it.
Yes, it might make some insecure guys run a mile, but not nearly as often as people think.
Here are the 3 real reasons he’s pulling away...
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[@emoreland]

Spot on!!! People will forget what you said People will forget what you did But people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou

[@surfingtangents2229]

#Wisdom

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

Most of them couldn't care less about how they made me feel. They don't seem to think it matters.

[@ms.evegene]

Maya Angelo was a smart and beautiful woman

[@cynthia5102]

I think you were spot on with one thing you said . "They cannot impress you ". Maybe intimidation isn't the correct word . But most of the time, highly successful and independent women are tough to impress. And that's where men fall short and decide to walk away. In those cases , men feel that it takes too much effort to impress a woman who can provide for herself at all levels. Silly way of thinking but sadly it's true .

[@cynthia5102]

Don't Use This you're right about that. We're so afraid of being portrayed as weak. But men don't need words , they can observe . An independent woman is someone that can be spotted very easily . And that's scared men alot of times. No need to say a word , it's obvious when you are self sustaining . As Matthew said , do your thing and enjoy your own life without thinking of whose watching you . But that scared men alot of times as well.

[@anjagoller]

I don't know if I am really an intimidating woman, but I don't think I'm hard to impress. I'm mostly impressed when a man seems to like me despite my intelligence and my skills. I'm impressed when a man appears to enjoy my presence and tries to make me laugh (ok, that requires a similar humor). You don't have to do something extra special and have special skills. Just make me feel you're really interested in me as I am.

[@cynthia5102]

anjagoller I wish I met a guy who felt impressed by my independence, work ethics and skills . But men have a primitive way of thinking most times , they thinking they need superficial and materialistic things to impress a woman. A diamond ring means nothing to me if a guy has no integrity and character. But for some reason they think that we all expect that diamond ring that is totally worthless in the end . Men don't understand that it's the simple things that we appreciate. The effort , the time ....those walks filled with fun conversations .

[@anjagoller]

I honestly don't have any ideas how to do that. It seems like I found one or he found me, don't know how to put it and I don't know for sure. It was him who started with intense eye contact. Without I never would have started to have feelings for him. And for now I don't know what was the reason, he knew mostly nothing about me, except for one interest in common. The first time he tried to turn my head I refused because I was interested in another guy. But he tried again this year (we didn't meet in the meanwhile). I don't know if the whole thing will result in a relationship, but every time we met he tried to make me laugh. I like him because he is so gentle to everyone, he smiles a lot and he doesn't seem to be that intimidated by me to quit the whole thing. There was never a moment where I thought I have to impress him. I just try to show him, that I like him as he is. He also doesn't seem to be intimidated by my age. I'm older than he is and I'm sure he knows that. He just doesn't know old I'm exactly. I don't know what was the difference. Perhaps I just finally met the guy who matches me (at least I hope so). Perhaps you just met guys who don't match, up to now.

[@cynthia5102]

anjagoller I'm happy for you. All I've had are fails and misses . Maybe one day someone will come along and will notice the things of true value ; honesty , simplicity and those smiles that can capture you . For the meantime , just waiting and watching Matthew's videos . 😊

[@constancegoldwing5867]

I had a lot going on when I met my first boyfriend and yes, he was blown away and wanted to be with me. What I didn't know was that he was a drug addict and was so insecure about himself, full of lies and was intimidated by my successes and happiness. He ended up putting me down throughout the relationship to bring me down to his level. Example, "You're walking too fast, you need to learn how to walk slower to keep next to me in public". He used to say things like this all the time. I won a place in the top 20 for MIss Universe for our state and he said: "You're not really that pretty, I just want you to know that there are far more beautiful girls so don't get your hopes up". SO reflection- only a REAL man will see that he needs to step things up if he feels you are intimidating, in fact like Matt said- someone who is secure will not be intimidated.

[@CreamIceMs]

Constance Goldwing omg! What a dick! I'm so sorry you had to go through that! It must have sucked big time! Luckily you learned from that experience.

[@ymfg2673]

Constance Goldwing actually there are a lot of kinda useless shitty guys out there who will not want to see a woman becoming more successful than them. Just identify these types and move on.

[@gratitude5740]

Constance Goldwing My husband wasn’t a drug addict but behaved like your guy . He told me that he had married me because I wasn’t good looking so other men would not take a note of me . He hated when I did my drivers license, went back to school , was liked by people , received gifts from others ....the list is long . I couldn’t take it anymore! He abandoned out cat, turtle , flushed out child’s fish down the toilet, abandoned our dog ...... seemed like I was next so I asked him to leave . Karma !!!

[@MsHaileyD]

I totally agree. I've been guilty of talking too much about myself for the very reason you stated. It wasn't till I finished acting school and learned how to be a better active listener that I really understood how much people don't feel heard. I started getting comments from friends and acquaintances like "I feel like you really care about me and what I'm going through." And it made me so happy to make them happy.

[@Sansiara]

I don't know about this. I'm a girl and I also get intimidated by handsome succesful men. Once i met one, i just wanted to go away because I felt like I would never be good enough for him and he would leave me for a more successful and beautfiul woman. Intimidation is not an alien feeling, is very real and both genders experience it

[@raisakmal3894]

if the guy sincerely loves u. he is the one that will raise u up. give u everything, make u his queen. just be a woman with good attitude. be honest, be sincere. stay with him no matter in best or worst moment. thats all we need from women for stable relationship. thats why previous generation relationship last long

[@raisakmal3894]

but be careful with "successful" guy. there's different between sincere guy looking for stable relationship & "successful" guy that use his advantage just to enjoy fun without commitment & then chase other women. these guys know women attracted to status & luxury as men attracted to women's appearance

[@raisakmal3894]

SINCERITY. think about it. i think this is the main problem in our generation society

[@zeinalbasam4733]

Hard work is worthless for those that don’t believe in themselves.”

[@puluzo]

Don't be like that i hate that shit.

[@cm756]

She's too intimidating = I'm not secure enough to handle being with someone who has their shit together better than me. 😂

[@Fabelmakers]

Ti MiR0 Amen 👍🏼

[@swiitdoll]

La la la being single is great. Ever wondered why single women look younger? Because we don't put up with shit from men. Men age women.

[@kassie5779]

befitting name, forever young, lol

[@AldoAL]

La la la haha that comeback though 👍, i wonder if she (forever young) ever had a boyfriend in her life for making that stupid comment 😄

[@sueblack5794]

Look at it this and it makes more sense, you aren't on the same page and don't have the similar goals. Example, hell to the no would I date a turned up adventure guy training for marathons & a health nut. Not my style, not my type of guy. It may appear I would be intimidated by him but reality is they actually turn me off. Women are lying to themselves when they believe they are "intimidating" the truth is he really isn't into you and prefers another type of woman. Not all men exist to solely like you. No one is that impressive and awesome.

[@TheDoodLbot]

There's something about being called 'intimidating' that bothers me. I wouldn't call someone who has accomplished a lot as intimidating, I would just be impressed. It would be intimidating if someone brought out a weapon started taunting me with. That's intimidating. But why is that likened to someone who's successful or strong-willed or forward or (possibly) someone who's not the other's type?

[@colevandais]

True, exactly! Some people feel threatened by someone's powerful energy

[@panama2468]

There's difference between strong willed and intimidation. You can be a strong person without coming off as arrogant or annoying.

[@Pancake138]

Literally been marathoning your videos all day and I need to stop, it's 3:30am but you're so good looking and give such good advice...

