The National Emergency We 'Didn't Need'

[@rayherbst6655]

The fact that he publicly said it isn’t really needed is admissible in court.

[@Red-rl1xx]

Yeah, I believe it goes "anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law".😄

[@tommyl.dayandtherunaways820]

"You have the right to remain sil- oh okay, guess you're waiving that one. Anything you say can and will be used agai- aaand there you go. You have the right to an attorney- wait really? Rudy Giuliani? Are you sure you don't just want a new one provided for you? Like, some guy fresh out of law school would be more competent, seriously."

[@chronobretz9511]

It's already in the lawsuit brought by 16 states against it lol

[@mikeymcmikeface5599]

Yes. And counting. Also some civil rights groups.

[@ConstantChaos1]

Gurl its admissible in his medical records as proof of altered mental state

[@firecult1]

2:40 I honestly have no idea which ones were made up

[@nfzeta128]

yea and that's definitely the sad point he was trying to get across.

[@A._is_for]

We should take a deep look when the lines of satire and reality blend this closely

[@turquoiseturtle1705]

Well, you at least know the bit about there being a national emergency is made up.

[@erikfinkel2717]

Lincoln's hat and pants factory I think🤣🤣😆🙃

[@BlueButterfly015]

Astir01 No, no, I actually did see that part of the speech.

[@SaintMartins]

Who will pay for the wall ???? MEXICO MEXIC MEXI MEX ME 😥

[@heavystalin2419]

hOh

[@ShiroKage009]

The emergency started on November of 2016.

[@jeremiahclark2464]

👍👍👍

[@phyllishahart6111]

ShiroiKage009 oh I like you ❤️

[@jozz2248]

Sounds right.

[@josieenglin8697]

November 6th to be exact.

[@slothtree2375]

I really like Trump, especially in the show apprentice.

[@anabhousen7159]

Thank you for making me laugh through these dark times Stephen ❤

[@kpaterson9717]

I nearly choked laughing too hard

[@debsreno911]

@Shari Parkin 2020 can't come soon enough.

[@st4rbr1ght]

Amen that 😂😂😂😂👍👍👍👍

[@Rainsnowreadysetblow]

❤️❤️❤️

[@susieque8207]

Dark? Trying opening your eyes.

[@MossyMos]

As I am watching this unfold from Europe, I am sometimes in complete shock. Your President's State of Emergency declaration is in the top five moments, where my jaw hit the floor in utter disbelief. I mean, I watched the whole "speech" and it is frightening to see how unhinged and scatterbrained he is. (To the Trumpsters: this is not a critique of your President, this is simply what I can see with my own eyes and hear with my own ears. But if you are not seeing and hearing the same things then God help, you are going to need it). What an absolutely damaged human being Donald must be. Holy shit. Take care, America.

[@judioregan4210]

Scary isn't it. And I thought our big screaming mess that is Brexit was bad. 😲

[@witchypoorose5196]

Thank you. This is TRULY terrifying! 😟😓

[@trnharris]

TRUTH

[@mikldude9376]

I`m across the pond too in the other direction , and looking on at the events of trumps presidency , and even in the lead up to it , It was massively obvious the way he talked prior to even getting the job and the way he obviously totally bragged and made stuff up that he was absolutely full of crap . I thought to myself , no way in the world will this highly highly unsuitable candidate of very questionable morals and character become president , and no way in the world would the white house allow it ! Because for sure the white house must have checks and balances being the most powerful country in the world ! OMG ..... and here we are today .

[@witchypoorose5196]

@@mikldude9376 yup. Horrifying. I laughed the day he declared his candidacy. I feel like an idiot, not realizing how many uneducated bigots actually wanted him in the white house. Sleep is not good, stress levels are through the roof. This is a nightmare.

[@Raditude]

I started dosing off (long day) and suddenly Stephen Colbert was yelling "wake up!" at 3:21. Scared the crap out of me. Lmao.

[@ZacharyHineytx]

Who me?

[@lifecode]

Me too! It should be made into a morning (or afternoon) alarm haha

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

He saw you nodding off, and we shall have NONE of it! If we have to be awake from drumpf's shit show of a presidency, then you do to! lol

[@sheilanclarke2810]

Same here! My mind legit wandered off when Trump started talking. If it wasn't for the yelling, I would've been light's out. haha

[@FrankieJamesNews]

"911... What's your emergency?" "I had two years to build a wall but didn't and now the Dems have the House and won't give me my every wish..."

[@johnsands9108]

Hahaha. Yep. It's mind boggling obvious that the wall's not an emergency. The "president" knows it's the only campaign promise that he needs to fulfill for a chance at realection. I have a burning desire to see him disgraced and broken.

[@bsuper63]

lol, so true.

[@Zardoz70062]

"Sir, Calling 911 when it's not an emergency is a criminal offence!" ....hang-up and try again! lol

[@verawallace9055]

Priceless Comments,Lol

[@JSRocker1776]

How did he have 2 years to build the wall? There wasn't a filibuster proof majority in Congress. So it was the corrupt Demorats stopping it then also. 🇺🇸TRUMP 2020🇺🇸MAGA🇺🇸Build the Wall Mr President🇺🇸

[@kuruptzZz]

The president just declared a national emergency...and then immediately said it was unnecessary, and left to go play golf. This is like a parody, can't be real life!

[@RoninMike-DR]

Ohhh! I been in a opposite reality since I started binge watching Donald Golf get roasted... I'm starting to think that it might not be healthy for me to see such grand stupidity, over and over and over, it's like a chunk if my sanity is lost every time I watch this sucker of satan's big fat scaly worm jizz and liquid bubonic filled cock...

[@DemonDante1000]

@Herbert Erdferkel Perhaps take your own advice and learn to read. YOu are repeating many of the points I made, dipshit.

[@flopsymopsy7088]

Herbert Erdferkel h

[@TheWheelchairGuy]

Who is paying for the wall? Mexico Mexic Mexi Mex Me

[@j_k5000]

😂😂😂😂

[@connectedone2343]

There will be no wall. This is only a money grab. The Powers that Be KNOW what is happening...yet they are Allowing it. Makes you wonder, huh?

