The Tension Between Success And Happiness - Paul Millerd

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello cult members. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:40 Happiness vs Success 09:17 Happiness via Financial Independence 13:47 The Anti-work Movement 28:43 Exposing the Pathless Path 34:52 The Limits of Ambition 41:55 Meaningful Work 51:55 Growth in Incremental Changes 1:00:00 The Price of Success 1:08:46 Where to Find Paul

[@Clover_9777]

The fact that Chris has been doing all the work by himself. I just wanna say thank you for all these amazing discussions. When your channel hits 1 million, never change the essence of this channel. Keep up! 💪

[@PaulMillerd]

Kickass convo Chris. Most curious podcaster on the planet. Thanks for having me. 🤟

[@mr.spencer5270]

Bought the book!

[@TomDulson]

Episodes like this remind me why the show is called modern WISDOM, hats off to the both of you

[@PaulMillerd]

thanks thomas

[@IevaKambarovaite]

I've been working on this idea with my therapist that *I'm a human being, not a human doing.* It's tough because I value my worth on how productive I am, what I'm producing and all that. Loved this conversation

[@TheKarlslok]

Only men are human doings. But, in a society where women seem to want to be men I guess some women get confused.

[@IevaKambarovaite]

@@TheKarlslok not everything has to be dividing men and women 😊 but I think men should allow themselves to be more human beings as well

[@RobbertLobik]

Good one, thanks!

[@rnt45t1]

28:45 "Exploring the Pathless Path" is something I have been struggling with BIG TIME recently. 33 and not hitting really ANY of those "positive milestones" has really wreaked havoc on my psyche, especially since I got sober. So refreshing to reframe the conversation this way. Thank you Paul!

[@PaulMillerd]

glad to hear it!

[@dalorasinum386]

This is why I love the 4-4 day shift pattern I’m on. I get enough time off work to do stuff I care about, and have a proper work/life balance.

[@dalorasinum386]

@@TuscanBrick no, four days of 11 hours on and then four days off.

[@dalorasinum386]

@@TuscanBrick you don’t get a proper evening now. But the job itself is rather simple and relaxing so I don’t notice it much. I was worried about 11 hours as well when started but once I got going it was great.

[@funygameur]

​@@dalorasinum386What line of work are you working on?

[@omerfarukylmaz3793]

Thank you for your mind twisting questions to him and his hard work to answer them and put them in a logically strong ground, all of your efforts to come up with novel ideas.

[@Astillion]

Great talk. I'm part of the FIRE-movement and quit my job almost a year ago. It's one of the best decisions of my life. I didn't hate my job, it was quite fine actually. But quitting has allowed me to explore other aspects of life much more than before, because I have so much more time now. I've been reading more, writing more, exercising more, learning more, grown more, dated more. I'm certainly happier than before. Having all this extra time has allowed me to be more open to more aspects of life. There are some downsides to the FIRE-path. While I was on it, I was very focused. I had a set number of goals, and other aspects of life got pushed to the side. But I don't regret it. I was able to retire at 37, and now my life has so much more potential. I feel that I can pursuit the things that really matter in life more freely now that I no longer need to work.

[@AntOn-nf9fi]

Problem with success. People get stuck in work mode, living this life 24/7. Happiness is knowing when to be yourself 24/7, but in a responsible manner.

[@WesXpress]

This is a topic I have become very interested in and asking questions and reflecting on my self what this whole happiness/success thing is. I love the things you talked about in the Happiness Success Time line. Loving the content Chris! It helps me and I learn a lot.

[@arthurzetes]

This shows how unique of a position I am in. If I had a million dollars I still wouldnt change my life. i may take more breaks, but i have a lot of things I want to do and need to be on top of my sleep schedule and have discipline to do everything.

[@scholaroftheworldalternatehist]

That's what everyone says. But having lots of money does change people. Some can't handle it and waste it all.

[@callumraza5046]

I lived in a tent in Europe for two years. No money, eating out of supermarket bins I've named that period of my life as my enlightenment era. No audience, just me and the world. The cave is reality, the warm bed and job are the fantasy we live in

[@steviejay9245]

"People don't want to sit on a beach all day." It's always eye-opening to listen to people that can't conceive of people not like themselves, in this case the highly motivated. Makes it a lot easier to understand why social constructivism usually falls flat on its face.

