The Skinny Propaganda | 'Thin Shaming vs Fatphobia'

[@TeeNoir]

Hi everyone! Mikey also supports a people-driven fund where 100% of the money goes into the pockets of Black women! facebook.com/loveonblackwomen/ You can also donate meals for children in Gaza: www.launchgood.com/campaign/provide_nutritious_meals_for_children_in_gaza#!/ And stay informed by following credible outlets and news sources. Both links are also listed in the description.

[@dymonewilliams1192]

Hi beautiful

[@elegant.destiny]

As an individual who has been overweight their whole life and has struggled with my mentality on my body and size, I appreciate you, my sista, for having this conversation.

[@ambriaashley3383]

thank you for those resources!! I will definitely check those out 🖤

[@ГалинаХолмецкая]

Love, fruits and berries to you!Thanks for the video

[@catlinn6871]

Hi I hope you see this but what was the name of the podcast I'm really interested

[@itsnotthatdeepluv]

tiktok is notorious for backhanded compliments in the “i love that you’re so confident!🥺” type way and it’s so frustrating to see. people are far too obsessed with other people’s bodies & it’s so WEIRD hereee🤢

[@JK-yj7cg]

Exactly like why should they NOT be confident though, when they aren't doing anything wrong by not conforming to society's insane body standards :\

[@jackierobot4830]

Yes! I post progress pics of my Fx makeup projects, or costumes I'm making, on my snapchat, and when I label something a "progress pic" I get pithy encouragement from skinny people telling me that I look great, and I shouldn't give up. Like, Bitch, ive got a 4 in bloody gash on my arm (fake) and you think I'm talking about my hips cause they're not cropped out? tf.

[@jordan-my2vl]

@@jackierobot4830 yeah im skinny and like it still makes ME self conscious when i see others make comments like that bc whyre u even thinking about it thats not the point of the video 🤨

[@aliceam7566]

Whenever I personally say I love their confidence, I mean it because my family bombards me daily about how fat I am and how much back titties I got. I love crop tops, but I always put on a sweater over it. I only open the jacket when I’m home alone in my room.

[@biancadesousa]

if you have ONE flaw (acne, crooked teeth, anything honestly) tik tok comments will be filled with pointing it out. I remember vine and it never was that bad on there, and it’s definitely not as bad on other platforms like YT or instagram. Yes an occasionally comment but not every single one. it’s kind of weird because as we know tik tok is mostly kids so it’s probably gen z making those comments yet we’re supposed to be the most woke generation.

[@Shanspeare]

Lizzo is the real life embodiment of “see now why am I in it? I ain’t even did nothing.”

[@chelsi.mp4]

Found your channel through Tee! And I haven't looked back since.🤞🏽 Thank you for introducing me to the topic of femininity in hollywood and the channel film fatales, it's where I drew inspiration for my "femininity in hollywood and why the mean girl is always demonized" video so big big thanks to both of you

[@CassieJazz96]

Lol exactly

[@lesbiangoddess290]

Fr. Like leave the talented woman alone

[@romanzolanski2948]

"Lizzo is the embodiment of being an insecure person. I don't hate her because I don't know her but she is just problematic and makes things about her being fat. She puts on a cover trying to hide her insecurity but I see right throw it." - Lizzo haters say Even though they don't know anything about the woman

[@mewmew6158]

Don't feed the troll

[@kansiyoegwuonwu6907]

"Normalizing something doesn't mean promoting it. It means minding your own business." This really stuck to me.

[@agathachris9722]

Normalizing something does indeed mean promoting it. I wonder did you think that near death models who wanted to look the way they did weren't promoting anorexia, just normalizing it.

[@zthetajulietta8184]

@@agathachris9722 as someone that went through dealing with the hell of anorexia, I don’t like to see it it weaponize in the discourse of body shaming. People with Ed’s don’t go through it in hopes of normalizing and glamorizing it to every person that looks at them. It’s a mental disorder and compulsion and they are stuck in their own insular world and habits to even have a brain cell left to worry about what kind of message they’re putting out to the world because of their illness. A naturally thinner woman that is thin in the “wrong way” ie. no breast or ass being shamed is not to be conflated with unnaturally thin bodies that is a detriment to your health via an eating disorder. Normalizing cellulite/stretch marks/no thigh gap/bellies and bodily difference is just that-treating people normally. No outrage, no condescension, no patronizing, no shaming, no bullying. I doubt anyone that has anything outspoken to say about bigger or smaller women say it out of genuine love or concern. They’ll spit in your face and call it “tough love” f them.

[@Bayo106]

it stuck with you but it's stupidity and makes no sense/ is just a lie. normalizing something means making it normal aka making it okay think of something thats actually bad, and think of 'normalizing it' I'm sure you can see that normalizing things indeed does mean promoting or at least CONDONING

[@bababla8528]

So we're just gonna let obesity levels rise? We can expect human life expectancy to start going down then.

[@XiELEd4377]

@@bababla8528 I think the key is not to blame the people themselves, but the factors in which led them to it. A lot of food (at least in America) are designed to be addictive, sometimes at the cost of adding calories and added sugar to it. Hell, even food from America are banned or modified in the EU. Of course fat people would still exist, but at least they won't have malnutrition from all the empty calories, and their insulin wouldn't be as fucked, 'cuz for murica, sugar is the most widely abused drug. Also, bonus fun fact: depending on ethnicity you could be more or less predisposed to excess adipose issues. East Asians for example, experience more problems with being fat than westerners, because they are genetically more prone to visceral fat, so their BMI cut-off for overweight starts at 23 instead of 25. Sumo Wrestlers even have to do exercises in order for their fat to remain subcutaneous.

[@ivybee347]

Especially in the black community..... we cant win. Fat shaming or skinny shaming..... if you don't have a huge ass Disney tiny waist and nice thighs you're not a black woman.

[@bruhhhebrooo5269]

Exactly! In the black community even if you’re curvy if you got a stomach, stretch marks, rolls big arms etc you’ll get bullied and harassed and you still won’t be the standard. It’s like beauty standards in the black community is so much more restrictive and harder to achieve than the general western beauty standard.

[@ShanyShannon]

Exactly 😑

[@dejstoney]

@@bruhhhebrooo5269 not only that black men dehumanize black women based on their body shapes. We are sexualized more than other races. Our Hiphop and rap culture is too overly sexual, mistreating BW because of it.

[@jazzy5410]

This is exactly what I’m going through rn.

[@xceptionalstudios8489]

EXACTLY!! I absolutely ABHOR thr term "bad built" or sayings like it because first of all...how fucking dare you! Like who are you to tell me (and Jesus, inadvertently) that I am "built" incorrectly. Like it's fucking rude and just so disrespectful and WE MADE IT UP! Any black girl who just looks regular and has a regular body and regular hair is basically just wallpaper or invisible to most of the black community and it's really sad

[@jadapaige9775]

If you’re skinny you still have to have a round butt and hips with an hourglass figure. They want⏳skinny not 🚪skinny. And if you’re plus sized you need an unreasonably small waist for your size with no cellulite and a cute thigh gap but still have thick thighs like a fashionova model. Otherwise you’re the “wrong kind of skinny” or the “wrong kind of plus sized” Wow.

[@trixieagustina6163]

EXACTLY

[@loveoflife3081]

Yup the life of a women 😒

[@bajabl]

"This ain't build-a-bitch workshop!"

[@violetrayne]

if you have surgery to meet those standards, they call you fake. Just love yourself because there is no satisfying them.

[@ArtisticlyAlexis]

We've taken the hourglass figure to an insane degree, expecting every woman's frame to be formed with a bust & booty, but no waist or signs of rolls or bones allowed. So very few women are shaped like that naturally: many of us have of one or more aspects of bodies that doesn't naturally match that silhouette.

[@MyHairyRoommates]

I wish existing didn't have to be such a big deal. We all look the way we look. Everyone should just be excited we got up in the morning.

[@nemi6265]

Exactly🙄👎🏾

[@choux8372]

That would be so nice, but people always gotta open their mouths 😩

[@tblmoon]

@@choux8372 fr

[@unabruja624]

I mean that last part, about waking up, kinda hard lol, but i agree

[@ciera_danyel]

THIS.

[@imani0nline]

The hyper focus in our society over peoples bodies and how they are perceived according to beauty standards is insane. This kind of makes me sometimes want to throw away the whole body positivity and just fully adopt radical self acceptance, because your body’s value should not be determined whether doesn’t someone views your body as beautiful or not, The fact that it is a living breathing body means that it is inherently valuable.

[@metoo3342]

It's not beauty standards it's people's health. There's an obesity epidemic and people should be trying get action done to solve it not trying to accept them.

[@annest.5356]

I feel this so much. I am so grateful for all the wonderful people in the body positive and fat acceptance movement who've educated me in my late teens until now but recently I've been feeling so drained by the constant need to justify my existence in a body. Let me live (and I know that it is a privilege to be able to just opt out of fighting for these things). Social media makes things feel overwhelming sometimes even if it's intended to be positive and empowering. People have always been fat, always been skinny, always been everything inbetween and beauty ideals change so rapidly it's insane.

[@No1PlutoSupporter]

Look into body neutrality !!! It goes beyond body positivity

[@Bubbles603]

@@metoo3342 OK but why do people automatically assume plus-sized people are unhealthy? So many skinny girls out there struggle with eating disorders but if a plus-sized girl goes to order something at KFC she's treated like she's a food addict. The double standard is clear, nobody's saying we should normalise obesity; we're trying to normalise bodies

[@metoo3342]

@@Bubbles603 Because Being plus sized does automatically make you unhealthy and increases your risk for basically everything and being skinny does not. It's.not a double standard they're just not equivalent.

[@rylieseitz9095]

I would also like to add how eating disorders are seen in skinny people as opposed to fat people. I can say from personal experience that eating disorders in skinny people are rightfully met with feedback and people who want to help but I often see in fat people with eating disorders people are shocked. And if we take a second to ask why it also shows how fat phobia is ingrained in mental health, because I can say this over and over again but eating disorders are never about weight.

[@haileyquinnzel]

No literally. A girl who USED TO HAVE AN EATING DISORDER would literally fat shame me with my other pos friends while I was on a diet in which I lost 40lbs in 2 months. Saying I would’ve lost so much more weight If i just did “this” or “that” and regardless of mt weight loss, I want getting any compliments until I was small enough. This girl was also a chain smoker. Little did she realize, compulsive eating/overeating/food addiction is an ED, and she was perpetuating the same behavior that hurt her because, as she and others said, “it’s only because we care about you” 🙄🙄🙄

[@riba2219]

As a person who struggled with ED my entire life and got skinny shamed by friends and family. Skinny shaming often get swept under the rug

[@elliegoulding744]

Only an ignorant would think that you have to look skinny to have an eating disorder. I see bigger people with eating disorders all the time, but they just look big.

[@espeon871]

@@riba2219 its not systemic tho, like you guys can find your size, and is the beauty standard for like most countries and dont get denied jobs cuz of your body type, you guys max get your feelings hurt, fat people's lives and material conditions are worse

[@riba2219]

@@espeon871 ok fat people are victims and skinny people are evil. Is that what you want to hear? Seriously whenever a severely underweight person mentioned their struggles you guys cannot wait to discredit them. I did not say overweight people had life easier, what I'm saying is underweight people have different spectrum of struggles. Nah skinny isn't always the ideal weight if you're severely underweight like Eugenia Cooney type skinny which I've been before. And yes I was denied jobs because they said I'd frighten customers. Now shut up

[@TarekAli]

Thank you so much for your kind words and mention. It means so much you have no idea. literally. So grateful for you, your mind, your work, your contribution to society. sending so much love

[@mayaj8855]

I love watching your videos!!! It makes me so happy two of my favorite creators enjoy each others' work :) sending you so much love and support

[@TeeNoir]

Thanks for your content and constant inspiration 🥰💖

[@byulharangforlife]

@@mayaj8855 your name is a vibe

[@dreamy_daze4]

Bro, you know anything about Libras yet

[@mayaj8855]

@@byulharangforlife stoppp I’m literally watching Saiki rnn

[@kimberlyskits7241]

I hate to be that person who brings race into it but I feel like as a black girl my experience has been different. Something i’ve noticed is that it’s an expectation for black women to be curvy. A guy said it to my face once, told me how flat I was for a black girl and how black girls should be curvy. I’m accepted in society because of my figure but not amongst my own people.

[@azereth338]

don’t feel bad for “bringing in race” because society brought it in the first place. I understand that, the struggles of something will always be different on a black person bc they just experience all aspects of their life differently💖

[@swxxtella7469]

I’ve never related to something more than this. for those reasons I started dating non black men because I guess I feel more desirable

[@blackglitteremoji3054]

Fatphobia is rooted in anti blackness. Don’t feel bad about bringing race into it!

[@kilimanjaro5537]

I co-sign this sister 😤

[@luisanaencarnacion6050]

This, this is it! As an afro-latina specifically being Dominican it's been really hard for me. Dominican women are known for having big butts and the curvy body as you said. I've grown up seeing my family members who have these bodies yet I don't. I'm skinny and I've gotten shamed for it since elementary. Everyday I think to myself, why Can't have a bigger butt or bigger breasts but its mainly the butt for me. I've come to terms with my small breasts.

[@claire9060]

As a fat person I feel like confidence is associated with audacity. It's like how dare you be confident when you're so clearly not what you're supposed to be. People get angry that you have the audacity to not hate your body when they hate it.

[@PorcupineGirl]

Eloquently and accurately stated, Claire.

