The Therapist That Will Change Your Future: STAND UP For Yourself When Triggered! | Anita Phillips

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It’s Lisa Bilyeu here with a truly BEAUTIFUL episode of Women of Impact for you that will actually change the way you perceive & judge your emotions and how you “deal” with them.
Today I’m joined by the unbelievable Dr. Anita Phillips, a trauma therapist and mental health expert that is SO DAMN GOOD at empowering women like you to actually find safety in your body and your emotions again.
Dr. Anita gets SOOO real and honest with her incredible insights into WHY we deny our emotions so much and how this has a knock on effect to our confidence.
The reality is, your emotions are not your enemy - they are actually bodily experiences that INFORM your thinking (not the other way around)!!
We also dive into:
- How to turn your pain into power (especially after a heartbreak, or when you feel lost or been betrayed!)
- How your emotions are like hunger pains & what happens when you ignore them
- Why we negotiate pain & how that, PLUS the fear of the future, holds us back
- The POWER that comes from sitting with your “WHAT IFs” instead of ignoring them
- Why you MUST experience the pain or it will never leave you (and will actually multiply!)
- How confidence is faithfulness to yourself
- Why we need love, hope and faith or we will experience a lot of sadness, anger and fear
- Why you should NEVER judge yourself when you have emotional needs & what to do instead
- How you must feel your feelings if you want to let them go
- How to stop the seeds of bad thoughts from growing and spreading in your mind
- The dangers of spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity
- Why satisfaction is not a destination
- How to respond to your shame so you can actually start to love yourself BETTER
Dr. Anita has SOOO many amazing experiences and insights to share, so you can stop living in your fears and start to be more powerful and confident in your life.
And be sure to get a copy of her book, “The Garden Within” here: www.anitaphillips.com/book
Chapter Markers:
📦 [0:00] How to Move Out of Toxic Relationships
🤝 [26:13] Fidelity to Yourself
🤬 [34:08] Anger & Self-Care
👯‍♀️ [40:57] Emotional Intimacy & Friendships
👀 [1:03:57] Recognize Toxic Influences in Real Life
🛟 [1:25:16] Rescue Your Inner Child
❤️ [1:40:46] From Self-Criticism to Radical Self-Acceptance
👉 [1:44:19] Bonus: How To Keep Cool When Being Disrespected
***Bonus Episode: Calm Down & Keep Cool with a PEP TALK***
If you’re being mistreated and need to calm down your emotions, keep cool when being disrespected, and shut down rude people, keep watching for this BONUS PEP TALK from ME, Lisa Bilyeu! You’ll learn how to stop letting guilt keep you from standing up for yourself and stop worrying about letting other people down or offending people so you can be there for YOURSELF!!
DR. ANITA’S BRILLIANT QUOTES:
“Your emotion will not last forever, but it will wait forever. ”
“Pain denied is pain multiplied.”
“We will treat the child in front of us how we treat the child inside of us.”
“You cannot hate yourself better, you can only love yourself better.”
“Shame is not fuel for change.”
“Satisfaction is a lifestyle not a destination.”
"If you're saying, these are my core values, these are my boundaries that I'd like to live with my life, and they're challenging you instead of supporting you to do what you need to do in a healthy way, you may need to walk away from that."
Follow Dr. Anita:
Website: www.anitaphillips.com/
Instagram: / dranitaphillips
KZbin: / @dranitaphillips
Order “The Garden Within”: www.anitaphillips.com/book
Follow Me, Lisa Bilyeu:
Website: www.radicalconfidence.com/
Instagram: / lisabilyeu
Facebook: / lisabilyeu
X: / lisabilyeu
If you want to dive deeper into my content, search through every episode, find specific topics I've covered, and ask me questions. Go to my Dexa page: dexa.ai/lisabilyeu
Themes: Confidence, Relationships, Business, Mental Health, Self-Improvement

[@LisaBilyeu]

WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

[@akushika6143]

Liza please where can I get the book

[@Symphonyofpassion]

“go to that child” .. I am 36 .. And just this year decide to go back to that child and build a relationship with her .. parent her. Befriended her.. She is so deeply hurt and neglected .. it broke my heart 😢

[@Melia_Mer]

Sending her love and light. She will be okay! ❤

[@Symphonyofpassion]

@@Melia_Mer 🪷❣️

[@trishag.971]

Her feelings matter and your current feelings matter. Sending love, light and healing your way. Take things one day at a time

[@Symphonyofpassion]

@@trishag.971 ❤ thank you for the support, much needed and appreciated. 💌

[@mathembibhengu9751]

Love is about safety, we feel safe when we are loved

[@auroraleielsalama261]

"You can not hate yourself into being better." It struck me deep. Thank you Dr Anita, thank you, Lisa. ❤

[@myaalberto2959]

By far the best Therapist on your show!!! Wow Dr.Anita Philip uffff sooo deep soo many gems!! You have to bring her back ommmgg!!!!

