Selling The Most Diverse Script in Hollywood: Goes Very Wrong

[@RyanLongcomedy]

ryanlongstore.com for the Merch drop fellassssss

[@EzBz982]

You killed in Cle! I’m dreading the day you become so famous that you can’t do these street interviews anymore😭.

[@RyanLongcomedy]

@@EzBz982 then you just have to do characters haha

[@nonono9194]

@@RyanLongcomedy I'm a screenwriter for the past 9 years trying to break in and I've visualised doing stuff like this hahahahaha P.s got this great script in my hands right now it's yours for 500k limited time offer man digital gold

[@kamranrowshandel6395]

I'm personally jealous that in the video there were [enough] girls wrapping your dick in money and making a human tank and following you around with guns to make sure they're a part of history rather than a playwright. It's touching to know I've written this. kzbin.info/www/bejne/noHTqJSjgtyKntk

[@BrettonFerguson]

I wrote a similar script. A trans woman with no arms or legs joins the navy. Other sailors don't accept her and throw her overboard in a heinous hate crime. I call it Bobera.

[@hwjules]

"You're interrupting my job". "Well it's my job to interrupt too so..." lmao, Ryan is the best troll on the internet.

[@Jiggerjaw]

That dude was so full of himself, you're holding a sign bro.

[@StoicDivinity]

*best troll in the STREETS

[@cooldud7071]

@@Jiggerjaw Everyone has bad days. If you were stuck holding a sign you'd probably just want your day to be over quickly.

[@TySoVm]

​@@cooldud7071 If Ryan Long came to my job to troll people I would be ecstatic.

[@hopinondeeznuts350]

That’s crazy, I thought I was the only one to see that part of the video. I’m so glad you quoted it to show that I wasn’t alone in seeing that part.

[@BlackCheezit]

Only a real longoloid like Ryan would intentionally give a scammer 300 dollars for no reason to put it in his video. A true warrior. Hell make it back sellin that sick merch

[@ThePrinceOfNigeria]

LMAO.. I Still genuinely want to think that guy was part of Ryan's act.

[@RyanLongcomedy]

Then I can finally make roll call

[@signa8]

I wonder how often it works for real. Probably too often. People are gullible.

[@Pyramanager]

@@signa8 they target tourists (non english speaking ones the most) because they dont know how scummy people there are. They only have the idea of a beautiful hollywood like in movies

[@user-bp6fd9ve3o]

@@RyanLongcomedy reach for the stars bud. 🌟

[@matthewIhorn]

"I probably shouldn't have put my dog down." Ryan's to stay in character and ability to deliver that line without an ounce of self awareness is amazing.

[@davidfocardi8516]

"I didn't want to bring any baggage"... I just about fell out of my chair hahaha

[@spacecase8791]

I find his humor so refreshing in a weird way lol

[@notstewie-HelpMeGetTo50SubsPlz]

"Oh... well I'm not going there" 😂

[@Balderdash1000]

It was about that time that the guy Ryan was talking to lost interest in continuing that conversation.. 😆

[@DekkarJr]

burh i laughed my ass off just looking at teh thumbnail say "no arms no legs" Call it No Arms, No Legs, No Problem! :D

[@notme222]

It's a shame to see Jason Bateman turning his back on the people who got him where he is. Souvenir store guy was right: Ricky Schroder would never do this to someone.

[@BVonBuescher]

I used to see Ricky Schroder in my home town of Grand Jct, CO all the time. Lets just say he likes to hit the slopes.

[@dr.floridaman4805]

@@BVonBuescher Columbia has the best snow capped slopes

[@matthewpatrick7263]

@@BVonBuescher My brother lives in Grand Jct and a few months ago, he found out that he'd just missed Rick Schroder at a store he worked at.

[@MarrsAttax]

I can't believe Jason has such a scummy agent

[@bearhunter321]

Who are these people anyway

[@michaelanthony4750]

Its amazing we live in a society where Ryan acts like this and he isn't even close to the craziest person these people have seen that day.

[@OtherDalfite]

Theres social crazy, and neurochemically damaged crazy.

[@NoahBodze]

What it’s really showing you is that we use empathy to stave off the crazy so that they won’t unleash on us. Regardless, that stumpy woman’s story is an inspiration to thumbs everywhere. This will become a movie and you and o get to lie to our friends and say we were there when it was just getting started.

[@PAKallman]

Los Angeles is way fuckin crazier than Ryan

[@Hadesfirst]

the last guy is the man. he probably already safed a lot of lives without knowing about it.

