The Normalization Of The Toxic Shopping Addiction And Why It's Keeping Us Poor

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Struggling with impulsive spending? I created a free 14 day journal with prompts to help you start the process towards mindful spending, heres the link! fourteendayjournal.myflodesk.com/2553181e-34cc-4be8-9fe4-599721e98ddd Happy journalling!

[@maryjomichele]

I think this has a LOT to do with it. I’ve been a shopper for many many years before the internet existed; however I definitely think the rise of social, and the pandemic just exacerbated it. It’s been a problem for a lot of people for a very long time though.

[@cheryltamelcoff2557]

I think it has a lot to do with it. I would not know about 3/4 of the stuff out there if it wasn’t for social media

[@flohough1870]

It's always been an issue. I had a family member who suffered from it years ago before the internet was a thing. I just think social media has made it worse.

[@SundayRose99]

Absolutely, this is an amazing video! Enlightening ♥️♥️♥️

[@KateMorganStyle]

I’m also satisfied this is where women read girls just want to have funds and organize their closets on those trends while studying investments

[@donnamoore9898]

Boom! The unspoken pink elephant in the room. Most women are drowning in stuff, stuff that once obtained is quickly passed over for the hunt for the newest new thing. Rarely once obtained are we happy and fulfilled with purchased item and the search continues. In the process we are sacrificing the financial health of our future self and damaging our planet for future generations. We really are just slightly smarter apes still vying for status through the dopamine hit of consumerism. Caitlin, this new direction you have been taking lately is important work. I applaud you. X

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

You hit the nail on the head 👏 Thankyou ❤️

[@rijd2304]

I just finished "30 Days to Stop Being a Shopaholic" by Harper Daniels. It was a cool mindfulness exercise book and something I needed. I guess whatever helps us feel more grounded and less attached to stuff.

[@katec9893]

I love how you phrased this about the apes. For me I realised I used to shop because clothes were an armour against bullying, which reminds me of pack animals and their hierarchies. Now that I'm no longer around those people I no longer need the armour, but it also left me feeling a bit lost and confused about what to wear.

[@debbiedetorre2464]

Well said

[@crystallewis5902]

I've learned to stop looking at sales as a bargain. You're not saving 40%, you're spending 60% (or whatever percent the item is after the discount). If the sale is on an item you were planning to buy anyway, then it's actually a deal and worth it to buy the item during the sale. But if you're buying an item just because it's on sale, especially if it's an item you weren't paying attention to at all before the sale, it's probably not a good purchase. I've slowed down on buying clothes and shoes, but I've gotten into handbags lately and I also love fine jewelry. I am always finding pieces of jewelry I like, but I tend to wait at least a few months before buying a piece of jewelry. Part of this is because I'm typically waiting to get some sort of discount (a coupon, a sale, shopping around to find the item cheaper, etc.), but it also allows me time to see if the item is still on my wishlist. About 80% of the time, the piece ends up either much lower on my list, or I've basically forgotten about it. I've also learned that I have a tendency of not buying the items at the top of my wishlist (which often tend to be the most expensive) and instead buying 2-3 other pieces on my wishlist that don't satisfy me as much. So now I'm trying to prioritize buying the pieces I genuinely want the most. I've noticed that I tend to look for clothing/bags/jewelry when I'm bored. I still do this, but I'm better about not buying as much. But I think shopping while bored relates back to loneliness, as you mentioned: I'm single and several of my friendships have diminished in recent years. So yes, buying pretty things is definitely a way to fill a void.

[@apacius69]

P

[@for833]

You are so right! Sales are just deceitful. You end up spending more than what you were originally intending to purchase for items that you don't really want. They also do it in a way that makes you feel obliged to purchase. They get the cashier or sales associate to tell you that you can get another item such percent off and then you feel that peer pressure to buy it.

[@BluebreezeRose]

Spending to save, a lot of companies are doing this now. Spend $xx to get a sale or free items. Even the luxury beauty. Even if it’s items we use daily, companies/retailers asking us to buy in bulk contributing are to the overconsumption. One backup is ok, but 2 or 3 of everything where’s the space to hold. I’m having a hard time now containing everything. 😭 But yes, reflecting on my past two years I’m realizing I have a shopping addiction, I want to stop and retake control.

[@laurens7431]

AA says the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety, it's connection.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

So true ❤️

[@killershrimpx]

I realised I had a shopping addiction about 10 years ago and once I admitted it to myself I set about monitoring my behaviour whenever I shopped. I shopped because I was so unhappy with my overworked life and so I cheered myself up with shopping online and instore in my lunch breaks and day off. I started noticing my heart rate would go up when I saw something that I wanted and normally I would get it straight away. But I started to stop the impulsive buy it now by picking it up, holding it against myself looking in the mirror, then walking around the shop holding the item like I was intending to buy it but kept looking at it holding in front of the mirror countless times until my lunch break was nearly over and I didn't have enough time left to actually buy it. But what I realised was by holding it and looking at it so many times I sort of got over the actually wanting to go back and get it. Online I would go back to an item countless times putting it in my basket then coming out without clicking the pay button. Doing all those little things really curbed the impulsive behaviour which I now have pretty much under control. Also seeing everything you own in one place has quite a sobering effect, I had a loft filled with years worth of clothes that I have sorted and taken to charity or sold and once you've spent a year or 3 doing that you become reluctant to bring more stuff in. I eventually cleared the debt that came with that addiction and Im never going back. Sorry this is so long but hope it helps someone.

[@bayanbishara6666]

thank you so much for sharing, love and prayers🧡

[@emerybayblues]

Thank you for posting this. I’m going through this now. A lot of my shopping is due to stress and unhappiness.

[@kimze1989]

Also the thing with addiction is.... it's for life you always have to work AGAINST your addiction for the rest of your life. It's so easy to fall back into old habits.

[@amethyst4424]

Interesting comment, as I hadn't considered this in terms of shopping addiction, but in fact, it is even more of a challenge, as abstaining from shopping completely is not possible in the way that one can from other addictive behaviours such as smoking or drinking. So the potential for relapse is present with every necessary purchase. I suppose vigilance is the main prevention.

