The Perfectionist Trap

[@jamalcolmson]

In college, my drawing instructor once said, "You have one million bad drawings inside you. Better start getting them out now."

[@johnlime1469]

Same with programming....i think....i hope im not being an idiot lol

[@LucasBatistussi]

John Lime no you’re not ! I am a programmer and I am trapped into that 😭

[@zfox4743]

..

[@latrolettteeeeeee]

it's 1000 not a million you moron.

[@jamalcolmson]

@@latrolettteeeeeee it could be a hundred gazillion. It's hyperbole.

[@TheDistractedFilms]

It seems like every time I'm going through something, The School of Life always has a video to answer it.

[@wealthiness]

IKR Its almost getting creepy

[@anthonyr.9566]

+Jonathan Duenas true

[@alirezamojadam531]

EXACTLY!!

[@13onra]

its happening with me too

[@sonalkumararya7561]

haha...true that

[@Triniswe]

*Perfection* is the most harmful thing towards creativity. *Perfection* leaves no room for improvement, develpment and research.

[@helmiazizm]

I kinda disagree with you. I think perfection, as what we want to be or have or create, is what drives us to be more creative, especially for artist. Even though there's no such thing as a "perfect art", artists will always want to create what they and people think as a perfect art. But as the truth, you're right.

[@Em-gj2sg]

Replace perfection with "doubt"

[@HDInstrumental1]

I'd say that perfection is actually a great driving factor, but wanting to achieve perfection *immediately* with no room for failure is bad.

[@oneoffasmr7971]

Improvement, development and research IS what leads to perfectionism though.

[@WhatSwagLA-Musica]

Wouldn't it be the opposite? Like, because you strive for perfection you put all of yourself into it, thus improving it by trying your hardest to find ways to make it better in all the ways possible to one's point of view?

[@quynhnhulenguyen4629]

Before I become a perfectionist, I have courage to do everything and even the results isn't great I still feel so proud of it. Now everything I made is either perfect or garbage (Mostly garbage for me). Perfectionism may lead you to great achievement but it's exhausting. It's cause procrastination and stress. A lot of time I just want to quit life because I can't be a perfect person.

[@Armendicus]

Nail right on the head..

[@Hannah.Alexia]

Same here I miss the old carefree me..

[@Necrocracy]

Yes, i’m like that too, and i don’t even felt like trying anymore if according to me that doing that something is impossible to achieve (eventho its really not if i at least try). And it would take me days to finished a school works (that could be finished in 2 hours at most) in order for it to reach perfection according to my standard. Oh and thats because i also procrastinated. But i still don’t know if I’m a perfectionist or not.

[@justsomenaivegirl7669]

I feel your pain so much...

[@tiendang7531]

You have a Vietnamese name, would that translate to an Asian upbringing in which the urge to quit life is quite overwhelming because you can never a perfecr person to your parents and social expectation?

[@AdventumDiaboli]

A master has failed much more times than the student has ever tried...

[@bennyton2560]

word

[@cupofjavaproductions3138]

Very true

[@TicTocRobotSnot]

How many crummy videos did you produce before finally creating this masterpiece?

[@perfectsplit5515]

LOL!

[@EpicMRPancake]

Then again, the scripts of most of these videos are pretty much verbatim the written chapters in the book of life. I'm not complaining, they're great, and a video to enhance them really is fantastic because it's easier to digest. I mean people are more likely to click on a 3 minute video than they are to read a wall of text.

[@MakinItHappenn]

What's that book inparticular you are talking about bro?

[@sSunbeamM]

int value; if (value > 1) { value = true; } return value; ?

[@MakinItHappenn]

Technocracy Ah so it's by the same company. Cool.

[@CeruleanPandas]

these videos always help me regain a sense of perspective

[@gnomismocultural8547]

keep reminding yourself of this ,because you will forget if you don't , your mind tends to return to the previews perspective ,,keep reminding util you earn this new perspective.

[@Islaras]

hi kiko

[@tvrdo]

There is no such thing as "perfect". You are beautiful as you are Courage. With all your imperfections you can do anything. -Courage the Cowardly Dog Show

[@Music-mi5gg]

😭 miss that show so much

[@ryangmilam]

😤😦😭 i love that show

[@illpat6361]

RETUUUURN THE SLAAAB

[@mangomania7321]

was that murial talking to courage? the memories. It hurts.