[@subtleusername5475]

It wouldn't be surprising, that's what they do. Just deflect and accuse everyone else of the exact things they're doing wrong.

[@connectedone2343]

@Deborah Lawson It's deeper than Dems vs Rep....they are just 2 sides of the same coin.

[@ItsChurchieYall]

Me... Mel...Mela....melan.........melani...... Melania

[@lw3269]

The clip with 45 and the eagle never gets old.

[@amandabillings9495]

L W Evan the eagle knew he was a piece of meat to be devoured.

[@MimiB1974]

Nevah🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@teria7835]

Animals can tell the nature of a person far better than any of us :D

[@cheeseandmore]

When did this happen?

[@hereticpariah6_66]

Gives me chills to hear that Churchill quote. Brought Britain together, it did.

[@judioregan4210]

Yeah, until the golf part anyway. 😆

[@toobasaurus23]

Someone, please! Stop this lunacy now. I've had enough.

[@yeflynne]

Industrialism is evil

[@joejug162]

toobasaurus23 apparently you haven't, since you are still waiting for "someone" to stop it

[@suellenkelly8607]

I so agree

[@dougdoesall]

The democrats are trying to. Recognize which party is the enabler here, and it ain't the democrats.

[@berserkirclaws107]

"He's nailing that B flat" 🤣🤣🤣

[@victoriabaker4400]

I'm not convinced it was a B-flat, but it's a great joke.

[@smiller2044]

Reading Torah cadence 😄

[@laurabeaudoin3335]

Wonderful President Carter! So lovely to see this awesome couple still doing well - and doing SO much with "Habitat for Humanity" et al! President Carter personifies the definition of Humanity! He was one of the very FEW presidents with integrity - since JFK! Sadly - there are very few men who can match him!

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

I don't think JFK was a model of integrity. He was hansom and his wife beautiful and stylish. Camelot is just bosh.

[@jokerface7531]

*Make America Great Impeach Donald J Trump.and Mike.Pence*

[@vitaminc2161]

Abolish fox news!!

[@MrDino1953]

You can’t say that! That’s George Lewis’ line....every time he comments on KZbin.

[@matejebach5487]

JOCKER FACE You can't. They were elected in their position by Koch brothers, Saudi's and rest of oligarchs, there is nothing can be done anymore. Only to hope that after him they will elect someone else.

[@Shelby_Moe5.2]

Homo Quantum Sapiens you are the weirdest human alive

[@lukaszwojcik8174]

@KZbin Moderator you do know what impeachment is rite

[@dawnbudd2915]

Thank you to all the people who work on this show. The writers, camera people, stagehands, everyone. Especially Stephen. Please keep up the good work. If the President has issues with satire and freedom of speech, we may need to march for our Right to Laugh!

[@lorabetht9206]

Dawn Fudd I agree ☝️ 💯

[@armedwombat6816]

If he gets reelected, you might have to actually do that.

[@aamgdp]

It's so surreal that in those clips those are his actual words

[@veganhoneypot8307]

I know I was trying to see signs of Alec Baldwin in there somewhere. I’m thinking this is not real, is it? What has happened to America. He’s a living breathing hateful nightmare. God bless and help America!!

[@Azenethi]

Peaceful Peaceful Well that’s just not true. Most conservatives are not at all like how you have described us..

[@warren52nz]

Still trying to imagine Obama doing even ONE of the things Trump has done without getting impeached.

[@TalesStahl]

you think Obama would have gotten elected after the video resurfaced where he (Trump) talked about how i walks into woman changing rooms of his beauty pageant and even his daughters said "Sounds like something he would do". Heck Howard Dean was made fun of and called unstable for screaming ONCE

[@lnsflare1]

Still trying to imagine Obama eating even ONE of the meals Trump has eaten without getting a coronary.

[@MimiB1974]

Obama wouldn’t have ever been nominated having 3 baby mama’s, a wife who did soft porn and bankrupted 7 times

[@MimiB1974]

Paul T Sjordal I’ve always said the “master race” knows they’re no one’s superior based off the unleveled playing field they set

[@evonwilliams7502]

Thank you so true

[@lazyperfectionist1]

Wait a minute. Carter is still _alive._ And he's only had one _term!_ Well, shoot. Bring him _back!_

[@openmind763]

Did you know that every president before and two after him have died? This man is sure made of good oak or maybe redwood from Yosemite.

[@tommyl.dayandtherunaways820]

Carter is the oldest living president and also the only one termer now that GHWB is gone. Interestingly enough, Carter won the 1976 primaries by running as a moderate against a crowded field of liberal candidates. And now in 2020, the liberal lane looks pretty crowded again. And Carter's still eligible... 😅

[@ConstantChaos1]

Honestly shit why not bring back some dead ones lmao still better than this mess

[@aviimax]

its all that peanut butter he eats.

[@happycat307]

@@aviimax it's good, decent, honorable living.

[@That_Montage_Nerd]

Steve: "Just tell us that you needed to do this!" Orange Goblin: "I didn't need to do this."

[@Katseye102]

The best part was that he wasn’t done with his announcement and the stations cut him off. It was great! Didn’t have to listen to his rambling anymore! 😂😂

[@tommyl.dayandtherunaways820]

Never before has a president been so irrelevant. I didn't even watch his oval office speech or the state of the union because I knew they were just going to be some variation of his normal rally speeches. And they were. So was the national emergency announcement. His act had shock value at first, but now it's just old and worn out. No one outside his 33% really cares what he has to say anymore 😅

[@SunScourge]

He's crazy alright, but he's not even interesting. When he was elected, I figured at least I'd get to see a crazed despot for myself, but he manages to make it boring as well as devastating. I just bury my head in my hands every time he's on screen, he's too awkward to look at. Can't imagine what it's like for you over in the US that have to see him on the news and all. Godspeed and please replace him come 2020!

