The Narcissist and Money: Mind Games they Play With Money to Mess With Your Head

[@hopesdaughter5947]

Omg Lisa. I have experienced almost alllllllll that you said with my covert narcissist ex-husband during the marriage and after the divorce. Yup, mine stopped paying our mortgage, which lead to losing my house in Long Island. He wouldn't give me the papers for my car that my mother actually helped me buy. He played dumb and said he didn't know where the papers were, they were under his car dealer license. I had to fight for child support that is not even enough for 3 children. I didn't take alimony, thinking, well I got a Masters degree, a business, etc, I'm a smart woman, I'll figure it out. Plus, trying to end a long dragged out divorce because of him. But, it has been financially tough. I was awarded funds from his pension from the divorce. My lawyer made me not turn that down. My ex never signed it over with the IRA company and they won't transfer it without his signature. And now my spirit has grown, so even if I had money to cover a lawyer, I wouldn't take him to court for it. Boy o' boy, I got even more stories and some priceless lessons! Smh... But God is good. Gratefully, I'm completing my dissertation for my PhD, though I had to leave my beloved city and my parents who are not physically well, to live affordably in another state and to be far enough to "gray rock" him effectively. My stories will help empower other women and continously heal my soul. I try to remain faithful in knowing that God will replace all that I lost, including real love. You are the example! Lots of hugs and Happy New Year Lisa from your 'born and raised Queens, NYC' little sister (in my mind, lol)... 🙏💗🌈💪🦋🌻

[@lisaaromano1]

I hear you and I have been through so much of the same, including no alimony. He stonewalled, played dumb, lied, showed up in family court disheveled, used the kids against me when it came to child support, kept me in anxiety over paying their tuition and on and on....All it did was motivate me to never need anyone financially again....all it did was prove to me that taking care of myself had to be my first priority....I am glad you are gaining your freedom! You rock!

[@dr.marnihillfoderaro1064]

So many people can resonate with EVERYTHING you have been through! Goodness prevails. Keep the love in your heart-nobody can rob you of that!

[@hopesdaughter5947]

@@lisaaromano1 yes I'm reminded how he wouldn't help pay the preschool tuition for my youngest of the three. I don't know how I did it on my own but I did. Thank goodness it was in a understanding church near my then home. Bethlehem Nursery School.That youngest is now 10. The others are 12 and 16. And today he ghosts his own kids. Just this past Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years he didn't even call. In many ways I'm happy he didn't. My two oldest, especially my daughter, become anxious when the phone rings and its him. Yes, I am doing my best to get it fuuuuully together, lol, financially so whether the child support comes in or not, I won't need it to make ends meet. Being a full time doctoral student, I have anxiety every month wondering if it will or won't. Thank you for your reply Lisa. Happy Sunday!

[@hopesdaughter5947]

@@dr.marnihillfoderaro1064 Thank you, I will. All the best to you too. 💞

[@prestonrobert2625]

Glad I looked at this depth of irresponsibility. Thanks!

[@johnaleman6456]

Once you have been taken by a narcissistic person, it's hard to ever trust anybody again.

[@חניתהאזולאי]

But it still posebull..just need to work on our self and take time...do what we can not attract narcasist pepole!!

[@maureengriffin7448]

I’ll never trust a man again. Can’t afford to

[@חניתהאזולאי]

@@maureengriffin7448 this is not only about man its about giving a trust humenity...your family mambers just a new girl friend and also reletion ships with man or woman...i learn to recadnize narcasists see the red plag and walk away .or if i attract time and time again narcasists work on myself and see the signs why i do so...i am still working on my confidance but i see it gets stronger and stronger day by day...i learn trust my self and alone and i belive in some point when i finish my work i will alowd naturally mire health pepole come in to my life...so i am still having alot of hope.take care everybody !!and thank you alot lisa ❤️

[@nannymcphie3948]

What's amazing is people who remained good despite all the evil they experienced.

[@melissastorms7960]

So true

[@ericac2420]

You had me at “your money is our money, my money is my money.” That explains it all

[@ericac2420]

@Heather B they are the most selfish people on earth. Narcissist drain you of everything money is like the first thing

[@kathleenveronesi2755]

Or, "It's My money!" (Husband refuses to pay alimony to wife after 37 years of marriage.) He squirreled all assets overseas to buy both daughters a fancy home. Added to that he created parental alienation. I'm the wife -70 years old.

[@mrs.m.9226]

My narc said something like this too! Crazy!! Never thought much more than, this feels funny and that joke is annoying. Apparently it felt funny for a reason.

[@kirstinstrand6292]

My eyes are your eyes.

[@kirstinstrand6292]

@@kathleenveronesi2755 yeah, my ex SO squirreled away money, too. No kids though, TG! So Sorry ..aging sucks, surround yourself by friends you can trust.

[@nancyfralick7970]

Their greedy, controlling, 80% for them 20% for you. I worked all my life. Keep your own money ladies. Beware!

[@patriciawhite9509]

My BIG problem with money in relationship is no man tell me what to do with my money and do not discuss money with me. Bills to be paid 50/50. If at anytime you do not have yours go thief or borrow it. Honestly who wants to live like that, but I tell any man straight up you DO NOT have a discussion ever, about me and my money I worked for.

[@mgu1N1n1]

Works both ways. SHE ran off with all of MY dough... gots nuttin' to do with gender!!!

[@patriley2607]

Build a stash and i mean build it i have been lucky my sister has not found that stash. And i recently was able to get my home refinanced to get it awaY from a mortgage company that is on a glut of repossession even from paying accounts.

[@ratedr9672]

Yes!!! Always in a jam, and need to be bailed out from my damn purse; never has a penny for himself😒

[@nellsmith9721]

Your so right .... I kept hold of everything .... Thankgod xxx

[@PRETTYGIRLSWAGG918]

Everything belongs to them except for the blame and endless problems .

[@martinnwagbara464]

That's do true Lisa. It seems like I've gone through most of those traits. They hide their $1000 and actually help you to deplete your $100 pretending to be broke

[@angelaogucha7591]

I have been there ...

[@janeene24]

Or secretly have thousands and thousands of dollars in cash and credit and gets mad they they always buy the $12 bottles of wine while you barely make ends meet. True story. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@ignoranceisnotatrend4669]

@@janeene24 mine is a Rn and makes 5 times more than me I do all of the cooking and sometimes want even order us a pizza.

[@ilovejesuschrist992]

Yep. My last two exes would stack their money and want me to spend all of mine.

[@emmarae4322]

Happened to me. He tried to lie to me this morning about having $900. It was the last straw. Lying POS.

[@rjolucky2431]

As long as they are in control. That's all that matters to them

[@ionapereira6801]

YES RIGHT.... I live with one n hv gone thru it. They r d happiest when in control n dominating others. 😡😡😡😡 But not anymore... ENOUGH IS ENOUGH... Am done... I try to live n LOVE myself now n feel a bit much lighter n better.. 👍🙏

[@zackzues4830]

Fact's

[@geoffreybailey3512]

"What's yours is ours and what's mine is mine." Perfectly said. They also mix I and we for their benefit.

