The Psychology Behind Ghosting

The psychology behind a ghoster or someone who chooses to be with one is that they love to be in a relationship where there is no commitment, knowledge, or personal accountability.
When they feel sad, lonely, or want attention, they participate. When they don't need it, they disappear. So there's no emotional responsibility.
See more of this video by searching "Why People Ghost You And Why You Attract Them?" on KZbin.
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[@ZetaCancri]

"I just got busy even though I have my phone with me 24/7 and I do nothing all day '

[@curlyhairdudeify]

Working, exercise. Etc..

[@summersalix]

Mine is too busy fitting in his multiple naps and bong tokes thru out the day...

[@ayaneesarkar8538]

Truth has been spoken 🗿🗿 Funny when these Ghosters come out of their shells telling funny excuses 😂

[@keishaloves1762]

Got busy lying 💀

[@yoyito2020]

OMG my ghoster is exactly like this. He spends ALL day in twitter and when I try to reach out, he always uses these types of excuses. Not only to me, but to my friends too. He is a stay-at-home dad, I understand that, but he acts busy and tweet like 200 per 10 min.

[@gionagrace6279]

People who ghost 👻 very often have personality disorders. Many narcissists will ghost. That's very common in the narcissistic community. Move on and forget you ever heard their name. They will only hurt you and you don't need THAT. You deserve the BEST!

[@hyperionsolomon]

Pretty much any cluster B really

[@bernitacenteno1326]

I guess the narcissists are communal but they don't want their significant other to be communal like they are. Why ? They are non-empathetic attention grabbers.

[@hyperionsolomon]

@Bernita Centeno bpd or npd, they do it for different reasons. My ex with BPD who I suspect was NPD BPD comorbid (but will never know)...did it because she was afraid people would find out out her abuse (which is why she projected what she was doing onto me) - the internal world of each one is different and it is difficult to figure out (a lot of it we just have to let go - because it will never make sense...because they're mentally ill)

[@kali11123]

​@@hyperionsolomon wdym

[@hyperionsolomon]

@The Wanderer people with BPD or NPD live in a world filled with cognitive distortions and are *legitimately* "mentally ill". It is difficult to accept the reality of someone who is mentally ill because its so skewed, additionally, both of these people are hurting intensely and therefore hurt people around them. Their behavior is manifested in a way that looks and feels similar, but the reasons why they do them are often different; the damage feels the same in the end for those around them though. This is why a commitmemt to a lifetime of therapy as a primary goal in life is critical to these people, lest they NEVER stop hurting inside and those around them. We're talking ten to thirty years of in person therapy, not just online. Unfortunately, most live in denial about thier mental illness (that hurts to acknowledge) and these poor souks think they are better and can quit, but they must never quit, and they need different forms of therapy, often. What I'm saying, is that 40 to 60 percent of what they say about you (for instance, accusstions), is actually them. The weak sense of self causes them to project their thinking processes and feelings (which they think are fact - feelings are NOT facts), onto someone else. Reassurance is met with abuse because they think it's gaslighting. But feelings aren't reality. They are mentally ill. What I'm saying, is that they live in a crazy wacky world of delusional thinking, and this hurts people without them even knowing it. What I'm saying, is that in the end, half of what they say seems like a lie, but it's really just mental illness, that they fully believe hook-line & sinker. In BPD or BPD, the damage is the same to the partner, therefore differentiation seems rather pointless. And diagnosis is not a productive way of making sense out of things. The only thing that matters is the behavior and how it affects people. So in the end... A person who has been damaged by one of these people must come to terms with the fact that it will never really make sense. We have to make peace with never having closure because the closure is so distorted from the mental illness that it's not actually accurate

[@sickoftheshit]

"No personal accountability", sums it right up for me. I've begun to filter these types of people out of my life. It feels great. Thank you for the wise council.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

I had filtered them out of my life too but unfortunately I gave another variant benefits of doubt. A very good actor it was. I feel humiliated but it's still fresh. I will be more closed up from now on and another lesson to listen to myself / act upon my suspicion bc I saw the signs in early conversations.

[@patriciacook9724]

When they flip it off the very first time, don't ever stand in their light again! They will get worse and worse every time you take them back. NO CONTACT!

[@aguilazombieXD]

So i dont deserve to have friends is what you say??

[@socol76]

@@aguilazombieXDwhy do you say you don’t deserve friends. Do you have the habit of ghosting people ?

