The Trial | Red Dwarf | BBC Comedy Greats

Lister has to take the stand in court as a character witness for Rimmer. With Kryten as his defence council, soon enough Rimmer is wishing he hadn't bothered. Funny clip from the classic BBC sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf. Watch more high quality videos on the new Comedy Greats KZbin channel from BBC Worldwide here: / bbccomedygreats
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[@TheIkaraCult]

This is probably the greatest scene in the whole show, the philosophical depth to Rimmer's sense of guilt, his own neurosis being so great that he almost doesn't want to be aquitted of guilt, and his own pettiness making him avoid even contemplating the matter. Glorious writing.

[@delboy-su3wf]

I remember a scene Rimmer running threw ship . Like he redeemed him self. He saves the crew or something charging threw ship . Maybe shooting aliens. I can't remember but was a great scene

[@jamescoulter886]

@@delboy-su3wf that’s the one where they get the Time Machine and they get attacked by themselves in the future, they all get killed but just before kryten goes he says “there’s a way o-“ then gets shot. Rimmer realises the way and goes and blows up the Time Machine! Good scene!

[@Edgel-in6bs]

Agree 100%. Side splitting.

[@rojaws1183]

Chris Barrie really nails the role of Rimmer here. A great comedian indeed.

[@philip1382]

The entire defense is so good, but there's another great line delivery during the initial conviction. "2nd degree murder? 1,000 people? I would have remembered!" "Your willful negligence in failing to reseal a drive plate resulted the of the entire crew of the Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel, the Red Dwarf." "Oh, that.."

[@inquisitor229]

"This man is only guilty of being Arnold J Rimmer, that is his crime, it is also his punishment". Priceless, and further indication that Grant and Naylor (when they were still a team) wrote the very best seasons of Red Dwarf.

[@danielwilliamson6180]

Rob and Doug's brilliant writing is what made Red Dwarf what it was.

[@josephgogan1546]

Agreed

[@benrussell9474]

I heard someone say it once before I has ever seen red dwarf and I thought it was from a philosophy book or something

[@Zukiwi1]

Brilliant

[@spaceinaspace8452]

Series 3-6 are my favourite but I still like series 1 and 2

[@matttuozzo9010]

"A man of such awesome stupidity..." "Objection!" "OBJECTION OVERRULED." "...a man of such awesome stupidity, he even objects to his own defense counsel." Gets me every time. Magnificent writing.

[@Sewblon]

It does make me wonder what Kryten would have said if Arnold had kept his mouth shut.

[@Aienhel]

best lawyer ever 😂

[@DrewSavo]

Watching Amber Heards lawyer object to his own question reminded me instantly of this statement!

[@tsartodd]

LOL sounds like Donald Trump.

[@NPCSingularity]

Lister’s occupation still makes me laugh after all these years.

[@erindrawsabit804]

My dad sometimes says "Who, only a yogurt" quoting this scene and it always cracks me up

[@johnhodson9464]

My favourite RD quote, and I might get it slightly wrong, is from a scene where Kryten delivers the punchline, ´because there are no sounds to be hear! Type in Red Dwarf No Sounds To Hear

[@rmoz2729]

Excellent. I recall falling off the lounge in laughter when I first heard this line in the broadcast…so ridiculous but so funny.

[@nathangordon4891]

My dad also does this

[@carlchapman4053]

@@johnhodson9464 Do any of you hear anything? No. Do you know why you can't hear anything?... Because THERE ARE NO SOUNDS TO HEAR!

[@invisibleman4827]

"He is only guilty of being Arnold J Rimmer. That is his crime, it is also his punishment!" That was a beautiful burn and defence in one go. XD

[@AceGGR45]

"I want an apology!"

[@timthewarlord2304]

“Would you describe the accused as a friend” “no I describe the accused as a git” 😂

[@kayerin5749]

that's spelle g-i-t as in git, not get!

[@timthewarlord2304]

KayErin thanks

[@SirMarshalHaig]

I somehow expect Lord Blackadder to peek around the corner the whole time...for some reason

[@KenMabie]

"Occupation?" "Eh... Bum"

[@kalaong]

I *love* how Kryten is able to savagely roast Rimmer without using a single curse word, substituting words that still perfectly describe the situation such as "sputum", "used tea bag" and "yogurt." 2:20

[@listerofsmeg884]

interestingly, when it was originally shown on BBC2, RD was just post watershed (9pm), yet had virtually no genuine curse words. I think the main reason for it's scheduling was some of the sexual humour (Lister losing his virginity at 12 etc)

[@mesothelimoa341]

"I want an apology" that line just ties this whole scene together.