[@AldoAL]

Megan Small you’re intimidating 😄

[@ariadne1683]

I get this point, I truly do! You say that we need to let him have his moment of joy and him feeling proud of himself and that is totally ok if it is just an example and not like this all the time. But to be honest...what do I get from being with a man who always needs me to make him feel good all the time? I want a man who says "well, if you traveled through south america, then you have to show me those places and after we did that I will show you some amazing place where you have never been before." That´s a personal gain for each other, that´s what I like about being with someone, that is equality and that is why I will be single forever ... lol :D

[@tracieyudichak2315]

Hi Matthew! I am so glad you brought up this subject. I have been told I am an intimidating woman. I fit the qualities (aka excuses: great career, friends, beautiful, etc) that have landed me with the title of "Intimidating Woman" and I have been perplexed by this for years. Maybe in general, the intimidating woman is a myth. However, it is real in my case. I have been watching your channel since December because I went through a break up and I was searching for clarity/understanding about this confusing dating world. Thankfully, I have found that here and now I finally feel like I have something of value to give back. Here is another reason why women like me get called intimidating and it goes deeper than the surface reasons you gave: boring, no space/time, not impressed by. Actually, these may be indicators that point to the deeper cause. I look good on paper, I have a beautiful appearance, I am a lot of fun to be around, and I can create attraction without even trying. Buuuuuutttttt when you put me in the dating world or a committed relationship, that is where the intimidation happens. And it is not anything that you can tangibly place your finger on. It is only understood through experiencing me, then finding out something is not quite right. I had typical childhood traumas (divorced home, chaotic family dynamics, a dead parent, daddy issues, strict religious, upbringing, daily sibling beatings, etc) and I succeeded in my adulthood, despite my unfortunate beginnings. The problem was that I was not exposed much to romantic loving relationships, thus I did not develop that side of me. I knew what they were because there were examples of them at a distance in my life and any exposure of intimacy was through the TV screen. My idea of romance was very skewed and it showed through my behaviors. Okay, now to boil down to the point that the "intimidating woman" is not a myth. Well, maybe not the woman, herself, is actually intimidating, but being in a relationship with a woman like me is where the intimidation lies. Guys don't want to invest in me because they can feel, to the point that they know, it is too scary to continue. I have displayed many of the mistakes you have talked about in your videos and I have tried to suppress the sides of me that are unattractive. Sometimes I have a wrath that is scarier than Medusa and nobody wants their lover to turn into that. Then on top of that, they don't know what to say or do to turn me back into the woman they fell in love with. Honestly, I sympathize with them, yet I am the one they don't want anymore. I have a lot going for me and I have a lot going against me, which ends up being overwhelming and too much to handle. Reverse the roles and I know I would not want to date the "intimidating man". Now, before this starts sounding too sad or that I appear to be beating myself up: I am not. I have done a lot of self reflecting, questioning, and improvement. I am at a point where I can look at myself and see the flaws and not resort to self-destructive behaviors. Matt, I give you this perspective because I believe it helps humanity in the dating world. And I believe this is why some girls get casted with the title of "Intimidating Woman" and it is certainly not a myth. The guys who say the woman that they are dating is intimidating, may be using that as an excuse or maybe their intuition is actually spot on. When you can't see or put your finger on what doesn't feel quite right, even though everything else appears to be perfect, then it's probably because the Intimidating Woman hasn't fully developed yet and the guy is not well equipped to be her man. Thank you Matt, Jameson, and everyone else that is apart of the get the guy experience. There is so much I have gained by watching. I hope there is so much more that I can give back.

[@tracieyudichak2315]

Also, I have learned to appreciate the intimidation factor I can give because I have been very capable of attracting guys who are all sorts of wrong and being intimidating has kept me safe by scaring them off, thus preventing unwanted circumstances

[@dwnbh]

it's all about the connection. it's a simple word yet we often forget to accomplish this. thank you!

[@dwnbh]

yes! totally agree, and i guess it's all about balancing too.

[@sageoftruth]

Yeah, gender roles can still be a barrier for both men and women when it comes to dating. The best one can do is ensure that the man understands why he belongs in this relationship. That may require some reflection. After all, why do you want the man you're dating in your life? If he's not satisfied with that role, then it may be time to look for someone new, for both of your sakes.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

As short at this was this video really resonated with me. A man will see you again because of how you make him feel not what you have accomplished. Sometimes I worry I have not accomplished enough career wise in life to attract a good man, I hope it works both ways by a man wanting to see you again because of how you make him feel not what you have accomplished or not necessarily accomplished yet. Thanks for another inspiring video 😊

[@pdr3218]

As an individual, who gets told to my face that you are too "strong, and your presence is too intimidating". This is what I have to say: A secure, mature, and content man is not intimidated by a strong woman, he just recognizes that she knows how to hold herself. A woman with substance does not feel insecure by a towering man. Instead, she feels safe with him. When such issues surface, it only means that, that alliance is of a 'boy-girl', not a 'man-woman'. It all boils down to experience, culture, upbringing and a place of self-realization. As human beings, it's so easy to blame others for our misfortune and insecurities, only to shy away from our short-comings.

[@WorldsoulsWorld]

Very well said.

[@pdr3218]

aQmohra Your description is of an un-schooled boy. However, I thank you for your contribution.

[@iliketofuckwomen1265]

P D R nope not at all . Women are hilarious . Just because women like tall men doesnt mean men should like tall women . Men and women have differents standards . Men will rather date a slightly hotter broke starbucks employee over a slightly less attractive successful woman who makes 6 figures .

[@Adam-cc9ny]

Be honest with yourself. Would you date and give a chance to a guy that is beneath you, lets say he is less educated and earns less money than you? Even though he is honest with you and has enthusiasm and devotion for you? The great majority of women would first all laugh at such a guy and then give a icy NO! as a response. Since you are a strong woman tell men honestly what do you expect from us? If a man is willing to live up to your standards what would they be? Maybe women like you would be a whole lot less intimidating if men knew what you truly think and what you expect from men. That way if we know what you expect we can better ourselves and approach you with more to offer and feel more confident that we can build on that so you can give men a chance.

[@themacocko6311]

P D R How dare someone disagree with you!😲

[@lifelatelywithizai]

Exactly! This is the most fundamental truth in dating. In order to know if the person you are dating is for you, you have to focus on how he is making you feel. At the same you also have to focus on how you are making him feel. Something I've learned from you Matthew 😊

[@eg2783]

Thank you for decoding the word "intimidating"! I have been called "intimidating" by a guy earlier which he refused to explain why and I never knew where he was getting at. Now I do!

[@Spirit_MindRebirth]

It is very true Matthew, as it is said and was.. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou Amen and I teach the same things, because feelings will always be felt for a lifetime and lasting memories will, always just be memories😘.. Great video once again!

[@Visualmetal]

It's very true. However I am tired of making men feel special. Every guy I have dated is always jealous of me..why..I am a poor art student who enjoys studying, yes I have been a lot of places, I love art and I am passionate. But why the fuck be jealous of that. You choose your life. And after dating me, we break up they start studying and changing their life...there isn't any guy who has the ball's to make me feel special. I can make myself feel special yes,and I am happy. But seriously I have given up on dating and finding serous relationship. I don't have the strength to always make someone feel special...I can also break..

[@sarap9431]

Lysets vokter but you have to admit it's kind of cool that your passion inspires people to want to find theirs. Sounds like what you need is someone who's already found their passion as well :)

[@kulturvereingruenstadt]

Thank you! I feel the same very often! Ok I can sit tight and make them feel special - but when I do this, they just "forget" to do the same for me - I am so tired of this, as you said! One time I had a boyfriend who even said, it won´t be good for me to compliment me!! As to many compliments would spoil me!!! I studied many of Matthews videos and clearly found some mistakes I made - but now I stopped - but what do the guys do to be a good chatting partner? To be a good partner at all?