[@ksia5170]

Exactly...for their benefits only..when I had money he used to treat me like queen and once he completely able to used it ...he treat me like trash...his love change with money...all these 10 years of our marriage , he took control of my money gaslighting me that I'm not good at handling finance..and if I spend little money on me or my family...he would get very upset and keep abusing me for spending money uselessly...thanks god I I divorce that horrible narcissist 3 month back...never felt so relieved and secure...now all my money is mine and I can used it where and whom ever without killing myself with fear and guilt...he even once destroyed our home because I gave my brother 20,000 only...whereas I spent lakhs on his two sisters and brother education and theirs marriage...all these years he used me financially and once his financial need over he start treating me very badly ...he even start to abuse me physically..but now I'm safe and happy and financially secure...loving this life without my narcissistic husband around....hope each person have gut to get out of their toxic relationship...because life is very beautiful and happy..all you need is to over come your fear dear...beautiful life is waiting for you.

[@ninolorzano7315]

That's really true,it makes me feel I'm idiot who knows nothing.

[@davidcross2341]

Yes, they do

[@kaylee6384]

100%

[@FLJAMESFL]

I will never co-sign for anything ever again. I’m done.

[@lynnvs6372]

Never let them use your credit cards. Theyll run them up and ruin your credit

[@lisaaromano1]

Smart...

[@annbelmonti3737]

And don’t let them move in either.

[@LeahFrazier]

I'm going through this right now. I'm done too. Never again.

[@sleepypisceslove1586]

We had to move in with my monster-in-law because my wife had stomach cancer. My wife's monster told her "the only reason u are in this house is because of your bad choices and I will never give u another fucking dime so don't ask". She's fun! Here is another great example of a narc. If the monster makes us dinner and I say "thank u so much for dinner" her reply "well I have to eat too u know, so"! Now do I not thank her for things? How do u handle saying thank u??? Also the monster will NEVER thank us for helping in the house. You all know why..... because we OWE her! At Christmas, thanked the monster for my gifts, her reply "well I'm going to need rides to doc apts soon! Lol I just have to laugh because its so wrong and f'd up! I really can not stand this woman. I think she is the meanest person I have ever met in my life and I have to see her ugly face everyday, its awful!

[@flowerchild7280]

I realize every time I accept one of these "gifts" .. I get treated worst than before. Like a downpayment on my soul.

[@sherricharles8149]

Omg! Yes

[@devong7124]

Exactly.

[@marinvidovic763]

Yep... give you sex, and crumbs of "love" /aka- connectedness, (,gift), but then suddenly emerge ... tonnes of STRINGS ATTACHED- and noncompliance is then punished by abuse , shame tactics, on/off behaviour, etc etc ... , and withdrawal.

[@stormyweather2398]

Oh yeah! I paid dearly if we actually had a good weekend. Usually on the ride back or the following week. I usually paid for it too.

[@thehealthangelint]

I'm in Agreement with you all

[@celisachoo7900]

When I was young elderly person told me, you are too giving and people will come around to take so don’t be too giving. It woke me up.

[@deelot1]

The opposite is also true - they’re obsessed with earning money that they can buy the other person big things like cars, houses, surgery etc with the condition that they can treat you like their property.

[@lemurianchick]

Genuine Julie But if you are not sure of their intentions then a fun thing to do on a date is go to that fancy restaurant they are wining and dining you and when they expect you to “put out,” it’s a teachable moment! 🤣

[@MariaColomy]

OMG YES!

[@necrochic13]

So true

[@queenvictory690]

Exactly 💯

[@stacykreager5139]

deelot1 my dad bought the restaurant that my husband and I built from scratch, with my in-laws, we almost had our debt paid(250k) my dad bought it, going behind my back to get it started. This happened at 7 1/2 years into our success. They bought it for me, haha.. when I started therapy and remembered my childhood abuse. My husband and I were fired, he has tried to kill me, report lies to police and dcf. I have restraining orders against me, bc I’m abusive(f***ing joke). I’m not in trouble, detectives have been supportive. Now trying to sue?. Me though insurance company-no one will answer phone or return calls. We are contacting an attorney. I’ve not spoken to my parents since the day he put his hands around my neck. My hope is that they get bored with me, I’m 51, it’s been 3 months of hell, revelations, pain, extreme acts of lies to cover their behaviors... only shows everyone exactly who my parents are.... both of them.

[@awhalestale623]

They're psychos. A healthy relationship is based in mutual trust. It's an equal partnership. No one person lording over another.

[@fionacook7808]

Yup and my ex would mock me when I said that we should be side-by-side as equals.

[@ArtisticJourneys101]

F DF fff

[@a.c.993]

Narcs do play the poor card. *Beware of someone who always leaves their wallet at home and never reciprocates with anything.

[@Moneyoverbullshit850]

Right I dealt with something like that

[@cindysomerville4149]

Amen playing broke is a game they love to play...until it comes to a new toy they want.

[@jennyh8987]

I’ve been financially abused for years I’m not ready to share but now I am aware ☹️

[@tbd5082]

I AM SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

[@sarairivera-cintronmsw1548]

Omg. My ex used me for my money and my body. He put me in debt. Unreal, this is freaking right on target. Thank you and blessings. Yah my ex used to say it's Our money, but I was the one carrying the family financially all 12 years. No more. I will stay single for the rest of my life. I will not put me through this ever again.

[@lemurianchick]

@Sarai Rivera: Then you're letting the narc win. He still is controlling you. He's got you shutting out potential love. If you wanted to take a breather, that would be understandable. But never be in a relationship? If you have learned how to spot narcs and take a relationship very slowly, chances are you would weed out the narcs easily. You have to trust your own judgment and that you're not the same as you were before. Never say never. 😊

[@aharry31]

I agree to never say never no hoping for and being with a non abusing fun loving functional rewarding experience filled with love. That is what I wanted, but accepted less than. I am still alive and healing with the grace of God from financial abuse, many marital infidelities, and many chronic health issues. NO more rose colored glasses. Clear as day is on the road to truthfulness. I realized one day that to continue to support a person with NPD was lowering my standards and supporting their no morals or standards. Their only standard is to have their cake and eat it too. I was living a lie.That lie when I no longer could adjust myself into a pretzel for that bullshit, gave me in heavens' name the strength to slowly change my mindset and face my real fears. Could not keep my head in the sand while a hurricane was swirling around me. It is about survival.

[@sarairivera-cintronmsw1548]

@@lemurianchick you are absolutely right. Thank you. I stand correct. Blessings :)

[@lemurianchick]

@@sarairivera-cintronmsw1548 Blessings to you too! I feel we are becoming more powerful than ever!!!!

[@sarairivera-cintronmsw1548]

@@lemurianchick yes we are. We are mighty in Jesus name.