[@WhereYoHeadAt17]

@@aguilazombieXDdepends on your definition of friends. Everyone will party with you and that doesn’t make them your friend. When you go through some rough times you will see who sticks around

[@angelakeely5859]

I just feel all these games take energy, your energy, just walk, ignore, block these toxic people.

[@DavidValeTX]

“I just got busy.” I always heard this one.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Or I'm not glued to my phone all day". As if we need to be gloed to send 1 text in 24 hours for example.

[@ayushi6892]

Last this happened to me , I did the same to the person who was ghosting me. I was blocked within one day of mirring their behaviour. I feel bad for doing that but man do I love to see how ppl react to being treated there own way.

[@Eli-ve3ox]

Yes - because that way you take away their control over you. And I think ghosting is a lot about power/hierarchy.

[@gionagrace6279]

I say.....ohhhhh you want to be a 👻 ghost.....have at it.....but remember.......the dead don't come back to life and a ghost can't dial my #......so remember to stay dead and never come back because trust and believe me........they do and they will. You ghost me buddy, GAME OVER!

[@peterrieger4221]

Best thing is to change the number. They will go nuts

[@AV-kr6gc]

@@gionagrace6279Lol yeah you say that until your emotionally invested in someone your highly attracted to

[@5995Jiol]

@@Eli-ve3ox nope not at all

[@NPD2024]

Ghosters can be dismissive avoidant attachment style that haven’t done any work on themselves to repair early childhood trauma and emotional neglect. Their not necessarily ghosting to hurt the other person so much as their emotionally immature and wounded. They don’t know how to respond to the overwhelm closeness creates so they dismiss and avoid.

[@iconstructme]

Thank you, glad someone said it! But still.. what IS the best way to Deal with such a person?

[@ca6248]

Nailed it!!

[@NPD2024]

@@iconstructme learn their patterns, give them space when required, be empathetic and kind. Understand they’re emotionally underdeveloped (which can be developed with awareness). Hope they’re in therapy. Additionally, when they feel slighted, manipulated, under appreciated, or feel too close their will likely be a withdraw of some level. IMO.

[@iconstructme]

@@NPD2024 seems like I'm on the right path then, though I understand that's not going to be easy)) Thanks again for your reply :)

[@rahmasamir909]

Avoid those people they are sucking off your energy

[@booitis]

I feel blessed when I'm ghosted.

[@mori_a.Wolfboi]

Fr, takes away the stress of maintaining a relationship

[@llgrazes]

You and I both we dodged a bullet period this was someone that came into our life that was going to hurt us. Glad you’re gone. In the words of Ariana Grande thank you next.

[@erishposhclub]

He ghosted me & came back, I mirrored his behaviour 😂

[@tea-chip-cookies]

I agree that ghosters are like light switches. If you're not of any benefit to their life for some selfish reason, they decide to to walk past you the next day suddenly as if you don't exist. It can be very hurtful and shocking to receive such behaviour. Majority of the time, there are no happy endings between the two of you. You end up moving on but the emotional pain lives with you for a long time. The awkward part is encountering their weird negative energy from time to time if you bump into one another.

[@notaburneraccount]

