The Narcissists' Code: Episode 25- What Rock bottom might look like for a narcissist. My Story

[@lashaunnedubose7775]

You were meant to do this and the more you do to get better the more you’re going to be able to help others. Praying for your strength to fight.

[@MentalHealness]

Thank you

[@chrisharris2367]

Amen God is using him God's hand is on him and his family They will continue to prosper his videos have helped me to understand my narc husband

[@irenageorgieva8011]

@@chrisharris2367 Amen!

[@SoulPhotog]

🌹♥️ Check out tarot readers, especially Baba Jolie… they have more answers for you… 🌹♥️

[@Mrthnacnqr2024]

@@MentalHealness Hola Lee Hammock can you give me info about the recovery groups you joined. My husband is not a diagnosed narc but has all the traits of one and i would like to direct him to a few of the groups eventually wen we talk bc i went no contact if he wants to do the work and save our marriage. Im done dealing with this man and moving on but im open to the idea of reconciliation only and if hes willing to put in the work and hv to see some kind of change b4 that happens. Thank you!

[@wanderingfree149]

I think the older a narc gets, the worse they get. Their looks fade, their charm gets stupid, they just lose their game and thus they implode.

[@kimwilliams4951]

Amen!

[@Karlien68]

@@AxllsFly Even if they have an official diagnose as autistic....a professional is mislead by the narc. Especially the vulnerable introverted sensitive narc is misdiagnosed as autistic. If they manipulate and lie their ass off....they have NPD, not ASD...

[@marvinkennedy725]

Absolutely!!!

[@tinadraper9143]

My ex looks like he aged 20 years since I left 18 months ago

[@kristinak2069]

@@AxllsFly people with asbergers don’t lie. That’s the difference

[@ah8694]

Alot of narcissists get to a point where all of the people who made their life positive no longer want anything to do with them at all - ever

[@georgeperez4685]

Well said

[@bms2010]

Is that a fact?

[@adaytripp]

That was me!

[@tootienottoofruitie1726]

AH... does not matter to the narc who leaves them, you better believe they have their supply

[@Mimi-xv6jm]

@@tootienottoofruitie1726 yea, that fact makes it even more attractive to leave them to their supplies.

[@cherisew]

They say narcissist don’t want to change. I applaud you for seeking help and speaking out about it. It’s refreshing to get the perspective of a narcissist who wants to help us understand . It’s rare.

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@robdieseldiesel8960]

Amen!

[@LadyBlueRR]

I believe narcissistic people, like with ANY mental and or personality disorders, are in denial. They look at everyone else as the problems. NO ONE wants to be that "crazy" person and not "normal". When you are truly self aware then that's when the healing can begin

[@tajahartley4596]

Usually they don’t but this man is a Diamond in the rough and I applaud him too. Most don’t want to change because they don’t want to believe that anything is wrong how they are and usually when you drag them to therapy they fool the therapist because they Charm them with no intentions of changing is all manipulation so when you come out of therapy you feel like is you and not them and I just have to give it up to this man for a really wanting the change.

[@lisagrewing2729]

You are amazing!!

[@OliviaOsueke]

"They can't hit rock bottom if you are still standing there holding them up." WHhooooo! My God. Thank you for doing what you do!

[@MentalHealness]

Thank you

[@dianevanderlinden3480]

I so wish people would stop 'saving' this guy I know before it's too late for him. In some cases it can be too late for certain things. He needs to hit bottom so he has to rely on his own resources.

[@lindafreda9695]

Very powerful statement Lee. Everything I've ever questioned in my 30 year marriage is now crystal clear. Time for action to heal me now and stop holding him up.

[@yvonnehill4854]

Exactly, happy for Lee working on himself and helping others

[@laylakhan5180]

I’ve gone no contact, really really struggling, I’ve not been hovered and I want answer I’ve become so depressed,

[@michellepowell3020]

I don't trust anybody that put me down to pick me back up.

[@tional5266]

You should always pick yourself back up

[@CeeCeeOnIt87]

This a whole word!!!

[@geraldfriend256]

Boom

[@howyduinyall7653]

Well put!

[@skyflowerz]

Exactly.

[@BpdRecoveryTings]

I just lost my girlfriend and realized it 100% could’ve been prevented if I just allowed her to be herself and free. I controlled, emotionally, and mentally manipulated her throughout the relationship. I want to change myself and be better. Thank you for your honesty and sharing your story.

[@Amero2323]

Hey buddy, same thing happened to me about 5 years ago...we had been together 8 years. I didn't see this in myself until recently, and I'm hoping now I can START to deal with losing the person that allowed me to pretend to live a normal life. It'll get worse if you don't address it. That's awesome that you've seen it so early

[@luigginapaola]

Big hug for you guys that recognized these things in yourself. I feel emotional reading you, we all have things to work on, and seeing someone overcoming his ego and recognizing where they have to work on is amazing. Give yourself recognition for that! I left a man I love very much because of his abuse and gaslighting. I hope one day he realize it, I pray for it.

[@tummieflowers2681]

@@luigginapaola . I wouldn’t feel sorry for any narcissist if I were you. They deserve every emotional pain and suffering they get from their repercussions.

[@nicoleclavel5836]

I’m glad you’re aware of yourself and want to change. It takes some people years and years to even admit that out loud

[@Joy-di1tc]

@@nicoleclavel5836 so proud of him i left my fiance 23 days ago and he already moved on

[@gibmodinero8101]

My wife is a covert Narc and ghosted me after I forgave her for cheating on me. That ghosting was a blessing in disguise as protection from God.

[@MentalHealness]

God works in mysterious ways

[@dolcesweet5173]

How did you recover may I ask? and how long did it take? My past partner did exactly this. The cheating/ghosting combo still has me hurt

[@gibmodinero8101]

@@dolcesweet5173 that's a good question and to be honest with you I'm still recovering. It's been 8 months and some days are better than others. It's weird because ALL physical healing has a dedicated time frame for healing depending on genetics and the body but emotional healing is different, there is no time-frame. I'm a Christian so my faith has helped me alot with the healing process. I also see a Christian counselor who helps me navigate the pain during the process. I would say one thing that helps is perspective. Don't focus on the other person and what they did to you. Don't focus on what could've been. The sooner you let that past die, you can walk into a great future that is ahead. I spend my mornings in prayer and ask the Lord with help for the day. You have to focus on ONE DAY at a time, and you'll start to chip away at the pain. Also, try as hard as it may be to do something different. Sitting in isolation and pain is a breeding ground for depression. I found another channel that is Christian focused on the NARC that helps called "The Royal We." Start by reading Psalm 25 and focus on YOURSELF. Love Yourself as you want others to LOVE you and you will be immensely blessed. But just take it daily, find a friend to confide in on those hard days, and pray for yourself and ask for God's help. He's only a breath away. I hope that helps! Blessings!

[@LC_H]

That's a perfect answer my man! God bless you and stay encourage! (1 Peter 4:12-13) "Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to TRY you, as though some STRANGE thing (random event, situation or circumstances) happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy."

[@gibmodinero8101]

@@LC_H thanks brother. Great scripture also!

[@wildsagediary1109]

“They can’t hit rock bottom if you’re still standing there holding them up.” YES I was in love with a narcissist but this fact made it easier to leave because I did genuinely love the person, I knew I had to leave so that he can understand the weight of his actions. That being said, idk how he’s doing right now but me leaving gave both of us our best chance.

