The Older Woman-Younger Man Pairing: An Acceptable Age Gap Relationship?

[@thetake]

WATCH MORE - There's often controversy around the older woman/younger man pairing. But what about age gap relationships where the man is older? Here's our TAKE: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ep2yg4d3rJKaeZY

[@chinelonwobu940]

I would not include Licorce Pizza in the thumbnail or video in a positive light. The male character is 15 year old teenager, thats not a age gap between two consenting adults. That's grooming of a minor and predetory or do you only care if the victim female. You can't only care about predatory behaviour and dynamics if the perpetrator is male, that showing a really ugly bias and double standard especially as a feminist channel.

[@Tinadonn]

​@chinelonwobu940 agreed, thank you! I feel like I'm losing my mind watching everyone excuse this relationship

[@VeeLondon1449]

♥️ Dustin Hoffman was 30 yrs old at the time of filming, The Graduate. And Anne Bancroft, cast as the dangerously seductive “older woman,” was only 36 years old.

[@jordanloux3883]

And in A Crowded Room, the woman playing mom to Tom Holland's character was only nine years older. Yay, progress!

[@MS-sr6mj]

Yeah, I thought they looked the same age.

[@ginaonyemaechi]

No way! Haha! 🤣

[@annabanzon313]

Are u sure?

[@Luluthekitty23]

Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson shouldnt be on this list. He was a teen when they meant and is a predatory relationship.

[@deek60819]

true, but for some reason society doesn't care about them like they do about leo's gfs

[@ayameisastar]

@@deek60819Leo, for all his flaws, to my knowledge meets his gfs when they’re at least able to vote and is not their boss, nor does he work with them. Sam Taylor Johnson was the director of Aaron’s film and in a position of power above him and also auditioned him when he was 17. She was also married to someone else

[@FriendlyBatDoom]

@@deek60819rue, Older Man to Younger Female = Pedo, creepy groomer, she has no autonomy when things go wrong. Older Woman to Younger Man = Look how mature he is. SMELLS LIKE DOUBLE STANDARDS TO ME. 🤷‍♂️

[@BetaBetaZZ]

Is NOT about Age gap is about when it begins. She meet him when he was underage and just waited till he was legal to make it official. Honestly It’s just creepy. I’m all about older women in relationships with younger man, but the line is draw when someone is a kid.

[@DeniseCoelhoEnglishForLife]

​@@BetaBetaZZnot necessarily creepy nor predatory. It is not about age gap nor about when it begins. These can be red flags and problematic when there is a systemic pattern. You are all just being judgemental and prejudiced, replacing old societal taboos with new ones and this is not healthy to anybody. Judging other peopel's relationships and denying a oerson's love is horrible and cruel, and thats what u r potentially doing, not very different from what happens a lot with homophobia in some regards. It is about the intentions, the dynamics and ao many other complez aspects. I met my husband when he was a teen, much older than him. I was the vulnerable and less sexually wxperienced of the two. He nursed me back to health and saved me in many ways. We'be been married and together for ten years now, both happier than ever before we met each other. We were just two huma beings who happened to fall in love

[@vortexofweird]

I think people have this sense that because of societal norms and misogyny, women can’t be predatory. But that’s not true, they definitely can be. In fact, I think any relationship can be predatory and there doesn’t even need to be an age gap for it to happen. That being said, you see way more older men dating younger women and the reason is societal and related to misogyny. All of these things can be true at once.

[@winterbutterfly8861]

Great way to put it 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@ChefWillChill]

Makes you wonder how much of this video is cope, given the creators of this channel are women in their 30/40’s. Pay attention gents in their 20’s clear signals are being sent out. In J laws defense the movie ended well with them becoming friends instead of hooking up or becoming lovers. Probably the healthy version of a transformative relationship with a younger man.

[@TheJulior1983]

Men dating younger women has nothing to do with misogyny. People choose the best partner they can attain. Why wouldn’t you want to be with someone in the prime of their lives?

[@freakyfornash]

My love interest (who's 50 years old) is a decade older than me, who I hope to officially meet, and be with soon! You also must admit that a younger man being with an older woman is also a hell of a lot more romantic than seeing a beautiful young girl being so blind and stupid enough to waste herself, and throw her life away on some old, ugly, bald(ing) pedophile esc. looking creep who she cannot possibly find attractive at all! I swear to God that watching somebody throw up is literally far less unpleasant to me than that highly disgusting, horrible, and overall highly depressing sight for certain too!

[@fatimahanwaar306]

@@TheJulior1983 you're ignorant acting like "men dating younger women has nothing to do with misogyny" when it does educate yourself before you speak such nonsense if you think only older women are "in their prime" but won't apply the same to men you're in denial about misogyny

[@favouriteghost]

Aaron and Sam Taylor-Johnson is THE nightmare example. Answering when an age gap is "acceptable" generally revolves around any power dynamics and whether the younger person is TOO young when they meet/become involved. Aaron was 17 and she was in her 40s and his director. On the few facts we have about them since they're deliberately very private, it's pretty clear grooming. It's not the same as an age gap between two adults who have a reasonable balance of power.

[@Evute02]

It’s not grooming, come one now. However, it is sad to know he’s never had a serious relationship with anyone else for over a decade, from the age that he was when he made his vows to Sam.

[@justinelord95]

His choice to be in the relationship he could leave if he wanted

[@maxwellmediainc]

It was weird when they addressed the concern about that age gap in a mocking tone . Like weather they started daiting before of after filming him being a teen is a still a problem. Like okay he’s 18 but you can be 17 today and 18 tommrow dose that magically make you a adult with all the wisdom in the world ? Like they’re still together but that dosnt make the situation right .

[@Cheemsonabike]

He was 18, its not grooming, stop being weird

[@maxwellmediainc]

@@Cheemsonabike not being a minor Dosent mean you can’t be taken advantage of and that dosnt mean the ground work of the relationship didn’t start when he was underage .

[@natalielatta6552]

I have yet to see anyone accept Aaron and Sam Taylor-Johnson. I think that's the exception.

[@misabelrodriguez1163]

Wasn't he a teen when they met?

[@chibi_rabbit]

She groomed him. She was his mother's friend.