[@crystalpowell8619]

I know you mentioned that you believe that it happens mostly to millennials and I am letting you know that there are women who have spent the whole lives in the throes of the cycle of addictive shopping. I was poor as a kid, and as an adult I thought that shopping and the abilty to have tons and tons of things, some of them being designer handbags and shoes, would validate my existence. I still struggle, but I am working hard to live more minimally.

[@lr3361]

All age groups can fall into this .. me included

[@briannegarcia8265]

I agree

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou for this perspective xx

[@georgerubio6317]

I grew up in a lower middle class family, and felt like I was denied so much throughout my life. When I first got a job, I was spending 15k+ a year on clothes, dining out, and gifts. I didn’t understand that I was trying to cope with childhood trauma or struggling with lifestyle inflation (I started dating someone much above my financial standing). I wish I had a better understanding of what shopping addiction was, and try my best not to beat myself up. If I knew then what I know now thanks to people like you, I’d have a down payment on a home. Thank you for sharing. You seem to be a wonderful person, and I hope you have many fulfilling friendships and relationships in your future.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou so much for watching ❤️

[@bianca5873]

I have evolved from being a fashion participator to a fashion consumer. What that means is that I consume fashion with my eyes :) much like going to a museum and admiring great works, I love watching blogs and scrolling sites and admiring beautiful things. Human beings are hardwired to peruse beauty. Beauty in nature, people, things and ourselves. But I no longer participate in the purchase and modelling of these works of art and fashion pieces because just like fine art, I can appreciate it in the moment and admire the item as well as the artist and the owner… without losing my sense of self. You can look at, think about and talk about new collections like you would with works of art without owning it and still step away feeling richer for having appreciated it. Looking does not need to be a guilty pleasure…

[@LoveLove-qm6ye]

Oh wow! I love and so needed this comment…as of this moment, I truly feel an instant shift. Thank you 💕

[@ayoolaladega5025]

Spot on. It’s like any other addiction.

[@user-iw8qb1mu6g]

Thank you. I went into huge credit card and store card debt after the passing of my parents and it highlighted that I had been using shopping to balance my emotions. Watching this and having someone speak about it out loud is just so, so validating. And again I thank you 😊

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

I’m sorry for your loss ❤️ I am glad you are in a better place now and on the right track again xx

[@bondanoz]

I think not being questioned isn't just from things being normalised, but also because if you question things people tend to get angry / offended. "Mind your own business, I can spend my money how I want to." This can be said for many different aspects of our lives

[@for833]

Hahaha! This is so true! I see it all the time with my clients. I try to challenge their behaviours and they are like "no, that's not going to work", it can be kind of frustrating to be honest, they want to change, but also don't want to hear the options as to how to make those changes.

[@bstrong5016]

I have steered clear of shopping by refocusing my attention on learning about money and investing. It never interested me before, but there are great KZbinrs who are women who inspire me to do good things with my money instead of spending it. It sounds boring but it is not! Just sharing what helped me. You're a smart woman Caitlin, you can do anything you want :)

[@bstrong5016]

For example, $1 dollar invested when you're 20 becomes $88.00 by the time you retire. Can you imagine how stinking' rich we could all be if we invested all of the money we spent on bags and shoes...etc. instead of shopping?

[@stabloona468]

Hi, I’d like to know which were the KZbinrs who inspired you

[@phantomthread4385]

I had to unsubscribe from a certain influencer after she got fendi and chanel bags for turning 30. It was such a ridiculous haul and I felt queasy watching it considering the cost of living crisis going on. The rampant consumerism for luxury goods is making people mentally I'll and creating a void of want, greed and envy. I love the way you are moving away from it. It's really mature of you the way you are moving on.

[@y.preyer]

You unsubscribed her because you are envious that she got 2 bags for her birthday and you not.

[@imalrockme]

@@y.preyer You can put it that way but it was still a sensible and smart move. If someone makes you feel envy for having a luxury useless accessory, better to unfollow, otherwise you'll find yourself spending money the wrong way.

[@tamiewert808]

​@@y.preyeryou have no idea about who this person is do you?? Maybe close your pie hole and stop psychoanalyzing random strangers in the internet!! Why do women feel it necessary to judge other women! Just because someone thinks it's gross to get multiple luxury gifts for a birthday does not denote "jealousy"! 😂 good luck with that! I sincerely doubt you have many friends!!

[@justinebailey5333]

​@@y.preyeryou sound d##b

[@sammy1972ish]

Another great video! I feel like you are describing my life. Unfortunately I didn’t wake up until I was 60. Sold every bag I had, finally realized that nobody cares what I carry. I regret not keeping a bag or two. I still struggle with addiction, online shopping is too easy. I’m alone too and I used shopping to make myself feel better. After all, no one is going to buy me anything, so I feel like I have to treat myself. I won’t rest until I find a preloved bag that I can call mine, just one designer bag. 🤷‍♀️😂 Love you, keep up the great work ❤

[@kateanette9398]

I think the answer is just living within your means. If something makes you happy, it's okay, as long as it doesn't get you in financial trouble. That's why I stick to the mid range designers like Coach, Minkoff. LRL etc. They have some amazing designs and great quality. I'm not anxious using (and/ or ruining) them, but having a few beautiful bags makes me happy :) They're still not cheap, either. Spending 200-400 on a handbag (on sale) is a lot to many of us.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou for being so open ❤️

[@mumufried9083]

I think that the fact that you used to introduce your videos with your usual funny : " Its a DISEEEAAAASE !!" is testimony that you were somehow aware of your shopping addiction problem all along. I too have had the same disease for some time now and am also looking to get a cure

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Maybe you’re right funnily though I don’t think I was self aware enough to contemplate the ramifications xx

[@Prettywins]

@@CaitlinPawlowskiI’m thinking you were aware subconsciously but not consciously…we always know we just choose to ignore … sad but true 🙁

[@elisollle]

Everything you say is 100% accurate for me. I spent 1 year on therapy in 2022 at 45 yo after having spent 25 years as a shopaholic…. I was treated by an addiction specialist and indeed I was one on the only shopping addict consulting in that clinic. My trigger is being bored and the need of being constantly excited to get new stuff.

