The Secret "Little" Behaviors That Can Undermine Trust and Love

[@TrueStature]

I'm so grateful for the way you teach, Anna. Your example and experience is so helpful. I used to watch a lot of "surface self help" videos, but now I focus on channels like yours because there is truth here.deep, real truth. Thank uou.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so welcome!

[@Maria-yi7sr]

Water is wet, there's no version of "micro wet". Cheating is cheating, and the woman in this situation could focus on her own growth, confidence, and self-worth to realize this relationship is not for her. I've come to learn that manipulators want to cherry pick nuances to allow for bad behavior to exist and be acceptable. Micro cheating is the perfect example of this.

[@sashakholodovsky4930]

This comment is spot on 👏🏻

[@mintyhippo8125]

Idk if having feelings for someone before you committed to a relationship and liking a couple pictures necessarily counts as cheating. Of course, I don’t know if that is everything or if that was minimizing the situation or something, but I do understand the guilt of “I was supposed to be monogamous always! And I feel bad that I wasn’t even when we didn’t agree to be!” Like, just disappointed at being human and not psychic that things would go well with the future girlfriend.

[@biondna7984]

Thank you for this comparison; it's perfect. It's more ammunition for me to write off a married man who indulged himself in "micro-cheating" with me - "just" words - to enjoy my reaction, feed his own ego, and still glide safely home to his wife. While I was aching for my late beloved spouse. There was no overt flirting or seduction, and we didn't act. He even did me some real kindnesses, to appease his conscience I expect. I stay the hell away from him. I just want to disrespect him for it. I'm working on that.

[@Mochalolo1928]

I agree- micro cheating is just cheating! If he had the opportunity to make good on his flirting he would have. There is no difference in my mind. If you want someone else’s attention then you don’t care enough deep down that you already have the attention of someone who truly loves you for you. Makes me sad to think about 😢

[@Gnomesmusher]

Eh. I get that any form of cheating is bad but I disagree that there isn't a sliding scale. If I had a wife and she started flirting with a guy I would of course be upset and consider it cheating but at least at that point, I would say I would be willing to work things out and fix the issue that led to that. But if she fucked a dude, there's no way I'm forgiving her. So yes, I do think there are versions of micro-cheating.

[@mintyhippo8125]

Oof, no offense to Ray, but this letter made me feel icky. It feels like it is dripping with deceit and insincerity to me. Like Anna said, maybe he doesn’t even know he’s lying to himself yet. But to say, “why can’t she just trust me? 😠 🧐” after knowing exactly why she doesn’t trust you - you lied multiple times and put yourself in shady situations. Like, she doesn’t trust you because you did a bunch of untrustworthy things - logically, she shouldn’t trust you. I know that hurts to not be trusted, but that is what happens. Like, “okay, I’ll only drink when I’m with you,” so clearly you’re still okay with drinking (even though you think it’s bad enough to go to AA? Or she does?) And then to say both, “I want to be with her forever” and “I’m also willing to give up because she needs time to heal.” … being together forever means that you will have bumps you need to work through. It’s not just, “okay! We are married, we trust each other and can never hurt each other again!” She wants you to be honest with her and yourself. … plus, if you want to leave, just leave. Don’t say, “wellllll, if you want us to break up…. 👀” That’s not taking responsibly for your actions in the mess. That’s you saying, “welp, I tried. Too bad 🤷‍♂️” And not saying what you actually want! You seem to want to be together, and that involves sorting it out as a TEAM. Not giving up when it’s hard - unless you actually want to, then just do that! It’s like you’re not facing that you like to drink and do drugs because you’re afraid she will leave. But, I don’t think she’s a dummy - she probably knows you do, and is frustrated that you won’t own up to it. And yeah, trauma might be holding her back from leaving you, so the fear can get elevated from her not wanting to lose you, either. … ugh. Ouch. Kinda sorry for the rant - this just really struck me. Plus, I might be projecting too hard, so don’t take this as the best take lol

[@ixizn]

You put this perfectly! I think there’s too little information to judge as harshly as I’ve seen some other comments are already doing, but if he really wants to change I hope he listens to Anna and reads this comment, and I say that with compassion. I can understand why this letter could be triggering for many other people, but it’s so difficult to see the harmful stuff we do ourselves sometimes when we haven’t gotten far enough in our healing yet. Hoping for all the best for anyone who’s on this channel and trying to sort themselves out.