[@winterbutterfly8861]

Because their story is messed up for reasons way beyond her being simply older

[@lookhowshegobbledthat]

He was 17/18 when they worked together.

[@l.l.a.s3645]

ATJ is a victim of grooming. That "relationahip" is disgusting.

[@thandondlovu5392]

Sam and Aaron Taylor Johnson shouldn't be on the list of with the other couples who met and started dating when they were already adults and began realtionships on equal footing. I don't know much about their relationship but the fact that it started when he was like 18 and she was already her 40's and his boss is concerning. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

[@ayameisastar]

Im only correcting you because it didn’t start when he was 21, he was auditioned by her for her film when he was 17 and she was married. He and her then officially announced that they were dating when he was 18 and within a month engaged and then within like 2 months that they were having a baby. That’s why people think she’s a groomer

[@thandondlovu5392]

@@ayameisastar Thank you for the correction

[@inescastellano7960]

She actually met him when he was 11. She knew his parents.....

[@februaryschild0216]

@21 our prefrontal cortex in our brain is still growing. It doesn't stop until ab 25. That's concerning.

[@thandondlovu5392]

@@februaryschild0216 according to ayameisater it was actually when he was 17 when they started dating and she was already in her 40's so it's so much worse.

[@winterbutterfly8861]

You guys are seriously putting Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra on the same category as Aaron and Sam? For real?!?

[@cosmic_chaos_inc]

There are significant differences between the cited couples, fictional or not, and there is far too much generalizing in this video. Nobody has an issue with Cher dating a 36 year old man, but there are massive issues with Sam Taylor-Johnson pursuing a minor she is employing and than marrying and having children with him in lightning speed before he can make any real life experiences of his own. The sarcastinc tone of the narrator in this part of the video is hugely inappropriate and the dismissal of Aaron's mistreatment is concerning to say the least.

[@trinaq]

I couldn't believe that "Liquorice Pizza" had a 15 year old boy and 25 year old woman get together by the end. While Gary could be excused, given how he's a hormone driven teenager, Alana is a full decade older than him, and really SHOULD know better.

[@courtneycoleman6849]

That part!!! Like you’re a full grown adult you know it’s wrong to have a relationship with a teenager. Nothing about it is appropriate or cute

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Is it me or this video came out soon after ModernGurlz did a video?

[@trinaq]

@@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 You're right, Modern Gurlz released a similar video a few days ago, and they couldn't be more timely.

[@DMMA0726]

​@@realhillkellprofound = "my teenage fantasy"

[@realhillkell]

@@DMMA0726 what are you waffling about

[@inescastellano7960]

I'm sorry, but Aaron Taylor-Johnson was GROOMED. And I will not stop saying it.

[@ahmadhadi177]

Because he was 17,right?

[@dragoncat5767]

I now have to learn new meanings of grooming I guess

[@courtneycoleman6849]

Sam Johnson is a groomer and shouldn’t be lumped in with these other women who had non predatory age gap relationships

[@LauraSomeNumber]

The problem in the portrayal of these relationships is that every time we see one on screen that is what the movie is about. We rarely if ever see one that is not remarked upon within the story. Most movies have a male lead with a much younger female lead yet it is never mentioned.

[@leighannjohnson8176]

I was thinking the exact same thing while watching this. In every movie example the main tension is from the age gap.

[@BarbieMariposa1613]

I have another perspective: The problem I see with this type of film is many: 1- Sex cannot be missing: there always has to be sex in these movies 2- Adolescent couple: it is not necessary to explain why pedophilia seems wrong to me 3- Promiscuity: there is no such thing as a monogamous demisexual adolescent boy, everyone has to be portrayed as stupid and promiscuous beings who only care about having sex and not what their parents will say when they fail the math exam. 4- Sex education: for some strange reason, young boys have never received sex education and they believe that the only way to know about sex is by having sex. Parents, teachers and urologists are absent in her sexuality, so an unknown woman and pedophile takes the responsibility of ''teaching'' her about human sexuality. 5- Masculinity, virility and maturity: a young boy only reaches mental maturity, masculinity and virility through sex and not through reflection, reading and life experiences. 4- Lack of mental maturity of the adult woman: the woman is portrayed as ugly, useless and without aspirations since she lost all her sexual essence with old age. Only sex will make her feel complete, she is unable to accept her old age and unable to reflect on her life. I also add that the woman is not capable of saying ''no'' to an inexperienced young man and she takes advantage of him and then discards him like a banana peel. In short: young boys are sexual objects devoid of personality and essence, and "mature" women are mentally immature and incapable of reflecting, understanding and accepting their condition.

[@trinaq]

If they tried to make "No Hard Feelings" as a movie where a man in his 30s is hired to help a 19 year old girl lose her virginity, then it would immediately turn into a psychological horror movie, with the man as the clear villain.

[@XshopahollicsX]

yes because we do not live in a vacuum, im so tired of this rhetoric, things will always be different for men and women because statistically speaking, men MURDER AND R*PE women faaaaarrrr more than women do. Women do BARELY a fraction of what men do. so yes. if the plot of the movie was genders reversed, people would lose their shit, because guess what? this happens on a second to second basis, with the end result of the relationship being traumatic for the girl (that is if she makes it out of the relationship alive) . please let this goddamn "if it was the other way around" rhetoric rest already.

[@rosegirl3220]

Yeah those parents should be arrested regardless of the gender of their kid, also media needs to acknowledge that older women taking advantage of young men is just as bad as the other way around and stop virgin shaming boys

[@genius179]

That last sentence should be video the Take covers but I doubt they will, it is a conundrum for men now. Women still want men with sexual experience however men do get shamed possibly too much for stating reasonable sexual desires

[@TheRaiane157]

And what about the film with Brooke Shields where a man in his early thirties pays to take the virginity of the protagonist, who is 12 years old??? He wasn't portraited as a villain. There's a lot of movies in that same way. Yall are living under a rock or something

[@timothyo718]

Strange how The Take is using a thumbnail while 2/3 of the couples are problematic! Licorice Pizza with a 15m and 25f couple and the Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson one. What were they thinking??!!

