The Seduction Game (How Early Japanese Men Picked Up Women) | History of Japan 39

[@Linfamy]

Are you attracted to pathetic people? 1:36 Cute pocket koala shirt: teespring.com/cute-pocket-koala Please consider supporting the channel =) 🔸PATREON (blog, art): www.patreon.com/Linfamy 🔸DONATE: www.paypal.me/Linfamy

[@foxunix101]

Linfamy yes I am attracted to myself. O and I am new

[@Linfamy]

Welcome! Oh, don't call yourself that :)

[@lordulberthellblaze6509]

With what you said I think I've found an explanation as to where many of the romantic cliches found in Anime come from.

[@simplesimp2276]

As for the pity 'love', it's really more of a power dynamic thing really and always remember that Asian man usually really really prefer submissive women.. I think it also boils down to Confucians teachings which also played a big role in Japan then. Women were simply expected to be dependent on their spouse throughout their lives really. As a man in Asian culture, you're expected to be superior in every way possible when compared to your female counterparts and it's true even today and that's why highly educated women find it hard to get married in Asian countries due to the gap in education level or even just a matter of occupational prestige difference too much in a potential mate. So you can already see how big of a thing it is now still in Asian society and imagine we go back a few hundred years. :D As for genji, we must remember the author's perspective and also that genji himself was a real charming lad anyways LMAO so it's really more fanfic than I would assume reality. So yuh just take everything with a pinch of salt really and that's all I have to say.

[@theunraveler]

I live in the wrong time, I need to be living in Heian period...

[@kyanite1164]

"And then they killed each other" That made my whole day.

[@Linfamy]

😅

[@arlykane1031]

damn i just want to comment that XD

[@pedroarjona4618]

A natural response to a heated intellectual argument about popular culture of the time, is a surprise that today don't happen so often

[@Linfamy]

It'd make for more interesting debates

[@Discordia5]

I giggled maniacally.

[@antyey6437]

Woman: sweats nervously Heian Man: *Heavy breathing*

[@Dina-up2nc]

Genichiro Ashina 😂😂😂😂😂

[@MaximilianOOO491]

Lmao

[@fmjjjjn7510]

😂

[@fmjjjjn7510]

This comment is underrated

[@galladesamurai2380]

OMG, you sweat? *breathes heavily* Lemme see that sleeve come off UwU

[@Berries20]

Heian guy: "I'm so pathetic my mom kicked me out of her house to live in the streets" Heian gal: Oh *GOD* ravage me *right now!!*

[@Linfamy]

🤣

[@positrondecay4784]

pfffft! XD

[@ginnyjollykidd]

"And that's why I'm so *desperate!* Desperation caused me to steal you away!"

[@qudavid1128]

🤣🤣🤣

[@Pasadena14]

🤣🤣🤣

[@stephvarchia2723]

I'm chinese and that weakness thing is kinda true. There's a thing called "leftover women" in china which are women that still aren't married after 30, and unexpectedly these women aren't ugly or stupid or anything, but because they are too independent or too strong and it makes men feel like she doesn't need a boyfriend so a lot of guys tend to stay away from strong women because it made the guys seem weaker or more pathetic.

[@riyavaryani799]

Yeah I heard in the news about leftover women in China. I also heard that leftover women are forced to marry village men because some population issues..

[@personontheinternet304]

I have heard of this as well but never thought that no one wanted to marry them because they're too independent/strong.

[@beratsuaydn1645]

@@riyavaryani799 thats horrible

[@007Layanne]

In the west despite of saying the opposite guys love these kind of women cause they see them as a chalenge

[@kellabdjfoo]

@@riyavaryani799 that’s horrible :(

[@devkanyabose7591]

That explains why kawaii, meaning "cute" came from kawaii sou, meaning "pitiful"

[@katerinaaqu]

It is more "kawai sou" with one "i" but it is pretty close indeed! They even share kanji characters! 可愛い (kawaii) which means cute 可哀想 (kawaiso) which means "pitiful" or "poor thing" They share the kanji ka: 可 which actually means "approval" "acceptable" "allowed" or "be in favor of"

[@Vinvininhk]

I'm not Japanese but I always thought or 可愛 as literally "lovable". 可 gives the "-able" part and 愛 means love. Together it means sth/someone you can (or easy for you to) love, meaning lovely. In this way 可哀想 would be 可 "-able", 哀"sad", 想"think" meaning someone you can (or easy for you to) think about in a sad way, meaning pitiful.

[@Loonaurtheworld]

おかわいいこと lmaooo

[@elroylim8213]

Actually, this isn't really true. You're looking at the "romaji" of the words, which is a horrible way to grasp the meaning of them 可 means "able to", so "可愛い" means "able to be loved", with the い being indicative of an adjective. By the same token, "可哀想" means "able to be pitied". What you're saying is like saying every word with "-able" in it is related.