[@katrina8754]

I had quite the same experience. I am creative and always optimistic person. Guys, who I dated, said that I am immensely inspiring and so on. Several times I "woke up" after a messy relationship, when he mostly relied on me and my ideas, and my initiative. But I am not blaming anyone, it takes two to tango :) Now I am smarter and not settling for a relationship, if the energy doesn't flow both ways.

[@bostenlemaire6895]

Girls, your guy doesn't have to be your everything. Find some great friends and just keep him for sex, stupid banter and cuddles. Then go back to both living your lives.

[@tracyDoo]

Marie-Luise Dingler Haha, I had also a boyfriend like this!! But men like that are very insecure!! That's what I've found out afterwards! That's not normal behaviour. A good choice of men is rare.

[@Lil-Be]

100 % agree !!! I have a lot of fun things going on in my life like travels, interesting courses/lectures, hobbies, great friends etc. though still remain humble, and let other people shine. In some cases, it is very hard to keep the balance though ... I noticed that with some people (particularly man in LA ... ;), when they start to feel too comfortable and like a super star, they just can't stop talking about their life, achievements and it becomes boring, frustrating and overwhelming to me. It doesn't intimidate me as I am very content with my life, but would be nice to feel special and admired too instead of giving all the "greatness credits" to the other person. Fortunately, I don't have this problem too often as I am getting more and more selective about people I spend my time with.

[@faradiana6140]

I think guys nowadays need to work harder to polish up on their leadership. That's what attract strong women and at the same time help themselves not to feel intimidated.

[@gabeguzman]

Women are intimidated by me so how is that not ok?

[@AmericanMGTOW]

@@gabeguzman Don't even bother engaging with the cunts, look up MGTOW and enjoy.

[@j.inkstv]

Men work hard on a daily basis just to survive just like women do. No sane man wants a woman that they have to constantly fight to be with when life is already hard fight. Be my peace or be nothing to me at all

[@tromboner6061]

When the social engineering, feminism era is all about forcefully making women come at same level as men,when authorities celebrate men's under representation in colleges and other areas,How do you expect in the same breathe the man to be better off than you?

[@bel.cascabel]

I could do this but, what if he doesn't make ME feel great around him?

[@MsSmilewithyoureyes]

then don't waste your time and move on; the right guy will make you feel great :)

[@theproofistrivial7677]

Then don’t see him.

[@gratzia]

you're missing the point of Matts videos. Everything is down to the woman and the womans fault. You obviously need to read his book or go to his expensive seminar to find out what YOU'RE doing wrong and what effort YOU need to put in to snag that man that doesn't want to be caught. :P

[@Majikn]

grachious I can't tell if you're just kidding and I don't know if you know his videos very well but I never got that vibe from him. Has he ever said that it's always the woman's fault?

[@jjuniper274]

Isabel Álvarez M I think if we both give 55% on the date, it can work, but if he's not....cut him loose. Move on baby! ;)

[@NooraaQ]

I find that making him feel special causes him to be cocky and not put in the effort of reciprocating the love back.

[@SR77736]

nxrxxx exactly.

[@adamdownes4725]

That totally depends on the guy. I had a girlfriend who made me feel very special, not by doing anything amazing I guess she just saw me as a leader. And that space allowed me to be EXTRA masculine around her, it was awesome. She got to be totally feminine and express all her emotions, and I got to be her rock.

[@adamdownes4725]

But I agree some guys are too self-centred so they'll be TAKERS and won't be givers, they're pretty easy to spot though.

[@j.inkstv]

Oh man, you should try dating women. I didn't start having success with women until I made the conscious decision to not be so nice to them. Some really weird psychological shit.

[@kintifada]

Hi Matthew, thanks for this :) I've been labeled 'intimidating' in the past, and it was so disheartening.. Like there were no men who were up to the task (rhymes with: 'you'll be single forever'). But I've come to see that I was too eager to roll out all the amazing things about me when I met someone I was really interested in - and you're right.. That doesn't leave much space for him to impress me. Dating has been a lot more enjoyable - and easier on my heart - since I shifted my focus from trying to win a guy over -(not to mention the added bonus of not feeling like I played my entire highlight reel for a guy and it wasn't enough, ugh). The idea that how you make someone feel is what stays with them isn't only right - it's revolutionary. So I've kept that in the back of my mind and tried to make a date with me the coziest place on Earth, where a guy feels welcome to share.. Which gives me a better perspective on whether or not he's someone I'd want pursuing me at all. Have been following your videos for about two years, and I'm only getting closer to the right guy because of it. Copenhagen isn't the easiest place for a single girl, but your insights really do make me feel like I'll be alright, and a better girlfriend - and wife ;) - once he shows up. Tak ❤️

[@ceciliaiwilliams6832]

Matt this was a good one you were spot on in laying down some of the reasons why men say they are intimidated. Definitely food for thought for us ladies!!

[@kristinlee9485]

I agree. A guy doesn't ghost on a woman because she's too "intimidating", that wouldn't stop him if he was really interested. If a guy doesn't want a second date it's because he wasn't that into her. I think women tell themselves they are too intimidating to avoid accepting the fact that they were rejected

[@mannelshah]

yes but if a guy i allready in a relashioship with you and he tries his best to bring you down constantly THAT's because he's insecure and he's affraid of losing you because he knows he can't handle how good you are, THAT's intimidated, and you should lose his ass and be with someone that is secure enough to make you happy.

[@Sombra_Azul_]

THERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!! .....FUCKIN'ELL THAT TOOK FOREVER.

[@1RPJacob]

this

[@inspirational5462]

@@mannelshah same with with the other gender

[@brianacrawford9273]

People who live abundantly in their truth can authentically connect with others without feeling the need to compete with others. I'm still working on this. I agree with Matt that a secure person doesn't have to oversell themselves. It can be tough though because everyone wants to seem so interesting that we forget to be interested.

[@RedTango]

As a woman I'm going to say something here that will probably be unpopular but here goes: I think there IS some truth in guys needing to feel "useful" and bringing something unique to the table, such as providing, leadership, etc. It's in their DNA. This is how men are built. And when I think when (SOME OF) them sit down to meet us, they feel stripped of that unique position. They find themselves sitting across from what essentially feels like another guy. A competitive, talk about yourself successful woman. Who sounds like a guy. Who makes him feel he is talking to and relating to a guy. A man's penis doesn't respond to this. Straight men don't want to date men...they want to date women and they like femininity. But what is traditional femininity about? Being the support system, elevating the man, being the satellite that orbits his planet. Clearly, that sort of woman is getting to be scarcer and scarcer as women are crafting their own lives, completely financially independent really for the first time in history. These are historic times..women essentially do not need men for survival, which used to be crucial. This sort of independence is EXTREMELY powerful. So, that leaves men to flounder around wondering how they are going to fulfill their desire to be the breadwinner, the provider, the dead of the household. I said I felt my comments would not be popular because I am suggesting that these are not "learned sexist traits" but actually very real, biological, hardwired traits that TEND to run thru out the masculine model. I believe this to be true. Now, the one thing people will probably AGREE with me on is that men now are in a position where they are going to have to completely rework how they relate to women. There is ALOT of finger pointing and rage when it comes to "feminists"..which to me are simply women who want equal opportunity...but to the many angry, bitter "MGTOW" men who passionately hate women for "destroying the American family"..these are the men who are going to have to learn to bend, flex and be bold enough to redefine their roles. Women have done it, women have endured centuries of subjugation, limits, laws to keep them invisible and virtually no rights. If women can flex and work and change and evolve, then men can take on that task as well. My last though on this is that to help men make this change, women COULD soften a bit, as Mathew mentioned. There is nothing wrong with making a man feel needed, confident and useful. This should not be demonized as "stroking the pathetic male ego." Like women don't have egos? Spare me. There is no more vicious and miserable a person on the planet than a woman whose ego has been damaged. Be a little more gentle with men, let them speak, let them have their space to talk and share. Graciously let them hold open doors or help you carry things. These are all WONDERFUL things that are not indicators that you are weak or incapable. They are signs of respect. RELISH IT. Let men be men. If you are truly that confident, well established woman you think you are, you can handle making a man feel valued, secure, loved and useful.

