The Rise of The “Cool Mom” 2.0 Today

[@trinaq]

"I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom!" It's crazy that Amy is only seven years older than her onscreen daughter Rachel in real life!

[@rafael8892]

And Rachel is 8 years older than Lindsey! (when they're supposed to share the same age)

[@Ashleymfranklin1990]

What I thought she was in her mid 40s

[@clairewillow6475]

@@Ashleymfranklin1990 I think she was like 36

[@IndigoBellyDance]

Hollywood thinks Only women under 30 r acceptable…. All older actresses r out to pasture 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@ZeldaMcFly]

Everything about her character makes perfect sense when you reimagine her as a young trophy wife step mom. Trying so hard to get Regina to like her like trading rooms, allowing her to drink, hyping up her inappropriate Halloween costume, etc

[@VeronicAM313]

Morticia Addams is my goal. She has a bond with her kids and still in love with her husband. I see a lot of people my age who seem to have lost their personality and instead focused on their kids and then stay in a relationship they hate because they don't want their kids to be sad. When it would have been better to break up.

[@Logitah]

She's a damn treasure! Funnily enough, some years ago my mum made me a Morticia Addams costume for Halloween. 😸 It's one of the most comfortable costumes I own and looks incredible! My mum is a wizard with her sewing machine! ❤

[@uglystupidloser]

Women keep the men around for the money. If women were financially independent, they would likely leave the relationship. Women got it tough. The world rests on their shoulders, and they usually get crap for it.

[@ayanomar1408]

Best mom model😂👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@notcompletelynormal]

Sure, studies show that kids with divorced parents tend to be less happy, but those same studies, show that kids with unhappily married parents have it worse. Parents who stay together “for the kids” are doing them a huge disservice. In a survey of kids of divorce literally 82% said they preferred divorce to their parents being unhappy. Parents are idiots who think their children are blind idiots.

[@trinaq]

Precisely, Charles Addams noted that there were a lot of unhappily married couples depicted in the media, and since the Addames were supposed to be abnormal and weird, decided that they should be happily married and wonderful parents by contrast.

[@ewoudzimmermanns8904]

i feel like the 'cool mom' is just the 'cool girl' in mom form, a impossibly beautiful woman that just does it all without looking stressed or even like a normal mom

[@Chris-rg6nm]

Also who do they blame for this one since you can't blame men?

[@emn2375]

@@Chris-rg6nm bro why are you so mad

[@emn2375]

@@Chris-rg6nm and uh…yeah…think about it. A perfect housewife who can do all the housework, work a job, raise her kids, and maintain her youthful beauty and humour, completely free of stress. Not something accurate to what mothers experience.

[@Chris-rg6nm]

@@emn2375 Sure but it's a trope women made for other women.

[@emn2375]

@@Chris-rg6nm Made by women? 🤔

[@jessieBird96]

The "Celebrity Moms" who use their children basically as marketing tools make me physically sick. Like, thats a child. A little person. That is not some tool to make you look wholesome and sweet, that is a little human being who may not appreciate being forced into the limelight as a toddler when they grow up.

[@EJ1443]

Or those celebrity parents who blur their kids face on Instagram but they still post photos of them and talk about them in interviews. Yet they also talk about protecting their kids privacy. 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

[@lemsip207]

@@EJ1443 And also take them out on nights out at awards ceremonies, night clubs and music festivals when they are still babies or toddlers but put those noise blocking head phones on them. They are not going to sleep even with those on because of the bright lights and they aren't in their comfortable beds at home.

[@semperfi818]

Exactly: child as celebrity woman's image trophy, with said child's inconvenient selfhood pushed off-camera, thus ignored, at least until said child begins to act out: then, cue the pious hand-wringing of conspicuously performative Concerned Motherhood, of course -- at least, until another, "perfect" photogenic infant may be brought on the scene to pull focus back to perfect-mom image and safely away from messy reality and conflict. Of course, since, even in 2022, fatherhood is still seen as a glamorous perk, all upside no matter how indifferently or toxically done, while motherhood is still supposed to be the core of the life of even the most accomplished woman...ah, _la plus que changé,_ as ever -- which is to say that I'd love to see a critical look at changing depictions of fatherhood on film, especially any cultural shifts in "cool dad" models. (Wait: you mean that Dad isn't automagically cool just because he provided 23 chromosomes while having a great time, then all but checked out? Amazing...😉😖🙄)

[@semperfi818]

@kshamwhizzle If modern social media were as pervasive and influential in the 1960s as they are presently, my mother would surely have found a way to trade her brainy, proto-gay, patently unwanted loner of a brown-eyed younger son, on the open-secret black market dealing in human spawn that would surely have sprung up in parallel behind the scenes, for the ostensibly adorable, simpering, conventionally pretty blue-eyed daughter she clearly felt cheated of when I was born. That said, life was tough enough for me then without my already toxic, covert-narcissist mother pimping her photogenically-primped sprogs for some nightmare 1960s version of Instagram and Facebook...but I still feel the very real pain of the kids who have become their narcissistic parents' ego props without havng been able to consent.

[@lemsip207]

@kshamwhizzle They are not boomer ass parents. They are parents born between 1945 and 1964. And the boomer generation isn't the only bad generation. Are millennials any better? No, they aren't. They are even worse.

[@inescastellano7960]

The “cool mum” is a rich mum. Working class mums can’t be cool because they work and take care of their children

[@TishB79]

Exactly

[@cristinarivera5707]

You really beat me to it! Most of these cool moms have money so they have time and resources.

[@alexisguiza9353]

So true. I'm a mom and I work and take care of my son. I'm tired most of the time and I don't have time for self care or to do extra fun stuff, because I'm always busy. The cool moms can afford day care, housekeepers, and spa days.

[@lemsip207]

Even if they didn't work they can't afford help with childcare and cleaning so won't have time to look after themselves. It's like watching an old Boots advert with a mother done up to the nines all the time even while vacuuming. It's one thing to dress like that for a night out but wearing those clothes all the time is expensive and uncomfortable.

[@icantthinkofagoodname1838]

Exactly. There is a level of privilege that is necessary to be that carefree cool mum. If you are worrying about putting food on the table, a roof over their heads and some education in their brains you are going to be a lot less carefree.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

I love Megan Fox's attitude in that interview! She's not letting anyone devalue her accomplishment

[@AlextheENTP]

YES! Or scoff at her for being a mother. I've really come to admire her so much.

[@alfiona7951]

Right? She didn't die or go to prison lol. She just wants to spend time with her kids.

[@jenchrollin6035]

Yea nowadays she’s doing all the devaluing herself

[@Love-yk2du]

@@jenchrollin6035 💯. She is just another Kardashian copycat, she came back 10 yrs later and she could've had such a good comeback yet here she is yet again being a shallow wannabe.

