The Real Reason You Never Follow Through (And How to Fix It)

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HealthyGamerGG

HealthyGamerGG

Күн бұрын

Join us today for a discussion on mastering the art of follow-through. In this video, we'll explore effective strategies and insights aimed at improving consistency and commitment to our goals, regardless of our current level of discipline.
Check out Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: bit.ly/424UAql
Not sure which module to start on? Take our quiz: bit.ly/47dGzKj
Follow-through, often associated with discipline, is a skill that can be cultivated and honed by anyone. Our conversation aims to debunk the misconception that only naturally disciplined individuals succeed in staying committed to their objectives.
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▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Introduction
01:04 - A War with your Mind
02:59 - The mind is Very Curious
04:43 - Urge Surfing
06:17 - Notice your Desires
09:19 - "My urges are too powerful"
09:58 - Don't start with the Biggest Craving
10:38 - Conclusion
────────────
DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provide medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved one are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
#healthygamergg #lifeadvice #willpower

Пікірлер: 1 400
@Afrowhizkid
@Afrowhizkid Жыл бұрын
I actually did something like this when I was in college, and my grades were the best they had ever been. I would basically "procrastinate fun" and tell myself that I would "check my phone/play Dota/watch Netflix" later. Because I already was super good at procrastinating schoolwork, when I aimed those skills towards dopaminergic activities I would stay on task waaay longer
@meltygear5955
@meltygear5955 Жыл бұрын
That's how I stopped smoking. I'd tell myself "I'll smoke tomorrow, let's just be clean for today" and I did it over and over again. I'm a no-smoker for 11 years.
@Enkiaswad
@Enkiaswad Жыл бұрын
It's really interesting because that's totally what I did with video games during my years studying engineering. I later had a hard time getting back into playing games and enjoying them, because I have conditionned myself so much. It's a bit sad sometimes, but maybe now I can understand the why 🤔
@Anomaly24k
@Anomaly24k Жыл бұрын
I literally noticed when I vape/smoke it deceases my willpower
@pixelpuppy
@pixelpuppy Жыл бұрын
Procrastinating fun is a perfect description and feels like a much more relatable and easier to understand explanation to what Dr K is getting at! Thank you! Feels easier to say "I'll do that later" than to fight the urges with "NO, we're not doing that NOW.". I'll bet that's how workaholics mentality works. They see having fun as something to be guilty of, so they put it off.
@classyjohn1923
@classyjohn1923 Жыл бұрын
thats so unfair…i wish i could do this. If i did this in college, a lot of my mistakes probably wouldn’t have happened and i could’ve lived a different life…fk me
@RoelBaardman
@RoelBaardman Жыл бұрын
The most soothing thing that I realized during urge surfing, was notice that the more intense the urge is, the sooner is passes. It's as if the mind exhausts itself.
@marxist-leninist-protagonist
@marxist-leninist-protagonist Жыл бұрын
Huh. Yeah. I came to the realization that eventually I will get tired from being sad. If you're a weeb too, I visualize it as Mirio's ability from BNHA: if he phases through the ground and deactivates his ability, he will be rocketed back to the surface, like a glitch. It genuinely feels like that sometimes; you're sad and then one night of sleep and your mind is back to normal.
@calamitouscheese8031
@calamitouscheese8031 Жыл бұрын
🙏
@avaceleste
@avaceleste Жыл бұрын
Amazing realization.
@Zaferino1
@Zaferino1 Жыл бұрын
Wow 😮
@Rosemary33399
@Rosemary33399 7 ай бұрын
Ooooo I like that
@skiptomylou011
@skiptomylou011 Жыл бұрын
I indirectly learned this "urge surfing" while meditating. I have gotten decent at it--been meditating for about two years now consistently. I normally look forward to it, except my sits are 15-20 or 25 minutes at most. One day I decided to try an hour just to see what would happen. Well, I would put it off. I'd procrastinate and wouldn't do it. After a few tries I finally decided to sit through it and do it. It was excruciating for a while. My mind was so adamant in wanting to convince me that I needed to quit. "my leg is cramping, so I should stop" "I didn't set an alarm, I might sit longer-I should stop" "I might fall asleep and this will be a waste" You get the idea. Then something unexpected happened. My mind shut off. All those thoughts began to fade away. It was as if I was able to see my thoughts outside of myself for the first time. I had experienced that fleetingly while meditating through the time, but this time it was like I saw the Matrix. I now do one hour sits once a week, and my mind still tries to talk me out of it. The difference is that I don't give in to what my mind says. So if I want to read a book, my mind has to follow suit because I won't listen to it. That has helped me pick up reading again after nearly a decade of not reading books. I've been journaling every single day-same thing, I'd always try to do it and I'd wind up browsing reddit, twitter, YT-whatever that would get my mind off it. TL;DR urge surfing works. Try it out.
@galaxylucia1898
@galaxylucia1898 Жыл бұрын
That’s awesome.
@Jasmine-ll8qu
@Jasmine-ll8qu Жыл бұрын
That really is awesome, I gotta try it too! Do you think trying a 1-hour session is a good idea for someone who only does about ~10min a day rn, and since maybe 2 months? Also - how do you do your meditations? I’ve only recently started and am curious about your method since you’ve been at it a while now! ❤
@skiptomylou011
@skiptomylou011 Жыл бұрын
@@Jasmine-ll8qu it's worth a shot. Just don't beat yourself over it if it proves to be too much. I'd say to scale up to about 30 mins and go from there, but if you're curious I say go for it. 2 months meditating consistently is great. It's the most difficult part, at least for me it was. So if you've kept it up you're well on your way. I don't consider myself an expert by any means, but my meditations are fairly standard I'd say. I put a mat on the floor and sit 20-30 mins in the morning and focus on my breath or my heartbeat. I mostly observe any thoughts without trying engage it, so I don't get distracted by nor annoyed (like I did initially) by them. Eventually my mind naturally goes into no mind and I do deep breaths and enjoy that state of nothingness for however long it lasts. Some days my mind is agitated but I've learned to let it go nuts if needed. Every day is different, so don't get too hung up on it. Try to find any type of enjoyment is my biggest suggestion honestly.
@zacharyedwards6428
@zacharyedwards6428 Жыл бұрын
This was a great explanation. Thanks
@LeKhang98
@LeKhang98 Жыл бұрын
​@@Jasmine-ll8qu I used to tell people that I couldn't sit still for 5 minutes, but one day I decided to try meditating for... 3 minutes, and I succeeded lol. Then, for every 5 successful attempts, I increased my meditation time by 1-2 minutes. Now, after several months, I can meditate for 45 minutes normally. Instead of beating myself up for failing to sit for 30-40 minutes, I rejoice in the fact that I can sit longer each week, even if it is just 1 minute, which gives me more motivation. I think we should try urge surfing (or any new technbique) out in the easiest activity where our success rate is almost 100%, and keep adding a very little bit every day.
@zaldare
@zaldare Жыл бұрын
Great reminder to all of us that we don't HAVE TO be slaves to our urges. I'm speaking as someone who has ADHD and my concentration was in rock bottom. Whenever a new thought or craving would rise up I would delve right into it without trying to steer my concentration and maintain my focus on what I was doing at the time. This became extremely evident whenever I would work or try to study. Mind you that I became aware of this disorder in young adulthood so my entire schoollife was constantly filled of me trying actively to do other things I tricked myself to enjoy. Escapism to the fullest. Video games, porn, ignoring exercise, eating constantly even though I wasn't actually hungry. Just a massive mess which constantly got in the way of me getting dedicated in any area. Wherever the wind blew that day was where I was going. But as you said, try becoming aware of the moments when your mind is trying to escape from it's task and instead set down the foot saying "No, I'm gonna follow through!" has helped me immensely and it's been the difference between sticking to the task or essentialy failing - doing 10 other things before returning (if you ever do so) to what you should be doing.