[@couragekarnga8735]

The thing is, I don't think he's crazy in the usual sense. He certainly says and does crazy things, but I think he would be found competent to stand trial.

[@novaiscool1]

From our point of view it's very, well I was about to say entertaining, but that's not the right word. It's like being chased by a chainsaw murderer while wearing flip flops.

[@KPICBFG]

@@novaiscool1 I guess it's more like a devastating accident. You are disgusted but can't stop looking.

[@novaiscool1]

KPICBFG kind of accept were in the car having the accident unable to stop the drunk at the wheel from plowing into whatever he pleases.

[@avjake]

OK, enough about Colbert, what do you think of Trump?

[@dougcoombes8497]

That Eagle attacking Trump was America rejecting him...

[@Lucius1958]

The ancient Romans would take *auspices* (observing the behavior of birds) before any important decision. This would have been an obvious bad omen.

[@Crimethoughtfull]

The Spirit of America rejected him. We should have listened.

[@megahappy2bemeIntheStarz]

oh, yeah , I have that clip- classic !

[@joemartin1253]

Doug Coombes That's one smart eagle that knows what's going on.

[@further7074]

That eagle attacking Donnie was not just America but the entire natural world rejecting Donnie.

[@jessetorres8738]

Well alright then. If President Trump can declare the need to build a southern border wall a national emergency (which it isn't since most illegal migrants come to America by planes and overstay their visas like Melania did), then this would mean that the next Democratic President would have the authority to declare a national emergency to do something about combating climate change, regulating gun purchases, funding college tuition, or guaranteeing health care for everyone in the United States of America!

[@megatroymega]

Actually climate change is a legitimate emergency. The other issues are minor social issues when compared to ecological disaster we are cause to the entire planet.

[@rocksfire4390]

@@megatroymega the gun one is actually not a social issue, tens of thousands die each year in the US to guns. this doesn't happen anywhere else but in America. health care is another thing that claims lives every year, either they go in when it's too late or they get in just in time and then walk away with so much debt that they can't possibly keep up with the payments and die anyway. college is the only one that isn't really a national emergency although it has done quite a lot of damage because of the lack of education being provided in some states. although that really ends up being mostly public schools and private schools teaching foolish thoughts to their students because there are no standards at all. college is important and it's something everyone should at least have a chance to go through.

[@jessetorres8738]

You know, Republicans with true conservative principles may be old fashioned, but they are not dumb. Republicans want to place as many conservative justices on the courts as they can and enact no progressive policies that actually help the working class through whatever means necessary. However, they also don't want to make the President have unlimited and unchallenged authority in this country, because they are smart enough to realize that eventually the President won't be someone from their Party. So, if they made it so that a Republican President can do whatever he wants without question, they will hurt themselves once a Democratic President is in charge. Finally, while the television media as a whole believes that the U.S. is a center-right country, in reality if you just ask people what kind of policies they like, the majority of us are center-left, which is proven when 6 out of the past 7 Presidential elections had more votes go to the Democratic candidate than the Republican 1.

[@icook1723]

@@rocksfire4390 none of those compare to the ecological disater that is looking like the 6th mass extiction. Literaly the biggest emergancy in 60 million years.

[@victoriabaker4400]

@@jessetorres8738 I agree, this "Emergency" isn't going to come to pass, for this and other reasons. And I think tRump almost knows that it's a ploy, a sop to his racist base, but even if he doesn't know, it won't come to pass. tRump's remark that he didn't have to do it, he just wanted to hurry things up, will be held against him.

[@realpatriot5729]

*ALEC BALDWIN DESERVES A OSCAR FOR THAT ROSE GARDEN SPEECH*

[@Allagi22]

I don't like Trump either but be careful who you declare your "heroes". Baldwin has a history of public AND domestic violence including recorded emotional abuse directed towards his own children. I honestly don't care how funny he is, he is a bad person and you can't deny that.

[@adaorahi]

@@Allagi22 ?????

[@mary-annmamabolo5154]

When I first saw Baldwin's skit I thought it was bad then I saw the actual interview and I was blown away by Baldwin's interpretation.

[@ljb5163]

Mary-ann Mamabolo Same. It’s scary how accurate it was. It almost not funny anymore.

[@deadfreightwest5956]

I actually saw the cold open before any clips of the actual "speech" by the "president." I really wondered which parts were parody. Then I saw Dumpth's stream of unconsciousness and realized the SNL bit made a lot more sense.

[@redrooster1908]

"The only national emergency is that our president is an idiot"-Ann Coulter.

[@rayherbst6655]

President Carter is still constitutionally eligible.

[@tommyl.dayandtherunaways820]

Carter 2020

[@robyndaniell434]

Ray Herbst Yep! Only had 1 term, and he is more mentally "with it" than the current occupant

[@tommyl.dayandtherunaways820]

@@robyndaniell434 So true. He also is an actual Christian unlike Trump (even though I'm an atheist, I can respect faith when it's genuine). Sadly, in today's political environment, Trump would still get an overwhelming majority of evangelicals to blindly vote for him. So much for voting your values...

[@bronx72a]

Yes, but I heard he misused the ARPANET back in the day.

[@happycat307]

@@tommyl.dayandtherunaways820 I whole hardily agree with you. 👍👍👍

[@KDFROST1]

Colbert is the Best!

[@juanvilchez6978]

We have mass shootings every couple months but he calls an emergency on a wall?

[@Chunkboi]

People are irrationally worried that the government will take away our guns. But the 2nd Amendment prohibits that. After all, without our guns, how will we protect ourselves from 💩?

[@juanvilchez6978]

Im from aurora Illinois where a mass shooting just happened the shooter got his card revoked but they didn’t took his gun away even though he wasn’t legally authorized to have it thats what people mean by more gun control so things like that won’t happen

[@breadyegg]

He asked Obama, 'What's the biggest problem?' and Obama didn't come back with 'I'm looking right at it' ?