[@turtleanton6539]

Very real😊

[@marynorton6068]

Yep. I shopped to fill a void. I had kids and just stopped. Then I started to get my life and figure back and I bought some clothes going back to work. I felt great. And the addiction took hold again. My current triggers are work stress and when my narcissistic mother makes me feel like poop. I don’t get the high opening the package. I get the high wearing the clothes and feeling great.

[@Pink_glam10]

You have literally explained me and what I went thru exactly. Packages every day, people literally knowing my name at certain stores, the feelings I would get before my package arrived and the down slide of happiness after I received it. My fiancé did tell me I shopped to much but he didn’t want to force me to stop. I can’t even explain to you what happened that made me realize I had a problem but I just got overwhelmed with everything I owned. I have slowly been de cluttering over the last year and there is still so much to go thru and it’s hard to let some stuff go. I still shop and I do get caught up in the hype sometimes but it’s not as often and way less. I try so hard lol your videos have truly been really helpful especially since I watched your luxury videos and loved them and it’s like I transitioned with you 😅🤍

[@warthog473]

A lady my mom knows is addicted to shopping. Her whole downstairs is full of bags of clothes that don't get worn, or get worn once. She donates bags and bags of clothes with the tags on them so she has room for more bags.

[@amara560]

My MIL struggled with a shopping addiction and subsequent hoarding. It was hard to see her suffer 😢 so many unopened bags and boxes as well.

[@kyleechristensen2217]

I know this is an older video now, but just wanted to add that I’m finding your videos on this subject really helpful. I’m 40yo and spent about 17 years in drug addiction. 6 years ago when I got sober, I started filling my extra time and emotional void with shopping. Being unhappy with my body and not enjoying buying clothing, I found myself spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on makeup and fragrances every year. I have NO BUSINESS spending that kind of money, but I’m working my way out of it now and taking a hard look at each of my purchases, really feeling like a grown up finally 😁

[@kpops168]

I think it affects older women more or at least as much. From what I have seen it is very common among women in their 50s and 60s. My mum is 80 and she is caught in a constant cycle of spending and while she doesn’t spend much and doesn’t have much to spend, she’s always giving in even if it’s to go to the supermarket three times in one day. It’s compulsive and I am happy she isn’t able to purchase things online! I feel sometimes if she didn’t travel multiple times to the supermarket she simply wouldn’t know what to do all day. It’s sad but she is beyond help at this point. Seeing her go through that has helped me pull back as I don’t want that life.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou for sharing this perspective x

[@Gooeybrowniebaby]

Why are you retelling the story of my life? 😂 😭 I’m glad I’m not the only one though. Recently I’ve been so obsessed with ultra luxury skincare because, like you, I’ve just hit the 30 milestone and freaking out over every single crease on my skin. Because deep down I feel like I am not a place in life where I think I should be. Thank you for making me feel like I am not alone. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Iquey]

The economy doesn't pay attention to a problem unless it puts people in the hospital or affects men negatively. That's why shopping addiction isn't really acknowledged much. The economy and power structures in place encourage it. If women all stopped shopping for a year or three, for any non essentials, actual non essentials, they would end the current economy and force it to change

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

You are so right!

[@Kay_D.]

I've started to recognize the link between my A.D.D. and lack of impulse control. My shopping trigger is stress/depression. I'm trying hard to recover.😅

[@MillaBella]

Such an important topic that is definitely not spoken about enough. Thank you for covering it and sharing your own story. My younger self relates so much with what you shared 💕

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou for watching 🥰

[@catherinele1580]

I am a self confessed shopaholic 🤑 and yes luxury shopping 🛍️ and I decided i had to stop and take control of my life because it was getting overwhelming and out of control 😅 p.s my DHL delivery lady thinks same

[@ZurieRae]

It’s definitely an underrated addiction. I constantly half to check myself. I didn’t partake in any summer sales including Amazon prime. It’s ridiculous.

[@dahliacheung6020]

I cleaned my room the other day and by cleaned I don't mean I just straightened up and dusted/swept. I mean I got rid of stuff, gathered up things I intend to donate, etc, and at one point I broke down crying and had to speak to my mom. I told her I think I'm a hoarder with a shopping addiction. I haven't even talked to my therapist or doctors about this and I've been seeing them for years but I decided I'm going to not only seek help but help myself as well. Today I went to the store and saw these glitter pens (already have enough of those but they're gel and these were brush tip) and gold glitter liquid eyeliner (I have three or four glitter palettes that I can get the same effect with using a small pointed or angled brush.) I picked them up but when I was walking up to pay I told myself exactly what I wrote above in parentheses and I PUT. THEM. BACK. I didn't need them and I'm proud of myself because I know I did the right thing. 😊 Great video and thank you for sharing your own issues with this openly 💖

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou for sharing ❤️

[@louisdog4333]

You're talking about a 'dopamine spike' that all addicts go through.. with drugs, alcohol, etc. well done recognising its pattern. good luck

[@ubiquitousflow]

This reminds me so much of why I started watching Hannah Louise Poston's old no buy and beauty budget videos. I had to make way for life changes, and 2020 did a number on my consumption habits. I just want to go back to the days where I shopped once a season instead of being "on the hunt"

[@heidijay5902]

I think loneliness is the trigger for most people, & even when there are great people in our life we can still feel lonely. In fact my loneliest days were spent in a room full of people who claimed to love me (they are great people, just not the right ones for me). Stress & uncertainty are definitely triggers for me as is loneliness (but for me it’s specifically the loneliness caused by feeling isolated within a group of people). I’m definitely going to have a further look at limbic marketing, thanks for the tip. Great topic as always Caitlin, absolutely loving this new direction.

