the rise of PICKME PROPAGANDA - "men control commitment"

[@criticalthinking9924]

Found a great comment that i would like to share:" Dudes who troll feminists are classic submissives who want women to be mean to them for free.Don't take the bait".

[@oneshotonehit6731]

Preach! Also Elle taught me to never respond to mean comments from men, because all they really want is my attention and I am not supposed to give it for free. Honestly it changed my life. I was so bitter before, I wanted to prove myself to these men whom I didn't even know. Now I just laugh and ban them, because I know what their intentions are.

[@gingerlee726]

Omg this! I've noticed this about a year ago. I figured it out when after I would win an argument they would try to add me.

[@ithinkiknowme6450]

💯💯

[@Persephonesbookshop]

hahaha omg that's genius

[@MrsAnnThropy]

@@oneshotonehit6731i think about this a lot. it really keeps me from going in on these washed up weirdos out here. i just start wasting their time or giggling like i would at a toddler trying to tell their mom they’re old enough to make their own decisions

[@Iam_Celene]

Decentering men has done so much good for my life and mental health

[@Jada_RE]

Im still on that journey girl. The spirit is strong but the flesh is weak 😢😢😅

[@ithinkiknowme6450]

I'm on that way but my mother told me she wouldn't pay for my collage if I don't get married to the dude of her choice..gurlll, what i dooo😭😭

[@jenniferl.1610]

Apply for fafsa 😂

[@hevabmore]

Amen sis! I didn't realize just how man centered I was. It has been a journey.

[@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke]

​@@ithinkiknowme6450Tell her that you are getting married and make her pay first, then get a part-time job and cover the rest of the costs.

[@oneshotonehit6731]

My grandparents divorced when they both were 47. My grandpa just kept drinking and hitting rock bottom while grandma was thriving. She renovated her house completely, she was traveling, working in the garden, also liked her job as an accountant, had a lot of friends and family always visiting. So yeah, elderly men really do much worse after divorce.

[@LucilleDesmoulins]

My ex-husband died less than six years after divorce, alone, sick and chronically unemployed. It was so unnecessary and tragic.

[@AyAReI00]

​@@LucilleDesmoulinsis almost as if they don't know hot to cope with the idea to adult THEMSELVES cuz they always had a woman i'm the proximity to outsource everything, the moment they had to deal themselves the stress was too much and give them a Heart attacks. Also most men don't take care of themselves, withouth a woman, daugher, wife, sister or whatever telling them to go to the doctor, to check up or simple taking THEIR medicine they Will deteriorate and die

[@skromnyasha]

​@@LucilleDesmoulins I'm sorry but 💀 so unnecessary, such a drama queen

[@PandaHead602]

I believe this and woman who do stay single they still happy but the men they really really fall

[@j.munday7913]

My ex married a pick me, and he's miserable. >:) I feel bad for her though, and I hope she learns her value.

[@757Princess]

Saying the man gate keeps commitment means to move on if he’s not committing, not to audition for his attention!

[@07Flash11MRC]

Exactly. A man will always show you what you're in for and if he ever treats you or anyone else badly, know that you are not the exception and that's just wjo he is.

[@pixieinx]

Some people lack critical thinking and self reflection.

[@POSSIBLYHIGH]

@@pixieinxwell shit TILL how long bc it becomes embarrassing sis

[@mw7845]

Sometimes they act like they’re committed when they’re not though! Shit is tiring 😭

[@persephrotisv.2655]

@@07Flash11MRCwhew! Wish I read this with my ex

[@christacollins4078]

“The good men are offline, minding their business.” FACTS. My fiancé, who has made me feel more loved and supported than I have ever felt before, has no social media. When he is online he’s busy watching math videos. Not ranking or arguing with women in comment sections. Spoiled girlies, find a man who is not online. As a feminist I 100% recommend☺️

[@NatBKyiv]

Just like my husband

[@Nee3l]

Where did you meet? :)

[@meganlighthouse754]

"he's busy watching math videos" ❤️

[@BrooklynBaby100]

@@Nee3lyes tell us!!! 😅

[@OakwiseBecoming]

My husband has no social media. Although we met on Twitter 😂😂 but then we both saw how toxic social media was becoming and we each got off it independently.

[@avarosalia4309]

I remember the first time I met a divorcé woman she was my art teacher and I swear to God never have I ever met a happier woman in my lifetime. She was the first woman I met who broke that whole "divorced and bitter" stereotype men like to throw around to scare women into settling for crumbs. She had a son and lived a very happy life in her own house and one thing she told me was "my life started after my divorce from my husband" mind you she was only 6 months married when she said "naaaah boy bye". Never settle ladies!

[@DiMagnolia]

I love happily divorced women, they paved the way for me to leave my ab*sive marriage and become a happily divorced queen too ❤

[@coolbreeze5683]

Women divorce for solid, legitimate reasons but are gaslit by men into thinking their reasons aren't "good enough". They want us to hold the guilt, shame and sadness over things that men likely screwed up in the relationship. Once women get the nagging voice of their ex male partners out of their heads and understand their own power after a divorce or a split, they realize they are much better without men. This is the truth and what scares men. That's why they try to control the narrative by making women feel powerless without them. I used to work in senior care and when older women ask if I'm married or have kids, I proudly say no and I've had many of the women say "good, you seem too smart to have fallen into that trap" 😆

[@avarosalia4309]

Also something I forgot to add about her is she was so magnetic and she didn’t have a single bone of pick me in her body. She spent her time painting, drawing and gardening while teaching art to her students in her home. She really was a stark contrast to a lot of “happily married” women I met who look drained and miserable. I constantly think about her as a role model to follow once I get to that age. She really was so fabulous and a delight to be around.

[@coolbreeze5683]

@@avarosalia4309 I think a lot of "happily married women" are so used trying to please their husband, kids, etc. that their minds are always focused on them. The same way an addict's mind is always focused on something outside of themselves. When you learn to find that joy within yourself, you'll always have it. When you look for that joy in others, it can be taken away from you at any time, therefore you'll live a life of fear and anxiety trying to prevent that from happening.

[@BrooklynBaby100]

@@avarosalia4309wow that sounds amazing. ✨🦄🥹

[@MMAStriking]

A lot of men switch up after getting married. A great boyfriend doesn't guarantee a great husband/father.

[@laiatezenas3300]

True! That's why you get a prenup, and then divorce if they do that.

[@Rainbowssugar]

Yes! They’re idea of what a boyfriend does is different that what a husband does or in my case doesn’t do

[@Rainbowssugar]

@@laiatezenas3300but realistically how is that going to work? Money and assets sure, but domestic and emotional labor?

[@BekkaPoo]

That part. It happens a LOT.

[@dirtyprancing5930]

Idk, as someone who has been married, I’m man enough to admit he wasn’t a good boyfriend. I was always angry at him for being who he had always been, and that’s totally on me

[@bimmelbahnrider8396]

My colleague had a baby in November last year and last week at work for the first time. I already knew that her husband wasn't really helping out, but it was worse than I thought. He couldn't even prepare breakfast for his son. The mum has to get EVERYTHING ready for the day before she goes to work for the first time, and he was still complaining (he's on parental leave, by the way, because his son isn't used to him being around him yet and always acts like his dad is a stranger because he barely had any contact with his son in the months before). And it grinds my gears when another colleagues make excuses for him and say: ‘Maybe he didn't learn XYZ is at home because his mum was controlling some sh*t. Can we please stop making excuses for these grown as men!