[@Eidolon1andOnly]

*saved

[@Threedog1963]

@@Eidolon1andOnly

[@RahzZalinto]

@@Threedog1963 Caren, cares about spelling :)

[@davidswanson5669]

OP wasn’t wrong, he means the guy has a lot of bodies locked away in safes, but is suppressing the memories. Ryan dodged a bullet.

[@NittyGritty420]

@@davidswanson5669 nice one

[@aimlessgamer6187]

As someone who is disabled it's nice to see someone tackle the ableism of the army. #rollcall

[@ImehSmith]

@@dwaynethecokejohnson8619 🤣🤣💯💯

[@ImehSmith]

👍👍

[@orangepants5749]

Ryan, don't give up. I never miss a single diversity movie and I really like your plot. The agent guy was probably too busy working on a new blockbuster. I'm sure he will call you some day about your appointment

[@danb3529]

I'm also a big time Hollywood agent who is a part of the Liberal Elite. I can introduce you to big time stars like Jim from the office or Ron from Parks and Rec. All ill need is $500 to introduce you.

[@RyanLongcomedy]

Still waiting

[@jameshansen1148]

@@RyanLongcomedy sorry to hear 'bout yo dog

[@mst5g826]

@@danb3529 I have a script about a gay teen sex romp movie called Gay Teen Sex Drive. It's only twenty minutes long because they find some older guys immediately. But, we can add some filler at the end with lots of meth and sodomy. Would you like to set up a mtg? I think this is the perfect time for gay teen movies at the box office.

[@NoahBodze]

If you’re not asking him to include an “arms race” pun that runs through the entire movie then all I hear is blah blah.

[@gigajerk6953]

The photographer was so nice. 😭 He was smart not to let Ryan into his backyard though😂

[@hoviksmail]

I hope Ryan realizes as he's laying down on the sidewalk in Hollywood, that's the public bathroom for homeless people.

[@ChildrenOfOwls]

Brother we live in NY, The homeless piss in Hollywood is at least twice as clean

[@benjamindover4337]

In a city full of attention seekers, "please stop bothering me" is like saying hello.

[@ImehSmith]

💯💯👍👍

[@DannerBanks]

Damn, that guy at the end was so nice to engage a crazy person in their delusions and not belittle him or write him off.

[@TheOptimalmax]

JAson Bateman just called and said he is interested in the script. He said that first guy was his official agent and he was looking for you the whole time.

[@rh9626]

Hi this is Jason Bateman here. This guy is right. I’ll let you come over to my house and pitch your movie script if you send me $300 via PayPal. I’m Jason Bateman.

[@ImehSmith]

🤣🤣💯💯👍👍

[@michaelevans1690]

Love the commitment of letting a guy obviously scam you because it will make the bit better

[@WildTrek]

He’s giving out too much of the plot for free. He’s gonna get his script stolen. A year from now I’ll laugh when I see a Roll Call billboard

[@michaeld184]

Starring Lizzo

[@laurocoman]

@@michaeld184 and Melissa McCarthy.

[@TinyCochran]

More like ad for our military

[@e.starling141]

Lmao. Yes.

[@manydirt2600]

Netflix would greenlight it

[@rustybones99]

“I probably have enough Rick Schroeder facts…” 😂😂

[@WinkLinkletter]

As if.

[@andypancini2130]

I could probably use some more

[@davidmenke7552]

Ryan is everything all of us need these days. He brings me real joy. I feel like such a weird fanboy whose a grown ass man, but I can't help it!

[@tonynussbaum]

Kinda gay...and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!

[@Person-ro6uh]

Gay

[@RyanLongcomedy]

Fuck yeah

[@anthonyreed480]

@@tonynussbaum Nussing wrong wizat.

[@Josh_Stuchbery]

@@tonynussbaum No you. You're gay! ;(

[@bobcougar77]

"I wanted to like call my mom and say fuck you I sold roll call" I can't stop laughing.

[@coolpeopleit]

I quite like the idea of Ryan Long fans in the area bumping into the tour guide, specifically asking him whether they can meet Jason Bateman through him and offering an extremely fake looking $300 bill. Just keep doing it until he starts to question his own reality.

[@Enbix]

That guy at the end is a kind soul.

[@noblephoenix6151]

Dude is getting scammed to meet celebrities like a tourist trying to buy coke on bourbon street.

[@DietersYT]

On bourbon street, you don’t even have to try to buy the fake coke. The fake coke comes to you

[@ImehSmith]

🤣🤣💯💯

[@-C-]

That photograh guy almost took you to an hotel to discuss your ideas... Ah Hollywood magic! Many careers started that way!

