The one question to never to ask me about my cancer

After answering the same well meaning question over and over again in the last few weeks, I decided to make a video about it. It's a tough one and I'd rather not talk about it. Here I explain why that is... and if I feel this way I imagine there are other people with cancer who may feel the same way, for all kinds of different reasons. In any case, everyone is different so sometimes it's a great idea to just let your friend/family member going through this decide whether or not they want to talk about it. It's ok to ask, but maybe ask IF they want to talk about it or if you can ask. Instead of stating the question outright.
-- I am not a medical professional, so please always go to your doctor if you have any concerns around symptoms you are experiencing.

[@BudgetTravelGuy]

What an amazing young lady to have shared her story while dealing with this. Her videos will, no doubt, help a LOT of people for years to come. That in itself is quite a legacy. RIP

[@19aridio69]

RIP 🙏 you helped others going thru the same.

[@phillipsilvers1331]

She was so pretty and brave you will be missed

[@somewhereovertherainbow1171]

rest in peace, enjoy eternity... wherever you are

[@aplainjaneproduction8285]

Noooo, she passed away??

[@samorasamora8835]

@@aplainjaneproduction8285 Ja

[@karinawitchell2915]

A mentally strong and brave young lady. Rest in Peace.

[@2009betterworld]

You are so correct about mentioning a prognosis. I was 35 and my husband was 39 and he got cancer, treated at MD Anderson and they never mentioned prognosis and we never asked!

[@brendanswemmer]

In loving memory of Dr. Christine Hone-Buske, 10 February 1984 - 22 May 2019

[@albertalawyer]

She died quick lol!

[@3rd-Wave_Rebel]

WTF is wrong with you?! The woman passed away and you lol?!

[@jennmoe254]

@@albertalawyer Is that funny? Hopefully you won’t be in the number of us cancer patients! It’s nothing funny about it. It’s suffering basically!

[@dabear2438]

@@albertalawyer There's NO LOL in cancer! Ever! 😡

[@Darkempress45]

@@albertalawyer very very insensitive and horrible comment. Shame on you! 😡

[@suzanneporter2936]

My favorite comment from a friend during my chemo time: "It's good to see you looking so well." Loved that statement!

[@suepete]

I'm not on chemo; I'm disabled though, and I also get that same comment. Drives me nuts. Sending ❤ your way. By the way, my name is Suzanne too. :)

[@christianwouters6764]

I heard and read a lot of horror stories about chemo so I went there in very bad spirits. As it turned out, the effects were negligible, just cold feet. And yes, half of hair was lost but now it has grown back and better than before. What I admire in dr. Christine's insights is that one should see cancer as just one of so many diseases. The patiënt AND his family and friends.

[@Alpha_7227]

So fearless and positive. What a treasure.

[@Desaree1]

I am so happy that I've found your story. I thought it would halp me understand my mom's death from this cancer and now I may even understand why she died without me even knowing she had cancer. Thank You

[@mysticbrady]

Ur my hero! O miss u already! Your smile ,ur heart ur spirit!

[@Jujubeoh]

You’re a wise inspiration! I’m a cancer survivor, and your words would have been so helpful and calming for me during treatment. I know you are helping many! Bless you!

[@SuperDobieGirl]

Oh my. I would never ask such a thing. If I know someone has cancer I try to not ask questions but make general definitive statements such as " you're looking cheerful today" ( if they are) "sounds like you're doing well" ( if they volunteer information ) "i' m glad you have family to give you a hand. I don't ask questions, I listen and try to give an upbeat answer. I figure the person will volunteer what they want you to know, and its rude and invasive to grill them.

[@laurens.5753]

Your channel is so inspiring and helpful. You make excellent points. Ruminating on fear and “what if” doesn’t serve us and odds just aren’t productive whatever they are, because none of us knows where we’ll land in relation to them. It was calming to hear you acknowledge that so matter-of-factly. Thank you for your openness and honesty, and all the best to you!!