@Indi_Waffle_Girl
@Indi_Waffle_Girl 10 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing this! I get stuck in random cleaning loops around my house. Feeling that urge, that itch, as soon as I saw something to do. All of it is important/good, so I use that as an argument for doing it, even if I want to be prioritizing something else.
@snow34545
@snow34545 8 ай бұрын
Thank you both for sharing your stories! I have problems staying focused on school work and work in general too. I would start cleaning the house starting from that extra cup on my desk when I'm studying. So for, going to libraries as a first step has helped. I would just look at my laptop when I have the urge to do something else.
@IntimateMuffin
@IntimateMuffin Ай бұрын
I watched this video and was confused what urge surfing really was because it just sounds like "wait it out", so I went to go read the comments. And when I was reading your comment, my brain was like "I have no clue what this person is talking about", and I noticed myself wanting to open up Discord to check any unread messages. But right as my cursor was over the Discord app, I was like "WAIT A MINUTE I CAUGHT YOU BRAIN", and so I paused and took a breath, and finished reading your comment.
@TMichelle555
@TMichelle555 Жыл бұрын
"No cravings last forever" what a relief. I'm trying to quit drinking and i keep relapsing once a month, I'm really struggling to get to 3 months consecutively. I can go a month easy but then the cravings kick in something fierce. I try to spend all my money so I don't have any but seems like i always find my way to alcohol. Thank you Dr K. That sentence gives me hope
@michaelakc
@michaelakc Жыл бұрын
It's true. I was a full time alcoholic. The further you are away from the habitual drinking / the more time you spend having mostly good days, the craving stops feeling as strong. It stops feeling like your normal the less it is your normal; and you will physically feel a difference.
@michaelakc
@michaelakc Жыл бұрын
Good luck stranger. You can do this for yourself. It's worth the effort; and it sounds like you've been putting that effort in. Give yourself credit for the good days, and try to focus only on bouncing back up after any bad day
@pixelpuppy
@pixelpuppy Жыл бұрын
distract your craving brain with something else! work, family, gym, look for other sources for that dopamine hit!! You can do it!!! Every time you reach your goal, move that goal up - just ONE MORE consecutive month! YOU GOT THIS BRO!!
@TMichelle555
@TMichelle555 Жыл бұрын
@@michaelakc thank you for the kind words, hoping to get it right this time around
@FuzzyAnkles
@FuzzyAnkles Жыл бұрын
ive been there. one thing that helps is to change environment. for first month to live in some village or away fromeasy access stores or bars.
@impishfou6953
@impishfou6953 Жыл бұрын
I literally stopped meditating, journaling and started smoking again like yesterday. Felt guilty i couldnt be consistent Thank you for this Dr.K.
@Ran_Do
@Ran_Do Жыл бұрын
I believe in u, u can do it. Just build consistency for journalism (it's the right word, shut up), while letting the consistency of smoking drop as if the habit of smoking was the habit of cleaning the fridge. Eventually you'll do it rarely or not at all, as it should be.
@trulydumb506
@trulydumb506 Жыл бұрын
I read this as someone with a cigarette in hand, in a very similar predicament.
@freshpressedify
@freshpressedify Жыл бұрын
Did you start smoking again, or did you smoke?
@Hemlocker
@Hemlocker Жыл бұрын
@@freshpressedify Great comment
@alfredhitchcock45
@alfredhitchcock45 Жыл бұрын
Me too and my body strikes bacj
@imSovi
@imSovi Жыл бұрын
I indirectly discovered this when I was 17 (I am 21 now) when I was decided to quit nicotine and stop vaping. It occurred to me that if I would simply sit through the impulse of needing that hit, no matter how strong it came on, it would eventually pass. You’ve put what I organically figured out into words - the brain gets tired of itself. Side note: I’ve been free of nicotine since then. I vaped heavily every day for a year and a half straight, and it took me around 2 weeks to see a decrease in my urges. For my fellas and ladies struggling with addiction to whatever it may be, you’re going to be alright. Take that first step, try to put this into practice. Key word is *TRY*. If you don’t start, you will go nowhere.
@Staskasas
@Staskasas 8 ай бұрын
I used a similar method to quit smoking. But i used a cheat code too, completely by accident too lol. I think it was day 2 of not smoking, and i had this super strong urge to smoke. So in my mind i said fuck it, fine, I'll smoke one but later because i was busy doing something at that time. I said to myself when I'll finish this task in 15 mins I'll have a smoke. As soon as i allowed myself to smoke, the craving disappeared. Then i just didint smoke when i said that i would because i didint even want to. I would repeat this process (with diminishing effect mind you) and it worked
@MythiKira
@MythiKira Жыл бұрын
Might just be doc's biggest banger of a video yet. I absolutely love the fact that you use the viewers attention and thought process to guide them into realizing that they're doing exactly what they set out to do in the first place. Ggwp
@Voltaic314
@Voltaic314 Жыл бұрын
One thing I always tell people about being disciplined as well is that you don't have to become some gigachad overnight. Like when it comes to losing weight & going to the gym... you don't have to completely change your entire diet and start spending 3 hours at the gym every day power lifting with a personal trainer just to lose weight. Just go for 10 minutes and walk on a treadmill and leave, lift some easy weights for a while. Maybe go just to socialize with your friend. Have a good conversation with your buddy while you're doing curls... the point is... you don't have to become a gigachad overnight. If there is one thing I've learned over the course of my life... It's that small but consistent progress gives wayyyyyyyy better gains over a long period of time compared to short sporadic but high gains for very short periods of time. Short and sporadic gains are more likely going to lead to burn out. Discipline & consistency will lead to much better gains as time goes on. :)
@FlyingMonkies325
@FlyingMonkies325 Жыл бұрын
Totally! like you have to give your mind and body time to adjust and adapt too, we're very adaptive but people have to give it time rather than making themselves hurt after one workout, or learning something beguin from the start of it working your way up as it gets harder as you build your knowledge on that concept and then you adjust to the harder and harder levels like in a game how it starts off easy and then progressively gets harder throughout. And with any subject it does that too it's easy at noob level but then gets progressively more complex involving more stuff. I think the biggest barrier of people these days is a lack of patience and not thinking that maybe their school making them constantly jump way ahead when there's all this other stuff before it they have to learn is dumb and unrealistic lol, but they don't get that as a kid or a teenager so they seriously think this is how they should learn, so when they go to learn something they're too impatient to get it done and want to constantly jump ahead. Getting them to focus on how they should do things is tremendously hard until maybe they finally get it that there's no shortcuts. But you shouldn't do something FAR too much either because you get sick and bored of it which may permanently take the curiosity and enjoyment out of it, personally i've always been very sporadic the way i do things i do some then go away, i do some more then go away lol and if i'm not at all feeling up to it i come back to it when i feel okay again i don't force it and get all hard on myself about it. So when i go back to something i also can feel enjoyment from it every time vs if i did it constantly where i know i'll completely put myself off it. I've been working on trying to create a balance with whatever i may learn too and if i do something for 2 days, and then take 2 days off i'm able to go back to it FAR more often vs working on it for 1 week every day where i then don't go back to it for several months. So far it's working and again if i don't feel up to it cos of my anxiety i just don't do anything and chill out until i feel better, which just happened and now already i'm feeling the urge to go back to things🙂doing something in shorter periods rather than longer periods means then you get more done because you're going back to it far more often, and you aren't constantly glued to doing the same thing every day we need spontinasity and different things in our lives, it's certainly not school that keeps you in a constant strict schedule day after day it's not how we really work lol. I feel like i'm breaking the habit and it's hard cos i get obsessive once i get into it but i just tell myself "it will be there in a few days i promise" and i relax and drop it. Sporadic isn't lazy it's just better for us.
