The surprising truth: Why being yourself is holding you back

[@painter662]

I’m 62 years old. At 60 my wife of 30 years died. These last 2 years have been unbelievably challenging. I had no rudder. I had no clue who I was any more. Just be yourself? I kept asking who on earth is that. Over these two years my worlds situation forced me into an extremely insular situation. I’m plunging hard to my dream of travel… and I will get there, but for the moment I am locked into my place, forced to be introspective, and slowly figuring out answers to that question, who am I. I’m not completely there yet, but I am getting more comfortable in my skin. Strengths and short comings accepted. It’s only at that point I think, you can start rebuilding your self in the image you hope to achieve.

[@ljkoh20052000able]

Being authentic is a call to people hating you .However, it keeps you real .

[@JeanVoronkova]

It’s important to be our true selves, and also important to not just be ourselves but keep becoming better 😍🙏

[@melarrow6202]

Personal development always comes from being somewhere outside your comfort zone.

[@finestgrowth]

I wholeheartedly agree.

[@MaximumDull]

While the self is not a static concept, I think the fundamental essence of who we are doesn't change over a lifetime, even if our priorities shift with new information. Like I have always been a writer/artist who does not have a sweet tooth, preferring salty and sour tastes. I dress pretty much the same as I did growing up and have had an interest in philosophical ideas for as long as I can remember, even if I didn't know as much. I have basically the same sense of humour, just more detailed. I used to be more comfortable being myself, but lost that due to societal pressures to conform, and I am only just finding myself again, even if it means people like me less. Maybe it's okay to not be for everyone because we're not one size fits all, and what appeals to the mass market is not particularly interesting.

[@JeanVoronkova]

so true, and i do think you're very lucky you sound like you've had a good sense of who are you inside since young!

[@MaximumDull]

@JeanVoronkova Thank you for your response. I am enjoying your videos, having only discovered your channel recently. Maybe it helps being able to look back and see the continuity, but perhaps it was also the advantage of being a storyteller. My kindergarten teacher told my parents I would be a writer because of this natural tendency. I have read about how this relates to instincts driving a sense of self.

[@valentinadg3805]

I love embracing change and growth, most things in life are skills that can be learned. 100% with your view

[@willfinn8363]

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are - Carl Jung

[@meenabhatt6401]

💯 I agree! 🌹❤🌷

[@anthonyroman3031]

Most soothing voice I've ever heard. Love your lifestyle. A dream of mine to make a reality.

[@K-dramaSpecialClips]

Always grow beyond the limit 😊

[@SuiGenerisAbbie]

Being Myself is just FINE with me, Jean.

[@masterpropper2485]

Said everyone who just read the title and didn't watch the video...

[@cherb3145]

@@masterpropper2485 If that's true I think that this is called clickbait.

[@Orius30]

Word. 💯

[@thomasq9181]

Bravo! That is super key!

[@marianelaballerina2295]

Thank you, Jean. I always had/have a self, who I am right now + basic characteristics I've always had and value. But I also developed a notion of 'ideal self' -who and how I want to be- and I am usually working on developing into that ideal self. Self alone is not enough. It's the marriage between self and ideal self. Love your videos!

[@JeanVoronkova]

thank you for getting my point in the video so clearly! Love this note, and the idea of that marriage between self and ideal self, thank you for sharing! 🌻😍

[@floydschrock2761]

Amen, Amen, I love your videos. Just being ourselves with a very disciplined mindset, Amen, Amen.

[@JeanVoronkova]

Thank you Floyd I'm glad the video resonated 🌻

[@Swiss_Army_Knife1780]

Your voice helps me fall asleep. Thank you. Your advice is sage and appreciated but not as much as the comforting sleep to follow.

[@JeanVoronkova]

🤭 thanks I’m glad it helps your sleep. I also have insomnia issues leftover from my former corporate life. Sleep is so important 👍🏼

[@abraml]

You're a full package of motivation. I am really thrilled to watch all your videos. Each video is unique and special and i have so much to learn from you .... Thank you

[@stevedobson7837]

Your observation on life is very perceptive, life is constant revolution and evolution sometimes you notice the change sometimes you don't.

[@JeanVoronkova]

So true

[@viktoriiadavydova6807]

💯 agree! Revealing who we are is a life long journey. Thank you dear😌🤗

[@JeanVoronkova]

Thanks again for that amazing watercolor portrait I love it so much!