[@gaminggen5807]

Agreed. But I guess, one should always remember that there’s a fine line of difference between stroking the male/female ego vs really doing a thing out of love or appreciation

[@Krwler]

RedTango you made a great balanced comment. One of the fairest I’ve ever read on the topic but I feel it is a little naive. You speak of these times as if they’re an event horizon and there is no going back but history shows this is never the case . All civilisations have one thing in common: they have all failed, and there is nothing to say western civilisation will not. If it does, and we have to fend for ourselves (as we have for the vast majority of our existence) then women will be overly dependent on men once again.

[@Koozomec]

Hum. You sounds pretty condescending and it's a real turn off. It's worsen by the fact you seems pretty smart and you know what you are doing. I have a more simple way to solve the independant women dilema. Men who crave to CARE will chose lower class women and will CARE for those women instead of the strong independant women. If you want to increase your chances to find love, chose your own story instead giving your time to an heartless company. You want to be admire ? Be the best mother, the best slut, the best cook, all of that, that's a real challenge. It's ok to not be into that but there is plenty of women in the world and men can travel too. It happens today, will ever happend and will happend again. Nature is cruel. Adapt or leave no legacy. Regards,

[@julietten5614]

Koozomec Woman from lower class in most cases are even more strong and independent than ppl of the same age group from upper class.

[@Koozomec]

@@julietten5614 that's not my point. The social class of a woman have no value for me. Low social class ppl sometimes know the value of life and work a little more compared to more wealthy but there is no rules to that. Usually ppl who struggle in life are more intresting than rich kids. My point was low class women have more to share than "strong independant women". I don't care of wealth because i want to be happy not rich.

[@olevianguyen6234]

Is it just me or is he getting cuter and cuter😍

[@brianacrawford9273]

Not just u , crows feet are hawt

[@2Bonita08]

It's just you...and me...and several thousand women. :)

[@julesfrance1908]

Yup cuter n cuter 💓💓✅✅

[@requ321]

It's the accent and yeah he is. I love watching these videos because I try and figure out what the heck I'm doing wrong and two because I love his accent

[@requ321]

Maheen A: That is just gossip and until we hear it from his own mouth then we can say damn the luck. But this is my opinion only I just won't want something that someone reads or say and have you heard about her. But the point is if he is he is but on the other if he's not then one lucky lady will be very happy but have you seen his brother Steve he's a cutie as well.

[@marlenemoonsamy3649]

Spot on! When people are secure they will be more aware of the connection they share rather than trying to impress each other.

[@ladygypsysoul122]

Oh Matthew. I know exactly what you mean. But seriously at this point of my life...I have reach to the point...I don't care anymore. I just want to be uncontrevasily peaceful with my life. So I don't really bother about what other people thinks or feel. Too tired already..trying to make other people happy..while i feel empty and bored inside. Now i have to find a way to make myself happy.

[@okashi10]

I think that's totally ok. But if you're dating someone, or trying to date someone, and have no desire to make them happy, then you probably shouldn't be dating them. It's not about "needing to please," but if you care about someone you should show you care. If you don't care, then that's fine -- just don't date them.

[@leeforde6868]

Being called intimidating could also be related to coming across bitchy or mean. As somebody who suffers from resting bitch face it is been the work of my dating life to figure out how to come across more approachable.

[@ZD126]

The way you make people feel is very important. Thank you for reminding us

[@turra17]

I loved this video. At first, I didn’t know how seriously I would take your videos, but after watching more and more I became so drawn into your take on the psychology of these interactions. I’ve been called intimidating many times, but never as an excuse to why someone wasn’t interested in pursuing something, only as to why they were interested more, and couldn’t take the step further to make the move. Anyway, I want to say thank you for the work you are putting in to help people seeking relationships, and I find your views very interesting.

[@sagaleysakibsomea1899]

seriously matt you made the video so short is like the bliss point...i want more .

[@LizzyC-nf1sv]

The funny thing is that those that feel they cannot impress a woman have the wrong notion of what it means to impress her.

[@nothanks7991]

No idea what that means

[@Supiragon1998]

@@nothanks7991 I think she means that you can impress her without buying her something.

[@TheMiracleWorker007]

I get what you are saying about "one-upping"- everyone should listen and ask questions but that's not the root of the "intimidating woman" problem. Matt, why is it always about building up the male ego? I thought you were gonna say that there's no such thing as an intimidating woman... just really badass, put together, wholesome women that men should be inspired by instead of intimidated by.

[@jjuniper274]

No anger dear. This is the truth! I think for me, I talk too much and am used to the "water-cooler work talk" where there is a bit of one-upsmanship with work collegues, trying to prove they are more valuable. We just take that to the dating scene, and frankly, it has no place there. I DEFINITELY have to work on this! Great reminder! Love you Matthew! 😘

[@talkshh]

Three people told me i looked bored while they were talking, i really was so i'm just hoping a miracle happens and I find someone who i find interesting

[@Adam-cc9ny]

Take inventory of what you find interesting and then just go out there and look for it. If you are one of those people who don't even know what they want and just wait around for something interesting to fall on your lap then it's never gonna happen. All the smart and intelligent strong women I know have one thing in common: they know exactly what they want. And when it comes to men they have specific standards and qualities they look for so that when they're screening men they can identify the ones that they would be truly interested in. You also have to allow men to be able to work towards living up to your standards if it happens that he isn't quite there yet. Men want to prove themselves, that sour instinct. So when we know what a woman wants but we feel as though its achievable then we are going to try and achieve it. So get comfortable with the idea that there probably isn't any men who live up to your standards but there sure as a lot of men who are willing to work with you in order to meet with your expectations. Also, when a man is willing to change and work on himself just to meet your standards then that right there is both how you can know for sure he is serious and also that is how men show their love and devotion to a woman. We love showing our love, not so much talking about it.

[@Sakuems]

That is REALLY FUCKING hard ! women have to be independant and happy alone so we don't end up being clingy to a guy because HE will freak out if a woman needs him right ?! but if we ARE independant and happy alone they end up thinking that we don't need them at all and run away ! We never win this game, men are alway hot and cold. I'm so sick of playing hard to get/being flirty and being on/off with someone, it's like i'm alone even tough a relationship should be a partnership as well. Fuck being intimidating, i have my life, you want to be a part of it, i want to be a part of yours, this is not a contest on who has the best to offer. It's like everyone has forgotten about LOVE in this equation. If you find a woman intimidating, you're just insecure and you need to figure out your life and how to stand out to think "geez, this woman is amazing, i want to be WITH HER" the same way we, women, think that if a guy has his shit together, he's not intimidating, he's just a GREAT guy and it's really sexy and makes us want to be a part of this life as well because two amazing people together makes the world a better place. We don't have to show off. My issues is alway the same, guys run away because they are insecure and think they can't bring enough things to the table and to be honest i'm not running after them, i'm not chasing, i'm not hard to get either. Nobody's intimidating unless you let them be. If you love who you are and what you become, you don't feel insecure you don't have to show off but you know your self worth and you shouldn't be intimidating by anyone. This is about self confidence in your own life, as Mathew said before, do not seek for validation in other's eyes before yours. Same goes with being intimidating, when you know who you are and what your worth, you don't need to show it, you already know. Less talking, more doing ;) NOTE : thanks for all the replies, i'm OK, i just haven't found the right guy but i don't hate men lol !