[@takemeseriouslynt]

You couldn't have worded it more perfectly, sometimes they "accept" your body, and aren't trying to say you should lose weight / gain any, but only as long as you're miserable in it. And if that aint people in general. They all want you to succeed till you put the work and effort, and the attitude that comes with it then they the first to put you down. It's really sad.

[@affionge]

So true!

[@Dr.Sharron]

Love you. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@Dr.Sharron]

@whenuknow uno , there are many people who are unhappy and have low-self esteem, when you present the happiness that they, who are skinny, do not present.

[@tiffanymckenzie1236]

When ppl talk about this issue and take the “I care about their health” route, have you ever considered the detrimental mental health struggles you are perpetuating when you fat shame ppl in the name of caring about their longevity of life? Mental health issues are just as deadly. Let ppl live and be confident no matter if they are overweight and on a weight loss journey or not. Same with underweight ppl.

[@mica8701]

its really funny (not) that the same people concern trolling fat people will turn around and either turn a blind eye to or even promote diet culture, which nutritionists have been criticizing as long as it's existed. it's never been about how "healthy" someone is: the goal is the sense of superiority and applying the external pressure to control other people's bodies

[@agathachris9722]

It's very simple. Society usually advises against things that are over all detrimental to society and the normalization of obesity is one of them. If society should have a problem with anorexia, it shoukd have the same problem with obesity.

[@mica8701]

@Cassandra Tafoya but also dont moralize health because disabilities (from chronic to terminal to neurodivergent) exist, alongiside with other external factors like poverty and food deserts. it's good to advocate for body education so people know how to take care of their bodies and so people can avoid being scammed by people looking to profit, but it's also good to stay aware of the fact that not everyone can achieve even a low standard of "healthiness" not saying you moralized health, this is just something i'm compelled to add to most conversations about health and nutrition

[@mica8701]

@Cassandra Tafoya yes exactly !! you said it beautifully succinctly :-)

[@FriendshipIsMagic1998]

@@katie1902 Where did you get that statistic? Because it looks like you pulled it from thin air based on anecdotal evidence lol.

[@UnfilteredMay]

'there is not a fat person on this earth who owes you an apology or an explanation for their existence' omg Tee never misses!

[@eleanorlanpher34]

Insight!

[@a.seldenrath4173]

Made me tear up

[@kenyannationalist1061]

Society isn't obligated to find you attractive. Conform as well as you can, or continue whining about beauty standards.

[@KathrinePandell]

I need that on a t-shirt please!

[@liainahamilton6615]

@@kenyannationalist1061 marshall please exit stage left with all that bullshit

[@shantanakillingbeck332]

One thing about Khloe Kardashian is I remember when I was younger people would say she is the “ugly sister” and “fat sister” wayyyy back when the first episode of KUWTK aired. I think she has more going on then what people think 😞

[@Eyeluv2d]

My friends bf told me I looked like khloe when I was 16 and I was pissed Ngl

[@hiwelcometochillis2579]

Aren't all of them were described as "the ugly or unusual beauty" ? In the 2000's people said they were exotic looking

[@jude2032]

@@hiwelcometochillis2579 Likely because 99% of women on tv in the 2000's were skinny white women...

[@xander_k_]

@@hiwelcometochillis2579 Everyone thought Kim and Kourtney were hot back then, at least that’s how it seemed when I was a kid.

[@ToniCarrington]

@@lividsunshine8968 how/when did Kathy imply that? She’s a whole comedian and gets along fine with kris Jenner and lived next door to Kim & Kanye at one point. She was also one of the first ones to call out Ellen DeGeneres when nobody believed her.

[@melanated_princess2763]

You ever notice when a skinny person posts pictures of food on their Instagram and say “I love food” or “food is my husband” people agree and laugh and make it into a trend. But when a plus size person does it then they get negative backlash. “That’s why your fat” or “ you need a salad” it’s weird. I’ve noticed that 😒

[@blueisblue599]

Right! People don't realize just cuz you're skinny doesn't mean your insides are healthy. Also adding on I've seen skinny people post videos of them scarfing down cake, pizza etc and like you said people laugh but a fat person could post themselves eating one chicken nugget and get so much hate.

[@deeb1124]

It’s kinda like posting with the girls a night out drinking vs posting a selfie of day drinking while you’re under housearrest for your 5th DUI

[@lesbiangoddess290]

Ooooo, not alot of people want here that but it must be said

[@Jaimelikegem]

@@blueisblue599 I lot of skinny people post like that for the gram or the story for their followers bc its relatable and ppl love food porn and it humanizes the influencer, but they don't actually eat it bc its bad for them and won't keep them looking the way they do. Just something I've observed as well

[@mewmew6158]

@@deeb1124 No, it's not. Unless you have (for example) a binge eating disorder that you've disclosed to your followers and are posting a spread you're eating all by yourself, how tf can you come to that conclusion? Making people feel bad for eating is not the way to "help" people. Your comment makes so many assumptions, just like people who are fat phobic. You have no idea how many times someone has eaten that day from a picture, that should be obvious. You want fat people to not eat or enjoy food, that's what you just said. Being an alcoholic with a DUI and drinking is not the same as eating while fat.

[@homyachik]

The medical topic hit me so hard. My father literally died, because his doctor overlooked his medical history and attributed all the symptoms to his weight. She said that he had to lose weight as fast as possible and he followed her advice going from 140 to 115kg in 8 months, but his heart gave in. During autopsy it was found out that there were a lot of scar tissue on his heart which had been caused by a heart attack 10 years before, so it would be absolutely dangerous for my father to exercise as it could put even more strain on the heart. Yet that was what the doctor told him to do - actively exercise to lose weight. Of course, he ended up having a heart failure. The doctor should have studied his medical history and underlying issues more instead of giving the most generic and lazy recommendation. I still can't fully forgive her. Maybe my father would be now alive if it wasn't for her.

[@devillass6025]

People are all about minding their own business until they see someone that looks or act different than them.

[@Rayglisse]

due to the projection they make _themselves_ in their own heads too!

[@JadetheGoober]

I wish we could send them all to their own island to judge each other

[@tiffanyferg]

omg just a few hours ago I was like “where’s Tee?? 🥺” so I’m stoked to see this but also yes always take your time!! 💞

[@elliegood7547]

same

[@alyssaallan8833]

I just came from your channel! Nice to see you here too 😊

[@welcome2theedawn]

Omg my fave supporting my other fave 🙏🏼

[@meliycon-roma4112]

literally same

[@princestory26]

legends only!!!!! omg i hope yall collab

[@emilyartful]

Your comment about forcing yourself to finish a meal hit home so hard.

[@adricsoti3719]

same🤚😭 high school flashbacks

[@jorilysmatos69]

I can't even do that, my ARFID will make me throw up after forcing the food down.

[@HiHello-cw9vc]

@@handsomerat5926 haha *same*

[@jittybug4188]

@@handsomerat5926 omg I cannot relate to a comment MOREEE! 😭

[@toomuchpassion2361]

My experiences were the opposite. I remember being so hungry that I wanted to eat all of my food, but I stop halfway and tell everyone that I was full so that they wouldn't call me a fatty.

[@swaibafaisal8916]

As someone who has been on both sides of the spectrum ( I was overweight, developed anorexia and am now underweight) fat phobia is definitely worse than skinny shaming. I’ll never ever forget how I was treated when I was bigger. The amount of people that have said to me that I’ve had a ‘glow up’ and I’ve ‘changed for the better’ despite me being 100x happier and healthier when I weighed more shows how they see being skinny as being superior. It’s sick that this is what society has turned into

[@rockwall_]

I apologise for you going through that.

[@zdravokakosi146]

Thats your expirence. Fatphobia and skinny shamong hurt the same.

[@swaibafaisal8916]

@@zdravokakosi146 hey I’m slightly recovered now and my opinions rn are that they’re both horrible things. The hurt isn’t more/less/the same it’s just different hurts. Both should be taken seriously but they are different problems that require different solutions

[@rockwall_]

@@zdravokakosi146 fat phobia is systematic kind of oppression, skinny shaming is not.

[@zdravokakosi146]

@@rockwall_ so what? Dosent mean skinny shaming is less of a problem

[@alyssapinon9670]

“Normalizing something doesn’t mean promoting it. It means minding your business if it exists and it’s not harming you.” Best take on normalizing fat bodies!!! This is why I’m subscribed. Even if I see someone in public who’s severely overweight or underweight I’m not going to go up and tell them how unhealthy they are because it’s not my place to do so and they probably already know! They’re just trying to exist

[@eliana8834]

Literally, it is not our job to “fix” someone when they’re just existing like leave them alone and fight your own demons you’re projecting 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@ramiyahlee6108]

Righttt people see a fat a fat person and suddenly they’re a nutrition 🤨

[@rhahavyb]

On top of that we have no idea WHERE that person is on that journey. you have no idea whether that person is honestly struggling with it everyday. I used to be 5’2 and 200 lbs and the ONLY way I got healthier was when I left and removed myself from people who commented on my weight. On top of that, I would be in THE PROCESS of losing weight (when you lose 20 lbs and you’re already bigger, people don’t notice that weight loss but YOU do), and people will still feel like they wanna put in their 2 cents bc they see a “fat person” and just that, a fat person, not a human being on a journey

[@LoXena]

@@ramiyahlee6108 So true when an overweight person post a selfie suddenly you see tons of Instadoctors on their comments.

[@freerights6695]

True but I think it's still good to have a society that encourages a healthy weight - not necessarily having no fat, but being extremely over/under weight shouldn't be something that's admired or promoted imo. It should be a temporary weight rather than a permanent one.

[@a.patel1]

i do understand that the kardashians made beauty standards so imaginable impossible to achieve, but i can’t help but think that they went and got the “perfect body” because of beauty standards that were already in place. they just had the funds to follow them to a tee and make people think it was achievable.

[@TeeNoir]

This is a fair assessment

[@tamaraj4745]

I agree 100 percent

[@roxie6884]

people also always conveniently forget that they cyberbullied the kardashians over their appearances.

but their cement-filled diaper booties aren't beautiful, I think a skinny body with perky boobs and a booty is a higher beauty standard than chubby centaur butts

[@graaaaaaaaaaaaaaace]

Johannes Tesssema I think trying to state which bodies are preferable is missing the point of the video. What does it matter if boobs are perky? What does it matter if a woman has "centaur butt"? Doesn't that still put down women with saggier chests, and women with wide hips & larger rear ends?

[@bhargavi49]

I'm is so distraught about the fact that Justin's therapist BODY SHAMED HIM. A THERAPIST. I'm so disgusted and horrified that a child had to go through that when he was seeking help. It takes emotional courage to go to any sort of therapy and it shocks me to see unprofessionalism in a workspace where being vulnerable is key. I've had struggles with my body as well and I swear, if my therapist ever told me to 'work' on my weight I would have spiralled. Sending love to all the people who are still battling loving their bodies and embracing who they are. Hopefully, you will find good and kind resources to help with your journey.

[@Ash-pp6yt]

I think I would have just never gone back and have gone to the toilet and cried for some time, smh. When i heard it at first i thought she was trying maybe to be helpful as a health professional but bruhhhhh... so painful to hear, i hope she got fired and her liscence taken away. Medical professionals really have to be careful with what they say and do. I've already heard similar things so i can relate, kinda.

[@Frwill126]

And had she focused on the other things instead, that probably would have addressed what she felt was a weight problem! Sometimes people do find comfort in food but she didn’t even give him a chance to see if that was an issue for him. She should have been guiding him instead

[@aquaaria3489]

And it isn't even her job

[@emilyvera8538]

It's should be a sin as a health specialist to disconnect our mental health from the physical health, they go hand by hand!

[@vjapple3083]

A therapist shamed me for not crying or feeling sad when talking about an emotional movie. It happens

[@tarasouthwell6132]

Medical bias: a friend had a rash the doctor said was because she was fat. Turns out she had the shingles and almost died

[@agnese2944]

I kinda understand blaming joint pain and heart problems on fatness, but a rash? Where is the logic?

[@boo-la-la_666]

Only thing I can think of that it could have been linked to via weight would be a fungal skin infection. I don't know how true it is but my GP Tod me bigger people were more prone to developing them.

[@girlsdrinkfeck]

fat people more likely to die with shingles , i had shingles and i was 11% bodyfat, it came and went with no issue

[@frillylily8005]

@@girlsdrinkfeck True but not every shingle problem is a wight problem

[@lalac7207]

I've been skinny shamed and fat shamed. My overall response is "F them." I looked good either way. If u don't love it, then move around.

[@alexiabowen4035]

I know that’s right... f their feelings🤞🏾

[@herlittledove]

I got skinny shamed and fat shamed as well ... when I was skinny, I sometimes could not eat, as I only thaught about eating as a duty (people would give me like comments to eat instead of saying "enjoy your meal"; nobody ask, wether I chose to be skinny or if it was rather a given to circumstances), not pleasure, and when I weight more people always commented my behind and bust ... but partly they were jealous caus my proportions were always good. I hope You feel good in Your body. I rather focus on my soul right now. Gives me peace and my weight has come to a "normal" weight.

[@esem1367]

That’s so sad frustrating and true. Totally understand the feeling of both. I was bullied relentlessly for being fat. I lost weight became super obsessively healthy and lost a lot of weight. Lost all my curves and got bullied for that. I’ve never been ok with my weight.

[@herlittledove]

@@esem1367 oh I hope You find peace I realized, that the best is to please God... People are always going to look for a reason to complain

[@eautifuleagle4776]

Right, don't hang around rain clouds because then you'll become one.