[@jakesteeve]

Damn you got to reupload this one. I know it's a lot of ppl going through this. Playing the poor card, helping them with all there expenses, them telling you how much money you waist, then acting like they never ask you to do any of it. Letting you know you did it all of your own free will. On top of all that financial abuse they then go to tell you, you haven't done enough for them. This was my walking away moment.

[@diedrahelen1751]

GIRL! When he thought I was getting a large settlement, it was ours. However, the business I helped him build was HIS.

[@CCmomma22]

He got me to quit my job, become a stay at home mom and rely on him. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@heatheroreilly1050]

Same

[@Iamgemsthevessle]

Exact same

[@brittneyandrea5137]

Same

[@valerieobrien5521]

A trap. Bad idea to heed their words about your OWN independent life.

[@MKD-dd6ng]

Same here....For over 20 yrs. If I ever mentioned work back then, he would say: "You don't need to. I'm taking care of you, so you can raise our sons." It was wonderful being with my boys....but I realize NOW what he was doing. I have become so reliant on him for everything. I hate it! But I'm now working for my own needs. He is trying to get me to help with the bills, and I'm not doing it. I told him it's time I save my money and fix my teeth! He could care less. He blowed $4,000 on toys for himself in 3 months. It was my money!!!! I had saved. Little by little, he blowed it all! NEVER AGAIN!!!! I'm done with his games.

[@StuartWainwrightable]

After twelve months it feels like I'm going into shock. It's really hitting home. It's absolutely demonic!

[@maruxa1996]

😞

[@CMoore8539]

Once they destroy their credit, watch out! Then they’ll get credit in your name. Mine did.

[@lisaaromano1]

WOW!!!! I will have to include that on the next video...I am sorry this happened...is everything sorted out now?

[@CMoore8539]

@Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc. Thank you! Yes it’s sorted out now. Nothing could have prepared me for that. It was totally unexpected, so I wanted to warn others to keep close watch on their private information, when dealing with a person like that. Thank you so very much for all that you are doing!!!

[@justinkace6039]

Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc. yes recently my mom and gay brother took out 7 credit cards in my name nov 2019. It’s like a war with those folks

[@Gunner171984]

Scary! I never thought of this!

[@justinkace6039]

Abisola Abiodun all the cards were sent to my mother address. Everything has a paper trail

[@blgallas]

Beware of men who say they want to treat you as a queen. In my experience, that’s narc speak for, “I’m the KING, you WILL OBEY ME. You are subject to their opinions and thoughts. If you disobey you will be punished. Oh yeah.

[@steveo5763]

What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine.

[@shailajasharma3190]

Every video of yours has given me a word to all the confusion I was dealing with for 40 years of my married life. I couldn't explain to anybody about what I had been going through. By Listening to your videos, I now know that I don't need to explain to people about what I am going through ,rather I now am learning to maneuver this situation. I cannot thank you enough for all that you are doing to help so many of us through these videos. I now feel mental peace and strength. I sleep better and I have more energy than before, to do the things I like. I don't feel frustrated any more. Thank you again.

[@kenyawhite1111]

This is my ex-husband. He was financially abusing me and I didn't even know what a narcissist was until after I had already decided to leave and found out online. That was a valuable lesson that I had to learn the hard way. I am glad I went through that though because I embarked on a journey of self-love and self-respect that was very much so needed. Thank you for this video. It is very much so needed, after dealing with a narcissist, to get confirmation because the narcissist will gaslight you to the point you are doubting your own memory, perceptions and even your sanity

[@mars963]

My ex -husband used to tell me every day that I was stupid, crazy and insane. To shut him up I would say The Lord's Prayer out loud to drown out his voice. Finally, one day when he said it again, I said, "Well, I must be cuz I'm married to you." Shortly after that he didn't want me to attend my grandmother's funeral in another state with my sister and that was the start of my exit plan. Although we have been divorced many years, his family still regards me as a relative and invite me to family events. Our two daughters kept their ties to their father's family from the ages of 3 and 4-1/2. On his death bed he apologized to them for not being the father he could have been.

[@kiralevenson1706]

I am venturing down this path. I finally just don't care anymore. Cannot afford actual therapy since my trust fund narc in laws took everything my little abused self got for myself! Enough to make you throw up in your mouth a little! (Thought I'd try to end with a joke!) God bless!

[@Mark_Adams]

A narcissist expects you to move mountains when they need money or a favor, BUT will criticise you in your time of need. They'll make you feel like the biggest loser and DON'T YOU DARE bring up a time when you did them a favor because in their twisted mind you were SUPPOSED to do that favor because of who they are. My father smh

[@terrancemcclendon456]

Right

[@awhite7596]

There are people out there who live to take advantage of other people...best light bulb moment ever.

[@kimlynch209]

This is so spot on! He wanted me jobless and dependent on him. I did quit and was dependent for two years. I made an escape plan, got a job, he freaked out! I finally escaped , and although, my lifestyle changed, i live in peace now. The roller coaster ride ended!

[@lulu-qw8xy]

Thank you, my husband did not value my contribution to our family of taking good care of our children, the home, our family... he considered me less than because I did not bring in an income, therefore I did not actually work.

[@jennyl7422]

Same.. I didn't work, but took care of all the household chores and our cats.. and when I asked him to stop smoking inside, he said that I didn't have a say in the house, because I didn't pay any rent (or other expenses).. and I was like excuse me, I am on the lease too.. so he eventually gave in.. but the fact he constantly had to rub it in my face I didn't work (while it was his idea to stop working in the first place and when I wanted to go back to work I wasn't even allowed to anyway).. pissed me off the most.. I'm also sure that he told other people that I was lazy and didn't want to work while he knew that I really wanted to but just couldn't at that time (due to my anxiety)

[@kylehennessy-snow1674]

Same here. Had to fight for an extra 5 bucks.

[@graz1851]

@@jennyl7422 i

[@MakeAmericagreatAgainEVH]

Heard this for 20 years!!! They are disgusting!

[@dawnag7526]

wow, you just described my narc father.. he plays all these mind games. He has done so many horrible things to my mom and the family. My elderly mother is in a care home after she had a stroke, and my elderly narc father refuses to pay for her care, so my brother and I are paying for everything. Another horrible thing he did: during my mom's working years, he convinced her to take a job that paid "under the table". She worked for 20 years getting paid in cash, which meant no Canada Pension. Now that she's retired, she has no money. My brother and I had no idea this had happened. It's totally true about hiding investments.. he has hundreds of thousands of dollars that he is just sitting on, telling people he has no money, yet drives around in a 50,000 car and a huge house, while my mom struggles. He is an evil terror...

[@lynnvs6372]

This can go both ways. Now I'm currently keeping my money separate. Is that Narcissm? Of course not. It's because I've learned valuable lessons w money w him. He wod use my inheritence to buy racing stuff and I had no money. Then abuse me to the point I'd want to leave but couldnt because I had no money. So I advise you keep money sep in these types of manipulationships.