[@yoneblogger]

You just blew my mind!!!!

[@beyoncepiccolo123]

"Thirsty as hell" Ha *liked*

[@Linfamy]

:D

[@isaacmanalo2723]

Hell ya!!!!!!🤐

[@isaacmanalo2723]

I'll give you sushi 🍣🍥🍥🍥🍣🍣and rice balls 🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍣🍙🍣🍣🍣🍙🍣🍣🍣🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍣🍣🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍣🍣🍣🍣🍣🍙🍙🍥🍥🍣🍥🍥

[@galladesamurai2380]

Thirsty as hell is basically my online motto for certain things...

[@asillypiggy]

Its still like this today. Girl idol groups that targets male audience will be meek, vulnerable and cute. Male idol groups that targets female audience will be soft, somewhat effeminate and Cute. Girl idol group that targets women will be strong and confident. Male celebrities that targets male audience will also be strong, reserved and confident.

[@ryuko4478]

That sounds very different from "I am pathetic"

[@ryuko4478]

@jamaicah joaquin Not really, that is a cute, not pathetic reaction

[@ryuko4478]

@jamaicah joaquin they might be related but they are not that similar, Kawaii culture focuses on cuteness and sometimes may include "cute" flaws like clumsiness and shyness, but that is as far as it goes

[@luvcherry]

loving cute stuff idols do isn't the same as feeling pity towards them and being attracted because of that

[@ryuko4478]

@@luvcherry exactly!

[@blatherskitenoir]

I've noticed in the modern Chinese novels I've read that they have the idea of pathetic/ weak= lovely. Lots of descriptions about how 'tender' a woman or child is, and how they look close to tears a lot, and are so, so fragile, like butterfly wings, and how they 'tremble'. Lots of hospital scenes for the delicate maiden, even for extremely minor injuries or common colds (I've never read one that didn't have at least 1 trip to the hospital) and fantasies about how she'd bruise or break. There's also a strong concept of neediness = lovely in the stories. So, being demanding or reliant on another person is attractive, especially when the other person can provide what is demanded. In the stories I've read, children who demand indulgence and act spoiled (while being ever so "tender" like a baby dumpling) are seen as more lovable than independent, low-maintenance children. They want you to act spoiled, because it means you want them to dote on and cherish you. It appears there is a sense of power/pride in being able to meet all of the neediness needs of your beloved object, which is probably why the ideal and stereotypical Chinese romance novel male lead is some superpowered, celebrity-famous billionaire who also models, moonlights as a mafia king pin, owns half the country, and is so extremely devoted, they'd give you anything you desire. Average joe characters are pretty nonexistent (I've never actually seen one as a main male lead in a Chinese internet novel). Shopping trips and giving someone an unlimited credit card are pretty common scenes in these stories.

[@Linfamy]

Even modern novels huh? Sounds terrible 😅. Yeah it's the old timey way of seeing girls as "delicate." I remember once my parents were quite surprised seeing my friend drink and hold her liquor. I'm like yeah she's an adult 👀

[@sadlittletroll1738]

I think it's pretty common in Western culture too, but through a longer timespan. The man first appears dominant, assertive, maybe even aggressive at first. Then, he reveals his vulnerable side (some traumatic past or getting hurt by something) to gain her trust and empathy. A lot of storylines are like that.

[@tomorrow4eva]

Yeah I have seen this on western love stories but over a longer time frame.

[@MineCraft-sb3zz]

So, this is the reason why loner in anime have harem?

[@vaiyaktikasolarbeam1906]

Probably

[@vaiyaktikasolarbeam1906]

Add also clumsiness and there U have it

[@LadyCrimsonSky]

omg it all makes sense now :O

[@rinchi3]

Mine Craft 🤯🤯🤯 woah I think that is I’m mind blown 😂

[@jomo5800]

That explains it.

[@scarletrose2880]

"Remember it was written by a female writer," so was 50 shades of grey, and as we all hopefully know, that depicts a horribly abusive relationship.

[@briciolaa]

you can and will internalize some awful shitty behaviour when youve been subject to it all your life and think of it as normal

[@Marewig]

Yeah, but we know the writer never had a relationship with a millionaire, for one, so it's really strictly her (completely off-base) imagination. Murasaki Shikibu, though? She was a high-level court lady, the same as many of Genji's love interests, and she would've slept with several people in positions of power in court like Genji too. Odds are, her novel is way more true to life (and her own perspective on it) than Fifty Shades of Grey is. Of course, I bet there are some young ladies from the country/not yet up-to-date with the capital's dating style that's traumatised by their 'no doesn't always mean no' standards.