[@ImehSmith]

🤣🤣💯💯👍👍

[@joshandpaulie]

"the ball is in your court" best sales pitch I've ever heard bro. I almost bought a hoodie.

[@RyanLongcomedy]

Buy one immediately

[@bk4606]

I'm bout to

[@rofflesvanwagon]

Only 9 hours? I'll wait here till then. This is gonna be awesome

[@Teapro324]

I will comment before you

[@rofflesvanwagon]

@@Teapro324 oh yeah!!!! *aggressively sips coffee* we'll see about that.

[@titancloud]

It actually only two

[@dallymoo7816]

I haven't slept lol.. but for other reasons

[@rofflesvanwagon]

@@dallymoo7816 haha I'm just a night owl

[@excellent_name]

"I probably have enough Ricky Schroeder facts" no you don't, Ryan

[@RyanLongcomedy]

Coulda used a few more

[@bk4606]

@@RyanLongcomedy " While traveling with the freedom convoy, maskless Ricky Schroder was denied entry into the Dwight D. Eisenhower museum and called the security guard a “Nazi” for enforcing “evil federal government” mask rules...." I don't see a problem here. It's been proven masks do nothing.

[@ΑποστόληςΒαρλάγκας]

The sad part is that you probably gave them a script for free

[@XDWX]

Seriously. There will probably be a Disney+ miniseries next year with that exact story.

[@benjamindover4337]

"This summer... Rolling into a theater near you."

[@ImehSmith]

💯💯👍👍

[@Lolsauce117]

Ryan 😂😂😂 i love the street interviews bro, what kills me is ALL the extra questions after people say “no” 🎉

[@louididdy]

8:00 - I wanted to call my mom and say “Fuck you, I sold Roll Call”. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@IfYouLetMeStay]

I hope one day I can be that cool after a 300 dollar loss.

[@Jonnysh]

Danny has been training Ryan to accept these kinds of losses for years now with terrible stock/crypto advice

[@throwacnt7603]

@Franz Fanon Just dropping by to admire your profile picture, she's a good looking woman!

[@basedpatriotLT]

@@throwacnt7603 simp, go watch some manosphere to be a man

[@throwacnt7603]

@Franz Fanon Congrats, she has very pretty eyes.

[@iaminvisible2889]

@Franz Fanon that's weird

[@josphellihsilak4588]

"I probably got enough Ricky Schroder facts." Haha

[@fishntalk]

Be careful, Ryan. There are a lot of people in Hollywood who will steal your screenplay. It happened to me, many moons ago, with a film I wrote called Debbie Does Dallas.

[@JCDenton95]

Ah, a true legend.

[@fishntalk]

@@JCDenton95 Thank you, thank you.

[@ImehSmith]

🤣🤣

[@SeraphsWitness]

The guy at the end gave you legit dad advice. lol

[@4Mikes4Mindset4]

What a kind soul at the end

[@Peter-oz1oo]

It turns out that Hollywood is a tough place for a talented young man, don't give up Ryan.

[@4acae86]

I worked in that building across from the Chinese theater for a decade but don’t work out there anymore. I’m kinda disappointed that I missed my chance to see Ryan on the streets!

[@atodaso1668]

That has to be the most dedicated corner sign holder guy, that is his CAREER!

[@thomasdap8659]

honestly i think youre the funniest man alive mate

[@RyanLongcomedy]

🙌🙌

[@thomasdap8659]

@@RyanLongcomedy I knew manifesting is real u replying to me was all part of my divine plan

[@britischenadligen3760]

"And after that pep talk from my second best friend" me after someone has been moderately nice to me 😂

[@superhakker3198]

He called Jason Bateman a gaylord lmao

[@kevhead1525]

There was a great pitcher named Gaylord. No wonder he was nasty. Like a boy named Sue.

[@christianityisunstoppable4155]

Ryan going real deep this time. Like commando

[@patrickbaklava7297]

Like your step dad

[@thomasriddle8877]

LOL wild that scams are just sitting on the side of the road like that.. and it seems to be targeted at tourist..

[@radagast7200]

Haha. The scam in the comments made me chuckle.

[@z1z2z3z]

Roll-call sounds absolutely amazing...

[@RyanLongcomedy]

Buy merch to fund it

[@Blandyman]

"All right, well f****** whatever then." WHEEEEEEEEEEZE!

[@Blandyman]

When you politely admitted that you had enough Ricky Schroeder facts I almost died.

[@darrenstettner5381]

They should make an ultra woke parody movie. That could actually be pretty funny. Roll Call would be perfect.