I was seeing someone on tinder last year. I grew feelings for them and decided to say that I liked them. They said they liked me back. After a month and a half, they suddenly - *over text* - said they just want to be friends (practically begging me). That I was easy to hang out with. I had no idea they were feeling that way. They said I was perfect on paper but that we didn't have chemistry and that they were too depressed to give me the romantic attention I wanted. Okay, cool. Then later, they said they wanted space. We've only seen each other a few times this year. Then last week, they suddenly said they are getting back together with their ex. That she was really jealous of me just seeing a picture of my friend and I at pride. It was hurtful to me being told that. They also said that they went to see barbie even though we had made plans to see it. They told me after the fact. I felt like they were treating me as an afterthought. They said we could go see Oppenheimer. They texted me again the next day saying she wasn't jealous and that they should not have said that about her and that we should all hang out someday. They asked if I had feelings for them. Not once did they apologize for breaking our plans. I felt foolish because I had spray painted my cane pink and got accessories and a black dress for the occasion. All I was hearing that they wanted her to be happy. Saying that we're friends but only considering her feelings and what they wanted. At that point, I told them I wanted to talk in person because I didn't think that a sensitive conversation like that should happen over text. I also said they have basically been blowing me off for a month and that it felt bad. It seems to be a pattern with them. Instead of being mature and having respect for me, they decided to ghost me. They never had intentions on hanging out again. To me, this is unlike them. Our friendship was fine until she came into the picture. Really, they caused this problem for even texting me to say all that. They could have just made a different plan with me. So far, it sounds like their girlfriend is controlling, possessive, and distrusting of them. They should not have treated me that way. I feel like they didn't like me sticking up for myself. They wanted me to just be fine and go along with what they wanted. After all this, I feel like they used me to fill their emptiness. Basically, a rebound. They had unprocessed emotions from that heartbreak and I got caught in it. They knew how much I liked them then. I spent so much time and energy and resources on them. I put in a lot of effort and they never really reciprocated. It was all pretty much one-sided but I didn't want to believe that that was the case. They didn't try getting closer to me or getting to really know me as a person. The problem wasn't me. It was that I wasn't their ex. Since the time they asked to be friends, I was agonizing whether or not to stay in their life. Now I realize that they are a selfish person. They want things to go their way. As soon as it seems uncomfortable, they just run away. Treat me like I'm disposable now that they see no value in me or a point in staying friends. None of this had to happen because we were fine before. I can't believe they didn't even have the decency to just say maybe we shouldn't be friends. It's hard because they live within a mile of me. We've bumped into each other at a couple stores before. If we ever bump into each other again, I'd want them to hear me out. But I'd probably just walk past them. Being treated like you're nothing feels awful. I'm a pretty damn great person. I deserve better and I'm worthy of someone who actually cares.

[@northsideyanks]

Ghosting is Abuse.

[@808nuna_ishere]

I have been ghosted twice my whole life. I believe a baby angel gets a wing every time.

[@YourCrystalDealer]

We should also talk about needy people always going after people who ghost you. There’s a toxic cycle to ghosted and people being ghosted. People love to chase what they can’t have instead of finding emotionally available people. If you see the signs go somewhere else? Why do you constantly love someone who will never love you? There has to be accountability on both ends here. You can’t force someone to love you.

[@CrystalMouse1]

Yes! He talks about what he does to keep 'contained' (keep one's dignity and boundaries)

[@sunshineshower809]

@YourCrystalDealer I think what's really happening is the same principle of the no contact rule. It psychologically creates desperation in most people.

[@deborahblessed8541]

Yep well said 😅

[@merlin32160]

"Ghosting " could be just because that person is also very depressed and feel so ashamed of their inactivity that they do not want to engage with others because they value their actions more than their words and have done nothing to show their value and the cycle continues. I ghost often not because i want to but because of being unwell.and i wish someone could help me to get out of this cycle

[@eve3363]

No excuses

[@lionelgrisbane-ud87]

You ghost because you’re too wrapped up in yourself to have empathy for others. Being depressed is not an excuse to treat other people like dirt. You have choices in life. Being depressed doesn’t give you an excuse to be a jerk. There are hundreds of thousands of depressed people in the world. Only the ones with empathy deficits ghost. If you want to get out of the cycle, stop focusing on yourself so much and start putting yourself in other people’s shoes

[@purfektliflawed]

I can understand that but maybe instead of disappearing randomly (ghost) why not just say "I'm not able to continue this conversation. " Or... I'm not able to talk right now. Please understand.

[@Victoriousandbrave]

I don’t think that’s the ghost this person is speaking of.

[@alanzastuff6826]

Then u already hurt someone who loved you, so selfish then😅

[@daughteroftheking6402]

It’s because they are a bunch of pansies. I’m so tired of people making excuses for these people.. when I was this way, that enabled me to stay in the victim mindset. It’s time to Grow up, and learn healthy coping skills. Learn to heal and fix your crap and stop bleeding on people who didn’t hurt you. That’s toxic regardless of your justification. Everyone has been hurt, everyone didn’t grow up so great, but we have a choice to continue down that path or not. Anymore after that, you have no one to blame but yourself. We are not 5 anymore. We know right from wrong. Time to grow up! Time to get help, and stop making excuses and do something about your character defaults. Yes, it stems from being a child, but after a certain age you’re old enough to decide if you want to fix it and change or not, and if you don’t. That’s on you, no one else. Change is hard, but so is being stuck in a place you have no business being in. After I turned a certain age, I couldn’t blame my past trauma on anything, I had to accept it happened, and move on and heal. There’s no excuses!

[@cobrazoid]

Me too man, I am tired of people making excuses for ghosters, especially with "disorder". I personally don't take ghosting too kindly whether they have a "disorder" or not since it is by far the most selfish and childish thing to do, playing with someone's emotions, manipulating and deceiving. Once you ghost someone, the damage has been done, and ghosting will also lower the trust and reputation. And as you said, no excuses.

