The Soccer Player Who Fouled Someone In Three Seconds (Funny Soccer Stories)

[@stuartboyd5772]

Seriously? Calling it soccer lads, that's yous marked as wankers now

[@mjr2451]

Stuart Boyd I appreciate the attempt to lead us Americans in on this so I’m watching this all the way through since they are making the effort. But I totally get it: gridiron football is more hand egg meets world war one trench warfare.

[@bobdole4916]

I don't see the problem - it's a British word, so it doesn't hurt anything if the British use it.

[@ReiverGames]

​@@bobdole4916 This is a tired argument. Yes, it was a word invented and used in Britain in the 1860's or something, but no-one here has called it soccer in 100 years. It's football.

[@bobdole4916]

@@ReiverGames It's not an argument - it's a fact. Yes, it's called football now, but the word soccer was invented by the English, so acting as though it's American's fault for it is a lie. We've got our own sport called football, so it only makes sense to have a different name for the other sport - luckily our friends from across the Atlantic came up with just such a word.

[@cocainecowboy_]

@@bobdole4916 well no the name is American football so maybe if Americans actually used the name it would be better, besides your foot barely touches the ball in American football besides punting it over the goal

[@mdub3900]

Eurotrip is a criminally underrated film... Not that Scotty knows

[@JohnUnsub]

Scotty definitely doesn't knowowo

[@psx1577]

but dont tell scotty

[@lukeholland8083]

This isn't where I parked my car.

[@SentientNo6]

It definitely is. Absolutely love that movie.

[@TimD86]

... me 'scuusi 😅

[@allstarkid551]

I'm kinda disappointed no one made a joke about vinnie being the juggernaut

[@josh1234rulz]

part of the reason i watched :(

[@streakgaming6106]

THIS MAN RIGHT HERE, TAKE MY UPVOTE GOOD SIR!

[@oliverdouble-u8107]

Vinny Jones was once told he wasn't playing, went to the pub, got drunk, then got rang up by his manager telling him to play because someone got injured. He came and started the game drunk and played one of the best games of his life.

[@kyleclarke6244]

The best one of those skits is a bit of fry and Laurie when Hugh Laurie is teaching kids how to dive in the box

[@blindtruth4614]

Best Vinnie Jones scene has to be the Shrinking Balls scene from Snatch in my opinion.

[@Meatwad00]

Blind Truth Don’t forget about when he runs into Boris the Blade/ Bullet Dodger.

[@Yashirmare]

@@Meatwad00 You mean the part in the exact same scene?

[@Meatwad00]

@@Yashirmare Nope. That scene is with the 3 black guys with the replica gun and Tony schools him on how he can tell it's a replica. This is the one where he runs into Boris in the house and Tony shoots him. A lot. If those are close enough to each other, then yeah. It's been years since I've watched the movie, but I just love with Tony and Boris meet.

[@GodKingBob]

Yeah the same pub scene basically once the blokes run they run into Boris and bullet tooth tony ends up dead because of the Yankee Doodle wankee

[@kurtisgonzales37]

Yes sir

[@abradolfhonkler9287]

A real man opens beer bottles with other men's eye sockets.

[@priapus1279]

2:48 that "someone" is the great Gazza. Raoul Moat's best mate

[@irnbru5496]

Ewan Topping never cross a moat

[@dinorancher5560]

Vinnie Jones is the man. He transitioned into acting from playing football, as opposed to modern footballers who act instead of play. My baby takes the morning train...

[@choderyder7315]

vinnie didn't act he just played himself in every film.

[@Chevalier_knight]

Jones is correct when he said it's the soft foreign players who have ruined the sport with rolling about .

[@chocolatefudgebrowni3225]

He works from 9 to 10.....

[@nunya2587]

@@Chevalier_knight what a shame that those soft foreign players are markedly better at the sport

[@Chevalier_knight]

@@nunya2587 they aren't it's simply that the foreign players push out any British players from getting the spot , if we banned all foreign players in British football we would have winning teams again

[@cking4869]

Soccer stats: -Kicking -Running -Dribbling -Acting

[@LivingDeathGuy]

When are they just gonna pan the camera over to the couch and show the like six people sitting there😂

[@sidarthur8706]

soccer? couch? where have i ended up?