@jadeboyer5403
@jadeboyer5403 Жыл бұрын
I agree with this so much! I have started to make better progress on my goals when I focus on taking small steps rather than making dramatic changes. I remind myself that slow progress is good progress and it is okay that I don't get results I want right away because when the change does come it will actually last instead of burning out.
@themysteriousstranger4276
@themysteriousstranger4276 Жыл бұрын
this is so true. I've been trying to make it to the gym consistently. For a real long time, if I couldn't do the whole workout I had in mind, I would just not do it, and since I work overnight as a caregiver, it can be real hard to schedule recovery and exercise if you don't have access to a 24-hour gym (which I don't). Anyway, I don't know when it hit me, but at some point, I realized if I prioritize the stuff I can do only at the gym while I'm there, like oly weightlifting and do the other stuff like burpees when it's a little more convenient, I get something done rather than nothing, and importantly, it's something I could have done only at the gym. Along with gradually increasing my work capacity with things like commuting by bike ( I don't have a car), I've found a decent arrangement that enables me to work but still find time for the things I enjoy.
@WASDLeftClick
@WASDLeftClick Жыл бұрын
Man if there is one thing I struggle with in regards to discipline it’s that I’m always frustrated that progress takes so long. It feels like I’m already really far behind in life and I often don’t have patience for myself. I want to start living for real and I’m almost 30 it’s like I don’t have time for this.
@FlyingMonkies325
@FlyingMonkies325 Жыл бұрын
@@WASDLeftClick I feel the same but at the same time schools didn't really teach me anything either so i know i have to catch up, and i feel like i'm constantly playing catch up too but we have to do it. I'm nearly finished learning maths up to at least decimals, percentages and negative numbers then throw in the data stuff like picture and line graphs then scatter plots, after that i'm stopping cos i won't need anything after that. I don't know who will help me paying the bills or other financial stuff when it's just me if i can't do maths, financial stuff requires decimals and percentages so we have to learn things to a certain point to be self-sufficient. However if you want to get into a specific career then you're gonna have to put your head down, but it's far better just learning things by ourselves with how unreliable the education system is, we just can't do things properly or focus they don't let us. But if you aren't then it's still important to learn the things we need to.
@CowJangles
@CowJangles Жыл бұрын
"Using willpower is hard. So instead of using willpower to follow through with activities your mind is fighting against, use willpower to resist urges by urge surfing."
@rexaustin2885
@rexaustin2885 Жыл бұрын
While already working on the task.
@egg3909
@egg3909 Жыл бұрын
P
@pedrocardoso9732
@pedrocardoso9732 8 ай бұрын
That seems valid. A lot of Dr. K advice seem vague, contradicting, not realistic. I guess it's either the price for making too general of a content; or tackling too many topics, while having specified himself in none or a few.
@MegaSandraKay
@MegaSandraKay 8 ай бұрын
There's a difference between forcing yourself to not do the thing you want, and allowing yourself to feel the craving, then letting it flow over and through. It's the same thing he talks about with feeling, allowing, acknowledging emotions, but not punching someone. It's a meditative practice.
@pedrocardoso9732
@pedrocardoso9732 8 ай бұрын
@@MegaSandraKay You're not really explaining the difference.
@trashbag4796
@trashbag4796 Жыл бұрын
This is a very important topic, thank you Dr. K :) The therapist i saw for CBT (for OCD) referred to this as a bell curve as the anxiety rises, peaks, and lowers instead of rising forever. It has to end because you have limited energy & neurotransmitters, making it physiologically impossible for it to not end. So as long as you: 1) Start small (so you're not overwhelmed or retraumatized); 2) Keep reminding yourself it has an end point; and 3) let yourself ride the wave / bell curve, it shouldn't get worse. In fact the bell curve / wave peaks lower and becomes shorter as you continue doing this. You just Have to see it through.
@CHRISPARVISMAGNAGAMING
@CHRISPARVISMAGNAGAMING Жыл бұрын
This really couldn't have been uploaded with better timing. Last Monday I spent most of the day thinking about the fact that I genuinely feel like there have been several moments in my life where success has been at my fingertips; and maybe I come across a speedbump. A minor inconvenience, or self belittling thought. In those situations my immediate response was always to switch lanes. I gave up on soccer, theater, music, and content creation. I found success in dog training and I've been doing that for a few years now, but I just feel like I regret so much and I failed myself so much.
@galaxylucia1898
@galaxylucia1898 Жыл бұрын
I totally understand this feeling of regret and shame even for feeling like you failed yourself. But here’s one very important thing to remember: *You’re still alive.* So you have time to literally achieve whatever you want. The time will continue to tick down anyway. So you might as well get back to your interests, create a schedule to develop and grow the necessary skills. 10 years is gonna go by whether you want to or not, so might as well spend some of these years being happy living a life that is fulfilling to YOU. No apologies. Good luck!💛
@Socsob
@Socsob Жыл бұрын
I swear Dr. K is watching my life and making videos specified to me, they are always so relevant
@DaRocketGuy
@DaRocketGuy Жыл бұрын
perhaps more people are just like you than just you
@georgegray2712
@georgegray2712 Жыл бұрын
More likely you’ve just got every type of problem/issue/challenge he covers.
@Socsob
@Socsob Жыл бұрын
@@georgegray2712 more like I got every problem in the world lmao
@JonDotExe
@JonDotExe Жыл бұрын
@@georgegray2712 All of us appear to be an example of the youtube audience alignment algorithm in perfect harmony.
@liltimVSnwo
@liltimVSnwo Жыл бұрын
@@JonDotExe nahhhh lol
@ryanfindley736
@ryanfindley736 Жыл бұрын
I recently started realizing that my ADHD is a disorder that really permeates everything in my life. I have been missing almost every deadline I have made with myself and others and I feel like I can’t be trusted and I feel like an awful person for missing my deadlines (or getting extremely close to missing it) . I just started treating my adhd with medication, exercise and eating better and I definitely see a difference, but it isn’t a completed solution, and I definitely need to become more comfortable with being bored, the information in this video is super helpful. Thanks for this video Dr. K!
@5uperM
@5uperM Жыл бұрын
I feel you man.
@yaoipurpleheart
@yaoipurpleheart Жыл бұрын
@@5uperM i love your pfp
@5uperM
@5uperM Жыл бұрын
@@yaoipurpleheart thank you
@judsonhester1407
@judsonhester1407 Жыл бұрын
Yeah I haven't been diagnosed but just talked with my parents about going to get diagnosed. At this point in my life focus is such a problem that I've been missing deadlines and i went from being a very responsible student to now missing every deadline, being unable to create new routines, and finding it extremely difficult to convince myself to live a healthier lifestyle in spite of the many times i have tried. I'm hopeful that i can get medication and learn ways to manage my focus. If it turns out I don't have ADHD I'm not sure what I'd do.