[@bennyton2560]

WTH is with the misogynists in this thread. Go off if you don't like it

[@ubermut1379]

Well... I guess being a good mom would be easier if we expected more from men and if we had more support structures. Financial support, health care, a social safety net, housing... But also, we need child care, good education. Family leave. We also need laws that support young families. Governments often act like they care about families and children, but in practice they make it easier for mothers to be exploited. Single moms are among the groups with the highest poverty risk. Why do governments try decide whether or not a woman can decide to have children or not, but don't support those who already have them? Why do so many fathers get away with not paying child support? Why do we place so much responsibility on the nuclear family, don't provide enough support structures and yet aren't ready to move on from this failing vision? A modern mother more often than not has to have a job, take care of the household and children, is expected to be an attentive wife and have a vibrant social life. How is this supposed to be possible?

[@suoutubez19]

This is the best comment on here! So many good questions that nobody has the answer to. Everyone is obsessed with the “abortion issue” but forgets that childcare is more than just that.

[@alyssayork8654]

You said it all!!

[@CaitMcKi]

I think that sometimes it's "beneficial" (and I understand the irony of that term here) for the system to force women to have children, and not be able to support them. As an example I'm thinking of America, which makes money off sick people (privatized healthcare system), and those who wind up in prison (free labour/slavery), and kids who end up sex trafficked. I think that in some aspects, not only are people in power not incentivized to put these system supports in place, they're actually benefitting from them not being present. I think they want to consume a portion of the population.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

I recommend The Mommy Myth to you

[@27p16and41p666]

Yes we have a 3 year paid maternity leave in Czech rep. Never could have made it without these benefits. We can calmly stay with the kids at home and the employer must take us back after those years. Astronomicly helps to child development

[@maggierobertson2962]

Being present and "just being there" for you kids still represents a massive sacrifice of self.

[@sakuranovaryan9261]

Yes it does... probably a huge support for the kids

[@sakuranovaryan9261]

They grow up feeling safe.

[@elisamaza8909]

I feel like that "gone girl" monologue is used in every video of "the take" ^^

[@melodyclark1944]

Isn't it great?

[@lstarsabb]

yep anytime the there is a take on type of women 😂😂😂😂

[@sortasofi254]

and we love to see it

[@samf.s.7731]

Being a mom is so hard, I actually never want to be one. It is mostly the fear that I wouldn't be perfect and that's gonna hurt my kids. I have parents who weren't good, weren't good at all, and the fact that so many people think it's something you can put on "autopilot" is SO WRONG. Your kids will remember when you sucked, or when you hurt them, and no, they won't "thank you" as adults. Edit: Granted, by no means were they "bad parents", they just didn't know how to parent. Like I said, it's not an automated process, and I felt pretty much like a doormat since they were really harsh on me.

[@Pink_pr1ncess]

I’m 17 years old and I’ve already convinced myself that I’m never having children. Especially since I’m the oldest in my family and I’ve witnessed the hardships my mother went through for me all by herself has scared me into not wanting my own family.

[@kadesmith3054]

The moment you become a parent is the moment you become a hypocrite

[@MechaJutaro]

My own mother was deeply imperfect, yet she still taught me many valuable skills. I was the only kid in third grade who could not only spell the word cunnilingus, but perform the act itself dexterously enough to hustle oxy out of the school nurse. I was well versed in two in the pink, one in the stink, at a time when most of my classmates though the other ones had cooties

[@daphnebanks6493]

@@MechaJutaro what??? This went south faster than I expected

[@GiveHerFlowers]

I can relate when you say your parents weren’t bad but just didn’t do a good job. There is no manual and you are right; it’s hard. I don’t want the responsibility of someone’s whole mental foundation in my hands. Nope. I’m still in therapy trying to reparent my fearful avoidant attachment style thanks to my unstable upbringing.

[@delusionalmilkshake]

I would disagree with regina's mom being bad for saying she rather have them drink at home. That was really responsible of her when you think about it. If girls wanted to try alchohol it was better to do it under adult supervision than somewhere else with other kids.

[@dtucker241]

This was the decision my, not particularly cool, parents made. They let me experiment at home so that I learned my limits where I was safe. The only rules were that I never hide it, never left home after drinking, and that I never drank anywhere outside the home. Definitely kept alcohol from having that forbidden glow to it, so I didn't go out drinking and getting myself in trouble as a teenager. Why would I when I could already drink at home and knew it wasn't that big of a deal?

[@HolandaChiquita]

Yeah, but offering it to a child that was clearly worried and shocked by the possibility of drinking alcohol, is not so responsible... But true. My parents also made sure drinking was done under supervision when the legal age in my country was 16. They still check my siblings who are currently over 18.

[@Polly-dl7bu]

I think it's moreso the fact that she offered alcohol to children that were not hers. But she was still right and willing to take responsibility. And offering her daughter condoms is also amazing. She did it in a stupidly invasive way, but still wanted her daughter to be safe. The intentions are there with Regina's mother

[@delusionalmilkshake]

@RUR omg, I never thought about that, who knew kids listens all the time to their parents, especially teenagers 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Joke aside, I do get your point, but it is not possible. Especially not with teenagers who at that age often want to rebel parents. Just so you know, from personal experience, the more you control your kids and forbidden certain things, the more likely they would want to do that. Sooo offering a teenager alcohol in safe and controlling environment is better choice than just telling them not to drink.

[@miacarvalho8732]

Yeah, but that only works if she actually draw a line for them not to cross. She doesnt

[@ashleightompkins3200]

Can we get a video about the child parent? Where the oldest sibling has to become the parent of their younger siblings because the parent is absent/abusive/too busy working.

[@fernandaa7334]

Or the parent is a cool mom 😹

[@trinaq]

That's true, there could be the Wacky Parent, Serious Child, where the parent is more free-spirited, compared to the more responsible child, like Lorelai and Rory Gilmore.

[@Annsu2017]

Are you talking about me?

[@lemsip207]

@@trinaq And in Desperate Housewives with Susan and her daughter.

[@unityedits3722]

"Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop" Edit: come to find out, Luisa is the MIDDLE CHILD, AND I NEED TO SIT DOWN FOR A MINUTE

[@PokhrajRoy.]

‘Stepmom’ was the first time you saw a biological mother being flawed. It’s such a beautiful movie!

[@MechaJutaro]

Piper Laurie was Sissy Spacek's biological mother in Carrie, was she not?

[@armygirl85fuckhitler74]

Such a good movie!!!!!

[@Rayscraz]

I think the biggest problem with the "cool mom" is it focuses more on other people thinking she's cool and doesn't seem to particularly care whether or not it's good for kids

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

The validation from her children seems particularly important, and appears to be directly connected to her self-esteem as a woman. Basically, if she's not still young in her children's eyes, it's some how tied to her lack of self-worth in the greater social world.

[@Rayscraz]

@@GenerationNextNextNext well yeah but also that's still selfish? She doesn't care how her behaviour accepts her child in the long run, only needing validation that she's "cool" which the child is likely to lie about under pressure

[@jojothebard6687]

Johanna, from the show Hilda, is an unironically positive cool mom done right. Not only does she give a ton of freedom for her daughter, but even at times helping Hilda in her numerous adventures, whether to be a helper or even as a foil. She keeps a balance as a Graphic designer and an awesome single parent. She isn’t trying to be cool and hip, Johanna *is* already cool and hip. But she’s not perfect, her parenting skills aren’t refined, even at times debatable, Johanna always keeps a kind, loving and empathic relationship with Hilda.