[@elinesvendsen8046]

Even small age gaps where the woman is older has been frowned upon. I remember being 17 having a 16 year old boyfriend. Some of the girls in my class were 15-17 years old and dated men in their mid 20's. They thought it was really weird that I would be with a boy who was younger than me (by ONE year!) but didn't even consider that it was weird that they were minors dating grown men. I married a man 6 years younger than me, btw. We met when I was 27 and he was a week away from turning 22. We have been together for almost 17 years now and has a child together.

[@angelam.4670]

Trust me, no one is more surprised than me that the guy I've ended up with is seven years younger. But the pros far outweigh the cons. He's the wisest, most accepting and resilient human being I've ever met. In turn, there are areas where I can apply my life experience and help him grow as well. I've made so much progress in my healing since we got together because of his support. We've been accelerating side by side and we've been true partners to each other. Human relationships are complex and beautiful. That's all.

[@BombshElle_7]

What you said is wholesome and real. This video is anything but that. I trust you didn't start dating/grooming your significant other when he was a teenaged boy. The Take thought that was proper representation of a female-lead May-December relationship. They missed the mark. Not you.

[@RNT-hrz11]

I have a seven year gap with my husband too. No one ever guesses that i am older than him, and I really don't think we're that different, I don't think we ever remember besides when we're close to our birthdays (and I freak out and feel old haha) . I would have never thought I'd marry a guy this younger but I did and it's the best.

[@LalaGmail-xj2zk]

I think under 10 years gap is not inappropriate. My gauge is if one party or the other is old enough to be the others parent instead of partner it's inappropriate.

[@km1dash6]

The problem with large age differences is they can be exploitative if the younger person is very young (like in their teens or early 20s) regardless of gender. There is an inherent sexism both in the rejection and the acceptance of women dating younger men. When we get angry at a woman for dating younger men, it's not because of the fact it's sexual exploitation. It's because we feel she is stepping out of line in owning her sexuality the way men do. But also, we accept women dating younger men because we don't view women as capable of sexually exploiting young men if they are attractive or wealthy enough. If we looked at it honestly, we can be ok with a 50 year old dating a 30 year old because they are both mature adults, regardless of age, but a 40 year old dating a 20 year old, the latter only 2 years out of high school and still with a developing brain, is fucked up regardless of gender. Now, maybe there is enough evidence out there to prove me wrong. And I appreciate how this video focuses on women owning their sexuality. That is a message we need to instill in our society, but we also shouldn't play into benevolent sexism.

[@littleiish]

Preach ittt

[@jeryth057]

I think it's different in the UK where the age of majority is 18. I had a 10 year relationship with a 24 year old while I was 42 and, while there was definitely an imbalance of power, we still had a great time together 😀

[@elucified]

​​@@jeryth057generally i'd say all the more power to ya, but it's never a good sign if you have to refer to the age of maturity...

[@francescaeve8776]

I agree but people on the internet can be a bit crazy with where to draw the line. I've seen Chris Evans cop it from people for dating a 25-year-old because he's 41, but at 25 you are a full-grown adult. Even though the intention is good it's infantilising to assume someone can't make their own decisions at that age.

[@maruesculdiner]

Totally agree

[@lisalionheart1253]

why does the take insist on pushing sam and aaron's relationship as acceptable? they got together when he was 17/18!

[@Cliohna]

They are not pushing. It's their take. You have a different view. That's fine. They met when he was 17 and they may or may not got together after he became 18. Could this mean she was predatory and he was not mature enough to know himself and what he wants? Sure. Could it be the case that he never matured enough since then, so he stayed in this relationship until now at 33? Sure. But could it also be the case that he was simply mature enough emotionally and mentally to pursue this relationship, and stayed in this relationship til this day? Also yes. Some people are way to sure about things without even knowing these people...and no, simply saying this is or isn't likely is not good enough of an argument. You can't know what you don't know. Speculation isn't knowledge.

[@jordannewsom3606]

@@Cliohna Still creepy imo

[@dragoncat5767]

​​@@CliohnaAn actual smart and a logical woman who gave a non biased answer They are acting as if the guy was 12 when he was in a relationship with the older woman,lol😂 You may agree or not,It doesn't matter when you meet,as long as you meet as long as you didn't have any predatory or abusive, harmful feelings and it's completely ok if a person who is just 18 and bit mature is in a relationship with a Older woman,as long the older person has no predatory feelings

[@Angi3_6]

A relationship between two consenting adults is NOT the same as “relationship” between an adult and minor.

[@Herrera_70]

Exactly! well said

[@YasminYoruba]

Facts!

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Michelle Pfeiffer and Paul are an underrated comedy duo. They have great energy ❤

[@robchuk4136]

The power dynamic between younger soccer player Sam and older team owner Rebecca were never acknowledged on Ted Lasso, and I found that a little weird. It was worth keeping in mind. But at least they were both adults. The funny timing of this video is I just saw on the news about a female teacher busted for having an affair with her studentl. There is certainly a desire to champion these "Yaas queen!" endeavors no matter where we see them, as if cultures are irrationally opposed to age gaps for no reason. But there are predators out there. And according to RAINN, the attempt to normalize taboo relationships along with victims often believing their relationships to be consensual, are tell-tale signs of... Grooming.

[@binarystar300]

Ted Lasso likes to sweep certain problematic behavior under the rug. Like Dr. Jacob being Ted's wife's therapist and using his power to seduce her into sleeping with him. Gross 🤮🤮

[@misabelrodriguez1163]

People who are still fresh from turning 18, while legal in the eyes of the law, are still considered rather child like in matter of mentality, maturity, emotionally, etc. Because of this, many have preyed on them since their in a vulnerable position. Modergurlz made a video about it titled "Predatory relationships in Hollywood: a deep dive."

[@Evute02]

Idk..i generally don’t agree with very young adults dating people years their senior as a part of normal dating. But by that same logic, you’d need to change many other laws too. Drinking in many parts of the world is legal by the age of 18 years old, along with driving. If we are able to do these things from a (still) tender age, why can’t we build a meaningful relationship? It doesn’t always have to be sexually driven, rather simply a romantic relationship that feels right at the time. As the video states, it doesn’t usually last forever and can simply be part of life experience that may unfold/end in a certain way depending on who you are as a person. To me, it’s more unfortunate to know that Aaron (for example) has not had any other relationship since sealing the deal with Sam..many opportunities lost.