[@Ostermond]

“Name?” “Dave Lister.” “Occupation?” “...............................................ehh, _bum!”_

[@bigmetroidfan911]

"An incompetent vending machine repairman with a Napoleon complex. Who commanded as much respect and affection from his fellow crew members as Long John Silver's parrot."

[@PhillipCowell01]

One of the funniest scenes I always thought. The top notch gags just keep coming. "Would you describe the accused as a friend?" "Take the fifth" "Nah I'd describe the accused as a git"

[@tyrant-den884]

"And who thinks most fondly of him?" "Well I do."

[@EditorOfSL]

Tyrant-Den “And are there no others with whom he has shared moments of intimacy?” “Only one, but she’s got a puncture!” 😂

[@williamcrowe2576]

"He partied less than Rudolph Hess".

[@MiningForPies]

I got my first job by telling the interviewer he sounded like a bit of a git.

[@TheRennDawg]

I know this might sound strange but that was the right verdict. If anyone is guilty it was Captain Hollister. He knew how stupid Rimmer was. The neglecte was not Rimmer's.

[@Aurochhunter]

Good point.

[@geekyradical4985]

The verdict's also correct, because it wasn't he, the hologram Rimmer who insufficiently sealed the drive plate. It was the original Rimmer, whose memories he was given.

[@heydoeradio7298]

@@geekyradical4985 of all the people to get for that projector it was him... never felt so bad for a couple of flashing lights and a good stereo

[@glenngriffon8032]

@@geekyradical4985 that's an interesting point - can a hologram projection made to basically emulate a person to perfect replication be held accountable for the deeds of the flesh and blood person who it is emulating? Hard to say. Hard to say.

[@mistergormsby]

S10 E4 touched on this topic. Rimmer: So ultimately, who was truly to blame for that accident. Was it the man, or the system? Lister: The man. Rimmer: Or was it the system? Lister: It was definitely the man.

[@harknessfan567]

"only one, but she's got a punchure."

[@TheRennDawg]

OBJECTION!

[@ALynnL07]

@@TheRennDawg Overruled.

[@wyattpeterson6286]

"Objection!"

[@madhattergamer3567]

@@wyattpeterson6286 "Also overruled"

[@wildfirevivi1226]

@Mary C if you're going to correct someones spelling maybe get it right yourself, its PUNCTURE!!!!

[@murrethmedia]

"A man who could not outwit a used teabag." Bahahahaah. Savage!

[@RetroRevisited]

Brilliant stuff. I fondly remember using this scene as part of an English essay I did on justice/guilt in fact.

[@matthewseitz9995]

I hope you got a high mark on your essay

[@GrouchyRaccoon]

As much as Red Dwarf is a ridiculous comedy, this scene has massive value. Rimmer blames himself for a crime he couldn't possibly have commited and it takes a trial of this magnitude to show him he needs to let go. I never thought I would ever say this but we could all learn something from that smeg head.

[@Sewblon]

Mr. Rimmer did in fact fail to repair the drive plate and kill the entire crew save Lister. But, he was just a vending machine repairman and everyone knew that he was a buffoon. So in truth the fault lies with the officer who assigned him to repair the drive plate. If you put a vending machine repairman in charge of repairing a non-vending machine and they fail, you really don't have anyone to blame but yourself.

[@consmos]

Absolutely savage roasting

[@frasergibson5763]

“Who sews his own name labels on his ship issued condoms” that cracked me up 😂

[@SlideIX]

Something about the way Kryton said yogurt has me really craving a müller corner

[@ScottM1973]

"A man so petty and small minded he'd wile away his evenings sewing name labels onto his ship issued condoms" This is why Red Dwarf is a TV and Comedy Great! Right! There!

[@seanpeacock4290]

in one stroke he renders them useless and unnecessary

[@Metalman200xdamnit]

Rimmer...even when proven innocent demands things. I loved this episode.

[@Metalman200xdamnit]

I loved Kryten in this scene.

[@bazm8541]

Who doesn't love Red Dwarf? This series was the best of the series for me. Series 4 was absolutely superb. This episode ' Justice ' and the episode ' DNA ' were pure comedy genius 😂😂😂

[@seanpeacock4290]

This was the first episode that I remember watching. I had to sneak out of bed and turn the volume way down because it was on so late at night, but I watched this show every night I could after that. I still recommend Red Dwarf to friends 20 years later.

[@danielwilliamson6180]

1:44 "A man so petty and small minded. He would while away his evening sowing name labels onto his ship issued condoms." LOL

[@Moondog-wc4vm]

@Henchman Twenty1 totally get your humour sir!