[@nadirimyers6643]

“When You're Accustomed to Privilege, Equality Feels Like Oppression” 💯

[@gimmeyourankles]

I'm using this for the rest of my life, facts 📣

[@roxywyndham]

💯 facts!

[@bandaqueenlove9134]

👏🏾👏🏾

[@ap3055]

women mostly relate to that quote. They say they want equality but want to keep the benefits of traditionalism and modernism.

[@littlem9865]

@@ap3055 what? This comment is low-key for white people and men. The only women with privilege are white women because of their race.

[@Terroroki]

As a 14 year old girl i wanna give my perspective, if im too skinny, i dont eat enough or i need some “meat on my bones”, if im chubby, its gross or im disgusting, if im curvy im “looking for attention”. We could never win🙂

[@chenmae9747]

Your literally 14, live your life, eat a lot (Be healthy, don’t go overboard.) You’ll gain and loose that weight when getting more older

[@bluevillsplash]

Be a child please. Enjoy ☺️ your childhood 1st before you get harmed by this bs. Stay active and eat wise. Your weight may fluctuate, it may not. I'm the same 116 for over a 15yrs. I'm more shocked to gain weight than lose it. Most ppl don't know ish. They know what they wish they looked like and project that bs on you. Enjoy your health.

[@slaymarie_rdh_2B]

You’re exactly right, so all in all do what makes you happy ppl always gonna talk

[@NubianQueen_xo]

Your experience is valid ❤️🙏🏾. When I was 14, I went through the same thing. I’ll be turning 26 soon as I still deal with the same comments. My advice to you would be to take it a day at a time and know that you are beautiful. Take pictures of yourself to uplift your confidence and also point out everything you like about yourself. I still do it to this day and it gets me through. Love yourself darling!💕💖 P.s- when you get to this age (26) just know it’s wild how many people will be searching for themselves. But, you’ll already know yourself because you stayed true to you the whooole time! Keep going!! ✨🙌🏾.

[@Bakerygo]

I 'm 33 and I have heard similar comments in my life.

[@clovermicdover8083]

I have experienced being skinny and fat. I’m 5’11” and my skinniest was 130 (mind you I was very sick) then my heaviest was 230. I’ve experienced both and I will always agree that being heavier allows more scrutiny. I don’t think the insults/threats pertain to the same thing skinny people get.

[@mikezohan142]

130 pounds. That's great weight body mass

[@reebeckie571]

Have also experienced both side growing up I used to be skinny as a toothpick and I experienced the cruelness of most people around me not a day went by without someone reminding how skinny I was by making harsh comment like "hey!!watch out before the wind blows you away" this lasted until my last semester of my second year in highschool,as kid those comments really did hurt but surprisingly i was never focused to changing my situation(like eating more to gain weight ) well tbh it was mostly because I heard from alot of people that I was doomed to be skinny all my life Now back to my last semester of my second year in highschool I started gaining weight and also gained few inches(I was 5'4 gained 3 inches now to 5'7) I remained at an average weight till I finished high school (I was in boarding school what mostly helped me gain weight was the midterm and end term breaks we were given every semester at those moment I ate like crazy I liked home cooked food and junk foods I would buy and my appetite was always high but when I would go back to school I wouldn't overeat since I disliked the food at school and that why it was easy to not get overweight) After highschool I started having seasonal depressions and I looked for comfort in food and now my weight started piling on utill I hit 71 kgs and that when I realized I was fat it's been 2 years since then and I'm always looking for ways to lose weight I hate being fat!!!

[@riba2219]

It's a different case for me. When I was skinny I was getting a lot of hate. People always assumed I had ED or was too poor to buy food. When I was heavier people commented to me that I look healthier and that I was eating well.

[@1ia802]

@@riba2219 heavier doesnt automatically mean fat.

[@riba2219]

@@1ia802uh in my context it meant fat. Are you high?

[@dreeeambaby]

I'm a "petite" figured black woman and what i hate hate hate hate hate is that theres this whole thing in the black community where if you're not super thick and hella curvy you aren't womanly enough. Some women even compare women like me to CHILDREN because we aren't super thick. i hate hearing people say it. Between that and social media it made me super insecure and pushes me to over eat just to gain more weight. i hate ittt

[@arianatao4416]

saaaaaame

[@coreyhaga2623]

Pay them no mind girl because when they get 60 years old walking with a cane because their knees are gone from packing all that weight , well I don’t have to say anything more 🙄

[@amxliae]

same

[@tauqueishachester9844]

Same but I get by cause I have a strong walk in am 5’1 with big boobs in a some booty but is still petite so my advice work on your walk like your the baddest

[@Brunaa_Silvaa]

@@coreyhaga2623 A reminder that we don’t need to put some down to bring others up. Yes, their bully-like behavior makes them susceptible to backlash, because if you’re mean you should be able to receive meanness back, but let’s not perpetuate the behavior we are fighting against. Just like she hates to be compared to a child or something of the sorts it is equally bad to downgrade the heavier body type by assuming they will age “badly” or suffer a worst future. Anyways both bodies are beautiful and nobody should assume nothing about others bodies. kiss kiss

[@lazeee1386]

this expectation for me to be curvy and slim but thick at the same time just because I was latina was put on me by almost every guy I talked to for as long as I can remember, even now. It's scary when people push body expectations on anyone especially CHILDREN...lord.

[@bluelight2681]

truue💗

[@bbavrse]

same. especially because i was the one in my family that was thinner than the rest (and also paler than the rest since my dad isn't hispanic) i was being told to "eat more" and that i need to gain more weight from not only men but from my family members

[@michellealvarado7411]

I always felt like I had to either look like Salma Hayek or a supermodel to be deemed attractive enough to be worthy of existence.

[@nealaholoqueen2551]

I heard someone say to Latina women “You could be a baby and look hot” 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@michellealvarado7411]

@@nealaholoqueen2551 Ew, what's wrong with people? I'm also sick of the fetishization of Latina women. It can be empowering now, when I specifically decide to play into it, but I hate when sexuality is projected onto me by strangers solely because of my ethnicity. My whole childhood and adolescence I felt like I had to fit the mold of the "sexy Latina" in order to play the part of my ethnic identity properly, and that being sexual was something required of me. That messed me up a lot when I was getting the brunt of Catholic purity culture and failed to fit all of the different images expected of me by society, my community, my peers, and my family.

[@beautyandfashion1563]

BULLYING IS NOT THE SAME THING AS OPRESSION😭 wish we all knew this

[@armyvelvet1236]

Fr like you can change your body it’s not like once your fat you’re fat until the day you die

[@briannynunez4080]

That is too true

[@poiien7816]

@@armyvelvet1236 you know how some people can eat all they want but never gain weight? it works in reverse too a lot of things go into body fat, not just caloric intake.

[@liyahmoore603]

@@armyvelvet1236 it's possible to gain weight just like it is to lose weight unless you have that one disease that uuum causes fatty tissue....i forgot what it was per say but i hope ukk what im talking about

[@sunnight8287]

@@poiien7816 trust me when I say those people only look like they eat a lot. They don’t eat as much as they do when they go out with friends once in a while. They really eat less on a regular basis.

[@me-rf2kt]

Just because I'm skinny I'm either a hooker, on drugs, or sick. I look at everyone and wish I had a "normal" body, but I had to realize that I have nothing to prove to anyone and my body is my body, it's beautiful and natural

[@kioku119]

There's no such thing as a normal body. Also I'm glad things are better for you.

[@me-rf2kt]

@@kioku119 that's why it's in quotation marks but yes thanks

[@kioku119]

@@me-rf2kt Yeah I was just kind of putting the point out there clearly. There really isn't.

[@calistafalcontail]

Where do you live???? Never heard any of this and I am super delicate but it has only advantages so far. If this is you on the picture, then you know damn well you are pretty in a classical sense and way more men are into skinny women (understandable). Its elegant, its cute, its an advanatge when you age.

[@SapphicSis]

@@calistafalcontail and y’all tried to say that skinny shaming is worse than fatphobia with your entire comment!

[@sunnybugz]

"It is completely normal to gamble with your health in pursuit of skinniness" EXACTLY THAT. my eating disorder almost killed me- but it was viewed as "health". The exercise, the calorie restriction, the refusal to even drink enough- it was viewed as healthy. I recieved more hate for my body when I recovered than when I was in the deepest parts of my illness.

[@sunnybugz]

@@AllTheArtsy when did i say that that healthy eating WAS anorexia- the quote was about neglecting your health in pursuit of weight loss. that isn't a healthy relationship with food?? i really don't know what point you're trying to make.

[@james__anna_burns4885]

@@AllTheArtsy it WAS viewed as healthy when it happened. what do you not understand

[@debontheweb588]

how was it viewed as healthy?

[@peng7771]

@@AllTheArtsy I think you misunderstood them. maybe they viewed it as healthy at the time without realizing it was detrimental. and some people on the outside might assume someone is becoming "healthier" when they lose weight if they don't realize that the weight loss is actually the result of an eating disorder.

[@LoveAndSnapple]

People have said, “Maybe you should skip a few meals…” or people say that they would never deny their child food…until they realize that their child REALLY likes food…

[@pipermeloche7915]

As a fat person it means the world to me when skinny allies speak out about fatphobia. Thank you for making such a perfect video and spotlighting fat voices in the process. Also the podcast recommendations in this video were immaculate - she's all fat, maintenence phase, and you're wrong about are some of my favorites!!

[@Lh-pq4np]

As a thin girl anytime a fat person says something about body positivity it's always right!!! I agree every time. I've been skinny shamed and I STAND up for fat bodies. Much love ❤️❤️

[@starlight9857]

SKINNY ALLIES- why is that so funny to me💀💀

[@djordjezlatkovic7087]

Idc about how anyone looks,but as someone who is in college to become health professional i will ALWAYS advise everyone to reduce their body fat ,cause there is strong corelation with diabetes and CV problems. And i don't think that's fatfobia,but would love to hear your thoughts on it🥰

[@sup3rnatural__]

@@djordjezlatkovic7087 it’s not your job to give people health advice that don’t seek it. if they don’t ask for your professional opinion on what they should do with their body then you shouldn’t be telling anyone anything. people like you love to act like bigger people don’t know that having fat can be harming for SOME people’s health. like... we know!!! and get berated for it by every doctor visit. the fact of the matter is that if they ask for your medical opinion about losing fat? cool but if you’re going around “giving advice” to complete strangers that aren’t your clients then fuck off.

[@djordjezlatkovic7087]

@@sup3rnatural__ first of all, i think u can say a lot of thing u just said in a nicer tone,i don't get the urge to be so rude,but ok,u choose how u present yourself online. Since obesity is global pandemic in a way,i do think that advocating for a healthie way of living sholud definitely be present in various platforms,and of course doing it in a respectful way without offending anyone.

[@billionhappy]

i also hate the stereotype that all anorexics are dangerously skinny especially when people talk about eating disorders, i have ednos and i have not lost a single pound since i’ve developed my eating disorder. anyone with any body type can have any eating disorder

[@hkj1397]

You do need to be underweight to fit the criteria for typical anorexia nervosa but not atypical anorexia. I think that is where the misconception comes from.

[@billionhappy]

@@hkj1397 yea ik but ive seen so many doctors be like “why no skinny??? no eating disorder u fat not skiny” edit: and also everyone i know with anorexia nervosa started out overweight and it took effect on their weight in like 2 years so that still is a pretty weak argument in my opinion

[@samiasegero5484]

ikr

[@alyssapinon9670]

@@hkj1397 or even if you’re not stick thin, losing a significant amount of weight for your body type.

[@nathalie3601]

or the idea that just because someone is skinny they have an eating disorder like what is it going to take for people to understand that these two are not equivalent???!!!

[@Littlemissstardust]

My therapist once told “your body is the physical boundries with the outside world.” It came to my mind, nobody should talk about how the way your body looks unless you want them to do because these are your boundries!!

[@NaeNaeFuller]

also, when a person says they’re fat, don’t say “you’re not fat you’re beautiful”....it plays into the stigma that fat is ugly when it’s not 😁

[@bigasspockets]

I agree, but I also don’t know what to tell ppl to say instead. Like when ppl say that I know it bothers me, but idk what to ask them to say instead

[@vickvictor7534]

@@bigasspockets You could say "weight doesn't determine beauty" or "You aren't fat, and even if you were that wouldn't change your beauty, or worth as a person" Idk but I think those are are better

[@parentalonion6552]

@@bigasspockets Maybe something like "and that doesn't make you any less beautiful than you already are."?

[@meenalena06p46]

I heard THAT ALL THE TIME!!!!!

[@inantarctica]

@@vickvictor7534 Nah, you're still saying the same thing. Someone acknowledging they're fat doesn't mean they need to be told, "oh but you're beautiful in your way."

[@janet7995]

For those of us that have been both skinny and overweight… XOXO we know the bull💩 is real.

[@Marriedbratt]

I swear they use to say my mom didn’t feed me and now they saying I’m to big

[@sommungchisblinkifyoureate6307]

@@Marriedbratt sis same, what the hell?!?

[@loveoflife3081]

Right!!!! 🤣

[@ibeabea4073]

Yeeeees 🙏🏻 I’m really hurt by this video because I had very similar experiences like the people in this video. I was at the ER and got send home because my doctor thought my symptoms existed because of my underweight and I for sure got treated differently and looked down by my colleges. And the whole message of this video is yeah skinny shaming is bad but fat shaming is worse.