[@CeciledeLuire]

Thank you !! You so nailed it...!!!!

[@AmericanRX]

Recently got ghosted by a person I care a lot for and still do....mid conversation too.......hardest time I had in quite some time. Makes sense if you put it that way.

[@5995Jiol]

It’s an avoidant attachment style. I have it. I don’t do it with malicious intent but.. it does come across that way. It stems from facing so much rejection as a child that you develop this as a way to cope and protect yourself from potentially feeling the pain of being rejected, AGAIN.

[@eve3363]

Doesn't matter

[@redclarinetist2913]

So reject the person who's attached to you instead and make them feel that way. Hope you learn to cope better. I'm going through this right now and all I'm seeing is you don't care about the other person.

[@lionelgrisbane-ud87]

Avoidant attachment style = an excuse for being a coward. Just like anxious attachment style = an excuse for being a jerk. It’s called lack of empathy, and there’s no excuse for it.

[@HTHTNT77]

Then it’s time to invest in therapy and change your ways instead of offloading your issues on to others and causing them pain due to your own pain. That’s taking accountability and responsibility for yourself. We can’t change what’s happened to us but we can change how we respond to and deal with it.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

We all have rejection pain but we still open up.and what's scary about sending a small simple text?

[@jarred110]

This guy just perfectly described me holy shit

[@alimccreery755]

I’ve been dealing with a so called friend who’s been doing exactly that. Thank you for clarifying and validating the fact that when this person ghosts me that’s exactly what she’s doing and I’ve just about had enough. So I’ve stopped contacting her all together 😊

[@dhanrajmohan701]

Real run .narc

[@alimccreery755]

@@dhanrajmohan701 I’m on my way out so I don’t need to run. This guy has no legal right to prevent me from moving out. It would take a real shit head to be conniving to make sure the target can’t leave. My brother and my provider are being very supportive of moving where I can feel safe.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Good for you. I had a 'friend-' like that too last autumn. She said ' we are soulmates' so I was alert after that and soon my rext woud be ignored. She told me she had nobody to talk to. I said you can call me if you need to talk. She called but started a conversation with her roommate leaving me hanging on the phone so I hung up. Later when I had a heartbreak I texted her. No reply. Two days later I tojd her: if you want to stop connecting let me know. She replied: I don't know what to say, I have other priorities now". Wow. Very arrogant as if I was acting abnormal. Should have blocked her right there. The problem is not that she didn't have tlme to talk or motivation. Tte problem is that she was rude and just let me feel like a fool. A text was to much to say " talk soon can't talk atm" for example. They don't add anything. Only in the 1st few days we are their new toy for entertainment.

[@alimccreery755]

You just described one of my last female friends, so on point. I ended up moving out of State and she was one that I ended up. I’m not sorry 👍

[@krisq3616]

The best way to deal with a narcissist, once you have them figured out, is to ghost them! Ghost them, break the trauma bond and keep them out of your life for good!! The worst pain and the worst days of my life were spent with a narcissist.

[@Floridabred]

You're most likely the narcissist l,most women are.

[@northsideyanks]

Aren't Ghosters usually Narcissist?

[@nikk5002]

@@northsideyanks no. In fact, narcissists are more likely to want to stay in people’s lives to feed off of them.

[@funkmonster]

That's childish to deal with any problem that way. Breaking contact is one thing, but you should always let someone know you're breaking contact and the reasons why.

[@krisq3616]

@@funkmonsterWhy does someone who has abused you deserve all that? You can do that, but they will talk you into staying and then continue the cycle of idealization and devaluation. Narcissistic abuse is very painful and very hard to leave. A person suffering from narcissistic abuse should really get out of it. I was very specific to narcissistic abuse in my comment; "grey-rocking" and ghosting are the norm!! Psychologists call ghosting a narcissist going "no contact" and it is highly recommended.

[@ackeemclarke]

What If the person is tired of being used and they decide to ghost the other person? Some people deserve ghosting.

[@whatistruth1155]

Yep! Don’t listen to these people.

[@fulltimeonfire8536]

This right here. Sometimes it takes time to digest what's been said in a conversation and when you realise you're just being used it's better to just immediately cut them off for your own sanity.

[@VirjScarlett]

True, how about being lied to multiple times and still forgive them? But it's obvious the person you're talking to is lying again.