[@lisalawtonlyons]

I can relate with you. I left after 18yrs of marriage. He finally cheated and that’s the only thing that would hv made me gv up and choose myself. He struggled with heavy drug addiction the last 12yrs of our marriage and felt if I and my children really gv up, he would too. After spending more time without him due to detox and rehab centers, and doing it all alone financially bcus the addiction wrecked that too, added with the threats of violence, then the cheating, it was time. Like you, hv no clue where he is. We still hv a 16yr old son at home, and I can’t believe a thing that comes out of that man’s mouth.

[@daughterphoenix]

Same. We were together for 4 years. He had three things: his job, his money, and me. It’s been eight months. I don’t think he’ll ever hit rock bottom so long as he has work to do.

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

❤❤🎉🎉🎉amen 😈🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[@Focus293]

@@daughterphoenix it doesn't hit the way you expect it to and as soon as you expect it. It will hit when the time is right and when you stop keeping up with events on their life.

[@12BY6]

So true

[@prettiestme4238]

"You cant hit rock bottom with someone holding you up". Powerful!!

[@MentalHealness]

💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

[@amberdiaz6366]

I have NPD tendencies. It’s learned behavior though. I’m separating from my family to work on it. My mother thinks I’m destined to live her life. She likes to “warn me” that it’s a family thing. It’s not. I have control over who I am, my behavior, and my emotions. It’ll probably piss her off when I prove her wrong. I’m going to do better.

[@geraldfriend256]

Good work

[@lvmcbryde6160]

@Amber Diaz - Yes! It is up to you to be your true self. You be you, don’t let anyone else define you.

[@roussanaargudin3175]

Just want to stop by and say I Am Proud Of You! Just because someone is a certain way doesn't mean you have to.. you are meant to shine..so shine brightly love!!!

[@elisa.maria0]

It's good to read this

[@curiositystoryer]

I agree that it's a "family thing" only in the sense where bad habits are generationally taught and passed down as to how to deal, or rather not deal, with emotions and pain. As a non-narcissist, I definitely see the patterns in my own family. Both sides act in pain and have been codependent. There will never be a valid excuse for the pain narcissists intentionally inflict, but I do fully-heartedly believe that both narcissists and non-narcissists can become healthy with time and effort. It takes time to rewire your brain to be aware of your natural tendencies and to reshape them. You are worth that effort and time. And by healing yourself, you'll be healing others or preventing further damage in ripple effects. Your progress will be felt by others, even if you don't ever know it. You got this!

[@ilovejoharai]

In such a way narcissists serve a good purpose. They have the ability to bring people closer to God. I haven't watched not one single Narc video where people are not in the comments mentioning how God freed them from that situation. To Him be all the glory💜

[@MentalHealness]

♥️🙌🏾

[@ladyb7327]

AMEN 🫂✝️🫂

[@jamiejohnson7606]

Mine went to church got baptized then ghosted and found him laying up with a former coworker so called friend amd to this day they still together

[@jamiejohnson7606]

Still no accountability but he'll cheat on her too and can't wait till karma gets him and her

[@VictoriaNakaraKizer]

Amen🙌🏽

[@thatgirl9541]

I am an empath and you are changing the world. Stay strong. Your channel is illuminating darkness. Message on point!!

[@MentalHealness]

I really appreciate it

[@annettedevries7559]

He,s amazing,

[@lanikiamccloud4227]

Been surrounded my whole life by them. SuperEmpath

[@lanikiamccloud4227]

Hold on love. Be strong. God is in control. I am tired of mean ass ppl on yt bullying me. I been off for days bc I am so upset these sick ass ppl murdering babies. Makin me puke. My love sent to you. I just need time to process wtf is going on. I love you love sent

[@pkp6791]

@@lanikiamccloud4227 me too. I have reached the point now where I simply wont admit any new people into my close personal circle. My peace is more precious than new friendships that risk me admitting a narcissist ( and all the potential emotional disruption and chaos that comes with it). I wish everyone well in life, but I would rather die alone than deal with another narcissist.

[@jacquelynallen488]

I get anxiety from flashbacks when I listen to the scenarios. But I also recognize that I lived thru an emotional war zone; AND I survived.

[@christianpulisic7784]

Jacquelyn Allen,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌷,hope you are not with a narc 😈!

[@Mo-wv6ou]

Yes, survived. The narc I just booted? His wife of 23yrs took her own life. After 6 months of his utter insanity I'm convinced that poor woman was psychologically murdered by 23 yrs of his horror. God grant her the peace she so desperately sought🙏

[@shayshay8348]

I’m a narcissist and I’m learning how to work through it to better myself so I have decided to go to therapy 😢

[@jaynesh2008]

How do you know you are. I was told a narcissist never admit it or even know it

[@kittylo15]

Glad you're working on yourself and you know you'll feel better yourself after you heal

[@lateishajones9898]

Do you have children???

[@eileenfuentes6975]

11 months later but I'm proud of you. How is it going?

[@eileenfuentes6975]

​@jaynesh2008 this channel is ran by a self aware diagnosed narcissist. NPD is on a spectrum and every person is different. No 2 are the same and anyone can become self aware about anything. There has to be a catalyst to make anyone want to improve or change.

[@danaparshall]

I am a self aware co dependent! I had to dive deep and see why I didn't have strong boundaries. We all need to be self aware...even healthy people!

[@jesslynncoachinghealing]

what did you discover?

[@empressmagneta]

THIS IS ME TOOOOO. One of my parental figures (not by blood) was extremely and is still extremely toxic and narc, my ex was a narc. I'm healing.

[@theliterarytarot]

Yes!

[@bookdownie625]

Yes they treat the one who loves & support them the worse,it's so hard to understand,I do everything & I'm treated like trash

[@MentalHealness]

Closer you are the worse it is

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

@@MentalHealness Because they feel they can get away with it at home behind closed doors

[@tomboydee3326]

Same here

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

@@pinnakal1Like a pressure valve. I think mine would sometimes pick arguments just to give himself an excuse to act out. He also used to mention that he was full of rage. I think I was supposed to feel guilty about that, but that was on him.

[@longislandny696]

That’s why I left my soon to be ex narcissist husband. I couldn’t take the emotional abuse no more.

[@googlespyfranchise9089]

I loved someone very deeply who was probably BPD with covert narc traits, he experienced psychotic breaks even, hallucinations. He was trying to heal. Sometimes he was very self aware, very kind, very loving, sometimes he was the total opposite. He didn’t want to keep me in it, but it was also so hard for us to be separate because the love was very deep. We were best friends. In the end it was too much for me, my subconscious needed to heal too, there’s only so much time and resources and if you hold your own life back for someone else it’s not right. As we became more separate I could feel how much my support has been preventing him from truly doing the healing he really needed to do. But blimey it was scary! I was so frightened he might not make it, or that he’d just get stuck in the trauma and madness forever. But that was the risk we both had to go through. I couldn’t do the healing for him, only he could choose to accept his pain and shame and work through it, only he could do that. I still love him, but I can’t deprive him of his opportunity to grow. I can’t deprive myself of the same either. So sad to have to say goodbye to people you love so much. But sometimes it’s the only way. We have to be brave. We all have to be brave and we all have to do our own healing, no one else can do it for us and we can’t do it for other people.

[@kanabeyondmeasure]

You just gave me insight into how my Step dad probably feels. As the daughter of a narcissistic mother I just wanted to leave and have no parts anymore because the nurturing parts I needed I spent time trying to earn and she continued to make me feel worthless. My step dad fears leaving my mom because he feels like she will be worse. I guess I never thought of it being a scary thing for someone because you fear they will self destruct. Thank you for your perspective.