[@Ottts22]

lol

[@Chunkboi]

I’m sure he wanted to say it, but Obama has more tact and professionalism than 💩.

[@kendomyers]

Cuz Obama is a right proper posh man he is

[@kbanghart]

Trump is so obsessed with Obama. It's the weirdest thing. his last words on his deathbed will probably be something about Obama. And walls.

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

And emails.

[@perrywalton2464]

Trump continues to trample on this country, institutions, laws, and constitution. Disgrace.

[@dalejordan83]

Trump is amazing. I never seem someone outdoing their stupidity every day. I think it's stupidity to infinity.

[@The1redman2]

Liberals due all the time.

[@rockradstone]

@@The1redman2 "due"? You must be joking....I hope. Got your MAGA hat on too tight?

[@robprocks]

@@The1redman2 dude, learn how to write first, then comment.

[@witchypoorose5196]

.....and beyond.

[@enriqueali]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

[@CornishCreamtea07]

5:20 I had to pause and go watch the speech, because I thought you were editing the footage. But no, he actually said that, it would not have been a surprise to see a technician come out and smack him on the head a few times until he was fixed.

[@chrissiek8706]

🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️ Me me, pick me, i volunteer for the smacking part! I can't promise it would help Spanky, but several million folks would feel better instantly 😉

[@judioregan4210]

@@chrissiek8706 - oh this reminds me of that scene in Airplane, where people are lining up armed to the teeth to give a hysterical woman a slap to calm her down. 😆😆😆 I call dibs on the cricket bat!

[@skoll_2024]

My dog was asleep until Trump’s poem. She lifted her head like she heard a siren. I paused, head back down. And when I played again, she looked at me sadly. Depressing another species. Dats next level shit talking!

[@chrissiek8706]

Explains why Donny never had a dog... They probably all run away from him at the pet shop!

[@corrinejoy3571]

Skoll _ your dog us smarter than Trump and 40% of this stupid voters base

[@divadoll606]

@@corrinejoy3571 Hey Corrine, love the name. That was my mother's name, except spelled with one r.

[@lough1959]

They know! And we call ourselves the superior species!

[@GreatFlamingEyebrows_]

Jon playing piano to Stephens trump impression is television GOLD

[@lough1959]

They definitely work well together! Perfect timing!

[@joycewong1700]

Love how Jon knows the exact note that Trump sing songs. he sounds like the little kids at school learning to read by following a bouncy ball on the screen.

[@yobhsiFehT]

This segment is the most I've ever liked Jon, by far! lol So good.

[@akaimizu1]

News you don’t even have to auto tune.

[@optimisticwhovian1726]

Yeh that had me wheezing I was laughing that hard, these jokes write themselves, they don't need comedy writers Trump does all the work for them the idiot.

[@edwardmarlowe7926]

Stephen is a national treasure

[@phyllishahart6111]

Edward Marlowe must be protected at ALL TIMES

[@rosslynstandingwater4994]

🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@Bladerunner-yd5lk]

He's doing america a great service by showing the world some sanity remains

[@evatripp4520]

Unlike trump who is a unnatural disaster!!!

[@falcore91]

2:45 of course I know which ones you made up.... oh crap I don’t. Yep, this is our life now.

[@1987MartinT]

Seeing the Carters kiss was cute and romantic. It's nice to see them doing fine.

[@salubrious]

And still millions of Americans continue to support this wacko. It'd almost make you lose faith in humanity altogether.

[@RCmack]

Millions of idiot Americans continue to support him. They may think Joseph Stalin is a brand of whiskey. Or that Bo and Luke Duke are brands of chewing tobacco.

[@shadowblack1987]

Yes, scary.

[@maggierezac5820]

@@RCmack And then there's this absolute paradigm shift, ALL of my family members have the R. on their Voter Registration Cards, except me. They are also highly educated & professionally successful, hell, my 'little' brother is a State Circuit Judge, yet they stand by their PARTY. The only thing I can make sense of it all is that they also proclaim to be PRO LIFE & that is the single reason they voted for this monster, who has not one scintilla of empathy for ANY life, aside from his own.

[@yxzfilestrailrides8511]

Yes who are these imbeciles? Really who? Speak up so we know who you are not to make fun of you but to honestly ask why you think this poor excuse for a human is qualified to be president not only of the USA but president of any thing that requires strong leadership, empathy, and insight of the workings of government and human relations!

[@natalie651]

At least in Americans.

[@ConstantChaos1]

Emergency medical profesional here and i would 100% classify this as a behavioural emergency meaning he needs emergency medical intervention for his mental state. Time to take him to a psych ward we've waited more than long enough

[@robyndaniell434]

Constant Chaos Seriously, how would he fare on dementia screening? Can we at least get a 72-hr stay?

[@ConstantChaos1]

@@robyndaniell434 well, like i said im just on the EMS side of things but i would say his GCS(Glasgow coma scale) would be at maybe a 10/15 (eyes 3 motor 4 and verbal 3) And his Cincinnati pre hospital stroke scale testing would be at like a 0, like holy shit he had a sevier stroke get him in RIGHT NOW, he fails the entire Cincinnati to a concerning degree His AVPU would put him at maybe A+O×1 or 2 but a normal person should be at A+O×4 at least so yeah .... im being serious he doesnt pass basic field tests to even be considered able to consent to medical transport let alone govern a country To be clear this is speculation i have not reviewed ANY of mr trumps medical data and i have not preformed any specific tests, this is purely speculation and as such this falls well under the umbrella of educational and is not a violation of any HIPAA Codes moreover since this is purely the translation of observed facts it is neither slander nor libel Edit: i would like to clarify the patient is only showing A+O×1 that is that he knows his own name it would appear -DT

[@ConstantChaos1]

If anyone wants a breakdown of that assessment i would be glad to share after all this is *FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES* please specify which part tho of you are only curious about some of it, to break it all down would take ages

[@ConstantChaos1]

@@robyndaniell434 but yeah we could easily get a 72 hour out of it and any doc worth their saline would suggest an extended stay

[@joannbowden6220]

@@ConstantChaos1 love the way u cya! BTW, I'm a retired nurse, I concur. My pretend diagnosis is tertiary syphilis! Fr, fr! He certainly acts like pts I've had that had it!