[@ackeemclarke]

Countless times I've stepped back and the girl begged me to stay and I give her another chance only for her to do me the same wrong things. Block and delete is the only option and if I see you in person I am walking pass you like I don't know you.

[@ZetaCancri]

Ghosting toxic/abusive people is fine in my opinion. The issue comes when it's a do called friend or family member or maybe someone you've dated for enough of a while

[@weirdo.spidey]

How true is this 👾...

[@allmine853]

This happened to me. When I realised it and stopped participating he didnt like it much

[@JS-lm3lq]

My sister comes to mind, thanks

[@marywilliams9998]

My 4 sisters ghost me but their loss

[@Astrologcomedy]

Ghosters do everyone a huge favor - good riddance

[@loganross4774]

I really like this analogy!! It brings me more Awareness even to how I probably sometimes have behaved in this manner too. And I had previously only thought of the ghoster’s role. Now I can see where I can’t be too upset when sometimes I didn’t mind when the other person, ‘disappeared’ But I always want him to come back!

[@annajula2318]

I've asked once (politely) if this person wanted anything from me when they got back after a long time - and they went completely silent ❤ lucky me 🤣

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Love it 😊

[@kimhumiston2686]

A so called "friend " can text all day everyday, but somehow doesn't text when going out of town. If I happen to text, and get no reply, its assumed they are gambling. They can't reply to text and say gone for the day, but once they get home it's like they want your full attention with repeated texts.

[@Amanda-mg9ce]

I ghosted my ex because I just couldn't take the fighting anymore. He never took responsibility and got caught cheating. He stopped talking to me holding my hand dates were horrible he'd make me cry and every day where therewas a big event he'd ruin especially my bday. I just can't take it anymore.

[@ths1987]

So funny that you talk about light switch.. because the guy I just dated and just ghosted me last week .. he asked me which light switch colour he should pick for his new place 🤣

[@chicobrutalguitar]

It's always justifiable to ghost a toxic person. I've been with my girlfriend for two years, and have never in my life experienced such constant chaos and craziness. I saw her for the last time a few hours ago, and when she gets home from work, I won't be here. I've had enough!

[@BlueBlue23]

You should have explained that to her ..you are a coward

[@repentjesusiscomingsoon1529]

@@BlueBlue23 If she was abusive/toxic to him, then she deserves it.

[@rosepetals8181]

Light switchers,button pushers... IT'S ALL ENERGY✨💜✨

[@elizabethfindlay5752]

They don't even see it and they would deny it

[@leticiamilo4387]

Thanks!!❤⚘ That's it!! Let them behind...😊

[@sowyzsewing3993]

Thank you, Mr Kenny! You are so helpful.

[@robfreyer]

One of the clearest explanations

[@lindasonntag4098]

Dismissive-avoidant for sure! I just experienced this in a relationship- very hurtful!!

[@dhanrajmohan701]

Public comment. This is so real. Sad doesn't care about other people's feelings and emotions. God is watching he has the final answer. Amen.

[@mmelodym826]

Some people really do get busy. I had to take care of my mother, who had dementia - plus, I had to keep working to put my years in for a pension. I barely had a second to myself. No one came offering to help me and some people shut me out of their lives because I didn’t have time to visit or go places with them. Walk in another’s shoes before judging someone else’s behavior.

[@wquinonez1477]

Sometimes people feel entitled to your time and are demanding with no cause. If they can’t respect boundaries, then sometimes no response is a response.

[@wquinonez1477]

@Zachremix not respecting boundaries and demanding your time and attention without your permission is not a respectful relationship anyways. So where is the loss?

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

This is about another context. It's often the ghoster who claims your time and after you are drained they leave you empty . It's reversed. They have no balance. All over enthusiastic to silence. When it's convenient to them. If you meet one you will understand.

[@wquinonez1477]

@@peaceofmindofpeace1650I have. That’s a user, manipulator, or narcissist.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

​@@wquinonez1477 Oké yes manipulators, same unfortunately.

[@barbaralulling9067]

My EX ALWAYS did this.... Especially when I didn't give in to his demands.... Told me I was rebellious

[@ayaneesarkar8538]

Same here 😂 toxic people.

[@Jules-740]

What? He ghosted you? But then you were able to get back into contact them again and they ghosted you again?