[@marikkelaszlo3355]

Same, this is definitely true for me because when I was in middle school, I had lots of friends and even though I didn't have that much money, I never really shopped, I only used drawing as a form of therapy, now that I'm in college and I don't really have friiends but I DO have money, I now use it sometimes to feel happy and I see myself spending on a lot of subscriptions or virtual items.

[@amarjotsingh8455]

@@marikkelaszlo3355I’m 30 and I’m just starting to recover from my shopping addiction. It def got worse during quarantine.. I am tempted sometimes but now I stick with my wishlist or i fill up the cart and never check out 😂

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

This is so relatable Thankyou for sharing 🥰

[@quietowl1246]

I have got into large amounts of debt 3 times in my life! 3 times! The third time is the last. I’m now conquering my issues with money and changing my relationship with money. People are quick to say you’re foolish but we have consumerism literally rammed down our throats! It’s a pleasure to live with less stuff once you’re aware of what you’re doing. Intend to be debt free by 2025 🎉

[@fabtya1306]

The best video you ever posted ❤. I’m so inspired by you Caitlin. All of us make mistakes, but again if we willingly take our time to learn from our mistakes, we will be better human beings 🥰🙏🏼

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

🥰🥰

[@olivrose9226]

I recently cleared 16 large kitchen bags full of clothing... I never get rid of clothing, it just sits in my closets and bottom of drawers. Finally did it

[@coldTEARx3]

PREACH! I have recently realised that I also have a shopping addiction. I realised I was sending parcels to me ex's house to avoid the jokes from my family about the number of parcels I got. I've gone through a major declutter of my closet to sell my things and am slowly going through my other clutter too. I actually downloaded styledapp to see what clothes I have and boy do I have A LOT. But it stops my shopping as I have to see if I have anything similar or decide if I really want anything else. It's great coz it feels that shopping void in my life as I feel i am shopping my wardrobe.

[@merrywalsh2809]

Shopping has always been like a hobby for me. The thrill of the hunt of a great item at a discount, the elation I felt when I bought it. The nearly immediate downslope that has me thinking of the next purchase. Luckily for me, I never purchased anything I could not pay for in full in the month I purchased it. Influencers turbocharged my “hobby” which threatened to veer out of control as I bought one designer bag after another. I would be lonely, they would be my friends. They would look amazing with their try on hauls. I told myself these items were my reward for being fiscally responsible. They were my bucket list items. I’m done. I don’t need any more bags. I will use the ones I have. You are doing a great service with your new direction Caitlin. You are still my friend lol. I have unsubscribed from the most shameless of influencers.

[@heeyabbott9838]

This is so good! I love that you are using your voice to shine light on a topic that has overwhelmingly overtaken social media by "silent" storm. It's *not* normal to shop as much as is being portrayed, and it is easy to get caught up in the fervor without thinking through why we are behaving this way as a society. Keep up the good work around this topic; women of all ages need to know they don't NEED to shop!!! ❤

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thank you so much!! ❤️❤️

[@Prettywins]

Declutter can be overwhelming. I m doing it right now and it’s been a month and still going. I’m also working on my mental state…. It’s aloooot😢

[@warthog473]

I do it in small increments, do a junk drawer, do one closet, do another closet. Even doing one whole room at one time is too much, it takes all day

[@thevioletgirl17]

Feels so good to see a KZbinr addressing this issue. Even I’m a shipping addict and managing it for years now. Much love

[@drlessismore]

Love the direction your Channel is going. ❤ The best is when other influencers would tell us how they saved $1000’s of dollars they saved…..buying something they didn’t need. Glad you found love. You deserve it. ❤❤❤

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou so much ❤️

[@angelinebiswas7611]

Skincare shopping addiction I will say especially Korean skincare is a HUGE PROBLEM. I’ll just leave it at that with my 3 drawers I’d just moisturizers and another 6 of serums and sunscreens it’s not ok. I’ve been decluttering and on a no buy now for 3 months. It’s ridiculously difficult but I’ve had to unsub from dozens of brand emails, texts influencers tiktoks Instagram. I just had to basically go cold Turkey because I am sooo easily influenced to buy crap I don’t need

[@hilaryms]

Girl, I hear you. That whole rollercoaster of emotions that you experienced… completely me. I’ve spent way too much money on things that I don’t need over the past couple of months. I’m now doing a no-buy for August and am paying my credit card off 100%! Thanks for sharing ❤

[@SuperMags01]

This is such an honest and important topic. I’ve loved getting new things for as long as I can remember. Having others say nice things…”I love your shoes, top, jewellery, bag etc” made ( makes ) me feel better about myself. I think I’m a good shopper, buy stuff that suits me but actually I’m surrounded by things I either wear a couple of times or never. Sales are the worst because I NEED that bargain. I weaned myself off the addiction slightly about 10 years ago by just not going shopping but over the past few years online shopping has taken over and it’s so hard to not press buy now. I want it all but I have no space for what’s coming in and when I look to declutter I think I will wear/use it one day so I keep whatever it is. I’ve got 3 shopping carts full right now and I’m going to try to leave them alone because I don’t need anything. I totally agree about the rollercoaster…that’s me exactly 😢

[@chrsitineadriaenssen6074]

Your philosophy is very unhealthy and depressing😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@eyalshay496]

You have no idea how much I connect with everything you’ve said. I’m going through the same thing, I’ve reached rock bottom because I was financially irresponsible and to be honest I was and still am addicted to shopping. And just like what you said everyone around me noticed I have a problem except me, I was to busy lying to myself that I’m in control and that I know what I was doing. looking back I understand how it happened, just like you I was looking to fill a very big void in my life. These past few months have been really difficult but I’m trying to get better, and I manage to cut my expenses a lot. I don’t carry my credit cards with me & whenever I think about shopping I immediately tell someone or find something else to do and think about, all I have to say is that it truly is an addiction. Let’s be more aware and let’s get better! Thank you for this, and always for your content 🙏🏼🫶🏼💗

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou for being vulnerable enough to share this ❤️

[@ehlesdee]

I had a makeup shopping addiction and it’s hugely shameful for me. People who are addicted to clothes and handbags at least have high quality items with no expiration dates. 95% of the makeup I bought is now in a landfill somewhere. Triggers for me were definitely social media, and also decluttering before I was ready. Interacting with the makeup during the de clutter would make it too present in my mind and I’d just buy again.