[@divinebeginnings3741]

Yes! I second that ~ PLEASE bring her back for deeper dive 🙏🏼♥️

[@dakine4238]

"Your emotions won't last forever but will wait forver."

[@courtneysampson3094]

That’s profound!!

[@Freya-lynn]

This struck me in so many ways..deeep!

[@lindasamuels1764]

Profound….be faithful to myself

[@dakine4238]

This healing journey never seems to end. I'm so tired.

[@masuhasu7990]

I understand ur pain dear...

[@kitihot]

I know how you feel but we feel better and better everytime we heal ❤️

[@MsChapman]

This! Praying for you love. Thank God He never leaves us and He is our strength.

[@dakine4238]

@@MsChapman how do you know? Not being rude but I've prayed to God and I've heard people feel his presence. I haven't yet, have you?

[@MsChapman]

@@dakine4238 Great question. I have. But it took a lot of submitting and surrendering to make that connection. It’s absolutely life changing when you do. He wants that for you too. He is always there for us. We just have to make room to receive and recognize Him.

[@mary-ann2294]

Wow, this is so beneficial for women. I'm only 47 mins through but have to say that I went and had a good cry. I left my marriage of 25yrs because I found out my husband was cheating. This was 2 yrs ago and it's still very painful. I resonate with what Dr Anita said about your heart...mine aches. Thanks again Lisa, your choice of guests is superb and I even learned my husband was a narcissistic through Dr Romani. It's like narcissists are given the same script. It turns out I'm not crazy afterall. Blessings to you all.

[@kgomotsokgb5829]

I also melted my frozen tears. I kept repeating to hear some sections again and again❤😢

[@mary-ann2294]

@kgomotsokgb5829 me too. Today I'm going to follow the script and takes notes and stick them on my walls.

[@trishag.971]

Sending love, light and healing your way. I left a narcissistic husband recently and I currently co-parent two children with him. Remember your power and know that you are worth: protection, love, happiness, peace and abundance

[@divinebeginnings3741]

@@kgomotsokgb5829melted frozen tears. 🤯🤯🤯 I have ALWAYS been one who cries ~ happy sad ~ all of it. Where those emotions are felt and flow/wash out of me. A cleansing. 15 year relationship with someone who expresses himself through hurtful words, blame, & shame. About 10 years ago my tears ran out. Just no longer there. Yesterday I was sitting around & out of nowhere the faucet turned out. My heart felt warm and I just allowed it ~ giving space for years of built up tears to wash out of me. My frozen tears melted 🥹 Thank you for this ♥️

[@divinebeginnings3741]

You are stronger than you remember! She is still in there! You get to have such a full life now! A life that is handpicked by you! Your wants ~ Your desires ~ Your community ~ New Hobbies ~ New adventures ~ And a New Love for yourself that you have yet to ever give yourself ~ a worthiness that is filled with dignity honor and trust ~ a life full of new colors sounds smells feels ~ You were given such a blessing ~ taken out of a relationship that wasn’t caring and kind ~ and Life is calling you ~ that it is time for you to give yourself the love and kindness and care that you have deserved for so long now ~ and any relationship that isn’t giving you the love you deserve ,, it will be shifted out ~ and sooner than later, you will look around , looking at your life; and be fined with tears. Tears of gratitude and joy. Bc every single person in your life you KNOW loves you ever so dearly. They bring life into your life. Allow yourself to take a deep deep breath, telling yourself TODAY IS A NEW DAY! Life loves me! And I no longer give up on myself ♥️ I will love that little girl in me that needs me ♥️ She can trust me ♥️ She will know how important she is ♥️ I am here for myself ♥️ I am faithful to myself ♥️ I got this ♥️ Sending all the love to you! And may each day you are reminded of the New day that is there for You ♥️

[@marvinasimswewinqueendom2543]

I’m usually apprehensive about watching interviews for two hours. But this was such an awesome interview it didn’t feel like two hours. Thank you Lisa for living your faith. Beautifully Empowering!🙏🏽💝

[@Freya-lynn]

Yes this was an awesome interview..Dr Anita spoke to me on so many levels..lots of aha moments

[@thereel35studio97]

50?!!!! No way!!! 🤩🤩 you’re beautiful inside and out!! Thank you for this discussion. It validated my grief.

