The STRAIGHTEST Guy at the State Fair

[@RyanLongcomedy]

Austin this weekend! then Detroit, Portland, Phoenix, Plano, Toronto, Baltimore, Buffalo ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH: ryanlongstore.com

[@jaewok5G]

you're going to bufallo in February? … are you Canadian?

[@stevealford230]

He said BACCER farmer. Not biker farmer. Tobacco.

[@mrmagoo8956]

I wanna take my wife but she speaks Spanish, are you willing to do your entire set with google translate? I’ll probably drag her along regardless

[@jumpingoutofairplanesmentality]

The most powerful way to be sure that theyre not a gayo is to find out and not just ask but to find out if they celebrate gay Christmas

[@jaewok5G]

@@jumpingoutofairplanesmentality wtf is 'gay christmas'

[@milseq]

This brother changed his accent while talking to his mom as if she wouldn't understand otherwise. I love it.

[@Romanovhundreds17]

They do it all the time

[@kchen48]

Code switching

[@davidswanson5669]

Well it was a heavy piece of personal truth that he was about to lay on her so I think he wanted to sound as close to his mother’s image of him as possible.

[@gunner9936]

​​@@Romanovhundreds17 whos they?

[@Romanovhundreds17]

@@gunner9936 Indians and you

[@dannyarcher6370]

Wife: "I'm gonna go wait in the car. You can do whatever you want." Straight mega-chad confirmed.

[@DaGleese]

The only question is: does he give lessons?

[@dinosaurclub]

imagine how silent that ride home would be lol

[@im.meghan]

The fanfaron of the group. As soon as that guy gets home, he is getting whipped. Machismo to hell

[@negativeindustrial]

@@dinosaurclub No ride, with any woman, is ever silent.

[@DoctorMandible]

@@dinosaurclub win-win

[@jordanwaters2528]

One of the boys from NC here, the camo man wasn't a "biker farmer" he was a " 'backer farmer" as in tobacker as in tobacco

[@jerrywhidby.]

Ah

[@swisscheeseplease97]

Ah

[@limabeats2389]

Bacon farmer

[@azp4793]

Ah

[@truthbetold1855]

As in old nicotine leaf. As in retro e-cigarette.

[@lizafrench8455]

"Wearing camouflage so the gays can't find him" Jeez 💀

[@TheHorseshoePartyUK]

Homophobes think about what men get up to in bed together even more than Freddie Mercury ever did. Change my mind.

[@mikehunt69981]

Sheeeeeesh

[@piperuk5366]

Yes!!🤣

[@hammypie]

I love it lol

[@redhammer5783]

It was such a good comment lol

[@tonymarselle8812]

I do think the camo guy might have been the straightest man at the fair. He was polite. Good dude.

[@magos2610]

💀

[@woodboogerfarm]

his ear was deff straight

[@prooney1031]

‘Bacco farmer is a straight as it gets

[@penguinjay]

Bo' means buddy

[@GrassPossum]

Gays often wear camo. It's also kind of pretentious unless you're actually doing something which would justify camouflage designed for anything but street wear. True men, do not feel a need to adopt apparel just to advertise the fact and are more obviously masculine by the way they walk, and talk. Polite and respectful discourse with and around women is part of what talk I mean too. As the most masculine Sigma Man of my generation, I am imparting one of the core tenets of manhood to you youngsters. It isn't learned, so much as it must be discovered. Boyhood lasts as long as it takes to learn it though. I use the word man, but to me being straight isn't even a question. I prolong my orgasm so as to ensure my woman is satisfied simply by trying to imagine two men kissing, and it is more a state of mind because if it actually happens and lasts for a second I will go limp even though I do it because I am close to the vinegar stroke. I am not rude or disrespectful to poofs but to be in my company they better be close to enough to real men that they're not thin skinned about being made the butt of jokes and referred to by the usual terms men use with their familiar gay workmate. Poofters are nothing new and their acceptance in society relied upon them acknowledging their difference the norm was all it took for them to be accepted usually. Bigotry is a human condition and intuitive. It can only be reformed, with patience and honesty and tolerance. because tolerance is the missing element for racists, surely treating racism with ultimate intolerance, to the point of persecution no less, is the wrong message to be sending. I tolerate racists, religious bigots and even thugs among my small but well established collection of friends. Also fellow Muslims, Christians and Atheists, etc. A few races too but also Aussie aborigines, one tribe of whom specifically are my allies in spirit and body. Nobody among my friends is expected to change their opinions about anybody or anything. However often with me as intermediary, because I have been all of the above at some time in my life, they get to share ideas and find common ground and I am privileged from time to time to witness a paradigm shift with one or more of my friends. As they unravel the tangle of misunderstandings which plague human unity and keep us helplessly enslaved to those who create the division, so as to enable our easy enslavement