[@noodlemaiden7619]

Feeling less than. I don't think the clothes will make me prettier, but it feels like the clothes will be pretty enough and will make up for me. I know it's not the case, some it feels it some days ❤

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

I know what that feels like ❤️

[@tamiewert808]

I'm almost 55, and I have had a fairly unhealthy shopping habit my whole life since receiving my first paycheque as a teen! I have adult ADD, and impulse control is an issue. Additionally, I self medicate with shopping! It took me so long to see my situation as an actual addiction. You made me feel like you got what I'm going through, so for that, I thank you. It's a work in progress for sure, and evolution from any addiction is done in baby steps! Love from 🇨🇦

[@2FrenchiesItsCrazyAllTheTime]

Hard to fight. Right now, the back to school frenzy is happening. My kids need very little for back to school. We have lunchboxes, backpacks, all the clothes. But did I buy new lunchboxes that I didn’t need? Sure I did. It’s back to school and I feel badly if I don’t buy some new items for my kids, as if I’m depriving them. It’s HARD to fight these expectations and I love that you’re speaking up about it.

[@RayneRain77]

I’ve literally accumulated 10k of credit card debt within the last year, I’ve been struggling with being severely, chronically ill and living in a toxic household. Knowing that all of those impulse purchases came from the trauma of my personal situations is a lot. I’m trying to now rectify those impulses and pay off the debt, but I know that I have to be in a safe/healthy environment, and be physically well myself for that to happen.

[@MattyP650]

You need to consolidate your debts otherwise the interest is going to eat you alive. That 10k will be 13k next year, then 17.5k the next year, then 23.5k the next year. Please please please look into it.

[@shaziachiu]

This resonated with me sooo much! I've often justified my shopping habits because I only buy secondhand stuff. But last year it hit me that I'd spent around $1000 just at the thrift alone and had so much extra stuff that I was barely using or wearing. I'm still working on myself and this issue but I'm so glad I found this video. I'm looking forward to learning more from you :)

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou for being here ☺️❤️

[@ceciliaexp]

I also thrift and i know the cycle. Nordstrom Rack and Whole Foods was a problem for me as well . I stop going to Nordstrom’s rack and Whole Foods. I am working on not thrifting as much.

[@kellydekesel7492]

MORE ON THIS TOPIC!!! ❤ I’ve been struggling with shopping addiction for so many years and can’t find any help!

[@ciaradiam0nd]

This video is so well worded and hits so many raw and real parts. Over shopping runs deep in the sense that it is tied to emotions like you said- and the retail companies prey on these emotions to keep us buying. A big mindset shift for me was when I connected that I sometimes used shopping to distract me from anxiety or stress- just like you said. It’s still a work in progress and takes intentionality every day, but I’ve started channeling into healthier outlets when I feel that way, such as hitting the gym. If you can hook up your impulsive behavior with an activity that is healthier for you and gives you a better outlet, it can really help.

[@agustinad1447]

I myself have got into a shopping addiction for over 2 years which has increased in this past few months. It started during the pandemic and now since I have realised it I'm trying to go on a low buy and and project panning beauty stuff. Also In this process I am understanding what I actually love and what works for me. From getting a parcel everyday I am challenging myself to just a couple of parcels every month.

[@katerinaschenke819]

I’m newer to your channel. I was surprised to see your content on luxury hauls from not too long ago! kudos on completely changing your perspective.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou and Thankyou for being here ☺️

[@gargisingh9009]

You are so to the point and perfect in everything you said. You are doing so much good for the society by making these videos. I am in my 30’s and I think I have been shopping so much for over 6 years constantly that I feel exactly the same. I am very thankful

[@mccolk]

Wow..this was so incredibly helpful! Especially the part when you said you would encounter those feelings of stress or loneliness and then you went to your email and looked up the status of the latest package. I SO related to that. It's like I can't sit with the discomfort of the feelings (anxiety, stress, insecurity, loneliness) so I need a "treat" to self-soothe and for me that would either be ordering UberEats or buying something online or checking on a package I've purchased. Thank you for this insightful video!

[@momentswithyahya4239]

I needed to see this, because I almost did a Quad Pay on an expensive clothing site today. I think I will remove some items from the basket. And only get what I can pay for.

[@drcynthiabmcneill]

Caitlin, you are the best! I am struggling with shopping addiction right now. 😢 Thank you for a great video!❤

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Imitat1on]

I've come to realize that my irritability levels sometimes trigger my shopping, if something is messy in my house or disorganized and it bugs me, or I have a struggle with a piece of equipment or virtually anything, my solution or fix is always to buy something to help. Like a drawer is disorganized I buy acrylic organizers, I find it annoying to pack an overnight bag, next thing I know im buying doubles of everything so I don't have to do it. In my opinion I need to learn to use what I have available to me and not get annoyed when things aren't perfectly perfect all the time.

[@InSearchofaSunrise]

You summarized 100% of what’s going on with me. Shopping being normalized, shopping being a “hobby”- what you do with your friends or to reward yourself after a long work week. I find myself spending hours on my phone online shopping. Like you I find the waiting for the package more exciting that the actual item. I almost get disappointed once I get the item as the feelings have faded and the dred of having to look for the next item to order to feel happy again. I am definitely struggling and find I have a lot of boredom, shopping fills the boredom. When I try to get into a hobby like paining, the shopping for paint supplies, brushes, and art supplies starts to take over and back into the cycle. It’s very difficult to curb and am trying to monitor my intention when I want to shop. I ask my self “is this boredom, or is this because I need this item for a real purpose”. It has been helpful but denial is difficult at times. Thank you for doing this and bringing this topic to life. So many of us struggle with this.