[@Guerrilla_Grodd]

@@sidarthur8706 um... The internet?

[@jacobwansleeben3364]

@@sidarthur8706 Let me translate for you *Clears throat* "S.O.F.A."

[@thomashounsome7737]

My favourite Vinnie Jones line is from Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. " There is one more thing, it's been emotional."

[@Zahgurym]

Couple seconds into video..."Vinnie Jones"... Ah, makes sense. Love that guy.

[@danielupson288]

The video ref is a key tool in rugby and it adds more tension when it's used to verify a try.

[@LunchThyme]

And _even_ more tension when it's used to invalidate one.

[@RoberttheWise]

Every major team sport uses video refs and precise time keeping and it works just fine. It's just Association Football that weirdly insists on acting like it's 1889 and they are a bunch of factory workers who can only afford one whistle and one watch among the 25 of them.

[@StevenFox80]

"That's just Vinnie n a nutshell" - in combination with the pic, a the perfect pun

[@juancontrerasalvarado1788]

*Last name is Smallwood* *Gets a mug that says "size matters" in it*

[@thorne9790]

Can’t believe Adam as a blades fan hasn’t mentioned the time Keith Gillespie got sent off before play restarted (after he’d just come on as a substitute) for elbowing a guy in the face (can’t remember the team, want to say Reading). Technically the fastest red card ever from a specific player’s introduction

[@davemarx7856]

Vinnie Jones in the musical comedy series "Galavant"

[@Mauther]

and actually singing. a romantic duet. Horribly.

[@ZikedY]

It's the touching of the hairs which can cause footballer to fall down and sprain the leg and arm

[@juckoosaurus4316]

You guys should do the time the ref sent off the wrong player during the arsenal v chelsea game lmao

[@Moldymessiah98]

The best foul was when Cantona went and kung fu kicked that fan in the crowd

[@Mauther]

I'd argue the best was Cantona's apology for the kick when ordered to do so by the league. If your going to require someone to apologize, you better write the apology for them.

[@hokutoulrik7345]

The best role was one where he was completely silent until the very last scene of the movie and then just drops the most philosophical bit of dialog in the movie.

[@jamieslingsby9907]

There was a funny dive in the most recent world cup, think it was england vs croatia. the english goalkeeper made a really good save and as they were passing him one of the croation players give him a pat on the back as if to say 'nice, that was a good save' etc. and the keeper went down as if he'd been shot. it was hillarious.

[@dramoth64]

I think that it was Robbie Savage who reputedly had a referee go up to him at the start of a game and show him a yellow card.

[@chakyikac6781]

Smallwood hold a cup that says "size matters". Priceless.

[@918Mitchell]

Love him in Galavant.

[@chantellelevesque9296]

For me one of the hands-down best films that Vinnie has ever been in is Survive Style 5+ by Gen Sekiguchi. It’s a film with five simultaneous storylines that slowly merged together and Vinnie plays a hitman and he does such a freaking good job. 10/10 would recommend, hilarious.

[@wobbly_spoon]

This channel is much more enjoyable when drunk

[@Just_For_Kixz]

Vinnie Jones in Swordfish "If that rocket was a suppository would that bad man shove it up my arse?"

[@C.C.Sinclaire]

The best thing was that the speaker of the two guys bonking theire heads together said: that just had to happen

[@xombi213]

It's funny I just recognize him as an actor as a bad guy in movies lol

[@raphfelix6305]

Vinnie Jones is a beast. Love the guy.

[@jaredmorgan3665]

4:44 How about opening a bottle of beer using a puddle of water?

[@k0lpA]

1) but the bottle in upside down with only the tip being in the water 2) wait for winter 3) pull the bottle

[@Ninjakiw1]

I think my favorite or least favorite given that it was against a player from my team was back in 2010, in a Champions league game between my club FC Copenhagen against Barcelona, when the Barca goalkeeper Victor Valdez jumped out of the penalty box foot first straight to the face of our then forward Dame N'doye and of course was only given a yellow.

[@_Yep_Yep_]

3 seconds is blisteringly fast. He would cheat and be offsides a leg or two when the whistle blew, then off to the races. Id do the same when i played center striker to screw up the other side's 2nd touch after kickoff. Still...3 seconds of sprint and committing an egregious foul is something to marvel at.