@ryanfindley736
@ryanfindley736 Жыл бұрын
@@judsonhester1407 I relate to that. I tried to deny that I had ADHD or that it wasn’t that bad. I definitely recommend getting diagnosed soon, the sooner you can get to know yourself the sooner you can begin the steps to learning how to help yourself
@laja6108
@laja6108 6 ай бұрын
I feel like "urge surfing" is just another way of saying, "be present." It's amazing to me how many ills of the mind can be resolved or (simply pass by) by being present.
@crisrodriguez5693
@crisrodriguez5693 Жыл бұрын
I've doing this for years, and while it has helped me in some ways, I think I ended up conditioning myself to not feel exited (or feel less exited) about anything. I tend to try and procrastinate on all the options available and sometimes end up doing nothing (staring at the wall, even) or having to use willpower for things that should not need it, like gaming. I'm struggling to differentiate cravings from genuine wishes too.
@LiliaGrundt
@LiliaGrundt Жыл бұрын
I kind of emphasise with that. I have an issue that might be similar and yeah, it's not nice.
@alphatucanaletsplay
@alphatucanaletsplay 5 ай бұрын
Could it be some kind of burnout or reaction to negative experience and you need to rest on some level, perhaps for a long time?
@crisrodriguez5693
@crisrodriguez5693 5 ай бұрын
@@alphatucanaletsplay huh, my therapist said the same thing recently. It might be that. I need to figure out how to actually rest though, since even doing nothing seems to drain my energy. Not sure how people do it.
@alphatucanaletsplay
@alphatucanaletsplay 5 ай бұрын
@@crisrodriguez5693 I do it by not caring (in a way). If there's some thought or belief in the back of your mind that is bugging you, you will need to become more aware of it so you can actually ignore it rather than have it stress you out without you being aware of where it's coming from. So, you're not good enough, not successful enough, too lazy, ugly, awkward, whatever : so what? Find it, observe it, so what it, and just live your life. Humans seem to be the only animals that confuse themselves about just being who & what they are.
@o0MRG0o
@o0MRG0o Жыл бұрын
The key take away here for me is the concept that boredom can be put to use. I'm trying to get back to working out and learned that some muscles like the middle deltoid or shoulder muscle is really hard to target because it's easy to cheat by using other muscles. One way around this is to intentionally work out the front and back delt so they're too tired to cheat as much by the time I get to the middle delt. Urge surfing feels similar to this, because you're basically tiring out the "urge muscle" so you can stay on target. My question is, does the urge ever respond negatively to this by getting stronger?
@AryaFairywren
@AryaFairywren Жыл бұрын
> My question is, does the urge ever respond negatively to this by getting stronger? Don't you want to find out? ;-P
@davidzy4924
@davidzy4924 Жыл бұрын
I think he said on some other video that the urge becomes stronger if you give in after resisting it for a while in the same instance. Your mind then learns that it has to hit you with that level 9 urge to get that dopamine that it wants.
@erumaaro6060
@erumaaro6060 Жыл бұрын
That's actually kind of genius.
@monocyte2210
@monocyte2210 Жыл бұрын
@Sander this is actually correct
@gabrielabhaktirasaveiskate4785
@gabrielabhaktirasaveiskate4785 Жыл бұрын
​@Sander That actually explains how I was able to get out of my ED. I would deny myself to eat a certain amount of food and would always binge after 1-3 days, for 2.5 years. ...It was exam season and I had to make a choice between passing exams or trying to stick to the diet, and decided to eat whatever until exams are over so I have enough mental energy for studying. When exams ended, my mind had stopped the obsessiveness over food and I decided to stop extreme dieting and wow, even my portion sizes went down and after a year I found that I lost the weight I had put on by the ED binging :DD
@poelogan
@poelogan Жыл бұрын
This video is the biggest help but also genius because the actual concept of talking about urge surfing breeds better watch time. Since anyone who wants to urge surf off the video then immediately discovers what it is, then goes back, like I did lol You’re a genius Dr. K
@amanchauhan2357
@amanchauhan2357 Жыл бұрын
Exactly! 5D chess move by Dr. K!
@sieg8036
@sieg8036 Жыл бұрын
Im sure that wasn't Dr. K's intention but both viewers and Dr K. benefits. It's a win win
@chobwazhere4315
@chobwazhere4315 Жыл бұрын
@@sieg8036 his videos have been a lot more clickbaity and the channel even does shorts now. Absolutely what he was trying to do. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, especially in this case
@levylost8550
@levylost8550 Жыл бұрын
so if im right urge surf means to be aware of your brain and body reactions and thats what meditation help us to do, im getting somewhere
@sieg8036
@sieg8036 Жыл бұрын
@@chobwazhere4315 pretty sure hes not the one managing the channel
@7seventhsoul7
@7seventhsoul7 Жыл бұрын
My mind wants to do nothing though... I don't tend to switch to something dopaminergic if I'm doing something hard, I just want to lie down and sleep.
@catherinealvarado7237
@catherinealvarado7237 4 ай бұрын
Tracking my progress helps me stay consistent. I put a sticker on the my calendar on the days I exercise. It’s harder to give up on all the progress that way.
@classyjohn1923
@classyjohn1923 Жыл бұрын
I understand that “urge surfing” is a phrase he labeled this process which he has already mentioned several times on stream before. But, to me, this is the first time he’s described the idea that our mind will have urges when we’re bored and that these urges are temporary. For me, the biggest contributor of my “laziness” is that my urges don’t feel temporary so i end up giving into the urge and hence, every “habit” I’ve developed tends to be bad
@danethenice
@danethenice Жыл бұрын
I think the urges don't feel temporary because they always come back if we keep giving in to them. Only if we observe and tolerate them they will dissipate over time
@JamesonHuddle
@JamesonHuddle Жыл бұрын
In the moment, urges are temporary, over hours and days and weeks urges don't feel temporary because we have built habits that reward them, it takes a while to break habits, the point of this technique is that by focusing on the urges and just sitting with them in the moment they can be temporarily overcome and new habits can form.
@LA-cm9uo
@LA-cm9uo Жыл бұрын
I get it. I replaced browsing my phone on the bed with reading on the bed. Reading a good, good book can be immersing and I forget the urge to scroll the phone.
@cinemadonut7744
@cinemadonut7744 Жыл бұрын
UUu!!! OOOO!!!! I dont know if this relates to you, but I had the same problem, I only recently realized why. I didn't acknowledge how I felt, my impulse was to try to ignore it away and I always failed, maybe a would manage for a day or two , rarely a whole week. Felt terrible. I recently watched Dr. K's "You Can't LOGIC Your Way Out of Depression" video, and got reminded of a very fundamental technique which was basically stop, identify how you feel, acknowledge it, and sit with it a bit, try to figure out why you feel like it, and then try to be ok with feeling this way. This FINNALY ended the cycle, I mean I'm still not perfect but my success rate exploded. I think that , at least in my case, whenever I Ignore how I felt, urges included, the emotion/feeling would keep growing and growing until I caved and only then was there relief, but the cost was me not being able to follow thru with anything. Now the relief comes when I recognize what I'm feeling and give it space, which then lets my brain operate from a smother/ more in control space.
@jeremywvarietyofviewpoints3104
@jeremywvarietyofviewpoints3104 Жыл бұрын
@@danethenice so true.