[@scarletrose2880]

@@Marewig it was just one example. There are way more shitty relationships depicted and romanticized by female authors than actual good ones.

[@scarletrose2880]

@@Marewig my point is even female authors write shitty love interests it doesn't make it okay because a woman wrote it. The problem with Christian is his controlling behavior which trust me doesn't require money.

[@Marewig]

@@scarletrose2880 The difference I think is where it's clear that Fifty Shades was shitty the moment it came out and it was practically pilloried. We have no idea what happened in Heian Japan, and if the majority of people find it great read partly because of its verisimilitude. I certainly can't get into the mindset of the era, but most people from the time might think it to be great, and that those who have a different view are in the minority.

[@blankslate7491]

Some Asian dude: *picks me up* Me: wtf Asian dude: Sex? Me: oh HELL no

[@Linfamy]

:D

[@kaedesakura9274]

so yes?

[@kaedesakura9274]

@Thot Slayer Well faking weakness is easy

[@aysseralwan]

Ah I see the token denial

[@kaedesakura9274]

@@User-LS-n5m have you even seen the Video? This is a referece.

[@Hayasssa]

That "No did not always mean No" ideology is still quite popolar in the culture where I grew up and let me tell you that is quite an annoyance for girls.

[@mrinalkiran9105]

Totally agree... It's damn annoying!

[@Hayasssa]

@@mrinalkiran9105 I once had a guy approach me at 10pm, while I was going home from night classes and was try to "get to know me" and tell his feelings, and then proceed to stalk me for the next month, becuse me telling him No wasn't enough or credible enough I guess. The worst part is he probably thought he was being romantic or manly or something 🙄🙄

[@bmona7550]

Hayasa Yeah. We should just say “never” instead of “no”. Sure it breaks the heart but better than having some stalker that’s for sure

[@Hungabrigoo]

It is quite annoying for men too... Like, if you actually take what girls say at face value, they will look at you like you went completely crazy.

[@malna-malna]

@@Hungabrigoo No.

[@beastrelmhd5312]

Genji: "Hypothetically, for the sake of argument, would you sleep with me if I was weak and pitiful?"

[@eriks1765]

I mean, Edward Cullen from Twilight is a real creep too, sneaking into a girls room and watching her sleep and stuff. But it's romantically framed, which makes it ok to break into a girls room and watch her sleep apparently. Maybe it's the same with Genji. It's creepy when you think about it, but it's written in a romantic way

[@raluca9077]

I already imagine women gossip around like : 'hah, looser, nobody dragged you to a private room yet? Pfft...way to go missy. '

[@Linfamy]

Her: "Last week I was dragged into a freaking suite" Friends: "Damn girl!"

[@raluca9077]

@@Linfamy damn, a suite? Maybe it doesn't sound that bad 🤣

[@poetanderson2495]

this reminds me of the song "baby it's cold outside. Just like women in the Heian period, western women in the 30s/40s were expected to deny romantic advances. in the song you can hear the women consistently saying that she needs to go home, but the man tries to persuade her with reasons to stay " (i.e. "it's cold outside")

[@kaninekun8451]

It reminded me of tge vine

[@thatoneguy3415]

Reminds me of those feminists ruining the song.

[@AuroraLalune]

They are literally talking about her reputation in that song. She wants to stay. He wants her to stay. Even if no sex happens people will talk tho and it could basically destroy her life. There was a lot of shit around that time. He isn't pursuing sex so much as offering a reasoning for her to give... The person she was expected to notify of her whereboughts. While not officially a thing... It was a thing at that time. Especially for more well to do women. We still see it in our culture today where women are expected to do that more often than guys and it is a much bigger deal if they do not etc. Just not quite the earth shattering scarlet letter it was at the time that song was written. The chorus of them both singing "but baby its cold outside" is an expression of mutual wish for her to stay. It is literally an illustration of all the things that would be brought up to stack against her. It was that serious an issue at the time. He is actually being respectful. I hate how sjws take that song out of context. The culture was much more strict back then.

[@AuroraLalune]

If she had really wanted to go home she would have called someone to get her or left already etc. The fact the conversation was even happening was her wish to stay. That said your not wrong. You were socially obligated to play hard to get tho many did there own thing anyway but it was different and also probably obvious all at once. The idea being if he didn't want to fight for you that he didn't really want you. There are still remnants of that today in places, usually religious groups that hold virginity in high regard.