[@petrajordanmusic]

This woman ROCKS! I did the work on myself some time ago when longing for commitment and I found out that I wasn't committed to my own values and therefore ended up in a messy relationship. Whatever you want from the other, turn it around and see if you're giving it to yourself first!

[@meetandinspire]

"When we lack love, faith, and hope, when we're consumed by sadness, anger, and fear, it becomes a vicious cycle. The emotions feed into each other, amplifying our feelings of despair and hopelessness. And breaking out of that cycle requires courage, resilience, and a willingness to confront our fears and take action, even when it's scary."

[@blessedqueen555]

Absolutely!!!!

[@michelledouglas-thierry3143]

Very true

[@marediththaele1076]

Everytime i ignored and suppressed what im feeling i have always paid a great price hence ive learnt how to listen and trust myself.

[@jadeballer5951]

My favourite moment is "you do not need to feel your emotions, for your emotions to be there... but, you need to feel your emotions to deal with them". Thank you 🤩

[@Luvurselffirst]

Listening to this twice now! I wish more therapist were like Dr.Phillips

[@Ponyup67]

I took baby steps even though it hurt like Hell. I was able the tolerate the guilt and finally I was comfortable leaving what was hurting me.

[@user-zl7ux5sm9y]

4 minutes in and I'm crying. Such a powerful message and just simple truth with an action that we can take immediately no matter the situation we are in. ❤

[@Genxmom]

I really appreciate you both for talking about issues and questions that we have but are afraid to ask. White women are taught that we cannot be angry. We are called crazy and we are living in fear.

[@granitchenoppenheimer2169]

Dr. Anita Phillips A M A Z I N G!!! So much wisdom, so eloquent and inspiring thank you for this interview 🙏🏻🩷

[@dorothywest2053]

Talk about people who have no friends and family support. How to thrive single with no support?

[@rosalyleap]

Connect with God, he’s always with you

[@estherinyang4779]

Sorry about that. Hugs. People are all over the internet. You can connect with similar communities. Cheers.

[@fifitavesela]

She said that you must looking for them

[@henrikelanschuetzer4261]

You come alone, you will go alone + in-between you will share a dream. 💤

[@unitrarenee1406]

Her revelation about “CON-FIDENCE” is most powerful!!! 🔥Dr. Anita’s interview was mind blowing. She is chock full of nuggets for “all things for emotional wellbeing”! Whew wee!!! 🙌 Great choice, Lisa, and you did awesome by allowing the vulnerability in yourself to add to this episode.

[@jlovelynne7096]

This is phenomenal! I appreciate you Lisa for bringing I the angry black woman topic because as a Black woman it’s so real for me! Dr. Anita Phillips is a true deliverer!!! Her words powerful and empowering! I love you both! ❤thank you for all you do.

[@d-etoile5596]

Lisa, you are an absolute amazing interviewer. You have so much passion in anything you talk about🎉 I luv you sister♥️

[@valentinestumpf2588]

Thank you so much 💞 51 yrs old and starting to live life for me for the first time 🌟💞💯

[@servicioslinguisticos5502]

Oh my God... That analogy of going to the grocery store hungry stopped me in my tracks. Yes! Let's pay attention to our feelings and let them show us our needs, and let's cover our needs in a healthy way with healthy people! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@PrimpraphaSawaengkaew]

LADY YOU MAKE ME CRY AND CRY 🙏😭😭😭

[@closingthedivide1187]

Wow, this interview was absolutely AMAZING! I couldn't believe when I got to the end of the video that it was over! To add to that, the recap at the end was just brilliant! Please invite Dr. Anita back for a second interview. Phenomenal job to you both!🎉

[@abundant_one]

One of the best interviews & 50?! Dr Anita looks absolutely amazing! 😍🙌🏽❤️✨

[@winnieowens1688]