[@tvrdo]

It was some alligator

[@hounamao7140]

so hard to do unperfect things though.... so hard for me that I end up procrastinating to have an excuse for not making something perfect

[@captainjackrana]

i can absolutely relate to that.. procrastination as a result of imperfections

[@hounamao7140]

not "as a result", "in order to" do something imperfect without feeling terribly frustrated about it since there was no choice but to rush things and not doing it perfectly thanks to procrastination

[@abbeybarton7281]

Me. That’s what my therapist told me because my mum suspected ADHD. We were going to work on fixing it but then my therapist moved away and I’m procrastinating seeing a new one

[@abbeybarton7281]

Houna Mao No, it is as a result of imperfections. Procrastination is a way that protects us from being imperfect. Since we’ve experienced imperfections before we don’t want to experience it again and hence procrastinate

[@DragonNestMP]

You should embrace and own it

[@bolivar1789]

For friends who suffer from this, here is a list that can be helpful: 1. I love this quote by Rebecca Solnit: " So many of us believe in perfection, which ruins everything else, because perfect is not only the enemy of the good; it's also the enemy of the realistic, the possible and the fun". 2. Malcolm Gladwell has an excellent, really excellent podcast called " Revisionist History". And the episode named " Hallelujah" is dedicated to creativity. It is so interesting because it follows the adventure of one famous song, which was a horrible song when it came out. But then the singer worked on it for years, and it became a huge hit. I don't mention on purpose which song it is, so that you listen to the podcast!! No it's not Hallelujah:-) But they talk about it too. It took Cohen years to make that song work! That episode will certainly change the way you look at creativity and make you feel more compassionate about yourself. 3. One very important thing is to be able to say: " I am enough". If you read Brene Brown's book on Vulnerability, you may reach that very fortunate state of mind. At least for a while. 4. One of the best books I have read on creativity is Elisabeth Gilbert's " Big Magic" . I have found a couple of ideas in it a bit too esoteric may be. But the way she motivates you and encourages you is really wonderful. You can also listen to the interview with her on the " On Being with Krista Tippett" podcast. That's one great conversation on creativity and about all our misconceptions about it. She says for example, that any interesting activity requires 90 percent of boring work. But if you insist on the routine and keep working, then something happens, a "transformation" that makes all your efforts worthy again. She says she grew up in a farm and this is exactly what happens there too. She got the " perseverance" from there! 5. There is also an On Being podcast with Rex Jung, professor of neurosurgery. The episode is called " Creativity and the everyday brain". He says the very same things that we have learned in this lesson: that creative people fail much more! Because they are much more active! Some stuff comes out as good, some as bad, but they always keep going. 6. Not taking ourselves too seriously and seeing our failures with humour is also very helpful. Physicist Freeman Dyson says that: " Einstein's sense of humour went hand in hand with the fact that being a great scientist means failing a lot of the time. So his sense of humour was what allowed him to pick himself up and keep going and even be graceful about it . " 7. There is a wonderful TED Talk by Carol Dweck called " The power of believing that you can improve". She also has a talk on TSOL channel on Perfectionism. She offers us a totally different perspective, saying that we must learn to enjoy and appreciate OUR EFFORTS , rather than being obsessed by the outcome. I think if we love what we are doing and have it always clear in mind what it means to us, and if we are just " curious" about the outcome, rather than "anxious", we can be much more productive, and lead a more fulfilled life. 8. Friends from Brazil, do you remember the song "Aquilo que dá no coração" by Lenine? Well he says: " Chega sem avisar" But for that to arrive, we must be in a state of mind where we are really open and kind to ourselves!

[@bolivar1789]

Indeed!

[@MrGAMERSVID]

Thank you for this very helpful comment😭😭

[@shinebox2574]

No one is going to read all that...

[@keahnbruzzi8423]

I read it all

[@bolivar1789]

Hello Keahn! Thanks a lot for your time:-) Have a nice Sunday!