[@janet7995]

@@Marriedbratt same. I know how family can be...either you put on some weight, or you're too thin.

[@SwampTiGaH]

Justin's story made me realize that we don't talk about men's eat disorders at all

[@nyumyu4265]

That is the truth ❤️ people even go as far to say “eating disorders are for teenage girls” and this toxic mindset needs to STOP

[@JDavis1982]

Yeah, it was def tough to talk about but i felt if someone could hear about my experience and connect to it would be worth it.

[@mormontbones]

@@JDavis1982 thank you for sharing, justin! I hope your story can help someone speak up about their struggles 💜

[@SapienSafari]

Yes. But traditionally money makes even an unattractive man attractive.

[@kpopluvie7588]

I'm actually so glad u brought up the skinny shaming. I always felt so bad when my friends could finish the food but I couldn't, and as an asian American, it's always embarrassing when people tell me to eat more and they force more food on my plate

[@oliviacr88]

yeah same here, every time I'm out with my friends I always dread getting food because I know that if I don't feel like finishing my food I'm going to look like I don't eat and that's why I'm skinny(which is definitely not true it's just genetics). I even had a teacher that forced me to eat once in front of my classmates and it was so embarrassing

[@veronicagilmore946]

Being skinny shamed in a Latino household took a toll on me. I put this pressure on myself that I have to eat the same as others. Unfortunately this led to disordered eating for me but I’m glad to say other peoples comments don’t have the same affect on me and I shouldn’t feel bad for eating less or more

[@skrittle555]

i've been skinny shamed and fat shamed. the fat shaming hurt more. with skinny shaming, i could always write it off with "they must be jealous." because skinny is good, right? but i knew no one wanted to be me when i was fat. pretty fucked up.

[@alyssapinon9670]

Wow good way of putting it. Hope you are doing better now!

[@Jellybeansatdusk]

You just summed up my entire existence.

[@trixieagustina6163]

Though when I was skinny shamed, barely anyone wanted to be me either

[@loveoflife3081]

@@trixieagustina6163 It’s ok...if anything I’ve found that being ugly (in terms of society’s standards of beauty) I’ve been liberated. I can easily determine who actually gives af about me.

[@haventseenhim]

For me, skinny shaming hurts more. I’ve never been “fat” but I always felt that Id rather be fat than skinny because, people pick on you because you’re small and can’t fight, easier to get taken advantage of, and I’ve always felt, as a person with high metabolism, it is easier to lose weight than gain it.

[@sophitiaofhyrule]

A lot of people disguise their fatphobia as ''concern''. I hate that so much. These people don't actually care, they just want to bully someone. I love how when a fat person exists everyone jumps on them telling them it's unhealthy as if they don't already know. Just leave them alone. Don't give them ''advice'' unless they ask for it. Just don't bother people.

[@annabananaSplitz1]

Lizzo has amazing breath control, can perform like no other and yet people call her fat and unhealthy. would an unhealthy person be able to perform like lizzo did, playing the clarinet for that long and not be out of breath? i'm a size 12/14 US 170lbs and i can't even walk briskly without running out of breath (yes, i'm overweight but i have PCOS and i'm struggling). it should be about health. being fat doesnt necessarily make you unhealthy. also, what size constitutes as fat?

[@hbutter1306]

Exercise and stamina doesn't lessen the effect of an unhealthy diet. One day the extra weight and side effects of eating crap catch up to you, your joints, your heart, your endocrine system, everything.

[@Dee_Snuts27]

@@hbutter1306 she's literally vegan, tf?

[@touyaism7860]

@@hbutter1306 here you are doing exactly what this comment is saying as if you really give two fucks about big people beyond them being big

[@oh.hey.2045]

@@Dee_Snuts27 French fries are vegan (not trying to say that Lizzo is unhealthy just that vegan foods can be unhealthy as well)

[@ipaybillsallday]

I found you this morning, and have spent the entire work day listening to you, i just wanted to pop in and say thank you. your way of approaching subject matters is so sensitive and nuanced. I truely appreciate it, and have LOTS of your videos to check out.

[@dianarivera6521]

I was 236lbs last year. I gained so much weight after pregnancy. I finally did something and I lost 80lbs, and so many people feel comfortable telling me that I am now “too thin”.. but yet when I was fat no one said hey you’re gaining a lot of weight. I am now back to my pre pregnancy weight it took me 4 years. My bad habits were out of control, and now I’m all about my health I am “too thin.” It’s crazy.. Being fat I had to love myself. Now that I am skinny I have to love myself. It’s all about loving yourself, and the skin you’re in.

[@no-one00]

Omg that’s what happened to me too

[@skrittle555]

almost exactly what happened to me! no one said anything about my weight at my heaviest. now that i'm down 70 lbs they're all suddenly entitled to comment. what is this nonsense?! i almost feel like they thought they had nothing positive to say at my heaviest so they just said nothing. but skinny is good so they can't help but comment now? if that's it then YIKES. but hard agree. i loved myself at my heaviest and i love myself now

[@stepxurxgamexup]

Thank you for saying this because ppl in the comments are truly acting as if skinny ppl don’t get rude remarks REGULARLY in comparison to when someone is heavier smh

[@spookyspaghett1]

@@stepxurxgamexup Wait... huh?

[@linasayshush]

I've had that happened to me and in my experience, they're trying to compliment you. There is no way of turning "you're too fat" into a compliment, but in our society, women can't ever really be too thin. People feel more confident commenting about your weight when you're thin because being thin isn't a problem.

[@SubSalicylate]

Can we also talk about how fat representation in media has to ALWAYS be tied to a lack of confidence? Like you can be fat and a confident person at the same time, and I think that’s the representation that people need. Edit: also it’s so fucking upsetting that the beauty standards on black women are so strict and specific, while white women are accepted in a larger spectrum of body size.

[@RIZEArtStudios]

The fat person is either the insecure person or the comedian. Never the lead in something serious

[@TheDilemma76]

I also hate that the fat people that are shown in media, especially models, still conform to a lot of beauty standards. Their fat is in the right place. The breasts are larger, along with the hips and bum, but the stomach area is still relatively flat.

[@janelleslayss]

When it comes to the fat shaming VS skinny shaming it’s still *body shaming*.You can’t tell a skinny girl “Oh you should be happy with the way you look” or “You shouldn’t be upset when people tell you need to eat a burger, because your skinny” “and you don’t have to go through the things that fat people go through” doesn’t matter what your body size is there is NO IDOL BODY! But to most men they want something to “hold” all about the big butt and tits.

[@pizzarolls7719]

@@janelleslayss Yeah, but one is worse.

[@janelleslayss]

@@pizzarolls7719 yea it’s bad but still we should treat everyone equally and not try to compare them and saying they are different. But still it’s body shaming and we need to treat everyone with the same respect. Remember body positivity isn’t just for big girls it’s use to be about people with disabilities and scars and things they cannot control and sometimes fat in the stomach. But now it’s just all about big girls now, but when it comes to a desirable body or someone who’s not big people will mostly come at them since most of the audience is woman and mostly sometimes people praise fat people to feel more confident and they want them to stay fat so they don’t look better then them that’s what most of these compliments are for to support this bad behavior and people are just sometimes supporting unhealthy big girls and are supporting an unhealthy life style without even pointing it out. It’s just a competition for being the best-

[@pidgeonnuggets8838]

Its funny how we forget the basic lessons in pre school of treating others with respect when it comes to certain body types and our own bias against people.

[@MystRis96]

Birth control caused blood clots in my lungs and landed me in the ICU, my hospital stay was 7 days total, one doctor had me convinced it was my weight. It wasn’t until a year later when my wonderful body neutral Gyno looked at me and said “I don’t understand what this had to do with your weight, what made you think that?” That I realized even that was just fat phobia in the medical field rearing it’s ugly head once again in my life. We won’t even talk all about how I was treated in that muthafvvcking hospital and two years later that $2000+ bill just ✨vanished✨, I assume someone reviewed the file and realized my family should have sued but we were more worried about me like ya know living that we didn’t go there.

[@morganking7176]

I think the biggest difference, as someone who has been shamed for both, is that even when someone is insulting you for being skinner, you are still being called the societal norm.

[@nightlightslove]

Yesss, when I was so skinny my mom took me to the dr bc she thought I was anemic, I low key felt proud. She is also the one who is always reminding me to lose weight but whatever.

[@lenab.m.3708]

not as a black woman..it's actually the opposite

[@alyssapinon9670]

Truth!

[@Knrr-yr2dd]

I got shamed for both but being skinny-shamed got to me more because girl, I'd been busting my ass for the sake of my health and all I got from women was more bullying.

[@lavenderr77]

But what about being called anorexic? Anorexia is not a societal norm. It’s an illness and insulting to the community of people who actually struggle with it.

[@jackriver8385]

There's also some subtle ableism hidden in the whole thing of people "just caring about health." There's plenty of people who cannot ever be healthy and it shouldn't make anyone less of a person and definitely shouldn't make anyone less deserving of being seen.

[@astoldbynickgerr]

Thank you for pointing that out 💙💙💙

[@alyssapinon9670]

Yes! It’s good to be as healthy as you possibly can be, but health shouldn’t determine your worth as a person.

[@maangelac]

PERIOD

[@donnamoydenton6156]

This. 100%. And it's also like... you're not their doctor so how about you mind your own business and pay attention to your own health??

[@bigasspockets]

Agreed. So often the people who make fat phobic comments “to help them be healthy” overlook the fact that people deserve decency and respect independently of how healthy they are. So weird

[@maggieallen5985]

And one of the most frustrating things is that the body positivity movement is being co-opted by influencers and corporations…just to sell us more stuff. Stuff that still preys on our insecurities and desire to be seen as pretty, or even just be left alone.

[@bitchlasagna1]

I see underwear commercials and they'll have a large amount of body diversity in their models but the fat models are always wearing granny panty spanks that tuck their tummy like... do companies not see the irony in using body positivity and fat models to sell slimming products

[@ativaadzem566]

That's why they exist. No matter what movement, growth, or existentialism crisis people go thru, someone will make money out of this 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@okayokayfineilldoit]

@@bitchlasagna1 to them its not irony to them it just makes 100% sense. because they are evil lol

[@bitchlasagna1]

@@ativaadzem566 and it usually isn’t the people that the movement is for

[@Wolfstar26]

as a skinny person who has always been underweight from childhood to present adulthood, i've almost never been made to feel bad about my body. there was only one instance where a classmate called me anorexic, otherwise i was often complimented for my body, even though i had a flat chest. when i was in school, i watched the bigger girls be yelled abuse at them in the hallways, be publicly humiliated for no reason and be forced to take it on the chin. it made me afraid of just the idea of living as a fat person in this world. if you asked me, it's definitely ten times worse to be fat in this world. however, i speak as a white person, and it's likely much more accepted to be shaped like a door when i'm white than other ethnicities. but still. i don't feel very oppressed at all for my body type, never have.

[@saskia1621]

BLESS U for this. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a parallel universe whenever I’m discussing fatphobia n suddenly I’m about hearing all this abuse skinny folks get on the daily😭Like I have never witnessed skinny shaming that has the same anger or violence that fat shaming has

[@veronicagilmore946]

same here I’ve been skinny all my life and usually I’ve had some mean comments about how thin I am at school, but for bigger people I’ve seen how much comments and bullying they’ve done to them. The perception people have towards is sad to see. Growing up in a Latino household, I’d get praise from some family members but then also get comments about how thin I am. It’s a mix of both that confused me a lot growing up. But I always knew what I went through is not the same as fat person and I can’t imagine how hard that must be

[@MzHues]

My sisters and I joke with each other about our weight because we all struggle. However, when anyone else chimes in we look at them like they are crazy. We support each other and strive for health over skinny. Skinny does not mean healthy and fat doesn’t unnecessarily mean unhealthy. There are a lot of factors to consider.

[@s0Shi]

Correct 👍 it’s great that you have a group who understands and can support each other. I remember reading comments on one of the episodes of Super Size vs Super Skinny where the skinny person had a very unhealthy diet and practice but didn’t “look too skinny” (🙄) and people were praising her looks and body and downplaying the harms of her diet. It’s really frustrating with how people judge and determine worth based on appearances and attraction, as if their standards are what matter for someone else’s own body and well-being; also incredibly annoying when people think they can just diagnose and assume someone’s health and eating/exercise habits just by looking at them. We as a society *really* need to get more educated on this, way too many people are falling ‘victim’ and/or contributing to these widespread social issues.

[@DotRD12]

I mean, once you reach a certain weight being fat does become objectively unhealthy. Permanent joint damage due to being overweight is definitely real.

[@MzHues]

@@DotRD12 This is true, but most often there are factors that contribute to that and the unhealthiness of it cannot be solved with just diet and exercise. Often there are underling health conditions, medication, trauma, etc. Same can be said for people who are unhealthily thin. The whole story is needed to address the health issues that come from being underweight and overweight.

[@_SHOLISCO_]

It’s honestly annoying when skinny women can't talk about being skinny shamed without being jumped but at the same time we can realize that it’s NOT the same as fatphobic because I can be shamed for my body and still be ideal body, those things can coexist

[@dreamyanon5151]

I think they become the same conversation when fat positivity directly translates to demeaning skinny women or calling their bodies unrealistic. If fat positivity just stayed about accepting our bodies it wouldn't be a problem but it is in opposition of other bodies which just creates an issue rather than solving one. I do think fat shaming can be worst but there is a problem with the way we talk about it that's counterproductive.