[@sharondavies9760]

You are so strong, so eloquent. Thank you for your patience and grace towards everyone - I think if it were me I'd tell them they were being insensitive and rude. Hang in there xx

[@jillbettini2668]

So well put! It's my hope that those sorts of questions come up much less often! You definitely have a way with words! Perhaps if folks are curious, maybe they can educate themselves to become more proactive and helpful . Good intentions sometimes come off as hurtful and condescending. The more people that can become educated and informed, the more we can perhaps come at THIS disease and combat it. I still can't get past your early experience with doctors that didn't dig past their book of statistics. I to had an early melanoma diagnosis. Doctor of course wanted to argue with me, initially the cancer was missed, a year later, you know the story. Always trust your gut!!! Best wishes to you!!

[@yasminalibazoglu3424]

Thank you for mentioning this because since I was in the medical field this is something I would normally discuss. I understand why it is better to not question.

[@marshafutterman8663]

Wishing you the very best! You are such an inspiration!

[@darlar.9043]

Just found your videos. This is an important subject. Thank you for your message. RIP.

[@limari98]

very wise woman! I love your videos and wish you a speedy recovery

[@gedman9527]

lovely woman , you know shes passed away ?

[@russelldavis6405]

I have stage III colon cancer. I would have that I agree with your advise. I often get asked that question and quite frankly sick of answering it!! I'm sure my friends/family mean well, but it is draining. Keep your chin up and keep the positive energy flowing!!! You got this girl!!!!!!!!

[@norm7652]

You are a good person. Thank you so much for the videos.

[@georgiaguardian4696]

This is another great video about this topic. Thank you for sharing it.

[@breej3055]

I thought for sure she'd make it. When you don't have crazy symptoms and you wait too long...its to late.

[@ritahart1087]

Strong woman big hugs ❤️❤️❤️

[@nancyreyes4813]

Well said girl!! Im on the same boat. My 17 year old has or had cancer and that question is always asked. Annoying. They always ask , what stage. Ugh.

[@rebeblankenship8650]

We'd give them a stage😲

[@lindawalters4098]

So annoying,unfortunately I know from experience,it’s bad enough dealing with diagnosis & treatment without having to put up with well meaning people(usually not close friends)asking inappropriate questions with the head tilt,also those who say”My sisters friends next door neighbors etc has cancer & they have the all clear”I have yet to hear those words from a doctor & I am a few years down the line.Thinking of you & sending love & positive vibes💖💖💖

[@lyndajoko9773]

I completely understand and appreciate you explaining that question that people ask so casually. We don't understand and don't realize that its not a good question to ask someone going through any cancer diagnosis. It will make me a better supporter. Thank you.

[@Dubinski2382]

Oncologists are literally the worst doctors. They do the least amount of good for the most money. Fire each and everyone. Clean house. They have failed.

[@pammcdaniel24]

This needed to be said and you did a good job explaining how you feel. God bless you

[@lesliecardwell2653]

Wise words .. thank you !

[@virginiav.1172]

Good advice, thank you.

[@anythingeverything.....687]

REST IN PEACE....

[@ruthbettles7696]

I just came back here to hear your voice. I miss you so much Christine.

[@zoehannah6278]

People can really be thoughteless. Never ever would occur to me to ask someone that kind of a question...

[@StacyForest738]

Right? People are just nosy, insensitive or both. When people you know are ill with something that, you listen...you don't ask, you just listen, be there, and be present in that moment.

[@cd1673]

@@StacyForest738 ❤ 🍃🌹🍃

[@AgentSmith911]

A person may actually ask questions more directly than others, it doesn't mean they are mean 😖

[@rebeblankenship8650]

AMEN to you😇👍

[@robjohnson8861]

Why is it thoughtless? It is an adult question for somebody that can handle reality.

[@ccmarotta8473]

Well said ! You Go Girl!! Big hugs:)

[@biohazardgirl7465]

thank you! big hugs back!

[@christianwouters6764]

Very true. Prognosis is just a statistical figure that concerns past pathologies. I was diagnostisised easophageal cancer in 2018. I didn't want to hear a prognosis and the doctors were tactfull enough not to begin talking about it themselves. Now everything is fine, without easophagus but actually in better overall condition than before the treatment. After all, when you survive this, a prognosis is meaningless. And also if you don't...

[@briannumme9337]

40 people asked for the prognosis? Just confirmation that our culture | society is lacking even common decency. The people who knew Chris will always harbor a very special place in their heart for her.