@flynnoflenniken7402
@flynnoflenniken7402 Жыл бұрын
I've noticed meditation can help with building up this kind of skill. Like, when you meditate you're focusing on something (breathing, sounds, a point on the wall, etc.), and throughout the meditation you have "monkey mind" thoughts that creep into your head while you're trying to maintain focus. Stuff like what you're going to do later with your day or ruminating on something that happened. Random thoughts creep into your mind, and you have to practice acknowledging the thought and brushing it away so you can go back to what you were focusing on. Over time, the more you do this the better you get at recognizing when you've become distracted, and you can go back to what you were focusing on more quickly. For me this translates over to when I'm trying to work on something too. I constantly have random distracting thoughts creeping into my mind, and because of all the meditation I've done, I'm able to recognize what's going on, acknowledge the thought, then toss it aside so I can refocus on what I'm currently doing. Of course some days I completely fail and backtrack, but over the long term I've become a lot more able to focus on a task and power through it as I need to.
@nehalilisays
@nehalilisays Жыл бұрын
That's exactly my problem. My main "urge" is to think of something else, to think something through, to re-imagine a scenario until it's "perfect", etc. That negatively affects my ability to fall asleep, focus on studying and do something more productive in my free time. So, I think I'm gonna try meditating before sleep tonight and practice doing it.
@jennw6809
@jennw6809 Жыл бұрын
@@nehalilisays This was my reaction too - like, wait, is it possible for me to urge surf my tendency to ruminate???
@FlyingMonkies325
@FlyingMonkies325 Жыл бұрын
Meditation not into cos i have a super carefree side that would just respond to it as doing that other than something else cos it feels so peaceful and stress free lol and once i did in high school and i just felt too good with the big energy boost i got that it's all i wanted to feel and just bask in it lol. Instead i noticed when i just lye back, breath, give my brain a rest for 20 mins and maybe close my eyes for a few mins and just let my thought wander to let all those monkey thoughts out lol i guess my brain has something to say😂then i sit up again and look at it and my focus starts to come back again. I tend to take it as my brain maybe telling me it needs a break and to process stuff a little bit so i give it the time and bear with it. But in the shower or when i get in bed that's when the monkey thoughts REALLY start to come out but i don't mind but it's always took me at least 1 hour to fall sleep until my brain gives up and is like "okay i'm done too sleepy now" lol so why i treat it like a separate entity because who we are and what our brain does really is two seperate things.
@aiiiia9971
@aiiiia9971 Жыл бұрын
This is so true I've got that monkey mind
@darchcruise
@darchcruise Жыл бұрын
This is the same treatment to cure panic disorder and OCD. Taught in ACT "Acceptance Commitment Therapy." Do nothing when you get the thoughts, feelings, and urge to escape, wait in discomfort until it passes. Easy to understand, very hard to do.
@rasenchidori122
@rasenchidori122 Жыл бұрын
Genuinely, thank you. You had it down to a tee when you spoke about almost switching off the video and this can be applied to so many things I've been struggling with in my life. I'm sure you get this a lot, but a lot of us late 90s kids and onward really need voices like you and the positive impact you have made is absolutely incredible. GGWP.
@milkbread5036
@milkbread5036 Жыл бұрын
I like to repeat mantras in my head that helps me stay focused. One of them is, "I have to do it anyways, so might as well get it over with" the second is, "not all pain is bad and not all pleasure is good"
@anewagora
@anewagora Жыл бұрын
The fact he said people get bored of doing what they want to do stands out to me. It really is sad and shocking to consider how many people in the modern world have never experienced a state of total Being, where they get into the music and rhythm of the activity. Complete presence and satisfaction in the thing we're doing. Something is deeply broken in the modern world if it damages people so much they're demoralized from natural motivation. Thank God Dr. K is explaining this. Mind blowing.
@akioasakura3624
@akioasakura3624 9 күн бұрын
this is the REAL video about procrastination. all other procrastination videos are made for normies who dont actually understand this feeling. sir ur a legend tysm
@mrman2415
@mrman2415 18 күн бұрын
I discovered the truth about trying to use willpower through my struggles with addiction. Trying to use willpower to overcome impulses or lack of discipline is like trying to box a man who has much more stamina than you. You might do well at first, but you'll eventually tire and lose.
@randxalthor
@randxalthor Жыл бұрын
I love these explainers that come with both rationale and practical tips for implementation. It's not "just do it," it's "here's where to start with something management."
@maxmustermann194
@maxmustermann194 Жыл бұрын
Adding this to watch later.
@trulydumb506
@trulydumb506 Жыл бұрын
The irony
@ironmanrox3145
@ironmanrox3145 9 ай бұрын
It's later, have you watched it yet?
@Nigel514
@Nigel514 7 ай бұрын
It's a bad habit that i struggle with😂 but I've watched it
@KiranUttarkarAwsome
@KiranUttarkarAwsome Жыл бұрын
Never felt an urge to switch off this video while I was watching it. You are teaching a very essential skill. You taught it so well. You are brilliant! Thank you!
@PhilipPeace-pt6uc
@PhilipPeace-pt6uc 12 күн бұрын
This guy is more supportive and helpful than my dad.
@AlixKRex
@AlixKRex Жыл бұрын
1st off, gotta say a huge thank you to this channel. You’ve saved so many years of heartache and headaches. We aren’t broken we aren’t worthless we can do what we want. I believe in all of us fighting for that. 2nd - Ever since finding your channel shortly after learning about how bad social media has been shortening attention spans, I’ve been evaluating everything I put time and energy into. Sometimes I need to do some mindless media content surfing still I won’t lie but I tell ya, when you focus on unlearning this for a long time you’ll suddenly realize it’s way less and it keeps decreasing. You’ll even start hating the feeling and recognizing it for what it is. Wasting valuable time that you could just as easily be using for things that will enrich your life. Now, I work to hold myself accountable when I get distracted and check myself. Go have fun outside of the internet if you can or at least off social medias. Immerse yourself in learning something new, a dance routine/style, a workout style, music, maths, sciences, work on writing something, read something (even something small like fanfic or a comics!), learn some arts, go for a walk or run, go lay in the grass while doing one of these things. Dare I say, indulge in making it special. Make yourself some coffee or tea or fav drink of choice and start having positive associations with cultivating space of loving new things and things that bring something more to your life rather than suck it into the void. Light some incense or a candle, put some mellow music on in the background if it helps, and surf through yourself to find what you really want to devote yourself to! The internet and social medias aren’t going anywhere, they’ll still be there if you hate it but I really doubt you will! Plus, you can find communities for the interests on discord or KZbin to self teach! My channel, for starters, had a huge repository of free learning resources I’ve spent ages finding and will only keep adding to as I have time to make sure the others I’ve bookmarked are good resources. There’s so much of the world left to see, don’t let social media and what it’s done to our brains make you forget the beauty out here in even the most mundane of things. Simply going for a walk or just sitting there lookin at nature can do a mind some wonders! I wish you all the best of luck but I know you don’t need it. 🫶🏻🤓💕you got this
@rafiknabil2144
@rafiknabil2144 9 ай бұрын
Thanks for all what you share
@PhatesDemise
@PhatesDemise Жыл бұрын
The biggest thing that helps me is surrounding yourself with people that also want to do it. When I make commitments with other people I always find myself available. If o say imma study with someone I now have a plan to do it. If I’m meeting someone at the gym imma be there. Responsibility makes me significantly more likely to do anything.