[@Call-me-Al]

Poet Anderson : I just want to point out that in the movie where it was used, it wasn't just sung by the primary couple where the woman token protested and the man persuaded. Another couple in the movie sing it too, where the woman is the persuader and the man is the token protester. While the second couple's reversal was partially played for laughs, it still works well to show it was about token resistance and about rumors. The movie is named Neptune's Daughter and is from 1949. The biggest issue with the song these days is that as it is so out of context that a lot of people imagine it being sung by two strangers who just recently met, while the song is actually the song of an established and very loving couple. The "what's in this drink" phrase had notably shifted its default meaning too, same way "gay" doesn't just mean joyous, "boner" isn't slang for "mistakes", and "make love to me" is no longer a request to merely say sweet nothings.

[@thedemoninshadow8503]

FUN fact: Tale of genji is considered as the world's first novel Extra fact: It is also the worlds first sexual (incest) novel and psychological novel

[@humblesoldier5474]

So, you're saying she legit wrote the book for all the anime that fall into the Romance genre?

[@thedemoninshadow8503]

@@humblesoldier5474 it's not my saying, it's a historical fact

[@Dell-ol6hb]

The Demon in Shadow incest how it is it incest

[@katerinaaqu]

@@thedemoninshadow8503 Well there are other novels out there like "The tale of Shipwrecked Sailor" or "Tale of Sinuhe" in ancient Egypt that were also written like 3000 years ago. So I am not sure if the "Tale of Genji" is the first one of all but it surely is one of the first. Also what we call "incest" today was not the same as back then. Plus in Heian Japan they did not like couples like brother and sister or parent and child etc but in other places like ancient Egypt it was considered not only pretty normal but also the norm in the cases of royalty so it is all part of perspective actually.

[@toddstaples7019]

I thought the Bible was the first sexual novel psychological and incest novel . Ps i learn something new every day .

[@joseangeles8382]

Wow, I LOVE that you actually drew the Heian woman’s Junihitoe ! You didn’t have to, but it’s beautiful and I appreciate it! The Art is getting better and better! 😊👏👏

[@Linfamy]

Thanks! I appreciate it :)

[@chieftanke]

In the 80's 90's Hong Kong / Taiwan pop culture, the "忧郁“ ("You-yu" Mandarin / "Yek-wat" Cantonese ) quality is valued in a pop-star. "You-yu / Yek-wat" literally means "depressed / sad", a male / female pop-star would took sad looking photo shot for magazine and their fans would go crazy.

[@Linfamy]

That's really interesting :)

[@gonsonandenschinder]

and now we have a bunch emo rapper that get some girls crazy because they seem broken and depressed

[@boeuf-in9oe]

Summary: love games were stupid back then too

[@user-uh9sf5sg3n]

Guy: drops fan - sheds tears Woman: I am so turned on Rn

[@lucien7655]

i would be...

[@inachisio2532]

Damn I rly want to see some more Japanese literature covered. It could be nice of you made a video about literature

[@rin_etoware_2989]

So is Heian love just you being so lame in your courtship technique that she'll just sleep with you out of pity? Maybe I'll try just that.

[@Linfamy]

Not recommended nowadays... but please videotape your results

[@rin_etoware_2989]

Linfamy I don't have a video but here's the screenshot bit.ly/2JnDnEf

[@rin_etoware_2989]

also, apparently editing comments remove the heart so please re-heart it, Linfamy, or I'll die out of extreme sorrow and anguish

[@Linfamy]

That text convo...oh god I can't...

[@rin_etoware_2989]

Linfamy she can't, either, e̶s̶p̶e̶c̶i̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶I̶ ̶D̶a̶h̶m̶e̶r̶'̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶.̶

[@asamvav]

This is basically all anime summarized.

[@SlapstickGenius23]

Shonen and Kodomomuke anime included.

[@softevilkitten]

This explains soooo much hentai. And wierdly some shoujo too...

[@Nico.Robin7]

What shoujo do you read?

[@InvalidPersistentName]

@@Nico.Robin7 haha yeah!

[@J0hnHenrySNEEDen]

@@InvalidPersistentName another enligthen one i see

[@meldasaitama3449]

Kaichou wa maid sama, ookami shoujo to kuro oji, special A,

[@Даша-ы1я6т]

hahaha pretty much every josei

[@six4632]

"Keep binge watching these videos" That's what I've been doing instead of my end of the year eight page assignment--

[@Linfamy]

Priorities 🙄

[@uglarinn2715]

So way of the Samurai was a historically accurate game? My ship will dock in your harbor tonight girl!

[@watayukikimihyra7132]

I laughed too hard on that. Well play, good sir, well play.

[@DrIsis]

I was looking for this. No gamer can be a gentleman without playing WotS

[@gwolf500]

Glad I'm not the only person who plays those games.