[@marianne-p]

Well said!! 😊 I really hope the author of this letter sees this comment. You broke it down in a transparent way without villianizing them. People don't like accountability when it puts them on the hot seat and it's like he's struggling and lying to himself about how severe these issues are to cause mistrust and involve multiple events of alcohol/substance addiction. I hope he sees how he is and faces these problems head on one day so he can truly heal. Meanwhile I hope the partner can see them for who they truly are and accept that someone has to want to change for themselves regardless of staying or leaving and choosing to change because you love someone is not enough.

[@mintyhippo8125]

@@marianne-p Yeah, I definitely get what it’s like to be in denial that 1) you have responsibly over your actions, 2) you have power over your actions, 3) that you play a role in the outcome of your life and your relationship, and 4) your actions have real consequences for other people who care about you. (It takes time to learn when you feel invisible growing up - only seen when you’re in trouble for something made up. It’s easy to develop the logic of, “I’m fine, it’s the other person’s problem. It’s easier if I just lie to make them less mad.”) Just because you make mistakes doesn’t mean you can’t stop if you want to - you just have to prioritize what you actually want. Be honest with yourself and take responsibility for your life. Do you want to be single and drink? Okay, you can! Do you want to have your girlfriend and be sober? Okay, you can! You can work on that and improve! But you don’t just improve by pretending there’s no problem anymore just because the problems make you uncomfortable. It’s kinda like, “I’ve forgiven myself for drinking and stumbling, but I don’t understand why you haven’t yet.” Your partner can’t read your mind - just because you decided that you’re better now, doesn’t mean your actions reflect that or that your partner doesn’t need time to forgive you. It takes two people to repair the bond. Repairing the bond is possible, but deciding to is scary when you never had that experience.

[@tdesq.2463]

Wow!!! Brilliant!! Actually, every entry in this thread, along with Your principal comment, is just beyond impressive. You're all far more controlled than I'd be with my assessment of the matter presented. Not sure about You folks, but I am a Man. And this dude who wrote in to the Good Fairy ... well, he is not. Not even close. I'm quite far from perfection, but this dude is a sneak. Trustworthiness is nowhere in the foreseeable future. It's gonna be several years, if ever, before he could be trusted with anyone's feelings. And that is a very big problem. The one and only one thing I see here is that he knows he f'd up. And he regrets it ... but because he got caught. So, depending on his age (on whether or not the glue has dried yet), the responsible thing for him to do may be to stay single. Everyone who wants a partner wants a trustworthy partner. But only the trustworthy partners out there deserve a trustworthy partner. And no double standard. That crap don't fly. Anyway ... again ... Excellent Comment! ~TD, Boston

[@lowlowseesee]

the same feeling I got both times I watched this video. ive seen guys do this for decades

[@littleblackbabycat]

If your in a relationship for about a year and already its going wonky and toxic..... its toxic. End it. Work on yourself.

[@demian8439]

YES

[@lowlowseesee]

I’m 43 and been supporting victims for a while. My less heavy work is in stuff like this and I agree. This relationship is likely donezo

[@oliviachipperfield6029]

Totally agree.

[@jenniferannfox2316]

I suspect that the lack of trust has alot more to do with being unfaithful and lying not necessarily alcohol. When a man doesn't keep his word and makes lying a way of life, no one is going to trust him. Being unfaithful and treating her as an option yields consequences which entail no trust. Blaming her for all the problems means you have'nt accepted responsibility.

[@lumpyspacecadet]

These two are not on the same page. He doesn't get it. He's trying to do the least amount of good that she will tolerate and trying to negotiate down on some things. She feels he's trying to rip her off. Who wants a relationship like that? Be a truly good deal for her! This is a relationship that's not worth it.

[@FireSilver25]

I felt sick to my stomach hearing that email. I don’t know the guy but he doesn’t sound very forthcoming about what he did yet expects forgiveness and commitment from his GF. Maybe they should break up and work on themselves for a few months then check in with each other.

[@CoMorbiditty]

Risky behaviour = probably drinking with the "co-worker" and sleeping at her place. He's putting himself in "harms way" and if it happens great if it doesnt l'll be with the current girlfriend. Doesnt sound like a commitment he has for the relationship.

[@em97c]

I kind of think if you truly love someone and the relationship is healthy and mutually loving, there's not much point in arguing whether something is "objectively bad" or not. If it hurts them and you know it hurts them, why would you argue that you should be allowed to continue to do it. I understand that using that logic with a controlling partner could go down a bad path but I really think if the relationship is sincere I and I know something I'm doing is hurtful to my partner, that behaviour stops regardless of what people on the internet would say "counts" or whatever.