[@sapphic.flower]

I love Hilda and her and her mom's relationship was so well written. I love how she lets her kid explore but still puts her foot down when Hilda gets reckless and doesn't communicate with her properly, even when it makes her kid look down on her.

[@pastelcloudpainter]

I really love Hilda's relationship with her mother and how the show (especially during the second series) doesn't ignore the stress that Hilda's magicial adventures cause Johanna,. For that reason their relationship feels realistic even in the midst of a fantasy show.

[@matiassanchez1362]

If I'm being honest, I think is one of the best mother-daughter relationships in cartoons

[@violaghiringhelli5698]

And she lets her daughter keep magical creatures (Alfur, Twig and Tontu)

[@jojothebard6687]

@@matiassanchez1362 Honestly I would go further than that. I think She’s one of the best moms in fiction. No hyperbole.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Jamie Lee Curtis in ‘Freaky Friday’ was a Master class in Acting.

[@mohdkhairul9701]

"Make good choices"

[@angiea9620]

Underrated opinion, but I think Lindsay Lohan’s best acting in any of her movies was done in Freaky Friday.

[@VereskVeil]

@@angiea9620 i agree

[@sekaitherborn3618]

I loved the video. Something is often missing form this kind of conversation, aside of class. The other parent. It looks like everything is relying on the mother's shoulders, while they are still expected to be hot for their husbands and society's gaze in general. Once you fall out of the treadmill you fall in the sexless desexualised madonna figure. The problem is that women and mothers are not seen as full fledged human beings and you are either seen as a sexy desirable thing until a certain age, or a desexualised mother, or a waist of space if you are neither young nor a mom. And if you don't have enough money to get some help and/or a partner who reallly is a parenting partner and not just there to do the cool stuff, it just looks like hell.

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

Ooh! I knew I felt something was missing. Just had a conversation with a "man", if you can call him that, who stated that once women have children, they "lose their value". He'd been listening to Kevin Scamuels too long. 🙄To be honest, this desire to be "cool" stems from us allowing young people and men to dictate what is best about and for women. If we aren't cool to young people or attractive to men, somehow we're supposed to feel worthless as women.

[@dreamyanon5151]

@@GenerationNextNextNext exactly. While being neglectful of your kids or showing them off for ego is toxic; some aspects of the cool mom aren't bad because women see their lives as over once they reach parenthood age and that can be a very devastating expectation that maybe we shouldn't have. Why do women, and only women, have to sacrifice their lives for motherhood? Isn't it okay for them to still invest in their looks and themselves (while not neglecting their kids) if they can? Motherhood can feel very restrictive and it can feel awful to loose your identity. I wish that was talked about more than the conversation being split between the traditional mom and moms who just want to be seen as cool.

[@dreamyanon5151]

@Sekai Therborn THIS COMMENT IS EXACTLY WHAT WAS MISSING FROM THE CONVERSATION. It is perfect.

[@jeremyjub9147]

Where the hell do people find these partners, though?!

[@sadie9728]

Me to my teenager: "am I a cool mom?" Teenager: "lol no ur a nerd" Parenting win, I'd say.

[@queenemma5823]

Then you’re doing something right. IMO, often times being a “cool mom” equals being your kid’s best friend, which is a very slippery slope. You shouldn’t be your kid’s friend, you’re their parent. You have a duty to keep them safe. Yes, you can have fun with them and spend time together, but when it comes time to discipline them, a kid’s friend doesn’t necessarily do that.

[@Pink_pr1ncess]

@@queenemma5823 Parents who befriend their children are the same parents who’ll defend their child even if they’re in the wrong (ie bullying, domestic violence, etc)

[@sadie9728]

I'm also just a giant nerd.

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

What I think is so often strange is how our society allows the "kids" to decide who is cool, putting more value on the minds of the youthful and innocent, the new and novel, and less on wisdom, age, and growth. When did society start allowing kids to pick who is cool?

[@sadie9728]

They're literally the next generation though. Are you honestly suggesting we allow the older generation to determine trends? 😂 no thank you! Can you imagine? Yeah boomers really knew how to have a good time. I'll leave it to the kids because we had our chance, that's how it works. My kid thinks I'm a nerd because I'm a Trekkie, a gamer, a filmophile, love anime and collect monster high dolls. And guess what? Millennials made that cool after me growing up being ridiculed by my peers so hey. That's nice. As Ben in Parks and Rec reminded us: being a nerd is mainstream now so just the act of mocking it means you're out of the zeitgeist. When I told my kid that he called me a geek.

[@PointSoldiers]

Not sure I agree with the assessment of Regina George's mum. Particularly about 'do you want alcohol because I'd prefer you drink in the house' - I feel this shows that she understands the culture and pressures teenagers are under and instead of outright banning the activity, which she knows will happen anyway, she offers a safe location where they can experiment under adult supervision. This also reduces the 'rebellious' factor of alcohol. And by asking her daughter what's the goss, and then leaving when she tells her to go, she is trying to find out about her daughter's life without being intrusive and pushy. Her angle is different to Cady's mum's angle, which is the more traditional 'sit around the dinner table and talk about your day', but when has that angle ever worked on a teenager who doesn't want to talk? And the scene where she offers a condom - unorthodox, but again she's facilitating a safe environment for her daughter to do teenage things in, and is checking everything is okay and consensual. Having a mother who she knows will instantly help her with safe sex and birth control is a massive positive for Regina. She's being a 'cool mum' but she's also being a good mum. It feels a bit reductive and misogynistic to paint her method of motherhood as trying to live through her daughters and be young forever. I don't think she's avoiding responsibility, she's approaching it from an angle that one could argue has more chance of success. She's realistic about the choices teenagers make, not expecting them to make adult decisions when they're not adults. And makes sure that when they make teenage decisions, they're safe.

[@AD-eg9cw]

This is a criminally underrated comment. This style of parenting may seem taboo, but it is the most realistic approach. I would have been spared a lot of trauma if I could have just had a couple of beers with friends in the safety of my own home.

[@KittySnicker]

AGREED

[@kyris66]

Yes! And there was no judgement, either. It was played for laughs but I genuinely thought that her parenting was very much geared towards the safety and well-being of her children above all else.

[@renata8979]

And yet her daughter is not some kind of "Elle Woods", she is a cruel, vindictive bully. I'm pretty sure Regina's Mom is perfectly aware of the nature of her daughter's friendships, "Burn book", her eating issues (throughout the movie Regina is busy loosing weight), all the nasty stuff and has no problem with any of it. So purely technically she might be doing the right things, but it is all pointless because none of it really benefits her daughter in any meaningful way.

[@Imjusthereforkicks]

Rewatching this video because I’m now parenting a teen. I’d be livid if another mom took it upon herself to offer my daughter alcohol.

[@sarahtobore2832]

I'm so glad Julieta Madrigal got a shout-out 💯 Being a mother is a thankless job, and very unglamorous a lot of times. Mums spend their lives keeping us safe, loving us, comforting us, all at great sacrifice to themselves. I only hope that I can be that to my child.