[@good1125]

You honesty is so appreciated. I feel we all coat a feeling of loneliness with some kind of addiction. I never treat myself, I will be shopping with no guilt lol

[@KamuSaladi]

It got to the point where I had so much clutter that things were always falling over when trying to get ready in the morning or get a frying pan out the cupboard. I packed my entire apartment up in boxes and covered furniture with white sheets and went full on Mari Kondo ‘Does this thing bring me joy?’ I got veeeery ruthless about it and began unpacking slowly. I donated 2 suitcases full and one I am going to sell the items for little extra cash. Admittedly, I have had packages come in but it had been budget friendly fittings to maximise ‘flow’ of my small bachelorette. Things like: a tray to hold my 6 skincare products and a little toothbrush dock. 2 months and 1 professional deep clean later: I have only 4 boxes left to go. Two of which are literally PAPER from a decade of college handouts that I could not dispose of until confirmation that I passed the bar not too long ago 🎉 Now its time to rehome the books/notes/papers and help another student. I feel like I can breathe. I have shopped since my declutter- but it has been very intentional. I have a list of a handful of items still missing from my wardrobe such as: genuine suede tall winter boots, a staple trench coat etc as I complete my transition from cheap 20s fast fashion into higher quality for my 30s. I do still order two sizes because sometimes it’s inconsistent. And it’s safer for the item to come to me than for me to go into the store and then get off track. I returned the small jacket and kept the other. Looking back: yes, I was shopping to fill a hole. Now I am enjoying some empty space to sit in with a book and watch the birds outside the window. Extra bonus: leas dust & less to clean. My allergies have never been so calm. Great video. Thank you for opening up this dialogue in comments as I read other ladies’ stories. Love the direction your channel is going ❤

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou for sharing your experience ❤️

[@susanhoch2677]

I started decluttering jewelry. I now only have a small selection that are mostly heirloom and handed down or gifted from my mom. People think I have money and then I explain that these are the only pieces I own and I enjoy wearing them and my mom is proud to see me use the pieces instead of ‘saving them for some occasion once or twice a year’. It shows the active use of an investment in our family. Gone are the days of older generations who saved for years for stuff. Like my parents saved for 7 years to pay with cash for a kitchen renovation. The planning for vacation was a two year process. There was intent and planning with major purposes.

[@blake1001x]

I agree, materialism provides only temporary happiness. Based on my experience, I had daily deliveries during pandemic time. I opened items like bags, clothes, accessories even if I dont need them coz of the situation. Until the time came my room is full of clutter - boxes, plastic, tissue wraps, bubble wraps, etc I couldnt even find what I am looking for. It contributed also to mental clutter. I got back in my senses when my husband said one time while I was looking for something -- did you find it in your clutter? Lol but true.

[@alinatarkhanian]

This is a much needed video. It would be even better if you didn't have links to shop in the description box.

[@sshovelyjoe]

I would recommend doing social activities or learning in group classes or just online courses. Just meeting different people and giving yourself set goals can greatly reduce lonliness and stress triggered shopping. Also debit cards are a good substitute for credit cards. You pay from your bank account right away and its easier to carry than cash.

[@carrino15]

Yes! Please make a video about the limbic marketing strategy keeping us locked and hyperfocused on shopping. I am so grateful you are sharing so openly about these issues. As someone with adhd my impulse control is very vulnerable to stress. If im anxious or sad it is dangerous too sooth with shopping, it steals away freedom to choose our freedom perhaps away from abusive relationship or job etc.

[@deborahcurtis1385]

Many people have travel addiction, and it's pervasive. Pointless travel, wandering on a tour, or long term going from place to place with no particular aim, just trying to squeeze the cheapest deal, and taking luxury photos of idyllic settings, with nobody to share it with, or someone who's part of the problem. Zero consideration for the impact on local people. I don't want to sound like a Debbie downer, but this addiction is real and disguised. I had someone stay in my driveway living in her van she proudly told me she'd been given all her clothes. OKaaay. She then proceeded to drop hints continually about being cold, or what should she wear with this or that...then she proceeded to wheedle things from me while I imagined it was my idea to give them. Worse she stole from me. I'm naturally a pretty generous person so I hardly noticed, but she stole food and kitchen items as well as clothes. This clearly was a pattern she had, lack of boundaries and she was expecting me to turn on her which I eventually did. She also tried to seduce me which didn't work for many reasons not least of which I'm not gay. She told me her grandmother was very manipulative and I could see part of her wanted to change, she was partly aware of the pattern, pretending to be poor, which her grandmother did, then it went on. Her family was in fact, quite well off, she was highly educated and just playing at being poor, and she knew that I knew. She had a fake way of trying to seem in control and had a soothing voice but she also was a heavy binge drinker. The problem IMO is a feeling of deprivation and entitlement together. So it's not just overspending from the internet or peer pressure. It can be a hippy thing and it's pretending to be ethical while at the same time, being deeply deceptive, manipulative and unethical. Iv've seen it close up and travelled with such people, and watched their KZbin videos. Everything is about getting the cheapest deals or having the most luxurious experience the most cheaply. It's risking being devoid of an interior life. I've worked in retail and seen lonely people come in on a Friday night to fill the void, and they would come for the people contact because a SA will of course be utterly charming to you, and you get a warm fuzzy feeling from buying something...anything, which is actually precisely what you don't actually need. The sales were my weakness, I'd get something and think I would fix it or wear it when in fact it was unsuitable for my lifestyle and I had a lack of consistency in my personal style from always having to 'make do' from when I was a child and adolescent. The main thing was to get a bargain, I thought I was avoiding consumerism that way. While I got a bargain I felt like I was winning. But if you don't actually need the stuff, what are you doing? There are so many manifestations of unhealthy patterns here with material things, or spending and while some involves overspending but a lot of it is a false feeling of triumph by owning things, or getting things for a bargain or living super cheaply in an idyllic setting with hardly any real meaningful connections to the place except... AS A CONSUMER. I don't want to lay the guilt trip on too heavily but this is the time to really take stock because the environment is not just a concept. I really question the tourism industry and always have, but I've travelled unnecessarily because it's a reward. As a society we have a fairly superficial attitudes so my solution has been to simplify shop my own closet and make things and fix them. And ground myself from pointless travel. Lockdown has really helped me with this but I was onto it before. It's a continual development to be authentic and try to not run away from myself. which is what travel can be in the most extreme form. There are great aspects to buying appropriately, travelling appropriately and giving appropriately, but the solutions are not going on the next cruise/trek/or buying the next It bag. JIMO And btw I hope this is not too much of a downer, I'm just trying to find my way like anyone else and thought I'd offer a different take on things.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

This could be an entire video in itself, Thankyou for the inspiration! Xx

[@kimberley6446]

Yes! Travel seems to be held up as a sign of being open minded, humble, learned but realistic how much are people learning going to these places?