I absolutely love Anita. I’ve been watching her for over 6 months now and I always learn nuggets from her spiritually and emotionally. She is so super gifted and anointed and I pray every blessing for her.. she is definitely walking in obedience and in her calling

[@cindylouwhoo91]

She is so gorgeous . What a great free therapy session ❤

[@tahorrawatson4019]

I had to pause this a few times... Therapy for me.. my heart.. I had to process a lot from watching this, so much revelation for my own life, And Food for my soul.. AAmazing.. Thank You God, for this.. I Feel Deliverance. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Naiaworship]

Ooh, Dr. Anita just spoke to what was on my mind. I don't feel like I can heal yet because my heart is not ready. And my heart is not ready because there is still abuse and trauma going on. So maybe I just need to be present in the moment, note when my heart beats fast and shallow, when my stomach is tied up in knots, when I feel anxious and unsafe and they're telling me it's for 'no reason'. And believe it, and keep working towards health and safety. God help me.

[@esthermubiana7651]

By far the best interview of this show. Please bring Dr Anita Philips back soon. I really needed to hear this

[@rosebuffalo7283]

One of the best podcasts I’ve ever seen and I’ve watched thousands! Thank you! ♥️

[@donyamonique]

I love these 2-hour podcasts! It gives me time to digest good information thoroughly! This one was amazing! Anita's energy and communication style were so soothing.

[@ezraesther620]

It's ok to be angry😟.....sigh...I feel so relieved

[@BlackPearlMona369]

Everyone should listen carefully to this episode. We ted to burry our emotions in this era😮 1:34:00 satisfaction & enjoyment in life

[@sabinestephan9079]

OMG Lisa, Dr. Anita is soooo good 😮

[@pyneapple206]

I went to that child the other night by sharing my experiences and been depressed for the last 2days then this video came on this is alignment

[@sharonmorgan4898]

We need to cry to let our heart be light & not carry the burden .It will cause a heart attacks.

[@Jt-Jt]

Wow. I love this talk. Dr. Anita is amazing! ❤ I am a Psychology student and Dr. Anita has inspired me so so much. Thank you 🙏.

[@avaceleste]

I love this woman…! So many powerful, tangible tips and analogies. Thank you Lisa🫶

[@Peendee]

I’m saying this Video to stay with me forever

[@nesha50421]

Dr. Anita is a Christian ✝️✝️✝️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽that’s what makes her standout beautiful even more!!!!! Her light shines brighter ✨✨✨✨✨✨💫💫💫🌟🌟🌟she spoke at my church last year

[@awakeninganna]

She made me cry like 10 times never heard a better interview on your show Lisa she expresses herself so beautifully I feel so validated and empowered thank you both for all you bring to this world ❤❤❤❤

[@yoshungoddess]

This woman embodies what she does. She loves it. I appreciate her every word! Thanks Lisa for bringing her on. 🎉

[@marlyjeudy2235]

FANTASTIC GUEST! Thank you Dr.

[@gyoumans2901]

Wow I am only halfway through and I already love this. I need to buy her book! Thank you for sharing ❤

[@andrewc.2952]

I'm going to have to listen to this again, there's so much here to uncover and process. 🙌

[@shanellbowden4423]

This conversation was helpful and insightful to me! Thank you

[@duretti]

So so good... Kenya represented..we must be in touch with our emotions

[@mandoman7626]

What an amazing podcast. This woman is brilliant.

[@misskalinka]

What an amazing and insightful woman, I loved this interview with Dr Phillips and got so much out of it (and oh my gosh, her skin, she is so beautiful).

[@Dreamygirl826]

Wow!!! She’s amazing ❤️ so much wisdom and knowledge

[@thugpriestess4425]

Thank you! 🥹🙏🏾💓

[@zenanirae]

Excellent thank you!!!

[@palesamotingoe5905]

This lady spelled out exactly what I’m going through. She’s brilliant, she’s the help I needed from someone like an older sister but I wouldn’t know how to articulate the problem

[@petrajordanmusic]

One more comment :) I disagree that emotions come before thoughts. For example when she says "my emotion is telling me I'm not safe", it's actually thinking first "I'm not safe" and my body responds with the emotion of fear. It's just that we might not always be AWARE of the underlying thought but it is there. And it's a logical fallacy to flip it around. For the rest, I'm in a 100% agreement that emotions are physical and that they are our absolutely crucial inner "GPS" signals when navigating this life. One way or another, it's important to listen to our feelings. I have just found that by questioning my thoughts and beliefs, and subsequently changing my perspective, I can change the way I feel about situations, people etc. So in my world, thoughts come first and they bring out emotions. That is the way I can tell whether what I'm thinking and believing is beneficial or detrimental to me.