[@_ayeitsjenn]

Well in my situation I just deleted social media out of no where, you know people get in relationships and all that. I had lots of friends. Almost 4 years without it haven’t been in touch with anyone tbh , sad. Cant believe it took me this long to realizes how immature it was . I regret it. Does anyone else think I’m wrong for that?

[@heyu123]

Maybe they just don’t want to deal with confrontation 😅

[@yoyito2020]

childish.

[@darkseaofempathy]

Confrontation is part of life. If you can't handle it, don't form relationships.

[@notaburneraccount]

Yes, exactly! That's so immature. I'm sure they don't like it when they are treated that way.

[@delfinaquintero1789]

Interesting g so they can allow to be used and lied to but don’t want to deal with confrontation ….😮

[@Dee-uy3tx]

Exactly 100% confrontation like call I u weirdo and rude. But they can be rude with you

[@EoinTremont]

Interesting! What’s the psychology of them ghosting but still participating in viewing your stories on social media for example?

[@percygirl101]

Ooof see this is why ghosting is a major red flag to me. No matter who I have around me saying “hE jUsT gOt buSy” like yes he can stay busy then don’t come back 😂

[@harounben342]

I do ghost all the time, because i have figured out that as a codependent that my surrounding is 99% if not 100% toxic, Today i went out and they could find me easily and i talked to few people and I felt after so drained that i couldn't accomplish a thing.

[@TES-yl4wj]

I have no respect whatsoever for people who do immature acts such as ghosting in relationships. Ghosting is selfish, disrespectful and childish. No time for that BS.

[@crh251]

I agree. A family friend has ghosted me. I know I’ve done nothing wrong. I just wasn’t that important to her. I’ve lost respect.

[@jeanbutler6585]

Sometimes we've talked so much and weren't heard or they didn't care to listen so what other choice do we have? To beg them to listen, I pretty much did that. Then you realize they just don't care so why stick around?

[@AliceLytle]

This was so spot on! I love word pictures and this “light switch “ word picture is a great eye opener! Thank you!

[@kennyweiss]

Glad it was helpful!

[@jacquelinecruz4187]

I didn't see you,on and off when they are ready to switch on or switch off painful, lonely it trigger abandment issues

[@mickeysandoval9244]

I met a ghoster at work who would love bomb me monday -friday afternoon and ghost me friday evening to sunday and repeat the cycle. He tried to condition me to be his work wife and i can tell his was spreading himself thin. I wised up to his games and ended it

[@johnsonfamily3863]

I think there are two sides to this, those that use it to emotionally abuse others or then there's the other side is just needing a time out, a quiet break and quite often this happens post abusive relationships, you have experienced so much trauma and betrayal that your not sure who to trust due to extra traumatisation from those that just don't get it. There's an expectation that we are all robots and should not have emotions and just need to get on with it. Quiet time is a necessity post these relationships, time to process, heal, deal with court cases, raise children, time to re-evaluate what you want etc.

[@harounben342]

As i went i found myself surounded by toxic people that they drain the shit out of me. They always try to guilt trip me and shame me to lure me back

[@johnsonfamily3863]

@@harounben342 yes that happens it's the cycle that needs to break so you will not fall for the tricks.

[@lionelgrisbane-ud87]

How does needing a break relate to ghosting? Ghosting is when you never respond. If you need a break, tell the person you need a break. Not that hard…

[@johnsonfamily3863]

@@lionelgrisbane-ud87 because some ppl who are perceived to be ghosting who go quiet for awhile are not, they are taking time for themselves, others use ghosting as part of the control to see if you wait if you reconnect with them it's a testing phase and there's those that ghost without explanation.

[@lionelgrisbane-ud87]

@@johnsonfamily3863 …..yes….that’s why I said just tell the person you need a break or that you can’t talk to them anymore. What is so difficult about that?

[@selectivelychosen2020]

When them tables always turn & Now I’m Ms. Georgia Power! 😂 Lights Out

[@happyhealthyblessed]

💯 I’ve experienced this for over 50 years

[@minakshi7155]

Ur smile is great.

[@MLove-777]

So true...🙏

[@jacquelinecruz4187]

Very good explanation any one can understand the light switch on and off now you see me now you don't I get it😔

[@dwlsn93]

Except when you ghost a nasty abusive narcissist - then ghosting is the remedy for the abuse.