[@igorkopacynski8906]

Just to show how tough female soccer players can be, Alex Morgan, one of the best soccer players in US, had her knee dislocated that she immediately fixed and kept playing.

[@257joker]

Been binging Fact fiend for like 3 days...Didn't even know Mean Machine existed until I watched your Longest Yard video. Mean Machine is def the better version.

[@randompearson1626]

"Eurotrip? hey i almost seen that before"

[@Relyx]

I still remember being at St. Andrews when Martin Taylor broke Eduardo's leg. That snap was so loud. It looked like Taylor was going in for the tackle at a decent time and then you just heard CRACK, followed by Eduardo's bone bulging out the side of his sock.

[@michaelbooth2890]

I once went to a Derby County match. The referee was so bad he was replaced at half time. Also if you want to find out about an example of a crooked referee, check out the match between South Korea and Italy in the 2002 world cup.

[@nickfonte1460]

The eurotrip part is one of the greatest in film

[@jessicaable5095]

Is anyone going to mention that role he had in Galavant? He had a song...at least in the soundtrack

[@Not_W0]

Man I wish they talked about Scott sterling that skit is fucking incredible

[@favoritemustard3542]

@ 11:40 Just 1 "Ph-Game," huh? hah

[@MetelAdict]

On people diving, feels like wrestling. You’ve been worked brother.

[@mrbushwookie6051]

He is the juggernaut from x-men! That's where I knew him from

[@feverXdream]

Bullet Tooth Tony, best character ever.

[@shinetilly]

The best Vinnie Jones movie is “Survive Style 5+” No one ever knows what I’m talking about because it’s from Japan but damn that movie is amazing!!

[@mario27171]

What is your function in life?

[@LG02380]

I remember watching a FA Cup game with Mansfield Town and Stoke. Robert Huth literally karate kicked a Mansfield Player. Dont think he even got a yellow. 🤦‍♂️

[@yugenheorte6828]

Jorge Masvidal v Ben Asren ufc match that lasted seconds, there's a good story behind it, would make a good video

[@tovekauppi1616]

What about the player from the Netherlands who kicked one of the Spanish players in the chest during the finals of a world/cup or European championship a few years ago. He was somehow allowed to continue playing.

[@aceofspoons8382]

How on earth did you find a picture of Roy Keane smiling?? It's eerie

[@SheerDrop]

Vinnie Jones is a fackin legend. Dying breed.

[@mindlessmeat4055]

I know it isn't your guys football, but there was that american football superbowl game. I can't remember the exact year, like 2007, but the Seahawks were playing and the ref's kept calling the worst plays. It was awful.

[@Lynsey17]

Please do the hockey player who scored a goal with an opposing player's stick :) Or just a video about Patrick Roy or Sean Avery.

[@ryunakama8926]

another player that may be interesting to cover would be neil 'razor' ruddock(from that nickname you know he doesnt play nice) he once broke both andy coles legs in a single tackle...apparently he told the ref that cole dived...

[@Bullwinkle]

I knew he was a badass in football but never knew the whole story this is amazing

[@veerk3494]

the worst injury in football ever has to be demba ba breaking his leg, literally in an instant he gains a second knee

[@kickseja]

Hes sphynx in gone in 60 seconds and is badass

[@Matthew-dy6gy]

No mention of Zidane's iconic headbutt against Materazzi?

[@thorne9790]

Fadango or in the following WC final when Nigel De Jong Kung Fu kicked Xabi Alonso in the chest and miraculously doesn’t get sent off

[@skittles074]

Should've nutted him in the head, the tosser got up and scored after that if I remember right.

[@nobody-pr7fg]

Fucking love Snatch, lock stock and two smoking barrels

[@dfpguitar]

Vinnie recently lost his wife

[@bonesdt4]

Hahaha brilliant

[@0xxlaura]

looovee eurotrip

[@unpoppablebubble]

I think the same year that Reading v Watford game happened there was another goal in the same league that was given but never went in, I think it was Crystal Palace v Bristol City but my memory isn't too great

[@derFridle]

A few days ago I learned about a guy called Lord playfair. What a damn sick name.