[@MartinSmith]

Believe me, it is a real emergency.....excuse me, I'm missing my tee time !!

[@sassyblondeinwa]

Notice trump totally paused after his lie about Obama...like oh shit...but I might as well keep going.

[@annesimon537]

Exactly!! The pauses were so indicative he was telling lies. Obama will fix it with the truth. Trump is just jealous Obama got the Nobel peace prize.

[@redxsage]

I expect *President Obama* to respond with, _"That lying sonuvabitch -- I said no such thing!"_

[@MistedMind]

@@redxsage Obama is MUCH too classy for that kinda language in public ;) He'd go more like with a smile: "I'm very sure I never said any such thing" and then he'd joke about how "Mr Trump" might have had a bad dream or something ;D

[@celeste1737]

A M Simon Trump is just jealous of Obama period

[@redxsage]

@@MistedMind -- True enough, _'in public'._ Like he carefully practiced calling Mitt Romney precisely *_'Governor Romney'_* EVERY time he spoke of him during the 2012 Presidential Campaign, so as to avoid caling him *_'You Stupid Motherfucker'_* as I would have. Of course, if you review those debates, it is clear his cadence when saying *_'Governor Romney'_* matched *_'You Stupid Motherfucker'_* precisely, every time. ;-)

[@alexisford3576]

The true emergency in his head😂😂😂

[@RobertBalto]

"we are going to have a national emergency"...so this is something you PLAN on happening? Shouldn't the emergency BE happening in order for you to call it an emergency? He can't even lie properly.

[@The_Green_Queen]

Classic narcissistic move bringing up the Nobel prize during the “emergency” announcement

[@anhedonicauthor]

Apparently Trump doesn’t think he’ll win, probably claiming the committee is fake news and rigged by angry Democrats, when in reality it’s because he’s done fuck all for anything, and there are people out there risking their lives by doing good things who will be the people who actually win the prize, deservingly so.

[@JYF921]

If anything, Prime Minister Abe would be privately recommending Trump for impeachment. It is known that Trump typically lies about other leaders’ opinions about himself; also, Japan partially relies on America for defense so even if Abe did nominate him then it is to please the idiot for Japan’s sake.

[@mebeingU2]

The White House asked Abe to nominate Trump. The guy didn’t do it on his own...and Trump doesn’t deserve it anyway. What a joke of a leader.

[@shelbybilicki]

It's being reported Trump asked to be nominated. They just gave him the nomination to appease the toddler president of the US.

[@roosterd6904]

Nobel piece O $hit prize maybe.

[@Opus313]

Happy President's Day! Wish the current one was worth celebrating. We can still look back fondly on Obama.

[@roni6215]

We don't have a president. Wonder who #45 will be .

[@Anamarie157]

@@roni6215 Hey, that's a great idea, when we elect the next President, make he / she #45.. If nothing else, it would make Trump really mad to be ignored..

[@roni6215]

@@Anamarie157 I'm praying Pelosi is #45 !

[@Anamarie157]

@@roni6215 Yes, I think she could be good..

[@roni6215]

@@Anamarie157 And it would mean we're rid of the drumpf and his Pence, his schizophrenic sidekick !

[@ericperry1683]

Here's an idea: Colbert for President with Jon as his VP

[@sassyblondeinwa]

And today..japans biggest newspaper told us that their leader nominated trump because the White House asked them to please nominate trump....lol he has literally asked another country to nominate him..hahahahahaha

[@bereasonable8018]

I’m annoyed they actually nominated him.

[@benzaiten933]

oh wow, that's low but it's also pathetic Japan complied.

[@robertnett9793]

Hm. Somehow I can't get rid of the feeling, that doing it AND then publishing the reason, was the most passive aggressive act one could come up with.

[@donletter9299]

I used to have respect for the Japanese. It's all gone now.

[@freethinkers9850]

This man is high on hair spray

[@tinaloveseddie]

Free Thinkers 😂

[@jandrews6254]

He should have learned not to inhale

[@powerhouse884]

Free Thinkers LMAOOO 😂

[@TheOnlyDJChillWill]

remember when we thought W Bush was the worst?

[@ericgiesel3696]

Bush had the right to ones own opinion...Residentrump is just loose in his own Head--has anyone mentioned his DADDY was as well?

[@Chunkboi]

The difference between W and 💩 is the difference between simple incompetence (“oops” which might merit civil action) and gross incompetence (a “LEEEEROY JENKINS!!!” That demands criminal proceedings).

[@TheTranquilMadness]

DJ Chill Will yep...

[@TheThemacgurl]

media still brainwashing you...Orange Man Bad is Bullshit

[@witchypoorose5196]

Yep. And before that I thought bush senior was the worst.....and before that I thought reagan was the worst.....but THIS one---- this impotent imposter potus is like a bad twilight ep.......we are living on the dumbest timeline! 🤦‍♀️🤯😬😳😱

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

Jimmy Carter is closing in on 100 years old. Can we have him as President again?

[@cmdraftbrn]

one. then reagan colluded with iran to keep the hostages so he could win the election

[@sujimtangerines]

@@cmdraftbrn Yeah, I was only 11 and questioned the timing of that release (20 minutes after inaugural address in 1981). Still bothers me, especially given the Iran Contra Affair.

[@Pete_952]

A sociopath, failed gameshow host, morally and financially bankrupt human as president. What could go wrong?

[@coolhari2000]

Don't forget we waited till he went senile.

[@couragekarnga8735]

And he knows what nuclear weapons are. Oh gods above!

[@RansomeStoddard]

Of all the game show hosts we could have gotten as President, we end up with Trump? Why have you forsaken us, Bob Barker?