[@marygeraghty5413]

Totally agree! However, be aware if you marry and still keep a separate account, should you one day divorce--he still gets half of what your account contains from the day of marriage. Cost me an expensive lesson😕😡

[@KatinaLifeCoach4444]

Nope, when you keep in separate account then put in a trust....they will never know it

[@treasuretrove4755]

I hope you weren't involved with Rob Gandy from Sewell NJ. He's a Narcissist I escaped 4mths ago with $100 left in my account. What a relief that nightmare is finally over

[@leahweinberger583]

Never mix your money. Never.

[@joysimmons446]

Right

[@deltaradiance9034]

This video was published on my birthday. That was the day I was celebrating my Freedom from a narcissistic ex fiance. I am FREE. Thank you Lisa❤❤❤

[@davidcross2341]

❤❤

[@pennygee667]

OMFG, the Whine But Never Sign. They exhaust you until you break down and get them whatever it is, and they turn right around and say "I never asked you to buy me that!" GAH!!!

[@seanrademeyer3104]

23 minutes into this video brought me to tears. That is my truth and my present circumstances. I have never stopped to take the time to process why my life is here financially. I just connected so many dots and although I’m defiantly ashamed for being so naive, there is hope when you finally reach step zero, which is awareness. Timely message indeed.

[@Bob-zc4bm]

Sorry man, hope you're doing better these days.

[@marierrichardson3248]

WOOOOOOOOW SO TRUE I HATE TO EVEN TALK ABOUT IT.🤔

[@assil110]

You dont need to feel naive. Dont forget that these people are psychopath ... I am pretty sure you felt that something was wrong but because you are empath, you tried to convince yourself that you were probably overreacting. So at the end, she didn't deceive you , she just took advantage of your kindness. No matter the money you lost, you are now a winner ... keep up mate :)

[@teresafraser3049]

Run away from your relationship NOW!!!

[@Stronghawk50]

Me too brother

[@howtothriveafteratoxicrela2784]

Financial abuse is absolutely horrific. I experienced financial abuse during my narcissistic abusive relationship. What a helpless feeling. So glad to be through that challenging time and feeling so optimistic about the future! Thank you for your educational videos. 😍

[@QueenBee1118]

How to Thrive After a Toxic Relationship when you know better, you do better. Don’t beat yourself up.

[@lisaaromano1]

It is awful and it induces such a feeling of powerlessness which . is what they want...

[@lindseytruman9160]

My narcissist during the financial abuse (I started just creating boundaries) demanded he get power of attorney over my affairs and threatened to hospitalize me and even convinced my parents I was mentally ill.

[@Kate-hh8yi]

@@lindseytruman9160 how did you get away?

[@thomasrussell5266]

I always assumed my wife had good intentions with our families future , I thought she loved our daughters like I did she purposely ruined my credit and kept my broke until I started doing math ,And numbers don't lie , she is a beast with money and credit cards, it's a big red flag when your spouse doesn't work ,and bums off you 50/50 or it's not a relationship it's another child to raise.

[@TabithaJane]

All of my narcs were always broke, yet somehow they magically managed to get the random b.s. they want, all the while manipulating me and guilting me into paying for them or giving over my paycheck. I realize now that I allowed this, but at the time, I fell for their tactics hook, line, and sinker.

[@TabithaJane]

@@joshuafalade4754 Interesting in that this is the same reply I received on yet another channel that I shared with.... Hmmmm Maybe next time make the effort to actually switch up your verbal just a bit?

[@lisaaromano1]

You are not alone...they are good at what they do...

[@TabithaJane]

@@joshuafalade4754 Dude, seriously? You re the third person in two days to site the same schpiel verbatim. Get a new line cause you are not any better; just out there looking for victims you can sucker. Think you all ought to find a new source to feed off of. Just saying... This chick isn't buying any of your crap

[@laurenm9563]

It's okay I did too.

[@wendellignatin1228]

money is a weapon for the narcissist. It is something they can lord over you. My mother used to do this. She used to buy me things only so she could use it against me later. money gives them the superiority that they want/need. my uncle used to do this too. He would take us out for dinner and spend money on us. And there were always strings attached. It was an effective way to "buy love."

[@happygilmore3706]

Nail on the head... you pinned the tail on the donkey. Play stupid. Catch me if you can. Make tons of money but gave up a career. Nearly ever single one. Great video. Be careful out there.

[@wendellignatin1228]

that is exactly right. my mother got out of paying child support by saying that she didn't have any money. Nevermind she made twice as much as my dad did.

[@wendellignatin1228]

that is very profound and helpful. Thank you for sharing that with me!

[@the_essential_pastiche]

“They find a way to keep you on the unemployment line … they get you to rely on them …” yup. Learned the VERY hard way.

[@JCcreates927]

He always says “our money” but he really means “his” money.

[@annagjoni2382]

The same thing to me.😳

[@heatheroreilly1050]

Same,

[@intothewoods116]

I'm divorcing a narcissist, but he's my dad. Going no contact. Thank you for all the good info!

[@assistantregionalmanager2076]

I interpreted this super wrong 🤣🤣😂

[@echo2064]

Were you in the fb group about narcissists?

[@echo2064]

@@assistantregionalmanager2076 there's really nothing funny about that.

[@assistantregionalmanager2076]

ZzechozZ well it was funny because I thought she said she was married to her dad, how about you lighten up

[@rachelvoss5519]

I wish I could go no contact, but my ex and I have a beautiful 12 year son together.

[@prisonwife4lifestyle]

He actually told me the other day "you never buy me anything expensive, you just buy me cheep stuff" he made me feel so bad when he never even buys me anything doesn't pay for anything. My sister turned me on to a few words yesterday when I finally confessed to my first person ever that I'm bring emotionally abused . Grey rock, narssasistic emotional abuse, gas lighting. I had never heard any of this before. And your video is like the seventh I've watche. i feel like my eyes have been opened and I'm in shock at how right on you are about every little thing. Every thing. I'm so glad I found your videos 💖

[@mrs.m.9226]

Are you legit a prison wife?

[@samanthalee9386]

@prisonwife....RiGhT?!!? This was exactly how I felt once I found Lisa's videos just this week. Now I CANT STOP WATCHING THEM!! I mean, her videos seriously, really do open up my eyes to a whole lot. It's just so reassuring, ENTIRELY, for me to hear someone validate what I have been feeling and the sh** I've been going thru and how I've been living like-for the last 11 years of my relationship! ....Wow. I cant Thank You enough, Lisa, for all your videos, every single one. I can LEGiT, imagine you are touching alot of ppl out here with your talks. VERY MEANINGFUL! :) Thank you.

[@prisonwife4lifestyle]

@@mrs.m.9226 not sure if I answered this yet but yes I am. And I wrote this comment about my X. not my current husband who is amazing loving giving good man. Lisa changed my life her videos help me change my life. I am beyond greatful. I am so happy now.

[@teachersusanute199]

He shamed me for every cent I spent on me or the kids .... 😡

[@liesbethdevries4986]

Yep. The passive aggression and shame and blame game were unreal while the narc was putting the groceries in the kitchen. The kids and me were walking on egg shells.