[@DrIsis]

Itadakimaaaasu

[@lewismassie]

I'm fascinated by other societies like this. It really difficult to judge a society from within our own, so I try to get a perspective by looking at how other societies functioned and to see if our society truly is as equal and fair as we claim it to be

[@Linfamy]

Yeah that's why it's good to travel if you have the means, see different cultures

[@kray3883]

Tbh I see a lot more similarities here in the stuff that's pointed out as different. Princesses get rescued, but also the Florence Nightingale effect. Like in Back to the Future, the future mom falls in love with someone because she rescued him. Or a lot of people value "sensitive" in a partner, or the whole trope where the girl sees the guy being picked on and stands up for him. And the whole "let me tell you at length how much I'm suffering with longing" is unfortunatly still a thing and does work sometimes (although really only if the person found you already attractive)... And the strategy for dealing with it isn't much different, if you keep engaging with "noooo" then the person will keep trying to wear you down, you generally have to go with something closer to complete disinterest and disengagement (or you can try something more offensive, like reacting with disgust).

[@floggs340]

That's explain the behavior of some men in asian culture even nowadays. There us a part of heritage

[@M0hit1]

That's how I got my gd to sleep with me too.....

[@dragoncatoverload]

Thot Slayer I’m not so sure about that. There are quite a few men who want to fulfill a protector/provider role so there’s some draw to the idea of someone who you can protect because they’re weak. However it’s not top of the list and I don’t think people would want to admit that out loud because it would be somewhat frowned upon given today’s current climate surrounding gender. Also it doesn’t go both ways. Men being weak is seen as undesirable.

[@maythesciencebewithyou]

Ever been to a club? His behaviour is not much different than that of Western players. And Western women too often than not give in to those players who keep on pushing until she makes out

[@AuroraLalune]

Yeah... Some western cultures are also very similar. Not scottish tho. Lol I always wanted a strong partner whose ego was not bruised by a strong partner. A weak partner cannot have your back. A strong partner can. It is also relevant to say that this developed in different conditions and scottish women did not have the option of being weak until much later and then it was more forced upon them rather than an option.

[@nobitanobi3475]

Just cause it was in Japan it doesn't hold true for all asian culture . Curb your ignorance . This doesn't count as heritage either .

[@lemonadethefifthp389]

Random Heian man: Oh please, I'll die without you. I can't live without you! Me: Then perish. (Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be able to fit in that time period. )

[@Linfamy]

Then he kills himself to prove his love

[@annandres8483]

You are my role model

[@arjyabirhazra1135]

Well in this era, you should be like that

[@whatsup2483]

I feel like the pity protection love thing is definitely still alive modern day

[@maverickjsmith8795]

So, what I'm hearing is, a woman that made you feel you needed to protect her was considered attractive... Moe was a thing in Heian Japan?!

[@arjyabirhazra1135]

Yes, but actually...yes

[@jaredlebin4583]

You can't make me binge-watch your videos... ...because I've *ALREADY* binge-watched your videos.

[@Linfamy]

Hahaha ❤

[@cuteasduck3254]

Lmao idk why but the thought of a person dropping his fan and starting to cry out of a sudden is so funny

[@milkboiii3415]

I’m chinese and I can answer your question! Back in the 1940s to 1960s the pity love thing was viral. Right now, only sometimes.

[@Linfamy]

What is love?

[@Yng_Roshi]

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more

[@AC-hx6gk]

Pizza with extra chili. Painful, weird and something you just *NEED* to try.

[@Linfamy]

@High-Rise Haha you didn't disappoint

[@debapriyachakraborty6658]

Mystery

[@Linfamy]

@Agnes Corlin :D

[@MrSzybciutki]

wow, that really explains a lot of what you can see in anime

[@harriet2114]

loving the picture, go Daria!

[@BillPark-ey6ih]

Speaking of "protection fetish", I recall in Brother's Karamazov in which Dimitri says something like "she's not in love with me but with the idea of saving me". Just wanted to say that there is a connection to Western psychology(?). Also reminds me of Beauty and Beast.

[@BOOSTEDLCS1327]

heian FBI open up

[@ElGringoCastellano]

Metropolitan Police Board open up!

[@ginnyjollykidd]

"But you can take your time. Don't let us interrupt." 😉😉

[@walterdayrit675]

Somehow, I think this beyond the jurisdiction of the FBI, both geographically and chronologically!!

[@galladesamurai2380]

I swear office, she wanted it!

[@pitioti]

Fun Fact: One of my professor in Japanese History Study have participated to translate the Genji Monogatari in French :3 !!

[@Linfamy]

Noice

[@Nick-nb2oz]

that actually explain so many weird anime couples and ships... Like, the main guys always fall for the weaker girl, which many times is also the weakest of the girls, and he always wants to protect her, from like minute 1, not even after weeks or months of knowing each other. And same with girls really, the pathetic insisting guy that somehow gets compassion in the end- trope is also pretty common.