[@viktoriiadavydova6807]

@@JeanVoronkova thaaank you!! I'm so happy you like it!🥰🤗

[@edfast5893]

Another great video filled with so much wisdom. My wife and I always look forward to your stories and thoughts. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. My wife said every time she listens to you she wants to retire . Keep up the great work you are making a difference in many peoples lives. E&J

[@JeanVoronkova]

Dear Ed & J, thank you so much for this kind note. I'm very glad our videos bring some value and are helpful to you. Early retirement is great if financially it won't be(come) a problem I highly recommend it! I think it gives us space to become more fully developed and well rounded human beings we were meant to be before the industrial revolution hit....

[@eunbyeolgo2341]

I feel like you understand me well. I know very well that I’m an introvert. I get too tired from social interactions. But I couldn’t let that fact get in the way if my work. I need to get out of my comfort zone so that I can do my responsibilities well. Pushing myself beyond my comfort zone has taken me places. If I only stayed “myself,” I wouldn’t dream of living and working in the city

[@hannabandoja7311]

Hi Jean- thanks for sharing your warm thoughts as always.

[@JeanVoronkova]

Thanks for listening Hanna 😍🙏🪴

[@hannapineda6292]

Welcome Jean❤

[@Red_Dead_Redemption2_Funny]

I love your videos. I always watch them during work and often catch myself thinking, 'What am I still doing here?' You are so real and inspirational, and I hope to take the leap and fulfill my dreams soon . All I want is simple and peacefull life. But I will never find this peace here in Germany

[@JeanVoronkova]

Thank you for this kind note. I think little corners surrounded by nature can be found anywhere in the world, but they do require effort to ferret out and then a lot of effort to build a simple but cosy life up and around. The life you see in our videos is the culmination of a decade of striving towards this specific vision and everyday now I'm still working to make our home and family life cosy - simple but great :) U will get there too I'm sure, just give it a bit of time.

[@stanleyferdinand5979]

You're voice would be perfect for a guided meditation.Very soothing.

[@JeanVoronkova]

thanks 🌻

[@carolajuntgen6288]

Thank you 🙏

[@bluberx]

we can both be ourselves AND have room to grow and improve ourselves

[@JeanVoronkova]

so true

[@floydschrock2761]

Amen, Amen. Thanks for sharing. I love this video and the truth about life, Amen, Amen.

[@JeanVoronkova]

thank you Floyd I'm glad it resonated 🌻😊

[@Divineceylo]

I am myself absolutely 💯, I am not who I am not

[@JeanVoronkova]

you are not a static being. The point the video is trying to make is that we shouldn't just "be ourselves" we should be better.

[@johnleven8907]

We are our own enemy. And that's life's most beautiful adventure. Nothing other than our proper self stops us to achieve our goals. But there's also a nice reason why. Before life allows us to get as far as we can, it asks us to learn and improve ourselves. A simple and dumby example. You're not right or left handed at all. We we're lied too, to see how much we manage to stop ourselves. Just train your whole body and you'll see. Enjoy the beauty that exists, and understand that all the negativity is only trying to actually teach you something.

[@JeanVoronkova]

love this, thank you so much for sharing. So much of the time we are the ones holding ourselves back from so much we can actually achieve

[@5canwalk]

An important video in this day and age of authenticity. Though farting in front of one's loved ones is a sign of comfort and intimacy!!😂

[@JeanVoronkova]

thanks. I thought it was a bit of a complex video to follow so i'm glad it made sense to you! but yes I agree 😂 to be able to fart in front of your loved one is a good sign in a stable and steadily deepening relationship! Although again I reiterate.... not on the first date! Lol

[@sadaafatima]

As the spiritual teachers say, let go of the self and just be!

[@ljkoh20052000able]

Being your Self. This starts in everyones childhood. An infant is himself when he longs for his parents caress, care, attunement to his physical as well as emotional needs. This longing is the natural instinct of what is " Attachment". We need that attachment . To our caregivers , because without them, we would not survive. As we develope. We find out that when were hungry not only for food but for emotional attention. Not all the time we are given such attunement to our needs. Thus, we stop our natural tendencies to cry when in pain, both body or mind pain. What we really stop or suppress doing is what our true Self is. This is our " Authenticity", our authentic self. Hence, this stoppage of emotions get ingrained in our subconscious minds and manifest later in adult life as behaviours that unconsciously act out. With this we have to selves. The Attached self influenced by upbringing, society, environment the world and our true Self that of authenticity. One that lives through gut-feelings, pure and unadulterated. By being your Self, you may lose connections from attached family, friends. Here, we have pain on losing relationships. But by losing your authenticity, you lose your soul.

[@wpak4482]

This is spot on. Thank you.