[@bandaqueenlove9134]

RIGHT!! Thank you for acknowledging both

[@oopsydaizy]

I agree with this so much 👏🏽

[@renia1833]

Everytime they talk about being skinny shamed people are like “But you’re the beauty standard why are you whining”🙃

[@notky848]

I agree! I was just talking about this with a plus sized person and they made the argument that because THEY like my body means that EVERYBODY likes my body. And even so, plenty of people hate things they feel they can't have. It's unfair to tell people they don't have to right to complain without paying attention to what they're going through.

[@swededontknow]

I think my biggest issue with people being like "it's unhealthy to be that overweight im trying to help you!!" is like babe??? who asked you??? even if they're unhealthy, it's not your damn business to berate them over it. you can be a decent human being while saying "hey are you doing ok?" when you notice more symptoms than them just gaining weight. literally there is no reason to badger someone over their weight in the name of health because it is entirely possible to be concerned for someone's health without being fat phobic

[@tiffniejackson7399]

Exactly! Do these same people approach individuals while they are smoking and tell them how concerned they are about their health? How about when attending a sporting event and seeing people throw back several beers, does the same individual go up to these people with a deep concern about THEIR health? Let's stop the fake concern about others' "health" and be honest about our own issues with fatness and how it makes many of us feel very uncomfortable. We must recognize how we have been conditioned to feel this way about large bodies.

[@annaeddleman6739]

The problem with this is also that the media has conditioned us into thinking that everyone can and needs to fit into their ideal body type. The truth is that some people are just naturally bigger and some are just naturally smaller. This is super dangerous bc it makes stuff like what you’re saying happen. I mean, it fuels discrimination not to mention extreme self esteem issues

[@criticalthinkingconcubus]

I hate it when influencers, gym rats, and health fanatics shame fat people and call it “tough love.” Calling a stranger minding their own business a whale or encouraging them to be bulimic is not love. If they really loved them, they’d politely reach out to them and offer advice. If the person rejects them, then they should leave them alone and move on. Also do those people not realize that skinny people can be just as unhealthy as fat people? Skinny people can have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, lethargy, and diabetes. I doubt that those people who brag about being able to eat Big Macs and large pizzas for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and stay a size 6 without exercise are the pinnacle of health.

[@tosinakin2508]

@@criticalthinkingconcubus This! The assumption that skinny people are just healthy by default is so annoying. Skinny people can be just as unhealthy if not more so than fat people. They just don't have an obvious tell, so no one bothers to question their lifestyle. The most infuriating thing is that many thin, fat-phobic people don't bother to exercise or eat right themselves They are deeply unhealthy. It's like they see healthy practices as a means to skinniness instead of an actual lifestyle choice.

[@nalea7051]

that happens to me all the time as a skinny person can just be standing there and one of my mom's friends can just start talking about different meds that can take to gain weight or they would say "don't worry, you're gonna be a REAL big girl" and I was in disbelief 😭

[@lottielootens698]

This was so eye-opening to me as as a skinny person because normally i feel like i'm being attacked but this wasn't a fight between people's sizes, it was education, and one we all needed i think.

[@MeltingSkyline07]

Body neutrality is best

[@faemaiden5090]

As a woman with Birthmarks (think vitiligo but reversed) I really wish the body positivity movement wasn't so focused on who has it worse (because someone always has it worse). I really wish it wasn't so focused on weight, sometimes it's more focused on weight then mainstream society. I wish the message was more Your body isn't something you should get your worth out of, and respect everyone. All this infighting is doing nothing but making people angry and insecure.

[@jacqlynberkoh2175]

That's what it was originally for, those that have ' deformities' that can not be controlled by oneself but it became more of a cult were people found popularity and meaning to justify sh!tty individuals and there laziness and manipulation. Like literally Tess Holiday and Lizzo literally had to hide themselves exercising and trying different diets because they were not body positive ( fat). They play ignorant by using the quote " Health at every size" when there are barely health at half of the sizes. Instead of focusing on humanizing people whether what they look like. The movement is full of hypocrites who want excuses to be a-holes and want people to confirm to their views.

[@Alyssia777fr]

YESSS

[@mewmew6158]

@@roralojane It depends on what "body positive" people you follow (the ones I follow talk about how you personally can help unlearn fatphobia and prevent further harm). The massively popular ones aren't always the ones doing things the best way.

[@majlordag1889]

I don't mind body positivity if it helps someone which I think it does, my personal problem with it thought is that I didn't find it inclusive in all ways, for example, I found that individuals with small forehead, straight white teeth and big lips and "good" facial bone structure were still treated as more desirable that individuals without those. They include ethnicities and body types and sometimes disabilities but when it comes to those mentioned above I usually see how some features are favored over other

[@mere0]

body neutrality is my goal. women especially are really conditioned to tie our entire moral value/personality to our appearance. what my body looks like has literally nothing to do with my self worth/confidence, and it SHOULD have no impact on how i’m treated by society both systemically and interpersonally.

[@keasha_alanna]

Ooo that section about the term, “confidence” for bigger people. I noticed that a lot of times, my friends never say “you look good!” and that it was usually “you’re so confident” and it always felt so backhanded. I couldn’t articulate or put a finger on why it felt off, but they described it perfectly. Thank you guys for putting this feeling into words!

[@Rachopin77]

My sister had a bunch of autoimmune issues and had to be on steroids that caused her to gain a lot of weight. Later on, when she would go to certain doctors, they would blame the issues she was having on her weight and tell her to lose weight. Which was hard because her health issues made it difficult for her to exercise etc. it was just sooooo irritating.

[@bug593]

i feel this! i’ve gained a fair bit of weight because ive been too sick to exercise and i’ve had multiple doctors tell me basically all i need to do is exercise and lose weight and i’ll feel better 😐

[@Rachopin77]

@@bug593 yeah that's truly frustrating. Especially because you're attempting to get some sort of help and support, and things in the body are often so complex when they get combined with circumstances. A lot of the time it becomes so cyclical and in the end the person just ends up feeling judged and not helped. My body has always naturally just trended more towards lower body fat, and when I've had health problems I've never had to get past the initial hurdle of convincing a doctor/authority that I'm not just doing it to myself, and I feel like that's a huge part of the problem. My sister and I have both always had a desire to be active and healthy and ideally have active lifestyles because it's what makes us happy, but she literally just got dealt a bad hand with her particular health issues. And then many doctors, who I would hope would be able to critically confront their own biases with patients, often just force those onto my sister. And I think that even though I sometimes have gotten snarky comments and things about being flat, it doesn't have the same potential to be a barrier to my life and health. And it just really bothers me, especially watching it so clearly in someone I love.

[@jlbeeen]

Yep, I have a chronic illness where I get dizzy a lot, and people have blamed it on all kinds of stuff. Thankfully I do know a doctor who helps, but she's expensive and the doctor I can see for free is very invalidating of my symptoms. I've had to be on my own and learn how my body works. Although related to this, PMS related bloating, even with treatment, shouldn't be shamed. We look different and change, which is perfectly normal.

[@sanryye9663]

Doctors really don't know what they doing sometimes 🙄

[@Ana-ly5ek]

My sister has crones disease and it’s the opposite for her. It’s impossible for her to gain weight

[@Rainjojo]

Notice how people will add any big person to a “cringe acceptance comp” but a skinny person who might have an ED is “healthy” in their eyes. Why are people so obsessed with our bodies? Does it hurt to take care of your own and leave others be? So many times throughout my early teens I was body shamed for not being the “ideal” curvy type even tough I was a literal kid. They said I couldn’t do sports with a body like mine and it made me feel awful for years even though my size was medium. After a while I stopped eating a lot and developed an ed to lose weight and look acceptable, I’m still recovering but hate that the scars are still there

[@MeltingSkyline07]

Ppl like splotchmaker are still horrible ppl

[@fia4461]

someone mentioned on TikTok, “As A Skinny person, would you choose to be a fat person? And not Slim-thick body type. Would you choose to be fat?” She mentions how majority of Women would not want to be fat but mainly all fat women want to be skinny

[@yasminluck970]

Because too much body fat has a negative effect on one's health

[@user-qf4xw1ov4y]

Well that's pretty known isn't it? I mean, everyone wants privilege, it's easier living while privileged. Why would one choose to go out of their way to face oppression or difficulties

[@effortlesslynj]

@@yasminluck970 and eating disorders to stay skinny doesn’t? If you’re fatphobic just say that

[@effortlesslynj]

@@user-qf4xw1ov4y you missed the point privilege or not the mistreatment of big people doesn’t equate To the mistreatment of skinny people

[@Zeverinsen]

Most people would *want* to be their best and healthiest self. Most people would indeed choose to magically get a healthy and toned body if they could. But a few people don't care about that, to some people being fat is a fetish thing, or simply their preference.

[@Ari_elf95]

One of the most frustrating things is being treated differently or harshly by strangers because of your weight, and people gaslight you into thinking it’s somehow your fault for making people uncomfortable by your weight.

[@marydabiri2713]

@@romanzolanski2948 Thanks for proving her point

[@blueisblue599]

Just a heads up don't respond to Roman. They're a troll I've seen them on other channels

[@ale-qt8zy]

@@romanzolanski2948 "oh you're deppressed? silly you, just be happy!" deadass

[@Ari_elf95]

@@romanzolanski2948 I’m not reading all that but i hope you get better soon

[@gromplin]

@@blueisblue599 Noted. But I can’t help but cackle at “just gain a metabolism”. Their little rant was just riddled with contempt... especially for a person preaching their compassion.

[@noellapaulinetaaka7841]

I totally agree. From my pov, skinny shaming is not talked about enough especially in Africa(where I am from) my own family always asked whether I was on a diet, having to pile my plate otherwise I was starving myself. I was called everything from toothpick to broomstick. I don't know if it is only my country but I could never buy clothes that fit me. Everything was always awkward (this could be because I am fairly tall (1.73m or 5.7ft) ) It was so disheartening. You start to think you aren't sexy. On the other hand my mother is fat and tall (1.78m or 5.8ft) and she received degrading comments (FROM FAMILY!!!) talking about her stomach and butt saying they were too big. I don't understand what people want. People cannot just live!

[@MaiDay01]

I feel the conversation is very centered On the west. My parents really made me never accept my body comparing me to a branch and twigs for 17 plus years, telling me i look like starving children in charity ads... the whole works.

[@MaiDay01]

There African too

[@Churros1616]

People want curvy, when you are fat you are shamed, when you are skinny you are shamed. It’s truly crazy. People need to mind their own business and let people live.

[@_gremlinboy]

I've had to gently ask the people close to me to stop commenting on my weight (only my boyfriend can bring it up, only when he's worried) because it's really so disheartening, as someone who's been trying very hard and failing to gain weight for the last five years. At this point I have a binge eating problem and people still suggest to me that I should eat, as if I haven't tried it. It's very frustrating.

[@notyouraveragejoe7003]

Lmaoooo Africans are something else man. I work out, I love it. When I went home, I brought my jump rope with me. Some people made fun of me, some people were inspired. I do understand African version of beauty is different from westernized beauty.

[@temmietemmieson6756]

You’re really helping me learning things and deconstructing biases, thank you Tee Noir!

[@TeeNoir]

I'm so glad!

[@ashleywalker3748]

Fatphobia story: I once had a coworker, loudly, ask me towards the end of the year "I thought you were going to lose weight this year. The gift I bought you were supposed to help with that. How come you haven't lost weight??"

[@devinwalker4161]

What an a**hole

[@ea7109]

😳😳😳

[@PHOENIX-ux3gw]

WTF!!!

[@starcherry6814]

"I thought you were supposed to mind your business this year. The lectures I gave you were supposed to help with that. Why haven't you learned??"

[@isa12rae]

Yep! They looove to ask questions about your weight loudly for everyone to hear! Been there too 😣

[@alexiabrandovici3597]

literally as we speak there's a new trend on tiktok to show how smooth your hips are moving on the beat of a song, and everyone acknowledges thin people and complimenting them, but when fat people do it everyone in the comments is like" we didnt ask for this" like okay???but did you ask for the thin people to do that????

[@notaburneraccount]

Exactly!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 They need to just say it...they hate fat people

[@someundeadtalent2016]

Just like that thing in which they wrap a loose shirt really tight around the waist yk

[@ww.DuzaFizz]

Honestly, Tiktok is just a breeding ground for toxic body standards

[@Nessa-k7q]

@@notaburneraccount nah most ppl accuse the skinny ppl for body checking

[@rotisserie8444]

Honestly tik tok is toxic for both skinny and fat people. It’s toxic for everyone in general, there’s no winning on that app.