[@misho129]

Nothing is objectively perfect because the idea of perfectionism is subjective. My perfect could be your garbage. That's another reason it's a trap.

[@desse56]

And this is why rather few very skilled people in their line of work are genuinly happy with their creations. Also, the better you get at something the more critical you can be towards yourself because of increased knowledge about the complexities of that field of work. Ugh..

[@raza838]

it's extremely hard to not be critical of yourself, because of, like you said, increased knowledge on whatever the subject is. But I have to start reminding myself that nothing is perfect, things are just "good/bad/or good enough"

[@mr.whiteredneckconservativ2754]

Exactly

[@jayfawn8478]

Similar to somebody's trash is somebody's treasure

[@lloppka7080]

This is completely wrong. The definition of perfectionism is "refusal to accept any standard short of perfection." The definition of perfection is "the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects." If your idea of "perfect" is not one that is "free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects" then your idea by definition is not perfect. For example, just because you may say your opinion of the term "bachelor" is one who is married, does not mean the definition of a "bachelor" is subjective. The definition of a "bachelor" is that he is unmarried, regardless of your own ignorance.

[@JennaDrawing]

Very interesting video, made me rethink how I approach drawing a little bit. I often end up comparing myself to other people without even considering the effort that they've put in to get to where they are. Thank you for making this video!!! :)

[@rosedebrantes28]

same! I was on a artists social network before, and had to leave it cause like wtf.. there were kids that drew like only for 4 years and were 12 yet they anatomy and coloring was something I couldn't achieve despite being glued to a 2b pencil my whole life. In the end I quit drawing.. like I still doodle but I am not trying to create significant artworks anymore. I think when it comes to art the effort=success rule just doesn't apply.

[@xianated]

but I think it does still apply! It's just that for some people, they might see fruit earlier than others due to a "natural aptitude". But even people with natural inborn talent need to practise! And practise is painful! Even after 10 years I have not managed to produce a photorealistic drawing. But then again, in those 10 years, my interests have changed a lot! I prefer using simple cartoons to show meaning. People still see a face with two dots and a line - " :) ", so you know, there's still a lot of scope for you! Maybe you need to learn colour theory (I know of it, but.. heh heh heh) or whatever. Some people might need classes and more specific guidance to develop a skill. Some people don't. But compare yourself with yourself. How have you improved over time? I think that's a far more encouraging question to ask. Even improving from 10/100 to 40/100 is an achievement! ;) good luck!

[@princealmighty5391]

@@xianated you will never ever achieve photo realism it's a abstract verb a photo make bring sense of realism but those type of artist use some kind of tricks after studying computers for ages You won't ever achieve perfection in art trust me You won't achieve perfection in anything it leads to failure so always aim to get something done every day

[@princealmighty5391]

@@xianated but agree with everything else you said

[@ann4714]

Same. But i learned to love the process than the results

[@aaron-4062]

You know how, on youtube, you're subscribed to lots of channels, but for only some of them you watch every single video? This is one of those channels, has been for years. Sincere compliments to the creators, it's hard to be that consistently awesome.

[@shreyakapoor4181]

Thank you, for your voice. I was always in this 'perfectionist trap'. I wanted to study it all and be the brightest student but it never felt 'good enough'. I made such ambitious goals for myself but never anticipated the time and failure it would require to be there. Every time, when i didn't quite succeed to complete my planned schedule, I found myself fallen into this guilt of never been good enough and everything felt falling apart. I have had anxiety, panic attacks and worse when you isolate yourself. You feel like no one will understand you and then it becomes toxic. For any student who is going through this phase- i just want you to hang in there and trust the process. It takes failure and mediocrity to be there at your perfect place but till then just be patient and trust the process.

[@shreyakapoor4181]

Here is how i fight it- 1)Take mini steps, don't give yourself a big/ambitious task at once but break it into smaller tasks. The more smaller task you achieve.....then more dopamine is secreted into your body and you would feel closer to your ultimate goal. 2) Always tell yourself to- 'Trust the process. You have more failures in you....The path to achieve something big comes with failure and mediocrity'. 3) Always try to ask for help when you are losing it. Even i like to rant it out on internet when i feel lost. You can try it too, It helps. Tell your family and friends what you are going through, trust me it helps. 4) Realize, you'd be there someday. The best you can do is JUST KEEP GOING and enjoy the mini failures it brings with it.