[@AlyssaIrvine]

How many of us weren't taught something growing up and when we finally lived on our own we looked it up and learned. Time for men to do the same!!!

[@AyAReI00]

They NEVER want to learn either ... Weaponized incompetence

[@fleurosea]

I’ve found it’s important for women to step back and let men(or kids) struggle when they need to learn to do something for themselves. They are capable of learning/doing but when we sweep in and treat them like they’re incompetent we play into the problem - it might not be done your way but wanting it done ‘your way’ is being controlling & anxious. Doing something for someone else that they can do for themselves is stealing that opportunity from them.

[@fleurosea]

The mum in the example above should have let dad figure it out, but offered guidance & knowledge (if welcomed).

[@phenitagomes1292]

Seriously, can people stop making excuses for them. Ugh

[@missnatcula]

Buy a s** toy and stop giving it up to dusties. It ruins the pool for all of us. Not all men deserve a relationship.

[@irinaivanovic9792]

💯 Damn right.

[@savagesweetheart90]

The toy lasts longer anyway and men can't find the G spot even if it punches them in the face 🤣 🌹 For the win 😉

[@thecozyconstellation]

@@savagesweetheart90 love this comment lol

[@cooladultkidontheblock1882]

Maybe buy several. Lol

[@cooladultkidontheblock1882]

​@@savagesweetheart90 💯

[@---tc8km]

How much they have lied to us… The dream wedding The fairytale husband The bitter divorcé The lonely cat lady The tragic widow The “you will die alone” And how we believed every.single.thing when in reality, they were lying to us to keep us working and catering for them and to gate-keep our own happiness

[@njrom2975]

❤❤❤

[@iaf4454]

Exactly ❤❤❤

[@PraiseTheFSMonster]

It's awful and disturbing that they give a special name of "gatekeeping" to not wanting something inserted into your body at someone else's will. What the actual fck

[@AyAReI00]

Is weird isnt... I'm demisexual, i need a really really strong mental conection with someone before being able to feel sexual desire, thereford i'm not playing hard tk get, i simple don't get turn on if i don't make a conection first, is imposible for me to get laid with strangers .... I thought that was the case of Everybody hahahaha but no, some people can be sexually atracted to strangers and are willing to sleep with people the barely know ... Thats the issue, most men thing is a given and not sleeping with them RIGHT away is gatekeeping sex .... Like what ???? No buddy imjust want to know You first, You might be a weirdo, i want to know if i'm not sleeping a weirdo, the end.... Society done US wrong with sexual liberation, now men thing is not a Big deal to have sex, when it is !!!! And women always Lost in this transaction

[@tamiausten873]

​@@AyAReI00 I think I'm on this spectrum too. The only time I've had anything sexual with a guy, it was a friend in 2020, my neighbor in fact. I'm 2 months older, it started from massages to light fondling, top and bottom. But it was just surface stuff, I'm a virgin in the aspect of no penetration, as curious as I was, I couldn't go through with that. This dude begged until I stopped letting him go below my waist and finally stopped that kind of interaction between us. We were 19, unoccupied and curious, otherwise that would have never happened. Anytime I have a chance to date, sex has always made me say no to the whole thing, I'm not interested in that particular pressure (life is already a lot 😢)

[@TalkingWeirdStuff24]

This is pretty much how I feel about people (men and women) who are against things like taxes, social safety nets, and illegal immigration due to concerns (which are honestly not always unreasonable) about personal autonomy, but then think ab*rtion should be absolutely illegal no matter what.

[@TGP109]

@@AyAReI00 Yes, that used to be called ''normal'' in this over sexualized culture we live in now.

[@destroyraiden]

It's probably related to coverture cuz in coverture which we practice today in light and diet forms in the US basically makes a married woman a 4th limb to a male so this is how under coverture heavy they had the concept of marital rape not being a thing cuz she was his body and his womb so if he wanted it he got it so the gate keeping is coverture light respin on your suppose to be dead at marriage (hence you change your last name to his) and you are suppose to be his 4th limb and he owns his body so you can't say no, can't vote cuz he does, can't work cuz he does, can't get procedures cuz he doesn't want them and so on. Coverture needs to die in marriage, customs, societal norms and in all forms the unspoken 4th wingman to the patriarchy prop up!

[@damnitsme660]

Married men are also favorably promoted after marriages when compared to single men. You increase his value not just in the dating market but also the Job market. Never give low-value men any attention, they benefit from having a woman around, quite literally!

[@akinaneon-xz6oj]

That's actually true. Getting married in the military gets you a house and more money.

[@destroyraiden]

And as a mom you loose money they decrease your pay heavy for child 1 then a more for child 2 just so they can enact the males helping males code of make sure she can't leave his ass and they give him more money to help him get a side chick and maybe a side family.

[@BrooklynBaby100]

Can we be best friends!?! I was literally thinking that the other day. They GAIN SO MUCH!! They love parading around the idea that they are married, have a wife just to raise their respectability when truly their horrible husbands and don’t care for their kids! It’s a scam and fraud!

[@rattgod]

This is even true for unmarried couples expecting children. We aren’t technically married yet under the law, but my husband was given an increase in his pay, and his manager was very insistent to not let any other managers know. We both know she gave him the raise because we were expecting a baby, she’s a really good manager and sweet woman all around.

[@damnitsme660]

@@rattgod That's great to hear, we need more managers like your partner's! Hope you & baby are all good, best wishes. Parenthood ain't easy

[@lexilei9950]

I saw this one man completely fall apart after his wife had passed away. He was an older man and a lawyer. And also just a mean individual. Not pleasant to be around. But his wife really softened the blow because she was such a sweetheart. And apparently she also managed the home in such a way that once she passed he could not get it together. His credit started to fall behind cuz he couldn't keep up on his payments. And obviously nobody wanted to socialize with him because he no longer had his sweet wife around to soften the blow of his harsh personality. It was really sad to see

[@PraiseTheFSMonster]

Never feel sorry for a lawyer

[@livelystones7773]

His wife probably passed on early because she was absorbing all his negativity 😢

[@AyAReI00]

The reality is that people wanted to socialized with her, not him, sadly he was the +1 EVERYBODY had to accept ... Of course once the woman was no more, no one had any need to keep him around, they didnt like him !! ... I knew a couple just like that, she was adorable, sweet, cute and Nice, the dude was a bitter horrible man... No one like him cuz he was super unpleasant , i always asked myself how men like him handle to get wives .... Like how !!!! I bet thats yhe reason SO many men are so bitter now, they want wifes just the way old dudes used to have ... Almost a given, all men deserve wives Even if they really dont

[@sunnysnailshell962]

Wait, but normally it's the elder wife who passes away right after the elderly husband passes?

[@sunnysnailshell962]

​@@AyAReI00I mean, if her dad was mean, then yeah she would be attracted to a man like her dad.

[@lunatantri]

This reminds me of my mom, my dad loves her, adores her, spoils her and I once asked my dad, what do you get in return dad? And he said... girl, she is the return. she gave me 3 beautiful kids and she makes me happy, that's worth more than anything I could possibly give. That will be my standard from now on. I don't care if people call me daddy's little princess because I am!