[@imani0nline]

When ever the girlies are fighting best believe Tee is gonna jump in with receipts and break it down 💃🏾

[@dollypit5315]

Oh wow you're so pretty

[@briannynunez4080]

Well said 😌

[@arnatri1503]

I was always a chubby person, always a little over weight. I cannot say that my classmates or friends in school fat shamed me much.....sometimes I did hear a snarky comment or two mocking my weight, but then I made some ridiculing my body with them and kind of just laugh it off. But generally, people did not see me just as a fat person since I was good in studies, took up a lot of responsibility, was friendly and a teacher's pet. but one thing I did notice from the time I was very small is that people automatically assumed that I ate more because I wasn't skinny.....it was things like saving me an extra piece of cake in a birthday party or just feeding me more. And I did not at all mind it, because why the hell would I say no to an extra piece of cake? I was generally body confident, shutting down everyone (mostly family members) who criticized my weight. My mother would say things like, "You look big from the behind in those pants", and not let me wear certain types of clothes. I just did not care as I am not that into dressing up, shopping and stuff. I get terrible cramps during periods from when I was probably 12 yo (I was probably 6 kgs over weight then). One gynecologist I visited in 2019 (I was 18 yo)with terrible cramps did not even write me a prescription or ask me any questions about my cramps. She just looked at me, asked me to step up on the weighing machine and immediately said that I just needed to lose weight. Around this time, criticism from my parents and all other relatives was at an all time high....I finally gave in and decided to lose some weight in mid 2020. There was no diet and gym, I just walked for about 1 hr everyday. I lost about 17 kgs of weight in say 8 months......now everybody started commenting on how great I looked. I would get a lot more male attention than I used to ......and this is what broke me. This made me understand that I will look good in everyone's eyes only if I stayed in this shape till the day I die. I am worth as a person till I maintain my figure as society wants (big boobs, a moderate waist and big hips). I am way less body confident now, hella insecure, subconsciously trying to watch what I eat, always calculating calories. And now the same relatives and my parents who have caused me to go through all this say that I look too skinny (I absolutely don't) and try to force feed me. There is no winning afterall. Every criticism was supposedly for my own good and they criticised me because they want what's 'good' for me and I should not point out the harm their comments have caused me mentally. P.S: Even after losing so much weight, I still get terrible cramps.

[@xoogaboogax]

honestly me being fat has ruined my life. i could literally be the least problematic person in the room and still be hated the most because of how i look. my entire life no one wanted to be my friend fr cuz i was fat and unattractive. if a big girl had friends, it’s cuz she was pretty in the face and/or skinny passing. i’m literally scared of meeting people online who have never seen me irl for fear they’ll treat me like everyone else. i don’t like eating before i leave the house for fear of bloating. i HATE eating in public cuz i feel like people are watching me eat and i feel like a pig. i feel like i’m in one of those ads about america’s obesity issues when i eat in public. i don’t like eating if no one else is eating or they’re not eating the same thing as me. my family let it be known my entire life that i wasn’t normal even tho i wasn’t the only one that struggled with weight. the only people i’ve been with have been long distance except for one girl and she treated me like shit. people have terrorized me so bad to the point i don’t believe anyone when they compliment me and get uncomfortable. i literally hate every inch of my body and i can’t wear or do anything skinny girls can do cuz it’s not cute when i do it. when i see thick or fat girls owning their body, having confidence, friends, relationships, etc. it makes me feel worse about myself because they’re having everything i want while being plus size, it only validates that there is something wrong with me. i’ve seen all my skinny, pretty friends being picked and wanted and leaving me alone. i never really had close friends growing up cuz people only ever wanted to have pretty friends. recently i met people, especially one girl and it blows my mind that they even talked to me or wanted to be my friend. the one girl says she loves talking to me and that i’m a dope ass person and i wanna believe her so bad cuz i think the same about her but it’s hard. especially cuz she’s skinny and gorgeous asf, it’s hard to believe she actually wants to be my friend. as soon as i get into a fight with someone, my looks and weight are the first thing they attack. people love to tell me i’m unhealthy and my “lifestyle” is bad when literally i’ve been big my whole life, it’s my genetics. i’ve tried so many things to fix it and it never works, i’m also extremely depressed so tryna keep a routine is really hard and i emotionally eat. if i lose weight, i get stuck at a certain number and it’s frustrating. another thing that blows my mind is that excuse could be used for a skinny person. skinny ≠ healthy and fat ≠ unhealthy and we need to stop those stigmas. just because you can’t gain weight doesn’t mean your arteries won’t get clogged from eating unhealthy foods and you’re not immune to heart disease or diabetes. and just because you’re plus size does not mean you can’t be fit and have absolutely nothing wrong with you medically. a lot of people fail to realize that. everyone has insecurities and no one should be invalidated for them. and just because someone has it worse than you does not mean your insecurities don’t count. but skinny people will always have the upper hand in society, even the underweight girls. i’m guilty of body shaming skinny girls cuz i didn’t think it was as bad, i don’t do it anymore tho cuz i realized body shaming is bad regardless. i deadass used to get mad when i heard skinny girls saying they were insecure and thought they were fishing for compliments but as i got older i realized anyone can have insecurities. and the backwards thing about me is i love the things i hate about myself on other women. i personally wanna change my body because i’m not happy this way but if you’re happy how you are, then that’s valid too. we all have the right to be happy. they always tell us to change how we act or think if we don’t like it, if it doesn’t make us happy and i feel the same should be said about bodies. we need to stop demonizing changing our bodies and demonize the reasons why people do or why people say to. if you read all this, i’d be surprised lmaoo

[@slowlyrunning]

I relate to this a lot. Sucks what you have to go through when you're fat.

[@xoogaboogax]

@@slowlyrunning no fr :/

[@machafine]

Sis me too, you are not alone. I gained stress weight and i hate how i look. But don’t let that stop you from meeting people. Girl I’ll be your friend.. everyone deserves to have friends and be loved 🥰

[@jewlzn7130]

I'd advise you to seek therapy. You are beautiful. You are absolutely gorgeous. The only people who are watching you are loosers and have nothing to offer. You need to be in a better place mentally for you to accomplish all the things you need in your life. You need to build relationships and have confidence to find a great career. You can't do these things with the appalling level of self hatred that you seem to have for yourself. Therapy, affirmations, meditation will help you overcome this. Its not healthy for you to be in this place.

[@minnyminx1300]

I never wished so badly to give someone a hug through the internet before. You are worthy of EVERYTHING regardless of your weight. Always remember that and yes you're allowed to change your body and mind I'm order to feel better . I recommend changing your outlook first because if you don't those insecurities will follow you even as you lose weight . Also friends or people who immediately attack your weight and face in an argument are not worth your time because they're shallow. Trust and believe that you don't want someone who bases everything on looks. They exist in a puddle. I'd you want friends or even just people to talk or listen too , I suggest you look up real body and fat inclusive or centric communities on Instagram or patreon cause those have literally saved my life. Also don't apologize for the long paragraph .

[@nugwuga]

Bullying is so normalized to the point where people think "it's not effective."

[@samiasegero5484]

fr

[@icebox9339]

From a Kenyan in East Africa, I've been skinny shamed because men here prefer a thicc look. I used to overeat a few years back, trying to get fuller in some areas and my metabolism would not let it happen. Just had to accept myself and I now love my size.

[@alexiabowen4035]

As you should! Don’t live your life for pleasing any person...the right guy will like you for you anyway

[@wairimuwaweru5455]

Hey I'm Kenyan too❤

[@toadt0ad]

i’ve been fat like my whole life n even i sometimes find myself being like “at least i’m not _that_ big” or like judging ppl for certain outfits bc i could never show my bigger body in the ways they do and it’s so disappointing that even i think anti-body pos stuff as a fat person myself. it’s so ingrained in me that because i’ve been in high school and haven’t lost much weight like my mom did when she was my age, i started to j think it was inevitable that i would never be desirable solely bc of my fat body. idk if that makes sense but i’m 17 rn so thankfully i’m still young and have come to appreciate my body earlier on in life but yeah it rlly feels like the odds are stacked against you as a fat person.

[@mb.774]

For anyone that needs to hear this; if you feel like your therapist or doctor is neglecting, mistreating, or not listening to you, find someone else. No one has the right to make you feel less than, ESPECIALLY someone in healthcare. You are beautiful and you are loved.

[@aureliere]

Louuuder!!! 📢📢📢📢📢

[@giasaleen2]

I like to add that people think it’s “inappropriate” for bigger people to wear something tight fited, even if it’s in their size, but when someone is smaller can wear the same thing and no one says a word (at least from my experience). I feel like that’s where the systemic thing comes into play. Jobs, schools and other establishments will condemn someone for being bigger. And it’s honestly annoying.

[@ailema.4548]

In my experience, as someone who is petite but big-breasted, I've been told not to wear tight-fitted clothing because it's "distracting" or makes me look "promiscuous". I had a gym teacher tell me when I was fourteen that I shouldn't wear tank tops in class because I might "distract the other students". I've been told by employers that I need to "dress down" for the same reason. I think it comes from two different places. I can't speak for you, but from what I've seen talked about from bigger people - discrimination often comes from disgust. For someone like me, I think it comes from sexualization.

[@googli300]

Yes, and it's so terrible when it starts at home. Like, the first fashion advice I learned from my mother (also a big woman) when I was a child was "use flattering clothes", meaning, clothes that hide the fat or that made me look thinner. Growing up in an environment where my parents told me how beautiful I was while also saying how much better I'd look if I were to lose weight was very confusing to me. "Wait and see how you want to lose weight when you fall in love" my parents said. Don't get me wrong, they have always tried their best and they are great parents, but I'm pretty sure many people have had similar experiences, which shows how incredibly embedded fatphobia is and how TOXIC it is.

[@MegaAlisha2000]

Literally today I got uniform for my new job and I asked for my size and they literally said no. Not because they didn’t have my size but because it would be too inappropriate but the other girls are wearing skin tight uniform and it’s okay but I can’t. I don’t know it just made me feel a way.

[@shanicesssmith2821]

@@ailema.4548 yep yep yep. I'm not exactly petite, but I'm not and have never really been a big girl. However, my bra size is 34G, one step above a DDD. Because of this, I've always been discouraged from wearing anything that wasnt entirely "modest", and didnt have the goal of hiding my chest, as if I'm gonna be able to hide these things. Meanwhile, the c cup girls were seen as trendy and aesthetic for wearing crop tops, v neck tops, super tight, revealing clothing (which i have no problem with, I support women dressing any damn way they want to despite what sexism has to say) that I was seen as overly sexual and slutty for wearing. My cleavage was too "inappropriate" but theirs was fine. I saw a post of a woman with a curvy booty wearing the same exact police uniform as the men with her getting slutshamed and told "see, this is why men treat you like sex objects, because you sexualize yourself". We definitely have a problem with seeing the female body as inherently inappropriate, and the more of it you have, especially part that are seen as female parts (breasts, curvy behind) the more obscene and sexual you inherently are, especially if they are at all able to be seen and they arent hidden.

[@neci596]

@@googli300 omg I relate so much. My family is a bunch of bigger people, and I dressed like a 50 year old in elementary school. I even wore shapewear. Partially due to the options for my size, but also because of the internal fat phobia.

[@tomisinsalako7811]

Let’s talk about how this might be tied into over sexualization of curves on ppl(due to oversexualzation of BIWOC) and how there are double standards of what a fat person can wear versus a skinny person. hint: “Your body type shouldn’t be wearing tight fitting clothes”

[@ST-111]

I think skinny ppl without curves are also shamed for that, like the girl tee mentioned in the beginning. Or they feel they shouldnt or insecure because they dont have curves.

[@m7i7naa]

@@ST-111 i am a skinny person and it's due to my struggling mental health and MAN! I am shamed by family, "friends", relatives, strangers. People say such disgusting stuff.

[@dejstoney]

@@ST-111 she didn’t say that. She said over-sexualization of curvy women. Thin women don’t get over sexualized for being too “thin”. Y’all literally have lack of boobs and ass unless you are genetically blessed and “thick in the right places”. Stop it.

[@lilyovererrantjam9397]

@@dejstoney It's literally the second sentence... : "and how there are double standards of what a fat person can wear versus a skinny person. hint: “Your body type shouldn’t be wearing tight fitting clothes"

[@monica012077]

@@lilyovererrantjam9397 That's not what she means. As a skinny person I can wear leggings and a tank top and look like I'm going to dance class. If my sister wears the same she's got a whole lotta bootie and her boobs are spilling out the tank. She gets treated like she's being sexy when she put that on for exercise purposes. That can affect shapely women in the workplace.

[@jo4210]

I’ve been fairly skinny for the majority of my life, but no matter how “small” I was, I always have a belly (I’ve got phat reproductive organs) but I also have a naturally athletic build so I’ve been skinny-shamed and fat-shamed and made fun of for looking like a boy, which I’ve always been androgynous and put effort into my androgyny so that never really bothered me. But I’ve Literally been told I look pregnant and told that I’m too bony in the same day. My family has even jokingly called me a bitch for being skinnier than them. Like I know it’s a joke and not a big deal, but it still hits hard sometimes. Like where do I fit? I was even really really motivated to go to the gym and stay in shape in high school, but convinced out of it because my parents said “I didn’t need it.” Now every time I work out or go to the gym, I have a sense of guilt for literally no reason. Now my mom gets annoyed when I tell her that I have digestive issues or a sore back because “I should’ve taken care of that when I was younger.” It fucking sucks lol

[@Name-de1ij]

I’ve gotten the “pregnant” thing too, I’ve also gotten “you look fat compared to your friends”. But the weird thing is that I lost some weight a couple years later and I’ve been asked if I had an eating disorder. I guess the moral here is, “be average weight but pray away the stomach fat”.

[@sacek2174]

I feel you on soo many levels. People around me since I remember were commenting on my hair (which is curly and nobody thought me how to take care of it), my body or the way a beehived. The same day on the same thing I got three different opinions. Like how can a child process this!! You're to skinny also bit fat, to pale. You're hair is beautiful, terrible, diferent...? You're are so well beehived and quite.... Why are you never talking! I'll never get why people have the urge to comment on other persons appearance. Even if they are your family. You might tell your self that those are just words but it always gets to you in some way.

[@kennethiavail1719]

As a fat black woman, it is so hard to love myself in a world that pushes the thin curvaceous look. I definitely see how a thinner person could be hurt by the words of someone critiquing their bodies, but it’s definitely a difference with plus size people (especially women) because we are harshly judged and are not given opportunities because a certain person may not like what a big body “represents”. We get stared at in public and more often stores don’t carry our sizes or if they do, it’s pushed in the back with floral prints or big ass t-shirts. Just over it so yeah I’m working on losing weight because the fight is just too much.