[@freetobeme6013]

I have to hold any person who acknowledges that they have a problem *and* takes the necessary steps to fix it in the highest esteem. I pray for your continued success. God bless you, your wife and your family.

[@MentalHealness]

Thanks for sharing!

[@Violexie-wb7op]

Agreed!

[@mznaeture]

Rock bottom is essential to personal growth & self awareness cuz the ground ain't never lost a fight...

[@Laura-nl8df]

Never heard that before. 💯

[@Mizz_JON]

Best comment I've seen🔥

[@BROOK69BANKS]

Best thing I learned just leave a narc alone. It's easier and more rewarding to just love your self

[@MentalHealness]

✨✨

[@marvinasimswewinqueendom2543]

You’re certainly a rare case. It’s great to hear some narcs are willing to become self aware. You’re absolutely right that all it takes is to want to be a better person. All people need to remember is you can’t change anyone else. Love yourself enough to leave people who hurt you.

[@robertjohnson1499]

They have elevated their game with this narc awareness. The only person who can show them what love is is GOD but they think they are God right. God is not mocked. They will reap what they soe no matter what game they play

[@aanderson4511]

Simple: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

[@tootienottoofruitie1726]

He is telling us that they DO NOT CHANGE.... Got it❓

[@music_istherapy8860]

@@robertjohnson1499 Yes indeed

[@Timmibutterfly72]

FACTZ 💯 Self-Preservation

[@td2968]

Problem is a lot of narcissists who hit rock bottom....once things start looking up, they go right back to their old ways. Therapy most times make the narcissist worse, meaning makes them better narcissists.

[@spikestoyou]

Yeah I really truly don’t understand how this guy managed to do it. I guess we won’t know. We see what we’re meant to see when it comes to influencers/content creators.

[@Quantum36911]

You are one in a million... my parents both have NPD, so I thought that's how people are... all my relationships and friendships were with narcissists.... I had to go no contact with everyone in my life because I was dying. I begged all of them to please accept my love and love yourself as I do, I can feel your pain when you cannot, if you can feel the love I have for you, you will heal. They devoured me for everything I am. I realized I was a desperate co-dependent, an addict to a promise of love that was always just out of reach. Nothing I said made any difference. They all think I'm a terrible person, and I believed them. It has taken years of solitude to start to heal. Thank you for being someone with NPD who is able to heal themselves. I didn't think that exists.

[@thehouseofrah]

I am with you. Same exact experience. Be well.

[@Quantum36911]

@@thehouseofrah I can feel it in your words, we are One/Won/Now. Thank you for all you have endured, for keeping your light. Here is something that spoke to me, I think it's for you too, My New Rah! kzbin.info/www/bejne/b2q8fWRsdqygr9U

[@katiejackson1987]

@@Quantum36911 same

[@denyablanco2753]

Narcissists actually have difficulty facing themselves, their failures, their inabilities, their insecurities, their flaws, etc. If a Narcissist can ADMIT he's a narcissist, they may seek help, and I believe they have great capacity for change. My ex changed to a degree while we were together, but he is psychologically protecting himself with lies. He cannot face himself. He cannot face the fact that he is just a human being, just like everyone else. I think that he is constantly living in a state of fear. I don't think anyone could ever acuse a narcissist lacking self-awareness of being brave.

[@haleyelizabeth3053]

“What is your rock bottom?” I think this is a great question is for both the narcissist AND the victim.

[@tallyfriend9701]

My rock bottom, the day I was picked up by my arm with one hand with the other one drawn back with a fist and I went limp. I knew at that moment if I did not leave that I may not live to tell. It scared me enough to change and leave.

[@ericabraz1141]

As a victim, being shown to the word "narcissist" was when I was able to take my first step up and out. Understanding and knowledge is power. Amen.

[@khadijahshabazz7512]

That’s so eye opening… I always thought that NPD prevents narcissists from being able recognize it in themselves because they don’t have an accurate self perception. Now it seems more like they just don’t express their true self perception. My husband has said things that show me little peeks into how he really feels about himself and it’s completely opposite of what he projects. The only times he’s made any improvement in his behavior is when I’ve left him. I feel like his motivation to get me back is always ego driven so the changes are always temporary.

[@Lesrena7]

This is so true because this has been my experience

[@oceanlove853]

Mine too😢 twilight zone

[@CelebriToes]

Same here, I agree.

[@jefflittle8913]

" I always thought that NPD prevents narcissists from being able recognize it in themselves because they don’t have an accurate self perception." Why isn't a cocaine user able to recognize that using cocaine is harmful for someone with their personality type?

[@andreabobbette825]

@@jefflittle8913 I think thats a little different. People who ABUSE cocaine do recognize the problem. But recognizing that it may not be best for their personality type would just be trial and error. NP don't believe their behavior is wrong nor do they ever question it.

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

Dr. Ramani recently said in one of her podcasts that recent studies have now estimated that 1 out of every 3 people are high on the narcissist spectrum.

[@clauaome25]

Wow

[@kylaren6337]

I believe it. There are way more out here, specifically the coverts, than 1%.

[@jensmith9812]

Online Society is breeding them like crazy

[@katie8068]

That actually makes so much sense. Covert is high

[@expandhealthinc.1887]

I fucking knew it!!!! Been saying "1% of the population" was BULLSHIT!

[@tarey05]

Most who are called narcissists never look up the definition of the word nor do the research. You are a rare person, as you cared to look it up, LEARN, sought help, became self aware, and changed!! Again and unfortunately, most narcs are unlike you. Ur an inspiration!

[@MentalHealness]

Thank you 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@Gabichi888]

So agreed! I can’t thank him enough for all his input 💕

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

That's why I think he's been misdiagnosed.

[@wishingonthemoon1]

Your testimony is amazing. I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse (verbal, emotional, sexual, and physical abuse), and I’m sharing your testimony with my husband who is trying to be a self-aware narcissist. You’re so incredibly smart and kind for being so open and vulnerable. Thank you. God bless.

[@MentalHealness]

God bless you as well

[@dianezemliak5606]

Hearing your Testimony was sad but very necessary for you to FINE your truth..... and looks where finding your truth has taken you!! May God continue to bless you journey & your "Ministry" to revile how the narcissistic mind thinks and feels!! Thank you for what you are doing to help others understand.🌻

[@jennifergalberth1240]

@@MentalHealness could I get a chance to talk with you. My man passed last year. His name was also Lee. He was very handsome, smart and pretty damaged because of childhood trauma and other bad breaks in his later life. I need some guidance because I know I had issues too but was trying to cope with things. I found out about the mod matter trying to find out what was wrong with me. It dawned me his mom was most likely NPD but also his entire family. His siblings are Mean. Especially after he passed they sadist things to me. We were not married but we're together over 10 yrs having been friends for some years before. Looking back on somethings he did and put me and himself thru...woo. wow I moved away and I am not over it yet. I think it is epidemic now My sister and late brother too. Sadistic people. I was supposed to be the scapegoat but left home early I had labeled since childhood by mother's white racist family because I identify as black like late father who died young. I never met his family. I am now 60. My Lee was 70 when he died. I sl I'm sad. I almost got him to go into therapy with me. .. he even met a black phd psychologist who would have treated us for free but the pandemic happened and the man's wife passed. I loved my friend very much and we when thru so much together

[@judyp.]