[@iaf4454]

Your father deserves your mother, bc he fought for her.

[@IndyLux-y5x]

I loved this ❤❤❤ may God bless you all

[@rolling5520]

It's actually funny that we've convinced ourselves that the group who traditionally has to get on one knee and pull out an expensive ring is the one who gatekeeps commitment. Everything in a heteronormative proposal is about the man trying to convince the woman to get with him.

[@tuinfarto608]

But have also brainwashed women to believe otherwise and you perform for him to try to prove that you're marriageable.

[@LovelyLittleLillies]

Perhaps women gatekeeper marriages in that way. But it's kinda true,men gatekeep commitment (and I don't even mean end reault being marriage. It could be as simple as men only settling on situationships and refusing to become a boyfriend). It's like that phrase, You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink - you can't force a man to commit. If he doesn't want to, he won't. If he doesn't wanna become your boyfriend, your husband you'll never gonna manage to get him to do that. So in that way, they do gatekeeper commitment, especially if we're talking bout desirable men. Only the acerage man who doesn't get much luck with the ladies doesn't gatekeep commitment

[@dashaa6174]

​@@LovelyLittleLillies yeah....but i feel like you can say the same about women? We won't commit to just anyone

[@ni9274]

You cannot gatekeep marriage since you need the agreement of both. It simply depends on the situations, there is no general rules to who gatekeep marriage. Marriage is changing, most young people do not really care about traditions like buying rings or doing a proposal, for them it’s just a legal step they have to take to continue existing as a couple in American societty

[@jessicahitchens6926]

That made me laugh. Back in the day men had to petition the family to even get access to court the girl/woman. He would be vetted by the family and even officials in the village/town. Insane the nonsense that has been promoted for decades now. Lies and brainwashing.

[@MsBrooklyn11232]

Being a Pick Me doesn’t benefit you in the long run. Trust me, I used to be a Pick Me and I learned my lesson the hard way on NOT to be a Pick Me.

[@Criccedits22]

Same! I'm still working and healing from it tho.

[@ThePsychicClarinetist]

I concur as a recovering pick-me! 4 shitty ex-boyfriends later and 3 years of single celibacy, and I can say my time being willingly single and celibate has been the best part of my life so far! Don't fall for the shitty men anymore, ladies, we deserve better. 🧡

[@bm5_5_5]

@@ThePsychicClarinetist SAME. NEVER AGAIN ❤

[@aspyn.j_]

how do you stop being a pick-me if you never received much healthy outside validation growing up? genuinely curious.

[@ThePsychicClarinetist]

@@aspyn.j_ I can't speak for everyone, but as someone who didn't receive a lot of healthy validation, I can give you my view and how I'm moving past it. Disclaimer: This will be a long comment. Firstly, you have to recognize that the need/want for validation comes from within you. It's not only your current self - it's your inner child who didn't get their needs met. No matter at what age, it is the younger you craving what you never got. The source of lack may or may not be forgiven, and maybe you have cast blame on them. However, even though it sucks that you relied on people who could not provide what you needed or wanted, it's now your job as a growing person/adult to raise your inner child. It's not fair, but it's your best chance at fulfilling yourself. Next, you have to realize that relying on others for what they previously could not provide, especially if there's a lack of communication, is not healthy. Whether you choose to rely on others is up to you - personally, I wouldn't. Relying on others takes the power and control out of your hands. It's not unreasonable to want this from people but needing validation from someone other than you is risky and sometimes downright dangerous. You can't 100% predict what someone will do, and you can't control anybody else or force them to do anything. Who can you control the most? Yourself. If you want validation, the best source of it is yourself. Once you realize that, you will have no need for others to exist in your life when they cannot serve you in the way you need. Wanting people instead of needing them leads to having standards about who you allow in your life and control over whether they stay or go based on your values and experiences with them. To start growing, you will need to approach your insecurities and past hurts. Not only do you need to recognize these things, you also need to find solutions for your inner child and current self to overcome these past traumas so the scars can heal, scab over, and maybe even eventually disappear. This process isn't easy, but with your newfound trust, self-respect and self-love, you can approach past mistakes and past hurts - whether you or someone else was responsible for them - with forgiveness toward yourself and let go of what no longer serves you. Keep in mind, you don't have to go through this completely alone. Lean on trusted family and friends when necessary, and I highly suggest working with a therapist. (If the therapy doesn't help, it's likely not you, it's either the therapist or type of therapy that just doesn't work with you. Don't be afraid to try different kinds of therapies and talking with different therapists.) You must find the happiness in yourself. What people don't realize is that real relationships (not just romantic/sexual/intimate, but any relationship) isn't 50/50, it's 100/100. If you can't bring the entirety of yourself to care for yourself, you're not ready for a life partner. If you are going to be a pick-me, be a pick-me for YOURSELF. She (they?) needs someone who won't abandon her (them?), and that's you. Love yourself first, and the right people will find you. 🧡 I wish you the best. I'm not a therapist and I bet I missed some info, but that's what I've found to be the case for myself and my life so far. I hope it helps you too!

[@aprildawnsunshine4326]

It's true bad boyfriends make bad husbands, but far too often good boyfriends become bad husbands. It really depends on how long he can fake it for and some can do that for a very long time. Don't feel bad if you got fooled, just get out. Once you are it'll be easier to see all the others he fooled too and you'll realize you didn't make a bad judgement, he's just really good at lying.

[@rolling5520]

A reason they drop the mask is because they think that once you have that ring on your finger, you're basically granted, you become property, you'll have a harder time leaving.

[@jordane8526]

@@rolling5520because that’s literally what marriage was: ownership paperwork over women for domestic slavery. We weren’t allowed to work, we weren’t allowed to vote, we weren’t allowed to leave. Husbandry = the keeper of livestock. Marriage was meant for enslavement

[@pinkpugginz]

A lot of men drop the mask the second they get someone pregnant

[@DiMagnolia]

Yeah I got fooled very young but I’m very happily divorced ❤

[@marinacroy1338]

Even if you did make a bad judgement, it doesn't mean you deserve abuse. I've heard too many men justify domestic abuse with "well, she should have left after the first time he hit her. Its her fault for staying with him after that." You do not deserve to be abused, cheated on, or abandoned just because you gave someone the benefit of the doubt.

[@trivialhumor10]

omg, been there. the first guy I ever dated led me on for months, I invested so much emotionally and I had to force myself to pull away after literally losing my self-respect and begging him to stay. Not super proud of myself but glad that I learned from that experience. A year later this sad excuse of a man came crawling back and tried to get with me again, and I said, no thank you, never ever contact me again✨

[@07Flash11MRC]

I'm sorry you had to go through that, but you should be proud of yourself for learning from that lesson. Always remember: Girls and Women are the prize, not men and boys.

[@violets-for-roses]

Be proud of yourself and keep doing you. It can happen to the best, there's no point in living in regret forever. You woke up and that's all that matters. 🙌

[@rebeccasaltzburg5553]

Yes that's a huge accomplishment!!! You go!