[@stanm1122]

The cup is still full :)

[@biohazardgirl7465]

😃 😃 😃 😃 😃

[@shaedee7427]

I wish I saw this before I asked one of my best friend the same question. Now she's gone and I'm broken even more. 💔💔😭😭😭

[@malinidlund18]

I think that some things we don’t need to know. We don’t need to ask that. It’s really a scary question and if the person with a serious sickness doesn’t talk about it, don’t ask it. ❤️

[@user_1abc]

What a brave and beautiful woman!

[@nancybeveridgetaylor3256]

You look so much like a dear friend of mine, who is also brilliant and lovely. When I was watching your blog my husband asked: "Hey, is that Amy? Say hi!" It was not, it was this channel not her's. My hope is that you are at peace in eternity.

[@donatellawoodward6301]

I totally understand. I suffered of a condition that wasn't cancer but was serious and dangerous anyway. I hated that question when I found very the only doctor from USA to perform the surgery. on me. I deeply hated that question. I know certain people don't ask cause they want to annoy, they simply do not understand. Sending love to you girl! ❤️

[@christienbbrooks7334]

Totally agree !

[@gia9551]

I had a feeling I knew what the question would be bc I’ve heard this so many times unfortunately. If people want me to know, then I’m sure I will already know. Receive this information personally from your loved one that’s suffering, if and when they choose to share it on their terms

[@elainedoremus2688]

Some people are always negative. I prefer looking on the bright side as well.

[@kathlenestafford4699]

I’m with you snd I’ve told people don’t say I’m so sorry, I say that is a negative thought, my love and prayers for you is better, your strong! Is good, my cup is half full not empty I go t fear death... I know my odds yes I’m not a 55 yr old man, I’m a 56 yr old Tom boy I do smoke, but that not the cause of this type of ghe cancer, I’m sure it doesn’t help but I have other serious long term issues with my pancreas snd digestive issues that have been going on for over 15 yes, I’m positive ghus is the resault if other underlying untreated medical issues, I’ve been on acid meds and cratfate for 7 yrs so really it just been ignored due to not being a women’s common issue...

[@steviecarrolljr3508]

I'm so sorry

[@christienbbrooks7334]

Oh my word !

[@denisepaulsenful]

Ohmigosh! 😮 and besides it’s none of their effn business!! Hello! … my husband asked the doc my prognoses - I didn’t, but he did and the doc says she has - like I wasn’t even in the room - he says she has a 40% chance of living 5-years and a 25% chance of being here 7 years. That info is always completely unproductive. And it’s always dated because stats live in the past. That was in 2007. So do the math sister ❤❤😊

[@MidnightPodcast]

RIP sweety 🙁

[@karen6543]

Nailed it!

[@biohazardgirl7465]

😃 ❤️

[@176103cw]

Hope you are well!!!

[@debbiehobbs9090]

I am curing myself of stage 4 breast cancer without nasty chemo xox

[@sherihedgecock4618]

I have had three kinds of cancers and i am still here. Have faith and good thoughts

[@pamkenel7534]

💜

[@rl8087]

Coffe is bad?

[@nilredowski]

I hope you will get well!

[@Kazilikaya]

She’s dead

[@hollyhocks7360]

That is an awful question to ask you. It’s like asking “ are you going to die soon ? “ I can’t think of any situation that that would be a caring question to ask. I have a brain tumour and kidney tumour I would not thank a friend who asks me that one ! Thank you for sharing your experiences. Sending very best wishes from the UK

[@candyc4713]

This seems like such a normal thing to discuss. I'm a health care professional so thats how my brain thinks. Maybe a better way to ask is what have they told you about your condition? RIP Christine.🙏🏾❤🌟

[@keishasemelfort811]

If you get cancer in the future see how it feels when you are asked. Health care professionals should always try to think how someone receiving bad news would feel. You don't seem compassionate at all. Very tone deaf. I work in Healthcare and I would still never ask a friend anything like that. It's common sense.

[@jasper1754]

Keep on mind Dr's don't want to be the ones to tell you

[@giddygumkins9453]

If you want the answer to that question, Google it! Don't ask it. I am one of those who has to know as much as possible because of family history - it helps me deal - but I know how to use a computer! Sheesh.

[@mereej8924]

omg who would ask that question to someone??

