Like Joker wrote "The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't"
@AxelStone14 жыл бұрын
"Just remember, you deserve to be happy". Is it me, or is that the most powerful ending line to a KZbin video I've ever heard?
@peacefulmind65404 жыл бұрын
Powerful AND just what many of us need to be reminded of regularly. Thanks Max!
@Frederic_S4 жыл бұрын
You are doing a great job. Seriosly. I am not mentaly ill, but I am trying hard to better understand my friends that do have they problems.
@maxderrat4 жыл бұрын
That's so good to hear. I wish there were more people like you putting forward the effort.
@Frederic_S4 жыл бұрын
Max Derrat We are not alone, Max. I myself have my doubts, if I am doing the right helpfull things for my friends. So I do get help from other peole. People who I dont even knew were my friends. The world is sometimes better than we can imagine.
@what72874 жыл бұрын
i have social anxiety and it really hurts. It's like i have imprisoned myself.
@grawman674 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry. I've been through similar societies. We're here. Feel free to hit me up if you need to talk to someone
@bodeeweichel60704 жыл бұрын
I have social anxiety to. Believe me, I know that feeling. If you ever need somebody to talk to, I'm here. Maybe since we both have it we won't come across as awkward towards each other.
@victor_silva61424 жыл бұрын
I think I need a puppy! Dogs are therapy! They don't judge they only love, play, eat and sleep! :D
@awsumpchits4 жыл бұрын
@@victor_silva6142 you're right, i think the same way about my kitty. Cats don't lie)
@victor_silva61424 жыл бұрын
@@awsumpchits cats are gentlemen. I love when they spot a box and try to fit in So cute
@nataliasteiner4 жыл бұрын
I had to stop watching horror movies, which i love so much, because of anxiety. It took me THREE YEARS to slowly go back to doing it. People don't imagine the personal strength it takes to keep loving the things that hurt us, to keep the faith. It's long term mental gymnastics and exhausting
@shadowhacker1904 жыл бұрын
I too have generalized anxiety and I must thank you for your video. I am a fan of your work and to know that I'm not alone in this plight is very reassuring. I only was diagnosed with it recently but thinking back I realize how long this has been in my life and how thru the course of it, its affected it in so many ways. Whether it ruined my relationships or allowed it to ruin opportunities. This video gives me strength and hope and I really appreciate that. Always know that you aren't alone either, we're all in this together. Keep up the good work brother.
@MaxterandKiwiKing4 жыл бұрын
I've struggled with anxiety all of my life, and it seems to be getting worse. In particular, Existential/Death anxiety. I am terrified of my own mortality and I cant stop worrying about it, to the point of losing sleep over it and finding it difficult to enjoy things. I'm not even actively dying as far as I'm aware, but the thought of death is driving me insane. I wish I could go see a therapist about it (and a ton of other issues as well, namely my social anxiety and depression) but I'm broke and currently unemployed. I just want to sleep well at night again.
@grawman674 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry. I've had these fears quite a bit. If it helps, feel free to hit up his Discord server or me!
@Jay_Hendrix2 жыл бұрын
It's okay to be afraid of death. Being afraid to die is fundamentally what makes you human. Don't listen to the people that have supposedly "accepted death" or claim they aren't afraid to die, because they're in denial of how terrifying death is. Your body only survives because it's engineered to run from death. You are literally designed to be afraid to die on a cellular level. I'm no Christian, but when Christ was crucified, his last words were "Father, why have you forsaken me?" Really let what that means sink in. God incarnate, supposedly the perfect man, in his final moments was afraid to die. In his final moments, God himself doubted his own plan. Let that speak to how objectively terrifying death really is. Do not feel bad about it and do not let anyone judge you or look down on you for being afraid to die. I am so scared to die, but it's my fear of death that gives me the sense that my time is precious. If I were to never die, I would never feel any pressure to live. In a way it really makes me feel grateful for my fear of death, because it's my greatest motivation. The thing I'm most afraid of is that I sometimes grow numb to my fear of death. I start wasting my precious time and find myself living in a rut, ungrateful to the things and people I love. My best advice is to go to the people you love the most and pour out your heart to them about your fear. Cry, hold them and tell them how much you love them and that you don't want to let them go. Let it out. It's what I did after I danced with death. Sure I was afraid of looking weak and pathetic, but I was overwhelmingly more afraid of dying without ever telling my loved ones how much they mean to me. I'm honestly tearing up just thinking about it... Take my strength and love as hard as you can. Life sucks, but the world is beautiful.