[@robinmurray5266]

I got in trouble for buying shampoo for my daughters and me. .99cent Suave 3 bottles? Also got in trouble for buying a $6. pair of sweat pants. I was 6mon pregnant and my clothes didn't fit. He made me take them back.

[@TheShalomsFamily]

Eeeish

[@rachelvoss5519]

Wow, thanks for the replies, ladies. Knowing that I am not alone in this is comforting and it's helping me heal. My ex would shame me over spending money at the grocery store. I did most of my shopping at Aldi, taking advantage of sales and coupons. It didn't matter. NOW I realize that no matter how hard I tried (and I did try so very hard) I would never have lived up to his "standards". But while I was going through this, all I felt was lonely and small, depressed, insignificant and unimportant. Although it has taken me some time to move on from victimhood to survivor (and even thriver) I am basking in relief because I don't have to deal with that man on a daily basis anymore!

[@teahousebakery5123]

Together for 7 yrs and married 3yrs. No wedding or ring. He keeps telling me to wait. Doesn’t want to invest in me. I want a divorce but don’t know how to go about it.

[@BellambiFredRoberts]

This is exactly my ex. His mother used to remind me of how lucky I was to be married to her son and the lifestyle his family was able to afford me.

[@asperp5874]

Same..

[@carolynpalmer9549]

Yes 🤦

[@heatheroreilly1050]

Same

[@blueblaze9862]

Being w a narcissist can make a person a narcissist

[@LonjeMarie7]

Only if you allow it to my dear.

[@LSMH528Hz]

Such is the power of the dark side

[@LeafsIn2025]

Huh?! That's not quite how it works especially after childhood. Just ask Dr. Ramani, Dr. Les Carter, Dr. Carmen Bryant and then ask someone who REALLY knows - The Ultra, H.G. Tudor!

[@caramelbutter8199]

I think you get hurt by narc that you thought you will become a narc. Nope it just temporary reaction of being hurt and want to revenge.

[@blueblaze9862]

@LonjeMarie7 It happened to me I started to doubt all my intentions w ppl

[@Followthesuntarot]

Omg, I went through financial abuse for decades. When I finally escaped my husband, i left with $100 to my name because he controlled everything. My family abandoned me because they hated him, I am now trying to rebuild my life after 29 years of marriage.

[@ozzyfur8307]

How are you coping now? Hope you’re alright?

[@lanam1636]

I believe in you , you got this 💯🦋 we're all in this together

[@user-ds4xc4hv1d]

Put your paycheck in the joint account so the narcissist can take another vacation while YOU stay home and work, it's their money.

[@lemurianchick]

Here's the deal: if that scenario comes up, how can the "victim" justify allowing it? I am on here challenging people because while I know this happens, what is going through the mind of the person who is working while their partner is in the Bahamas? I assume that the people allowing this have a normal intelligence, are functional because they are holding a job and yet they are allowing themselves to clearly be taken advantage of. There is no excuse for this. This is not about loving that person. *You cannot truly love another person if you do not love yourself.* This is about very low self-esteem. And I am not trying to put down anyone with low self-esteem but simply pointing fingers at the narc isn't enough. It's looking at what caused you to consent to that madness.

[@user-ds4xc4hv1d]

@@lemurianchick The trips are hunting and fishing, in which I have no interest in, he is retired. With a true narc everything is "theirs" you're dealing with a 3 year old mentality. 16 years ago I set-up my bank and investment accounts and transfer funds into the joint account for household bills, he hated that. Nothing pisses them off more then money they can't get to. The vacation's he take's are "self serving" boys trips, mine are beach trip's to Costa Rica and such. He's in poor health and will probably expire within 5 years. Karma

[@keventy6114]

@@lemurianchick You're right in some things and wrong in others, in my opinion. People with empathy and capable of love want to do for others. That's what narcissists use to exploit others. It's hope of love being reciprocated that keeps the non-narc working while narc is at vacation. Before that point, the non-narc was love-bombed so they mistakenly believe that reciprocity is possible. If you don't - or didn't - know about real life narcissists, their tactics work very well.

[@patriciawhite9509]

@@lemurianchick these narcissists are demons you do not have to consent to anything they do to you, but you have the power to end their abus, by going NO CONTACT, make a plan and exit that kind of relationship. They are demons first and foremost remember that. It is usually after the fact being with them that you get a rude awakening, asking yourself WHAT HAPPENED HERE???

[@AM-mi9jd]

My narcissistic was very giving with money. Until the end when had too many people to finance and when he was ready to discard me.

[@jo-annahicks3324]

Giving with money? Or liked to splash it around to impress people?

[@limitlesspossibilities444]

Exactly, trying to keep up appearances with too many people...making out they are top earners and not the irresponsible wastemen they really are... causing arguments to disappear to try to impress unknowing victims who they sexually assault before apologising the next day...wrongens...lie to police until presented with CCTV footage. Lie to their mates and family who are thick enough to fall for their BS instead of believing the abusers victims.....

[@pmf026]

This is exactly what happened to me and how I lost everything I had and end up hostage about losing my only home

[@tanyagamble3432]

This is so deep , it’s sad when you have to act broke because this thing can’t rest if you have any .

[@robinmurray5266]

Yep. Once you've been married or lived with one you'll NEVER trust one again. Got so bad once I had to hide $ under the cats litter box ( he wouldn't go near that) because he'd steal the last $5 outta my purse. I hate him to this day but know for a fact KARMA is bitting him in the ass.

[@lovewhitey2027]

Brilliant ✍🏻🤣

[@wendyhandley9463]

More on this subject please this is how they blackmail us empaths, with financial ruin. Thanks lisa

[@heidijohnes4277]

One that you didn't mention...The Martyr: my ex-husband forced me to be in charge of the bills and finances so he could fight with me over every penny spent and blame me for us being behind when I literally performed miracles to keep things from getting turned off. It was a constant battle and he hated me for controlling the money, but when I begged him to take over the finances, he refused. He LOVED fighting with me over money!!!

[@marieprestlien28]

I was given the checkbook, paystub and Bill's before we were married. It was up to me to figure out how to pay the bills with barely enough money for decades. If there was money and he knew about it, he spent it. He made decisions about large financial matters without consulting me. After I left, he lied through his teeth and smeared me. In his monologue I misappropriated, mishandled or just stole his money. He was chronically under-employed and now he denies me access to the marital assets.

[@amyville29]

My husband does the same thing. Every week where did my money go? He doesn't want me to work and then he throws it in my face that he pays for everything. When I do work I get accused of cheating constantly

[@lightoflife6593]

Amy Pace: That’s exactly what my husband did to me. I just couldn’t take the emotional stress anymore!