[@Sansiara]

exactly. there are so many contradictory advices towards women. some say be independent and strong, some say don't be too strong or you scare men away. like wtf. Can't i just be myself? Because if i have to be so many different people in order to attract a man, is it really worth it?

[@theproofistrivial7677]

I’m not ruling out that you’ve met some seriously insecure men, but at some point you have to realize there’s a medium between the two extremes you’re peddling. Be independent and happy, but don’t be distant and arrogant. Be happy to see him, but make sure you want him, and not need him. Being independent is not NEEDING him, not, not WANTING him. I don’t need to listen to symphonies to survive, but my life is sure as hell better for it. My guy KNOWS I don’t need him, but I WANT him. That’s the difference. If you think that being independent means there’s no way any guy can make your life even better, then maybe relationships aren’t for you.

[@Majikn]

Relationships are about love, but dating is about attraction. I think the ultimate goal of attraction is to be positive, confident, and kind. The opposite of confidence results in co-dependence or "clinginess"; the opposite of kindness results in intimidation. As such, you're told not to be clingy and also not to be intimidating, but I don't think this was ever meant to be a contradiction even if it may come off that way. I think clinginess and intimidation are two sides of the same core problem, but there's so much broken telephone in how we communicate about this stuff. I don't think you should be different people in order to attract one man. I think you should find one man that you like, and hope that he likes you back, and then from there focus on making a good impression while realizing that even if you do everything right, it won't always work out, so just try to be positive and have fun.

[@bostenlemaire6895]

The Proof is Trivial Beautifully put.

[@pardissafari1815]

+

[@elenapetrou4492]

Now I've realized how many times we lose opportunities to bond and connect with the people around us... Thank you, Matt!

[@tefismp89]

Being called intimidating is the best compliment I could ever have receive.

[@ErikaBardere]

I was dating someone who kept saying I was too good to be with him & at any moment I might just dump/cheat on him with a better man. Spoiler Alert** a few months later the relationship ended with guiltless cheating & I wasn't the cheater Plot Twist** this guy had zero experience with girls before me (not even kissing) & thought I was a trophy at first

[@mannelshah]

that is the epitome of insecure, insecure people would try to hurt you just to prove to theirselves that they are better than what they actually are, so they just use you to feel better no matter how that makes you feel, they are too week to think about other people, but one thing is sure, he DOES thik you're too good for him, next time you see someone that can't handle how good you are, JUST RUN lol and don't let them make you feel like you're less, that's actually their tactic, they try to bring you down and make you loose your confidence so that they feel better about themselves, DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN, JUST MOVE ON and be happy with someone that deserves you :) ( sorry abou tthelengthy reply, i've just seen this so many times lol )

[@ErikaBardere]

I totally agree! I learned a LOT of red flags after leaving that relationship The benefit would be that this relationship helped me get really good at knowing which people to not pursue when I feel hesitations that I had ignored before

[@zeinalbasam4733]

@@ErikaBardere “When people get hurt, they learn to hate… when people hurt others, they become hated and racked with guilt. But knowing that pain allows people to be kind. Pain allows people to grow… and how you grow is up to you.

[@nothanks7991]

And why do you think that was the case dumbass ?

[@Supiragon1998]

@@nothanks7991 ?

[@mandm2054]

IN AND OUT: in - truth bomb - out. No extraneous blah blah, thank you matthew - smashing it as always.

[@BD638]

I dont relate to any of these points but I have struggled with having men that do not want to pursue me because of this intimidation factor. One of my closest guy friends told me that I am more assertive than the average guy and therefore, those guys who do not have a healthy ego are intimidated because I have more assertiveness in me than them. Now I realize after looking back that the few guys that have found me more attractive BECAUSE of my assertiveness were also guys that I would easily say had healthy egos and were confident in themselves. My assertiveness is part of who I am, a woman, as a person, and if it scares away the chickens, thats alright, because I know from experience that the men that I truely deserve, would be attracted to it. As the quote says "Being yourself pushes away the wrong people for you, and attracts the right people"

[@naomi2737]

Great Vid Matt - BUT I always seem to end up with people/friends and men who expect me to 'entertain' them. It is not because I do not know how to give other people floor space - quite the contrary I would LOVE it if they would take the reigns for a while; it is more that if I don't talk and entertain - they have NOTHING really to fill in the blanks with...

[@pranavnairofficial9180]

I absolutely get what he's talking about. Your talents skills and schedule shouldn't be so overt that the person you are seeing gets scared instead of getting impressed, maybe! ✌🙆

[@TheSepia1]

I was totally ready to write something angry.....But I can't...Everything that you said is so absolutely on point!! Thanku for this vid!!

[@jameelaparker9373]

spot on damn it's hard to admit it though. It is all about how the person made you feel.

[@EstefaniaHZ]

Since cozy season is coming up, I’d highly prepare yourself for single women. My issue? Feeling alone in the world and all you see around you is what looks like people moving forward while you (me) feel stuck. Feeling is “stuck” or stagnant love leads to self-sabotage. For the past year, I’ve felt caught in a cycle I can’t escape.

[@proyc95]

I liked how the talk went from man/ woman to people in general. Yes, everybody would like to think they are special but I would also say that maybe sometimes we like to grow out of our comfort zone and gain growth with our partners as well. Ive heard of married men and men in long lasting relationships who like their partners to 'catch them out on their shit', infact I think both men/women need to catch each other out on their BS by communicating. In my opinion, relationships are one of the best places to learn and grow and for self reflection. Sometimes men/women can feel intimidated by qualities that they don't think they have as yet... And that's when we have identified an insecurity within ourselves. We can either grow in that area we are not so great in OR feel secure with what we have I suppose, it's not the other person that makes us feel insecure or bad about ourselves, it's just us. Thanks for sharing your videos Matthew. :)

[@OneWhoReads]

The funny thing is all I agree with every point pit forward and it kind of gave me some clarity about me and my relationship. Matthew's advise is utterly amazing.

[@emilyschnell623]

I can agree with what you are saying . With that there are some who are intimidated, but those are not the ones you should be invest in time in.

[@onyonofre9812]

Hi Matthew, my big sister has a very successful career but no "luck" in love. She is so much fun, apart of hot, and when she is with someone she invests time because she makes them a priority, that must make them feel special. So I don't know what is going wrong...also you need pillows in other sizes and contrastring colours or patterns to complete your couch. I'll link you to an excellent video. You're welcome ;)

[@gasolinequeen5432]

Mmm idk if intimidating is the right word but I've experienced men who can't handle that I may have more knowledge about certain things they believe to be male dominated hobbies or fields. I'm a welder and a hobbyist mechanic and I've been torn down repeatedly by men telling me I couldn't do something I know very well how to do and belittling my skills or completely dismissing them altogether because it makes them insecure in their own masculinity. It's not cute and it's extremely offensive. So while I agree not all men are intimidated by certain types of women some men are because it threatens their egos. Tbh We should take it as a red flag and not care. If they aren't secure enough in themselves and feel the need to tear me down to build themselves up I'm not interested anyhow. 🤷‍♀️ but to blanketly say this isn't a thing and we just aren't making them feel special enough is kind of garbagey.