[@tdesq.2463]

Thank You!!! Excellent Point! This is not a formal criminal prosecution. This is real life. Moral Law governs here. There are no nuances of statutory language up for debate. But, for those who do insist on leaning on that kind of crap, the response is: "Objection ... Irrelevant" Good work picking that off! Very impressive! You're a Sophist's worst nightmare. I admire that! ~TD, Boston

[@MsBettyRubble]

I knew a guy at work who engaged in digital "micro" cheating. He said he never met any of his online flirts. He'd get so turned on by the chatting, his wife would got the "benefit" of it in the bedroom. But his wife left him anyway bc she noticed their sex life had changed. She admitted it was more frequent. But she also knew she wasn't the inspiration. He couldn't understand why she took it all so seriously when he hadn't done anything. The single guys at work sided with him. All the women and happily married men said he was cheating. He never got it.

[@lowlowseesee]

lol sounds about right. im a man in my forties and the younger me would have been like those single guys. im still struggling with the clueless results of being programmed incorrectly by societal shit. anyway now at my age and all the mistakes I have made I realize how harmful that kind of behavior is. because of CCF i understand that emotional cheating exist

[@marianabucio6047]

Yikes, I've been where the woman in this situation has. It's very frustrating to be on the receiving end of behavior like "Ryan's"

[@ixizn]

To the question of what one needs to do to make someone else trust them again: you have to let them heal. You have to PROVE that they can trust you, through your future actions. This is why it can and probably will take some time. You don’t just say or try to do the right thing a couple of times... it’s a process, just like healing from C-PTSD is a process.

[@Mochalolo1928]

Oh yes! I was previously in a situation where my ex was trying to rebuild trust with me. He would do good things for a few weeks and then a hiccup would happen and I would see the real him again. He would SAY he was changing, but if internal change had happened, then the hiccups wouldn’t be occurring over and over again. He would get angry I wasn’t just believing him when he would say things which then would make me even more suspicious! Healing takes time and consistent effort- not one off good deeds.

[@troubleshooter166]

Her a psychology teacher say that if an affair lasted 6month or 18months then you could expect 6months etc of wronged person questioning the cheater every time cheater was home late from work. It will take time

[@dassijes5943]

I was in my late 20s when it really clicked what fidelity in a monogamous relationship really means to me. It’s not about knowing where the line is and not crossing it. It’s a joyful commitment to the relationship. I would not be involved in anything classed as ‘micro-cheating’ not because I was good at self-control but because I didn’t want to be in a situation that endangered the relationship I held dear.

[@chaz7604]

Yes exactly this! ❤

[@margaretc5679]

Well said!

[@dena5558]

I love this!

[@urszulalewandowska8800]

To be in a committed, honest, healthy relationship, we must first be healthy, honest, and committed to ourselves. It seems like here, this person is not sure about their needs and wants. He wants to spend his life with her and tries to behave the way she needs him to behave, but does he really want to behave this way? If I were him, I'd first look at myself and my life, and pose a couple of questions, such as "How do I want to live?", "Does the life that I want to live aligns with the life that is good and healthy for me?", "Am I truly ready to work on myself?", "What's the source and reasons for my impulsive, destructive behavior, and how do I fix it, so that I don't need alcohol, drugs or other women to get the rush and feel good?". Decide if you're in a place where you're really ready and want to actually change all this and work on yourself, if not - let her be.

[@nennepanrikefairytaleart4773]

I am wishing everyone here (myself included) love and healing....

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing this! We're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@savioartwork]

Wishing combined with consistent action and support will get you somewhere.

[@starseed168]

The writer sounds so much like my ex. Probably not a bad guy, but clueless/in denial about who he really is and what he actually wants.Not wanting to lose a good thing is not the same as wanting it outright, and that fault line will eventually swallow up any potential the partnership has. Writer, go be you! Rather than who you think you "should" be to keep the Ole Lady off yer gd back. Partner also needs to be clear about what she wants/needs and see the situation for what it is. It's soo hard to give up on someone's potential. In hindsight, if I'd had the awareness and tools I've learned from CCF, I would have ended it after the 3rd date instead of 12 years.

[@lowlowseesee]

yeah Im a dude and I use to be like this. not the same habits but the same cluelessness. things that i used to do that I thought were kind of bad but not that bad...now that Im in my forties, i realize were emotionally abusive. Im real ashamed of it but thats life.