[@chidenisee]

Definitely. I had to unsubscribe from a lot of people. I like unboxings and hauls but only if they are sustainable and they are things the people actually use. I had to declutter so much makeup and over 300 pieces of clothes and 10 handbags and over 30 shoes. I realize that I spent at least 30k for at least 5 years over stuff that I don't even have anymore. Now I save and budget and only buy stuff I know I will enjoy and love.

[@youngblisslife4308]

A tip for people that use ccs all the time..go to EACH one and set a limit notification. Every day they will send you a notification once you hit that limit. It's a good way to hold you accountable for your spending. I wish you could set a limit in which it would decline 😅 but this works for me.

[@aenigmatica8]

Oof, this video hits hard!! Thanks so much for sharing. This kind of content really helps reflect a lot of my own mindset. I know I have a problem… and I know that stress and loneliness definitely are triggers!! I feel like I can’t help checking “what’s new” and “just in.” Relying on my faith really helps filling the void, but it’s still hard.

[@fsechzer]

Sadly, shopping addiction is not recognized as such, because it supposedly doesn’t hurt anyone. For example, with an argument that if a women can afford the purchases, then no harm done. Sometimes, its presented as feminism with arguments like: “ why men can have hobbies like expensive cars and why can’t we women have ours, such as bags, clothing, cosmetics.” Another way people avoid admitting shopping addiction is by calling it “collecting”

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

So true!

[@carlahutchinson9502]

Please, a junk drawer declutter video Caitlin.

[@stacyness81]

There are 12 step programs to help with this, I do appreciate you talking about this issue, and shopping addiction has been around for decades

[@OktoberJournal]

I used to be in "therapy" for my shoping addiction, but it was mainly just tips & tricks I had already tried before. No conversations about -why- I have the addiction, how it's making me feel etc. Just "keep an eye on your finances/wait x amount of days before buying it/only use cash" etc etc and I had already tried all of her tips before but that was all she talked about with me and I definitely wasted a few months of therapy there.

[@samrussell1325]

Well done for your amazing growth! Keep your channel up, we need more honesty and the continued normalisation of disordered shopping. I'm in the same fight too x

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thank you! Will do!

[@barbc7211]

Wow this is me !!!! Thank you SO much for speaking about your personal experiences about shopping. I think it’s an act of self sabotage and that the triggers are coming from my abusive childhood as well as loneliness and lack of love. I appreciate so much your speaking of your own triggers and experiences and emotions with shopping. Thank you again Barb

[@kateanette9398]

Thank you for such an honest video. Of course social media makes us buy things: "look, everyone else has those and can afford it". None knows what goes on behind the camera. These days you're lucky if you can afford food and shelter. Luxury shopping is often a getaway and being in denial, and indeed trying to fill a void, such as loneliness. The actually rich people, who can afford this stuff without problems, don't give a shite about this stuff. If they do, they don't post it on KZbin and try to make a living out of that :D

[@HomemakerHelper]

I understand where the sale frenzy comes from. Back in the day, like 30’s and later, women had to be so frugal and thrifty and now that carries over with intense marketing for us to face. It’s a shame. Even “sales” nowadays are more expensive than some of those same products used to be a few years ago.

[@rachealdavis4460]

I can definitely relate. I used to go buy something. Literally anything every time I was in a bad mood. My retail therapy. But whenI used my entire Christmas bonus to buy a Michael Kors purse and a pair of doc martens realized I had a shopping addiction. I thought I would be happy when I bought them bc everyone had them and they were happy. It didn’t work so I worked on myself and bring content with what I have now bc only you can control your happiness. Stuff does not equal happiness.

[@mansoor3159]

Caitlin I have never clicked so fast and I really really enjoyed watching this type of videos so so so much💫🙂💖

[@JCstrikesagain]

Such a great video you have posted. I have had issues surrounding shopping addiction about 8 years ago. Like you, it was because I was in a really bad place. For me, I used to go shopping at 'cheaper' shops in Melbourne Docklands outlet so it never felt 'expensive'. Except, it really did cost a lot. They were silly purchases, none of which I own anymore that had only existed to fill a void.

[@Bekind94]

Yes! I crave simplicity and my shopping habits make my life cluttered.

[@Nicegirl_Nursing]

Thank you for being so vulnerable like this. I haven't seen too many others who have been notable for frequent shopping or sponsored hauls talk so openly.

[@caryn1158]

As always amazing video… I am in the same space as you have been for a while… and it’s hard the tendencies are real and now stuff like Temu and having even cheaper stuff … I fear for the next generation of 20 something’s and easy access and overconsumption not posting the same looks because it looks bad… so much 2 unpack… It has taken me a year to get through half my shit in my house 😢 but it a journey of self reflection and correction and I hope at the end of it when I say I am mindful and respectful of the environment and nature my actions are reflective of that ❤

[@rocket4444]

as an example, i went to clean out my beauty closet the other day and had a full-blown panic attack because i realized that i had more stuff than i would ever be able to use. i own around 50 lip glosses and i know half of them will expire before i can even use up 1/5th of them. i have 7 rare beauty blushes in the same color. its just money sitting around, going to complete waste. having an excess of product and things laying around makes me really anxious. i'm trying so hard to combat my shopping addiction. what helps me is consuming content from people that embrace a more minimalistic lifestyle

[@l_raage1663]

I used shopping to fill the void while I was in college, just graduated architecture school and now that stress is gone I’m not spending anymore

[@blondewriter99]

As someone who quit smoking, the urges for the addictive behavior go WAY down after several months, after a year you hardly have them. So it's not like you have to "deal" with these urges forever. But you do have to remain AWARE so you don't have that feeling of "oh I can just buy that ONE expensive handbag..." I will say shopping, being something we all HAVE to do sometimes, and that is much more socially acceptable, may be a harder habit to break in some ways... not one person ever comes up to me with a cigarette and says "smoke!" whereas just walking outside we're hit with ads to shop...