[@gamerchristina1079]

I am filled with gratitude 🙏 thank you. Thank you! Please know that, I am thankful.

[@vanessamalcolm218]

She is so right!!! I’m in my 50’s I’m experiencing all the past traumas in my 20’s, my narcissistic mother not nurturing me and emotionally neglecting me. It hurts so bad sometimes I can’t stop crying.😢

[@propellingonpurpose5104]

This is so encouraging

[@aquariangypsy8892]

Brilliant interview. Dr. Anita is great.

[@Nightingale671]

Great episode!!

[@Stepharchives]

Loved this

[@jgoodwin977]

This is giving so much! 😍

[@danniellenelson9446]

Oh girl! Your guests have such powerful messages for us all. Thank you for this. One day sister, we're gonna be sitting in those comfy chairs and talking about how to Stop Abusing Yourself with Your Past, my 12 week course book about being human. Forgiving yourself Self care to the 9s through accountability and habit shifting Daily micro-rituals for greater peace Satiating vs slaying those pesky gremlins! How gratitude is attached to our belief systems... And more. Oh my word, I cannot say enough positive things about what you're doing here. One day I look forward to adding to this powerful conversation. See you then!

[@patmilleyjensen7889]

Just when I needed it. ❤ thank you.

[@scarlettallen-horton5078]

Absolutely brilliant!

[@bizzybiscuit]

Love her! Ty ❤

[@nesha50421]

Dr. Anita is amazing in all of her videos!!!! She spoke at my church one time & I became a fan ever since ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[@saundra2smart]

This podcast was so helpful ❤

[@Melia_Mer]

On point! 👌 Thank you for this insightful and therapeutic conversation!

[@successempowermentwithvalila]

This is so needed and important.

[@Ryanlynn222]

Amazing ❤

[@rettogo7]

This is another incredible conversation. Thank you

[@aishiaspruill2454]

This interview is amazing!!!

[@meenakshilaul9308]

What an amazingly fantastic conversation ! Phenomenal energy

[@AlexiaHDIntuition]

Yasss crucial topic emotions I love this interview thanks Lisa U Rock 🤘🙏

[@ViagensGringa]

Bless this woman♥️♥️♥️

[@taranazare2633]

So educational - thank you, both

[@nellie...]

Thank you both this interview was amazing.

[@barbarahall5514]

“The toe the foot or the entire leg…” love it ❤. It can go from trauma severe betrayal and loss; narcissist sister and difficult relationship w/mother…. All at once. It’s been 5 years and I’m still hurting; now I know why…thk u Dr. Anita; thk u love ❤️ and Lisa.

[@simonembatha7707]

Didn't realize I needed this until I clicked on the video ❤️✨. Thank you Ladies

[@juliaamundsen4560]

❤❤❤Thank you for the wonderful interview! I loved hearing both of you speak. Very healing and helpful!!

[@shannonjackson2783]

This is so good I have to watch this a few more times!

[@Ponyup67]

The fidelity knowledge brought me to tears.

[@NYStateofMindRE]

I love her! ❤

[@praiseplanner2274]

Life breaking analogy❤❤

[@aishiaspruill2454]

I lovve this healing & therapeutic interview/session ty soo much , I'm healing rt nw to a path to healthiness 🙏

[@dorothywest2053]

Thanks ❤

[@tahorrawatson4019]

This is so awakening, so many words

[@treratcliff]

She was so good had me crying ❤

[@julianamsan3104]

!!! oh my! I just love this guest! amazing❤❤

[@JudithMsonthi]

Related so much to Lisa on the father part. I literally grew up the exact same with my dad.

[@valiizajames925]

I so thank GOD for Dr. Anita, she has helped me so much in my ❤!

[@purpleseven5470]

Spot on.

[@terameeks2023]

This was life changing!!

[@Ponyup67]

I isolated in heartbreak and don't reach out to connections. This is a good lesson.

[@daschuhow]

The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker is another excellent book about trusting your emotions/body. 53:18