[@medafan53]

I may be thinking too much into it, but if he sews name labels into his condoms then isn't he riddling them with lots and lots of little holes, basically rendering them useless?

[@danielwilliamson6180]

@@medafan53 You've made a good point.

[@EditorOfSL]

*Sewing

[@Metalman200xdamnit]

@@medafan53 Rimmer wouldn't need them anyway.

[@HardlyBardly]

Some of the best burns on television ever in this one scene XD

[@danielwilliamson6180]

Good acting by Chris Barrie and Robert Llewellyn.

[@danielwilliamson6180]

Rimmer pissed off at 1:42 Chris Barrie plays Rimmer so well.

[@DrewSavo]

Danny John-Jules may only have one line but he plays it brilliantly!

[@QuadMochaMatti]

Doug Llewellyn People's Court is on at 4:00 p.m. Got to go to Kmart get my underwear and get back so we don't miss it.

[@Nilaikx]

It's actually an interesting character thing that Rimmer secretly blames himself for the crew getting wiped out, and feels like a murderer, I guess talking about that too much would slow down the comedy though

[@Moondog-wc4vm]

Well said sir!

[@RealityCheck6T9]

But wasn't there that scene where Hollister was blaming him for not fixing the drive plate, and he said "I take full responsibility for any consequences"?

[@rsoulinternet]

@@RealityCheck6T9 Yes, but maybe Hollister was the guilty party for giving such an important job to a man who could not outwit a used teabag.

[@ReddwarfIV]

@@RealityCheck6T9 Also interesting is that he took full responsibility rather than try to weasel his way out of the consequences. He believes it was his fault so strongly that it even overrides his cowardice.

[@TheIkaraCult]

When you read the books they get alot more into these aspects of the characters, I read them all when I was a kid and it really brings a depth to the characters so I can't reccomend them enough. And you can get the audiobooks too with Chris Barrie doing all the voices :)

[@danielwilliamson6180]

2:31 "Who? Only a yogurt!" LOL

[@hotdog1214]

One of my all time favourite Dwarf lines. My friends and I used to go around saying this for months after it aired. Smegging brilliant! 👍🤣

[@MOSMASTERING]

One of the best written and funniest episodes.. great story.. just as they leave the trial the reason they were there in the first place from the beginning of the episode suddenly comes back! I love all the Rimmer insults in this scene. "Who...? Only a yogurt!" Classic!

[@johnkeith8072]

If I ever need a lawyer, I want Kryten...

[@andreworourke]

Occupation? Er......bum. 😂

[@fredferd965]

Rimmer was the only person in the entire history of mankind to fail a rorschach test...

[@friendoftellus5741]

This is without doubt one of the best comedy series ever made !!!

[@adsheff]

Such sharp writing

[@user-zy1vv9yb6g]

I like the way Kryten gets into his part 😅

[@user-zy1vv9yb6g]

And I especially like it when Rimmer had to stand there and just take it, while Kryten gave his defense 😅

[@unifoon]

Thought this was actual footage from Boris Johnson's trial

[@DanielleKingdjdinosaur]

who ?Only a yogurt..The writing is just superb

[@powderphysics]

I haven't seen this scene for years but I still think about it occasionally

[@SocksWithSandals]

The loss of face and self deprecation defined this great British comedy.

[@roysoutdoorlife]

"Only one, and she's got a puncture." I chose the wrong time to take a sip of my drink...

[@ArcaneAzmadi]

Rimmer really was the sad clown of the Red Dwarf crew. A truly sad and pathetic figure, his life completely sucked, but he was so unpleasant that you only felt sorry for him occasionally (but you DID feel sorry for him occasionally).

[@danielwilliamson6180]

You've got to feel sorry for him at times.

[@SightForMemories]

Its the only right thing to do, I mean, a youghurt does command respect.

[@li-limandragon9287]

Are you kidding Rimmer is the greatest person who will ever die and live again.

[@dorialaura802]

I always thought it a bit tragic that the only thing that kept Rimmer from being Ace was that he didn't get kept back a year like Ace did..

[@Paldasan]

Doria Laura and yet right now we see how beneficial it is for all kids to start at developmentally appropriate times.

[@jam-the-hologram]

God, I love Rimmer’s outfit in this scene!

[@filiplahoda248]

occupation? bum XD

[@NPCSingularity]

Makes me laugh as hard as it did when I first heard it.

[@richardgadberry8398]

"Would you describe the accused as a friend?" "Nah, I'd describe the accused as a git."