[@samriddhidubey9759]

thanks

[@vivienvelasco580]

Thank you im crying right now because i hate myself so much

[@antisocialwarda]

im 15 and spent the past year doing nothing but studying and studying, i sacrificed my hobbies, my relationships, my health everything just to be "perfect" and compete with this god gifted classmate who gets 100% without even trying. I compared myself to her so much that i beat her in class but when the boards rolled around i was so exhausted and nervous and anxious that i could not study. When i did study and put my all in it and went to give the exams my hand would not shaking and i messed up my math exam. Yesterday was my last exam and i misread a question and lost 3 marks, lost somr more marks in multiple choices while all my other classmates who were average grade students claimed their exams went really well- it broke me. I was so stressed, anxious, paranoid and underconfident. I cried and cried and cried. I couldnt get out of bed in fear of getting bad grades after sacrificing everything for these exams. Im not break now and i should be enjoying but ive gotten so depressed i cannot get out of bed. Im terrified of not being perfect, hell my underconfidence self is manipulating me into thinking that even the average students will get better grades then me and ill be pushed to the bottom and all my teachers who once praised me will be so disappointed that i will never be regarded as the good student again. Its breaking me both mentally and physically. Im so tired, im tired of trying and never getting where i want to. Im tired of myself and my stupidity and im tired of feeling things and im tired of always wanting to be perfect. I dont want to live anymore but i the thought of unaliving myself is scary so i spend each day letting me thoughts eat me alive, torture me, tell me im worthless, that the little achievement i got has withered and now im nothing but a broken little girl who tried her best and failed and now everything will judge me and tell me how even shiny things get dull. Im so, so exhausted. I just want all of this to end i just want peace for once.

[@Fyodor-nn9pr]

Thank you so much ,i am right now going through this phase instead of taking solutions i go and wafch anime,youtube shorts and movies,memes to escapes for a short period of time. My oh my i am running ,i am running from everything coz i am tired ,i want to achieve goals but this perfectionist is eating me up,its killing my soul.i feel like giving up on life.i am alone and if i say to a family memeber then theh overreact so i keep to myself and isolate.i will follow your tips miss thanks a ton

[@Anatolope]

I love I how short and digestible your videos your are. Amazing for when I’m taking a shit or doing dishes

[@ljay3379]

Dang...that hit me hard. I struggle with chronic perfectionism and this condensed everything I knew in pieces into a one cohesive video. It really puts it all into perspective. Thank you!

[@AbdellahDahioui]

Thank you Alain! I almost went into tears during this video, I recently graduated and started looking for my "perfect" career, but nothing happened except for the sudden exposure to spontaneous success of other people. It was a huge weight on my chest, now it's relieved, thank you again

[@nicoleo.2462]

This video really demonstrates that the grass is always greener on the other side. Great success is not simply possible. You must work for it and endure the struggle.

[@upandatom]

This video fills my heart and warms my soul

[@MorganFrancophile]

Story of my life! I wish I had had someone tell me all this when I was growing up. It would have saved a lot of time and heartache! Alas! But we also say to shoot for the moon in order land amongst the stars! Perfection can also be a motivator to get us as close to it as possible!

[@maynard45]

wtf?

[@0xF33D]

such an appropriate question in such an appropriate time; marvellous!

[@mohamedelmasri144]

I wish I could meet you personally to thank you for making this video, it is a true life changer. Thank you

[@keenenwade8687]

Oh shit waddup, my mental heros hitting up some random dude

[@latrolettteeeeeee]

Loser

[@raza838]

I have to say I really enjoy these videos and also the comments left by your very intelligent and open-minded viewers.

[@isaacleach1]

"Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good" - someone

[@Nonalcoholicanonymous]

This made me cry.... Thank you.

[@BenWrightsamui]

The greatest source of unhappiness for people is the comparison between our own achievements and the perfectness of the images of outstanding human achievement and giant collaborative projects we have fed to us when we use social media (among other things). The relative difference. More people are perfectionists because we're been socially conditioned to hold ourselves to a higher standard. Our interconnectedness is our downfall.