[@DekuLord]

Dude went from the straightest guy in the fair to coming out to his mom in one short conversation with Ryan.

[@Sergiuss555]

I would convert for Ryan too

[@hitchslap8254]

Ryan's a gay whisperer.

[@mycarrysun]

The Ryan effect

[@mikefabbi5127]

The $20 helped

[@darkdudironaji]

The Indian guy had to put on an accent to speak to his mom in English 🤣

[@Enward834]

Lol that was funny

[@NirtieDigger]

Lol that was funny

[@user-ur9lu7bd5s]

Lol that was funny

[@AwfullWaffle]

I came to say the same thing 😂

[@neosyndrome8931]

Lol that was funny

[@radfoo72]

You get that guy to call his mom and tell her he's gay and then all of his friends give a round of applause🤣💀🤣💀🤣💀🤣💀

[@rmcjr5206]

If you can call your mom and tell her you're gay without the slightest concern that she'll take it seriously, you deserve to be crowned the straightest guy at the fair.

[@inthefade]

Those kids probably know who Ryan is lol. If they don't, they do now. Funny dudes.

[@Aryzo]

Peep the Indian mother immediately guilt tripping her son into not being a degenerate "what will I tell your sister?" eg her sister is too young to understand and she s gonna have to tell her poor soul every detail 🤣

[@TomFromMars]

That was actually quite wholesome. That's why i respect Ryan a lot, he disses the left ful strength but when he meets someone genuine, he also goes back to being genuinely cool himself and you can feel that on camera.

[@hitchslap8254]

To be fair, for added authenticity it should have been a round of jazz hands.

[@sbeerman1919]

The dude that called his mom is an absolute legend

[@dutchvoornik6401]

. . . smartass college boy

[@awesomeapple-jt8jd]

Damn straight

[@whyisblue923taken]

@@awesomeapple-jt8jd Damn gay lol

[@briannelson3830]

That’s the part I just died

[@virgiliustancu9293]

Absolute idiot.

[@ryanh1275]

Ryan randomly giving the dude $20 for the call 😂😂

[@mr.enigma8863]

But also refuse the handshake 😂

[@dashroodle9507]

Lol the clapping instead of handshaking...

[@triplea6174]

He did shake his hand but after clapping lol

[@OfficialGOD]

Lmao

[@hammadhussain3082]

Man deserved it. It requires heavy duty steel balls to even imagine saying that to your Asian parents.

[@ScubaShneve]

Ryan worked really hard to get that old guy talking, then got stuck in it.

[@burntieburntwell]

I get stuck in conversations like that daily and I wish I could handle it like Ryan did

[@airraverstaz]

The look on his face when he mentioned *French* fries though 😂

[@cbreezy69]

Ryan can manage to be the most interesting thing at a fair. Incredible

[@TheChocolateChakra]

Dos Sakes? That's what sushi said.

[@philmcrevis9081]

“Not gonna drink only one Mountain Dew like some gay” 🤣🤣 I love you Ryan

[@martinburrows6844]

So straight he hates his own sperm 😂

[@Matt-xv2cp]

"Everybody likes boobs, man" Truer words have never been spoken.

[@TomFromMars]

The defeated face of the vegan hotdog lady at 0:28 really cracked me up.

[@matthewphenix7952]

Daniel crushed that interview. You can really tell he loves women, always. Then his reaction to being asked if he liked boobs was so incredibly honest, he did not have to say yes, but did.