[@jonathanklein383]

Thing is... Arnold and lister and even cat are quite brilliant when they shine. What surely happened is rimmer studied so hard on hiw to do the repair he forgot to do the repairs...

[@watchmanuk74]

GOD they dont make comedy's like this anymore i miss the old days

[@user-zy1vv9yb6g]

This is a CLASSIC 😁👍

[@tippycanoe99]

So.... a used teabag can outsmart Rimmer?

[@RealityCheck6T9]

Yep

[@jaxtonlango3287]

@@RealityCheck6T9 That sounds about right

[@SpectatorAlius]

Still funny after so many years! I find it particularly amusing that Cat tells Lister to "take the Fifth", which makes no sense outside of US Law, being a reference to the Fifth Amendment of the US Constitution. Maybe BBC viewers recognize it because they also watched American crime shows, but they are supposed to be in a distant future. The question about "petty & simple minded" reminds me of something they never expected back then: that the US could elect someone so petty & simple minded😩

[@DrLennieSmall]

The currency is the dollar-pound

[@Moondog-wc4vm]

@@DrLennieSmall They were simply years ahead of the curve. They looked at what was going on and applied a healthy dose of satire to create their scripts. Genius or savvy? you decide.

[@13gan]

Its not just a person but rather a whole party, considering how easily they fall on each other just because of a few tweets. Still, being a genius manipulator of his enemies, the the show he has shown us is the greatest of comedy, which make me wonder why anyone elect those "progressives". I'll be looking forward to the second season.

[@stitcha123]

It’s a tv show.

[@ltrtg13]

We've someone equally petty and simple minded. We could even vote. At least he's not orange.

[@535tony]

This was a great series.

[@PsyMongazoid]

So good. 😂

[@TheBiakko]

Red Dwarf’s greatest moment

[@MichaelBradley1967]

Series 4 really was the best.

[@Moondog-wc4vm]

Series 5 could give it a serious run though

[@jockim123]

the show was perfect till the 6th season

[@geekyradical4985]

Season four's probably my favourite after season 1 which I find to be the most consistently funny.

[@chrisdouglas1158]

Whom only a yogurt is one of my favorite insults ever on tv.

[@calif1mc]

Occupation? Uhh, bum 😂😂

[@andrewhiller1098]

One of the best moments in the show. We all know many security guards in our lives who consider themselves head of the corporation.

[@tzisorey]

"Who is the person who thinks of him most fondly?" "Me" Was genuinely expecting "Himself" there.

[@andrewmartin8180]

I worked with a guy in the nineties, the similarities of him and Rimmer were incredible, even though he never saw it himself and Red dwalf was his favourite show. We often made the Rimmer salute to him and he never understood th irony 😂

[@Imintune...]

Kinda a Monty Python sci fi show. 🤣

[@ericstoverink6579]

Just because it's British doesn't mean it's like Monty Python. Monty Python would have written and performed this show very differently.

[@nome2057]

brilliant 😀

[@joemay2640]

Cracks me up every time

[@samuelatwood9924]

one of my favorite scenes. lol

[@adrianridgway4333]

This is so low budget it is untrue. Brilliant.

[@JohnLloydScharf]

Hersterical, as opposed to hysterical.

[@mungreluk5810]

Hey Dave Lister, what do you ?. Err, Im a space bum. 😀

[@HellecticMojo]

for a typical scifi AI judge going on about justice, the AI judge was incredibly fair and reasonable

[@LazarouDave]

Anyone else reminded of this after seeing the Depp/Heard trial, and the lawyer objecting his own question? 😂

[@carrot708]

That is exactly why I came back here Rottenborn: "Objection, uhhh, hearsay" Judge: "You asked the question" Kryten: "A man of such awesome stupidity..."

[@willakatt1169]

A man of such awesome stupidity, he even objects to his own question.

[@stevensmith426]

Partied less than Rudolf Hess 😂😂😂

[@synthonaplinth5980]

"He would while away his evenings sewing name labels onto his ship-issue condoms..." Glad I wasn't drinking anything when Kryten said that!

[@LOGICZOMBIE]

OBRA MAESTRA

[@sylviaelse5086]

Maybe he should have received an apology. He was incarcerated, albeit for a limited period, because the court had used an inadequate method for determining guilt. How many others might be rotting away in cells due to the same miscarriage of justice, having lacked an advocate of the same calibre as Kryten.

[@andrewbeasley6003]

I want a crunchie now, yum

[@williamcrowe2576]

Wasn't there a line about a janitor who thinks he's the building's superintendent?