[@virvisquevir3320]

I am a perfectly imperfect perfectionist always striving for the very best... there is always room for improvement... and that is perfect... learn, improve, grow... the perfection is in the process... not in any static state of being... orient your intentions well and go for it boldly!

[@prachi579]

Thank you. This exactly happened with me. I always tried to do everything perfectly but I wasn't satisfied with my work at all. And as time passed I just hated myself of not being perfect & I guess in between I got depressed too. Thank you. Now I'll read more biographies to learn their failures that led them to success. Thanks a lot.

[@viktorija2554]

me too, i just do not know how to get better.

[@prachi579]

Even I was stuck for long time...

[@viktorija2554]

Prachi Rahate it is hard, but and the end when you realize that every person goes through the same struggle, you know that the best days are in front you. "I was happy when I found the people who are just as unhappy as I am"

[@Smashachu]

I've actually had long discussions with my therapist about this topic, being stuck in a loop of perfectionism and disappointment. Self compassion is what seems to be the answer, sure you failed, but that's one step forward to our goal. Being disappointed and feeling hopeless is 2 steps backwards. My favorite quote on this is "failure is one step towards success"

[@thaliagraichen8312]

No one is perfect. Perfection is absolute. Nothing is absolute.

[@makdavian3567]

THIS SHOULD BE EMBEDDED IN EVERY COURSE IN EVERY CLASS OF EVERY SCHOOL.

[@makdavian3567]

....also look up Carol Dweck's The Growth Mindset.

[@SquareSquidStudios]

Whenever I say this, people get pissed off that I broke the illusion...

[@MuitoDaora]

it's nicer be in the matrix.

[@crackhead100000000]

mgtow

[@TorquemadaTwist]

I've had that too. Sometimes the 'magic of great people' is valued by others because it gives them an excuse not to try. 'I'm just not as naturally gifted' gives them a license not to make an attempt. When you say 'you can do it' you're pointing out that the door is open when they don't want to acknowledge that there is even a door.

[@Alexandra_cmc]

It reminds me of Anne Lamott who wrote that one of her biggest fears is dying without hiding her rough drafts and having everyone find out what a shitty writer she actually is. People think that a masterpiece appears quickly and effortlessly, and sometimes it does! But often, behind the scenes we find the crumpled sketches and the horrible first drafts stashed away. There's always a process and I think it's important for artists and creators in general to share and to remember.

[@Chiefbigcorn]

Comrade, that was a good reminder of life. I had forgotten the struggles of all while searching for my own perfection. Danke

[@meghnasoni]

every time i think TSOF cannot make a better articulate and insightful video than this, they prove me wrong with a new one. I look up to this channel so much.Thank you

[@jamesdown5064]

I really need this. Thank you school of life. Sometimes I can leave slightly mean comment on a video, but at the end of the day, you guys have really opened my eyes and made my life better. And to that I am eternally grateful.

[@MerisProsic]

I know exactly what you mean TSOF... I didn't upload my first movie here on KZbin for more then a moth because I just thought it wasn't "perfect". Whenever I wanted to upload it, I found something new I have to make better...Until I realised that the "imperfection" kind of made it "perfect". I think that we often seek for the perfection, even though it already is in front of us...

[@gopetogle]

Your videos are beautiful!

[@SebastianLopez-nh1rr]

I had the same experience while designing a culture blog, I spent lots of time in the looks and getting anxious about how much was left to do until I realized I would never be finished, at that moment I decided it was time to upload the blog and to treat it as a living being, one that will always be changing. I think life is, thankfully, like that, a never ending pursue of the perfection of ourselves.

[@xinic5]

For years I have wanted to write a comic, which a part of it's "charm" to me is the idea that it's not going to be perfect because it's a silly story for a "first comic" for me to write. Yet I constantly find myself expecting perfection when I go to draw or write it. I usually just find it frustrating and put it down and go do something unproductive.

[@jhay3966]

"I did not fail 99 times, I just found 99 ways to make the light bulb" -tom eddison

[@loveyeojachingu448]

i hate him.

[@Rafirufi]

*not

[@someoneya8505]

@@loveyeojachingu448 why..?