[@violets-for-roses]

@zzzi222 On the next episode of: "If he coulda he woulda" 🍿💅

[@AyAReI00]

We also have to make clear that this man that comeback NEVER do cuz they learn from their mistakes and they love You and they want to cherrish You .... Thats what movies innthe 90s wanted You to believe .... If he comes back he loves You... No !!!!! He just simple couldnt find any other girl to abuse in the same degree, he needs NARCISSIST SUPPY FAST , thats why he came back, he still consider You a stupid girl to fools to get what he wants ....NEVER accept back a man who come back

[@alicec.6195]

The 👏🏻 good 👏🏻 men 👏🏻 are 👏🏻 offline 👏🏻

[@manifest2203]

Not all m4n offline are good.

[@jordane8526]

Are the mythical good men in the room with us rn

[@toscadonna]

The good men are in the cemetery.

[@egg5333]

@@toscadonna😂😂 screaming

[@Chrisia-Queens]

My brother is a good husband and provider. He doesn't have any social media except LinkedIn 😅

[@sweariefaerie9621]

I heard that my biological mother once begged her husband ON HER KNEES not to go to the bar WHILE SHE WAS FIGHTING CANCER! She's been gone more than a decade, but that incident still nauseates me to my core. I'd rather stop aliving before I beg a dude for *anything*.

[@chrystianaw8256]

😮😢

[@jessicahitchens6926]

He made her sick....along with the chemicals everywhere. Some men will kill you. Toxic to the core 💀

[@kristinmeyer489]

5:48 An analogy: Women today have become cheapened, as fast food to men. We need to let them know a gourmet meal costs more.

[@lauragiaquinto7903]

Love the analogy ❤🎉🎉🎉

[@kristinmeyer489]

@@lauragiaquinto7903 Thank you

[@MyriamRichardsdotter]

They gloated that they didn't need us when 1990s made 24/7 internet corn easy to access.

[@passthatcouture]

i would show up to a mans place as if they ordered food. never again!

[@NatBKyiv]

Terrible analogy. Call yourself fast food. Not other women

[@christelle9122]

Last year when I began watching your content, I just got out of an horrible relationship with a man who kept exhausting and devaluing me. He was truly awful, he made me cry a lot. I'm glad that I got out after only three months. It was such a nightmare. I met that guy on the internet. I quickly realized that he was not the good man he was preaching to be. Your ideas really helped me to get back on my feet. A couple of months later, I met a man at the annual celebration of my Parish. He took his time to get to know me with other friends. At the beginning of this year he asked me out. He's been taking good care of me since. Everything in my life (and in his life!) improved. He just proposed to me in Italy and I said YES. He's been helping me a lot. He fully trusts my vision. I've been the gatekeeper of everything. I set the rhythm and he perfectly adapts. Good men like these exist. They are such a blessing. I love him more every day.

[@brigitte9999]

I also have an amazing man. Better to be single and hold out for the “one.” Because the one brings true union.

[@AliceArnaud-zs8sq]

Congrats on the engagement !

[@christelle9122]

@@AliceArnaud-zs8sq Thank you ☺

[@mirianalajtman7728]

Wow! So happy for you! ♡ Hope it gets even better and better!

[@AlyssaIrvine]

❤❤❤

[@Saraht4]

I do not center men. I don't even think about them.

[@IndyLux-y5x]

same ❤

[@DEPUISEMENT2DISCOVER]

"Not all men", but enough men to the point where it's become a problem.

[@maijaelysian]

A Manifestelle video a day, keeps the dusties away. ✨

[@persephrotisv.2655]

❤

[@Jenna-vj2ju]

Love this

[@maryanne4594]

The mic on the spoon ✨

[@AlyssaIrvine]

🥄 😂 🎤

[@feliciajenkins5041]

Breakfast after filming 😂 she's saving steps

[@likemycommentifyouwantareply]

Cause she was about to eat!

[@islandliving8199]

This was the comment I was looking for

[@catcoffee7958]

Lol love it

[@intjmom919]

My friend is finally leaving her mentally abusive boyfriend that has been treating her awful for years. He is in princess energy and he genuinely thinks he's the prize and that she's lucky to be with him. He has shattered her confidence so that she's a shell of herself and it makes me so sad. I sent her a link to your channel and begged her to watch your videos to help her see the light. Ladies, YOU ARE THE PRIZE, accept nothing less.

[@chrysanthi_]

I don't understand why anyone would expect a shut-up ring in this society...

[@pinkpugginz]

So they can sell it when they leave

[@Mediagoddess4057]

I'll be so real, I left my husband a few weeks ago and the girlies here helped me make that choice. I've been married since I was 19 and I am now 27. I was married to a Man* and he just did nothing for me. I had no benefits of marriage other than double income, but even then he drank most of it away. I'm so ready to just not center men in my life. I have roommates that do more for me than my husband ever did. I'm tired of putting in all this effort for a man. I was tired of being with a man that acts like he hated me. It's funny how quickly everything has improved since I left.

[@lxveuwu417]

SLAY QUEEN GOD I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!

[@ClaireGreen-wd2gm]

Ahh. I was married at 20 and divorced at 28 so we have really similar timeline. Divorce for me felt like seeing the sun again for the first time in years after being stuck in a dark hole. Of course your ex will tell anyone who will listen that you left for nooooo reason at all

[@Mediagoddess4057]

@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm he won't tell anyone why I left! So many people have come to me and asked me why! The good part of that is I get to tell my part of the story! I feel like a new person. Like I was pretending to be someone else for years

[@Jada_RE]

Note to self: guys chronically online are self--selecting & a red flag dead giveaway 🧐

[@gingerlee726]

I've noticed that normal good men aren't online.

[@Remedy462]

Out of all these good comments, yours is the most accurate. Nobody should be chronically online, it is antisocial, obsessive, and paranoid behavior.

[@maomi1852]

I wonder when this "pick me audition" mentality start. I'm a 90s kid and I grew up thinking I had to change, bend over and polish myself to attract the best potential partner. I kept only getting losers (and by losers I mean gaslighting, narcissistic, liar, cheating losers) and couldn't understand why I wasn't "good enough". Why didn't the great guys (to me, kind, loyal, honest, and loving) pursue me? Why didn't I get lucky like some other women? I literally felt starved fo love (especially because I grew up in a toxic, abusive household (father cheater/alcohol*c/abus*d my mother physically/mentally/emotionally (both mother and father neglected me/weren't present/compared me with other people/made me feel worthless/demanded me to not like myself)))... Only now, on my 30s, have I finally understood that I need to love myself and be proud of myself and not expect anyone to fulfill only the bare minimum requirements. So girls, women, please... Value yourself. When you denigrate and put yourself down you will only attract men that wish to keep you in his abusive grip. Be free and be strong and if you never find THE man, let it be, because everyone else is losing. P.s. I am married now with a wonderful, amazing, loving, kind, fun, loyal, honest, compassionate, hard-working, responsible man that adores me like I'm a goddess. They are out there! But they will only show up when you rise your head and look up, knowing you're the prize!!!

[@iaf4454]

❤❤❤❤

[@and123_]

💯💯💯💯💯

[@토미-r3s]

I'm south korean and feel so much awakened as a women because of your podcasts! I just want to tell you your influence is international!! Love you elle🤍

[@h0neym00nl0ve0]

💪💗💗

[@octavia307]

My not caring about men's feelings was always a man magnet back when I was dating (married now), but I never had a problem saying NO. You have to be confident in yourself and know your worth. You can't feel bad about saying NO and rejecting the bad ones. So many women just want love any way they can get it. It's a recipe for heartbreak every time.