[@misol4337]

In my opinion Genji wasn't necessarily good or bad, more like imperfect and human, impacted by his family, stituation, luck (and lack of it), his feelings and desires and all sorts of things any other person is impacted by. You can definitely sympathize with him, and he was also described as a very attractive person as far as I know, but the story and his personality is more complex than that. He certainly did some questionable things. I think this makes it an amazing and interesting story. Thanks for the videos, peace ❤️

[@kilindogma9711]

I don't think it's necessarily pity. Ok consider this situation, you meet this girl who you know is flawed but she tries to hide her flaws from other people but decides to show it only in front of you, and it can be indicative of a trust that is established between the two of you, and now you both can work out how to fix it together. It's a invitation to a sort of teamwork that is part of the reason that a relationship stays strong. A great example of this kind of relationship is the couple Akagi and Kaji from tsurezure children (it's an anime). It will be really boring to be with a person who has got everything figured out..... that's at least according to a humble indian man such as myself (my views may not reflect the views of indian men at large)

[@Linfamy]

Some vulnerability is healthy in a relationship. I think people in the Heian took it to a whole new level though.

[@vincenttekelenburg3740]

to put it in simple words: you like people for their best qualities, you love them despite their worst.

[@Linfamy]

Well put

[@jaymanlakes5402]

If your talking about the particular example he gave us, that is pity, nothing else. Also, we all have our flaws, I think your example is to vague.

[@hanz471]

Instead of being bored of being with a perfect person, I would be more terrified of what kind of skeleton(s) that person is hiding in their closet since you know, the stronger the light is cast the darker the shadow is created.

[@orientalmisfits1504]

Notification squad where u aaaaat what a nice video right before I head to bed :)))

[@Linfamy]

I'm here!

[@aimenkhalid24]

Linfamy haha

[@church4439]

Sees the thumb nail: "seduce me" Thinks: spy from TF2 yelling "SEDUCE ME!!"

[@financialproblems9308]

spy:This is a bucket

[@sirwannabeguy4886]

“No, Spy, I am not going to...”

[@TheSonWhoCums6669]

@@sirwannabeguy4886 “SEDUCE ME!!!!”

[@Leifenguard]

In Chinese culture there is such as thing as 憐愛, also known as pity love, mostly comes from the affection towards someone or something that is relatively powerless or innocent. Perhaps a good literary example would be the character Lin Daiyu in "Story of the Stone" novel, where Lin Daiyu is emotional, physically delicate.

[@kelceylee]

I'm chinese but I am technically more comfortable with how the westerns call "LOVE"

[@positrondecay4784]

If I lived in a society with that complicated and technical of a courtship system, I would sponaneously combust from psychoanalyzing what to do when. I'm already socially awkward enough in contemporary culture. No👏thank👏you👏, Heian courtship!

[@Linfamy]

You'd have plenty of time to think about it though

[@Toria_T_]

OMG I actually found your channel through that video you mentioned in the end! I love what I'm seeing so far, the stories are so interesting! Keep being awesome!! ♥️

[@Linfamy]

Welcome! And glad you like the channel :)

[@keyofallworlds7549]

As a rape survivor, this kinda scares me, but I understand that this is from a time period and culture that is completely different from mine.

[@Linfamy]

I'm so sorry you went through that. Yeah, it's amazing how wildly different cultures can be.

[@keyofallworlds7549]

@@Linfamy It's not your fault. Just can't stand the idea that being passive is a "yes" to some people. I didn't fight back against mine because I was scared he would hurt me worse and he was someone I used to care about and would say he would die if I left. I'm not against cultural differences in courtship, I just want people to be safe.

[@Linfamy]

Agreed. And most people are just not taught consent. I don't know what they teach in sex ed these days, but that needs to be a big part of it.

[@keyofallworlds7549]

@@Linfamy I'm a college student now, so I'm not sure. I just know in my time it was about how biology worked and definitions and stds. I hope it becomes better someday. Some people, even as adults don't know any better because nobody taught them.

[@louishuang7880]

Some Chinese people that are craving might play something called a 苦肉计 witch is displaying weakness for love.

[@alourasilverman8746]

That... Actually explain a LOT of things about anime & manga that I've been wondering about !

[@EspaALSC]

Now some episodes of Ouran High School Host Club are making much more sense to me now!

[@kilonova2822]

Never once I've heard of love through pity until today

[@Linfamy]

😁👍

[@trishapandey8569]

New person here!!! Currently binge watching everything! LOVE YOUR WORK!!💖

[@Linfamy]

Welcome! Glad you like the channel :)

[@madambutterfly1997]

If someone had said something like that to me that they would just die if they couldn't have me I would personally give them a steak knife or tell them they still have their belt and shoelaces

[@selfimprovement5873]

Brutal dude...