[@ms.m3n]

these videos shed such truth and inspiration to push forward in what feels like a foggy and difficult struggle to surface my little contribution to humanity. I really appreciate these videos

[@ArnoldWatson]

You, sir, have restored faith in myself and to embrace my failures as all creatives and the like must do. Thank you indeed.

[@storytellers1]

Love these essays. Perfectionism on a personal level is very inhibiting. Good read is the War on Art that touches upon it We are working on video essays but we focus more on film. Could use some feedback from you guys!

[@fullbloodednarutofan]

The first time I actually bothered to check a channel since this comment sounded so humble. The quality is pretty good, don't give up and keep on trucking!

[@Unknown-lf9be]

Your videos are interesting.Really Interesting

[@Did6661]

Subbed!

[@raffacasting]

im ready subscribed in your channel. fantastic. keep doing it.

[@amberallen4181]

I have problems with perfectionism. But it's more different now. I have an autistic child and a husband. I can't predict what kind of day my family will have. So while I'm seeing tasks that need to be done, family life gets in the way. The more I get behind the worse catching up will be but it's not my procrastination it's hectic life I have. I can't change the people around me, I see the mess staring back at me, and my exhausted mind and body just cry for help while I wake up and do it again.

[@enzantakeshita8838]

T-This is amazing WHERE HAS THIS CHANNEL BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE?

[@cagegrappler]

This was the answer I needed! I am one of so many ambitious individuals whose endeavours bares the burden of achieving greatness, and thanks to this video, I now know that the obstacles I face are all a part of the natural process of eventually tasting success.

[@Reilly5]

I must say that I love how you advertise the channel store. It is such a breath of fresh air compared to the blatant in video ads of other channels.

[@Dinckelburg]

It's as if Alain is holding a mirror to my soul with every video. The subject always feels so personal but the fact that it was made demonstrates to me that I'm not alone and that makes me feel much better.

[@thecasestudychannel6335]

loved it, loved this - Our perspective is imbalanced because we know so well our struggle from the inside, and yet are exposed to the apparently pain-free narratives of achievement on the outside. We cannot forgive ourselves the horrors of our early drafts largely because we have not seen the early drafts of those we admire.

[@k1tdragon5]

It was expressed to me before about a saying that involve getting a project done, don't worry too much about perfection. What is perfect now maybe bad just a few years later when we are better.

[@daynasitsonplatypus7820]

his voice is incredibly soothing .

[@mimaesthetic2517]

I'm subscribing. things become obvious, simple and in perspective when I watch these videos. I started on "how to remain calm" and I just kept looking for more. such wise words!

[@catlover-hq4dt]

Wow thank you for this. And it's really sweet how The School Of Life actually replies to our comments.

[@kac327]

"I know I ask perfection of a quite imperfect world - and fool enough to think that's what I'll find"

[@TheMisskittybee]

In really glad you used art and architecture as an example on this one. It can turn you into a anxious mess you when you are still struggling with the beginning of your

[@smashingpumpkin3]

I cannot like or love this video enough!! There is always so much struggle and failure behind the scenes- thank you so much for making this. Failure isnt the end product, its part of the process, keep going.

[@mooripo]

Truly a school of life you channel ! This video precisely reminded of a chapter in the subtle art of not giving a fuck about how our expectations are shaped by constant bombardments by the media only exposing the bright and exceptional side whilst putting to sleep the countless opposing moment of mundane life

[@SockTaters]

This! It's relatable, it's well-explained, and it requires us to reconsider our knee-jerk desire for instant success in place of a more reasonable philosophy. This is the type of video I subbed for.

[@joyh.729]

WONDERFUL video! Thanks 🌟🙏🏽

[@tanvijha7629]

I instantaneously subscribed yesterday after watching ur video.it feels like I can listen to you forever. it is mind opening, doesn't feel like a methode of passing time which most videos on KZbin are.it feels like im adding something valuable to my life every time I watch these videos.