[@lucypreece7581]

What made me sad was when my mum divorced my dad and also got made redundant from her job she realised that she had lost a lot of her identity. By this point my brother and I were older. She was still our mum but we didn't need her to be a mum to us anymore as we were stepping out into the world and becoming our own people. I was in my late teens, my brother was in his early 20's. She felt a little lost. She then made a decision to do something for her. She went back to university and did a history degree. I feel like mothers need to maintain some of their own agency and identity. Yes you are responsible for looking after and caring for these other humans who look up to you and rely on you but one of the best lessons to teach them is to always be really true to yourself and to always do things in life that bring you joy and fulfilment even if those things take you away from your family or your partner for an hour or two.

[@witchplease9695]

The cool mom is any mom that’s true to herself, confident in her womanhood and good to her family. Aunt Viv, Morticia Addams, and Helen Parr (Incredibles) are my favorite Mom characters.

[@witchplease9695]

I’d also like to add Julie Andrews character from Princess Diaries, but thats more like cool grandma

[@kadesmith3054]

I hope you mean the first Aunt Viv 😂

[@witchplease9695]

@@kadesmith3054 that’s the only one I know.

[@ربیعہجمیل-ح5ع]

Morticia Addams is(was ,don't know what to say) truly amazing

[@anapaulagamezdelvalle7239]

Another presure for moms, cool and not cool is to stay pretty, to stay thin, to not have saggy boobs. For moms that give birth this is so intense and toxic as you give so much of your body in pregnancy and in breastfeeding.

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

I've never been cool, so of course I was not a cool mom. My son hated that about me when he was living with me. But now as an adult, he can cook and clean, having learned that with me, and really appreciates it. His friends who grew up with cool parents are helpless.

[@alejandrasoto-deltoro5125]

a bit of a condescending comment

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

@@alejandrasoto-deltoro5125 How is it condescending when I'm being honest?

[@charlee_hotel]

I have my moments. I can go from _cool mom_ (eg. playing video games with my son, teaching him to play volleyball), to showing him how to do chores (eg. he cleans his own room, he does most of his laundry with little supervision except dispersing detergent). There is a balance. Being a mother isn't a dichotomy of _cool mom_ vs. dictator mom.

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

@@charlee_hotel Yeah. I try not to be like my mom, who ruled with fear. I try to go more for respect.

[@deborahblackvideoediting8697]

The "Celebrity Moms" are utterly clueless about how truly challenging it can be to be a regular" mom. 11:00 - Look how clean the kitchen is. Do you know any moms who have a kitchen that clean? (Unless they're expecting company.) It's a big kitchen, it would take a long time to clean. She didn't clean that kitchen, nor will she clean up after she's finished filming. Look at her make-up and hair. That's serious make-up and hair, we're talking 1.5 to 2 hours to do. Ha, ha, ha, what regular mom has that kind of time? She may have picked out the clothing they're wearing, but she didn't launder it. When you don't have to cook meals, vacuum, dust, do laundry, purchase your own groceries, rush to pick your kids up from school, have to skip showering because you're so busy, and a million other things, it's easy to make look oh-so-easy. And of course, there's no financial pressure for these people - one of the most awful, stressful things that a lot of every day moms have to deal with. I can only hope that after they're done filming, she plays with her little girl for a while instead of passing her to a nanny and flitting off to her next scheduled appointment. To be clear, I'm not against wealthy celebrities having children (as long as they're good parents), what really drives me crazy is how they try to make it all look so easy. They're selling a non-real lifestyle, and people just keep buying it.

[@reneehunt5590]

Modern Princesses vs Modern Queens in media. Definitions and past depictions, how the troupes evolved to the modern era, the strengths/ weaknesses of both, and how women can transition between the two once we enter adulthood. Love you guys!

[@liv-tribe-hustle7678]

i would loveeee to see this

[@anapaulagamezdelvalle7239]

Also, can we talk about how much mothers criticize each other and judge eachother? I'm so new at this motherhood thing and I can see how judgy I am and how much judgement (as well intended as my mother in laws or my friends, or my cousins comment my be). How do we stop?

[@gsandau]

So true... even if it's just pressure to be like the Instagram moms. It's easy to perform for the camera, but I don't think it should lead to young mothers feeling like they're not up to snuff.

[@shazzari]

From one mom to others, the craziest thing is just when you think you have this parenting thing down, you are reminded of how wrong you are. I’m learning to constantly adjust my parenting as my son grows from my little baby into a man.

[@NoelRose2912]

Im 24 and my mom is 20 years older than me. I would say her parenting style was exactly "authoritative" and you know what? I think she did a great job. When i was young she was stern, but never overreactive. She had behavioral expectations for me, which she laid out very plainly, encouraged them by giving me quiet activities to do (coloring, reading, etc) and enforced them with rewards (be good on the grocery trip, you get a candy at the end). She was consistent. She and my stepdad discussed things with me liberally and in age appropriate ways as they came up. I got a comprehensive sex talk (about setting boundaries and being responsible, ie birth control) from both of them when i was a teen. They used the news to start important conversations with me, like whenever theyd talk about cyberbullying or other things. I felt like i could always predict how theyd react to things, so talking to them about the hard stuff was never hard. Now as an adult, i have a great relationship with them. Weve moved into acting like peers (they are definitely still my mentors though) and it was a very natural transition during my time in college. Weve had rocky patches, but the lines of communication never closed. I dont think i could have asked for better.

[@MarianaBuhl3]

I can relate. My mom and father figure (grandfather) did the exact same thing and my grandma on my mother’s side went into it as well, respecting this approach even though it was different from how they raised my mom. And I honestly think that if I have children I would do the exact same thing (of course with some variations based on my personal approach or experiences) but when I got to the point of being aware of all the raising work they did and how they did it, I said to them “with my heart in my hand I couldn’t thank you enough, you’ve done an amazing job as parents and I thank you so much for it for it, I admire you guys.”

[@alh9569]

The point being made at 11:28 is a very important one that can be further explained. Individualist thinking and American exceptionalism are two factors that likely contribute to celebrities dismissing the importance that outsourcing domestic labor and childcare has on their careers. Socially speaking, one of the worst things that a person can admit in America is that they need help or have used help of any kind during their ascent to affluence. Individualism overlooks how community (or lack thereof) can make or break a person's outcome in life. American exceptionalism serves to mythologize the life stories of those people that gain affluence (which further clouds how their prosperity was attainable to what was around them. Combining the two is why the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality stigmatizes any acknowledgment or discussion on how every person uses some type of assistance to be successful. That is also why successful Americans are branded as "self-made". Which implies that there was no help used whatsoever in that person's success story. It also explains why America rejects social safety nets and for the few that remain function to dehumanize or demonize people that are in dire need of social safety nets to survive.

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

American society will label women at fault for "choosing to be mothers" if they even show that they struggle and need assistance. It's probably American exceptionalism, but also a "survival of the fittest" mentality, brought down from a very strong patriarchal system, that makes Americans avoid acting like they sought help. Any person who makes a choice, even the choice to parent, is made responsible for it, and no one is obligated to help them and shouldn't even be expected to. That's the "American" way of thinking, apparently.