[@2stayweird]

Almost every man I know is SO sensitive to rejection and takes rejection SO personally; I often wonder if them ghosting us is just how their brains rationalize "I'm gonna get her before she gets me!" My ex and I had an open relationship; if a man rejected me I would just shrug it off; meanwhile, if a woman rejected him he would internalize and obsess over it for days. I think secretly man of them place a lot of their self-worth into what women think of them, then they try to Uno reverse and make it so WE place our self worth into THEM instead.

[@tuinfarto608]

That's true...if a guy can't get any play he feels valueless and projects everything to women. you see all the incels around.

[@coraillustrates]

It´s aweful! A few weeks ago I rejected a man who wanted to give a treat to my dog WITHOUT asking. I literally had to stop him by juming between my dog and him. I said "no, he has allergies I don´t like strangers giving him anything!" This dude got so pissed, he yelled at me "Thats not ok what you are doing!!" I don´t want to know what he would do getting rejected for a date. Be careful ladies

[@rebeccabelacqua7341]

They don't secretly place their self-worth into what women think of them, they not-so-secretly base their self-worth on how other men perceive them, and a big part of that is how many women they can have. It's a conquests and numbers game to them, they don't really care about the women involved, not at first

[@kimkeiko2725]

Why did you have an open relationship to begin with?

[@KatieLHall-fy1hw]

This is likely right. Then you have men saying they are more logical. They aren’t, but men and women wear their emotions differently, and the men have “othered” women forever because they can. Just like ghosting to protect themselves, because they can

[@Iam_Celene]

Someone always feels to always fly out of the phone booth with their cape on and say “NOT ALL!!!” We know that it’s not every single man but there is enough who are just dusty

[@AlyssaIrvine]

I love this 😂

[@sfheatherr]

So many cast clouds of dust

[@emilys9524]

Someone wrote NOT ALL MEN deserve a relationship!! not all men deserve marriage. not all men deserve children. throw that back at the meninists

[@missrebel634]

I have yet to hear „Not all women“ when they talk about gold diggers

[@hananecurious]

I heard somewhere a girl saying: not all men but enough for me to be scared

[@KarinaLicursi]

Stop accepting walking dates. Stop accepting Netflix and Chill. Stop saying yes to meeting at the last minute. Raise your standards, sisters!

[@mandisamoonz]

not everyone has money, walking dates are fun sometimes! a walk and a picnic. netflix and chill depends on if you want to fuck or want an actual relationship - obviously don't do if it's the latter!

[@criticalthinking9924]

@@mandisamoonz Not everyone has to date then.No money=no dates.That's why the dating market is in hell: women accept 50/50 dates or walking dates.The result? He can date multiple women like this and he grows entitled.

[@thezu9250]

@@mandisamoonz it’s a pretty bad strategy to try to pick up man on dating apps because most men don’t actually statistically satisfy women in the bedroom during hook ups. Women report higher bedroom satisfaction in relationships. So you’re essentially just exposing yourself to a dangerous situation by going to someone’s house that you just met for low odds.

[@taghazoutmoon5031]

Walking dates are great! I'm getting my exercise in, so not giving up on anything. Dinner would be so forced and boring and a waste of my time.

[@criticalthinking9924]

@@taghazoutmoon5031 Girl you do you but remember you must test for generosity early on. Men who are not generous extend this in other areas: bedroom,emotions,communication etc. Dinner is forced for me too.But i do it until i get data.I'd rather go walking with a dude that deserves me feeling relaxed.

[@kristinmeyer489]

Good men seem like they're in short supply, because they made this so, with their bro-pacts to use, debase, and abuse women, as a phony sign of one upsmanship in the club of being not a woman.

[@Starsongzz]

20:38 I blame the genre of movies that involve a woman “fixing” a terrible man and domesticating him. Not only that, but sometimes she’ll even have to endure his abuse in order to do it. I think it’s lead women to believe our job is to enhance a man’s life, fix/change him for the better, etc. But that’s no one’s job except a registered therapist. And we certainly don’t get paid for it.

[@queenie_2_0_2_4]

So true!! Some women unconsciously/ consciously think they can fix a man or jokingly say “I can fix him “ . We need to get out of that saviour complex and see the man for who he really is instead of his “potential” !!

[@TrocarQueen105]

The average widower doesn’t take care of himself. If he doesn’t have a new significant other or adult children willing to step into the role then his quality of life drops immensely. The generation being widowers right now doesn’t do daily laundry, make their doctor appointments, maintain social relationships (mom usually makes excuses for dad), or feed themselves healthy meals. Basic daily cleaning isn’t a skill they have or value. So they get grumpy, depressed, and die. The widows generally join a group, invest caregiver energy in the next generation, or find a new spouse to take care of to maintain their usual environment they’ve come to know. This is based on my experience in the mortuary industry so grain of salt. Men get second families because they aren’t involved. So true!

[@pinkpugginz]

Older divorced males will also seek out younger women to be their caregiver wife

[@jessicahitchens6926]

They want a nurse.... and they don't care if their wife dies. He is looking out for the next wife...I've heard some unbelievable stories in hospices/funeral homes etc. These are the opportunistic parasites

[@LoVeLIFE-ur8yd]

In our society the WEDDING is your CONSOLATION prize ladies. It’s to console you and distract you from the reality of what you are LOSING. After the wedding, you will GIVE everything while he GETS everything. Am I wrong?

[@manifest2203]

No you aren’t. That’s why for so many m4n their mask comes off.

[@anusingh2640]

Yep. In India, traditionally brides were unhappy on their wedding day, because they were being stripped from their childhood home and sent to live with some man they didn't know.

[@ShadowCatDreams]

100%

[@Remedy462]

Eh, weddings are stupid. I don't care to have one. Why prove your love for another to other people when you just need to prove your love to your partner? Plus they're expensive and everyone but the bride and groom seem to have fun.

[@destroyraiden]

the wedding is your funeral the paper work your tomb stone and your husband your grave as you become alien fused to him as his fourth limb for his benefit.

[@Lazyleaf0001]

Wake up bestie, the queen has posted ❤

[@Young4eva121]

Aw I didn’t know you posted! ❤

[@Minime669]

Finally

[@onetwo-lc2tb]

Blessed 🙏❤️

[@ShilgenVens]

Always put your dignity first ladies!

[@neutraliserjanine]

The truth. Always be confident that it is them that follow us around like puppies. That moment that the desperation gut feeling sink in to please a man, get away from that man. This causes high blood pressure and anxiety.

[@eski5084]

i don’t even date men and i watch elle as my way of maintaining confidence and love for myself ❤

[@didi7074]

Thank you for curing me from being a pick me, I still have a long way to go due to family trauma but I'm becoming better ❤

[@ShilgenVens]

I'm proud of you. It's always best to put your dignity first in every relationship! I hope you heal from the trauma and have a very happy life.

[@didi7074]

@@ShilgenVens Thank you! Yes I hope so too! Hopefully I will break my family curse: marrying a below minimum effort man who mistreat their women

[@ShilgenVens]

@@didi7074 Love yourself enough to know that you deserve better! 💕

[@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching]

🙌🏿

[@defiantlypinki1107]

I opted out of dating last year, and I’m not going back anytime soon. It’s easier to love and care for myself than get some guy to.