[@JanelleLynn392]

Is that why all the male leads in historical dramas spit up blood and squeeze out the tears

[@otakuking69]

thanks for the tutorial. ill make sure to try this out

[@Linfamy]

Oh noes 😣

[@viifaz]

i believe James Bond read some Heian literature at least once

[@jaesaun2517]

Huh. So that's where the MoE and Protecc concept originated from.

[@sydneyslaughter7163]

Oh, my dog, I’m having Wuthering Heights flashbacks!

[@TheStarcoMarco]

Can you do a video about Shogun? I wanna know how Shogun system looks like and why it failed in 1860s. By the way I'm gonna subscribe to your channel.

[@superchatoalien4905]

Because America threatened shogunate and some people managed to make Japan more as strong as western countries.

[@tiresias7231]

2:09 ...WOW. That explains Love Hina.

[@aleryaniahmed5972]

2:20 So you mean simping?

[@carrienicholasxo415]

Don't know how I found this channel, but love it

[@mishi6626]

Your illustrations are so cute and very entertaining. Great job!

[@shivamthapa7303]

Damn that period in Japan was interesting to live in to say the least.

[@Linfamy]

Agreed =)

[@ramildakila1334]

0:33 Should've offered the "mating press" lol

[@nancylenza2969]

You don’t want me to die do you? Me: actually I do!

[@Linfamy]

Ouch

[@bingkwanlee]

Responding to your question: My take on Chinese ideas on love, sex and gender is that they have changed from dynasty to dynasty and into the modern era for sure. Looking at literature for examples (though this was reflective of the literati rather than the masses), late Ming really got into sexual indulgence (Plum in Golden Vase), the Qing Dynasty saw the emergence of the "fragile scholar" as a model archetype (Dream of the Red Chamber) and even same-sex theatre prostitution became en vogue, whereas during the Song and Yuan you saw more brutal, misogynist men like the heroes in Water Margin. In a recent conversation with a friend from Hong Kong, it seems like some girls there look to Britain as a romantic place and situate the "English gentleman/chivalry" as a romantic ideal which baffles me a bit.

[@adenwilson304]

Even in the 50's we've had similar things. The song "Baby It's cold outside" by Dean Martin. There was big uproar recently about the song as it seemed like he coerced/forced her to stay the night, when in reality it was part of the times. She was offering token resistance "what will the other girls think, etc". All not things that would be acceptable today. But different cultures different rules.

[@nickryan6787]

Similar to the previous comment, here in Sarawak, you have to fight a powerful Headhunter or be the the powerful Headhunter but need the love interest's blessings. that's the *Dayaks* for you, But that's a veryyy old tradition, we don't do that anymore because it seems vile and cruel. Btw I'm an *Iban* which is also one of the *Dayak people* that practiced that tradition a long time ago

[@mharyampunzalan9607]

That's how i married my Husband btw cool vid dude i am binge watching your vids.

[@Linfamy]

You kidnapped him?

[@mharyampunzalan9607]

Nah he asked me to runaway with him. And told me how sad and lonely he was i felt sorry... Then boom married haha

[@Linfamy]

Oh wow! Glad it turned out alright :D

[@debapriyachakraborty6658]

Mystery indeed.

[@themysteriousnavi6850]

Mharyam Punzalan I mean so long as you consent to his advances, then I have no reason to be offended! 🙂

[@igor-yp1xv]

1:37 You caught me totally off guard here

[@yothiga]

Oh wow, reminds me of the most famous leading man in the famous poet story in the same era in Thailand. Dude crying to the point of passing out so many times in the story. Only good point of him is be able to play flute. Can’t fight. Got abducted by woman and had to be rescued by his children and other woman through out the story. But he is sooo popular in (female) readers of the time we have to read this story in school today.

[@dallasdelay3468]

Jerry from Rick and Morty would be good in that period of Japan

[@LouisPhung999]

Will you talk about the two monks, Kukai and Saicho since you're covering the Heian period?

[@Monosekist]

As a Korean, this explains my sense of humor, that is to say, enjoying the failure of others.

[@Linfamy]

Haha :p

[@Rainomai]

Am I the only one here 4 years later just binge watching his videos?

[@Linfamy]

Binge away :)

[@Rainomai]

@@Linfamy I’ve binged since 12am and it’s almost 5pm……. Time really flies by lol, also can you consider making more yokai videos? Ive even gotten my friends to watch them (more like forcing them)

[@Rainomai]

@@Linfamy day 2 of binging :)

[@lastchance7238]

Honestly this is still a very real thing even today..when men abuse women, if a woman is not mentally strong enough to be mean and raise her voice and gets scared or panicks shes in trouble

[@AzureDragon100]

Chinese here, never heard of the pity angle, doesn't sound right.