@@jennifergalberth1240 🧡

[@wellnesswize]

How's it going? Is he becoming more aware?

[@diamonds2diamonds370]

My husband is one, everyone thinks he's the best and I should be so happy.But at home he is something else. My husband started being friends with a woman at church she's married also.while I am at work,they would talk text,I didn't know what was happening until one day He was talking to her.when I spoke to him ,he almost wanted to fight.any way a moth ago I spoke with her.two weeks ago my husband came in from church and started this fight with me because she told him to not call her phone again.He blames me .He said It's my fault.I haven't spoke to him again because if your friend is more important than your marriage then that where he needs to be.now he wants to talk.My husband's is very nasty to me.I can't take anymore.11 years of 😭.blaming me for everything.He made everyone more important.I feel better now after the tears has stopped.thank God

[@CharliePowell92]

Congrats! Please continue on your journey to self healing 🖤

[@diamonds2diamonds370]

@@CharliePowell92 - thank you ,so much

[@isabellglover5217]

Diamonds2Diamonds Run for your life 🏃‍♀️you are so much better than that your husband is very selfish & arrogant you hurting yourself letting him bring you down he has no respect for you!!!!!! Your husband going keep controlling you he’s not going to stop it’s your call enough is enough Run don’t look back 🙏🙏🙏

[@diamonds2diamonds370]

@@isabellglover5217 - Thank you, I am not going back this time .I have so many times before & Its getting worse I am so done.

[@His.Heart.]

your living my life exactly, your not alone

[@susanwolfe6914]

You do know though, that you are a rarity right? My private dream was for my ex was for him to become self aware and counsel so we could stay together. However, it is supposedly extremely rare for a narcissist to do what you have done. Almost all narcissists just go on to the next person to feed their needs instead of making a change. So you are a narcissistic unicorn! Your wife is so lucky to be able to reap the rewards of your gift of awareness! Good for you both! That’s a blessing and I’d even go as far as to say a miracle! I’m happy for you both. I wish it had turned out that way for me. That was my goal and my dream but I could no longer live with the abuse and control.

[@DandyDuh]

Seriously, I divorced mine after 14 years of abuse, cheating & nonstop betrayals. Divorced 5 years now, he moved on sooo quickly with women from Craigslist & POF. He tried to replace our family & children. He now has 3-4 children's Mom's, 3 -4+ children, one looks like his best friend. These children were all born a month to weeks apart. Two sets of ghetto twins. I am soo glad that our children are 12 & 16. He tried to come back a few times with his women & extra children. There's no way, I'd ever go backwards & other women have always been a problem. Stay strong 💐

[@pointsbeingmade7996]

@@DandyDuh that sucks.

[@tinadraper9143]

Same but after I seen a recent pic of him in glad I got away, he aged alot & his body looks like the diabetes really got to him.

[@music_istherapy8860]

This is exactly me

[@mnhim23]

@tina yeah most narcs are arrogant. My ex bf is super arrogant and entitled..I wonder what will happen when he loses his youth and becomes old, wrinkled and gray..then what will he rely on? He’s just relying on his looks to get him his “supply”, when underneath it all, he is so insecure it’s sad and pathetic.

[@Pheonix1111]

My narcissistic mother ruined me. I think all narcissists should be banished from civilization to live on a deserted island amongst themselves, so they can torture one another instead of us and leave us in peace. I think that is the only way they will learn how horrible they truly are to us. Narcissists MUST improve their despicable behaviour and disgusting communication. They MUST learn empathy. I am glad you are in therapy.

[@clauaome25]

It's hard to find skilled therapists that deal with narcissism too

[@highvaluemale4866]

I would think so

[@a.w.3689]

You need clinical psychologist who studies disorders not every therapist can help.

[@clauaome25]

@@a.w.3689 absolutely but the resources narrow down too since not many therapists even want to deal with it in the first place, and they don't know much about the subject, and the reason why that is because there is not much knowledge in general about it, this is due to the fact that narcissists don't even think they are wrong and they almost never seek help. This makes things even more challenging.

[@clauaome25]

@@unbotheredb.i.t.c.h. yeah, but SKILLED therapy, that was my question

[@clauaome25]

@@unbotheredb.i.t.c.h. a narc doesn't care to stop, if anything. Also, most narcs are unaware they are one. How do they even start to ask for help if that is what is going on? It has nothing to do with "weak minds". A narc doesn't care to ask for help, because they don't think they need it. It goes back to my initial statement. Yes, I also left my relationship with the narc, but only after I found out he was one. The empath is the first one in realizing they are the narc, not the narc themselves.

[@mrscamiel]

I really appreciate hearing this. I been a crutch for my husband for so long. He recently lost his job and is blaming everyone else for him losing it. I'm leaving him when our daughter finishes this school year. 13 years of dealing with a narcissist is wayyyy too long. I'm definitely afraid of him hitting rock bottom because I know it'll crush him but I have to make a better decision for our daughter and myself ❤️❤️

[@MentalHealness]

♥️♥️ stay safe and strong

[@jiveturkey2071]

Yesss Queen I’m rooting for you. Have a nice easy escape plan. Disappear on his ass. It’s about you and your peace and sanity. Let’s go 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@dredheadluna420]

You better not tell him. Escape in silence. Change your number. Dont tell your family. Hell, change your avatar on here.

[@mrscamiel]

@@MentalHealness Thank you so much for your videos. You've really helped me ❤️❤️

[@mrscamiel]

@@jiveturkey2071 🥰 Thank you. I really needed to hear that.

[@313poo9]

I really wish my husband would understand this... he needs to be aware. I told him to get help then he gaslight the entire situation. He has no boundaries when it comes to myself and the kids. He has said so much harsh stuff to all of us.

[@brianpollet3193]

Wow! Bro seems like you’ve found a way to get supply in a positive way. It’s powerful to hear you say you choose to be better. Take that energy and the need to compete and compete against the disorder itself instead of others. More power to you brother ✊🏾

[@MentalHealness]

I really appreciate it man. I really do

[@jzloveinfinite]

"compete against the disorder " 🙌

[@avanellehansen4525]

He ROCKS!

[@imbrakingthrough2152]

Brilliant comment- I was thinking the same thing- it’s a healthy way having attention and admiration- we all want that- way to go - that’s what life is about 👏🏻

[@niki.ktronsgard8507]

Sorry my vision is bad, Brian Pollet i love your first statement, I was thinking the same thing 😆 great delivery, I could not have worded it better, I im intrigued by this character for sure, still flabbergasted with the accountability, and have so many questions. I love the therapists who focus on dealing with cluster b relationships, but this is next level #@&$, its like the difference between addiction treatments, there are purely educated case workers, but I lean towards the recovered addict case workers . They've got an edge for sure!

[@kp1266]

Thank you 🙌🏾 I recently realized I have traits of narcissism. My empathic GF of 3 years left me due emotional energy being worn down and becoming negative towards me. She suggested I do therapy for childhood trauma I experienced but I was so stubborn to do it. Now I know what I need to do to be better.

[@MentalHealness]

STAY STRONG! message me on instagram if you need some help

[@pointsbeingmade7996]

Good for you man get it sorted and stop hurting others

[@ih4674]

You watching this video means you want help. Most wouldn't.

[@adaytripp]

Amen! Former narcissists unite!