[@itsgoodtobegood]

Agree. And you are a hobbyist mechanic? That's so awesome :)

[@nicolettelara1044]

Matt some good points here. I would suggest you counter this video with one towards men and how to love a successful strong intelligent female. In the end it's about compromise, right? To further add to this-The deeper issue lies in our societies' gender roles. Men are encouraged at a young age to be tough, successful in business and to become leaders. Women on the other hand are encouraged to be beautiful, nurturing, and accommodating. Times are changing and men need to be secure in themselves to love a female that doesn't necessarily fit into the common stereo type.

[@FB-yz8is]

Thanks Matty, another amazing video.. Spot on... Intimidating given as a reason is just an excuse.. I even know other people such as friends whom can't stop talking about themselves at every opportunity.. It is very annoying.. yes it comes from their insecurities.. So sad.. Anyhow love u always.. U make my day..every day..listen to u morning, noon and night :) xox

[@samcha6114]

My God! Matthew, I wrote this as a note few days ago, the exact SAME words! You read into my thoughts. Thank you for the video

[@brittany1484]

I have to politely disagree. Drop the low-life who thinks you're intimidating and be with the man who is just as "intimidating" as you are. Go for the confident man who is on par with you rather than the insecure guy who feels threatened by you, especially if he diminishes your accomplishments, acts fake when you tell them good news, or steers you away from your goals. If you're intimidating, then date confident or similarly top tier men who will encourage you to move forward and won't feel insecure around you.

[@nothanks7991]

What you said is not not reality

[@panama2468]

No masculine top tier guy is going to be with an "intimidating" femail. Stop trying to be lack a guy and you'll find someone

[@brittany1484]

@@panama2468 If he's truly masculine, he won't find you intimidating in the first place. You're dealing with a weak man if he's threatened by you. Real men compete with other men, not their wives and girlfriends.

[@panama2468]

@@brittany1484 youre shifting the definition. When I say intimidating, I mean a femail imitated masculine characteristics. No hVM is intimidated by any femail. Just bc a guy doesn't deal with a manly womyn, it doesn't mean he is intimidated or weak. It just means you're a headache

[@brittany1484]

@@panama2468 Actually, you're the one shifting the definition. You're referring to a masculine woman, not an intimidating woman. Some men are just insecure, especially if you're attractive woman, and you shouldn't bother with them in the first place. Just date top tier men.

[@3hpleft]

I think this is over simplified. Yes you need to make sure your date feels good and gets to talk but from a girl who gets called intimidating a lot I get called it by men I never talked to. I am told later by my guy friends that this was a commonly said about me. I never said I word to these men and I am called intimidating. I have been told it is because I have a military gant and that I am as tall as most men before I wear heels.

[@JujuSerdyuk]

Being cool and bragging about being cool are two different things. When I am just being cool, people feel great around me and and feel inspired. Whenever I start talking about how cool I am, I can feel them trying to get away.

[@panasiviri]

I don't think it's a myth. I am an attractive, feminine doctor, and I graduated cum laude ahead of time... but most people in my area are females, that's why I never really got a chance to date someone in my field. I've noticed that it's easier for a nurse or a teacher to get a quality man rather than a doctor, lawyer or business woman. And the reason is because nurses/teachers are educated enough, make a good amount of money (not seen as a burden) and they're not seen as career-obsessed and therefore, not intimidating. They're also done with school a lot sooner than my fellow doctors/lawyers. By the time I was about to enter residency, I was in my late twenties, whereas a nurse/teacher has had a few years of fun, dating around save money and still be young. I've been told that I am the nicest gf my exes had. Not everyone was as nurturing and sweet as I am. And, I may not be "impressed", but I still celebrate a guy's accomplishments and stories genuinely. I don't care much about status, I just want to be loved and accepted. My ex was a cop, and I imagined my life with him even if we had to live in the suburbs. Recently, I was talking to a man on a dating app, who suddenly stopped talking to me after I mentioned that I am a doctor, even though I was still talking to him. He simply assumed that I didn't want to date a guy in sanitation. Also, a lot of guys that say that I am the ultimate package and why would I be with them if I could be with anyone. They don't give me a fair chance but make assumptions that I'm gonna screw them, and they go look for a nurse instead to feel more secure.

[@aleksandrasajewicz4146]

That was way too short for my weekly dose of Matthew... but then again, even if your videos are short, they're always helpful and insightful, so no true losses on my side ;D

[@npnpnp858]

Your advice is good. The real problem are these 2 things: There are not lot of secure men, and you often have to play a lot dumber to make men able to impress you. If there would be this sea of secure and capable men to impress me then it would be easy. But actually 99% of them are insecure and/or don't have a lot going on in their lifes. The 1% is married and/or 99% of women are chasing them. Better to be alone.

[@n-silvabts9178]

What he said is that some women just talk about their travels and careers and don't even value the personal info the guy provides.

[@npnpnp858]

Yes that may be the problem sometimes. Often the guy just is insecure and/or less successful in life in all areas.

[@Sombra_Azul_]

@@aqmohra4 HAHAHAHAHAHA

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

I find most guys are too busy talking about themselves to even know enough about me to be intimidated anyway.

[@Adam-cc9ny]

That's because we are the ones who are supposed to be on display for your approval. You are the one that has the power to decide, not men. Every date is a job interview so of course all we do is talk about ourselves. We talk ourselves up to stand out from the competition or else you will pick the next candidate you think is better.

[@TheLudmilita]

I think it depends of which culture you are talking about. I'm from Buenos Aires and every time I try to make the first step, it's like they freak out. Every time I ask for help on this matter, everyone say I scare them because I'm confident and I don't show them I'm insecure (this happens when I really like the guy, but it happens after I get to know him a bit). Maybe I like shy men, but this doesn't happen when I make the first step with older guys, who are close to their 40s. The problem with them is that they are all married or in a long relationship. When I meet guys of my age from another countries, they don't freak out, idk, I feel like they are open minded and try to know me. This is what I meant with "culture".

[@sylve3456]

Rejection comes from hope. Hope comes from not having what you need. Don't be needy, be yourself and that's perfect.

[@fraulein_farah]

I think the idea is they are often intimidated to APPROACH, they can’t even ask you on a date in the first place ..plus even once in a relationship, a guy can grow to become very intimidated and try to make her feel inadequate.. women need a man who genuinely admires them !

[@nzeadidnazi8410]

I use2 date a girl who was from a wealthy family, her dad was a former senator from Nigeria. she made far more money was far more educated than I. She worked in her uncle's company. she was also a feminist and kinda super controlling like most women, like wanting to know my location, who am with blah blah blah but she's a good person. I tried my best to keep up financially lol but who am I kiddin, am a taylor got my own shop and am proud of what I have but I could tell she kinda wasn't even tho she tried her best not to show it. She always said "man up" a lot so I did. Doing what was best for both of us; I broke up so she can find someone who could meet her standards She was heart broken cause to her, I was a decent guy who never asked her for money like her past boyfriends. She even tried to bribe me by offering me connecting to her family and promising she will change her attitude but I declined. She asked if I was intimidated by her or her success, maybe I was Idk but it's unhealthy being where yur not needed. as a man I felt like a parasite. my parents raised me in a very traditional way plus she had an expensive lifestyle. I later moved to my hometown found me a girl from a descent home, been married now for 3yrs with twins(M&F) my business is still grow my family is proud. God is wonderful.