[@Dan16673]

Crowd fund it and make it. I'd pay to watch it

[@Eidolon1andOnly]

Should find and watch the movie _Special Unit._

[@Grizzlox]

The market is ripe for woke parodies. I hope this becomes a thing

[@Dan16673]

@@Grizzlox I would gladly participate if I could

[@daveythehand4964]

Tropic thunder is really the closest I can think of, but that was made a decade ago

[@shanedaniel8954]

This was pretty hilarious. He was like “yeah Jason Bateman was interested earlier” freaking hilarious

[@catswellthecat7855]

The guy at the end was so wholesome but Ryan really hit him with the dead dog story 😭

[@proudatheist2042]

"My Big Fat Gay Greek Orgy." I never understood how My Big Fat Greek Wedding became a cultural phenomenon when it came out. However, My Big Fat Greek Orgy directed by Ryan NEEDS to become a cultural phenomenon.

[@odk1105]

I had a dream last night where Ryan took my cell phone before I went up to do stand up. Then I found it with both front and back shattered, on the floor. And Ryan didn’t wanna pay for it. The whole dream was me asking Ryan to cover at least 1/2 of the screen replacement.

[@ridndrty4468]

Touching story. I’m in tears.

[@illinoisgreg]

When I heard the title of his screenplay 50 seconds in i howled for a minute and had to rewind to watch that minute over. A plus.

[@Lightwait321]

‘…she becomes a General’😂

[@MKCarol-ms7lg]

In today's woke army it's the special needs position.

[@Lightwait321]

@@MKCarol-ms7lg I’m sure she’s an excellent, well rounded officer.

[@MKCarol-ms7lg]

@@Lightwait321 Obesity is admirable. LOL

[@CristianoKay]

"Oil?" lol, what's up with that subtitle??? Thanks for another hilariously tear-inducing vid. 🤣

[@screamdreamer9085]

“A lot of money is spent on this store” “FIVE DOLLAR SALE”

[@madjack730]

Your content honestly is the best.

[@RyanLongcomedy]

🙏

[@gammasmash1924]

That photographer at the end was a gem of a human being.

[@ucanheartheocean]

this video makes me think ryan saw "the oblongs" one night before he went to sleep, but he thought it was a dream

[@marccreation1052]

Jesus that guy with the sign...that really exists? That is one guy who will go on a killing spree for sure :D

[@hoviksmail]

Nah, they're too demoralized to hurt anyonebut themselves. Not only does it exist, some of the guys do tricks with their signs. Put on a little show.

[@Undaglibenglaubengloben]

I feel sorry for the actual nice people that cross Ryan’s path because they all get trolled nevertheless hahaha

[@nicholasbyram296]

Well, one guy gripped 300 off him, soo...

[@ImehSmith]

@@nicholasbyram296 🤣🤣👍👍

[@ImehSmith]

I find it odd and crazy that no one realized he's trolling and being sarcastic and Joking, even though there's so many lunatics out there so you never really know

[@SkylerGW]

This content is so good 😂. Makes me wonder if you'll get too recognizable at some point and not be able to troll as hard

[@sagittarius5466]

Wow, what a kind person at the end. He’s a good man

[@BiigiieCheeese]

Hollyweird be like we cant find any good material to make movies anymore, whelp time to race and sexuality swap classic characters for a quick buck. *Thousands of unread scripts sitting in a spam folder*

[@MrKgBizzle]

I can totally see Harrison Ford but in a coked out Canadian version. Very stunning resemblance 😂 Love your work Ryan keep knockin heads.

[@avi3020]

This man is a legend 👏🏻

[@lindamclaughlin1061]

"I think I have enough Ricky Schroeder facts"..."do you have a discount for filmmakers"...so funny, and he keeps a straight face amazing

[@josemaortizyoutube]

🤣🤣🤣 I'll pay a "GO Found Me" campaign to watch this movie. 🤣🤣🤣

[@NotBrianStelter]

This movie needs to be made. One word: Crowdfunding.

[@louiscypher7090]

Finally a video 'longer' than 2 minutes. Bravo.

[@IrishCream386]

Really if you think about it you didn't lose 300 bucks. Those useful Shroeder facts are gonna make up for it in spades!

[@IamCatharinemme]

Specifically meeting Jim from the office is the laser focus targeting u need to make it

[@SeraphsWitness]

This is exactly what "lesser" folks in Hollywood are like: annoyingly obsessed with celebrity. Some of my family live in Burbank and they never stop gushing over seeing random celebrities for a split second on a Tuesday afternoon. It's gross and tiresome.