[@curiositystoryer]

As an empath, I believe that we become this way because we learn from the time of being just a baby, that our needs and wants don't matter or are rewarded, only when we satisfy someone else.We learn to so heavily identify with other people and "see" them, in much greater depth then we often see ourselves. I only started my own healing journey when I hit rock-bottom from a narcissist family member. Hitting rock-bottom is the only path that will push us all up, narcissists and non-narcissists alike. So as painful as this is right now, this is a gift. I am the healthiest I've ever been as a non-narcissist because I hit my rock bottom. I believe you, and your (ex?) girlfriend, both will find healing and growth IF you consistently put in the time and effort. Be patient. Change is a journey filled with revelations. It's not just one destination.

[@MsEgomaniaac]

Sometimes they would rather take it to the grave. Too proud to acknowledge

[@MentalHealness]

🎯

[@robertjmccabe]

I’ve been abused by narcissists my entire life starting with my father. I am autistic and need others to help me in the social world. After so many depressions and constant anxiety I no longer hate them. The way I see it is narcissists are socially gifted. If they would just use their talents of organizing people for good the world would be a better place.

[@kaedatiger]

They might seem socially gifted from your perspective, but they are not. I learned social skills through a combination of study and practice and after 15 years have surpassed all the narcissists I personally know. They are limited by their lack of genuine interest in other people. PM if you want advice.

[@pointsbeingmade7996]

@@kaedatiger true

[@Christimony222]

I love autistic people. You are gifted.

[@seanm7539]

@@kaedatiger true that

[@seanm7539]

@Micki Moritz I’m autistic as well

[@kesha2414]

Old things are passed away....Jesus is able to make all things new. Im glad you found a good therapist. I’m happy to listen to you. Thank you.

[@MentalHealness]

Thank you. I appreciate it

[@MegaLadylove2012]

Blah

[@EbsCherryPie]

Lee, I was in a relationship with an unaware Narcissist, for 4 years I couldn't heal. I hated who he made me be, I have mental health issues and he used them against me. It is your videos that have actually helped me heal. I'm not crazy! That's big. Please keep doing what you are doing. It does help some. It's helping me. Never thought a narcissist would be helpful, glad I found you on KZbin.

[@MentalHealness]

stay strong and empowered

[@remnant1018]

On behalf of everyone in here, thank YOU for all the videos you’ve posted in an attempt to help us all. May Yahweh bless you with peace.

[@stephaniewilliams845]

Empaths are traumatized people who can "feel" others' feelings bc we're hyperaware of everyone and look where the risk is.

[@brittanyd8103]

@@stephaniewilliams845 Being an empath does not mean you're a traumatized person.

[@stephaniewilliams845]

@brittney Dailey, not every emphatic person is. I think most are though. Watch who you notice or feel or gravitate or shy away from in a setting. If it's mostly never the happy people....chances are 🤷‍♀️

[@brittanyd8103]

@@stephaniewilliams845 I don't know, that statement doesn't really make sense. "Happy" at face value could actually be a myriad of things.

[@stephaniewilliams845]

@@brittanyd8103 it means at its most basic level, walk into work or any gathering, and for me, I'll recognize immediately the person or people who seem shy or hurt or sad or anything that isn't part of the happy crowd. I don't know how else to explain it 😞

[@chilizzylizzy5234]

You have proven all the suffering Empaths like me that we're actually valid with the reason behind our broken spirit. Your wife is graced to be justified just by you. I wish i could be graced just like her😭

[@swiftkarma4436]

🤮

[@TheCHAYIL]

Don’t cry sister. We have to forgive ourselves for the time we’ve lost and move on…. Don’t waste another second. Especially if they doesn’t love us or themselves to do the work this man did. They can’t lead families with such a distorted outlook. Trust God entirely…. I have to in my case our son only 6 so no contact isn’t a option for me.

[@sonyajohnson6955]

Yes, Lee’s wife is very fortunate. Most narcs would have twisted her up in their minds, called her a selfish b*tch, “Left me for another man, took my baby.” Gone and found new supply and cried on her shoulder. Lee did something different. He “hit rock bottom and bounced.” Became a decent human being. His wife probably always has to have one foot out halfway out the door, though, otherwise he’ll go back to being an entitled sh*t. On the other hand, his thing was he was smart and was supposed to be in the NFL. He “deserved” it. None of that happened. Some narcs are pretty successful and they become insufferable.

[@angeliqueyoung9249]

Most narcissists can't take responsibility or handle criticism. They're too fragile and the disorder is one big defence mechanism to protect this fragility. It's a subconscious defense mechanism that most aren't conscious of. So if you're truly a narcissisist, that's extraordinary that you can be aware.

[@lossofsensation9539]

As a narcissist I’m dealing with another rock bottom and it’s horrible. I’m so tired of “KZbin” coaches saying I’m evil and irredeemable so thanks for this video.

[@lievepw1459]

You feel empathy or regret?

[@joey_youtube]

@@lievepw1459 I really wanna know too

[@Gabichi888]

still sound like one

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

The Bible says you are.

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

I think he was playing victim and hoping for some sympathy. Lol

[@holliestanton1509]

This level of self awareness is Amazing. I have tried for so many years to try and make my ex aware of himself and his behaviour. I have finally realised after all the abuse I have withstood that it is not my job I cannot make him change or seek help if he does not want to!

[@chi8565]

You are living proof that no man can change until they themselves decide that they want to change, nobody can change us, narcissists and empaths alike. This is why it is very important to never condemn a person, but to have the self love and courage to get out of something that isn't feeding you, yet tearing you down. You are the second self aware narcissist I have come across and I believe the most important part of this video was the fact that you said you had to hit rock bottom and admit to yourself and that your wife couldn't help you by staying with you, but by being away. Thankful that you were able to get your family back and help so many with your testimony, stay blessed and encouraged!

[@newnormal1009]

I felt like I was losing my mind. I felt crazy. Thank you for acknowledging that I’m not crazy. It’s been 5 years since I left my narcissistic ex and I’m still healing. We co- parent, took 5 years to finalize our divorce. He plays control games at every step.

[@Done-1613]

Stay strong facing same situation with my ex except I start my custody still going through

[@80sprincess52]

8:45 had me howling 'the world needs a safe space from narcissists' 😂💀

[@daphnewhitaker7519]

Thanks!

[@MentalHealness]

you’re welcome

[@jackiesteele1164]

Good luck on your journey!! Please forgive me but... proof is in the pudd"n, I'd love to hear your wife's views on your changes ✌

[@MentalHealness]

Will do

[@majormediaproductions]

@@MentalHealness Wow that's huge. Big respect if you do bro💯

[@patriciarainey4497]

Your wife must be so proud of you. I tried to get my husband to understand he had a serious disorder. His words were "you don't think I don't know how difficult I am? I know I am difficult." He refused therapy, he said I needed therapy. Therapist said I believe you married a highly narcissistic psychopath. He has recently past from a rare cancer that 1% of the male population gets! Smh. Alone, hurt, and I feel I failed him but I know I didn't. I prayed for mercy for him and then I realized I was his Mercy. I wish I could've helped him more. Learning to help myself. I agree with you. Narcissist are not fricken monsters, they are human.

[@philima]

No, you are not his mercy and you could not have helped more. He didn't want that help. You have to help yourself overcome the need to overtake someone's responsibility. Look up codependency for more info. If you don't change your mindset you might absolutely find yourself in another narc relationship. :(

[@inotaarto8719]

Narcs are ppl who usually inherit the mindset from narcs who inherited it from their parents and so on. And the thing is, narcs seldom know what narcissism is. And to become aware and wanting to change requirers a crisis. 🕊️

[@seanm7539]

They are human yes of course but some stay trapped in that mindset

[@patriciarainey4497]

@@seanm7539 my husband did. He never was able to come to terms with his imperfections.