[@Dwightinho56]

I can only do me, and so far it has worked pretty good. People try to hard at being this or that, just be yourself. If you do there will be a much more natural and organic flow of communication.

[@YasminYoruba]

I find it to be a complicated thing. I’m strong headed and don’t take shit however I pick my battles and try to avoid conflict as much as possible. I’m a leader and a go getter and it makes things so hard! I have learnt to listen more than talk or even ask more about the other person. I feel I’m such a mixture of things at times lol

[@kilochan]

Hey Matt! I hope you see this comment, because I have a little problem that I hope you can solve for me... I recently got an amazing job as a chef at a place I've always wanted to work at, and I love this job so much. I have been doing well and learning fast, the only problem is that our big boss always sees me when I make mistakes and when I fall behind on tasks, but when our other managers are around supervising, they always see me doing well and want to train me in other stations at the restaurant because of how well I'm doing when the big boss is not around. I feel I have a problem with first being too hard on myself because I worry that the few times he's supervised, I've always seemed to make some kind of mistake or drop something in the kitchen (which many people do that at any restaurant anyways) and I feel like it's the worst thing ever for ME to do that and that he would want to fire me (although I've never made a really really bad mistake). And second, I do feel that even though I am being hard on myself, it is understandable to be a little frustrated that every time he sees me working he always has to send someone to help me out, but when he's not around, the other managers send the person that's helping me to go to another station because I'm doing well on my own. I heard him telling a manager that us employees have been here for a month now and we should be getting the hang of things by now. I'm afraid that I'm one of those people he was talking about and I wouldnt doubt that he would think that since I'm always behind and making mistakes because that's what he always sees from me. How can I prove to my boss that I am getting the hang of things at work for him to see? I do feel this sense that I need to prove myself every time he's supervising but I realized that didn't work, and when I've been more natural about it, I still seem to mess up. I haven't made many mistakes or been very confused, but when those moments come he's always there and I want to stop this from happening! Please help!

[@katherinelee4832]

Normally I agree with everything Matt says but this is just ABSOLUTELY NOT true. I'm a female lawyer and before I even open my mouth to try and make them feel a certain way I get the intimidating factor right away. I sometimes even over compensate to try and make them feel comfortable or a certain way. If I haven't really said much to even make them feel a any kind of way, how is the intimidating woman a myth?? This is just not true. Men are intimidated by women for a various number of reasons. It's a fact.

[@Katatawnic]

He's dead wrong about this one. And he says that only an insecure person will talk about themselves (I'm obviously simplifying his message here), but only an insecure person will be intimidated by a date who is successful, good looking, and/or confident, etc. Further, it is not my job to make a man feel awesome about himself (especially early, before things get serious), any more than it is his job to make me feel awesome. We're supposed to make ourselves feel good about being together, not about ourselves as individuals. People place so much responsibility on their partners' shoulders. If we can't make ourselves happy, no one else can do it for us. This is fundamentally known.

[@dilshadrawat1619]

Insecure men put u down simply because they are insecure and want and need u to feel ur happy only becuz of them. When in reality many factors can mke u happy not just an insecure who sucks the happiness out of ur life to make him feel secure. Some of what mr hussey sed i agree....i personally do not need to brag bout my achievements am secure in myself n the suitable man n friends will know that...am all about connection buh eh wud be great for a guy to genuinely be proud of me for my education and potential rather than she can be intimidating have they ever asked y uno evn the strongest emotionally and mentally can break

[@dilshadrawat1619]

Thts y u choose to do sumat bout it buh it is what it is not victimhood for some people so if one expresses it ur crying victim no i say it is what it is ....expressing th truth is not victimhood its expressing ur point or comment

[@katherinelee4832]

La la la I totally agree and I am willing to self assess and self correct which is why I think people watch Hussey in the first place. I also agree victimhood will get you absolutely no where. However, it is a fact that I would have had a minimal interaction with a man and they seem interested and the second I tell them what I do I see the interest level decrease. Maybe I'm reading it wrong but it's happened many many times in different settings, online and in person so I guess this is why I personally tend to disagree with you and Hussey on this one topic due to my personal experiences.

[@dilshadrawat1619]

Cool each to their own opinions ,experiences n beliefs

[@SarahAveryt]

Never made that connection before that insecure people talk about themselves. This is great info and brilliant - thanks, Matt and Co. Inspiring me to continue bettering myself and becoming a better communicator! :)

[@sna241]

The most insightful video ever. I respect independent women and believe in equality. However, there is a trend these days where some of them want to feel 'superior' and would like to keep on bragging about their achievements 'in the name of embracing girl power'. Of course, men would generally don't give a damn about such intricacies but there is a threshold up to which anyone can tolerate! Worst of all, such women don't even try to change or feel sorry even if they are well known for their rudeness and insecure dominating personality. If this is a trait that 'they see' in ordinary men and 'would like to do the same', then clearly such people need to be educated irrespective of their gender.

[@perfumaphilia3246]

This is so spot on, Mr. Hussey. Your ability to hit the nail on the head every time is intimidating to me 😉

[@How.Dare.You.]

Not true. I was intimidated how great the guy was that it terrified me and thought he was out of my league. Works both ways.

[@Katatawnic]

Exactamundo!

[@sageoftruth]

Which is exactly what he said.

[@cutenailart6311]

Some guys say Im intimidating, because I'm the deep-soul intellectual type and I'm pretty worldly. But I dont take it too personally... I mean, I understand how they feel. I have felt intimidated by the opposite sex before. For example, if I'm talking to a really cute, nice guy who's a doctor, or a lawyer or something.... I do feel intimidated by him. The reason is usually they are more educated than me, they have a far better job, they make a lot more money, they talk about things I don't know much about and... I just feel like they are WAY out of my league. It's not that I don't like him, not at all! I think he is amazing! But deep down, I think he would be a lot happier with someone who is on his level. He would soon realize that we have very little in common and lose interest in me. I think that because that's what happens when I bump into guys that are not as educated or deep as I am... They bore me to death and they seem too simple and shallow.

[@naynamangalore]

Thanks again Matthew. But I have experienced that men (aplha male personality) get intimidated when they meet alpha females. This is because we don't validate and stroke their egos instead we have our own lives to live and our own paths to follow. Please share your thoughts on this.

[@merelaartman5046]

Nayna Shetty Or maybe you seem cold, distant and mean?

[@Sombra_Azul_]

HAHAHAHAAHA OKAY....

[@tanjakapunkt4641]

"Let's make this about ...people" - LIKE IT! 🙂

[@CestMoiSneha]

What you say makes so much sense! I'm such a Type B... I really don't have that much time!

[@latinaalma1947]

I have had men say I was terrifying more than one they were colleagues. The thing was though I was single I lived with a terrific man fpr 41 years and we were perfect together HE certainly wasnt intimidated by me...he was a self confident man.

[@SueRibelle]

Uh, talk about hitting "right in the feels"! I am a former translator with more than 5 year experience, I was a certified freelance makeup artist, I had a moderately successful blog and another KZbin channel that again launched pretty fast, I am bilingual, I'm getting my masters from a highly acclaimed university, and can't say I'm bad to look at. No, no, scratch that, I have to be honest: I am pretty. Not to toot my own horn but that's what I hear since I've known myself. So one asks, what is it that makes a guy even approach you when you have all of these qualities with an extra dose of friendliness and kindness? BALLS. Some iron, stern, "knows what he wants and ready for it" balls. I'm almost 26 and I have NOW, just this year met a guy who knows how to compliment me, who knows how to appreciate me and not chicken out when he hears my affection towards him. And, ladies, take note and shoo away that stupid old idea of "dating guys older to find that MAN who is mature enough to handle you". This guy is almost 2 years younger than me too! I tell you, it becomes even more fun when he still has that kid inside his heart as well! It's been a long life I guess. But good that our paths finally crossed. Wishing the same to every other "intimidating women" out there!