[@JeanVoronkova]

😍😊🌻

[@en-tout-cas]

Hi, appreciate your video. I'm travellling Bali now, so it makes me more inspired:)

[@JeanVoronkova]

Thank you for your little note. Bali is an endless source of happiness and inspiration for us. I hope you find the same 🙏😍

[@nice.t]

Love the message of this video! ❤

[@JeanVoronkova]

Thank you 🌻😊

[@lostininnerspace8687]

I loved the Rumi quote 💚

[@kokhowlong]

Yes

[@JeanVoronkova]

Thank u 🙏

[@mindbodyhome102]

"Just being yourself" as an excuse not to stretch and grow is definitely not a healthy approach. Your story of starting this channel even though your tech skills weren't super fine tuned really helps me realize that everything doesn't have to be perfect to start living your dream life.

[@JeanVoronkova]

thanks for this note Margaret. If we wait for things to be perfect to get started we never will 🌻😊

[@MithuFoodJunction]

Nice vlog .. thanks for sharing 👍

[@JeanVoronkova]

Thank you too for dropping by 😍🪴🤗

[@twinklevangie7604]

Sometimes I want to be myself. But facing the harsh world and nastiness, I don't become myself.

[@JeanVoronkova]

sometimes we create a persona to face the world as a shield for ourselves, yes. I have done the same for myself. I think that's ok if its a coping mechanism. But when finding authentic connections to others we must face others as our true selves when we are ready, otherwise it's hard to find real friends and lovers. And the point of the video is that we shd always strive to be better, and not hide behind the shield of "who we are" at one point in time to stagnate as a person.

[@DhanushkaVibeVentures]

When people say be your self, they simply mean be the one you were told. Because we can't look in to a different way of life other than what we were told is the correct way of life which is a huge waste for self but a gain for systematical genre. Trying to live, instead of breathing is a huge challenge because the judgement and isolation is unbearable. I'm being pushed, forced to breathe because my every effort is living. Funder mentally we have made a huge mistake at some point and we are still suffering that. Humans are batteries for a generator. Nothing else in this era.

[@JeanVoronkova]

I definitely agree with quite a few of your sentiments in this note. It's sad how most of us are born into and live in this system that's mostly geared towards just churning out & breeding static urban affordable labor..

[@davidchan9187]

@@JeanVoronkovait’s sad that our purpose in life is to just get a job work climb the corp ladder make money produce children - that is what the world society sees success as ! Early retirees are lazy bums who can’t get jobs failures and ostracised by others 😅

[@desmonddass764]

Thanks for your inspiring share , Jean . From finding oneself from teen age and being more finding and being self assured at 60's years young 😊 My thoughts on painting n drawing . Perhaps when at semi retirement ...I can do that. Like your paintings....nice 👍👍🌺🌺

[@JeanVoronkova]

Thank you for your time to watch and for sharing your thoughts Des 😊 we never quite stop finding (creating) ourselves truly I think, till the day of our end 🤭 I am still a sucks hobby artist, but the process is one of my meditations and I’m always extremely happy after the process of creation 😍 if u try it out i hope you will find the same joy therein

[@desmonddass764]

@@JeanVoronkova welcome Jean for your nice words 🌺 True , we never stop finding ourselves. On going process for life 🧬 Hey your paintings are good. I notice 👍👍😊😍 Cheers !! 🌴🌴

[@sonminorimitsuu2838]

I’m loving your videos

[@JeanVoronkova]

🌻 thank you so much

[@sonminorimitsuu2838]

@@JeanVoronkova one more thing or could I say a few questions. This year I am taking another 6 months travelling and want to do something I have never done which is surfing (inspired from your channel) :) I want to rent and learn to surf for 3 months. Would it be better in Vietnam, Danang or Canggu Bali? Your pro's and cons would be gratefully received.

[@melmelexplores]

@@sonminorimitsuu2838Bali is great but it has huge crowds! You can go over to Lombok via fast boat to surf at Kuta, Lombok too with fewer crowds!

[@JeanVoronkova]

@@sonminorimitsuu2838 hullo u’re lucky I saw this cos I get so many comments I can’t go thru them all usually. Bali wins hands down for surfing! Vietnam is an exciting place to travel in Asia n its v special in its own right but it cannot compare at all in terms of waves n surfing Bali is THE Asia premier destination for surfing - amazing waves, unparalleled waters. Just u need to do research for surfing in Canggu it’s only in high season which is from May June to Nov/Dec max n then it switches to east coast n u’ll hv to go Nusa Dua or u’ll be swimming in trash that floats in due to change of wave direction

[@sashafroyland]

Be yourself and read this book I just finished which really helped put money in perspective: ‘The Psychology of Money”. I’m buying copies for all family and friends.

[@Snowball0300]

I wanna make money .. books don't help .. do they

[@sashafroyland]

@@Snowball0300 I guarantee if you read the book I mentioned you will save money and make money and retire rich if you’ve got 20 to 30 years before you retire. If you don’t have much time till you retire, then you need to lower the amount of money you need to return or read a lot of books and be prepared for some big ups and downs.