@Rosemary33399
@Rosemary33399 7 ай бұрын
I don’t even lose excitement or get bored, I just gain excitement about a million other things like he said & get overwhelmed & then I go into avoidance/procrastination while the inner conflict of wanting to do something rlly bad but preventing yourself from doing it & perfectionism & convincing yourself why i can’t start yet continues internally, rip squidward’s hopes & dreams lol
@jojeus3414
@jojeus3414 22 күн бұрын
3:14 whenever I try doing things that aquire focus I get really really tired. Imma keep watching the video and kinda document it but its a lot harder My mind doesnt get excited about new things lol. Its like "no its gonna be arduous" I know that urge surfing from like sugar. When I withstand the urge to eat a cookie for some time it goes away for some time. whats helping with this: -Notice what desire your having, then "just" dont act upon it, if you do it long enough your mind will return to what your doing -The desire to switch is a desire in itself because the mind adapted to what Im doing currently and wants something new Next: Dont start with your biggest Craving. Learn Craving surfing with "easier" cravings. 10:48 it actually only lasted a couple minutes til min 6-7 of the video because my brother interrupted me and we talked for a while (10 min cc) but didnt go away completely (Im still not that focused but Im not drop dead tired anymore) I made it through the Video and I will try (not only try I will!) to apply it to real life. This comment is mostly for me, if someone happens to read it and wanna give feedback or just an acknowledgement that I made it Id be happy tho ^^
@abdelilhmanflores
@abdelilhmanflores Жыл бұрын
I’m so glad these videos are here. I really felt like I needed help to follow through for the longest time. I have tried my own self experimenting but this really helped
@msihcs8171
@msihcs8171 Жыл бұрын
Dude, focusing on nothing is something I can do. I'm a VERY goal oriented person with a problem following through though I was really good at it when I was younger, but as I get older it's hard mainly, a hormonal imbalance that I'm working to address (TBI screwed up everything.) I actually had to rewind the video a couple of times because of getting distracted so I think you're right about my brain naturally wanting to fight it, gonna give this a try and see if I can make it work.
@ClearBlueSky1
@ClearBlueSky1 Жыл бұрын
DrK this was the most perfectly timed video ever , I've been giving into my procrastination for a few days and listening to all sorts of excuses my minds been throwing at me. And Ive even heard of urge surfing before but my brain had already convinced me that it wasn't going to work for myself ( no logic at all) . But I watched this video on 1x on purpose I usually watch YT videos on 1.5 or 2x. And I actually urge surfed many times during the duration of this video. And when you tell us that we've already done something, that feels so powerful. Thank you so much for providing us this tool against procrastinating and craving !! 💕💕
@illssolution5720
@illssolution5720 Ай бұрын
Perfect! Thank you!
@melissametzger2987
@melissametzger2987 4 ай бұрын
I’m on my third listen of this message. Thank you Dr. K.
@D_Jilla
@D_Jilla Жыл бұрын
Consistency is one of the big topics I discussed with my therapist. Thank you for this, Dr. K!
@TheLordSheogorath
@TheLordSheogorath Ай бұрын
Thing that helped me finish college on second try was telling myself this: I will not study (that was such a strong word for me), but I will pick three or four subjects and make sure to consistently read what we learned that day from them. Just to read it, nothing more. But the task was that I must read the lesson exactly the same day we had it taught when I come home. Sometimes I would even start at the bus on the way home. It worked wonders and it was so much easier to rehearse study later. You would already hear the lesson once in class and then read it second time at home, and you are bound to clear things up if there are any issues because there was absolutely no pressure, or you could ask the teacher the next class. I even managed to do this on the final week before the exams, I was that consistent. Just changing the word studying to reading did wonders. It was a much less effort than studying the whole day, and still gave amazing results.
@matthewgillespie2835
@matthewgillespie2835 3 ай бұрын
2 days in and this realization has made all the difference! This along with understanding the cycle of productivity/complacency/laziness that has charictarized my life for 6 years, and proving myself wrong. Here's to more! I hope in 3 weeks to continue being successful with this and with it make a youtube video vouching for this technique and how it changed my life.
@Evan-bx5wb
@Evan-bx5wb Жыл бұрын
really needed this for following through my studying schedule for my last week of finals, thank you for the video :D
@kylespevak6781
@kylespevak6781 Жыл бұрын
Willpower is a muscle. You have to train it to get better with it. That's why people who have never use any willpower in their lives tend to not follow through with big asks like dieting and hitting the gym
@cheese-bg1xq
@cheese-bg1xq Ай бұрын
It honestly really sucks emotionally. I think I enjoy something and even do it to an "unhealthy" extent, then boom, I suddenly don't and want to go to something else. My mind loves multitasking, too. Often, it desires me to watch many videos at the same time, and play games while doing stuff, although it's impossible. Social media, man. It destroyed me. Thank you so much for the video. :)
@cookechris28
@cookechris28 Жыл бұрын
This is, pound-for-pound, the most practical and useful advice you've given on this platform thus far. It's not the most IMPORTANT, topics like shame and dealing with powerful negative emotion, or self-destructive mental/emotional hygiene are likely the most important. But as a long-time viewer and someone who has already improved his life with HealthyGamer, this is TOP 5, easy.
@Madchris8828
@Madchris8828 Жыл бұрын
Let's all be realistic here, we may have willpower for certain activities in our life but procrastinate and ignore tons of other things. Very few people have willpower to do everything they want. Thanks Dr K for another insightful video
@steves1015
@steves1015 Жыл бұрын
Your advice resonates but i know some of my problem is self confidence. It would be nice to have people to bounce ideas off of and have someone truly supportive whom I can talk to. I've not always had that and instead I've had partners in the past who question what I want to do (not in a constructive way) and make me feel like I am either silly for wanting to do it, or that I can't achieve it. Ironically, through counseling/life coaching I managed to get to a good place with this, and was making achievements, then a few years ago a chronic illness hit, and now I feel like I am back before where I started.
@JohnTravena
@JohnTravena 2 ай бұрын
Really helpful, thanks!
@BeStillandKnow0000
@BeStillandKnow0000 5 ай бұрын
I'm just grateful for being ready to receive this kind of knowledge. SO HELPFUL! I'm applying it while i'm watching it
@nicehorn5250
@nicehorn5250 Жыл бұрын
Wow, it was really helpful for me to see my own micro example of urge surfing in real time. And to know I overcame it by the end of the vid. Thx Dr K 👍
@danicasts
@danicasts Жыл бұрын
Dr. K is such a great teacher, I literally love this channel.
@dr.haniakasheh.3560
@dr.haniakasheh.3560 Жыл бұрын
You are Brilliant ! The way you explained how our minds adapt to our own urges and how shifting urges is intrinsically an urge .... wow
@andrewwhite8638
@andrewwhite8638 Ай бұрын
I like this phrase "urge surfing". It frames the effort as a rewarding challenge, and acknowledges the reality that while these cravings are in a sense bigger than us and beyond our control, we can nonetheless meaningfully change how we interact with them.
@derzuschauer2126
@derzuschauer2126 Жыл бұрын
this man deserves all the praising and awards! He has answers and solutions to everything, it's so awesome!
@jaredcrue7099
@jaredcrue7099 Жыл бұрын
One of my problems, possibly ADHD related... There are many things I could do, including hundreds of games at my disposal. Too many things go unfinished. I miss the follow through. (Knowing deeper game mechanics, quirks, and in game builds that actually get completed). A few days ago I started a loose schedule which includes IRL and game things. The schedule has a accompanying rule set, so I don't randomly play a game I've played many times. Basically limiting myself to a few games I enjoy. It's very much a work in progress rn.