[@EpicGamingWarriors]

I believe it was "He is like the security guard at the front gate, who thinks hes the head of the corporation."

[@Ryusuta]

It's oddly heartwarming that in spite of truthfully calling Rimmer a git, Lister still says that he's the person who thinks of him most fondly.

[@Blizzard0fOz93]

Despite the statement implying that everyone else has less care for Rimmer than Lister does.

[@Ryusuta]

@@Blizzard0fOz93 Which is pretty much true.

[@Blizzard0fOz93]

@@Ryusuta yeah, lol.

[@AceGGR45]

Kryten: Name? Lister: Dave Lister! Kryten: Occupation? Lister: Bum! 😂🤣

[@ladymecha8718]

Arnold, what a git. 😂

[@paulinetayloe9988]

Chris Barry he was a fine looking young man when he was younger or maybe that’s just me.

[@kenthomson9562]

Credit to James Smillie as the Justice Computer.

[@danielwilliamson6180]

1:09 Coronation Street courtroom scene in space.

[@ellaanimates]

Objection! Sir what are you objecting to now? I want an apology U-U

[@philipboffey8630]

Nahh id describe the accuser as a git! Haha

[@tangomoggy]

A little bit of culture for you...the stands in this look remarkably like the Willow Chair by Charles Rennie Mackintosh. Pretty much identical I'd say...!

[@thedelaylamakaraokeclub4100]

Why does kryten look like nick clegg in the thumbnail 😂

[@wizardsuth]

How did they get the chairs from the Star Trek TNG episode _The Devil's Due_ ?

[@baileybecker5583]

Being Rimmer is cruel and unusual punishment.

[@Metalman200xdamnit]

I actually use "yogurt" to describe idiotic customers.

[@eyokirvideos7400]

In fairness...considering he got banged up for a crime he didn't commit...Rimmer asking for an apology is kinda understandable

[@Andy123Harris1]

But Rimmer really wants an apology for the things Kryten said about him during his defense argument…

[@BetterCallJim]

Take the 5th

[@Dim4323]

OBJECTION

[@willhull1735]

Occupation? Ehh........ Bum 😅🤣🤣🤣

[@marcusreading3783]

Why was Rimmer even put in charge of fixing the Drive Plate? Something as important as that should surely have dedicated, trained staff on hand who make damn sure that its working as intended. And yet they give the job to someone who noone likes and everyone is well aware that he is an idiot who cant even cheat on his exams right. As much as I love Red Dwarf, thats always bugged me.

[@IceWolfLoki]

He probably volunteered and Lister wasn't there to get them out of it or actually do it properly. It may also be a job that's next to impossible to do as badly as Rimmer did. Then his personnel file states "If a jobs worth doing it's worth doing well, if it's not worth doing give it to Rimmer"

[@marcusreading3783]

@@IceWolfLoki ...hes the lowest ranked technician on board the ship, no one likes him and every is well aware of the fact that hes utterly incompetent. I dont care how idiot proof a job is, for something that literally prevents the crew from being turned into irradiated dust, you give it to someone trained for the job, not the random moron who everyone hates.

[@kickthesky]

I love that the Cat tells Lister to plead on an amendment to the United States Constitution against self-incrimination. Gotta wonder how that wandered into a British comedy :)

[@austinseven4720]

Because the British have long had the 'Right To Silence.' It certainly pre-dates the US. However, the 5th Amendment is more widely known, hence the use of that reference. And in universe (at least in the novels), there appears to have been some amalgamation of the UK and US as Lister talks about 'DollarPounds' as currency!

[@sheenlv16]

Who? Only a yoghurt

[@johnkeith8072]

So very relevant to this moment in time. The GOP is trying to argue that Trump tried to commit crimes, but was too incompetent. Therefor, no harm, no foul... Trump of course, denies that he is too stupid to pull off a crime, and is angry at them for suggesting he couldn't...

[@Metalman200xdamnit]

I think you have it backwards. The Democrats are too stupid to see past their own ineptitude and try to pin *anything* on Trump. But Trump lets them think they can hurt him when the truth is that they cannot do anything right.

[@Edgel-in6bs]

Long John silvers parrot

[@GenjiShimada.]

OBJECTION OVERRULED!

[@jasonlewis3742]

Probably the biggest plot hole in Red Dwarf. Why on earth would Hollister entrust Rimmer, a man barely even competent enough to refill chicken soup in the vending machines, to fix the drive plate?

[@rsoulinternet]

Maybe the repair was urgent and all the engineers were ill with Chicken Soup poisoning.