[@julia7711]

Holy heck, my partner does that, he says he cant do the finances so i take over and yes, have to perform miracles to fix the mess, then he puts me in the position of having to fight with him about ridiculous things he wants to do. Then he blows up, and goes on about how i take all his money and dont let him have any. So i turn his finances back iver to him because its ridiculous, he screws it again, then begs me to take over the finances again. Its exactly the same game his mom and dad play, all the money goes to her, he martyrs himself asking for pocket money, he gets turned down, they fight, but he refuses to take responsibility for his own finances

[@jenniferparks5901]

Yeeeees! I went through this!!!!! Ugh!

[@teresafraser3049]

When i left my narcassistic husband over 35 years ago i decided to not take anything .....I walked away from my share of the condo....all furnishings....houseware...along with my legal rights to recieve half his pension. I wanted absolutely nothing that tethered me to him in materialism and energetically....i even left all our photographs as well. I saved my soul the day i walked away and never looked back.... I went zero contact and left family members that were still in his life. I notified my Boss at work that if she spotted him coming into the work place to immediately notify the police which worked beautifully. I pulled away from my mother whos a narc as well which was a game changer for my sanity. I went for therapy to heal my wounds and three years later i met the love of my life and still going strong.

[@jacquelinejones4230]

I believe my son is like this. He doesn't pay rent. But he eats out every day. He used mine credit cards and never pay it back. And than he talks down to me. I had to file bankruptcy because I co-signed for him. I asked why won't he pay his car note. He said he never wanted that car anyway. I am moving in with mine sister. Lets see if he will pay his bills now. Or be homeless. Good luck son. Its time to gown up. 35 yrs old . No more signing for anyone. Ok got it off my chest..

[@rachelpaul28]

Sorry to hear. You sacrificed as a parent and this is what he does. The world will teach him a lesson. And God will help you get back in track

[@susanaskew1856]

Good for you.

[@wildhorses6817]

Oh, Don't forget all of the Money, Travel and Expenses with Affair Partners. Hotels are expensive !!! And, gifts, etc etc etc

[@emilyearl1858]

I bought myself a pair of shoes and a jacket too close to his birthday. 3 years ago. That’s why I can’t be trusted with money and never got finances combined. Never knew how much he made. I paid for everything. I’m sickened by the abuse I endured! Thank you for your work and experiences to help us.

[@michelled2729]

Sums up my family and ex husband...life 2.0 with my kids is such a Joy!

[@teresafraser3049]

I have three narcassistic siblings along with my mother who all cried the blues about not having any money.... They are ALL WEALTHY TODAY! They played the victom card and cant believe how many people fed into their scam an actually support them financially...emotionally and physically !!!

[@kristina7542]

I’ve dealt with a narcissist father my mom left he abused her financially purposely destroyed her credit my one of ex’s had multiple narcissist abusers in his family I had to remove myself from they were way too toxic for me to handle they threw all my belongings in the trash to rot and ruin my other ex really fooled I got engaged to his mom and him threw all my stuff away with no warning also illegally that pos tried to murder me so thank you for your videos are helpful helping me unlearn abusive family traits I inherited from my abusers and am still trying to recover from it all so thank you for your healing wisdom truly life saving

[@shuddap_]

You described my mother completely. She has kept me debt throughout my life.

[@lemurianchick]

When you are an adult, you CHOOSE to allow her to keep you under her control.

[@lemurianchick]

@@annbelmonti3737 Are you addressing me? I have dealt with it up to a point. But when I realized that there were strings attached to the money, I stopped accepting it. I actually knew better for years but allowed myself to do it again thinking things were different. What a strange response. The point is that I understand narcisssistic abuse but the statement that someone is keeping you indebted is silly. You are not a child anymore. You are an adult and are not helpless. At the very least phrase it: "For some reason I still ALLOW my mother to keep me indebted to her financially." That would be more honest and more empowering in the long run than acting helpless to someone else's actions.

[@shuddap_]

When you grow up with chronic npd person in India, especially not realising that you are being abused at all levels and when the society promotes it, the advice what you have given is neither applicable nor empowering.

[@lemurianchick]

Ann Belmonti If you write off the hope of an inheritance then you’re not under their thumb. Why would someone take their life regarding a parent and money? You stop dealing with the narc and move on with your life. Unfortunately too many people have an attachment to money. Your well-being is worth more than a treasure trove. I understand your support for the other person on here. That is kind of you. The problem is the pessimism. We can’t change these people. I have lived through this myself. It’s very painful to discover that a parent you thought cared about you was really just trying to maintain control. In my case, when this narc gave me a gift last year, it was the first time I was repelled at the idea. I hoped this year I wouldn’t get anything and I didn’t. I feel like I have turned a page in this situation from being happy for the money to not wanting a penny. I want people to understand that you don’t have to live under a cloud. You can be happy and whole. It starts with you and not continuing to see yourself as a victim.

[@louniece1650]

@@lemurianchick If only it were as simplistic as that. If only. smfh

[@jennifernewell9846]

Ok, hands down, this is the best video EVER on narcs. I had to stop, it, process, and restart. Thank you Lisa Romano. Terrifying at first, until.....we process, which....takes a couple days. Just, thank you!!!!

[@lucretiz]

My BPD mom claimed she couldn't buy any of us Christmas gifts. She would always get into a huge fight with us right before our birthdays.

[@adriannahumphrey379]

Wow so sad I have never had birthday parties growing up or Xmas gifts Never made to feel special that's was too much for her if it wasn't about her then she didn't care.

[@lucretiz]

@@adriannahumphrey379 wasn't it awful? I am sorry you had that experience. How this trauma manifested in my adult life is I became a chronic gift giver and used gifts and money to get validation from others it was pathetic and people could see right through it.

[@lyrah6360]

You do not want gifts from a narcissist.

[@andersb5007]

This is a classic tactic. Narc parent will start a fight to get out taking responsibility for money or their fair share of anything. They will even launch a preemptive strike! To shut down any possibility of breaching the topic with them. They will blame me for the conflict they started, and use it as a reason to not pay their fair share or take responsibility for their financial troubles.

[@Lauren-zt8dc]

That's awful 😞 narc ruin every birthday and holiday, keeping your head up and surviving is the real gift self reliance no one can take from you. Gifts from narcs always come with a price. I feel for your story 😢💓

[@julierichmond4975]

This is so true!! My mother is a narcissist and my ex-husband is a narcissist! They both have always been extremely controlling with money and belittling..... Then they team up on me to make me feel like crap about myself.... My ex played all of these games!!

[@gwendolynjo71]

same 😪 hardest thing in life is a narcissistic mother.

[@purpleiguana208]

Something my FIL has done on more than one occasion was talk to my husband and I about a trip he took or whatever, and then say to hubby, "I'm spending all your inheritance." Like a little carrot tied to the end of a stick or whatever. He stopped doing it after hubby and I were like, "That's not an inheritance, that's your money. You can spend your money on whatever you want." When we weren't acting all worried about losing out on his money, he stopped dangling that carrot.