[@playerhimself8822]

I think we learned that the straightest guy at the state fair was inside us all along

[@ChicCanyon]

If a straight guy is inside me then he's not very straight. He's also a rapist.

[@playerhimself8822]

@@ChicCanyon you sound pretty straight chic

[@ChicCanyon]

@@playerhimself8822 not if we cant get this straight guy out of me im not

[@allouttabubblegum1984]

"Inside us" lol!

[@lolasdm6959]

Always hard to find the straight guy in a crowd

[@STdoubleDs]

“Calorie counting, hhmmm?” Made me laugh hard enough to choke on my quesadilla.

[@Neion8]

Idk choking on meat doesn't seem very straight; clearly not the straightest guy in the comments section - *the search continues!*

[@ReikiontheRun]

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[@JohnSmith-zs1bf]

Choke on my what?

[@ktrainbow9765]

The old man!!! 😂 He took over your interview!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@WinkLinkletter]

Greedy.

[@preventablesuffering6239]

20 bucks for coming out is pure gold lmao

[@nutbastard]

I mean, I'm not gay but twenty dollars is twenty dollars.

[@ShadyRonin]

Lmao the kid coming out to his mom was incredible

[@stampede4107]

That Indian guy was a good sport. I’m glad Ryan paid him for the guy’s troubles.

[@magnusgranskau7487]

I felt it only made that moment cheap. That was brave of that Indian guy though

[@Janzer_]

gotta love that Ryan always includes the elderly perspective

[@meghnawahid695]

"do you like chicks?" "Yeah,I am a lesbian"- the most straight dude😂😂

[@dive2drive314]

"Oh so the lemonade wasn't for you then. Had me worried for a second" Lmao

[@The-Man-On-The-Mountain]

"But anything french mmmmeeh..." 😂

[@RespitBAM]

Poor Ryan... little did he know that the straightes guy on the fair was himself all along...😔

[@allanshpeley4284]

Hah! Ryan isn't even the straightest guy at the pride parade.

[@DavidSmith-ef4eh]

Ryan isn't even the straightest guy in a room with Elton John and Tim Cook...

[@RespitBAM]

Nice so I still got chances xD

[@CW0123]

Ryan *IS* the straightest guy in Toronto

[@redhammer5783]

@@CW0123 lmao its that bad there eh

[@gustaftheone9279]

I love the friend who put his arm around his mates shoulder after he said "i'm fully straight - straighter than a ruler" 😂 shit-stirring buddies are the best

[@adamnoble1689]

"Wearing camo so the gays can't find him"

[@kaprantil]

The older guy talking about the cost of fair food reminded me of my grandfather. Too cute.

[@Stantorr]

Well I be damned, there is like way more straight people than I thought after following Vice news for a while.

[@erjo2567]

I'm astonished

[@punkweb]

"so definitely wasn't that guy"

[@proletariatpashka1956]

really gives the saying “im not gay but 20 dollar is 20 dollar” a new meaning

[@primadonna2819]

Ryan's freak outs at the prices was on another level!

[@sc3639]

0:37 When I think of American, I think of this guy lol What a piece of work.

[@yaneyd93]

This is one of the few occasions where it's best to go to New York. There is not enough insanity here to make it as funny as usual.

[@dutchvoornik6401]

He worked well with what he had.

[@LokiTricksterG]

It's impossible to find a straight man in New York though.

[@Crash_Under]

I love how Ryan makes a trip to the state fair a tax write off.

[@__eee__]

I thought the TV (Conan...) and staged youtube clips had killed this type of interview format. But there's something unique in the way Ryan interacts with people. He is not a SJW, but those interactions can make you laugh without ridiculing the other person. They are absurd but not in bad faith. In another video he let a black guy in NY rant about illuminati for an entire video but somehow you end up thinking "LOL, that guy is cool". That's very rare. It reminds me of Nathan Fielder.

[@Kr1nkle]

Ryan is crushing that Danger Cats shirt!! Another great Canadian channel

[@ThePhysicalReaction]

I love the super old guy talking about shrink-flation how a inflation plus reduced sizes of products combined

[@jonolas1626]

This is like a sequel to Matt Walsh's "What is a woman?"