[@christinegratzoll2032]

No disrespect you def are redeeming yourself. But for some it’s dangerous to stay engaging with these people that have this disorder .. I think the big difference here is you wanna change others don’t what they do works for them . 😢 the mind has a survival mode & reproduction mode .. whats in between no gray area .. your a strong 💪🏽 dude & I believe all things can happen w/ god it’s def possible.. but simply if the person doesn’t want it .. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@jipuragi1297]

Believe it or not, it takes humility to realise that : 1. you struggle with something 2. take action to address it 3. keep going to want to improve and self-growth Unfortunately for me, my covert narc ex (almost husband) is unaware of any of these, reason why it tired me out and became unbearable. Loving someone will not replace them not loving themselves...

[@MentalHealness]

😩😩

[@chamomiletea9562]

What a relief to hear a narcissist who is open to self analysis and going to a therapist too! Very rare but I think that when more people "come out" then more narcissists will have to confront their false self. All the ones who have hurt me so are in complete denial and have no incentive to change.

[@WorldOfARandomVegan]

I hear you! My narc ex totally did everything in his power to destroy me. Shockingly, he told me that he just started going to therapy. Maybe there's hope for him yet, but he's only a month in and we have an ongoing situation that prevents me from being able to close the door on him yet, but so far no real change. Ha ha! Hopefully he works his ish out because he's going to destroy his young son's life if he doesn't.

[@chamomiletea9562]

@@WorldOfARandomVegan Amazing! Thanks WorldOfRandomStuff. I think it is ok to have hope as long as you stay focused on your healing and life. Just don't let your guard down.

[@valerieriggins3184]

A REAL Narc Don't Change! POINT BLANK PERIOD 💯🙄They Just Play The Game A Little Different.

[@chamomiletea9562]

@@valerieriggins3184 None of the ones I got wrapped up with changed at all-I think they actually got worse. So I hear you. I am trying to listen to this guy because it could be possible or perhaps he was just a bit selfish and vain but never really a narc.

[@Godisgreat-777]

“It is a spiritual gift from God for people to perceive their own sins”. Not mine and I can’t give credit because I don’t know who first said that. That statement is so true. Not only to perceive our own sins but to also take action and change our behavior (repent). Then to make right our wrongs to those we have hurt and harmed. 🙏🏼

[@zusjevanlicht]

Your God sounds like a sadistic narc too. Hurting people to teach them a lesson. Phew. That's some Stockholm sh right there.

[@brianachablis8145]

Amen.

[@brokenbondages607]

You are a brave individual. You should be proud of taking ownership of your behaviors & helping others understand narcissism. Thank you!😊

[@MentalHealness]

Thank you so much!

[@drodriguez1666]

Just found out literally 1day ago my husband of 8yrs is a narcissist. The pain is so raw I love him and listening to you all I have gone through thinking I was at fault for my failures in my marriage. Baby steps and Seeking God my spirit needs a lot of healing. Thank you

[@jessjulian9959]

How's it been going? ❤

[@rsi171]

God is in you. Your energy and enthusiasm for this journey of growth, healing and self-awareness the He is guiding you on is truly admirable. God bless you, John 14:6

[@ms.angiesclassroom3189]

My x partner is way too successful career wise to ever feel that life is falling apart for him. Replaces partners as soon as one realizes he’s full of problems. Blame shifts, explodes, tamper tantrums, lying at a pathological level. For him to hit rock bottom, he’d literally have to loose his job (which is his complete identity, all just a facade, but his lifelong identity. Shame when I think about it. I know where his trauma comes from but I also know that it is his responsibility to face his inner demons in therapy. It took him 20 years to to get a second chance with me. F… it up almost as soon as he showed up.

[@jerrylenfuchs4530]

I wish they all end up like you. Getting awareness and choose to change. Because most of them express how proud they are, which I think an act that will brutally hurt their ego if they change. So they can't.

[@saniamohamed2023]

I have love for everyone. And people with NPD, I love them no differently. I’m glad you found a safe space to help yourself become better.

[@MentalHealness]

appreciate it

[@s.hennigan5801]

@@MentalHealness " when you have planted the rose of love into your heart your life has not been in vain" Omar Khayyam

[@susanneosborne7861]

I've read 1,000 articles on narcissism and they all say a narcissist can't see their own narcissism, so listening to you blows that out of the water. I'm involved with a narcissist for 8 years now and just left him on this last day of 2022. I can't imagine he could ever see his npd. Anyway, it's great to come across your videos and hear your empathy. I didn't think a narcissist could learn true empathy.

[@HeartOfAnAngelMesseges]

My husband knows he’s a narc but won’t change and about to hit rock bottom…

[@sunshinet7026]

I have learned you have to go through the darkness to come to light to teach. You cannot teach if you don't know nothing about it yourself... God bless!

[@MentalHealness]

God bless you as well

[@Anna-gz2sh]

Hi Lee, listening to this video brought me back to a memory. It was actually mind boggling. My husband and I started couple therapy. He cheated. Fast forward to a question our counselor asked my husband. "If you had a daughter who was dating someone like you, would you allow the man to treat her the way you treat your wife and children?" While I thought it was a great question, my husband didn't hesitate and said, "yes, I'm a good person." I think the counselor was a little taken aback. Part of me wasn't surprised but it did bother me. I remember the counselor had to "remind" my husband that not too worry, he was going to talk to me too and that he wasn't taking any sides.He had to reassure him because he was getting defensive and withdrawing, aside from lying as well. Felt good to just write that, it's been a roller-coaster ride. Still is, but at least I know I need to become independent and recognize my self worth. He doesn't get to tell me anymore that I'm disgusting and then come to hug me and try to kiss me...ugh Again, thank for these videos, for bringing self awareness to all. Don't give up and be happy for who you are, what you're doing is a good stepping stone forward. You are giving hope to many. You're right, self-awareness is a big gift.

[@jenniferbrown750]

I’ve been married to a narc for 34 years it took me sooo long to know what I was dealing with. U have helped me to “see” things and it’s not me or I’m crazy. We have 4 boys it’s effected them too. I just wanted to keep my family together … I know now not to feed him now … I don’t play into him now

[@ImpulsoCreativo9322]

I've been with mine for 20 years. U inspire me that u have done 34 years and still alive. I want to heal. It hurts and is hard. Are u still together??

[@mafunasekaisi2290]

My situation exactly🤧

[@jonathanomahony688]

I was with my narcissists husband for 35 years. Meet him when I was 16 years old. Been together for 35 years in total. I am now 51 years old. I made the decision to walk away, I just couldn't do it anymore. I knew in my heart that if I had stayed it would surely break me. I am a super empath and was well able to handle my self during all of his drama crap. But 4 months ago I said ENOUGH. I discarded him, went no contact and asked him to leave the house. I just had enough, and had to decide to put me first for a change. 4 months on doing great thank God. New me plenty of self love and respect. Life is very short and we only

[@patriciaburton5279]

Kudos to you for surviving so long. I know you must love him if you're still there after the boys are gone, but now it's time to love yourself. 🥰❤️ God bless you 🙏

[@MandyAmelia]

I believe in a self-aware narcissist because I self diagnosed when I was pregnant with my third child. I realized I was having feelings and doing actions that didn’t always make good sense and I was doing it to “win” “be right” not really for a greater good. That was 2015. It literally hurt to transform out of it. I had a narcissist mother and step mother and step sister. Most of the women in my moms fam were narcissistic. I realized there was a lot of emotional and mental abuse on me and my cousins as children. So yes. There are self-aware narcissists.