[@olgazaeska3108]

Why people in their early 19/early 20s. are old enough to move to a diffrent country/continent, drink alcohol, run their own business, live alone, driving car and a lot of more but they are not able to choose who they date?

[@Evute02]

@@olgazaeska3108 Exactly. It’s all about intentions. And when they’re bad, a 19/20 yo is usually able to recognise that lol. We are here on Earth to learn, find something new and experience.

[@olgazaeska3108]

@@Evute02 Also I noticed that this grooming panic is typical for Anglo-Saxons. I don't know why exactly but maybe is about American obsesion about youth (conected with belief that people after 40s. are different human beings) or the absence of a true left parties (economic topics are tricky so leftists have to talk a lot about moral/identity issues).

[@Evute02]

@@olgazaeska3108 I could absolutely see that. Americas obsession with youth is a whole pandemic issue. 😅🙈

[@MovieTvDrama]

It's an age gap relationship when it's between two adult age consenting adults. I don't feel like it's an applicable term when it's an adult and a teenager still in high school 18 and below regardless of gender of either parties. The two extremely different situations should not be conflated at all.

[@sammyvictors2603]

Liquirice Pizza is still disturbing as its between a young teenager and an adult in her mid twenties. Not cool. I draw the line between teenager and adult.

[@sirenely9211]

yeah, that's not an age gap, that is just p3dophilia

[@Ghost-Rider667]

I never saw a problem with age-gap couples, as long as they're both consenting adults.

[@TheRaiane157]

For each movie with a older woman with a younger man there's 10 more with an older man and a younger woman. But yay, "if the roles were reversed" 🥴

[@MS-sr6mj]

More like 100 more.

[@binarystar300]

Probably reflects real life dating. I would never date any woman more than 5 years older than me, older than that and the thought just grosses me out.

[@maryfiero8122]

Older men are normal. Men develop 10 yrs slower. A 20yo woman is more mature while a 20yo man is more like a kid than a grown up

[@gforce9596]

It's not gender that grosses us out - it's always going to be a bad look when an older adult is with a much younger adult, or with a person who became an "on the books" adult like yesterday. It's weird because those people (with vast age gaps) most likely don't have enough in common to warrant an emotionally and physically intimate commitment with a person

[@freakyfornash]

My love interest (who's 50 years old) is a decade older than me, who I hope to officially meet, and be with soon! But you must admit younger man being with an older woman is also obviously a hell of a lot more romantic than seeing a beautiful young girl being so blind and stupid enough to waste herself, and throw her life away on some old, ugly, bald(ing) pedophile esc. looking creep who she cannot possibly find attractive at all! I swear to God that watching somebody throw up is literally far less unpleasant to me than that highly disgusting, horrible, and overall highly depressing sight for certain too!

[@redsparks2025]

My friend married a woman 5 years older than himself and it turned out good for him as she provided him with purpose and stability where as before he was aimless and self-destructive.

[@AlmaRT]

No mention of Younger? kinda disappointing since its was a pretty big deal when the show first aired and contributed a lot to normalising the female age gap, in my humble opinion

[@justjoannak]

Agreed!

[@BenChanNYC]

This makes me wish Paul Rudd and Michelle Pfeifer had had more scenes together in the Ant-Man movies. Or maybe they were afraid there'd be more chemistry between Scott and Janet than Scott and Hope

[@littleiish]

This was such a bad take jesus....if older man age gaps are bad, women age gaps are too. Age gaps are problematic, period. This feels like washing away all the predatory behaviours underneath and its very dangerous you guys didnt expand on it more....

[@mrsclark78]

100%

[@susannehuber3996]

There is no link between age gap and abuse IF BOTH PARTIES are of age. Just because you have a problem with this it doesn’t mean it’s problematic.

[@littleiish]

@@susannehuber3996 so, lets say if an 18 year old girl "consents" to a 30's something year old man, would that be okay to you? Just because 18 is the legal age to be consider an "adult" doesnt mean the reality is that way...with a little bit of common sense you would get it

[@dragoncat5767]

​​@@littleiishwell,it often depends upon the context,not age I don't specifically see a problem or harm if the older person isn't trying to harm or abuse or there is even no hint of abuse You can't justify something as harmful with just "age gaps",with no hints or proof

[@littleiish]

@dragoncat5767 the older person may genuinely have “good intentions” but when the age gap is significant and happens specially in crucial phases of life like your 20s (lets not even mention the teenage cases, because thats straight up disgusting and predatory🤢) it becomes selfish in the sense that you are taking away from the younger person the freedom of experiencing that correspondent phase in their life, in order to adhere to the much older partner needs, who will obviously want something more in tune with THEIR age (an example: having kids), forcing it upon the younger person.... When I talk abt problematic age gaps, I'm not talking 40s something with someone in its 50s, or 35 with 38, (general examples) because in those contexts, they are more or less in tune and at the same page in life, therefore making it a more balanced and equal relationship.... When i talk abt this im refering to, for example, a 20-year-old with a person in its 30s or in its 40s, because your headspace and mentality changes DRAMATICALLY and are two very different periods in life. Hope i explained myself better

[@ginaistomina2984]