[@palaceofwisdom9448]

One time I was on the bus to work in downtown Chicago and saw Kelsey Grammer walking his dog. If only the window had been open, I would have yelled "AHHH! SIDESHOW BOB!"

[@SeraphsWitness]

@@palaceofwisdom9448 Yea, it's one thing to freak out when you're in a non-celebrity area and you randomly see someone famous. That's an interesting anecdote. But the people that literally live there just to be close to Hollywood so they can lick their boots daily... it's weird and cult-like.

[@magnushelin007]

And superficial.

[@SeraphsWitness]

@@magnushelin007 Yea, I don't know what they expect; some of the "glory" to brush off on them? They want people to fawn over the fact that they saw a celebrity. It's all very religious. It literally reminds me of Moses encountering God on Mt. Sinai.

[@magnushelin007]

@@SeraphsWitness That whole celebrity adoration is one of my pet peeves. I would rather go to the dentist than meet the Kardashians for example. I would, though, liked to have met someone that had done something important such as Winston Churchill, the Wright brothers etc but not to brag about it but to hopefully learn something from them.

[@Calcearius]

"Don't regret it" "I probably shouldn't have put my dog down though" lmfao xD

[@JohnnyLodge2]

Homie at the end is how all bros should be. Was positive, supportive, but kept it real with Ryan.

[@jakeflemming]

I love that he gave 300 dollars to someone for the bit

[@bastardluigi]

"Roll Call" is good, but I'm partial to "Torsocalypse Now"

[@_treva2292]

Hahahahahahaha

[@Karll541]

How ‘bout “Within Arms Length”?

[@gorz859]

I wanted to sort of like call my mom and be like "fuck you I sold roll call" was hysterical dude hahahah

[@IchNachtLiebe]

7:47 This typo works: "Your a talented writer" instead of "you're a talented writer". If this was intentional I'll be very happy. I also hope Ryan was the one who did the subs.

[@jdub9920]

This was fantastic!

[@meetat6579]

aww that friendly chat though!lol

[@catfishrob1]

Bro, some of your sketches are a bit hit or miss (no offense, they can't all be bangers), but IMO this was one of your best yet. It had a storyline and everything lol. You should do more "long" form sketch content! And I like that you kind of blended your "man on the street" content (which I find hilarious) with a sketch. Very creative. And kind of meta. I like it. You just kind of improvised a backstory with the guy at the end. Perfect!

[@franklinturtle9849]

That guy that tried to setup the Batman meeting seems like a human trafficker... Something sketchy there for sure.

[@nyanko2077]

I am already laughing just by watching the thumbnail.

[@belisarius1]

Vice article title: "The man standing up against disability-phobia and mysogyny in Hollywood."

[@nickynoodles88]

9:13 - 9:18 - oh my god, the tears of laughter that was pouring out my eye sockets at this part 😂

[@RandomGuy010]

Should've taken that script to Akihabara, not Hollywood!

[@boulevard14]

"It's a disgusting business"

[@wolf-ranger]

This was so inspirational. I'm moving to Hollywood to become a con artist!

[@ImehSmith]

🤣🤣👍👍

[@Aaron-zh4kj]

That guy at the end was so wholesome and real. "But just for a few days." lol

[@karla31092]

What a nice guy at the end, took the time to converse.

[@tmwproductions3685]

Don't give up on roll call. Make some poster art and a synopsis. Get someone to animate or film a sizzle reel. Woman with no arms or legs who roll down hills deserve a voice in Hollywood.

[@charlieruisseau2476]

The way you say "what you don't know is that I spent the last twelve months to write the most diverse script of all time" made me laugh so much it hurt! Stop! Don't stop!!! Never listen to me!

[@TheHumanSpirit]

Dying in laughter over here. That pep talk guy. What a sweetheart!

[@henrikkiss3805]

5:33 I shit myselfe 🤣🤣🤣 but I bought him a magnet....

[@dom7634]

I can't believe that guy took off, he seemed so trustworthy

[@PhoenixRiseinFlame]

Ryan has my vote for the greatest living Canadian

[@zipanzee]

The Hollywood agent was so professional!

[@eromalandersson5716]

"...I put my dog down...just didn't want to come with any baggage" was the best line of the whole script.

[@Scar-jg4bn]

0:46 I spit my drink when he said she rolls around everywhere. 💀

[@Vigilant69]

If you made that female general a Black Jewish Holocaust survivor, you'd have landed a Netflix deal in no time.

[@marcouellette4671]

His ability to troll and handle created the uncomfortable situation s astounding!