[@alh9569]

@@GenerationNextNextNext Yes. Survival of the fittest being social darwinist thinking. Essentially, Americans have an empathy gap that leads them to having little to no compassion.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Regina’s mom in ‘Mean Girls’ was just so funny 😂

[@Love-yk2du]

She was probably the reason why Regina was the way she was.. A mean girl.

[@pigpjs]

The coolest thing my mom ever said was, "If you're not comfortable in a situation with other people, you can make me the bad guy." Having that out of, "I can't, my mom would kill me." Kept me safe and let me know she had my back.

[@Imjusthereforkicks]

That’s awesome advice! Going to use that with my daughter 🤗

[@MarianaBuhl3]

My mom used to say this to me too☺️ The feeling of that “safety net” was invaluable

[@m3rrys0ngstr3ss]

The way I see it is that if someone *thinks* I'm cool as a mom, I'll accept the compliment, but it's not what I'm striving for. I have enough anxiety I deal with anyway without trying to be cool or extra fashionable.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

‘I Don’t Know How She Does It’ had a brilliant commentary on mom guilt and Two-Income Households.

[@damaskito]

Yeah, but it still blamed her for being too obsessed with her to do list. As if the solution was to live one day at a time, and not for her partner to step up and actually be a father.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

@@damaskito Sorry I didn’t see your point earlier but it’s a very good point.

[@readilykatie8312]

Kylie using her daughter to make $$$ is gross, it’s going to affect her development so much.

[@louisachalarca6494]

Kris using Kylie clearly affects her immensely

[@SaraofHades]

It seems like she treats her daughter like a doll or pet

[@shittymcrvids3119]

Exploiting your kids on media is a family tradition lol

[@LOVEBABY138]

@@SaraofHades Who call their kid a stormy? I thougt it was a New pokemon when i first heard this name

[@kayalvizhi7611]

She was raised the same way & yet she’s the closest out of all of the sisters to Kris. Kris let her be groomed by Tyga when she was a minor & allowed for such drastic alterations of her body. Makes sense considering I remember Kris constantly showing herself getting surgeries in the earlier seasons & wanting to get her ear lobes done at one point. Kylie has also said that she hopes stormi sees her the way she sees Kris someday so I feel like it’s inevitable for her kids to be exploited for money, especially using their physical appearances.

[@suzanned5859]

The worst part about being a mom is that you are bound to fail at being as good as you want and need to be for the people you love the most, your kids. It is literally the best and most important and most heartbreaking and gratifying thing you will do in your entire life.

[@Love-yk2du]

Describing motherhood "The best and the most important thing to do in life" Is why women feel pressured to do that because they are sold this dream. Putting "heartbreaking and gratifying" together in one sentence itself creats so much chaos in the mental state for a person to be truthfully clear of their own feelings.

[@not-a-ghost2206]

one thing my therapist told me, cause i was afraid of being a parent (in the future, not happening). we will make mistakes, because we are human and the world is ever changing. the biggest thing you can do is owning up and apologize.

[@oooh19]

Many parents compare their kids to others so you become resentful and envious and jealous of those kids your parents want you to be

[@atomickitten6741]

Emily Ratajkowski « holding » her baby like a prop is the first image that comes to my mind when I think of a « cool mom ». Chills.

[@stephaniemcdowell1010]

I was gonna say "where the hell is Morticia!?" and then she was featured. Now I'm happy lol

[@icantthinkofagoodname1838]

This reminds me of the Bluey episode The Pool. Dad takes the girls to the pool and when the mum asks if he has everything he calls her boring and takes off. But then he can't let his kids swim in the sun because he forgot the suncream, and he can't let his youngest get off the step without him because he forgot her floaties, and the girls get hungry but he forgot the snacks and drinks. The girls soon realise that mum is the fun one because she is prepared. She arrives with all the supplies and the kids are able to play freely because they have what they need.

[@gsandau]

We love that show in our house!

[@alysse8034]

That show gets it...lol We love it too!

[@artemis199]

Thank you for making this... I have struggled between being myself, and my role as the "super mom" for years. I found a balance luckily, but definitely not perfect... which is all any of us can do. I had the free spirited mom that made her love life priority with bad men and really wanted to just make sure I never did that with my kids and made sure they had stability. Every mom needed this video.

[@zappernapper]

Have y'all done a video on the Mother-In-Law? I feel like that would be really interesting with how millenials have delayed marriage and the mainstream rise of polyamory.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

My favorite Mother and Daughter In Law relationships are Nalini and Nirmala on Never Have I Ever and Queen Latifah and Laura Hayes on Beauty Shop

[@massetozacarias5693]

They're a nightmare in real life, I always have some hate on my paternal grandmother. Is it mandatory to be a bitch as a paternal mother in law or is it they're just bitch who happens to have a son who's getting married and leaving her home?

[@jofish5678]

I’m a dad and I love the last line “give your imperfect best” I love that so much

[@ango8815]

I strongly believe you can be a good mother while letting your child have sex and drink alcohol. My mom put me on birth control when I started talking about sex and met my boyfriend to make sure he was a great guy, she lets me have a little alcohol a few times a year which definitely made me much less interested in going to parties and getting stashed, because she's taught be to appreciate alcohol for its taste and not for the drug part of it. She also motivates me and pushes me to be the best part of myself, while also parenting me. She's a cool mom while being a good mother

[@ShinjiniBose13]

I love The Takes urge to put Gone Girl's 'cool girl' monologue in every video

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

My Peter Pan syndrome makes me fear my child ever looking at me like "I'm old" and "I'm out of touch". I have no desire to take on "mom work". I also fear pushing a watermelon out of me. Any moms out there doing and facing all of these things are braver and cooler than I am.

[@taerikee]

That cool girl monologue from Gone Girl really does find a way into every video

[@arianacole499]

Bette Porter on the L Word: Generation Q is a prime example of modern cool mom. She's super involved with her daughter Angie's life while also having an active social/love life.

[@MechaJutaro]

I'm still disappointed in that show for one reason though. Both Bette and Angie are shown enjoying weed, yet the show runners have yet to include a scene in which both Bette and Angie get baked beyond all belief, start making out, and then hop into the jacuzzi together. This series has already depicted period sex; why they aren't being even more bold remains a puzzle that has yet to be answered

[@amygirdler4684]

I'm not a parent, but hearing Kim K say, "you just have to wing it" in regards to good parenting is incredibly cringey. It's much easier to "wing it" when you have a full staff to watch and care for your children whenever it is needed.

[@Chuuzus]

Kris Jenner is the true definition of the “i’m not a regular mom, i am a cool mom”

[@miriamchalmovianska863]

Nah. Shes just bat shit crazy. Like most of women /and men.

[@AD-eg9cw]

Kris Jenner is hardly a "mom." She treats her kids with indifference and sees them as nothing but cash cows, and the prettiest/most successful one is always her "favorite" and her kids even call her out on this.

[@Pink_pr1ncess]

@@AD-eg9cw aka Kim Kardashian

[@AD-eg9cw]

@@Pink_pr1ncess It used to be Kim, now it's Kylie.