[@PlutoisaPlanet]

"Used to be a biker farmer" BRO he used to be a (TA)BACCO farmer. It's him!

[@derekbeltran5617]

These docuseries type of videos have me busting out laughing. Especially when he narrates about situations 🤣🤣🤣

[@Dan-rv3lb]

“I don’t even wanna hear the number. Get the fuck out of town.” 😂😂

[@CoffeeFresh_]

If Ryan long came to my town, I would be the guy following him around trying to listen to the interviews live. His comedy is gold.

[@themiddleplace]

"impeach me, I won't remember !" 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@Puffzilla777]

Dude didn't even tell his mom on the phone that he loves her... that's hardcore

[@dennismontalvo300]

"Any size" I can read between the lines 😂

[@JoyElectric567]

It would be incredibly weird though having some random giggling dude with a humpback and a nose ring coming up to you and asking how straight you are.. I totally get the guys just totally ignoring him and moving on.

[@masterofnone1481]

He has a humpback? 🤣

[@leansnscenes7806]

That's incredibly rude, ryan does not have a hump back

[@cvn6555]

No lie there. I'd be pretty sure Long was trying to recruit me for the other side based solely on his looks.

[@bradleythebuilder8743]

@@leansnscenes7806 okay maybe it’s just really bad scoliosis…..

[@JohnSmith-zs1bf]

Just some mild kyphosis. Nothing you can't fix in a few weeks with a good trainer/ therapist/Kelly Starrett youtube videos

[@THETRIVIALTHINGS]

"Impeach me, I wouldn't even remember" lmao XD Epic t-shirt! XD

[@ThomasG1231]

The clapping for the guy coming out 😂😂

[@ezekielbrockmann114]

"Do you have any, like tires on your car?" "No."

[@effindave6909]

After that add spot I can confirm Ryan was NOT the straightest guy at the state fair.

[@nathr7375]

time stamp? I missed it, did he have an advert somewhere?

[@effindave6909]

@@nathr7375 7:17

[@nathr7375]

@@effindave6909 oh i thought you meant in the background of the fair lol

[@collinmcarthur4672]

You and the editors get better and better every single video!... Much love 😆

[@TheCCress]

As a North Carolina native I love that you went to the fair and got to see the gems of our state LOL

[@Bro2189]

My girl and I were at the NC state fair on the last day. I would have loved to run into Ryan there 😂

[@joelsalyer5544]

Lol that wife giving bandana man the business

[@dive2drive314]

I remember being called gay all the time at school, and so did a lot of people. It felt like my main goal all through school was to make sure everyone knew i was NOT gay. Lol.

[@st_orlie]

You failed.

[@gregalexludwig]

Nah those people were right all along, you're gay.

[@dive2drive314]

@@evanfrabell8884 Bro I don't even hold my own schlong when i use the bathroom, because that would be gay!

[@dive2drive314]

@@st_orlie 'Hey Ethan is the name of the gay guy that was in our school!

[@dive2drive314]

@@gregalexludwig God damnit, Leroy.

[@fairtaxhtown]

Camo man even had straight ears

[@codystearley52]

😆

[@waynejohnson1786]

Bruh 😂

[@Cimlite]

That last guy wouldn't give his buddy a handy even if his life depended on it. Hell yeah brother! 💪😎

[@nathanbaldwin5782]

Lmao that was great, in the straightest way possible of course.

[@piperuk5366]

Nah, not buying it Nathan. I sense gay.

[@nathanbaldwin5782]

@@piperuk5366 dang, guess I need to add more camo to my wardrobe. Maybe a dirty cut off..

[@Lumbeelegend]

"Biker farmer" = "Tobacco Farmer. Bakker, is how he said it.

[@jordonwhite7634]

Why did thay dude put on a hard accent when he called his mom 😅😅

[@benjgames87]

As someone born and raised in Raleigh NC I’m so bummed I missed your visit bro. Great stuff as always

[@danhay8933]

straight guys never get bummed, be more like Dan

[@benjgames87]

@@danhay8933 Dangit! I’ve been outed

[@kevinkonig3892]

Damn no idea whether the Indian guy is straight or gay 😂

[@CheckOutMyPlaylists-sw1bo]

All I know is that he definitely doesn't seem like someone who likes being on the bottom.