At this point (after reading a comment section) I don't even understand anymore, what predatory behaviour is. I feel I used to know... So, what I gathered is that women can be predatory just like men can be, which I feel is not true on a larger scale (patriarchy). You might think that older woman want a younger man in a relationship just like older man would. But there is no prestige there for a woman in the eyes of society, mostly judgement. Who would want that? Going public with this kind of love is either hype or a sacrifice. Or just a strong belief that you have your right to live your life. Nevertheless, it's not going to be a pleasant experience. Furter on male/female differences, I fell there's less examples of women literally pressuring men into sex with them via physical means or hardcore manipulation, evoking shame or fear in the victim. Whenever you say that age gaps create the same problems with predatory behaviour and power dynamic regardless of gender, please think about that. Which leads me to another point: a lot of people say that age gap relationship can be predatory, then go on and act/speak like they definitely ARE predatory. No, they are not. They only CAN be. And my third point is that age gap relationships have always existed and are always going to. And not because everybody is a predator and a victim. Some people are not really interested in communicating with people their age. Some want to learn from someone with experience in life, to live it without spending a third of it on fruitless mistakes. And some might want to start over and feel like they DON'T know everything about this world, that there's room for miracle. And it's not for you, or anyone really, to judge them. So yeah, I think, predatory behaviour - is certain behaviour, when person is interested in sex with other person and abuses their own power to achieve their goal, and it is especially true if person can't/doesn't consent, but predator doesn't care. Please stop judging everyone in age gap relationships if said relationships isn't proved to be predatory. And yes, argument about brain development into third of one's life is ridiculous. Keep this up and in ten to twenty years you won't be able to vote untill you're 25. I had my fair share of mistakes in life, mostly because of my own naivety, and now, being 33, I'm sorry that I didn't experience them earlier or understood my life lessons faster. I wouldn't want to start at 25, I still want to have a life. If you have your opinions about what person should or shouldn't decide until they're 25, that's fine, just stop pushing this narrative.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

3:22 It was so sad to see the backlash that she got when the age difference thing came up but also IRONIC considering there are male actors who don’t bat an eyelid to ridiculous on screen age gaps.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

In Queer Relationships, age gaps are so normal. Then again, that happens for slightly different reasons.

[@realhillkell]

Can you please educate me or tell me more

[@genius179]

Yes I’m curious about this as well

[@escabasket153]

The Licorice Pizza one is creepy though IMO. He’s a teenage boy 🤮 And I’m not against this relationship dynamic. My mother is 10 years older than my father and they got married at 33 and 23 respectively and had met two years earlier.

[@illestbeetch]

I agree! I haven't seen many comments on the Licorice Pizza relationship which I feel is inappropriate.

[@vybie]

Soo...they met when he was 20 and she was 30??? Ummm...still concerning... But I guess those were other times...

[@Evute02]

@@vybieWhy is it concerning? He was an adult. I hope no one here will pull the ‘your brain doesn’t mature until you’re 25’ argument. 😆

[@vybie]

@@Evute02 you're am adult in the legal sense...but a year ago you were just a teenager, how much do you think the person can mature in one year?? He was fresh outta highschool, another stupid, inexperienced, naive teen like all of the others. Meanwhile the woman was 30 years old, she has had all of the life experience your twenties can give you and has much more knowledge and overall maturity than a teen can have, she should've known better... But like I said... different times I guess

[@Evute02]

@@vybie It’s pretty ageist to assume that a 19 year old is inexperienced, let alone ‘stupid’. In the same way it is silly to assume every 30 year old has ‘got it together’, if you will. Relationships have complexity and, ultimately, by that age, you are aware of what you are doing and what you want. It’s not a regular age-gap relationship amongst most people but it can happen and it does not come down to living in a different generation. It can work, it can bring joy and many life lessons/experiences if it doesn’t last.

[@laurathepoet]

One of the main reasons why this dynamic gets so much flack is because society says, "How will he have biological children?! She's old and barren! life isn't full without kids!" Until women are seen as more than just baby-making machines, this will always be more taboo.

[@Mina_chan223]

It's a damn shame too. I'm 33 demisexual female and never wanted kids a day in my life. I figured I'd adopt if I wanted them, but I'm less interested as I get older, especially with prices of ANYTHING here in the U.S. A kid, bio or not, is just not as feasible as it used to be. Plus I like my time, money, food and space to be mine. Kudos to parents who can do it. Because of my sexuality, it's a struggle to find a man who isn't in it just for sex or potential kids. Sex is the last thing I care about in a relationship, but I'm open to it if I love him and we have a deep enough connection. Otherwise I literally can't enjoy it. I hooked up with a guy a month after my breakup (5 sex-less years and we were crazy in love) just to try it, and I didn't enjoy it at all. I liked him sure, but no love = no pleasure. He had his fun while I'm thinking, "I should cook that chicken in the fridge before it goes bad." Rant aside, I don't mentally feel my age and have trouble finding an eligible man who can work with my low-maintenance self in my age bracket. At this point, I just want someone to hold my hand while we go on long walks, kiss me randomly, and eat foreign food with me...

[@mam56772]

Aaron and Sam are the weirds couple. Not because of the age gap. But how old he was when the got together, also she was his wife. I don’t care if it’s an older man or and older women, no 40 year old should date a teenager even if the are legal.

[@DMMA0726]

It's interesting that this video cites many of the reasons age gap relationships don't work in general when one party is very young...yet seems to still try to skew it positively because women are the older party. Make no mistake I absolutely say fuck the patriarchy and if people want to have casual dalliances - go for it. But the examples here (not including the questionable statutory ones) basically state women like younger men because they don't like serious committment...then state many of these relationships didn't work because the younger partner couldn't more or less show up in a serious way. The issue with age gaps when people are in their 20s and 30s is the wild difference in life stage and experience as well as potential truama driving them to date older (in the case of women). That does diminish when people get older. But this video seems a bit all over the place.

[@saf_k.33]

exactly, this whole video made me sick i couldn't even finish bc why, as a large platform, r they uplifting these ideas and allowing ppl to respond in their mentally fckd up ways. It's just so wrong and gross n ppl really see it as more empowering than it is harmful🤢

[@Leto85]

I really love it how much of these once taboo relationships are now broken. 'Older women' nowadays come straight out of the 60s. I've you've ever seen a movie that took place in that era or is from that era you'll see what a huge change their generation had made not only in America, but here in the Netherlands as well. Back then tv was already prevalent and we had lots of musicical influence straight from America, so your culture influenced ours, positively in my opinion. Yes, I can definitely see why men my age and younger like older women. I've seen women at the gym who are so good at what they do there, and even if they had kids they still managed to find the time to look after their bodies. I find that very impressive. And when I talk to them I can clearly tell they're only that age by number. What I also love is the positive shift of us men being allowed to talk to women now without them having to fear we want something from them. We do; a nice conversation. And 9 out of 10 that's exactly what I get there.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

1:13 OMG I loved ‘Cha Cha Real Smooth’. I really loved it and I’m so happy to see it mentioned here.