[@deadinside8719]

I am so glad she is not my mother

[@alh9569]

I would love to see a video on the tropes given to single mothers, especially ones facing economic hardships. That would be really insightful.

[@thehapagirl92]

My parents weren’t the “cool parents” to me, but they were to my friends simply because my friends had parents that were more strict. My parents knew I was someone with a cautious personality that would never engage in underage drinking or teen sex, so they never forbade me from going to parties where that stuff obviously happened. And indeed I never did engage in that stuff as a teen. They were lucky enough to have a child that wasn’t wild and rebellious. I feel sorry for parents who have rebellious teens they can’t control. Being strict parents will only make those teens even more unruly and combative.

[@nithi9638]

You never rebelled because there was no need to. There were no unhealthy restrictions placed on you and more importantly your parents trusted you. So yeah. 'Cool' or more likely good parents. My mum was the cool mum because she's kind of a therapist and that's it lol.

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

@@nithi9638 Well, I never rebelled because my mother was abusive, and if she even found out I slept around or went to a wild party, I'd get a beating. Told me she's never taking care of one child I have and that I'd have to get a job as a teen if I ever got pregnant. Said she'd even kick me out of the house. She didn't want to lose out on her life because of my decisions. She was the type that meant it. I went to a wild party once, and she thought I smoked. I got it hard. Some kids don't rebel so that they avoid parental abuse. I did not want to get pregnant because I knew my life would be harder, and I didn't trust anyone enough to think they'd understand.

[@RoninRen]

@@GenerationNextNextNext you are preaching to the choir on that, basically my own dad made me take a drug test(it's what I'll always tell myself) because I had a missed period, if I was brave enough back then, I gladly would've pointed out the reality, of when would I be around others? When the only times I have fun, are watching TV by myself, or asleep in my own bed, &I gladly would've tapped on, that in my soul I already knew I was Asexual,

[@grapeshot]

My aunt was the cool mom in the neighborhood and everybody was welcomed at her house.

[@kittykittybangbang9367]

Did she have kids or is she just a cool aunt?

[@grapeshot]

@@kittykittybangbang9367 She had kids and he's a cool on aunt.

[@apscoinscurrenciesmore7599]

What about the romantizasation of poverty trope?? Biggest offender is titanic

[@majlordag1889]

I wouldn't say that's an actual huge issue in titanic.. in my own opinion. Poor people can also have good times on limited budget and showing it isn't exactly "romanticizing", it's just showing how reality can often be. There's been research showing how richer people tend to pay less attention to other humans around them and be less empathetic on average.

[@apscoinscurrenciesmore7599]

@@majlordag1889 that's exactly the trope. That poor people are happier with what they have and rich people are unhappy is spite of abundance of wealth. The Titanic heroine behaved as if her biggest problem was having a luxurious life

[@majlordag1889]

@@apscoinscurrenciesmore7599 oh, I see. Makes sense

[@melodyclark1944]

How many other offenders are there?

[@fchow7132]

@@apscoinscurrenciesmore7599 agreed. Rose didn't get exposed to, or need to consider the difficulties of an impoverished life either on the ship (I bet she wouldn't be impressed with Jack's living quarters), or what life would be like for her if she walked away from a life of wealth to live with Jack. Jack and the life of the poor were definitely romanticised in the movie.

[@rachelsikaaa]

"Cool moms" can have harsh, abusive, messed-up mothers and don't want to be like their mother. As a result, they move in the opposite direction of becoming cooler and more understanding. Growing up with a strict and emotionally abusive mother conditioned me to accept some messed-up behaviour in my adult relationships. They say a father is a daughter's first love, while a mother is a daughter's first bestfriend or friend. As a result of my Mother's jealousy and intimidation toward me, I attracted in friends, particularly female friends, who were similar to my mother. They all would make it seem like they love and care for me, but later on the whole friendship I would find out they were talking bad about me or had resentment towards me for whatever reason. Needless to say I got rid of all those women and made new friends. The only good thing to come out of my moms and ex-friends abuse is now I have a lot emotional awareness and I get told a lot I'm very emotionally intelligent. Despite how much I love her. I don't want to be like my mother. When I become a mother I can see myself being a cool mom, but in the middle of the spectrum. I'll never want to subject my child to the same psychological torture that my mum inflicted to me.

[@Sun.Shine-]

I agree with you, you try to be cooler with your kids because of your controlling parents!

[@jennahjodoin7469]

I feel like “the cool mom” is the grown-up version of “I’m not like other girls”

[@evewilliamson6586]

As a new mama who struggles every day with the questions of am I doing enough? Am I doing this right? What the hell am I doing? And hoping I'm not screwing her up. I just wanna say thank you for this video 💕

[@kataangie]

You're doing great! If you're worrying about it, it means you're reflective and trying the best you can. Your kid is very lucky!

[@evewilliamson6586]

@@kataangie thank you for this 💕

[@dopaminedrought395]

I love that the 2020s cool mom is the mom that retains her personality and own internal life while still being a good, supportive, caring and guiding mom. ❤️

[@CherryBlossomBlyue]

This!!

[@oooh19]

Shouldn’t moms have always been allowed this?

[@dopaminedrought395]

@@oooh19 Yeah, they SHOULD'VE, doesn't mean it happened, sadly

[@sofer23490]

Thank you for speaking on this and especially calling out (cough) (cough) Kylie Jenner. Kris Jenner always talks about how she always has time for Stormi, and it's just hard for me to believe that's true.

[@naturalbby1722]

When Regina’s mum said she’d rather them to drink at home it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing it was actually a really responsible thing to do! Since they are under adult supervision instead of them getting drunk outside or throwing up somewhere

[@compequiet0584]

People like Kylie Jenner make me question the existence of me in this universe. Nowadays, people even use a sacred role like mom to exploit money from people. And people are trapped in them like insects in a spider-web.

[@yveqeshy]

Linda Belcher comes to mind as the kind of mom kids need, she has her quacks and can be crazy at times but she is generally involved in helping her kids navigate life

[@singingacapellasongsmusicc3205]

I had to "fix" my mother's "cool momness", and my father's absenteeism & witchcraft, because I was never beautiful as much as my step sisters, I was never fun or as morally permissive as my twin sisters. They used to joke I was 12 going on 40 in middle school.

[@AA-lt3bj]

To be honest, the "cool mom" sounding like a oxymoron seems a little bit mysoginistic in itself :( I'm not a parent, but I think being a parent takes a lot of effort, I guess it's enough to get any, even "average" mom, some respect. Does "cool mom" being an oxymoron means they are inherently uncool? If we take being "cool" as for some degree an indicator of what we want to be, or some kind of "social desirability" or states "social abilities" metric - once woman gets the role of a mother, are we saying that her social prospects are in dicline? It might be a stretch, but I get a feeling that it's "cool" to be at the "sexual object", "on the market" stage, but moving to the stage of being in committed relationship and having a child is "uncool". It might come to other features ofc, like being open-minded and other personality traits. But if we take the "basic" mom - not trying to be cool, not too outstanding - why isn't motherhood in itself deserving, well, at least not the status of "inherently uncool"? How come caring for someone for, say, 18 years without sometimes much of a return is uncool? People praise themselves and others over much smaller things. People think running a marathon, or idk Burning man, is "cool", donating to charity is praiseworthy, saving the planet is important. Well I don't think any of those things take as much effort as an "average" mom (or parent, for that sake) would put in during thir life. And still, that's "inherently uncool". I can't believe.