[@donnahogan2999]

❤

[@bhargavtank3784]

No new videos ! Why ? We r missing you and your valuable videos !

[@drnicolebeaumont7884]

Super🎉

[@josepwillis687]

Good job.

[@FR3EDEN]

How to find what you don’t know what IT is? Let yourself be found by 🌎🌕🌞🌌IT💚🦋

[@JeanVoronkova]

The age old question of who am I ahh 🤭👍🏼

[@FR3EDEN]

@@JeanVoronkova I AM WHOMAN👁😉🌎🌕🌞☯️🌌🪞😁 Thanks for 🐝ing🙏💚 LOVE-THE WAY YOU ARE

[@jdavideast]

Fantasy world

[@meimeix1202]

The truth is there ARE different versions of you and they are all you- there's a multi universe within you.

[@JeanVoronkova]

there's def truth in that as well. Perhaps the potential to be so many different versions of us at least.

[@elsienorback7689]

Different times in your life will determine what you will experience, what your family experiences were/are, how you feel about yourself, how much loss you have gone through meaning death in family/friends, pain you have experienced such as having a crisis like having cancer or watching a family member have a slow death with cancer or something similar. Your comments here are basically talking about a simple life. Life is not that simple for a lot of ppl in the world. Sometimes life will throw a curve ball at you and real struggles shape your emotional being and outlook in life. When life is simple you can always find it easy to make life choices. Life is not always simple and you find a deeper meaning of who you are when you push aside things like: more than enough money, flashy jewelry, a new car or motorcycle, a big house or a roof over your head, beautiful clothes. None of that matters! What does matter is how you treat ppl, what you think deep down in your thoughts: are they petty, harmful, angry or are they uplifting thoughts full of gratitude, love and are you grateful? Who are you? Are you superficial, someone who sways with the strongest winds or are you someone who knows what your core values are and stands by your high morals? Those are things that shape a person, not living a simple life without having to face life changing decisions. Those who have not experienced life changing decisions will never know what it’s like to dig really deep and face your inner self. At one point in life it will happen and you/they will know what I’m talking about. If it hasn’t happened yet, it will with time! Until then, enjoy the simplicity of life.

[@JeanVoronkova]

Thanks for this note Elsie, and I agree. We often walk through life, especially in our earlier years, thinking we know who we are deep down inside, until we are severely challenged by unexpected turns in life and like you said, we have to dig deep and make hard choices. That's when through the choices we make, we create more of the person we truly are inside. The forging of the metal so to speak. In my 8 years in vietnam in my early 30s those were the most morally challenging years i faced in my life and also the years that cemented my understanding of my own values within me. It wasn't easy, and often unhappy or difficult times, but it is in those moments that we the person are born, bit by bit. Lucky are the ones who live simply and peacefully each day. I never take those for granted.

[@zeitgeist01]

🧿

[@ingang8817]

"Being yourself" without a mindful mindset is not good at all XD

[@JeanVoronkova]

that's a nice way of summarizing my point, thanks! :)

[@K-dramaSpecialClips]

Nice

[@jasonjason1196]

🙏🙏❤️❤️🙏🙏💯💯🙏🙏🎈🎈🙏🙏

[@davidchan9187]

No videos for 4 weeks have they gone back to work?

[@1love847]

Being authentic means not conforming. People like me at first and then when i dont conform not so much. 😂 oh well.

[@JeanVoronkova]

oh well is a great response to social pressure against following our inner compass! well done.

[@K-dramaSpecialClips]

😊 true

[@JerryAkins-x8p]

Being natural and working in a reasonable, social manner to be a productive member= being ourselves. Being natural versus being superficial as fake snow from a snow machine.No offense, your life is simpler than most people and I disagree with you somewhat in this video.

[@JeanVoronkova]

hmm.. i'm not trackin your thought process in this comment. Care to explain? My point in the video is specifically that in the context of making real connections with others we must definitely be authentic and be ourselves. Outside of that context we cannot use "being ourselves" as a shield to hide behind and avoid striving for growth and becoming better each day.

[@JerryAkins-x8p]

@@JeanVoronkova everyone has to make some social adjustments for their environment and find a level of acceptance. As you travel from different countries or ethnic people, once must adjust their behavior accordingly as not to stand out too much in a negative way. Here is a perfect example, the typical American cannot go to Thailand or the Philippines and be an arrogant self consumed westerner. You will probably get beat down by the local people and even the law enforcement officers will side with the local people. The settings are very different and foreigners do not change these peoples' culture very much or at all.

[@JoeyBlogs007]

Perhaps you should think about having a family.

[@cbligerman]

❤