[@helenlowe8445]

@@RansomeStoddard Lol🤣

[@jamesdavid6451]

Whoever came up with that "all Adams family together in one" joke really deserves a raise!

[@thechumpsbeendumped.7797]

4:45 The bald eagle takes on the bald ego.

[@laurabeaudoin3335]

LOL! Good one, sir!

[@thechumpsbeendumped.7797]

Thanks. :-)

[@darkiee69]

The "Freedom bird" wants nothing to do with Drumpf.

[@happydeedee2441]

Thank you Stephen...so happy our country has you. I try to go to sleep each night with a big LOL! And you kind sir, supply us with that each night. Peace friend. 😊❤

[@RF-ng9xm]

This was gold, thanks Stephen!

[@irondragonmaiden]

You leave the Addams family out of this, they are perfectly lovely people!

[@LordNanfoodle]

Give me Fester Addams over Alex Jones any day!!

[@HalfDemonInuyasha]

The way he says, "get a fair shake" with regards to the Supreme Court. Sounds like he's expecting Kavanaugh and Gorsuch to pay the debts they owe for being put there.

[@joannajamerson35]

Exactly

[@maggierezac5820]

@@joannajamerson35 Yep, Cheers! 🍻

[@hazukichanx408]

Which begs the question, "If the Supreme Court is supposed to be neutral... why not make it completely *illegal* for anyone belonging to a political party to nominate people to it, nor be nominated to it?" Why not separate that segment of the power triangle so that neither of the two parties can contaminate one-third of the nation's power structure with biased partisan pawns? Just... get some actual neutral mediators up there. Neither party should control the courts!

[@alfreddeneumann]

I'm embarrassed every time #45 speaks.....and I'm not even American.

[@elizabethmatthews7992]

As an American, for me, it’s excruciating. Oy.

[@enriqueali]

@domhnall777 I'd say an embarrassment mostly to his parents and teachers. They're the ones who should have had the most influence on him in his formative years. As someone else noted, this man appears to be a severely damaged individual in many ways.

[@cezarcatalin1406]

enriqueali This is exactly why most if not all billionaires don't deserve to have that much power.

[@MrJok3rz]

He is an embarrassment to humanity and progress itself. This is a living example of evolution at its worst.

[@pinkprincess2000]

It's idiotic that Democrats are not constantly talking about improving conditions in Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador. That should be a main talking point repeated on the news channels along with their simpleton "no wall" retort. The U.S has always been the dominant influence in those countries so improving those economies and working conditions should not be difficult. To start with, CAFTA should be renegotiated so the U.S. isn't being as exploitive. For example, letting El Salvador put tariffs on U.S. imports, like agriculture, so they can compete on a local level. Something Trump should be able to identify with as he is taking on the same issue with China. The U.S. could also support better regulation and worker's rights within those countries so that there is not such a corrupt mafioso type of relationship between those governments and the private sector, as this has also helped to create their gangland culture. These are common sense approaches which would help our neighbors to the South improve their economies, decrease violence, and reduce the refugee count. All of which would then help the U.S. with their border insecurity.

[@Everettel]

Lord help us if we ever have a real world disaster with this president!

[@jbusa6630]

Puerto Rico.....that's what happens

[@imperator5228]

We did, Puerto Rico's broken.

[@ValerieJNorse]

@@runsnaked9253 -- And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I keep saying that punctuation matters even as people roll their eyes. What Everettel meant was not a "real world disaster," but a "real-world disaster."

[@magcooper255]

This president is the national disaster

[@milcotto4153]

@Jim Chambers - And you just read the comments so you are not an idiot? LOL!

[@mickreaddin4979]

Pence mentions the name of Trump in a room packed full of world leaders, and even the crickets were to ashamed to make a sound.

[@RansomeStoddard]

I think he's still waiting for the applause.

[@BlueEyes-WhiteDrag0n]

@@RansomeStoddard lol i can imagine him still standing there with No one in the room still waiting....

[@helenlowe8445]

😂 Right!!

[@JVenger]

@@RansomeStoddard legend has it...

[@sharonsmalls6846]

Fifty 1 Fifty Lol 🤣😂

[@XHeroZA]

John. Legend musician. What a duo he completes with Stephen. One of the worlds best comedians with one of the no. t musicians. It’s going to be top notch.

[@MagusFyre]

Calls for a state of emergency.... Goes golfing that weekend... Yup, hes definitely treating it as an emergency alrite...

[@jbusa6630]

It's better than throwing shit at hurricane survivors again.

[@faceoff3315]

*M.a.G.a My Administration getting Arrested*

[@xlogosx]

So true!

[@jesuschristthemosthighgod3094]

Face Off 😂😂

[@paulabrown6840]

I could watch Colbert for hours!

[@SereniaSaissa]

me too!! He is so funny - well the monologues certainly are!!!!

[@John-vp2jq]

There’s something fundamentally symbolic/appropriate about America’s national bird physically attacking Donald Trump’s person.

[@whoRwe02]