[@janelleslayss]

Heyy sister! I’m a skinny girl but I may not be big as you like I have never experienced being big but look Imma help you lose the weight sister. I exercise to gain muscle but for you need like to work out like three times a day you don’t really need to starve yourself or go on a diet I’m skinny and I ate pizza while working out but like eat healthy you can still eat the foods you LOVE ❤️ ! I highly recommend to do romee strjid workouts SHES a super model SHES not skinny but like she’s naturally skinny and has abs do her workouts on KZbin! It surely helped my sister (she was chubby) and when it comes to clothes I recommend to shop online if public shopping ain’t for you remember we got the Internet I shop at shein they have clothes for plus size too and their prices are pretty cheap everything’s 1-40 dollars so any number between those two. There can also be other shops too!

[@kennethiavail1719]

@@janelleslayss thank you. I like Chloe tings on you tube she’s always great if you or your sister wants to check her out. I hate online shopping-I like to try things on, but I do it if I have to. I’m pretty sure I got it under control.

[@kingkylie9655]

​@@kennethiavail1719 Hey girl everything everyone is telling you is wrong. the only way to lose weight is caloric deficit. its literally just math. find out your tdee and make sure its a deficit. This means if your caloric intake should be 1500 a day, and the average human burns 2000 calories a day, you are already at a 500 caloric deficit. at the end of the week you'll lose 1 pound. can YOU eat less than 1500 calories a day? you dont even need to exercise but if you did you might lose 1.5 pounds a week. The more extreme your diet, such as just eating 1000 calories a day + 500 calories burned from exercise - 2000 calories burned for just being human = 1500 deficit. you will literally lose 3 lbs a week / 12 pounds a month if you just eat 1000 calories a day and burn 500 calories a day from exercise. its so fucking simple. if ur eating 2000+ calories a day CUT THAT SHIT DOWN. start eating healthy foods that make you feel full like a whole 2 scoops of vegebtales, potatoes for carbs, eggs or fish for protein, water and fruits for liquids and maybe take a vitamin! ITS THAT SIMPLE you just gotta work and be smart. or youll be exercising for 10 years and not lose weight cause ur not doing the MATH

[@kennethiavail1719]

@@kingkylie9655 thank you I’ll screen shoot this

[@im_a_chair5556]

I have noticed that stores seem to think bigger women only like floral prints. Where's the variety dangit?!

[@asweetie06]

They love to constantly tell “fat” folks, about how to loose weight, and how easy and simple it is. I am damn near 50 and people still like to comment on what I eat…. And that is the start lol

[@slowlyrunning]

I hate when people who have never been overweight say things like "Losing weight is so easy you're just lazy, my uncle lost 30 pounds and all he did was eat healthily and workout". See the thing here is that I'm not your uncle Sarah.

[@loveoflife3081]

Yeah isn’t it hard too because your blood vessels and nerves and stuff start to surround fat? I heard that from somewhere but can’t remember lol.

[@JadetheGoober]

Oh no ma’am, i need names and addresses. We dont allow harrassment of queens in Yeshuah’s world.

[@loveoflife3081]

@@JadetheGoober Right on!!!

[@jadeverhoeven2464]

They were lying about it being easy and simple, it requires a whole lifestyle change xD

[@sharnagrayson9649]

They shouldn’t be compared just like the bullying of darkskin people vs the bullying of lightskin people two different matters!

[@amywick976]

^^^^!!

[@alyssapinon9670]

Yup! Neither are very nice but only one is systemic

[@kilimanjaro5537]

This!!! This needs to be pinned. I see so many light skin people trying to compare their experience to dark skin peoples and it’s not the same and it will never be the same. The difference is light skin people still have privilege.

[@sw4ggynutz466]

@@kilimanjaro5537 I remember this girl on TikTok crying about how light skins are "demeaned" and shamed etc. But that's more on bullying because that is definitely better than being called "Harambe" or compared to an animal

[@janay6076]

Light skin people Aren't bullied they're Desired but go off though

[@emilinebee6280]

I don't know if this is just something I have observed personally, but it seems like black people think "skinny" is an insult and white people think it's a compliment. I'm curious if anyone else has noticed this. It's kind of ridiculous both ways, IMO. Like, anorexia shouldn't be the ideal female body, but some people are just naturally skinny.

[@hadiyahmuh385]

yes a hundred percent my white friends talk about thigh gaps being a thing in 10th grade but in highschool I was made fun of for being skinny lol

[@rd3munna812]

Anorexia and being skinny are totally different thing all anorexia people are unhealthy but not all skinny people are unhealthy. I'm skinny person even my doctor told me that I'm in a healthy weight

[@mspettybetty]

i remember my own dad telling me that i shouldn't ruin my good looks and intelligence with fat 😑😑😑. As if fat, good looks and intelligence can't go together

[@Sarah-kv3qs]

Parents love saying your are ugly because you have a little more weight and berate you for it then ask why you stop talking to them. You will still be beautiful and smart. Don’t listen to them unless you want to make that change for yourself you are beautiful at any size.

[@b.c4267]

Yes plenty of fat woman have beautiful faces as a matter of fact, your face is very pretty in your thumbnail however if you ever slimed down you would get 100x more attention than you already get because your pretty. Life isn't about attention though so if your truly happy with your size than I am happy for you😀

[@Blue_910]

@@b.c4267 Brandon you need to shut the hell up. No woman will care about that backhanded opinion you just gave.

[@Blue_910]

@@b.c4267 If being skinny gets me men’s attention give me 100 more pounds please 🤢

[@linasayshush]

My family has done more harm to me because of my weight than anybody else. Well, except doctors. Doctors have done more harm.

[@darkenroses]

I've been skinny shamed and I've had my family try to convince me that I had an ED. My experiences, while valid, are nothing compared to what people who are fat go through. Fatphobia is everywhere. It's systematic.

[@alyssapinon9670]

👏🏽

[@hamianagrande]

For me it’s the opposite, I’m a slightly overweight 11 year old with anorexic tendencies. My family (especially my mother) laughed at me when I tried to tell them I want to go to recovery. That especially hurts since my mom is a nurse and deals with bulimic and anorexic patients daily. I hope both mine and yours family can become a bit more open minded. (Idk if that’s the correct phrasing for that context but I’m gonna use it anyways 💀)

[@Nooooooooooooooooooooo7913]

This!!!!!

[@hiwelcometochillis2579]

I've seen that fat phobia is made by everyone in public while skinny shaming is made by close family and friends in private Both bad, people shouldn't talk about others bodies

[@sup3rnatural__]

@@hiwelcometochillis2579 ??? fat phobia is also in friends and family. friend groups will not invite their fat friends to events bc their weight will make the group “look bad”, and it’s basically impossible for bigger people to make friends that won’t make a comment about their weight. and in families people will literally starve their kids and their siblings will constantly bully them and give them nicknames about their weight that they’ll grow up hearing and get called the rest of their life and it’s accepted by everyone their family knows bc they agree. lmao bigger people especially people who have been bigger since childhood literally grow up getting bullied at home and at school. i don’t know who you heard that lil saying from but there’s no need to act like big people don’t get shamed in home.

[@ezracarr6867]

i still struggle to wrap my mind around the fact that several medical professionals allowed me to get gastric sleeve at the age of 19. i genuinely cannot consume enough nutrients in a day now, i can barely physically get through the day, but i only receive compliments from family members now despite how often I have to sit down because I'm too dizzy to stand

[@Jackywitha_y]

Hey have you tried a liquid multi vitamin? I take or drink one a couple times a week.

[@Dave102693]

Can’t you get it removed? Jw

[@469ka37]

@@Dave102693 a gastric sleeve is when they physically make your stomach smaller, about the size of your esophagus, so no it can't be removed, the best they can do is overconsume to the point that their stomach stretches out but even that's hard.

[@reylime2991]

I’m actually trying to loose weight but i still have suggestions: try to cut your food into the smallest pieces possible, it might help fit more in, without you having to chew excessively. Fermented foods help with digestion, and certain foods help you absorb more nutrients. I find that minced food is easiest to consume alot of personally.

[@kaikai2881]

as someone who used to be a plus sized teen, i can confirm that fatphobia hurts more and does more damage than skinny shaming. an example being, when i was fatshamed i'd literally do anuthing in my power to eat less or avoid eating at any moment given. i was trying so hard to lose those kgs but with the wrong ways. but on the other hand, now that i am considerably on the skinnier side, even if people tell me "you're too skinny, eat" or "omg you're so skinny, you should be eating more than that" i don't do anything to change myself to fit what they say about me. cause i myself know that even if i am skinny shamed, i still fit into the beauty standard that people have given our society.

[@Km10092]

As someone who was once also a plus sized teen and has been on BOTH sides of the spectrum, I say that we need to stop making this the Opression Olympics. People have varying experiences with fatphobia and skinny shaming, and my perspective is that they are both harmful in unique ways. One is not more or less than the other. Let’s stop minimizing others’ experiences. Think about this. Imagine someone whose child died walking up to another person whose sibling died and telling them that their loss isn’t as bad because that person lost a sibling, not a child. Why is trauma being compared? Regardless, they are both losses that are uniquely painful in their own way. One is not inherently “more painful”, it really depends on the person experiencing it. I apply the same thinking to this debate. Of course a person who is considered fat will face different struggles than a naturally very thin person. And of course, the degree of shaming varies from person to person, but to invalidate a thin person just because their body type may be considered “closer” to the beauty standard is still harmful (especially seeing how the beauty standard in America shifts all over the place).

[@terushimasbandtee]

@@Km10092 not gonna write an essay for this but it's not really invaliating a skinny person's problems when you are considering how fatphobia is systemic and how skinny people would never be systemically oppressed like how fat people are.

[@Km10092]

@@terushimasbandtee Okay but does that somehow means that their experience is less? You realize that no matter what, fat or skinny, society is gonna pressure people to change their bodies. My point is that the experience is subjective. Yes plenty of larger people experience horrible bullying and shaming. I’m not denying that (I have experienced it myself), but there are also many who haven’t had to go through that. On the other hand there are many skinny people who are literally body shamed by fat people (has also happened to me multiple times). My point is saying that fat shaming isn’t in itself implicitly “worse”, it depends on your personal experience. Either way, shaming anyone for their body is harmful.

[@terushimasbandtee]

@@Km10092 you're speaking in an individual sense which can vary, you are correct about that. However systemic oppression also affects individual experience which is shared by people of all that body type. You fail to mention this, but for example systemic oppression such as media and TV which most people I say watch. There is very little representation for fat people and when there is, the characterization is nothing beyond comical relief (not always the case but still is majorly). This will affect fat people in away it won't affect skinny people which takes away from individual experience. Then there's diet culture, the fact that fatphobia is rooted in racism, classissm and capitalism. Not saying skinny shaming isn't valid, I'm saying that fat shaming is a more rooted and has more severity. Though it is wrong for both types of shaming.b

[@captainwartburger2571]

@@terushimasbandtee yeahhh but it is invalidating if we didn’t make “beauty standards in the media” the purpose of the convo. It’s when the topic is just skinny/fat shaming and the go-to defense is “but you guys fit the beauty standard” so what??? It’s no diff than when women say they want a breast reduction and a bunch of men come in saying “but we like your boobs” like ok but who gives a shit?

[@denizkaragullu6239]

As a 84 pounds girl, you are so right. I especially hate when people try to disguise their fat-phobia as being worried about someone's health. You don't see the same treatment to smoking/drinking/being underweight. The reactions to those things can't even compare to reactions people have to fat people.. Yet it's only about health yeah nothing to do with attractiveness... Sure....

[@lcr8817]

I agree, people thınk ıf u look skınny then u must be healthy, they actually dont care about health. U can be skınny because you are bulımıc and people are still gonna say “you are healthy” :/ dünya salaklarla dolu cidden

[@denizkaragullu6239]

@@serenefairy Ikr. I am really underweight rn. It's not healthy and I have to gain weight. But people body-shaming me doesn't help at all. It just makes me feel like shit...

[@denizkaragullu6239]

@@lcr8817 Yeah, people start calling you "unhealthy" or start telling you that you should lose weight even if you have a little bit more weight than the "average weight". But you have to look extremely skinny for people to start calling you unhealthy. And again, that is not because they actually care about your health. It's just because you don't have an ass and that's not attractive... Çok haklısın :(

[@samiasegero5484]

@@denizkaragullu6239 man f those people who body shame you, don’t let them get the best of you.

[@chenellebeautytv]

I’ve been skinny shamed so many many times lol smh. I’ll never forget my crush in middle school told me “I wasn’t thick enough” and years later one told me “you’ll be perfect, I just wish you had an a**”. Now that I’m older I’m just starting to keep weight on me and now I’m shamed for having a little “pudge”. I love my pudgy wudgy so chill on me lol. Let me embrace her 🤣

[@iguessitsokyungrichbaby2813]

If men have anything it’s the audacity.

[@l.symone3611]

I use to be freakishly skinny as a young kid, like elementary. When I got in middle school I started to fill out a bit more but I was still skinny (so basically I had hips a bit of a butt and stretch marks and pudge). Whenever I would be minding my business my grandma would always tell me to suck in my stomach or told my stretch marks were weird and I should get rid of them. My Parents and Family have also told me to stop starving myself or too eat more because it wasnt "cute", I just wasnt hungry

[@welicatiga]

@@l.symone3611 The Grandma thing hit home for me. I'm skinny and I've been that way since I could remember. I have trouble gaining weight and everytime, without fail, my Grandma will bring it up. It used to make me cry and I've struggled with self love but I think I've finally gotten to the point where it's pissed me off so much that I don't have the strength to care anymore.