[@SparkTFS]

I'm on my 20s and still struggle a lot with it. It reached a point where I isolate myself from relationships if I feel I'm not a perfect company to them, for any little thing that I may do wrong (like taking more than some hours to reply to a message in a busy day). The way I live right now is insufferable, I can't keep on living like that. I don't take enough care of myself, my relationships, my personal, academical and professional goals, it's awful...But I know that some day I'm going to finally be free from this sickening cycle of insanity.

[@74hz15]

Just get the mindset that what ever you want to be good in, treat it as your job. When you are working, you are working generally around 8 hours a day(you can do less or more depending on the time you have ofc.) . Put that time into any field you are interested in and you will be successful sooner or later. "Be better than you were the day before" and you can not fail.

[@kanjanathevik5234]

All the time, I have fantasies in my mind. I just fantasize about the future and the past (I could have done like this instead of that). My mind have cravings for attention, validation from others and I have the assumption, "if I am perfect, everyone will like me or no one will reject me". Most saddening part is : 1. I lack logical mind because of perfectionism 2. I just set so many goals and planning heavily but do not get started (even if I start something, I just fall into other goal) 3. I cannot get self satisfied, I always doubt myself 4. People do not find it interesting to acquaint with me because I always try to speak eloquently (even in a casual conversation). Especially friendship, love have not worked out ever for me So many things to say about the perfectionism that ruins my life Well I want to be logical, realistic, satisfied, grateful human being. I have started learning how to do that

[@nathanyao3525]

The type of perfectionism I'm talking about describes the amount of effort that went into creating this high quality of a video.

[@belgrow]

we all have at least one success.... even a person who fails at everything succeeded in trying....awesome video

[@gastruperstrasse]

Thank you so very much. Everytime I watch your Videos I feel comforted and some broken pieces of my heart slightly heal. 💖

[@kalidali7023]

The only channel I'm deeply happy to have founded

[@Karantkr]

Just blown away by each video I ever see from this channel!!

[@christianomar92]

This video really strikes a chord in me. I'm constantly beating myself up and putting myself down over how unsuccessful I am, even though I know that most people I know are in situations just like mine. I really want to change this, because all these self negativity keeps me from working towards my goals, which in turn keeps me feeling depressed and unsuccessful. Next time I'm feeling like a failure I'll try to keep this video in mind and remind myself that nothing worth having will ever come easy.

[@concernedcitizen9223]

These videos give me so much hope.

[@FullTimeHypocrite]

spot on, success is hard, maintaining success is just as hard, at the end of the climb there is no end of the climbing

[@spider-turtle481]

My parents made me fall into the perfectionist trap. My mom always wanted me to 'only' get A's in school. And it starting to scare me a little becuase I'm going to a private school, and so far I have a 3.5 GPA.

[@MoniiChanTheUnicorn]

unfortunately schools and parents teach children to fear failure, and as such they don't know how to handle nor harness it! I was a 'failure' for many years by taking the path less travelled by, it was so isolating and difficult, whereas now I have surpassed my peers for putting the hard work in and failing early, I am now enjoying the fruits of my labour :)

[@Xteaty]

I'm so glad that I found this channel.

[@atsushi2962]

Good insight! I success is proven by lots of failure and I persevere through failures.

[@husainshaikh8724]

for the first minute I was like "wtf this dude is saying" but later it made sense. simple yet innovative !

[@DarkDruid7]

I was disappointed with the content on this channel as of late, but after this watching this highly-relatable video, I remember why I subscribed.

[@thehellbreakersking]

Thanks, School of Life, you may not know me and I may not know you, but you helped me today.

[@komal9973]

some of the most successful people have been through criticism and hardship but it got these people further up to succeed

[@matthewc7492]

this video hit hard personally to make it even better his voice is so soothing

[@Vorpal_Wit]

I've been draggin this weight around my neck for 25 years. I tend to stop doing the things I'm not immediatly great at, even if they are the things I really love to do. I just deny myself the joy of doing them, just to avoid the misery of not being satisfied with my results.

[@blastedburrito110]

This, of all of your videos was the one I've needed the most. Keep up this good work, you create masterpieces.