[@momohead35]

You are being enormously helpful, I don’t think you understand how impactful this is. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and this journey with us.

[@cheriemarie7200]

You made the choice to change where so many do not. Huge kudos to you!

[@MentalHealness]

Appreciate it

[@juliannavince6776]

Im proud of u. I really thought narcissists couldn't be helped. Suffering from abuse I'm now in therapy and learning to be a stronger empath

[@rubyavery6743]

I’m recovering from a Narcissist Relationship now , it’s going on 3 months now, No contact, I told him to delete me and he said “that’s the best news I’ve had all year” I’m staying strong though with God and Loving myself more , Glad I found Your channel

[@MentalHealness]

stay strong

[@evalacey7703]

Kudos from Germany!! You ARE on your way to changing the world!!! I’m not a narcissist but you’ve helped me cope with the damage from a family of them. God bless you!

[@NickBatinaComposer]

My guy, this stuff feels like I’m hearing the inner monologue of my dad turned good. I’m really happy bruh, I’m really happy for you. Seeing what he’s put his life into in the name of recognition in the eyes of his parents fuckin hurts to watch, and people like you make me proud of the shit they had to go thru to help at least one generation of the family see this shit for what it is.

[@dontbelievewhatuc1]

"You can CHOOSE to be better!" That's a whole sermon. And every human being has some area(s) in our lives where that statement applies. Thanks for what you're doing. Keep on keeping on.

[@grammy8436]

👍👍👍

[@leilanibatiste2928]

Thank you Most High for this vessel!! Please continue to bless him and everyone on both sides of this recovery journey. If you are reading this now, God loves!! I love you!! Let's get to the other side!!

[@MentalHealness]

Thank you so much. ❤️

[@irenageorgieva8011]

I’m a healed empath and you’ve won me over! This has been my dream for years- people getting better and getting along. You will be healed when you call on God! As long as you want it and you know what your issue is and what to ask for you’ll get it! Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find...’ God bless us all!

[@quoiyiaculpepper3600]

Amen

[@quoiyiaculpepper3600]

We're all Human...we make mistakes...we Can fix it!!

[@KariMotley]

My ex has been diagnosed with sociopathy and NPD, maybe it’s because of the sociopathy he still would never acknowledge it. He still regardless of everything he was told by therapists, thought they were all crazy and would NOT see himself. He’s 43 years old and I don’t think he will ever see it or ever have a rock bottom. He’s lost so much and none of it matters to him. He reinvents himself into another facade for the next person, the next opportunity, etc.. and just keeps on destroying people’s lives. It’s insane. I had to go no contact and will never look back. I still pray every day he eventually hits his bottom but sadly I don’t think will happen in his case.

[@moarroz]

My partner is 79 and the same. I thought it was the estrogen he went on at first, then i thought it was dementia (but the 2 hr neuro psych and MRI said he had "superior intellect") ...he didn't care that he was healthy ...he only cared that i found out how smart and manipulative he was (cuz the psych put it in her notes that he kept purposely diverting attention away from questions he didn't like lol)

[@monicanapier9087]

He will hit rock bottom ! Karma doesn’t forgive ! My ex narc left a trail if wounded women ! He was always the victim so I researched him hired a PI did a true finder online check .. he was a total lie ! His background beck w spouse abuse etc etc! I left town n never looked back ! I became His karma ! I disposed of him n went no contact !!!

[@yvettepillay5976]

I also have been in a narcissistic relationship I have given all my love and tym to this person only not to b treated properly ,sworn at told terrible words,wen they get angry and upset then by me gifts to compensate their bad behavior, eventually I left him for good ,cos I realized money does not buy you love

[@Phantom-ez4zv]

Yes sociopaths npds do not have rock bottom, when they reach it they just look for bigger doses of supplies

[@Taylor-Crawford]

I have healed tremendously because of your content. YOU are built different. I know the narcissus I cut out of my life is miserable without me and that gives me indescribable comfort. Until discovering YOU specifically... hatred revenge and bitterness was cultivating as a "victim" of probably the world's most profound severe case of undocumented narcissism.

[@brandyv3698]

I love your videos!!! You are helping me understand why I can’t go back to my narcissist ex. I thought he was going to be my forever it’s hard to understand how the person in the beginning is not who they really are.

[@do3258]

I'm struggling with that, too. I was so happy in the beginning, I thought he was perfect. I wouldn't allow myself to go back cause I know I'd be miserable for life. But I still wish he had been normal in the head

[@nclivingstone]

I’m glad I kept listening- you made me feel compassion for you and in turn for the man I’m divorcing.. and then you said I can’t be his crutch. I love him so much. I’ll let him go.

[@NarcFreeFinally]

Thank you for this. The validation it gives to so many of us who are victims of and lives have been so devastated by ppl with NPD is so important. Hearing ONE of you admit to what you’ve done…. No words. God bless you in your journey to healing of the self and others.

[@blahblah7050]

He’s still a narcissist and still hurts people but someone working on themselves deserves respect. I just wouldn’t want anything to do with narcs & I’m keeping my distance 😂

[@NarcFreeFinally]

@@blahblah7050 sounds like a plan for you! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@angelamartin1147]

You ARE redeeming yourself! Thank you!

[@MentalHealness]

♥️

[@EPrice-tu3of]

I wish I could listen to you because I believe you are trying to help but the way you say what you say has a strong narcissistic undertone. Keep helping, as a victim of a narcissist that is is still under attack I hope I am able to listen to you one day! Keep helping and keep healing!

[@Cyberdad711]

I’m thankful for your channel, as I’m too embarrassed a lot of times to think of just how long I have let this woman destroy my life being prideful and taking accountability, 😢I thought I was in love and she hunted me from day 1 I allowed it, I trusted her and she taught me what real faith is, brought me closer to God, which made me feel suffering through her abuse was just a test of my faithfulness because God brought her into my life, I never thought I’d hate anyone and I know it’s wrong so I pray to find peace, but to think a human being finds satisfaction out of trying to ruin someone’s life, my business is in debt, fighting addictions and almost caught a felony 5,thought I had a whole kid that she knew about wasn’t mine and let me get close. Just evil

[@HTNPSullivan]