[@stevenrodriguez3763]

Now I need to find his cpr video just for company safety day training

[@squidcaps4308]

You do not start from opposite ends. You need to be on your side of the pitch, even a millimeter from the middle line will do. The circle in the center is also forbidden from the defense but it still only about 10 yards/meters distance.

[@adam5580]

You should do an episode on the hard knocks in AFL.

[@sledgeandhishammer253]

It’s not soccer it’s football we’re not Americans

[@internetguy692]

The word soccer is british

[@danielrose7566]

@@internetguy692 yea like a hundred years ago smartie

[@chelseahulmston9056]

He knows this. It's been explained before why they sometimes use american words for things. This is because most of their viewers are american.

[@thebladevanguard1412]

@@internetguy692 actually it originates from Norway as the term soccer derives from the old word socher meaning agile foot. The leader of the French resistance, Howard Green, adopted the word for his newly invented sport. After being captured by British soldiers, Howard requested that he be freed if he beat them in a 1v12 match of soccer. He lost and was sentenced to 120 hours of community service because of it. So you're wrong, learn the facts please

[@internetguy692]

@@thebladevanguard1412 [citation needed]

[@Lynsey17]

Is there a reason why faking injury in football/soccer is so common when it's largely not done in other professional sports?

[@alfiehaigh8412]

You have the Roy keane/håland fact the wrong way round for half of it, it was keane that broke hålands leg and shouted abuse at håland

[@ESCfromNome]

Awfully considerate of you lads to call it "Soccer" in this title...

[@Hobbyblasphemist]

i suspect it had something to do with reaching a wider audience. Although perhaps calling it just football would've made for good North American clickbait to unsuspecting NFL fans.

[@MegaDrunkViking]

A"soc(cer)"iation football.

[@Altitudes]

Disappointed there was no mention of the strong rumours that Vinnie left United because Billy Whitehurst laid him out.

[@kazghost]

Wait. . . so the juggernaut was a soccer player? 😂😂

[@consolestick3371]

That foul of Keane on haaland was one of the reasons his son didn't went to man united. That and him being a man city player

[@ryiin]

I feel sorry for the guy who contributed 50% of this conversation and you can't see him.

[@thatbritishmodelguy]

I play at youth level, this guy snapped someone's spine and got a warning

[@deanscantena548]

A ref called a foul from the other side of a high school/middle school basketball court

[@bryceduncan951]

When I was in high school I was keeper and I intentionally close lined someone and broke there nose and got off without the whistle even getting blown

[@warriorfromthevalley]

I have a proposition. For as long as the male players continue to put on Razzie Award winning performances with their injuries, their division shall be called Soccer. They can earn back the title of Football when they give Oscar worthy performances.

[@freddier47]

My favourite appearance is in arrow

[@kurtisgonzales37]

His next role was in SNATCH

[@davidrutherford6311]

I am thankful to soccer for giving us rugby.

[@IamStrqngx]

When my fellow Brits call it "soccer". I'm literally dying

[@vyke6468]

I mean half of their views are American and we call it soccer

[@IamStrqngx]

@Lord Raiden it's kind of not though

[@jakevex4198]

3 minutes in And already getting yelled at by my little sister the laughing too loud

[@Altitudes]

Naah nah nah nah he's a Blade and he's a Blade

[@aidanmagill6769]

Fact Fiend? Contains no fact-checking apparently. Haaland played a few days later for his country and again in his club's next fixture. He did retire soon after due to a knee injury, his left knee.

[@denisp8432]

You should do a video in the player that got 3 yellow cards in one match

[@alexhorn5577]

no footage of the 3 second foul?

[@CaitlinBloodyMary]

No mention of Big Dunc going to jail for a foul on the pitch?

[@Sk8ingcasper12]

Anyone know what that bagpipe song is called playing at 3:59 - 4:04?

[@russelledwards001]

Football innit

[@jonthorn8979]

What do the rest of the world call American football? Rugby?

[@azizanputra]

How about that time the ref gave 2yellowcard and 1 redcard and another yellow card to a player and he still on the field.

[@charliepocknell1194]

We’re all blades aren’t we

[@mohammadbahrami9859]

you guys must watch omid djalili as a Referee .

[@dirkdiggler4136]

That's Bullet Tooth Tony?

[@rhysmason2330]

“Soccer”

[@__-sp1ly]

Bullet tooth tony!!!!