[@yolemmarieyoka6451]

My ex made 3 times what I made but always expected me to help him with some money... Whenever I did not, he became distant and gave me the Silent Treatment... He would even give away iPhone 10s to some of his friends and family members, but always played “Broke” with Me and made sure to get Me some of the cheapest gifts... One day he took me to a car dealership to co-sign for a new Mercedes, when I said “No”, he broke up with me and went to all of our mutual friends to smear my name and talk about “how much money my family had, but I was too stingy to help him buy a simple car”...

[@yannina125]

I have my ex owing me money, I literally paid for us 2 for last year, he is working but says he hasn’t been paid, now 9 weeks I’m listening to I will have it tomorrow! Draining. Everyone says move on forget the money. I’m angry over this. I’ve helped him so much & now I’m in debt. Not sure whether to fight it or leave it. But I don’t want him to get away with it. Want to make sure I get revenge, so close to post posters in his town to warn women - I don’t want any woman to go through this nonsense!

[@yannina125]

My birthday present flowers and a cheap card! Because he had no money! Owes me so much, how do I get over the anger?

[@mallorieblair]

@@yannina125 i tried to make mine pay for all hes costed me and im still trying to get it back from him... he will never be able to pay me back at this point. Wish I would have left a LONG time ago.

[@guscelina]

OMG this has been my life ... from day 1 of our marriage everything I had was "ours", but everything he had was/is "his". I see the sabotage now, I have had a separate account for the last 10 years. Finally I am piecing it all together. Thank you, Lisa, for confirming and validating what I knew was wrong but had no "outside" influence.

[@lisaaromano1]

Be sure to seek your own independence on all levels.

[@jenrich111]

Look at your parents. If they were manipulative, then we are more likely not to see a partner who is a narc as it feels familiar. So ya gotta look realistically at one's parents first and see what damage has been done to our radar. I like having a great relationship with myself and trusting myself not to lie cheat and steal from me. Trusting yourself comes 1st. You know like sticking to your budget, achieving your goals, and not having crazy addictions. Always put yourself 1st. Take care of yourself properly. Don't rush in to a fantasy with some random. Let the crazy ones pass on by. If you don't have desperate vibes, most of the losers won't be buzzing around. We want quality not quantity. I think a person should avoid getting their heart broken. Hold back and watch behaviour and what they say. I would HATE to be paying off someone else's debt grrr! Great Video 🎯🎯🎯

[@kelley0404]

So very true. Take steps to learn why you trusted their pathetic excuses in the first place. You take care of you..honor, obey and respect yourself. Stand firm on your boundaries. And absolutely don’t look desperate. It takes time to figure out how to love yourself again after the trauma. Thanks to you Lisa!

[@MultiSUNFLOWER18]

Perfectly said! 🙂

[@ericawallin6972]

OMG! What you mentioned has been my life for 20 years of marriage! My husband got me to put a downpayment on a timeshare twice, he has placed us in bankruptcy and took over $100K out of our equity to put into an investment and didn't tell me until I found the notary on my doorstep. He has taken my bonus twice and spends on all his activities; surf boards, golf club/merchandise. Once has he bought me jewelry and its never what I ask for. He was negligent our 2nd on the mortgage and our house was put on a lien. He convinced me to liquidate my 401K to finance our IVF which he never wanted another child. He asked my parents for 10K only to find he is spending it on golfing and golf merchandise. He has control of all finances like you said but I've gained access to see everything now. I'm now planning the divorce and strategizing, trying to be one step ahead of him. I'm done!

[@bernardliving19]

Very interesting topic Lisa, I would love to hear a video on Financial abuse from Narcissistic parents and siblings. I have a narcissistic mother who while she rejected me as a child since I was the unwanted child. I tried my best to provide for her, built homes which were supposed to be in both her and my name only to find out later that she put them in her sole name, She was able to do this because I lived in a different country than her. Besides no matter how much money I sent her it was never enough. Then the siblings were also always looking to me to bail them out and as soon as I started saying no, well I was no longer their family. I am so glad that I recently found out about the Narcissists because it has opened my eyes to so much. Now I understand better what I had been living all these years.

[@ksize3147]

OH MY WORD! YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. Financial exploitation absolutely!

[@SandeepSinghCreator]

My mother is like this And my sibling is worst. I don't like to eat their food. It's a vibrational poison to Even stay in with them.

[@rozgomes5537]

Mine is the opposite he wants to control everything with money it makes him feel empowered.

[@cecilycornishphdleadership9658]

So on point! I found out early that my narcissist mother wanted me to save my brother and sisters, nephews, and nieces, in my late 30's. She always was telling me to help them, and had excuses for them. When I found out, it was to make her look powerful and in control of the family, and that she was grooming me to be codependent ,empathetic, and placing false burdens on me, I left the state after raising my sister's three children. Then the baby mamas' wanted me to raise the great nieces and nephews, I ran for my life. The reality is to know your "personality" and to know your vulnerabilities.

[@rick3747]

My goodness Lisa! My "father" puposely got my late mother pregnate with me in 1966. Didn't marry her due to my birth was his ticket to avoid Vietnam Draft. Then in 1970 he married my late mother in a quickie marriage in MD. Again....he did this to avoid the Vietnam Draft. Then, my "father" treated my mother like a slave. In 1973, he did zero when I was repeatedly raped by a neighbor except move us in the middle of the year one mile away. No police, no therapy.....no nothing....and his sister was a psychologist with a huge practice back then so help was easy to find. Jump ahead.....then in 1980, my "father" did numerous things to prevent my mother from getting her drivers license/freedom....ever.... She got a part time job in 1984(I had to drive her) and by 1989 my "father" kicked my mother out. Two days after the divorce decree, he finally update his circa 1976 home.....never had money before....He immed moved all his assets to my aunt after kicking my mother out in 1989. He gave my mother $8,000 in a divorce. $8,000 when in 1989 he had $225k 401k, $167k savings, $134k house paid in full. My mother took the high road in 1989 after being kicked out, I took her to the bank but she refused to touch the $167k in their joint account. She said to me "if I touch anything he will kill me." Today, at 74y, he has zero debt, $890k in his 401k, two houses paid off, $49k yearly in pension, social secuity. Tells everyone I will inherit all but he has a zero will or trust. He wants me to kiss his......for inheritance and fight my brother in probate. I will not do neither!

[@flyprincess69]

There was no “our” in my marriage. My house, my money...

[@laurendaniels4767]

That’s exactly what I’m dealing with and I’m trying to get out

[@chelsieparrish9299]

@@laurendaniels4767 I'm to leave soon because of this. It's Just not worth it. You got this!

[@garybigie3178]

Exactly.

[@Babsza]

All Me , My , Mine Never Us , We , Ours !

[@lightoflife6593]

When I first started dating my now husband, he had nothing to offer me. He was BROKE although he made more money than me. I always had money because I managed it well. We later married and when he started to make more money, he convinced me to quit my job although I didn’t really want to (when I wanted to get another job - He’d threaten to leave me) That was when he started making comments such as “you need to thank God for me”. Anyways, later when I figured out that his/our income wasn’t adding up, I started to question where the money was going. I realized that he was lying and hiding so much from me. This is when he started to keep me from seeing the incoming/outgoing transactions. After many arguments he later told me that was HIS MONEY - Not ours. I’m sorry but if my husband refuses to treat me as his equal, I will simply remove myself from the situation. Btw, the majority of what she has described in this video describes my husband almost Exactly!