[@tybrown6454]

A guy said the same thing to me in freshmen year, he said he liked me but my ass wasnt fat and then proceeded to make of how flat and skinny I was.

[@basicbish3444]

Omfg same

[@vikkipink1288]

As someone who has been underweight and overweight I can testify that being overweight was a million times worse in every aspect of my life.

[@potofgoldseeker4248]

Girl it's annoying af. I have thyroid issues so so my weight has fluctuated a lot over the years. And my damb family has to say something negative every time

[@Mavristheschooled]

Same on the thyroid issues. Sucks to have people saying your fatness is due to life choices Instead of biology because your thyroid is making you retain more fat while you go through treatment

[@ravenwolfkittyface1802]

Same. When I was skinny, I didn’t think the disparity in experience was that big. “It’s tough on both sides, right?” Now that I’m bigger, I realize how wrong I was.

[@jlbeeen]

For me, underweight had more health issues, but overweight had more societal stress. But both of those happened before I was 18, and having that much stress on a minor was not okay. I was bullied in school for how I looked at most weights. What really hurt was when I was bullied for weight loss due to gluten sensitivity. I won't get into details, but I was sick for a while, and got really weak. People accused me of eating disorders, some were jealous of "how easy" I lost weight, and the only response I could give was "No, I don't think you want hereditary food intolerances that make you sick..." And sadly that was usually the only thing that would shut them up. Now that I'm at a point where I'm able to exercise again and at a higher weight, it's weird because I'm scared of what people will think. I know know people are into different body types, but my partner has a lot of internalized fatphobia against himself, and it's really hard. I'm thankful I can sew, because making clothes seems to be the thing that feels the best. No tags involved or sizes, just something comfy without the fears of things not fitting right or having to get a bigger size.

[@d1m1u]

@@AllTheArtsy that’s not how it works... I have thyroid issues too and I’ve been restricting to a 800 calorie plan and work out yet I still gain weight...you can’t just tell someone to “eat healthy and workout” when it’s something biological. Like yes they help but the problem is still there and we can’t control it.Even doctors say that

[@rainy5517]

I've had a classmate who was fat and very beautiful and confident. She put make up on, did her hair and knew how to dress. not to mention, popular. Why can't we see fat people as normal human beings? And men tell us to not have unrealistic standards, when they want an hourglass thick thigh beauty goddess, who's only purpose is to fulfill their fantasies smh

[@just4bigbang]

not trying to be rude, i swear! just... dont say she was fat >>but

[@heh4389]

“but”🤨

[@xinx-fn8973]

Fat-phobia won’t help them at all, I genuinely want them to find help and happiness

[@jellopuddingful]

I've been told to humble myself with my tastes and I'm like 100 percent sure its because I'm fat. And of course its men telling me that 🙄. My body type is apparently undeserving of a certain type of man.

[@leonardthompsonjr3948]

@@jellopuddingful - You are correct.

[@melissathw]

Wow. You are a skinny person and you didn’t have to talk about this but you did and I APPLAUD you so hard for this!!! I’m a big queer black woman and I’m considered “brave” for just going to the beach so I really respect you for this 👏🏽 I think people jsut shouldn’t comment on other people s bodies, period.

[@samiasegero5484]

❤️❤️

[@ryo_chr]

when my mom blames my mood swings on my weight even tho i’m diagnosed and medicated for depression 😐

[@adlwas8176]

Depression is not real. You can be depressed, but depression is a safe space for the weak. You sound like someone who doesn't accomplish anything. Patriarchy my ass, no patriarch would let you this much sitting around and and cry for everyones problem and let's make the world amazing for evrryonr. No one should go through any hardship at all. Your all weak

[@Ash-zf8ir]

I hope you have someone to talk to that understands. Like a therapist. Therapy and medication go hand in hand.

[@Ash-zf8ir]

@@adlwas8176 I reported this comment for harassment.

[@mad_8321]

@@adlwas8176 omfg o hate people like you. deppression has been a thing since humans and ALL animals have been around. its not an excuse but an explanation for someones behavior. when did the op mention patriarchy either? oh thats right, they didnt. you just want to be mad about something. mind your goddamned business.

[@epicstare99]

@@Ash-zf8ir same

[@TheLeah2344]

I’m a skinny black woman and I remember being told that I was anorexic and need to gain weight. I was told I need to stop starving myself and eat soul food and I’m not a “ real black woman”. People also use to measure my wrist and laugh at how tiny it was compared to theirs. I was also told that I had an “ ass for a skinny girl “. Also I know this may offend some people but average looking skinny dark skin girls ( with more broad noses average features and acne ) get treated worst than average looking skinny light skin girls ( with those same features). My own brother bullied me for being skinny then he turned around and said this skinny light skin girl was cute and she makes being skinny “ work “.

[@brittanybeverly6049]

As a thin black woman too, I can relate to everything you just said. People really expect all black women to have curves and and when we don't they assume we're starving ourselves. I've always had good food habits and no matter how much I eat im still a size 2 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Ohh4udumn]

I relate to everything you said also. Being a thin black girl is 100 times different than being a thin white girl.

[@TheLeah2344]

@@brittanybeverly6049 It took me years to go from 95 pounds to 107. I’m a size 3 now. Now my weight sometimes goes up to 110 but then goes back down to 107.

[@Day2NoLean]

Your brother sounds like a colorist 🤢

[@elsiem7295]

I relate to this a lot and idk if it's just me, but whenever I'd speak to my heavier set friends about my experiences they would immediately undermine me or act like I made everything about myself. I feel like some things truly are projections of insecurities from others. I tried to look at it from her point of view but I heard her out, she just refused to hear me out.

[@elle_rose_xx]

I’ve had anorexia since I was 13. Fat phobia ruined my life. But now I get shamed for having small boobs and a small butt and it’s like WHY CAN NO ONE WIN. the popular slimthick body is unachievable for most people and from my understanding it’s taken from a fetishisation of a certain type of black figure and it’s so weird that we just cherry pick which race which type which body is cool at the moment. I am so tired of it.

[@xBlackBunnyx]

Also being seen as curvy is not the same as being seen as fat. They’re two different things. I feel like people conflate the two when curvy people walk through life different than fat people and “skinny” people.

[@roslyn-rose124]

To a certain degree but curvy people are fat shamed in the media

[@AmericanThighs97]

I absolutely agree. Curvy has always been considered more socially acceptable than fat, especially in this day and age when it's celebrated as "ideal", but also even in the 90s/2000s when we we're societally fixated on women's bodies being THIN thin. Society is willing to give bodies that are larger (up to a certain point) a "pass" as long as their body fat is distributed in a way that people find aesthetically pleasing.

[@roslyn-rose124]

@raj jar i get what you're saying but a lot of curvy people are still called fat and treated as such

[@roslyn-rose124]

@raj jar while she isn't necessarily curvy but she isn't skinny either Kate Winslet "There was a time in Hollywood when this woman was laughed at in casting rooms - and referred to as 'Kate Weighs-A-Lot.' " also let's not forget when tyra banks looks "curvy" in 1 photo and was called fat and ridiculed

[@roslyn-rose124]

@raj jar okay so what I gave you 2 examples these women aren't fat yet they got the "fat treatment " not to mention tyra was at the beach aka off duty attacking herself that was extremely hurtful

[@theforgetfulnugget8971]

"Its not about her trauma, its about her weight." Wow.

[@meganholloran373]

As a fat person, there were a lot of things you discussed here that I'd never even thought about before, but hit hard. One I have noticed is the medical treatment, though. When I was living in Korea, if I went to the doctor about a cold or allergies or a headache or a spider bite or ANYTHING, they would ALWAYS say that losing weight would help.

[@zyriahangdush509]

You have to look it right..cuz losing weight will help. When your overweight or plus sized your body is always under stress. Being under stress will cause problems. All of you get so offended at everything that you don’t think. Look up what happens to ur body when overweight or plus sized. Bones strained, arteries clogged and risk to serious health illnesses. For example,My Grandma was overweight (325) pounds. She started having problems and got Diabetes. The doctor told her to lose weight and she thought,” he’s fat phobic”. She lost weight anyways and became healthy ( healthy not extremely skinny), most of her problems went away. Stop getting offended at everything and really look at the health risk

[@lindenshepherd6085]

@@zyriahangdush509 There's a difference between being plus-sized and being unhealthy. For a lot of people in my family, being heavy is healthy because we come from northern Germany and our genetics lean towards a denser bone structure and an easier build-up of body fat to stay alive in that climate. Our most common health issues, like high blood pressure and high cholesterol, are either determined mostly by those genetics or the high stress environment everyone enforces. My mother, who weighs the same as my aunt, is healthier than my aunt because she takes the time to destress from work. There is a point where being overweight will negatively impact your health, but that point is different for everybody. If you want to bring that up and criticize some of the toxic parts of body positivity, go ahead, but please don't conflate a healthy body with a skinny body.

[@sophiasmith5949]

@@zyriahangdush509 if a person is concerned about health and other conditions that's what they should say.. When men or women who are body builders and carrying around that extra muscle weight which by the way is still overweight do they have people telling them they are obese??? Last time I checked the bmi does not take into account muscles. So lets cut the crap most dont care about medical concerns because if they did that's what they would lead with.

[@hbhbsb6931]

I don't need to go to Korea to hear that I already hear it here in Spain I could be dying bcs of a new virus and they'll tell me to lose weight and comeback in a year and they wouldn't even give you tips to do so

[@uh8300]

@@lindenshepherd6085 You absolutely WRECKED them with simple facts

[@emmah1750]

I hate that people feel as though they have any room to speak about anyone’s body negatively.

[@AlwaysAmTired]

I'm fat and was honestly scared to click on this video because the vaaaast majority of videos about fat people are just about how horrible we are. Thank you for taking time to understand and for showing fat people talk about their experiences.

[@slowlyrunning]

Yeah and I was also scared to check the comments cause on videos like this there's always a bunch of fatphobic comments but surprisingly most people aren't hating at least from the comments I've read

[@samiasegero5484]

@@slowlyrunning fr

[@stvk99]

stop being fat and you'll stop being scared. fear is an indicator of insecurity

[@heartyohane]

@@stvk99 if ur fatphobic just say that

[@stvk99]

@@heartyohane I'm fatphobic.

[@quagmire541]

This is the first time I've heard or at least internalized the used of the phrase "comparative activism," and that's such a good term. It has so many applications and it's so concise. Beyond this excellent and balanced video, I'm glad to have that

[@TeeNoir]

Thank you! Trying to take my own advice with that one as well

[@quincy2415]

I kinda love myself when I watch videos like this. It made me realize that I had some fatphobia in me, and gave me a new perspective about body positivity. Instead of feeling all attacked in shit, I’m able to accept that I’ve made a mistake. And my capability to understand and see where I can improve makes me proud of myself.

[@faithd4161]

Proud of you too ❤️

[@likepocketsjingling]

As a naturally petite person, my experience is that while both fat and skinny people can be body shamed (and unfortunately sometimes people will well-intentionally but misguidedly hype up fat women by saying things like "you aren't a real woman unless you're above [certain/weight] size" when I was just over there minding my own business XD). The difference between me and fat women is that the assumptions made about me for my size are largely positive - that I'm disciplined, hard-working, take care of myself (lolol my ideal Friday night is sitting in front of Netflix with the cat and a pint of Ben & Jerry's and I hate the gym) - and that society is built around my frame. I can fit comfortably into airplane/bus seats, have clothing designed with my body type in mind and am still petite enough to buy children's size tops and shoes, which saves money. I see plenty of representations of people who look like me in media without them being made the butt of jokes. People who do look like me in media also tend to be viewed as attractive and successful. And those are just a few examples. The body positivity movement started because a group of people, who do not look like me, have been made to feel ashamed about their size and - as you said - they were generous enough to invite the rest of us into it. A casual google for anyone will also show that there's a correlation between success, wealth and size - skinny people are more likely to be hired, promoted (especially if they're women) and are generally treated better by customer service reps and so forth. So yes, while body image is an easy subject to be selfish about and it did used to be hurtful when people would imply I wasn't a real woman because of my lack of curves, it is *not* exactly the same as fat shaming and we petite/skinny people need to be more salient about that.

[@SapphicSis]

finally a skinny person who gets it. neither is better or above one another but I don’t think a skinny person struggles the same way a fat person does and you pointed that out tremendously.

[@crispybi1474]

this comment reminds me of Peggy McIntosh’s metaphor of the invisible knapsack of white privilege. no commentary I can add on that connection, but your comment is well-written and what I want to show to every person to help them understand the systemic body shaming and oppression of fat people.

[@ladydontekno]

I just want to point out real quick that “petite” has nothing to do with weight, just height. I’m 5’ 1” and I used to be plus sized. Losing weight didn’t make me petite, not getting tall made me petite 😂

[@likepocketsjingling]

@@ladydontekno I think it's a matter of semantics but I see your point. I'm from a country where petite is typically taken to mean someone who's short and small framed - otherwise you just get described as "short." Whereabouts are you from, out of curiosity? Not coming for you, promise, just being a nerd 🤓

[@ladydontekno]

@@likepocketsjingling I’m from the US, and here “petite” literally just means a short woman; short men are not described as petite.