[@TheKarlslok]

Humans have not evolved to enjoy to sit on beaches, for more then a short period. Have you tried it yourself for months or years? I doubt it. You enjoy the dream of doing it. I have spoken to people who have grown up on "paradise islands" with warm weather and infinite beaches. They pick fruit from the trees, and eat fish from the sea and play gitarr and sing on the beaches, life is good and easy. Then they grow up, and our biology makes it unsatisying to remain a child for ever. Hey, even Chris W might even grow up eventually!!

[@steviejay9245]

@@TheKarlslok You might want to get an answer to your question before you just assume it, my friend. Going on year 20 of retirement. Age: 44. But that's largely irrelevant. Anyone that's ever lived in a not-so-prosperous place knows very well there's tons of people that are perfectly happy never working a day in their life. And not just a small %, either. But people like Chris and his guest will never meet them, because loafers can't afford Austin rents. They live in the hoods and countrysides.

[@steviejay9245]

@@TuscanBrick You've clearly had a good upbringing, and I sincerely hope nothing happens to you that shatters this outlook. But this is exactly what I'm talking about. Selection bias. Just cause that's how people think where you grew up doesn't mean that's what it's like in Calcutta, the Ozarks, or inner city Baltimore. Worrying about "meaning" is almost the definition of a 1st world problem. Not everyone has it. For most people, survival and lack of suffering is more than enough.

[@steviejay9245]

@@TuscanBrick I appreciate your response. I'll look into that book. The phenomenon I'm specifically referring to is known in psychology as "conscientiousness". Work ethic, sense of duty, etc. Or more specifically, lack of it. A large % of the population doesn't have much of it, and it can be empirically measured. But because our society relies on it so highly, there is usually a big physical disconnect between those that have tons to spare (perhaps too much too be happy, as is suggested in the podcast), and those with very little. Physical in terms of rents and real estate value. The two extremes rarely come into contact with each other, so without that experience, they can come to some skewed conclusions about humanity as a whole. (lived in the developing world for 15 years... what these guys think is a human universal is actually only cultural) Have a great day, brother.

[@adoxographer]

Fantastic interview that articulates the thought process I have been converging on for the past few years. Thanks for doing this!

[@PaulMillerd]

thanks!

[@DannyMiranda]

ohhhh baby this is gonna be a good one

[@PaulMillerd]

heyoo

[@TheSwordandPearl]

This was SO GOOD

[@PaulMillerd]

Thanks!

[@mattanderson6672]

What a wonderful interview!

[@metodifitness8824]

The podcast I needed

[@veesvoyages]

Loved this! Great episode and guest!

[@osmaxvip]

So thoughtful and relevant. Thank you.

[@lorenzoe.leonard4160]

17:12 “We’re always in relation to our economic system.”

[@BraedenTheG]

“There is nothing impossible to they who will try.” - Alexander the Great

[@kenrehill8775]

“So or do not do, there is no try” Yoda.

[@khalidsafir]

14:29 Asking people with a slave mentality if they love their job is the wrong question. They may hate their job and still say they like it to avoid making changes in their lives. Most people I know are like that. My brother always complains how he struggles to focus on his work now that he works from home and nobody is looking over his shoulder. He is also constantly dreads meetings with his manager. Yet he will never admit that he hates his job.

[@louiselanthier5135]

That is exactly how I was raised!

[@danepaulstewart8464]

Yes, that WAS INDEED the perfect note to end on. 👍👍

[@rayuk3939]

“Taking a pause in the existing in the wold like a worker”.

[@Belfreyite]

For me, Success has nothing to do with wealth, status or phoney virtue. I take life day by day and enjoy small accomplishments. My health and spiritual equilibrium are far more important than popularity or vanity. I really don't care for social media, being liked, being seen or trying to influence anybody. Judgemental people just go right over my shoulders onto the scrap heap. "Self-care is how you take your power back" Lala Delia.

[@rossjuniper3610]

Without wanting to be rude. I dont feel that guest explained his point. It seemed more like a justification of his life choices. The interviewer had a far more rational and eloquent way of expressing this ironic paradox that we has humans seem to stumble through, essenetially always searching for something to make us happy, but the end result never satisfys us.