[@NotQuiteFirst]

4:20 Camo dude has epic earlobes

[@FrenchCanadianGuy]

It's from them lobes being used as handle for doggy

[@dot_dot_pwn2650]

I wonder how many people think he's genuinely insane 🤣

[@showtime1235]

i watch his stuff religiously an im not totally convinced he isn’t

[@EonWil]

@@showtime1235 checks out

[@mikester9er]

Looks for straightest dude in the fair, also advertises passion fruit scented water. 😂

[@porsha1743]

He gave him $20 and wouldn’t shake his hand 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@cheesewizard2294]

After 14 days the curve was supposed to flatten out as straight as me, but, we all know that didn't go as planned.

[@dreaminginnoother]

this is funny... but you got a gay guy to come out and he was legit grateful to you. I feel like that's something.

[@jonathanbetenbender307]

"Camouflage himself so the gays can't find him" 🤣💀

[@6gunbeaufordiii514]

the Indian guy 🤣🤣 he changed accents when talking to his mom LMAO

[@Enbix]

- "you ever seen a dude naked?" - "no" SICK!

[@tomkingsley4266]

lulz

[@jerrywhidby.]

Has a pull down shade over the bathroom mirror just to be sure.

[@wylinout2257]

Scratch and Sniff water 🤣🤣

[@LokiTricksterG]

0:33 Guy was so straight, he didn't even want to look at another man. He was my winner for sure.

[@MrMctastics]

The videos keep getting better

[@trublgrl]

"Mother, I'm gay." "We know, son. Everybody knows."

[@fredjasper7378]

I feel your pain about the shotgun cost buddy

[@James-vj5hz]

Even my target load be pricey these days smh

[@LEARSIKCIGAM]

Ryan actually pulls a cowboy hat off.

[@wafflesmcgallagher934]

He pulls off more than cowboy hats, if you know what I'm saying.

[@LEARSIKCIGAM]

@@wafflesmcgallagher934 well played

[@jspeedking]

Hell yes! Love this, especially being from NC myself

[@AnaLucia-wy2ii]

I love the emotional background music when he calls his mom. 😂

[@1Plebeian]

The way you talked to the guy going on about prices was perfect lol.

[@lucadebuka]

4:37 I was expecting “oh, vice magazine”😪😭😆

[@crazycjk]

2:09 his friend in the striped t shirt has got banter, I appreciated that 😂

[@neverstop108]

He even recorded the call. He gonna burn him for life.

[@danielj3010]

Frank is killing it.

[@GingeRenee]

“So straight he hates his own sperm” 😂 that was hilarious!

[@rodiusmaximus]

I love that he just goes up to the vegan van and says he's at the wrong place for straight guys. And the look on the woman's face... He should totally go to the hotdog van and talk about dudes liking sausage.

[@danielmallory4687]

Respect to the man who went with his friend saying he is gay.

[@invisibot6]

"Do you have any tires on your car, we can talk about that?"

[@santiagoramos7229]

The straightest man was that last dude with the scented water. Legend

[@Its_Esoteric]

Do you go both ways a little? (HEEL NO!) that’s the kind of answer we’re looking for. LMFAO

[@USERNAME1-x5u]

The awkward round of applause for the nice gay man.

[@TannyYem]

Can one person be so sarcastic lop geesh the dry humor is overwhelming

[@ChewyChicken589]

So Ryan's turning it into the "Straight Fair" LOL

[@h1r086]

Underarmor guy ratted himself out by mixing up straight with gay. "Like happy?". He swapped gay and straight in his mind and responded to someone asking if he was gay when he was asked if he was straight. Only problem is he was trying to play dumb and act like he wasn't sure what he was being asked. He knew what he was being asked. Only mystery left to solve is.. does he know he's gay?

[@rillark123]

Love your stuff. Keep it up bro

[@stephenjohnson6841]

Another great one! Thanks for the laughs!

[@galisleo8737]

Straight guys will pause the video at 1:11.