[@bougiepeaches5497]

I blocked this guy weeks ago because he decided to pull back because he wanted me to do more and he got nothing, but a block button and a delete button. I’m no longer a pick-me like I was when I was younger.

[@Nyuffykah]

They want too much because they are used to Pickmes...

[@RuchaNimbalkar]

❤

[@sliverscreen]

Don’t chase them, Replace them. 💅

[@Emmm-ii6tx]

Men I have met on dating apps ended up being total psychos and or the laziest daters ever.. guys who pursued me in person over time , were much more normal guys and normal healthy relationships . I was able to gauge their interactions in public with other people and strangers before we ever connected or he ever knew I noticed him , but online you have no clue what the guy is truly like when he doesn’t know you’re watching him, every date and interaction is perfectly crafted and you have no clue how he interacts with friends or colleagues etc are.

[@jessicahitchens6926]

You could meet good men years ago before the apps became prolific. They were usually the tech heads or abroad working /studying. Now you just have the dregs of society on them. Once it became mainstream.

[@lillyfire8524]

They say stuff like that and then cry about the “men’s loneliness epidemic” 🙄

[@mycupinpeace7227]

My ex husband was abusing me and humiliating me, and when I wanted divorce I was told by all how dare you give up the family , break the family , I was even told by my mother in low you are selling your family , I can relate to every single word in this episode

[@LoveLife-oo9cz]

Don't let anyone gaslight you, including your own family members. If they don't act in your best interests, then you don't own anyone any explanation at all. Any woman in any abused relationship should get out as soon as possible. Nobody can save you except yourself. You are not breaking the family. When your spouse abuses you, he is not honoring his vow as a decent human being, so you can leave anytime. I can tell you that in-laws are often strangers, doesn't matter how many decades you have known them, they are still strangers to you because I bet they don't see you as a daughter but an outsider. Especially when it comes to money, everything will get dirty.

[@Jenvlogs404]

@@LoveLife-oo9cz but still shows eIements and that gasIight

[@mycupinpeace7227]

@@LoveLife-oo9cz I totally agree

[@kammylichter]

"The good men are offline." I'm not so sure. People are more honest online, and men never had a problem being trash even before the internet existed. But I support the value yourselves bit.

[@no.6377]

Lol I kinda agree. "The worse ones are online" so at least you got a better pool offline🤔😅

[@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching]

I agree. Understand the secret societies of men exist and have done for centuries. Online/offline, my point is no guarantees you’re more than likely dealing with more enablers than you are “good” men. Period.

[@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke]

A man who does not use social media a lot is less likely to encounter misogynistic content such as Red Pill

[@quackquackduckii]

Yes exactly

[@jessicahitchens6926]

The younger girls don't get this. Anyone under 30... they think we lived in a magical fairyland where boys/men were tripping over themselves to ask us out. No they were not!! Didn't matter how good looking you were or in your youth. There are shitheads everywhere and users. Then the drink/club culture. You will not meet anyone seriously in that world.

[@kamifaye]

lessons from this vid: 1. if you have to audition, he's not the one 2. a man in your life should be making your life EASIER

[@pooscifer]

God my hopelessly pick me friend uses this line ALL. THE. TIME. She's like sort of half way into internalizing self esteem but her immediate instincts are pick me af and she won't stop dropping this line to justify why she keeps cleaning up after her weird bf who won't marry her and has TONSILS STONES and breath so disgusting she refuses to kiss him anymore. It's maddening.

[@popejaimie]

Not to defend that guy but tonsil stones just happen, it's not a reflection of someone's character, hygiene, anything like that lol.

[@pooscifer]

@@popejaimie You're more likely to get it if you have tonsils of a certain shape/texture which are conducive to trapping bacteria, but at root it's a bacterial issue (which also means that making out with someone who gets tonsil stones involves exposing yourself to pathogenic bacteria which in turn can affect you - WHICH HAPPENED TO HER. God the idea of getting sexually transmitted tonsil stones is like, insane to me).

[@popejaimie]

@@pooscifer yeah I mean I don't think that's true and I can't find anything that says it's a hygiene issue or contagious, so I'm not gonna change my mind based on your comment. Seems inaccurate to me. She was probably just also in her 20s, not infected by him.

[@pooscifer]

@@popejaimie Okay?

[@popejaimie]

@@pooscifer what?

[@rosiean9064]

I've never been a pickme and have never begged a man to stay. There's just too many men out there to choose from. I never lacked attention from men. Thank u, next ♡

[@tosarox770]

Dirty

[@R_S747]

Lucky for you 😭❤❤

[@rosiean9064]

​@@R_S747 you can have this mindset too 💕

[@R_S747]

@@rosiean9064 ❤️❤️

[@cliffordchie]

I love this channel. I can't express the gratitude. We need a separate spoiled girlies group to communicate and share ideas.

[@имбирныйчай-м7ы]

A Reddit thread maybe?

[@Dorinaaah]

Please make a video on virginity and bodycount controversyyy i love your videos, you are the only person that says what nobody sees in women's best interest.

[@harmony7838]

I second this

[@trebhum_]

This all reminds me of ballerina farm and how the husband there literally relishes the suffering of the wife... :(

[@plmitch]

😮

[@jelatinosa]

Ugh it's horrible and disgusting how smug he is that he trapped her and forces her to sacrifice her body and life for him

[@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching]

It’s disgraceful Stepford Wives 2.0

[@Passions5555]

Wasn't there a retraction on the whole article? I am so confused about the whole thing. I have never even heard of ballerina farms until this TIMES article went viral, only for a second to come out saying the first was misleading? What is going on?!

[@jelatinosa]

@@Passions5555 there was a retraction because her husband didn't like it and he has money and influence.

[@liasgreentea5555]

Girl, the lighting, the make up, the hair!! Its giving sea nymph ✨

[@sofiarangel1315]

Dating apps are trash. All of them.

[@kittenswithbows]

Using that spoon to hold the microphone - absolute power move

[@brunaamorim20]

Having a relationship with a man, and kids afterwards, is one of my objectives in life, but I prefer being alone than making my life harder by lowing my standards for a man*. I love my life and I’m sure I will be happy married or not

[@alwaysrootingfortheantihero123]

same, i won’t even entertain the idea of dating a guy if he won’t make good husband and father material

[@chhavisingh1528]

Its almost like they are the impurity 😂😂😂

[@sarahcox1197]

To be fair, discernment only goes so far. Men do often change for the worse, especially since the way we have set up relationships gives men every incentive to be entitled jerks. So many men are wonderful dates/boyfriends and turn into hellish husbands. So it IS lucky when a man turns down the entitlement handed to him and instead chooses empathy. Not enough men do that.

[@jordane8526]

Are people waking up to the fact that “not all men” still means most men? Like the r4pe stats alone aren’t enough of a fn hint

[@sarahcox1197]

@@jordane8526 I really, really hope so. 🙏

[@ImMarsh_]

Yep, very few decide not to selfishly exploit a contact that can oh so easily be exploited

[@Yellowstonervlogs]

They can pretend to be a good man for some time. Just make sure you fully vet them and spend enough time with them before it’s too late.