[@ecleland979]

I'm glad you mentioned the 'psychic change' -- I've experienced that myself recently, so it's great to hear there's a term for it. I'm going to go research it now...

[@biondna7984]

I so admire and value your thoughtful, compassionate yet direct responses to those you answer, Anna. I vouch for what you told this fellow. I quit drinking, not to stop alienating my children (I certainly was and didn't want to). I finally wanted to respect and trust myself. The last 20+ years have been the best of my life. Everything got better, including with my sons. As for the "secret 'little' behaviors" discussed, thank you for this too. I need this for more sobriety, to kill this limerence for a married man who knows damned well his affect on me - large, rugged and handsome pushes ALL my buttons. The things he privately said to me were plausibly deniable "secret little words," to fire my longing. None of it could be mistaken for overt flirting or seduction, and we didn't act. All this, while I was aching for my late beloved spouse. He DID give me some over-the-top kindnesses, to appease his conscience I guess. But God did I feed that ego, before he cruised safely home to his wife, whom I do pity. Thanks for the kindnesses, Dude. Now beat it.

[@fiction589]

It is always so insightful to hear Anna's opinion. Incredible ! I learn a lot every time. ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad! Thanks for being a part of our community here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@bethtaylor9773]

Also, if his girlfriend would go to Al-Anon and work steps too, that would help a lot.

[@maremaid15]

What the bleep is micro cheating? Cheating “just a little?” Cheating is cheating, micro, or macro.

[@kathyingram3061]

~When i was going through all that 'switching wine for beer', and trying to limit my drinking, it wasnt so much that i couldnt stick to those things, it was the constant obsession on it all that got too much of my time, energy & focus~I wanted to have other things in my life instead~Once i quit drinking, all that stopped & space opened for better things!~

[@littleone31917]

Great point!

[@marimar2525]

I would leave him so fast his head would spin…

[@annak29]

He is conflicted about keeping his personal habits of using substances as coping,pleasure, and impulsive acts that disrespect healthy boundaries for himself and others. "Boundary violations" are signs of trauma and abuse in unhealthy primary relationships. He needs to ask himself would he tolerate her doing the same things? If so, why? If not, why? Would he rather have a partner who is unpredictable and impulsive, because that's more familiar? Is he with her because she provides stability and consistency that relieves his abandonment anxiety, and thus the "parent" he needed and can't be for himself? I was in such an unbalanced relationship that was much more extreme, including actual physical abandonment, outright lying and cheating as his normal, but him claiming "i want to be with you for the rest of my life." I didn't understand what it was at the time,but it was extremely painful and confusing. If you are not honest with yourself and who you are and get stable in who you truly are, you are being emotionally abusive to yourself and others. You are exploiting others for your momentary needs and stringing them along until your next "better situation". It's like you are always shopping and just clinging to her for stability that you can't hive yourself.

[@minamomo12]

This man should just break up with his gf. Poor woman. He knows what he did was wrong.

[@adrianalipomi9111]

Thank you for talking about the program!!! I spent a lot of time in coffee shops in my 20s, and accidentally made a lot of alcoholic friends. The people who stuck with their sobriety and did all that work on themselves just bloomed and became so inspiring....and the comeraderie was incredible to see. I hope this guy gets truly sober bc he sounds very smart and capable.

[@jicajacobsonkimbreaux]

THANK YOU for addressing this topic. I've been with a man like this for nearly twenty years (always compartmentalizing, making excuses for lying/cheating but stopping short of admitting to penetrative sex) and at some point you come to realize that no one EVER changes for anyone but themselves. You can tell when someone is ready to genuinely look at themselves/really wanting to change their coping mechanisms. What did you call it, when a person develops both self-awareness along with the urge to introspect/honestly show up/explore the true nature of their spirit? A psychic awakening of sorts? This is what I've been trying to put my finger on for several years, it's nice to have a name/concept for it. 🙏🏼 Do you believe there are cases where a person genuinely isn't capable of doing this, due to fear?

[@katiequimby5576]

Luv how knowledgeable u are of AA and their Big Book. One can see how hard u worked at applying what u learned there towards your Al-Anon program. Thank you for getting so honest. It gives me encouragement to get more authentic.

[@nuthinbutluv4u142]

All I hear is him complaining about her.