[@fatimahanwaar306]

at least it's better than vice-versa since it doesn't lead to toxic gender norms about women's fertility when men also have a biological clock and "fertility wall"

[@tylerhackner9731]

Older men do it a lot and while it’s called out, it’s also seen as normal for some reason

[@genius179]

I still want to know why this bothers people so much and what’s the line where it’s starts being too much 5, 7, 10 years apart?

[@TheRaiane157]

@@genius179 I've seen people complaining about a 2 yo age gap. I think it depends if the couple belongs to the same generation, like a couple in their 20s, 30s, both teenagers...

[@lostinthestorywithjeremymi9385]

No matter if the older woman and the younger man are happy and content with one another, there's always gonna be some hateful asshole who can't accept the relationship. The hate older women get for being with/wanting to be with younger guys is cruel. There have been and are plenty of age gap relationships between older women and younger guys that have no regrets and haven't been happier. And the hate they get in fiction like with in reality is cruel and vile.

[@jordannewsom3606]

Same with the other way around

[@witchplease9695]

It depends on the gap. I judge 10+ year gaps regardless of gender in the relationship.

[@os8051]

What about just 10 years gap

[@nohandlesforme101]

I loved Harold & Maude. I may not have fully understood the plot as a 15yr old. To me Maude, in a way, teaches Harold to enjoy living life to its fullest.

[@reddenver]

Large age gaps always breed unhealthy power dynamics even if a older women/ younger man seems more beneficial. I get why older women would want younger men- men of their own generation have more rigid gender roles. Over all this was an odd take. You could have taked about the different between older man/ young women vs older women/ younger man but dismissing it as okay especial while using 2 examples that are widely viewed as inappropriate is irresponsible.

[@ahunt1054]

You forgot to mention Hugh Jackman and his wife, who is 13 yrs older than him. Also, Julianne Moore is almost a decade older than her husband. They all seem very happy.

[@Danielle-zq7kb]

6:33 A 15 year old and a 25 year old is a very different age gap than a 25 year old and a 35 year old - please!

[@maxwellmediainc]

I support this but let’s not use Aaron Taylor Johnson as an example 😭😭😭

[@nicoleodeons]

sam and aaron should not be on this list ?? age gaps are fine given they are both consenting adults, but she was a friend of his mothers and he was barely 17. she groomed him. leo dicaprio doesn’t swing that low at least. also liquorice pizza also calling itself chaste while 15 and 25 ur old get together is ?? sure?? i don’t think it’s so egregious the story shouldn’t be told but idc if a child is persuing you, it’s the job of the adult to halt that. so many people seem think women can’t be predators as well.

[@rayiguess]

The fact that individuals here are quick to pose female-led age gap relationships as "Fun" or "Sexy pleasure seeking" is hilarious. If you have an issue with age-gap relationships fine. But please have that same energy when older women engage with younger men. We're all well aware of the fact that a man will be called everything but a child of god if he even looks at a woman 5 years younger than him. The hypocrisy is stunning. Plus, why aren't men given the same grace when they date younger? Why aren't they just looking for fun? Perhaps they are having a bit of their own sexual awakening? If you laugh and chuckle when older women date younger men but rage tweet and curse and yell when men do the same then you clearly are no paragon of gender equality. The people in this comment section are showing how bigoted they can be.

[@hanumharkit1485]

There are 770 asian dramas and movies about older woman younger man romance (korean, chinese, japanese, thailand) but I dont find it in bolywood/indian movies, the male actor in indian/movies always older than female actor.. and indian movie is funny when the male actor as a student but looks like a daddy or uncle (the male actor is too old to become a student)

[@josepharmstrong1788]

Age gap relationships, mixed race relationships, can we all just agree that healthy relationships has no physical mold

[@genius179]

As long as both parties are respecting each other, enjoying each other, not harming anyone, and both adults, who cares? We have much larger problems

[@amuseher]

Love finds you at any age. It isn’t dependent on social mores or a calculator.

[@allyson87]

Assuming both parties are adults, preferably mid-20s+, patriarchy makes the power differential more complicated than when it’s older guy/younger girl. In fact, this kind of age gap seems to lead to more egalitarian dynamics than when both are the same age. Sure they aren’t always forever, but few relationships actually are.

[@dragoncat5767]

​​​​@isaku11n also want to be loved and cared by older woman,and want an equal partner rather than a woman acting as a complete child and taking exact responsibility as a father takes to a child just to satisfy their ego and masculinity I don't think it's balanced if men act too dominant taking 100% one sided control rather than an equal life partner to go through tough times in their life.

[@rara9770]

If he treats you badly everyone will say "well, he is young".

[@aiswaryabersan7983]

It's very common in Bollywood that 30 plus actress getting married to a younger men. Priyanaka just followed her pervious examples in the industry.

[@denisedelgiudice3378]

It's disgusting to label women cougars. It should be on the list of politically incorrect labels. If they don't work out it is often because of social scorning, especially from friends and family who devalue the relationship and insist the man will leave them, or that either partner is temporary or either partner is being used. Thank you for bringing out that they are not focused on sexuality. Also, the older person in the relationship does not mean that they are the leader in the relationship. In fact, it is more likely to be the male who is the persuer.

[@DZ302-Z28]

The problem is men are ashamed to no end for dating younger women, they are called predators while women doing the exact same thing are simply referred to as empowered. The double standard is unreal

[@lorymolino5767]

Thank you

[@giuliapicchiotti]

How can you mock the fact that people were concerned about a relationship between someone who's still A CHILD and someone who's take advantage of him (ATJ and STJ) ??, wtf is wrong with this channel ??!!!!

[@karines1856]

This apply for older/younger relationship regardless gender, it doesn't matter the gap if it's between adults. An adult and a teen is called grooming. That's just abuse.

[@velvetconfessions]

"Love and desire evolve, but they never fade. Older women are living proof that passion knows no expiration date. 💖"

[@paesitopaez4302]

So it's agency when a woman in her 40s chases after an 18 year old guy but it's predatory when a guy does that? I'm sorry but that sounds a bit like a lot of bs. Both are predatory.

[@om3japan]

Question: would the approach of the video still be the same the analysing older men and young women?