[@siuzannavyshneva6312]

Guys naturally are very easy to connect with but I know guys that take the intimidating woman as a challenge and merely go on a few dates with her to find week areas and bombard her with typical man's dissapointment. They just find something to belittle you if you are, indeed, utterly intimidating and there is no other vibe to you that he wants to gamble for. Just remember to always listen to your gut. If you look him in the eye and he struggles to check you out because of your newly gained confidence in his eyes for whatever he considers a no-no for a SHE in his life, then really you are a solved case right there. You need to leg out ASAP.

[@SandraShani1]

I agree that not all men are intimidated by successful women. It's obvious. The problem is when 70% of men are like that, mainly guys in their early 20s. I get that you have to look at yourself first if something is going wrong in your life but now it's getting tired. I've been in several situations where guys asked me how to do something (at dance lessons), I showed them and told them how to do it and they were all like "wow you're so bossy, so intimidating", what??? You literally wanted and information and I gave it to you. I wasn't impolite or anything. In the end it's all about balance but I'm honestly done with having to be constatly carefully checking my behaviour so men won't get stressed. They tell us to be feminine, then they laugh at us for these same feminine things. We should depend on our men yet then we're constantly reminded that it's all thanks to them. I know that Matthew wasn't talking about this kind of man, but still. They're the overwhelming majority. Also I'm really curious if Matthew still teaches men and if not, why.

[@hollywoodelle]

Love how short and sweet and to the point this video is! More of this!

[@ScarlettAlexandraS]

Oh god I constantly get called intimidating....very awkward...

[@rominaconstenla5624]

Scarlett Alexandra because you probably don't need them.

[@3hpleft]

Same. I think it is the more we are hard to impress then anything.

[@ScarlettAlexandraS]

Yeah I think it is because they feel I don’t need them... then if I show them that I do need then... then they worry I’m too clingy... loving the vicious circle...🤣

[@3hpleft]

yeah I feel I can’t win. Be to friendly and approachable I get creepy guys twice my age talking to me how I can legally go topless. Walk with a purpose I am scary and unapproachable to good men. Wear my heart on my selve I am clingy and easy evn if I have only found 4 men in my life romatically attractive. Give them space and move on I am a tease and an ice hearted. It feels like no matter what we do we are doomed.

[@ScarlettAlexandraS]

Caroline Decker oh my god!!!! I cannot connect with you more!!! It is the same for me. I feel that no matter what approach I take, I am considered “the girl you only hook up with...” And then when I show how much more value I have, and what I can offer in terms of support and companionship, then I am intimidating.

[@228Fran]

Great advice :) It makes sense as well. You wouldn't want to sit in a date and listen to the other person boasting and upstaging you the whole night so why does he have to take it from you. Dating is about getting to know each other and seeing if you would like to continue to get to know each other, not a new person to tell how awesome your life is.

[@heatherbryant4197]

I have been told point blank I am intimidating, though not for the conventional reasons most women claim or speculate they are intimidating. I'm very quiet and stoic around people I don't know well. Those who are hungry for validation and approval say this makes them nervous because they don't know what I'm thinking and whether I like them or not. Anxious types tend to fear the worst when they don't know how you feel. I am an excellent listener but am sometimes guarded with my own emotions. As I've gotten older and grown better at communicating though, this doesn't happen as often. To me, it boils down to fear of the unknown. Death is intimidating for that very reason. We fear the worst. I agree there are different reasons why a man might tell a woman she is intimidating though.

[@MC-ui7br]

Matthew is gorgeous! And clever. And he's from the UK which makes this English woman happy! He has it spot on about strong women. I can't abide threatened men.

[@melodielopes5929]

I have been told this but not for the reasons you mention. I have had to talk care of myself, which basically pushed into it this. So I have learned how to use a pressure washer, back off a side by side off a trail, and rewire a lamp, for example. I have never had a man do the man roll.

[@p1o2k3e41]

Just as I'm thinking of how can I reach out to Matthew to voice my opinion, this video came up and HOPEFULLY, he'd see this. Matthew, I see alot of sense in the advice you give to women about what to say - how words are purposefully selected to give the right impression. BUT the state of mind and emotional maturity of a person will go a much further distance in attracting the right men. Afterall, like attract like. Rather than advocating a projection of a strong, giving and loving woman - perhaps the more important advice would be the fundamentals of becoming that person. That way, no 18 best texts or responses are required, people know exactly what to say because its an authentic response coming from someone who intrinsically has those standards for themselves. That being said, enjoy your videos as its always insightful and perceptive.

[@mariihespana]

This was just what i wanted to listen. Great channel, Matthew. Congrats on your success. from Brazil, kisses.

[@belinda2918]

What if the man thinks the woman is intimidating before they even date... sometimes i feel like I'm intimidating because men usually assume I'm not gonna date them like I'm out of anyone's league...

[@SC-rt7bq]

I remember the time when I graduated, I had few of guys who opened up to me. And said that they couldn't do it during school because they were intimidated by me to do it during that. I remember how I found it cowardly, in my mind of course, didn't say it to them. Now I'm questioning myself! Hahah well thank you for that.

[@jaymelee2821]

Guys always tell me they feel too intimidated to talk to me first, they would rather have me start a conversation with them and i honestly don't know why, i try to not be too closed off, but if i'm not interested i show it through my body language. but somehow they think this applies to all guys in the vicinity. Help! What can i do to correct this?

[@swedishgirl2506]

Makes sense. I'll keep in mind what he says next time before I decide he's wrong.

[@hannahsmith3344]

I think describing someone as intimidating, isn't really very clear specific communication. As Mathew interpreted to 3 possible meanings, which he elaborated on well. I think a good point is that we aren't always clear, e.g. expand more on something, or clarify, with what we mean. I think probably when someone says intimidating, they probably have different reasons for saying so, or using it to mean different things. I think you could always ask what exactly they mean, so that it can be a discussion between two people and not just an unclear statement that is made which could be interpreted as many things. Because maybe it's, wow you're intimidating, I'm impressed by you or it could be you're intimidating, I don't feel safe and comfortable around you, or BC someone is more insecure about themselves.

[@VietFlower91]

I think this was great advice for any relationship and not just romantic ones. Thanks for sharing!

[@cjoeddy]

So true! And for all that is good in this world WHY do women assume that men need to make them feel safe and secure and validated and listened to BEFORE they'll even consider reciprocating?! How narcissistic is that?! 'Fulfill all of my needs but yours can wait until I feel like you've earned it.' Pffft. I'm not a pushover. And I'm a pretty successful gal (career, great family, great friends) and those things have never made me feel like my needs and wants out weigh theirs.

[@ellybrown1789]

was very clearly explained, great video! also i liked how you made the video this time, very stylized, pop, and with nice flow effects;) great job!!

[@alarailun5376]

Some female friends I've had to stop setting up on dates because they're awful. They think they're too 'intimidating, impressive, beautiful etc...' No, they're rude, lacking self awareness, judgy, deluded, boring... I hear all about it from the men the next day. Men like personality, a nice person and a spark. If you don't have those qualities then it doesn't matter what you look like or how successful you are but it's not the success and looks turning the men off. Those are bonuses!!!!