[@Floridabred]

It's actually not, what's funny is most narcissistic mothers still get to be a mother and spend time with their children. They say go no contact with a narcissist UNTIL it's a mother,that's funny. That's why the single mother movement is so huge,yall have bought into the all men are bad mentality,yet when women are toxic its still hope she can change but men no men don't change. Funny right maybe find God and heal because God doesn't tell us to hold unforgiveness in our hearts,imagine holding a grudge for years against a man who isn't that man anymore. I swear women lack empathy unless it is for themselves,most of you use to be promiscuous,addicts drug and alcohol and mean girls maybe even cheaters. One can say you were narcissistic but you grew right? Ok well I guarantee if women learned to have empathy for men,the world would become a better place.

[@TheLegion78]

I’m a mess and I can’t find the right thing. No Contact? Ghosting? I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to hurt someone. I dated someone I had to let go off because I would pour my heart out and then she would tell me I was the one who disappeared. I don’t remember dating being this difficult and so hard. It’s like games never ended and now even I am playing them. ,

[@j6453]

A new thing I have noticed, only since the pandemic, is people who are new friends, or invite you out as friends, suddenly and inexplicably ghosting. I have had lots of friends throughout my life, I have decent social skills, and I even have a Master's Degree. I am pretty sure it's not me as this was not something I ever experience previously! What is up with that?

[@bree78rsx]

I just completely shut down & can't force myself to people sometimes. Not wanting to burden others with my depression & despair. Like a sick wounded animal. I need a dark place alone, to get myself together... Then can reamurge when I have some happy positive energy & support to give.

[@gracehill7204]

Just got ghosted for the First Time. His excuse I’m hiking will get to You in a Bit. 😂 Must be some Hike 24 hrs later😂

[@starhamilton1072]

That "oh oh oh " was my laugh for the day lmao

[@shelbypadilla2367]

😂

[@BeaconLight333]

Great. Every fucking thing I do seems wrong. It's overwhelming

[@kushpatel5573]

Nah this shit is bs, it’s perfectly valid to take time off or have some time to think when ur exhausted for any multitude of reason. This ‘psychologist’ or whoever creates an analogy and coins a term to make their point seem more ‘correct’

[@kushpatel5573]

Also generalising a whole group of people, while mentioning no account of personal accountability makes me seriously question his validity as a psych. He also makes it seem like it’s a toxic trait by making it seem like these ‘light switchers’ are people who do ‘flip the switch’ without explaining any context, what can be toxic however is making excuses about everything, however obviously not always, again based on context. (Also explaining something in a very simple way ‘simulates’ how a psych speaks because it’s easy to hear, so it’s easy to coerce someone which is arguably more toxic)

[@kushpatel5573]

He doesn’t understand shit, kinda like my friend who had never had any depression or long time sadness or whatever and as a result never understood why people experienced depression, to him he couldn’t comprehend it

[@poriccrompton]

@@kushpatel5573 bro what he said nothing wrong? Generalising? He didn’t generalise he stated the definition of a word the proceeded to explain why people like this exist.

[@damiannichols1250]

You're awesome stay strong

[@valichkanyc]

I called the ghoster out and blocked him. I then changed my number and blocked him in FB. My reaction was fast and strong. Dione.

[@swatikadam5072]

Good advice... thank you. Sir

[@kennyweiss]

Always welcome

[@marypaclibar5326]

Thank you❤

[@kennyweiss]

You're welcome 😊

[@mellowfellow845]

Keep your head up kings, you’ll find the one someday

[@mellowfellow845]

And queens, I know ghosting isn’t just a one way street

[@Mperez735]

So true

[@dannydynan3561]

an effective logical weapon 😎

[@thesnowflakespodcast]

You perfectly described me. This is me. I hope God forgives me

[@ninaherge6991]

@AliSand 🤣

[@CeciledeLuire]

stop involving God in you bs man. do the work and stop the bs. Get well soon.

[@omartrachen6794]

I become the ghoster sometimes when im very hurt !!!

[@MrKelso85]

So true! My concern is the ones who are on the surface “nice ladies” date you for a month ask you to move in saying they’re falling in love then 20 hours later blocked don’t contact me again😂😂🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

[@maryw4609]

Thanks very helpful

[@kennyweiss]

Glad to hear that!

[@moonpie-eg7uu]

Sometimes I ghosted others b/c some people are just too toxic for me.

[@gotcha9983]

I cope this way. But I don't ghost

[@ceceliadavis471]

My experience has been that they only bother with you when it's convenient for them. The rest of the time they ghost you. You are never a priority. . I actually got a specific day and time that I was restricted to calling him. He did that so he could keep his women straight. I guess he finally ghosted me permanently. It's been a couple years now since I heard from him. Never even met him in person. This was all online.