USA Laws, Lawmakers and lawbreakers. This is when laws are broken by lawmakers and those who don't respect USA laws. Lawmakers became lawbreakers by creating "sanctuaries" or "shields or diversions" to those who broke the laws. Be aware, when these lawmakers became lawbreakers - corruption thrives with the created accumulated problems. Lawmakers became PART of the problem. With the inflow of lawbreakers from the border for whatever reasons (business on drugs, human trafficking, dreams of better finances, fame, and all things related to earning money) - USA lawmakers/politicians did only deliver speeches of good intentions but made tiny effort to do actions to solve the problems of immigration in the Mexican border. Problems accumulated all years - exploitation, a business for the dark side - lawbreakers hide from the law, bite the negatives for survival. Logically business exploits and make exchanges untraceable. Be aware of your border wall and its conditions - the root of all questions in your community about sources and effects of illegal drugs, guns, prostitution, addicts, crimes, black commodities and the UNDOCUMENTED. Government people and the system corrupts itself. Politicians/"experts" deliver PERSONAL opinions and blinded on the actual events and actual facts at the border - one or the main root of the problems. OR maybe the politics and politicians are the root problem. Have you seen these politicians/elites at the Mexican border PHYSICALLY PRESENT to see the problems and its conditions (without scripts/arranged visits)? Politicians are CONFINED of their debates within the WALLS and offices of Congress and spill opinions/concerns. You had also seen these politicians their "concerned" views and speeches with few, some or majority of lawbreakers on TV, internet and streets..... You got walls in your house (the rich and famous got fences), your room got walls, your babies got crib fences TO PROTECT whatever. You got your own laws - stand to it and protect your love ones from intruders and from the hard-headed (Why contaminate yourselves from things you knew it is bad.). You are smarter than your politicians. Build the border wall - you are fully aware of big USA BUDGET - the wall is a tiny fraction cost to solve and control the inflow of lawbreakers who creates problems (estimated @500 to 1200 on daily basis). Let the immigrants go to LEGAL process. This is just an opinion intended not to influence anyone. You are smart, and awareness of USA laws let you get smarter (You may copy this opinion if you think it is good. Avoid if it is bad. They say it is freedom of some sort. Maybe it is politics - a choice between good and/or bad). Have a nice coffee.

[@augustpolca612]

whoRwe02 lol

[@roy2net]

whoRwe02

[@aaronmackay6123]

It is really ironic. It was one of my favourite animal moments. Right under the guy with the "he's a nice cat" and then gets a cat attached to his nuts.

[@joannajamerson35]

Omg...that was funny

[@loved1lost333]

My stomach hurts from laughing so hard. You’re nuts and I love it!

[@nocturnalsomething5360]

Remember the good old days when there was only ONE 'Annoying orange' ?

[@phyllishahart6111]

Tarun Kumar you my friend, have won the comment section 😂😂

[@brainflash1]

I made that same joke on another youtube video years ago and I can't for the life of me find it again. I'm leaving this reply so I can find your's instead :P

[@Asher_Tye]

Didn't like the first one, have no idea why a second one showed up.

[@MindfulProgramming]

@@brainflash1 IIRC you can look up your comment history

[@marshwetland3808]

@@MindfulProgramming I don't think you can look up your comment history anymore.

[@shawnsimmons1308]

That Jon Batiste!! Master of the Smoothest Chords!!

[@RCmack]

Jon Batiste for President! Batiste/Rev. Al Sharpton 2020!!!

[@JafferCakeCastle]

"He nailin' that b#" Hahaha!

[@Starkada]

Breaking News: The FBI just raided President Trump's personal library. All 3 books were seized. The president is absolutely furious because.... ...he hadn't finished coloring them yet

[@maineyor5343]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....BEST comment of the MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....lol

[@jbusa6630]

🤣🤣🤣🤣Dude you deserve a trophy for that🏆👍

[@joannbowden6220]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@dj_617]

Old George W. Joke

[@Bluargh02]

Lmao, good one

[@nunnayrbznez7745]

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the beautiful kiss of President Carter ad his wife. Now that is a REAL President! May we all have love and kindness at that age!

[@aaronk391]

For a President of the most powerful country in the world to spent so much time doing nothing else but just being so full of himself and nobody can stop it, that is scary.

[@CrimsonBlasphemy]

Oh the GOP could stop him. And it wouldn't even take all of them. Just enough to get a super majority. But they are Complicit. Ultimately it's not about the corruption of one man. It is the corruption of nearly a whole party, who have completely abandoned their own postions in an effort to "own the libs" at all costs, and suppress the non-whites. Party before Country, because they believe their Party is the country. But there are no good men in the GOP part of the Senate.

[@fukatrumume9750]

Thank you SC for your service.

[@Squaliebawse]

I honestly don't know which one he made up... That's sad

[@TankUSA]

4:59 Trump raps with the cadence of every suburban mom in America but with the words of a drunk and senile Dr Seuss

[@marshwetland3808]

And every bitchy bf/gf.

[@emeken]

Don't worry he's not drunk, it's Adderall

[@wagherbert]

OMG. He does speak like a drunk and senile cat in the hat !! That's who he is !!! You have nailed it!!!

[@victoriabaker4400]

Nope. Dr Seuss was clever and on point. tRump is nothing like that.

[@DebbieDenkeMusic]

I could simply watch these to catch all the timely music punctuations coming from pianist/director Jon Batiste. 0:54 he quotes "Prelude to a Kiss" spot on, Jon!

[@ValerieJNorse]

I always appreciate it when someone names the musical bits. Sometimes they go too fast for me to catch, or I simply don't know the piece, and it's always fun to know what Batiste came up with.

[@carlottalacy3462]

Stephen and his writers are just brilliant.

[@yabutmaybenot.6433]

I'm sure everyone at the Nobel committee had a good laugh reading Shinzo Abe's letter recommending Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize. I'm sure the copy sent to Trump removed the very important last line *SERIOUSLY JUST JOKING!*

[@Kr-nv5fo]

They gave some prizes to people who then went on to be renowned for drone strikes or munching popcorn while watching genocide. Wouldn't be too much of a stretch to give Trump one too.

[@gceElwood]

I want proof there was even a letter sent to the Nobel committee! I mean - look who's word we are taking for it. Pah-lease!!!!

[@yabutmaybenot.6433]

@@Kr-nv5fo That's a fair point. They have handed out the prize to some pretty despicable people. But they also did most of their crimes *after* getting the prize, or they were able to hide their crimes until after they got the prize. Obama might not have been as stupid or racist as Trump, but he was just as guilty of war crimes under the Nuremburg standards.

[@MDonovan]

google "trump peace prize" and you'll see the White House asked Abe to nominate him

[@ArtisticlyAlexis]

It's such a farce, because trump asked him to write the letter. What idiot does that and then brags about it?

[@treavam5653]

Unbelievable. This is so funny. I agree - thank you Stephen! And please thank your writers, too!