[@iamjohnporter67]

The teachers in my school was so toxic to me. Whenever I didn't get a better score they would always tell me "Listen if you are not doing good enough, you will never succeed in life" so I worked myself really hard to be a perfect student. I got mostly A's and B's but I get really mad whenever I get a B because to me it was just "not good enough" So in 12th grade I finally managed to get all A's in every subject. The teachers were proud of me and they exempt me from exams because they figured that I was so smart that it would be "not worth it" to me. I just felt really upset and stressed that I had to work myself this hard just to please my teachers and my parents since they would always tell me "Getting A's in school is showing you're being smart, a B is unacceptable"

[@playmaker7094]

totally relates😂

[@jkorez1]

This applies for parents as well. Often times child has wrong idea about his parents, we see them as perfect. At least in early childhood when we don't know their mistakes.

[@mackycabangon8945]

Describes my ambitions so accurately. That is why I HATE my ambitions, and will do lots of things to stop my ambitions.

[@djtoxicdhg]

I don't know what I like more this dude's accent or his knowledge

[@janhundling4647]

And even the things we consider as masterpieces aren't perfect. Often the creater of the "masterpiece" is already trying to create something that is more in line with what they want to create. You start with trying to reach something, but once youre at that point you're busy with trying to reach something new. It's never ending, that's why you should focus on the path instead of the destination. I like the idea of the museum

[@thomholio]

Sitting here at 3 in the morning, after a conversation with my band mate. I was just talking with him about how I expect every song I write to be amazing, and how my desire to create perfect songs are stopping me from even creating them in the first place. Then I come across this. What perfect timing. sp00ky 0.0 Time to start writing some shitty songs!

[@alihadimajeed3372]

it looks like someone mimicked TedX videos perfectly. this is my first time ever seeing a video from your channel. after finishing watching it then i checked the channel and realized that this wasn’t from TedX. nice job.

[@김상우-b5h]

you always post when i most need it

[@TaraWagner]

As an entrepreneur and someone who consults/coaches other business owners, this is SO true. I often have my clients tell me who they are comparing themselves too, and then make them do research on that person - scroll back to their first posts, find podcasts of them talking about their first years, dig into their earlier works. It's quite a confidence boost! LOL

[@snow5570]

Quality content

[@alessaklinger498]

thank you so much for this school of life you saved me from a life crisis :)

[@herpsenderpsen]

I am 19 years old, and i've already had to confront myself with the perfectionist thoughts that would always drag me down. I'm now living my life the way i want to, instead of aiming towards a goal i don't have a passion for. Never in my life have i felt more like my own boss. Having to take a year off from studying is the best thing that could happen to me, because otherwise i would be working towards a degree in something i now know i'm not interested in. I'm not lazy anymore, i can manage almost every aspect of life without feeling like i'm gonna explode of anxiety/stress. I'm also perfectly fine with not being perfect, something i couldn't accept before. I know that i can achieve anything i want... emphasis on *want*. I'll figure out what i'm passionate about, someday.

[@HDInstrumental1]

This is an amazing video. Inspiring and reassuring. Knowing that i'll have to spend another 5 years of my life in an engineering university, this makes me think of my relatives, who are also engineers. They had to go through the same shit i'll be required to go through, yet to me it seems like they graduated with their eyes closed and their hands behind their backs.

[@JPcoil]

Well Mr "School of Life" I think you may have summed this problem up perfectly, and did a pretty fine job at making a great video about it. Nice ;)

[@sebaacosta8599]

This is the best therapy ever!!!!

[@pingu1552]

This is SO what I needed right now. Thank you.

[@Flexorciste]

Thank you for the subtitles. My english isn't perfect and it's sometimes hard to understand everything without any subtitles, so thank you to put it availaible on your videos. Goodbye

[@abridgedplane4417]

I've definitely fallen into this trap, like most people. However, not only does that make me feel as though I can accomplish nothing, but so does the constant fleeting obsessions I have. It's as if I'll never find something I truly enjoy, something that I can keep at for a long while and get really good at. Nothing captivates my interest for long.

[@NightmareCrab]

and no plugs or even extra words at the end. Thank you!

[@ColonelClusterFunk]

Yet again this channel has the perfect video at the perfect time

[@androidanonymous8988]

Thank you, with tears of joy on finding a relevant issue explained 👍

[@oof-go3iz]

Ugh I can't even make a good visual board without feeling like this