[@moony6232]

Well said!! It made me think about how most of us take mothers for granted.

[@AD-eg9cw]

I love this comment. I agree 100%. My mom is the love of my life and I would die for her without a second thought.

[@KittySnicker]

EXACTLY!! Being a mom doesn’t mean you stop being a woman!

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

The one who gets to decide the mom is "cool" is often left in the hands of the youth, which means "young people". Tweens and teens mostly are chosen to label her "expiration date". She becomes associated with embarrassing her child, having outdated ideas, dressing old-fashioned, not understanding modern language, listening to old music, watching old boring movies, and restricting modern children from "having fun". Men support this "youth culture" ideology by trying to place less value on women who are older and with children, and more value on younger women "without baggage". Since when did we give all the power to children? Our society values youth and youth's opinions way too much.

[@renata8979]

I wanted to write the exact same comment, was just checking if someone has already said that) And if you think about, it "cool" is a very questionable "label" when being put on people, usually when someone likes or dislikes somebody they are able to name precise qualities that they think are positive or negative, "cool" is not a trait, not a quality, it is just "a vibe" and as someone mentioned below, it is very subjective.

[@alyzu4755]

I'm not a cool mom. But then, I was never cool BEFORE I was a mom, so... And yeah, I wish parents would stop putting their kids online.

[@nicolehall694]

My son and I have a "Gilmore Girls" type relationship. We are good friends yet I'm still his mom and pull rank when needed. I also respect his opinion above anyone's. He's the first person I go to with both good and bad news and he's the same. It's a good balance.

[@AD-eg9cw]

That is beautiful. I've always thought my mom and I were like the "Gilmore Girls" too :)

[@gabrielleporter553]

Your the best kind of mom out there, my mom was similar in the balance of our dynamic like how you described, and it makes me so happy to have grown up that way. I just know you and your son will have a great relationship for years to come

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Lois Foutley is the coolest mom, so was Marcia Lewis (Mira Sorvino) on ACS Impeachment and Sharon Porter on the Babysitters Club Netflix series and Abuela Marisol on On My Block is a Cool Grandma (a trope that needs its own video). Also the ultimate Cool Mom is Nikki Parker of The Parkers

[@belenlg5978]

ooooh Abuelita on On My Block was soooo good. My grandma was kind of crazy (some good crazy, other not so much) and some things reminded me of her

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

@@belenlg5978 I miss Marisol already

[@tobiaslawrence8928]

Awesome vid as always. I would also like to point out the double standard of both the cool mom an the cool dad

[@PokhrajRoy.]

There’s a series of videos called ‘Fast Forward’ by As/Is KZbin Channel and no one tells you that mothers go through hormonal issues and other developmental issues through pregnancy and mothers can even suffer from dysphoria. Who tells about this? Hardly anyone.

[@briargray2355]

Honestly, the freaky friday interview bit has a lot of gems of advice I've frequently had people point out how I seem to have some sort of natural talent to get kids to cooperate, when the reality is that I'm just capable of adapting. Adult authority in its best form recognizes the needs of a child and acts accordingly, rather than having a set idea of what that authority is supposed to be and forcing things. "Quality time with your kids, ya know what, QUIT BUGGING 'EM!" was one that resonated a lot with me. As someone whose parents were incredibly self-obsorbed at best and outright mean-spirited and abusive at worst, having them try to force time spent with me did a lot of damage.

[@ariadnaligorria4582]

The fact that The Take references Gone Girl so often is the main reason of why i watch 🥰🥰🥰😍

[@somnia4268]

The kardashian clan realy made every aspect of their lives a buisness

[@PokhrajRoy.]

12:16 The Media really needs to apologise to Megan Fox for misrepresenting her. She’s just so cool, intelligent, warm and stands her ground. Also, Queer Icon.

[@mewesquirrel6720]

She's crazy

[@AD-eg9cw]

Chrissy Teigen should *not* be in this video. The *disgusting* tweets she made about kids literally made me want to throw up.

[@lemsip207]

I heard bad stuff about her but wasn't sure exactly what they were.

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

Can we take it easy on judging moms? It’s a hard fucking job. Let people be the mom they want to be without giving them constant shit for it.

[@alycethompson1664]

I recognise so many of those mommy bloggers! Always found it bewildering that they would share their children’s lives all over the internet

[@arnoldkabuya5969]

Please do the Cool Dad as well.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

‘Unishe April’ by Rituparno Ghosh was a great film on the Mom who was never meant to be. Do watch it.

[@sophroniel]

The thing that worries me about these "cool moms" is that they treat their children like toys, or accessories. I know countless women, my age and younger, and they seem to not understand what "motherhood" is. They have no clear lines to independence, education or seeing themselves as clear individuals, and babies are so cute, who cares if babydaddy isn't around? But so frequently these girls have babies, forgetting that babies grow into children, who grow into teens, and that if they become single parents, the stress and strain is a lot worse with five teenage boys than five under five, but just for different reasons. We normals don't have armies of nannies and houses the size of museums to house our bajillion cool kids, nor do we have doctors to make sure we go back to a size 0 after birth. I'm nearing thirty, and the narrative I hear from most of my contemporaries who practically went from babydolls to real babies a decade or more ago, and the sole thing they express? Regret. Regret they gave their use to children who won't know the value of what was given (why should they? Children shouldn't have that burden!). Regret they didn't have the education, money or ring on their finger to offer their children a good life that ten years of life skills and frontal lobe development may have given them. And, yet, I know of someone who used to be my friend who scoffed at the women who expressed their difficulty in returning to their fitness levels after giving birth, going back to their high-paying jobs, dealing with unsupportive husbands who have no sympathy that you're a "homemaker" who can't "make home" let alone make their makeup, clothes and bed, plus their baby's. There is a certain amount of scheudenfraude, I have to admit, because this woman used to make fun of what she's become, but doesn't that show how unrealistic our society's idea of "motherhood" is? No matter what a woman chooses, once the label of "mother" is applied to a woman, it's more like a cow-tag, or a brand that she can neither hide nor take a holiday from. Few men are held to such a standard of parental ownership and responsibility. I speak of the fact that there is no "cool dad" trope. Why do we think that might be? Even with my own parents, who share/d chores, home tasks and have a very good relationship with each other, it was humbling to look back at my early childhood when my mother said she resented having to play the bad cop, because dad went to work, or travelled for work, so she had me, day in and day out, and thus whilst she saw a lot of good, she also became the primary disciplinarian by default, and I had no idea as a child how emotionally draining the whole thing must've been. I got on better with my dad, and I think that this is why we have no equal "cool dad" trope.... because, on the whole, dads are treated as the "cool" parent. Mothers are nagging, screeching about chores and telling you to wash your hands, stop trekking mud in the door, why didn't you eat your apple for lunch? where is the school newspaper? Etc etc. Dads take you to a sport practice, and show you how to play video games. Personally, I think our problem is not about our thinking that once a woman becomes a mother it changes her, at that sort of topic to be discussed in depth. I think our problem is why we are so universally familiar with motherhood becoming a woman's entire life purpose--or, at least, the thing that should supersede all other important things, and that if she chooses her own health, her career etc she becomes a "bad" mother and a whole lot of impossible restrictions and taxit societal rules--and why we don't immediately think all these things about fathers. Fatherhood is just as monumental; yes, they do not have to carry a child for nine months and birth the baby (at least, not usually) but they arguably have huge responsibility. In a more traditional sense they are the "breadwinners" which is high stress and high effort over time and can become a source of danger or personal unhappiness in a man who feels he can't let down his family who relies on him for support, but his role tends to be sidelined in terms of his parenting role in nurturing, teaching and spending time with his children. It makes a good father, but the barline is way, way lower for fathers, and "father" is not a title that our society subconsciously still thinks supersedes all his other roles and titles, though society does think that about women. I have no answers, really. I think woman's work and the highest form of that work historically---motherhood---has been devalued and overlooked for too long. But as someone important once said, if the young women of your country are rude, promiscuous and have no filter, we blame the mother. If the young men are angry, violent and causing issues across the world, we don't go back to the father... we still blame the mothers. Yes, this is sexist and unfair as all heck, but until we change that and society realises sex and gender affect how you parent, but not THAT you do parent at all---and that raising loving, responsible children is not particularly gendered---women need to take advantage of this power, and raise generations of boys and men who respect women, each other, their kin, those from other countries and make the world a more accepting place. "Cool" has nothing to do with it, because just being a mother is damn cool enough on it's own.