[@26183]

1000 years is a long time.

[@Linfamy]

Yeah I kinda imagine it's not a popular opinion these days. Or maybe it depends on location.

[@jaymanlakes5402]

The history is somewhere in the rubbles.

[@AzureDragon100]

@OWLofATHENS Point, but I'd argue it leans more towards displaying cuteness and affection. Plus men don't tend to 撒嬌anyway.

[@Husky818]

What? So mangy ancient poems talk about pity-love，the phrase 堪怜 (to be pitied) alone appeared in sooooo many places. And there are sooooo many examples....

[@str_brst8979]

6:12 90% of viewers be like: hi :)

[@Linfamy]

heyy

[@InvalidPersistentName]

Hi ;]

[@ladyseshiiria]

I wish someone would make a channel like this for China. I want to get as much info as possible for my writing projects.

[@JordiAran]

*watching this video, realizing something about the general trend of my favorite characters* oh God damnit

[@calvelinkchencen]

Reading the comments I realise that the "pity love" concept was definitely strong in the middle ages and up to World War I in Europe too. that is where the term "damsel in distress" comes from, who needs to be saved. I read many books about small, frail, weak, melancholic and even sickly women that made men go wild. It activates the protective instinct, the "knight in shining armour". Maybe there is a similar thing with women when they find a man who is sad/depressed/needs the warmth of a woman kind of thing that activates the "i can save him" complex. Maybe we are all not so different afterall.

[@oo-zx9bv]

I dropped my fan. MARRY ME

[@Linfamy]

Hot

[@darkangelprincess101]

This video is two years old, how I'm I just now seeing it for the first time

[@Linfamy]

:D

[@YukihyoShiraki]

This is uncomfortably informative about my choices in past relationships..........

[@anubhadey648]

A strong women is always beautiful😌♥️

[@simransimran9339]

OK, OK, OK, now so many historical anime, WN and LN make sense!! It's not a Cinderella/tortured hero trope but it's this!!!

[@Icyvix]

This contradicts everything I learned in health class about no meaning no and refusal skills. Though I act more like this than what I was taught.

[@luckyguy71]

Homosexuality was accepted and practiced frequently in ancient Japan - especially in the Buddhist Monasteries. It would be interesting if you did a video on Historic attitude toward homosexuality as well.

[@christianbarnhart8748]

If only women were like this today I actually might get some😢

[@Linfamy]

Oh noes. Sending love

[@lilianorubiano175]

Ew....

[@bittu2507]

@@Linfamy sending love

[@Linfamy]

@bittu ❤

[@yansakuya1]

This is in Japan and some places in China, plus genji is a prince? I can't remember, but he is definitely not low rank. So you would not get some even in ancient times.

[@rabbiteighteen4012]

Aristocrats be like that in every culture and throughout the ages

[@ElGringoCastellano]

So that's where Tsuunderes come from.

[@SlapstickGenius23]

Yandere also comes from Mesopotamian mythology depending on how old the concept is, even though it only had its Japanese name being introduced into the West 2 decades ago.

[@morsch2028]

Wait the last video blew up ? Explains why it was in my recommended

[@Mark_nobody3]

The woman “That feel good” 🥰 The man “You were too wild, but please be more gentle” 😞

[@miki_mochi]

I think this exists to some degree even in modern western cultures. For example, I know a lot of men who love the idea of protecting a woman. In fact, one of my ex's had this problem quite badly. He'd always fall for a girl who was in a bad situation and needed to be "protected" or "helped". I was in a pretty bad situation myself at the time. Though, I suspect for him it was more because it created a power dynamic where the girl was dependent on him and thus he had more leverage and power. Some guys probably like this dynamic but many others probably just love the idea of protecting and caring for something. After all, many humans enjoy this aspect of owning pets too. And I don't mean to say that in a way that implies men view women in a similar way to pets - just that we as humans enjoy caring for another being. It's also not uncommon for women to want a "problem" man (not necessarily a "bad guy" but also a guy down on his luck or what have you) so that she can "fix him" (we've all heard this before, right?) which I believe is also similar to this concept. Human beings like to feel needed. Anyway, I think it's surprisingly common so this "game" of displaying weakness makes sense. I don't know for sure but I'm guessing confidence was also attractive at that time period but the idea that they lose confidence around you specifically and "cannot live" without you or "can't control themselves" around you - they want you so badly, it's a need... this idea is what was attractive to them.