[@KaareneRNHealthLifeCoach]

I struggle with this! I have to be so careful. Shopping makes me feel sooo good. It’s definitely a high for me then I regret it. I have gotten so much better at returning items because I have a hard time with impulse control. I should have a much larger savings account and this makes me sad… I am tired of it tbh. Why do we feel we need 10 foundations, thousands of dollars in luxury makeup and 10,000.00 in skin care products, 100,000 in handbags and shoes….etc…. And clutter clutter

[@dreamergirl1140]

Thank you for being so vulnerable!! I've struggled with this in the past--and splurged on new blazers for work after a breakup a couple of weeks ago. I'm pretty sure my roommate is struggling with this now since she's been getting packages almost DAILY or at least multiple times a week for about a couple of months now. We're not super close, so I'm not really sure how to bring it up to her gently. :/

[@teresekokholm9723]

I think everyone experiences the void inside during their lives and we each fill it with different things: shopping, drugs, partying, being with people all the time or with the wrong kind of people etc. and I think you are right in seeing we need to figure out our triggers: loneliness, disconnedcted from nature, from people, stress, meaningless work etc. but I also think for us to heal the addiction and make sure we don't fill the void with unhealthy things or relationships in the future we have to stare into that void and keep staring until we realise how to fill it with good things, and that act is very uncomfortable, because it requires we look at ourselves critically AND with compasion and love at the same time (maybe it is what realising our triggers are?) I am prone to use substances (tea, coffee, cacao, sugar) and to shop books I'll never read, stationary items, boardgames etc. so the addiction can look more or less okay according to society standards, and my triggers are stress and lack of meaningfull work. Being connected to nature is my medicine, it is what I fill into the void when it opens up, so perhaps we also need something to fill in to the void, just the right kind of thing

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts 💕

[@R_DLF]

I like the new direction of your videos. I’m in the process of decluttering my handbags and I’m kind of devastated that I’m selling them but kind of relieved I won’t have that clutter in my closet.

[@carlsenlifeafter60carlsen11]

I am glad to see that you are realizing your addiction at this young age. Take the money you would buy an expensive bag with and save it. This is just advice from an older woman who is 68 when you get to sage if you’ve saved your money, you’ll have money for those beautiful luxury items and that’s when you need them. It’s when you’re older and you deserve them when you’re young you can look good in anything. That’s just my little piece of advice for you. You’ll be so happy when you get older and you have money to spend.😊

[@Doesntmatter20]

I have spent 800 EUR last year on clothes and felt so weird about it (also love plants)😂 Before I didn’t have the money or desire but with the pandemic I did. I have always been a cheap girl but even the things you are saying: apply! Why are we buying ? Do we really need it? I told my husband that I am replacing my closet which is true. With everything I buy: one other item has to go. Never had a lot growing up which was fine but my mom used to have a shopping addiction with cheap stuff. She used to hide her bags from my stepfather. Still now she has an intire room with clothes. I am so scared to end up like her so I try to pay attention to my spending. You do have many interesting points I am going to keep in mind!

[@LeaveBritneyalone580]

Stress is my trigger, but I found cheat code for myself buy getting what I'm almost out of and would buy anyway, and restricting my time to shop (for example 5 minutes) so I go in, grab one or two things I need and I'm out. I shopped the most when I was stressed out of my mind during University. I'm in much better place right now so I can do this and it works for me at the moment. Basically I get that dopamine hit but I also get things I need and will use. On top of that I have adhd and I fall into compulsion to buy and to buy it NOW sometimes (aka hyperfocus). With hyperfocus I learned best thing is to wait for some time to pass and rationalize with myself. I'd go on this long conversations with myself about pros and cons and mostly I come to the conclusion that I don't really need it. Not following influencers/watching videos also helps a lot although tik tok algorithm be testing me sometimes but that's where not interested button comes in 😂

[@ceciliaexp]

9:39 Same here, not only do certain employees at different stores recognize me but they ask about my kids (when they are in school) The human connection is good, but the reason behind is sad 😅

[@sunnykel7573]

My trigger for shopping is loneliness, too. As I get older, friends have dropped off/cut me off without communicating why. Women my age are focused on their families. I've been single for years. Even if I'm aware that I'm browsing because I'm lonely, I don't really know how to help myself as it feels like nobody wants to spend time with me. I have several friends but they are introverted, and are happy to catch up say once a month, rather than once or twice a week. The friends I have left at the moment are not many of my close ones. So I feel like I have noone left really to kick back with or confide in. Truthfully at this age, I feel like a couple of single friends just treat me as their emotional support, someone to vent their stress and sadness to, rather a friend to spend time with and enjoy each other's company. My confidence is shot too because I'm overweight and no men that are actually desirable are ever interested in me. This has been a problem now for me for years. Could you maybe do a video please on what tools you use for yourself? I feel like not many people understand, because they haven't had to be alone for years. The worst thing is that I'm extroverted, so I don't enjoy long bouts of alone time, as an introvert might.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Can totally relate to some of what you are saying Thankyou for sharing this im going to ponder your situation and figure out how I can talk about this in a video Thankyou ❤️

[@marilynolson8599]

Extremely well said thank you for your honesty, kindness helping others.

[@hailstorm13]

Excellent video. I think my trigger is boredom and luxury KZbin influencers. But I do know my addiction started after a traumatic experience in my life so maybe I need therapy!

[@dortheaford8083]

When the world shut down because of the pandemic, my new favorite hobby was tracking packages. There just wasn’t anything else to do.