[@SharonBurc]

Yes. I’m still on the mend after vetting for about a year. Truly heartbreaking but learned so much.

[@jessicahitchens6926]

Your intuition should tell you... no vetting needed. You have an inbuilt radar to detect assholes.

[@hellokaumea8315]

Mariage is such a scam for women

[@alwaysrootingfortheantihero123]

i would argue that a bad marriage is a scam. if you’re a woman with a devoted husband who cares and provides for you then your life will get significantly better. marriage to a man who doesn’t care for you will make you miserable though.

[@nahplop2896]

I don't like the "you gatekeep everything" saying. Like, it takes two to be in a relationship and to be a team. So I prefer "everyone is their own gatekeeper" which doesn't diminish the partner's agency and still put the responsibility of choice in the addressed person's hand.

[@chilechi1846]

Those apps created more curses than blessings.

[@jordane8526]

You just noticed?

[@chilechi1846]

​@@jordane8526 Not at all. 😄Back in the day, circa 2000-2010, most customers used dating apps to genuinely seek out monogamous relationships. There was even a widely held belief that people who used them did so because they struggled to connect with people in real life. Dare I say it, but there was a tinge of pity for dating app users. However, when more people started using dating sites, the pity diminished, and the aim for seeking a romantic connection with another was less about monogamy and more about an unsafe route to experience orgasms with strangers. It's rather sad because humans are not only sexual beings.

[@chilechi1846]

@@jordane8526 Not at all. 😀 Back in the day, circa 2000-2010, most customers used dating apps to genuinely seek out monogamous relationships. There was even a widely held belief that people who used them did so because they struggled to connect with people in real life. Dare I say it, but there was a tinge of pity for dating app users. However, when more people started using dating sites, the pity diminished, and the aim for seeking a romantic connection with another was less about monogamy and more about an unsafe route to experience orgasms with strangers. It's rather sad because humans are not only sexual beings.

[@chilechi1846]

@@jordane8526 Not at all.😀 Back in the day, circa 2000-2010, most customers used dating apps to genuinely seek out monogamous relationships. There was even a widely held belief that people who used them did so because they struggled to connect with people in real life. Dare I say it, but there was a tinge of pity for dating app users. However, when more people started using dating sites, the pity diminished, and the aim for seeking a romantic connection with another was less about monogamy and more about an unsafe route to experience orgasms with strangers. It's rather sad because humans are not only sexual beings.

[@chilechi1846]

@@jordane8526 Not at all. 😀Back in the day, circa 2000-2010, most customers used dating apps to genuinely seek out monogamous relationships. There was even a widely held belief that people who used them did so because they struggled to connect with people in real life. Dare I say it, but there was a tinge of pity for dating app users. However, when more people started using dating sites, the pity diminished, and the aim for seeking a romantic connection with another was less about monogamy and more about an unsafe route to climax with strangers. It's rather sad.

[@HaleyMary]

There's something I've heard from teachers, that rejection is redirection. Often that is applied to being in the arts and dealing with rejection from roles, but I think we can apply the same advice to relationships. If we are rejected by someone, we are being redirected to someone better for us.

[@POSSIBLYHIGH]

If you have to sleep with the dude I hopes he’ll STAY or get you a dam ring HE IS NOT THE DAM ONE

[@animalsvillagelife]

Isn't that a player?

[@Alicia-rn8bg]

THIS!! Is all propaganda. A few years ago I was you know having my fun, not wanting a commited relationship, men where desperate to get me to commit to them. Women are the price, but if they sense that you have bought their bs "men gatekeep relationship bs " they're going to take advantage of you, that's why so important to never chase a man

[@noonereally4798]

Men don’t reject anyone, they just find new shiny objects, and than when that gets boring, or she gets rid of him, that’s when he’ll be back. .-. Rejection is not meeting their standards in first place, in which case he wouldn’t have ever talked to you, it’s not him getting distracted by something new.

[@ChelseaValentine]

its good that she makes these videos saying the things that all of us women are thinking but too scared to say!! period

[@DiMagnolia]

Due to external circumstances, my parents have had to live in different countries for two years. They FaceTime every day and my mom is finally gonna be able to move in with him again. During those two years in a new place my mom faced struggles but was mostly thriving, making new friends, working, going to therapy, her health improved significantly. Meanwhile my dad is living in his hometown where most of his family and some old friends live but he got super depressed and it heavily affected his health because he’s so dependent on my mom. I can only imagine how much he’d spiral if they got divorced or god forbid something happened to my mom.

[@jessicahitchens6926]

Women are the hearth of the home...

[@amy278]

I need help from women here. I liked a guy. We met(with the intention of not just meeting but i made it clear that i wouldn't have shmex as i wasn't comfortable. He respected the boundary so we just made out. I really liked him and i had known him for two years. Right after making out, we got cuddly and he pulled out his phone and showed me women whom he found "hot" . He proceeded to say "do not fall for me, you'd get hurt". This entire event was purely consensual. Yet I felt disgusted,used and abused. I wasnt casual smex but still it turned into smth casual and now i have insurmountable amount of guilt. I live with this guilt and I feel dirty. I do not know how to move on or to forget this. He reached out to me after that encounter, for "checking up-and-asking to meet for more fun. I said no. But idk how to move on from this guilt. I talked to my friend, one made fun of me, other blamed me for whworing around. So here I am writing this is in a comment section...how do i move past the guilt?i dont want it to keep weighing me down...this was my first kiss, first cuddle and first everything less than shmex but more than a just kiss) Hate him now.

[@IrisDel-qo8xi]

Girl,why are you blaming yourself? He wanted you only for fun ,and you refused to be his playtoy. I think it shows that you really respect yourself. We all make mistakes anyway And seriously those women are not your friends if they made fun of you .

[@malinasworld]

You did nothing wrong, and nothing disgusting. Any sin is completely his for ruining such an intimate moment. If anything you can find a silver lining in this revealing how awful your friends are. I hope you’re able to heal from that betrayal and find better friends.

[@malinasworld]

About this being so many of yours first: what you do with other people doesn’t matter as much as 1) how much you love yourself 2) what you do with the one who’s meant for you. So be kind to yourself. Don’t use what other people said and did to you as an excuse to hurt yourself more!

[@shouldistayorshouldigo9244]

You have to stop thinking about it. Don’t think about him, don’t talk to him anymore. I suggest blocking him and every time the guilt is coming you tell yourself that you made a mistake that made you learn a valuable lesson. A lesson that will make you smarter next time. And don’t forget you are valuable, this is just one event, nothing really important in the grand scheme of things. The guilt will pass with time if you try to not put yourself down.

[@audreywineland1426]

You did nothing wrong. Neither did he; he actually respected your boundaries and warned you off for good reason. Life is not a Disney movie. You will make mistakes. Dudes will make mistakes. You will learn better boundary setting that resonates with your authentic self as you go. Hook up culture makes it trickier for sure. Sending you best wishes going forward.

[@yourangel777]

I was single for almost 7 years, no talking to random dudes, never did one night stands, never installed dating apps. Then I bumped into my divine counterpart (who absolutely adores me) a grocery store in a different country. Good men are out there my ladies, they may be less in supply lol.. but the hope is there. Keep healing your traumas, shatter all the limiting beliefs that society has forced upon us, know your worth. ❤ Best of luck loves.