[@biohazardgirl7465]

well intentioned I think because so many different cancers now have pretty decent outlooks, or can have anyways. so much marketing and awareness goes to breast cancer, and yes that IS still a huge killer but not how it used to be. despite being well intentioned, it is not a great question to ask and frankly I also don't ask the doctor. Any new doctor I let them know right away they can keep their stats to themselves.

[@nancyreyes4813]

You would be surprised

[@twerkinalisha7346]

I hate cancer, I wish we could all work together to beat cancer instead of arguing and dividing ourselves.

[@clairebeever3038]

Some people want to know or discuss it …. Fine very personal…. So that is just you ! Very opinionated. ! Was not bothered at all when people ask me …

[@twelveytwelve]

What is with that right thumb? I've never seen anything like that before.

[@virginiav.1172]

You are so rude.

[@dD-iv9tz]

It sucks but you can't blame people to hope you make it the fact is no one knows but you people who care want to support you at the end of day they care so they want to no it sucks trust me I no how much it suck trust me I no but it doesn't change in the end they care and want to no

[@winniethepoohandeeyore2]

Cancer prognosis is very real which is actually a legit question, You succumbed to the cancer,, question answered.

[@ladonnahuckaby2335]

I actually totally disagree with her opinion. Telling the truth can give you such peace. It’s unfair to your friends and family.

[@jessicah3450]

The truth is this cancer happens fast. My dad passed away from it. I think 6 months is average. I understand from the patient’s perspective, not wanting to think about that. But also, the family and loved ones left behind, I wish my dad and his main caretaker had prepared more. I found out he had a DNR when he was already in the ICU days away from death. That hurt. Sorting his small estate was a mess that tore my family apart. He thought he had more time and seemed to be in a bit of denial about the whole thing. The rest of us were left to sort it out, and it didn’t go well. Being honest and communicating well, while also trying to be optimistic that you’ll be an exception and make it. I think communication would have helped. It’s been 5 years, and my mom and I are still very traumatized by the whole thing.

[@knuffelbeer193]

Jessica Hill so he was days away from death and you still wanted to have him resuscitated? In what kind of condition do you think you’ll get him back? There are worse things than death you know...

[@Dubinski2382]

LaDonna Huckaby If a guy says he thinks that doing what he recommends won't work and then charges you a fortune for it....that guy is a horrible doctor and person.

[@keishasemelfort811]

Entitled to your opinion if that's the way you feel. She is the one with cancer not you. So you have no right to call her selfish. People deal with things in their own way. Until you get sick and are dying don't make assumptions about how you will react.

[@keishasemelfort811]

​@@jessicah3450 you know what you may have been in denial too if you were the one with cancer. You can only think about how you feel. How about trying to think about how your father must have been suffering before his death. You expect a terminally I'll person to stop and consider how you feel when they are suffering and in pain.

[@chazlon5061]

So what's your prognosis? Edit: (Don't worry, she won't see this to be offended. She died)

[@aAibella]

Wow. What a nasty reply. You shouldn't have said a thing. It's sad she's no longer here. You're rude, and very disrespectful 😤 😒 how bout delete your nasty comment!

[@melissalee2166]

Coffee is not a cancer drink.Drink aloe vera and raw juices!!

[@robjohnson8861]

I would love to know how men vs women feel about this question. My girlfriend died of breast cancer. Rather than know and confront reality, she and her family wanted to avoid reality. Sad & pathetic.

[@sowhatwearedoomed]

Why wouldn’t someone that cares ask. As for strangers on social media , when you put yourself out there , they will ask. Especially if your videos are making money .

[@aleesharenea8565]

Because SOME THINGS SHOULD NOT BE ASKED. ITS ABOUT HAVING MANNERS AND RESPECT FOR OTHERS. IF YOU EVER BEEN TAUGHT RESPECT.

[@egay86292]

denial. never pretty.

[@shannon7206]

I'm confused as to why you would post this comment. So you must be 1 of those people that asks these types of questions that she was explaining in the video, so why then would u even comment. If that was how u felt, then great but u don't need to project your thoughts of someone elses disease on them. It's called having some tact, manners, and general respect for a fellow human being. I think you might be in denial of how offensive this came across to some people. Sometimes not saying or commenting would be better than saying anything at all.