@SpencerJhay
@SpencerJhay Жыл бұрын
I felt that urge to pull away from this video at least three different times throughout. Nothing at all that you or this video did to do that, it was more of recognizing that urge like you said here. Thanks so much for the video!
@Iistener
@Iistener Жыл бұрын
God damn urge surfing goes hard. Changing the focus from "holding strong" or "resisting" to just surfing is so pleasant. Keeping in mind that the craving is finite and won't last forever is infinitely reassuring with how intense the cravings get.
@lowfidelity5917
@lowfidelity5917 Жыл бұрын
I feel like I always find another thing wrong with me after Dr. K uploads another video.
@willie629
@willie629 Жыл бұрын
I'm not gonna say there're anything wrong with you because obviously we're stranger. But if I were you I wouldn't say there's something wrong with me, I would say there's something I need to improve. But, do what you do, who cares
@lowfidelity5917
@lowfidelity5917 Жыл бұрын
@@willie629 Damn thanks, small steps i guess there is a lot to improve
@willie629
@willie629 Жыл бұрын
@@lowfidelity5917 I'm glad you find my muse helpful 😁
@DiamondEyez456
@DiamondEyez456 Жыл бұрын
Yes, notice it, the 20-minute rule helps so much! Sometimes it's taking it minute by minute breathing through gets you through to the 20-minute and it can come around and it's gone. Sometimes it's not..yet you keep trying and if not a life determinantal craving, go for a small bit, be mindful while engaging in it so you are fully immersed, enjoy and then carry on.
@srta.carlota696
@srta.carlota696 Жыл бұрын
wait i don't understand the 20minutr rule you mean surf the urge for 20minutes?
@DiamondEyez456
@DiamondEyez456 Жыл бұрын
@@srta.carlota696 yes. ‘Surf the urge’
@tobiaszmichalik9672
@tobiaszmichalik9672 Жыл бұрын
Thank you, this was much needed
@user-xx6hs2qv3s
@user-xx6hs2qv3s 5 ай бұрын
You are amazing !! Thank you
@Hemlocker
@Hemlocker Жыл бұрын
Urge-surfing requires willpower, right? When you have an urge to do something in the moment, resisting that requires willpower.
@diogoantunes5473
@diogoantunes5473 Жыл бұрын
Yes, but it might requite less will poeer to NOT give in to the urge but also not do the task, than to keep doing the task. I am skeptical that this works because I think I would be perfectly happy just resting and not doing anything 😄 It makes sense that it is used with heroin and such, when giving in to the urge is worse than doing nothing.
@thesidebrain
@thesidebrain Жыл бұрын
I don't say this lightly. This is an incredibly brilliant video.
@thesidebrain
@thesidebrain Жыл бұрын
Also, definitely earned my sub.
@federicolarosa1486
@federicolarosa1486 Жыл бұрын
Probably best advice in months, thank you!
@richardcsanaki5531
@richardcsanaki5531 Ай бұрын
I don't know how or why this channel got created but it's undeniable that it is really helpful and I'm thankful for the opportunity to get this kind of advice. Becoming more of aware of oneself and prioritizing meditation were key elements in the better parts of my life. Trying hard not to lose sight of these.
@jansanchez947
@jansanchez947 Жыл бұрын
Nobody ever blowed my mind so many times like this guy ... absolutely love him :)
@yannikovsky7041
@yannikovsky7041 Жыл бұрын
the more i learn about this stuff, it really does come down to will power and self discipline. whether i want to or not I HAVE to power it through. damn
@josgraha
@josgraha Жыл бұрын
excellent advice, thank you!
@dirkpopowitz364
@dirkpopowitz364 9 ай бұрын
I follow your insights and instructions for years now and i always get a kick out of them. They helped me a lot! but this time you hit the head of the nail so hard, that i could not resist the craving to say: THANK YOU! From the depth of my heart! This is the second time in my life that i commend a Video on KZbin. I hope the message comes thrue. I‘m so glad you‘re here for us and i think that you are a real Bhoddisattva! Stay blessed! Live long and help as many people as you can. Many greetings and best whishes from Germany! ❤
@Wrathwithin18
@Wrathwithin18 Жыл бұрын
Oh geez the callout is real on this one. It feels like your cornered my mind and it felt threatened hahaha This video is particularly great for me, as my whole life I've been following what my mind wanted to do, making me feel like a slave to it. The way you made me realize how to do and how I've "Urge surfed", as you said, is so beneficial.. It makes me see that it is totally possible and I actually did do it. Thanks again Dr.K !
@Jeridiculous
@Jeridiculous Жыл бұрын
This strategy as described unfortunately is only for certain situations, like continuing with a task or activity that has already been started. I'd like to hear about some strategies for maintaining consistency for things that need to be done daily, or on a set schedule
@ichirosuzuki2252
@ichirosuzuki2252 Жыл бұрын
Pomodoro technique. Set a 25 minute timer when you start a task and commit to doing that task with your complete focus over that period. Once that is over, take a 10 minute break, then initiate another 25 minute set. It also helps to not focus on the "end goal" or result from you doing a consistent task, but rather focus on just doing the actual task itself. This way you don't get too overwhelmed about your progress and you can treat each day or session as its own little victory rather than becoming intimidated by the journey ahead. Trust the process and that you will make progress.
@DarkMarkison
@DarkMarkison Жыл бұрын
I have found that starting on something smaller and then working my way up to the goal works way better. It is okay not to complete some tasks as long as you are performing it the best way you know how.
@srta.carlota696
@srta.carlota696 Жыл бұрын
but i think what makes you "not start" something is the same, it's the urges, you're procrastinating either way
@JohnnyB.Good10
@JohnnyB.Good10 Жыл бұрын
​ @Ichiro Suzuki tell yourself that you start just for 5 minutes with small thing
@Roran97
@Roran97 Жыл бұрын
Very interesting and educational! I've been wanting, perhaps even craving, a video like this lately without even knowing it. I once heard that "a body at work will stay at work" in reference to getting things done, which I've implemented to a degree into my life. Basically, as long as I do something I'm "supposed to do" I'll keep doing more until I take a break or I guess fall into my urge to do something else. Being aware of your urges, and surfing them seems like a better way to think about it. For one it's helpful to think about what your brain is craving, but also just then to not give in to it; Regardless of how productive that moment is, it'll pass and you'll find room for something else.
@Bardent
@Bardent Жыл бұрын
This is an eye opening video! Thank you Dr. K!
@kurushimee
@kurushimee 6 ай бұрын
Jokes on you, I didn't want to click off this video because I was listening to it in the background while doing something else
@hikigayahaachiman
@hikigayahaachiman 8 күн бұрын
out of context, i love your pfp :))
@yashkhambhatta9536
@yashkhambhatta9536 Жыл бұрын
* insert a funny and witty comment about Dr K putting out a video just as i need it , since i am too lazy to come up with one *
@willtaylor808
@willtaylor808 Жыл бұрын
Bro! I just came back from my bitchin' dawn patrol and saw this uploaded 5 minutes ago! This guy is like, totally watchin' me!
@markbisnauth3369
@markbisnauth3369 8 ай бұрын
Thank you for this information! Greatly appreciated!
@chungheonable
@chungheonable Жыл бұрын
From what I read from a few self help videos/books, that I feel really helps. Is remove distractions, visualise success/start something with the end in mind, and the 5 mins deal (you tell yourself to just do the dreadful tasks for 5 mins at least)
@micryt.