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Now that Never Have I Ever is done, can you focus on cousins in media with an eye to Family Matters, Hey Arnold, The Patty Duke Show, The Brady Bunch, Cousin Skeeter. The way Mrs Robinson and Stifler's Mom seduced young men they saw growing up😳

[@jenna11111]

The way I ran to the comment section. Gen Z are going to HATE this 😂

[@maytalacedo2942]

It's hard to say but mixed depending if it's consent or really genuine love because it's hard to say because some say it's out of lust nothing else while not respecting peoples choices of what they want but aslo not noticing or picking up that their being taken advantage of. This topic is touchy.

[@boobookittifukk]

It's not the age gap that bothers me, but the ages at which the problematic relationship starts. Science studies have shown that our brains don't stop developing until we're in our mid to late 20s, so age gap relationships where the younger partner is at an age before their mid20s, regardless of gender, has the potential to be unfair to the younger partner. The fact that ATJ and SJ likely started dating when he was 17, even if they didn't make it official until he was 18 and legal, speaks volumes of why this relationship is problematic. In The Rebound, the older partner breaks up with the younger because she can see that he needs an opportunity to grow up and have his own life experience separate from her. This is why everyone makes fun of Leo DiCaprio's preference for girls younger than 25.

[@dragoncat5767]

Just because brain dosent develops before 25 dosent mean one is still immature or knows nothing

[@jordannewsom3606]

​@@dragoncat5767 Most likely. Not all but most

[@vybie]

I just came here to dislike this video. As soon as I saw a certain couple I remembered how ignorant The Take can be... Huge age gaps in relationships are NOT good, period. Specially when the younger person is their TEENS. Then it's just a predatory relationship... This channel should be banned istg😅

[@mrsclark78]

Agreed

[@tiarezavaleta8850]

I get what you mean, but just see how Woody Allen is still around free and celebrated. I guess representation matters?

[@vybie]

@@tiarezavaleta8850 I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to say D: do u mind explaining a little bit?

[@richardbourton4523]

Honestly really disturbed at the brushing over of the age gap in Liquorice pizza? He’s 15 and she’s 25? That’s not an arbitrary age gap that would be deemed okay if it was a man and a teenage girl and we’re just conditioned by sexist media to accept it - it’s statutory! That age gap is not okay. The age of consent varies from country to country by exact year but it still matters! And the sarcastic dismissal of the specific mechanics of ATJ and Sam Johnson’s relationship was really bizarre too. This channel definitely wouldn’t have been so blasé about it if the genders were reversed and it’s a very strange and frankly sexist double standard. Could there be a more classic Hollywood power imbalance than a young actor/actress hoping to make it big and the director who is making their star vehicle? I know we can’t be SURE of anything improper but the rank dismissal of the very worrying circumstances of their relationship start is very strange. It IS concerning (even if it truly was benign and genuine) and certainly should be worth more than eye-rolling dismissal. I know mentioning these relationships is not tacit approval of them but it certainly seems framed that way here, implying that older women and young men is something to embrace regardless of circumstance. Judging women for age gap relationships when men have had them for centuries to the point where it is the expected norm in Hollywood is obviously wrong and a double standard, but it doesn’t make the point well when two of the more prominent examples here are either demonstrably or at least worryingly problematic. It’s not like we don’t take men to task for creepy age gap relationships more now - Leo and his GFs are widely disparaged as was the otherwise widely liked Chris Evans with his 25 year old GF. Plenty of other men are labelled creeps for big age gap relationships. Understanding of the power imbalances at play in relationships is increasing in general and rejection of improper balances due to age or relative power/status is now quite widespread. Please don’t conflate older women embracing their sexuality with age appropriate men they do not have power over with (a good thing) with older women preying on teenagers or those they have power over. It’s not a good enough excuse to ‘have energy and fun brought into their life’ or ‘feel a sense of freedom to just be themselves’, because there is no excuse for actually predatory behaviour regardless of the genders involved. I’m usually such a big fan of the Take and I really don’t like being negative, but this felt like a misstep, I’m sorry to say.

[@mari9272]

I have been a fan of this channel for years and I am honestly disappointed. Framing an age-gap relationship as "fun brave and sexy" for the older woman is just very shallow. A lot of the older people in this pronounced gap-relationship prey on the inexperience of the younger person. I was waiting for a counter argument that never came. This is just a "girl boss" attitude, stating that "if men do it why don't we?"

[@barbara-annperry5941]

No hot guys in their 50s

[@timothyo718]

Strange how The Take is using a thumbnail while 2/3 of the couples are problematic! Licorice Pizza with a 15m and 25f couple and the Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson one. What were they thinking??!!

[@delfinacravero3927]

These are just movies, they are not a representation of real life, stop explaining the world through the lens of fictional situations, this is a good essay about movies with this topic, life/reality is another issue people

[@philipduffer2669]

My wife is 8 years older than I and we have been together 24 years

[@vercoda9997]

As a 51 year old gay guy, I'm hit on by 18 and 19 year olds just as much as guys in their 20s and 30s - personally, I'm *not* interested in guys older than me, and at that age I also wasn't interested in guys my current age (admittedly, I don't look my age, but still), but sure, it's a reality that some men - gay or straight - are definitely attracted to older partners, not just physically but also mentally. I can't tell you how many guys have told me that they like older men because they know who they are, they're calmer, have grown into whoever they are, etc etc. I'll also add that I'm obviously aware of all the obvious reasons why someone my age shouldn't be dating (or, coarsely, banging) someone 18 or 19 - absolutely legal to do, or years younger in several countries and cultures, but morally - yikes. Yes, I know that you can't necessarily equate gay and straight experiences and life views - although, that said, from my straight friends the dating game doesn't seem especially wildly different - but why shouldn't an older woman have a younger, or much younger, boyfriend or husband? If they work, they work - it's ultimately their own damn business if they're compatible together or not. Let's put it this way - I am beyond sick to the back teeth of seeing, in mass media (pick virtually any film or TV show), an Older Guy paired with a Decades Younger Woman, and that's always presented as the 'normal' status quo. Slap two heterosexual characters together with a father-daughter age gap, and there's zero issue - that's endlessly normalised and portrayed. But an older woman and younger guy? Oh God noooooo - that's still culturally taboo! It's a cheap double standard, and I'd happily see that gone - respect women, respect their own identity - and sexuality - and respect that women have just as much right to have a diverse and different dating etc life as men, and that should be portrayed too. As it stands, culture still seems to be stuck with the '30 = Worthless Spinster' age outlook, where women over 30 can only be shown as a wifely, non-sexual, placid appendage of a(n invariably much older) husband, and I'm fed up of that clichéd cultural reinforcement of that restrictive double standard, myself.