[@MH-cv5ye]

I've witnessed and experienced these abuses. property fraud, financial abuses, etc. These soulless punks are beyond sick. They're evil.

[@goodintentions1302]

My ex had the audacity to say right out loud "my money is my money, your money is our money." Never mind that his income was triple of mine and I had always paid my own way. Lesson learned. Glad to have him controlling someone else now even though I'd have warned her if I could.

[@zalix512]

They also won’t share Information.

[@MaileyMcAslan]

What I really love is when my mother makes a big show of “I’m going to buy you something,” like a house or an a/c system in the garage for my workspace, she gets lots of people involved, investigations, tours, consultations, then it just goes nowhere and you know not to ask about it and that you’re supposed to wonder what you did wrong to lose the big shabang. It’s just a big mindfk and also designed to make you feel embarrassed for and alienated from the people she didn’t hire or buy from in a very small town.

[@nuriasanzgarcia5119]

Spot on. Mine promised me to pay me back two years ago, up to date I have not seen a euro back. He usually got mad when I demanded that he returned my money, and often would say " why do you always make me angry ? why do you always make it an issue to help me" ? .. Excuse me? wait what? hahah, yes. I also learned the hard way.

[@katalinmcewan]

Mine played the poor card so well! I totally bought into it for the first year and a half. And literally did everything you mentioned for him. He was totally believable. He is super covert. His mother still hasn’t figured out his game. I can also relate to many of the other mind games you mentioned.

[@briannagruber4310]

Really needed this video today. Narcissistic mother with so many money issues and using the issues against me.

[@lisaaromano1]

I am so happy you are here!

[@nikoleb8376]

Thank you for this you have me in tears right now I’m sitting next to him now😢

[@cyndiglaser1289]

Omg... this is my story! You are exactly on point from the quick deed to the credit cards to the tax return. Thank you for sharing! I greatly appreciate you and all your help!

[@amethystmari3t]

Reminds me of my ex. He wanted us to live in a loft apartment downtown that I ended up having to pay for while he threw temper tantrums about me working so much and not giving him enough attention. Then when he finally got a job that he felt happy with the salary, he acted like I was trying to steal from him by asking him to pay his half of the groceries, rent and bills. That's just one mistake that I made in relationships. I've stayed single for the past few years now because I'm trying to heal enough so that I stop accepting those patterns in my life.

[@lightoflife6593]

Marissa Clark: Wow - Sounds like my story. Are you sure you aren’t talking about Mr Epperley? Lol 😂

[@deehyatt5173]

Wow .. the more I read every ones stories I just cry and cry my heart out.. listening to her & reading comments. My ‘husband’ made me lose an awesome pt job that I loved and it’s ONLY because he LOVES ME AND WANTS TO BE WITH ME..spend all his time with me.💔😭😫 - I couldn’t give him enough TIME/ATTENTION working an entire six hours a day🥺😖💔😫😭.. I know I have to let him go, it’s just so hard right now

[@lightoflife6593]

Dayle Maldonado: My heart goes out to you. My husband asked me to leave my job as well and then treated as if I was a nobody to him. Prayers to you.. Stay strong.

[@amethystmari3t]

@LightOfLife @Dayle Maldonado I'm sorry that you had to experience this also

[@cinzgirl]

Omg I am living this nightmare. To make it worse I just lost my job and the guilt trips are relentless. I'm treated like a child. The control and power now that I "need" him. I'm trying to rise above this and know that I can get through this... 💪

[@Dannniellleee]

My narcissistic family taught me to attract other narcissists. I’ve experienced these things personally or seen all of them done to others- the house, convincing others to give up jobs, controlling money, wage theft- you name it. It’s disgusting. They actually try to persuade their victims to destroy their lives. Nothing is too valuable to destroy when they want to achieve their goal. Get away!! 🙏🏽 The worst ones can only save themselves, if it ever happens - you sticking near them only enables the bulls**t.

[@jo-annahicks3324]

That sentence..."They actually try to persuade their victims to destroy their lives".....Wisdom Gold!

[@librameg9050]

Thank you for this eye opener. My friend, he loan me some money, I gave it back to him next 3 months; he then borrowed money from me, took forever to return so I asked for it- he was angry when he returned it to me, talking about trust. A few months after, not hearing from him, when he did contact me he said, “ if I did not give him back the loan he gave me, we’ll still be good. Lisa, I see now that he was and is a narcissist.

[@allthings7154]

Omg everything she says describes my mother! She would get her hair done every two weeks, but when I got mine done once every two months, I was wasting my money. Lost everything, she is trying to keep me unemployed and dependent upon her but that won't happen.

[@annbelmonti3737]

Wow. Thanks for the reminder. 🧩🔥❤️🎁🎯 Eyes open and intuition engaged in 2020. Let’s do this people...

[@cindykaye3152]

I lived every single one of those, including the tax issues, during the "marriage" & now, still dealing with it during the divorce. I am going to be much more attentive about what he tries to pull now!!

[@lynnvs6372]

Mine doesnt pay taxes. He let our house go in foreclosure 3x. I'd give him money.. he wouldnt pay it. I had no choice but to separate my finances and take care of business

[@gigichica]

This guy tried to live off of me, even though he had his own $$. I ran from him

[@amandacausey9450]

It’s telling when they project onto you what they are doing and feeling

[@mohamedamra9471]

All i have to say is thank you for helping me understand what has been happening all my life. I am 59 years old and all these things on the video happened over and over with with 3 relationships. It is uncanny how it makes so much sense!!!!

[@passionateherbs8183]

My mother has always wanted control of my money! I'm decades older than 21. She has never had control of my money and I've been no contact for close to 4 years... that's when I learned she was a narc and once I became educated on all this it's very clear to me she has NPD. It's bizarre and 💔.

[@julia7711]

Yup, seen that happen to people, wants the control smh

[@lisaaromano1]

Wow, I hope you are gaining your freedom....xoxox

[@ATeaNTea]

Enjoy the freedom some of us dont get to work or keep salaries cause we have to be presidental lmbo

[@alexasweatt8857]

Yep. Strings attached, always!

[@kathiewippel7551]

They’ll pull the “let’s combine resources “ card. This usually happens when they want someone to pay their way. Be aware when a narc starts suggesting roommates or an open relationship. Do not ever give them access to financial information.

[@yv6265]

This video hit the nail on the head! My soon to be Ex met multiple points mentioned in this video. It’s so sad I hadn’t figured it out until the financial damage was done. I’ve accepted it as lesson learned & am currently rebuilding my life, but with peace of mind that he is no longer around. Now I prepare for the games to come with the upcoming divorce. Thank you for all the great information and education!