The word that jumped out at me when Lee is talking about hitting rock bottom is, "alone." That's rock bottom for a narcissist, and probably for a lot of people struggling with one issue or another. When I would go visit a friend for a few days, my covert narcissist ex would invite a friend to stay at the house. AND he'd immediately go visit one of his friends when I came back home. I found this really bizarre behavior for a grown man and I just blew up one of the times he did this. He accused me of being irrational, and when I stopped talking to him because I was too angry to speak, he stood about 4 feet away from me (I was doing the dishes), asking me lots of trivial questions, just to force me to answer him -- like a toddler would. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I felt like this (and many other behaviors that felt like he was copying things I did) was weird. I said, "You just can't be alone, can you?" He had a funny look on his face. I think maybe it had never occurred to him that people can actually enjoy being alone, and now he felt like he'd given away something about himself, a weakness, a "flaw". Very defensively, he replied, "I can be alone!" Ten years into this relationship, with maybe 7 of them being (to me) very lonely, confusing, draining, stressful, I had a major heart attack and ended up having to have heart surgery. This guy literally broke my heart. I accepted my best friend's offer to take care of me at her beautiful home where I knew it would be quiet, I wouldn't have to deal with stairs like at my place (second floor of a two-family house), that she'd make sure I ate well, and I'd be able to sleep when I needed to and she'd help with things like getting dressed. I knew that if I'd gone directly home, I'd be expected to take care of myself and our dog. I was away from home for more than a month -- 2 weeks at a rehab center and 3 weeks with my friend. I would have stayed longer but my ex had bought tickets to fly out of state to visit his family, and he had no intention of losing the $200 airfare. He left for a week, the morning after I came home. My sister had set up a Go Fund Me account because I couldn't work for the foreseeable future (surgery left me with nerve damage in my legs). I had to spend $300 for someone to walk my dog for that week, taking money meant to cover household bills. If the shoe was on the other foot, there is NO WAY I would have left my boyfriend alone after heart surgery, even if I lost $200 in airfare. When I finally said the magic words that made this man leave me ("If you think you're not going to be able to pay your share of the bills, then we may need to talk about other living arrangements."), he already had someone "groomed" and ready to take him in. I would be willing to bet that person spent time in my apartment while I was away recovering from surgery. He told me on the first of the month (October 2019) that he'd be moving out by the end of the month, because he "met someone." The "someone" was the roommate of his Massachusetts friend's girlfriend. Very convenient, yes? After I came home from the hospital, my ex was spending almost every weekend in Massachusetts, so I wasn't surprised when he announced, with tears in his eyes, that he'd "met someone." (I think they were tears of fear of how I'd react.) I saw a post on a Facebook page for people recovering from covert narcissistic abuse (my ex is the "nice guy" type of narcissist -- taught Sunday school, went to missionary school, always doing good deeds) and it really hit the nail on the head: "Nobody falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs somewhere to live." We met when he was having to move out of a place that was being torn down. I have a nice, cheap apartment and had a "spare" room. I also had a car (he didn't; in fact I taught him how to drive, at age 37), am a good cook, had a decent job, am not too hard to look at, and most importantly, I fell for the mirage of his Self. So, as you can tell, I just got super triggered by Lee's video! But I just want to add one more comment and that's about self-aware narcissists. I do believe it's possible, just not common. My ex is a very intelligent guy. One evening, he looked at my KZbin channel, and even though I had been careful to erase my viewing history, freakin KZbin kept "suggesting" videos on narcissism. He asked why there were so many narcissism videos popping up and then decided to watch one (on our TV) about whether or not to tell someone they are a narcissist. How uncomfortable do you think that 20 minutes was? At the end, he made a whimpering kidlike sound and asked, "Am I a narcissist?" I was afraid of how he would react, possibly with anger, and I said, "Well, they just said that if you tell a narcissist that they're a narcissist, they won't believe you. Who knows? Maybe I'm a narcissist." And he seemed quite satisfied with that. BUT I really think he genuinely wondered about it -- for about 20 seconds. After he left, I wrote him a 7-page letter about my experience of the relationship and how much damage it caused me. When he came to get more of his stuff from the apartment, he said about the letter, "I don't agree with your narrative. You don't want to ARGUE about it, do you?" I said, "No, I have nothing more to say to you." He also said he hoped he could continue to be a part of my life, and that I was the most "awesome" person he knew. BTW, the Christmas after he left, he came back and gave me a book as a present, about cat personalities. I said thank you (even though I don't have a cat) and didn't look at it until a week or so later. Chapter 1 was entitled, "The Narcissist."

[@Lady_Ra]

That is one hell of a crazy ending! I hope you have healed and are happy!

[@b.boston8529]

The whole time he was toying with you, and believe me, he knows what he is. Even the squeaky voice and toddler behaviour, all part of the game they derive pleasure from getting away with for so long and the outside world knowing nothing about. I hope you are recovering?! I am glad you have a good friend! Never look back, you're not going that way!

[@Christimony222]

This is so relatable. Even if your not a narcissist. It’s so relatable to be an adult and realize life doesn’t look anything like how you thought it would be and feel discouraged/angry because of it.

[@thathorsecandomath]

I'm currently mired in my rock bottom. I've emotionally broken the people closest to me. So glad I found you. I don't really have too many people in my life I can talk to about this stuff but listening to you makes me feel at least somewhat connected...so thank you for that. I'm trying to turn this around...not gonna lie...it ain't easy. You give me hope, though. If you ever find yourself in Charlotte, the first round is on me...hell, first six rounds.

[@8no1likeme-infinitestar65]

I am amazed at how self-aware you are, I wish the ones in my life could man up the way you have. you are a perfect example of redemption and proof that there is a choice between good and evil, and everyone has the free will to make the right choice, sadly most refuse to see that they have a choice

[@stormofconquest]

Honestly thank you for admitting exactly how terrible you treated your wife. My mom will admit she was not a great mom but won't actually admit to a single thing she did and that's progress. It takes so much strength to actually say, "I told her I could replace her easily," and give specific examples of the mistakes you made and erroneous attitudes you had, because when you show that vulnerability you risk being rejected or outright demeaned and you're willing to be all of those things in order to heal that relationship as well as yourself and that's amazing.

[@dominicgomez3488]

Bro! Absolutely on point. I m at rock bottom now, and can finally relate to someone with who puts it in perspective. Keep oing what your doing it has made a difference in my life. Starting therapy and excited to finally understand why I do what I do. Thank you man you gave me hope.

[@MentalHealness]

you’re welcome 🙌🏾

[@makattackaa]

Lol my ex's name is Dominick and I want to show him this video 😂 I hope you start healing!

[@TheFaro2011]

I'm glad you had this self awareness, but pathology comes in different forms and it can be so extreme that most absolutely cannot face the truth of who they are.

[@puffchickpam1]

How can anyone put down someone who is taking responsibility for their actions and trying to b a better person and inspiring others to do so too?

[@kaedatiger]

Because other people's authenticity triggers insecurity in those who are fake.

[@petergriffiinbirdistheword]

You truly are my favorite narcissist... 😔💯

[@maryri]

Thank you for your honesty. Many narcissists aren't like you many are in counseling but playing the victim manipulating the counselor and everyone else too for their supply. I've tried to tell the narcissists in (now out) be honest to me be honest with me stop lying but they were too full of pride and didn't care.

[@reneecauble4970]

God can soften your heart. You mentioned repenting and I hope you will call on Him and spend time in His word. All the answers about behavior is there. Insolent pride, lies, haughty, scoffers and a hardened heart are the biblical definitions of narcissism. The fruits of the spirit will identify a person’s character and help you identify people to keep in your life or people to let go. Praying for you and appreciate your willingness to share your journey.

[@spreadthegospel6667]

I am so proud of you for getting help! You are so in your purpose helping people. I am praying for you! Awesome job! I am so proud of you!! It’s so good to know narcs can change….

[@istina4720]

Thank you for your courage to own your shit and share your story. I wish more people had this same bravery of self-awareness and a commitment to bettering themselves

[@tiffanyfournier2985]

Lee, it would be very interesting to do an episode with your wife's take on things. PS: I just found your channel recently and even though this is a serious topic and you're bang on, you crack me up in your delivery. I enjoy listening to your side of things. Good on you for making changes.

[@jeffreymurray4855]

Wow Lee…you said when I hit rock bottom I bounced (that was a hard bottom) but you have my respect for your transparency

[@DivinevirgoFeminine]

I think when a narcissist can be self aware it is amazing because that’s the beginning of healing your family’s