[@intivism]

So this is how Social Engineering works: "Movie plots and celebrity gossip represents reality!" Also, I noticed the underrepresentaion of LGBTQ age-gap relationships in this video. Why is that?

[@Mina_chan223]

Let's sip our tea and wait patiently to find out. As an asexual myself, I'm also curious...

[@ff_m3570]

I do kinda question the morals of sam if she happily accepted an 18 year olds affection when she was old enough to be her mother.

[@chamuelolivier1594]

Emmanuel and Brigitte Macron?

[@eleonorepb4565]

Emmanuel is busy, he has a reform to impose

[@roboelectrooverlord6346]

How are you going to include the "Its only bad if it happens to women." clip from 30 Rock and Arron Taylor Johnson ?

[@Notherj]

Don’t forget the tv-show Younger

[@kendallstark4302]

Love that show 😊

[@Hannah-y2z]

I love this channel, very informtive and entertaining

[@stardime2706]

Is it wrong for me to be in love with an eighteen year old guy when I am a 23 year old young woman? I question my moral judgement a lot here because that is something I would have never thought possible in my life; to fall in love with a guy 5 years younger than I am. Yet when I think about it, I am not shocked because for a guy his age, he is very seasoned and a responsible individual who puts family above anything. Idk what to do

[@jjoohhhnn]

It's so funny how you guys are so openly biased. You did a video dragging Leonardo DiCaprio for dating younger women, which IMO is fair. And now you post a video talking about how cougars are great. fEmInIsM Is aBoUt EqUaLiTy lmao.

[@danaysds]

Is there a list of movies referenced ?

[@b.b.3517]

Speaking on your point, why do women view it as okay when they’re older and the guy is younger but don’t approve when it’s the other way around? Very hypocritical, no?

[@nickolerodriguezvillalobos7233]

Best fictional older women relationship is Samantha Jones and Smith

[@Dragon555]

It’s creepy as hell and makes me think there’s something wrong with them

[@mrsclark78]

There is

[@jlupus8804]

Anyone ok with Paul Thomas Anderson, having a 15 year old date a 25 year old, anyone ok with this is just a pervert

[@olgazaeska3108]

I will never understand mindset of people who think that person old enough to vote, drink alcohol, choose country were they want to study, enlist, get merried and so on, can't choose their sex partner. Like, it isn't the most serious nor potentially dangerous decision which someone in their early 20s. can makes xd

[@Danielle-zq7kb]

I’m surprised you didn’t bring up the show Younger - comedy, but it explored the age gap topic from beginning to end.

[@jthe2ndd]

My ex is 33 and im 26... Shes best i ever had even tho the age gap. Til this day i think about her :)

[@fgl1985]

"Ignoring age gaps it's easier said than done in our culture, specially if it's the woman who is older..." ... well not really ... not at all ...

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

While I am an age is a number, the oldest I would date or marry is 10 years older, but a reasonable one. I will not date an 18 year old as a 28 year old, but maybe that is how someone 10 years older than me would think of me. I wonder if some women date younger men because the men their age go after younger women. I think with some of these relationships, there is a connection that is formed despite the age gap which is ok as long as you are both adults or for teenagers both teenagers.

[@zaneleshongwe5234]

I love this channel entertaining 👌

[@o.m9514]

It’s about the person, not their age, when their adults.

[@AKApopstarAKAproblem]

Why did you say that so sarcastically at 10:00 ? Like you may not believe she’s a groomer but the mocking tone is disgusting tbh

[@rotfuchs333]

I am over 50, average looking and many men young enough to be my sons (and a few older men) are attracted to me. My friends and co-workers have been joking about it for years, "how do you do it?" It has nothing to do with my looks, I think it's because I'm more confident, charismatic and relaxed than I used to be in younger years. I know what I want and i get it. I feel comfortable in my own skin and that attracts people. By the way, I am not interested in young men, to me they look and behave like kids. Symbol „Von der Community überprüft“

[@BombshElle_7]

Bad take. There were 2 horrible examples of relationships that should've NEVER happened. One of them was illegal and predatory, but you sugarcoated it. Smh.

[@angela340278]

surprised they didn't talk about the show Younger

[@DiarraHarris]

No problem with this as long as people (older women primarily) show the same energy with older men younger women and are okay with that. It's only fair, right? Right? RIGHT?!

[@KittiyKyat]

Kinda sucks to notice how a man being younger kind of balances the power dynamic by making him more deferential to the woman. This really highlights how, by default, men of an "equal" age to a woman don't defer to/honestly listen to them. Sad.

[@jordannewsom3606]

That's not how most relationships are. Both the husband and wife submit to each other

[@KittiyKyat]

@@jordannewsom3606 Not most. The power balance often favors the man, in one way or another. Even in couples where the woman is the breadwinner, she statistically also does more housework, because of the pressure of societal norms.

[@jordannewsom3606]

@@KittiyKyat It wouldn't be by force. That's why I said that. Successful couples work together

[@Mina_chan223]

My personal opinion: I get the "ehhs" when someone's lover/partner is young enough to be their child, but if they're consenting adults, okay fine I guess. My own inability to understand the relationship is not a valid argument against it. I may have questions purely out of curiosity, but I'm not one to chastise a relationship I know next to nothing about. As a petite demisexual woman in my early 30s who (according to my peers) looks early 20s, I often wonder if some people in societal depictions of taboo relationships are in it because one or both parties covets what the other has. Beauty, youth, power, influence, and such. It's a factor for some, but not the foundation for others. Edit for spelling. On mobile

[@abyss5883]

I'm a guy and I always liked older women. The reasons vary but there's something more human about older women. I relate to them more