[@JeantheSecond]

My mom was always my best friend and tons of fun, but she never stopped being my mom. I was always protected while being encouraged to explore my independence. She was a teacher for 10 years before I was born, so she had the advantage of having experience with children before having one. As someone with experience of having a great mom (but having no experience as a mom, tbh) my advice is to calm down. You don’t have to be perfect (my mom was great, not perfect). The house doesn’t have to look perfect. Your children don’t have to be perfect. They don’t have to the top of the of the class. And always, always keep communicating.

[@englandsensation]

Sandy and Kirsten from the O.C were pretty good parents. They were cool but also responsible.

[@taylortaylor5854]

But the kardashian have a lot of nannies.

[@erikaarnold4780]

Another winner. Keep it up….we need you! I have literally shared your videos to people I know who needed some….ummm…enlightenment. Lol

[@Morepanthers]

I wish women would talk more about his much help they're getting with their kids. When you can afford nannies, maid and gardeners, a lot of doors open for you and your family

[@finn1666]

ideally, mothers should always get help. whether its from their partners, family or friends. or even a nanny or babysitter. its a good thing if you are able to receive help, no mother should be expected to handle everything on their own. and just like that, a child will benefit from being raised in a community that cares about them.

[@FromTheHeart2]

If a woman cannot be both pregnant AND have a flat stomach, both giving birth and looking like a super model...you get the picture...she cannot be mom AND cool at the same time. There is good news to that once in a lifetime status: you only get to be mom to your child once, and it is going to take every bit of you. Or forget it, never accept to do things half and half, everyone loses. As a famous talk show host says: "a woman can have it all, except not all at the same time". Decide which one it is and be that. Peace

[@angelas888]

I want to watch all the movies & series mentioned in here now. I grew up with a strict mom & watching this helps me understand her a bit more

[@gabrielleporter553]

it’s funny, i don’t have a “cool mom” in a sense that’s she’s not firm or controlling or is too loose and carefree, but we actually get along really well and are best friends and talk about everything. We have similar senses of humor and opinions, but she also knows when to discipline me and get stubborn, so in a way she’s cool just because she knows how to be a good mom

[@lilil9752]

There are two sides of this, for one i really hate when moms used their children to gain views and poinst on social media , i don't feel like it´s right. On the other hand, society is awfully harsh with no conventional mothers, where i live someone took a picture of a mother who was wearing revealing clothing while she left her kid in school, the person pusblished those pics on social media without her consent , of the mother,her child and the school they were attending. The person put that woman and child on danger (since they didn't censored the child´s face and the school door was shown) ONLY so they could critize and slutshame a young mother who was just minding her own bussiness

[@acsaudiodramas]

Among all the cool moms, I really missed Chicha from _The Emperor's New Groove_

[@matiassanchez1362]

I think that what we all need to understand is that all we know about a "cool mom" is that she's cool. She might be a good mom (like modern family's Gloria), or she might be bad (like Regina George's mother), or anywhere in between. And the same thing happens with "good moms", all we know about them is that they are good, but they can be cool (like Gloria), bossy (like modern family's Claire), tenderly and loving (like Encanto's Julieta) or any combination of these and/or others!

[@MustardLadySaveMe]

Lois Foutley from As Told By Ginger is an almost unrivaled cool mom even by today's standards

[@Korenski23VO]

Man Stepmom was such a great movie. I remember seeing that as a kid. We need more films like that.

[@96delorean]

Kylie using Stormie's image on Kylie Baby, even tho in no way those products are marketed towards babies or moms looking for actual products for their babies, is just so weird

[@ashwinipurandare9418]

all moms are cool. period!

[@amandaredd3057]

Yeah, I don't know that ANYTHING can truly prepare you for motherhood. I went in thinking equality in child rearing, seeing as I too have a career just as my husband did (may he RIP), but boy oh boy was I ever wrong. Everything changes - some good, some bad. But when my boy tells me he loves me, aims that big bright smile at me, and hugs me tight... absolutely worth it all. I may not always look or act cool and perfect, but my boy thinks I'm the shit - so, that's pretty righteous

[@agnessofiacastrocarvalho774]

I think my mom is annoying sometimes, but honestly she does is a cool mom and if she was even more laidback she wouldn't be able to take care of me properly

[@zerkap6354]

The thing I hate the most is how some parents judge other parents. Parenting is super hard, you have no manual and even if you think you did a great job kids will most likely still blame you for their shit. Yes, some people really are horrible parents, but I really feel like most parents are just doing their darn best and should get credit for that. Nothing is more true than what I heard a parent say: the most easy to raise children are imaginery children.

[@MsForeverFluffy]

Ok but like...My mom succeeded in being right in the middle as a cool-friend-mom and I'm so thankful.

[@sanewitch8036]

Being a parent is hard. Being a mom especially cool one is impossible...

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Lady Diana Spencer is the OG Cool Mom. Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle are following in her footsteps along with Cool Dads Prince William and Prince Harry.

[@lemsip207]

Princess Diana was one of a kind. The Duchess of Cambridge and Meghan will never be able to live up to her. In fact the Duchess of Cambridge is proving herself to be an anti Diana. More like Princess Anne or Princess Michael of Kent. She's mean and she's cold and touts those children around like they are trophies but there is a nanny walking behind them to take care of them when the cameras aren't on them.

[@Korenski23VO]

You guys are so amazing! I love your perspectives on film and television tropes!