@micryt. Жыл бұрын
So I urge surfed through this video but unlike you said, the urge didn't melt away at any point. It's still here as I'm writing this comment. I am able to ignore the urge because it's only 12 minute video and watching it is a passive activity. Writing a short comment isn't that hard as well. The problem arises when doing something more complicated. Ignoring an urge then requires a lot of effort which stops me from doing whatever I need to do. It sometimes takes hours of doing nothing until I give up because it's better to do something fun than nothing. So I think this topic needs elaboration because as presented it's not that useful to me.
@kateginger
@kateginger Жыл бұрын
What he describes is a skill, so the longer you do it, the weaker the urges will become over time. It might take weeks or months to notice, but right now you are training your brain to not crave things as strongly and as long in the future. That's why it's better to start with easier things and get to the harder things as you get better. I also think dopamine detox (he has a video about it) is also very useful, because our brains are so used to constant stimuli and being bored is just too hard nowadays. I used to be able to read books at 10 years ols and study for hours and now at 25 I'm struggling to do anything and I think it's because I'm addicted to distractions at this point. 😅
@C_CREATURE_
@C_CREATURE_ Жыл бұрын
11:00 Actually, the sad reason I stayed on the video, is because I'm resisting doing the more important thing, the video itself is the urge I'm giving into.
@gabrielcruvinel9722
@gabrielcruvinel9722 Жыл бұрын
Very nice info. Thanks for sharing!
@nicklopez3461
@nicklopez3461 Жыл бұрын
Much needed practice for me. Thank you!
@eddiebreeg3885
@eddiebreeg3885 Жыл бұрын
Am I the only one here who doesn't understand what "just surf on top of the urge" means? Am I supposed to just say "shut up, brain, I'm gonna stick to what I'm doing?" (in which case, how is this not just fighting your brain as described at the start of the video?). Or should I take a break and do nothing to let the urge go away? Or should I do something else entirely?
@rafavc5967
@rafavc5967 Жыл бұрын
You're not supposed to do anything. Notice it, continue doing what you're doing, for one second tell to yourself "this craving will go away in less than 20 minutes I'll focus on Task now WHILE having they craving but not paying much attention to it, If any
@eddiebreeg3885
@eddiebreeg3885 Жыл бұрын
@@rafavc5967 I see, thanks :)
@user-uy3dg6nv9v
@user-uy3dg6nv9v Жыл бұрын
@@rafavc5967 Did I understand right, that the difference between urge surfing and fighting your brain is that while urge surfing you are not rejecting your craving but acknowledging and being mindful of it?
@rafavc5967
@rafavc5967 Жыл бұрын
@@user-uy3dg6nv9v exactly like that
@mdabusaqibalamansari9979
@mdabusaqibalamansari9979 Жыл бұрын
May Allah bless you brother ❤ Very beneficial video very well explained. I didn't skipped a single second of the video and at the end it felt soo satisfying ❤️
@zur13l13
@zur13l13 Жыл бұрын
Brilliant. Use the one thing I'm good at (procrastinating) to fight procrastination! lol I have actually been doing this recently. I found I was buying too many board games, so what I've started doing is, when I find a new board game I want, I add it to a list I keep on my phone and then I know it's there on the list and I can get back to it later. It has really helped slow down my junkie-spending. The big takeaway from this video for me will be to START doing things so that I can get started surfing the urges of doing other things.
@zenfulkatoria
@zenfulkatoria Жыл бұрын
Mind blown 🤯 thank you! So incredibly helpful
@fredosama3466
@fredosama3466 Жыл бұрын
Thanks for your content Dr K. A video about limerance would be fantastic.
@burrito156
@burrito156 Жыл бұрын
yes !!
@SakuraEvangeline
@SakuraEvangeline Жыл бұрын
I would really love to hear a different perspective on this, specifically talking about being too excessive with following through with things to the point where you are constantly overworking yourself. I (currently) think of myself as someone who doesn't follow through with things but that is usually because I have phases where I overwork myself and don't know how to stop doing the thing, even though I can feel myself being on the verge of burnout. Another thing that I immediately thought of was food restricting eating disorders, because I feel like I personally wouldn't want to be able to follow through with everything because I would end up using it to self sabotage in a way. Does anyone know how those thoughts can fit into this concept?
@alphatucanaletsplay
@alphatucanaletsplay 5 ай бұрын
Well, if you know you have this issue, you could set a time limit or other target at the start of the activity or work, then regard the urge to continue as the distraction to be ignored.
@crispaynoodIes
@crispaynoodIes Ай бұрын
Kinda to follow up on alpha's comment, you could treat both the urge to overwork and the urge to restrict eating (for the sake of control, not for health reasons), as urges. I struggled with understanding this video a bit, because I'm teaching myself how to be more mindful over all. I think maybe a more helpful way for me to view it is, we have "urges" all the time. Some are more helpful, some are less helpful. The point is to be aware, and encourage the helpful urges, and "surf" the less helpful ones. Only you know which urges are more helpful, and which ones are causing you problems.
@darthhunter69
@darthhunter69 Жыл бұрын
This was extremely helpful, thank you so much!
@keonilewis6482
@keonilewis6482 Жыл бұрын
I love your videos so much and I was shook by the end of it. When you called me out saying that I was bored about a third of the way through, and you were so right. I was urge surfing the whole time and I really can do it!
@Ephemeral_Inspiration
@Ephemeral_Inspiration Жыл бұрын
I was absolutely called out when he mentioned not switching of the video lol
@umberscholar6403
@umberscholar6403 Жыл бұрын
Our brain’s tendency to task-switch and focus on failure can make it seem like it’s acting against us, but it’s really all about resource management and survival. If you’re a hungry, ancient human and see some fruit high in a tree, it’s good that your brain considers the possibility of you falling out of the tree and breaking bones because healing would take up resources that could lead to death. Even more if you’ve tried and failed to get food that way in the past. Instead, your brain considers other things it could do to find food that would be less of a risk and would take less resources. Your brain isn’t working against you - it’s following protocols that have kept it alive for millennia. It takes so much willpower because you’re literally going against a mechanism that exists for survival. Learning how to mourn the potential of an easier activity helps tremendously. Ultimately, the inevitability of starvation outweighs the risk of falling out of that tree and you have no choice but to climb it.
@nurikhadem7880
@nurikhadem7880 Жыл бұрын
This video was great! Thank You so much!
@RicardoRebelo99
@RicardoRebelo99 Жыл бұрын
Well I did have the urge to pull out my phone mid video, but the video was on the phone, so I just watched till the end. Jokes aside, this is actually something I kind of tried in the past without knowing it, when trying to go over a breakup. At one point I just decided to embrace and feel the pain, and give attention to it, instead of avoiding it. And it just stopped hurting so much, because like you said, it can't last forever. It's a bit different I know, but still feels related to me. Thank you for the video
@yeety8095
@yeety8095 Жыл бұрын
2:50 I actually switched onto this video from another because I saw it as a more valuable use of my time and tend to watch your types of videos and others like it all the way through. So I think these have helped and I'm improving better than I thought since I have that mindset, so thanks :D
@danidsds
@danidsds Жыл бұрын
Excellent, video. Thank you! I'll try it
@Human_01
@Human_01 8 ай бұрын
Invaluable Intel. Thank you Doctor. ❤✨🙏
@raphaelguedes5017
@raphaelguedes5017 8 ай бұрын
The simplicity of it really blow my mind. I knew for a long time that our brain can get used to bad scenarios, but never had the insight that when I'm bored with something I have to do and crave to do another thing, this feeling would go away eventually because the brain would get used to it... Thanks!
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