[@bartwfielder]

I've ghosted and it is legit that I was way too busy. Now I have a lot if free time but nobody to ghost

[@CeciledeLuire]

lol, congrats

[@Notbothered1]

Your very handsome 😍 and thank you getting ghosted is a good thing. They didnt have the ability to confront you or the situation and that's there issue.

[@SamsungGalaxy-dc5mq]

How do you know if you were ghosted, or, if you're actually an narc abuser and the partner actually left you and went no contact ?

[@mollylarkins7075]

This could be mistaken for no contact

[@denniscanan]

They sent me this on Instagram and then wrote “This is why I don’t want you in my life anymore” Big yikes. 💀

[@YT_GrantGotYou]

Maybe people in charge should learn some respect. We work for the company. We don't personally work for toxic pos. So for what reason do suits act like they own our souls? Without us there would be no company. Without us the higher ups can't get that new boat out that brand new truck or big house. When people stop getting treated like property in the workplace then the ghosting will stop. Mutual respect is a thing. But In the workplace it's one sided.

[@gamermixy.t3664]

Hard reality must be accepted

[@zeethree7395]

How about I ghost someone because I got tired of their bullshit ?

[@ArgentoFan]

My brother does this to get his own way. He's in his 50s, it's about to be he grew up. He's done this to me twice because he doesn't like it when you call him on his BS toxic behavior. If he ever tries it again he's out of my life.

[@DidiyogasalsastudioTM]

so true

[@kaboom4986]

I flipped my own switch..revenge

[@Corina-dq2my]

I ghost ppl on accident. I have problems with getting back to ppl. I don't mean to. I will text, then not get a response for a while and move on, and then like a a week or next day or whatever, I'll see that they texted me way later and I didn't get my notifications or hear it or something, maybe because I was working, etc. I am really bad about it too.

[@jle92708]

However if you want to move out of the circle ⭕️ where you’re the average of the 5 going nowhere. Then ghosting is a must

[@csstardew]

true

[@darkriolu7921]

I was talking to this guy a while back and everyday he used to text me and at least try to make a effort to talk to me well one night we were hanging out and I stayed the night at his house mind you we talked for a year and we were good friends in highschool and when I thought things were getting serious he randomly stopped texting me wouldn’t return my calls the pain, frustration, confusion and self doubt I had was unreal I got so depressed after that I started using drugs and I didn’t date for a long time it was so messed up because I found out from one of his friends he wanted nothing to do with me I guess I was only used for hisvown benefit I really cared about this guy but for the longest time I turned cold hearted. Ghosting hurts and when you deal with abandonment issues it’s worse

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

That's so cruel of him. Even apart from attraction, they don't seem to attach to others attachment is human. Healthy attachment. Even if it's not romantic for them especially after being that close it's so strange how they just cut off feelings.

[@RaraAviss]

It’s the other way around for me. I recharge by being alone. I see that my friends wrote to me and I so don’t want to talk to them, especially boyfriends when I’m sad. I guess it would force me to be vulnerable and I can’t do that. When I feel good, have some positive energy to give then I come back. I feel bad about ghosting people but I just can’t help myself

[@CeciledeLuire]

"it would force me to be vulnerable and I can’t do that" You can. You have a mouth to speak and fingers to write. Don't be such an egotistic a***ole.

[@doingitonthefly]

Maybe they just tired of people bullshit.

[@jesterstears7578]

Indeed Light switch My boyfriend

[@curtishomer1418]

Shoot ,I got work everyday and I act one way.She all ways call me when her bills are cut off or need gas or food than disappears 3 to 8 weeks and then reappears like everything is ok..Fu### that crap.I glad I slowly leaving this girl

[@AngelaGrant-uf9go]

What if they genuinely were busy or something

[@reneegriffin5170]

Ouch..ouch ...ouch...oh gd...no..no...no..

[@fructosecornsyrup5759]

Well, I genuinely don't agree that all ghosters do this. Some people are just genuinely afraid of talking to others. Some, like me, genuinely have memory problems. I can be texting someone and completely forget about what was going on and before I know it it's been a week. It's not done maliciously, and it isn't done because I'm seeking attention, I'm just trying to remember several million things at one point and if I don't regularly text that person then unfortunately they can fall by the wayside for a bit because I just... forget.

[@TheRealRehman]

Basically being a grown up facing your problems is difficult but ghosting is easy.