[@ciggytwiggy]

Sorry ray sounds shady

[@marren6323]

Great breakdown for what it takes to get real with oneself. It's a lot of work and my experience has been that it is well worth the effort! When it comes to the issue of rebuilding trust a couple of sayings come to mind. One is "Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets." The other is "Consistent actions over time build trust." Of course there is a lot of work within those sayings... I hope the best for the letter writer.

[@ewa11411]

Anna you look so amazing 💜

[@omfghailmao]

The man who wrote the letter in this video sounds A LOT like the guy I used to date........

[@annoravetz5908]

Shortly after we were married, my husband told me how a woman came up to him at his University and grabbed his but. He said he liked it, then he went out on a date to a bar with the single mom next door. He was home unemployed at the time. I expressed my anger, but the seeds of distrust were sown. He began mistreating me, "silent treatment" numerous times, and withheld sex over 6 months after our son was born. I began planning my exit, except things would improve, then mistreatment, like a roller coaster. I began having crushes on guys at work, but I didn't want to cheat. I could control my actions, but I just wanted a new husband. I couldn't stand it anymore. I found out recently He was told he fathered a child in 2003 with a teenage girl whose dad pimped her out, and they extorted so much money from him, so there went half my assets in a divorce. Ideally, I had wanted to have the kids be older and him and I be more stable financially, but someone was pressing him for money. I had not known it at the time.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That sounds hard! Glad you're here now. Nika@TeamFairy

[@annak29]

What a horrific experience, this saddens me on so many levels. What misery you and your child suffered under the same roof with a dysregulated sexually impulsive immature male. It seems so few know how to be in a continual process of self-aware adulting and evolution of maturity. Honesty is required, honesty with oneself. Once you have experienced such imbalance and betrayals in a long term relationship, one is wounded,scarred, and has a lot of work ahead to heal.

[@amorl4520]

I could not wait for Anna's response. Great letter.

[@ld9862]

It sounds like narcissistic bafflegab. Run don't walk. He wanted your praise and almost got it.

[@ixizn]

He wanted her opinion and help... I know those of us that are on here are all on high alert for that kind of personality, for good reasons too, but it doesn’t feel very productive to judge something in such black and white terms when they are actively asking for help...

[@Teach.Experience.Dance-Vicky]

There’s that overused word again : narcissistic . A real narcissist woukd even ask for help Being selfish or not being self aware or adequately introspective is not NPD and totally OTT

[@lisaharris6176]

AA I learned sooooo much from there.

[@omfghailmao]

Weird. The similarities are honestly kind of creeping me out.

[@omfghailmao]

Just saying, that is all. Me and this guy were coworkers and we had a romantic connection that went on for almost a year. He would demand the relationship be "casual" but then he changed his mind depending on how he felt that day. If he felt like treating us like boyfriend/girlfriend, we'd act like that but just as quickly, he'd pull away and withdraw all affection and romance. It was awful. He knew he was stringing me along and my friends called him out on it many times. Eventually, he made a move on me at a bar, kissed me, told me he wanted to be with me and then two weeks later he called me and told me he was dating our supervisor at work. This happened months ago and I'm still traumatized. He treated me like his plaything but I allowed it because of my own cptsd and bad decisions. Recently, I found out they're still together and they went on a "cute" little roadtrip together. When I found out, I had to call my friend who calmed me down from a panic attack. This man went from treating me like his plaything to seriously pursuing an actual relationship with this girl, which was all I had wanted and asked for. I'm sure it's just a coincidence but hearing this story triggered me some kind of way. Maybe a little too much cuz I feel like crying now.

[@bamafencer12]

They should break up....

[@SzokkozS]

If you and your loved one imagine having just one day left in this life, how would your day look like?

[@elizabethaustin8182]

You are so insightful and smart and respectful. I’d love to be able to help people this cleverly, sanely, levelley. well done with your beautiful offerings to the world

[@rando42069]

Drinking "off the clock"? Is he a bartender?

[@bizzybee3762]

This

[@reettaelina]

You are in cptsd recovery and you are thinking your own behavior and others. I hope you well recovery🎉 I am a long way ahead now but just having struggle again, sometimes it's harder😢sometimes it feels so easy😊

[@deansongs]

I've got so many things to say about this and I haven't listened to much of it. My apologies about that because I've listened to some of your stuff fully and liked all of it. First of all, micro cheating is showing a direction. Second of all I micro cheated and the direction wasn't seen. Can we talk about limerence :-)? No.