[@Thomasfboyle]

16:00 Modern man rediscovers 6 millennia old Wisdom of resting once a week. It makes me chuckle when people think they found something novel for humanity when there is nothing new under the sun.

[@petertownsend181]

Success may not bring happiness, but I guarantee failure will bring deep unhappiness.

[@DoritosBurger]

Failure can only bring unhappiness if you didn't try. There is no shame in aiming for something and not reaching it.

[@jamesmilligan9496]

Failure is more important than success, in my opinion

[@Fanaro]

2:40 I think you need to have Alfie Kohn on the podcast at some point.

[@funygameur]

09:17 - **Fire Mouvement** *"Escaping work is not the best motivation in life.* (11:30) 15:45 to - **Needing a Break from the ''Worker Mode'' of life.** *''People wanting to be F.I.R.E generally just need a break from the worker mode ; ability to identify themselves to something else than the work they're doing, especially if they don't thrive doing it."* 1. I'm not ''a worker'' I'm also ...X. 2. Reconnecting with what we love as a child ; or just what would do with our free time. 21:50 to **The two modes of Occidental culture : Working OR Lazyness ; forgetting about *Leasure*.** 51:00 - **Thoughts on Podcasting** *Being able to see the trajectory of a podcaster from lame to awesome* 01:00 - **The Price of Success** *Why you need to know yourself to get to understand ''what you want to want'' and not wanting others say you should want (money, fame, your own company).*

[@Fanaro]

26:14 Success is a product of yourself and the times/environment we live in. Past wealthy capitalists would not necessarily be successful in other eras. And to say that capitalism is not a thing... It's how we share the current finite resources, how is that not relevant? It's **the** relevant thing.

[@giovannimadrigal3199]

Can we get Oliver Sykes on the podcast sometime in the future? 🙂

[@BoBo-pe3kv]

Happiness can depend on what your EXPECTATIONS of success are!)

[@uzah88]

If you have a wife and kids that becomes a bigger part of your purpose (usually). I know this was a work centric podcast episode but I couldn't get past this issue. If I'm financially independent then I will be happier regardless if I spend all my time with my family or some of that time volunteering/working in something meaningful. Still a good episode but it just seems to make work a bigger part of your meaning even if you're doing meaningful work.

[@themanwiththeplan676]

"Blonde eyes," Chris? :)

[@Fanaro]

How is this discussion happening without mentioning the fact that there's enough money and resources in the world for people to only work if they want to. Without mentioning this, everything else in this discussion is just the definition of procrastination.

[@Thomasfboyle]

10:30 🔥

[@steveconn]

Yeah busywork is awful.

[@michaelrowe8115]

Well it'd be pointless to work this hard to get stuck.

[@Thomasfboyle]

If you don’t watch this at at least 2x speed then you’re a simp

[@derekww4844]

Happiness is an attitude it has nothing to do with how wealthy you are or how much people you know extra. The feeling of happiness a is also all about ones self when your subconscious and conscious mind being in cohearance with each other. If I was to tell the majority of people that they look great the majority of them would have a positive feeling like happiness and that's because subconscious and conscious mind being in cohearance with each other. When one has a negative feeling due to what one says to them it's because subconscious one knows that there is truth to what's been said and conscious one doesn't want to believe the truth that subconsciously one know theirs is.

[@TheRulerRoderickSutton]

To be content with my life, YES, I need to be successful in my endeavors. For my life to have any sense of meaning, value, purpose, worth - to have something to show for in the end when it is all said and done - YES, I must be successful in my life. But to be happy? That is just happenstance. It comes and goes.

[@catherine8789]

Gosh …. your such a cutie 🥰

[@mejdlocraftci]

Damn why so few views

[@lloovvaallee]

"Money is freedom"? It's also power. Are money and power the same thing? I don't know, let's ask Mr. Putin.

[@0rnery0verwatch]

or Elon lol

[@abigailowens4290]

this is what anti capitalists have beentalking about forever.

[@DoritosBurger]

Capitalists are not very intelligent people because their entire identity revolves around the products they buy and things they own. It's a path that will always lead to depression and ruin because longterm satisfaction cannot be attained through materialism.