[@jessicahitchens6926]

You just moved location and energy. That's all.... or a major transit happened in your birth chart. It happens.. it happened to me a decade ago.

[@yourangel777]

@@jessicahitchens6926 That "Just moving" took a LOT of effort and work within. I don't come from a privileged background where flying to another country is just a piece of cake. My parents have seen the face of flights only once and that also when somebody else gave them the tickets. So yeah. I have shifted, you're right, that took healing, a lot of it. But thank you for sharing your experience.

[@staybcdefu]

God bless you for waking women up to their worth. I used to be so upset about not being valued even after pouring out all I could. now I understand I was just being victim to a deliberate market manipulation. at least now with the perspective ive gained thanks to Elle, I can see ending up single is not even close to being the worst case scenario.

[@ShilgenVens]

Stop referring to having a baby as "bear HIS children". Barf. They are not "his" they are yours.

[@Anon06428]

Agreed ngl

[@Anon06428]

They grow in woman, not man

[@takeonedaily]

Paternity fraud as high as 30%. fr they are not his lol

[@Jump-u2s]

That's the problem, why would you give birth and do all the labour and then continue with the lie that they're your children and you're responsible. Men need to be good, present fathers and take responsibility too.

[@alwaysrootingfortheantihero123]

they’re not one parent’s child, they are your (plural) children, not his or hers towels. both parents need to be invested

[@zanny.a]

EARLY BC THIS IS SO IMPORTANT! I just dumped someone over this 😮

[@akiinefaexperiencinglife]

Just paused the episode i am watching

[@kittenswithbows]

You're not just the gate keeper, you're the literal gate! Starting strong today 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@Neoncaffine9915]

Manifestelle, you changed my life forever. If it wasn’t for your videos, I wouldn’t be focusing my energy around myself and self improving myself. I would probably still be centering my life over men. Thank you for helping me snap out of that, just like how in the Barbie movie the protagonists snap the Barbie’s back to reality 😂. You are the best, thank you for your work

[@aohamer]

"You're the literal gate" 👏🏾👏🏾

[@onetwo-lc2tb]

Feels like Christmas every time Elle posts ❤️❤️❤️ i love our support group

[@ThePsychicClarinetist]

I think it's both hilarious and sad that men pretend they gatekeep commitment but then get confused when their girlfriend leaves them or they end up lonely again. If they truly gatekeep commitment, they would've had the foresight and power to hold themselves and their commitment with responsibility. "With great power comes great responsibility" yet it's usually women who work by this rule, because we're the ones who gatekeep commitment and see the value in it in the first place. I agree that dating apps are cesspools - I'm happily single and celibate (and have been for 3 years now) and never touching a dating app has done wonders for me even back when I was dating shitty men I knew IRL - at least I didn't have to slog through the online sludge too. As always, thank you, Elle! 🧡

[@libiya_sheikh]

the divine timing of this video❤

[@LovelyLittleLillies]

Hey Elle, can you do a vid on foreign pick me's defending passport bros in that space? And the rise of women from non western countries trying to "debunk" common assumptions made about them, completely ignoring the intent of why western women speak up, and in the process turning into foreign pickemishas. And maybe a vid on these dating agencies (for pretty much mail order brides) that are also getting involved in the discourse and defending passport bros, but are actively hurting the girls that use their services...

[@Canyoubemorepatientkllhhk]

I've been binge watching you. Omg. You are amazing! You've opened my eyes to my worldview 😢 it's kinda sad that I didn't know many of the things you said til now., but I'm greatful that I now do❤❤❤❤❤

[@zadira777]

Same!

[@Persephonesbookshop]

You're spitting facts as per usual- and your skin is so freaking radiant, it looks ethereal

[@theselfproject111]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 🙏🏻 MAKE A VIDEO ON WHAT HAPPENED IN KOLKATA HOSPITAL INDIA 🇮🇳. This has become such a problem in my country & victim blaming in grapes has been seriously played to this day to down women for being harass & shift the blame on us. THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE THIS. 🙏🏻

[@malinasworld]

This is definitely important but why would Elle cover any particular rape case? That’s not what her channel is about.

[@cliffordchie]

Yes that's not her vibe or vibe of the channel

[@Her844]

Same in Sri lanka 💔

[@KavyaSharma-et2vu]

This channel is not for that ..... Understand

[@midi6615]

Tell burbnboigie this story. She covers women's stories

[@valerieandherlifeofwonders2465]

I am so loving your hair in this vid, idk, you look extra gorgeous and effortless🖤🖤

[@livialopes5406]

a manifestelle video right on my birthday what an honor and what a privilege to be a ✨spoiled girlie✨ today 💖💖💖💖

[@rosiean9064]

Happy birthday 🎂 ♡

[@criticalthinking9924]

Happy birthday!

[@zadira777]

Happy birthday🎉

[@melodicharmoni3ss]

Happy Birthday🎊

[@AlyssaIrvine]

🎈 🌸 Happy Birthday 🎂 ❤

[@Rena_beena]

Not only that but the logic doesnt make sense because gatekeeping sex by default means you gatekeep commitment. Just dont have sex without commitment, thats all!

[@reneecrotty6910]

DO NOT SLEEP WITH THEM. This drives me up the wall. It comes down to that!! It’s that simple. Sleep with them too early and blame yourself. You are also contributing to making more men like this. Because you know this common knowledge. Even when he has committed to you, still wait it out a bit! Wait to see if he is srs. Basic knowledge

[@Nyuffykah]

It is the one ascpect I hate about being a woman. I like sex too, i just don't want it to be ONLY about that. But we have to pretend we don't want it, pushing him away. Until when?

[@animalsvillagelife]

​@@Nyuffykahmarriage.

[@jessicahitchens6926]

That strategy doesn't always work. Just have more options in the wings.

[@jessicahitchens6926]

You do what suits you. There are no rules in this world anymore. Certainly no GUARANTEES! Remember though you feel more and can bond far more than a man. There is always a risk for women. It's the cross we bear.

[@eustacianarcis9269]

Manifestelle is literally a big sister. i thank God for you so much! keep up with the videos 🥰

[@ThandoNdlovu-zr3ld]

Yes I wasn't expecting a video today but I'm so ready for it.

[@fishercourt]

Ladies if you drop everything for a man just because he promises to become a great husband and great father. Most men want a mom type girlfriend who does everything for them. How many men do their own laundry and make their own lunches? How many husbands do 50% of the chores? If it’s not 50%, then they are using you. Don’t allow men to act helpless and expect a wife to do everything for him, leaving no room for you to have your children and hobbies and interests. It’s your choice if you want to be your husband’s servant or their equal partner.

[@cathleenc6943]

Women who grow up in households where the adults have healthy relationships learn from a young age what that looks like, and so they grow up and are able to differentiate between a good person to marry and a bad person to marry. This is why it is so important to not stay in a bad relationship "for the sake of the children."

[@Dutiyf]

This girl could've been the worst serial killer and I would believe all the stuff she said. She's so sensible and

[@J_jewel91]

Your Skin Looks Sooooo Good

[@Kayleena68]

This calms me down. Been on the apps for a year now. I don't have to find someone, I will be okay. At least statistically 😁