[@reettaelina]

I drank a lot when I was young but nowadays I have the feeling I don't want to drink at all🎉I have a time when I was thinking my partner's drinking and my own too in rehab

[@nancyharvath886]

I enjoyed “Women for Sobriety “ just mentioning an alternative

[@MsCaterific]

💞

[@ElainePMP2008]

what is the link or application process to request counseling.

[@tracey-lu4kx]

❤

[@robertschrader]

What if both people are micro-cheating lol

[@demian8439]

5:47 - Ray, brother. Things that you did before your current relationship MUST NOT be called cheating. That's LUDICROUS!! I'm not making a diagnosis here, but your girlfriend seems to possess traits of covert narcissism. -I may be way out of line by suggesting this, and perhaps I'm jumping at shadows from my own life, but...- Ray. -You should seriously consider getting out of this relationship before you become any more enmeshed with your girlfriend.- _edit: I think you should take the time to seriously evaluate whether or not this is a healthy relationship for you. If your girlfriend makes you feel inadequate, unheard, or unattractive, then she is not the right person for you to spend the rest of your life with._ I also strongly recommend that you embrace full sobriety. It's the most healthy choice you can make in your life. Good luck, brother. I wish you the best!

[@motownr313]

Does this apply to a work husband? Totally platonic, and solid trustworthy coworkers? Like when my daughter called me while I was at work, she was at college, and said “I have some bad news”, I handed the phone to him. He didnt know what to do and I said ask if she’s pregnant, and what she said was she failed a class. But I didnt want to deal with anything bad with her because I would speak badly. Outloud. At work.

[@dani88372]

Why would you have your daughter reveal something private to someone who is a stranger to her? I honestly think yes this is crossing a line, and calling anyone a “work husband” is micro cheating at least for sure.

[@ADDAuntDawnDisorder]

She may have some narcissist or paranoid tendencies. Maybe she is still hurt. She is also still young. If you’ve truly stopped everything, she has to get over it if you two will be successful together. Fairy, he DID say what…edibles & alcohol, but he stopped the edibles.🙏💪

[@littleone31917]

I think Anna was unclear what "edibles" means.

[@Lehmann108]

People micro cheat out of desperation because aspects of intimacy are lacking or missing in the relationship. A wife tells a husband that she has no sexual interest in him any longer. What is the husband supposed to do? He agrees with the broad concept of loyalty in a relationship but he didn't get married to live as a celibate. But the wife, while sympathetic to his situation, utterly fails to recognize the impact no sex has on his self-esteem. After years of this if a woman starts to show interest in the husband he will respond because he will suddenly recognize he's been living in an emotional desert all these years. For the sake of loyalty he has deeply compromised his own wellbeing. So yes, he will micro cheat at minimum because he's been starving to death. He will start an emotional affair because his soul is aching for a woman to appreciate him, to value him, to want him.

[@robertloerwald3]

He’s supposed to either be faithful or end the relationship. Cheating isn’t the only option as you seem to believe, but it’s the worst one

[@biondna7984]

I agree with you; I know this happens and some married people either feel hopeless to fix it, or don't want to give up the financial security they've built up with a less-agreeable-than-before spouse. In fact this is what I've preferred to believe about a married guy who said some strongly-suggestive things to me: he has a marriage that has withered sexually, and otherwise they love each other, are reasonable and good partners, and he's "settled for" what he's got. In fact I now recognize that “micro-cheating” is exactly how I got through 24 years married to a growing malignant narcissist who finally became repugnant to me: I fantasized constantly about other men, mostly ones I constructed in my mind. So "micro cheating" with me was what this married guy allowed himself. I’d prefer to believe I'm the only one who receives this attention, but I very much doubt it.

[@Fae313]

Manosphere talking points

[@robertloerwald3]

@@Fae313 A bit misandrist

[@Lehmann108]

@@robertloerwald3 No I don't believe cheating is the only option, but I certainly understand it when it does occur.

[@prettynena3102]

Outstanding way you approached the questions and answers from “Ryan” Also outstanding way you naked your sold and give that to us! I really motivated to do your free curse and also to attend the 12 steps. ❤🙌🏻🙏

[@catherinezuklic5070]

bare your soul ??

[@littleone31917]

​@@catherinezuklic5070 LOL Yes, that is exactly what he or she meant. Thank you for deciphering for us! This writer is clearly not a native English speaker.

[@SOS1818]

I feel I could of wrote this… oh my 😓🤍 thank you