[@emma_de_dilemma]

Man, I have never had such an appreciation for comedy until Trump became President and comedy was my lifeline. Stephen, you are such a comedic light, and boy, Jon, your piano playing makes me smile. By the way, did anyone catch that bit Jon says at 8:14? Can anyone tell me what that means?

[@emma_de_dilemma]

@john suarez Thank you!

[@timonmyside6591]

I think Ann Coulter, of all people, best summed this up when she tweeted "The Only National Emergency Is That Our President Is An Idiot"

[@BognaZone]

After all these years, who knew she would become rekevant,?, smh

[@timonmyside6591]

@@BognaZone - In life there are only three certainties: death, taxes and that Ann Coulter is never at a loss for an opinion.

[@bast713]

I struggle to find polite words for how much I dislike that woman. But just this once she's right.

[@timonmyside6591]

@@bast713 - I think it’s quite telling she would risk the ire of Trump’s base and the hard right to attack Trump. I think she can sense the emperor may soon be seen with no clothes. And she’d rather be doing the pointing (whilst selling a book about it) than desperately looking for some clothes to give him!

[@thedude2634]

Most of the time I dont think he even knows what he is talking about if this is a real national emergency what do we think when a real one comes............ .

[@jbusa6630]

Puerto Rico ring a bell? He gave himself an A+ on that one, and called the death count fake

[@rutsche644]

As always a good job Stephen!!! How the F..k could this DT 1st-grader come to power!? This kid is absolutely unbearable! God bless the US, we in Europe regret your fate!

[@oldladywhocares3223]

Most of us are in tears, most of the time.

[@millilear4210]

Rutsche 64 thank you for your kind thought. We have 2 years to go. Can’t wait for him to be ousted!!!

[@cezarcatalin1406]

milli lear Don't wait 2 years. Yank that mouldy orange out of there and hurl it out the path of prosecutions.

[@MrJok3rz]

as joe biden said to the rest of the world, with applauds and cheers behind his words.. "We will be back, Do not worry, We will return"

[@Hooyahfish]

Trump came to my college today. FIU. Protests all over campus! Wooo!

[@colleen3107]

Hooyahfish, you never hear about those. Last fall Trump announced he was going to visit Ireland in November. I have friends in Belfast and even the Northern Irelanders were set to go down and protest. Trump got wind of then protests and cancelled the trip. Hahahaha

[@mlghelp2day]

"You're there to announce a national emergency....not talk about awards that you're NEVER gonna get." Soooooo true! 😃😅

[@Inatsikap]

Trump Makes Homer Simpson look like Einstein

[@cezarcatalin1406]

Inatsikap Trump makes anyone except his supporters look like Einstein.

[@marcomontecino5161]

Haha, that's hilarious.

[@jasonboggs2835]

In what way?

[@kuruptzZz]

Trump makes george w look like a scholar

[@jasonboggs2835]

@@kuruptzZz In what way?

[@Possum260571]

I'm an Aussie, all I can say is get out to vote in 2020, all the angst in the world won't get rid of Trump unless you good people vote to get rid of him although Mueller might get him first with any luck.

[@robprocks]

Wishful thinking on the Mueller part, he has to go!!!!

[@TheKaiTetley]

This is an emergency...I didn’t need to do it.

[@tonyvatour6507]

"Clumsy crisis foreplay " lol, love it

[@tommyl.dayandtherunaways820]

Jimmy Carter 2020? 😅 I will take any Democrat over Trump right now, he's a walking national emergency.

[@MD-vs9ff]

I'd take a Magic 8 Ball over Trump.

[@DavidCrossman1]

@oth completely useless.

[@shanxious]

Next time let him fall asleep so we don’t have to deal with him

[@jesuschristthemosthighgod3094]

Shanna S 😂😂 Nice ..

[@ltm3368]

DEAD at the ‘North Korean dictator and all the members of the Addams Family combined’ Way too good, I spat out my food XD

[@LrnecBuma]

We have a URGENT national emergency. But not so urgant that I miss a weekend of golf.....? Realy?

[@Bandit-ci3tq]

Its Urgent... not Urgant..

[@LrnecBuma]

@@Bandit-ci3tq gee thanks I'll just edit that in

[@charlleedodson]

I don’t know if I can handle another year of this crap

[@kylestubbs8867]

Charllee Dodson Well, this comment is a year old. How are you doing?

[@johnnyr1co695]

This lego movie thing was brilliant, nearly died laughing!!!

[@The8347135]

I don't want to speak for Trump but he told me he was guilty on all charges

[@chrissiek8706]

And then some! 😏

[@ahselef3471]

😁😂

[@markplott4820]

some DAY soon, TRUMP will slip up and Admit on Video that he LIED and is Complicit.

[@Chunkboi]

Mark Plott nah, he’ll be saying “No collusion, I never committed a crime, I’m not in Leavenworth, Paul Manafort isn’t my cellmate...”

[@sdfkjgh]

Mark Plott: SOME DAY SOON? Oh, you sweet summer child. trump's CONSTANT self-contradiction is evidence enough of his fabrication. For every trump comment, there is at least one equal & opposite comment captured in posterity that directly contradicts it.

[@smashingpots9928]

Holy crap colbert did the Torah right to left, not many get that right

[@ParisVan-Del]

IKR!!!🤣🤣🤣 I SPIT OUT MY WATER!!!

[@davidescobar3368]

@@ParisVan-Del I almost did lol

[@ParisVan-Del]

@@davidescobar3368 Baruk Ata Adonai!👍

[@timothymccaskey4362]

Smashing Pots: You remember that World War ll movie from the 70's about the first 5 books of the Holy Bible. Torah, Torah, Torah.

[@AreaLabMen]

Stephen Colbert has a genius-level intelligence. Remember that one of his best friends is Niel deGrasse Tyson.

[@jamessmithe5490]

Actually I'm very impressed at how good Carter looks like at 96 and still devoted to the very comely Rosalyn. Obviously his service to others and love for his wife has lengthened his longevity. Such a contrast to the sack of sludge that is Trump.