@robertevans70034 жыл бұрын
We walk similar roads & I keep tripping up Trying to outrun my shadow Thx for the video :)
@reyesiman014 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your experience. I originally found your channel from the SH videos, which were amazing btw. Everything said here really clicked with me.. For the longest time, I thought it was something to be ashamed of. Something I hid from those closest to me. I've struggled with anxiety/PTSD for a very long time. This video made me realize that I shouldn't be ashamed of it, that I can seek help from people similar. Thanks Max.
@x2wizards4 жыл бұрын
You said in the end that it helps you to help other people and you inspired me to share my solution to anxiety. At some point I realized that there was a better way to view the world than the bubble I was in and I adopted stoic philosophy, where you accept what is given to you not as something negative (or positive or anything at all) but as neutral. See the cards in your hand and play them without thinking. Don't compare them with someone else's, don't be sad about them because it's what you have. Be grateful for being alive and enjoy what's given to you despite your differences from the median. At least this shift in philosophy worked for me. My anxiety started being less scary and slowly faded away. After some years there is still some anxiety left but with meditation I can control it, also my STPD symptoms went away (it comes back if I smoke weed but it doesn't scare me anymore). ~There is no disorder; there are different kinds of order. (Not a native speaker, not sure if it shows)
@Liz-tj7ni4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing something that is so personal with us. It's good for others to know that they are not alone and that there are people who understand.
@kalypsodeepsea9824 жыл бұрын
I relate so much. I have generalized anxiety and hell I keep thinking about everything that I possibly did wrong and even if I can't change it, I still think about it. 😔
@awsumpchits4 жыл бұрын
2:30 Hello and welcome to the virtual tour of my mind. If you have any questions please refer to Max Derrat, he will be your host while I sit in the corner and rock back and forth.
@emeraldqueen19944 жыл бұрын
I feel the same way, Nick..
@maaat144 жыл бұрын
Same here man.
@awsumpchits4 жыл бұрын
This video hits really close to home
@markasaur4 жыл бұрын
Feels werid to thumbs up this As even listining to that part of the video almost made me cry. Wish everyone the best and the strength to make it through whatever ails you.
@antoniososa27984 жыл бұрын
Thank you Max. I really appreciate all the work you are doing to bring light to mental illness as a whole. I am profoundly grateful
@GabbieAbbie4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing this, I see so much of me in what you described. As you know it can be hellish. Your video's have helped tremendously. Thank you :-)
@grawman674 жыл бұрын
Max, I already love your gaming videos but this was really powerful. My symptoms have hardly been to the level of yours but I've had anxiety for years. And it got far worse my senior year of high school and in college. I thankfully had a lovely therapist who helped me learn so much. Thank you for helping others who suffer like this. I'll be tuning into the podcast and joining your server. I hope some of these comments at least help you smile. You seem like a great dude.
@maxderrat4 жыл бұрын
Just saw you join the server! Thanks so much for that. We're very happy to have you here. :)
@grawman674 жыл бұрын
@@maxderrat Thanks, Max! I'm happy to be there!
@emeraldqueen19944 жыл бұрын
I have PTSD from my childhood... if you lived here in Texas, I would recommend my PTSD specialist therapist! (She’s been a lifesaver for me and my mom! I’ve sent this to her already)
@Inressa4 жыл бұрын
I live in Texas. Who is this person? I've been looking and kinda struggling to find an actually focused mental health professional for PTSD in the kinda starved for physician place I live.
@ConsideringPhlebas4 жыл бұрын
Hello, Max. Yet another very valuable and enlightening video. I relate to a lot of what you describe, though I don't think my experience of anxiety is nearly as severe as yours. I've recently been reading Atomised by Michel Houellebecq. I think it quite aptly illustrates the phenomenon of profound social alienation, as well as alludes to its possible causes. One of the main characters laments that he's not "more of an animal", like some people seem to be, meaning of course that they're instinctual, impulsive and have an apparently spontaneous ease in being who and what they are. For those of us with an ever-intrusive and even debilitating sense of self-awareness, a simple spontaneity seems like a very enviable thing to have, especially as it remains ever elusive. This is something that has long puzzled me about other kinds of people: how can it be so effortless and natural to them? Well, of course they have social problems, but they're of quite a different type. I'm beginning to think that 'non-neurotypicals' gravitate towards each other, in the same way that neurotypicals do, and on the flip side that the one repels the other. I have few close friends and they are sure enough not neurotypical, with one who shows every sign of being genuinely autistic, who is also, incidentally, the only person I've ever had a (romantic) relationship with. I would not say necessarily that I am autistic, but I'm certainly not typical in terms of my social and psychological development. Solitude may be said to be another long time companion. Though something I'm still not sure of is whether my relative ease existing in a comparatively isolated state is due to natural disposition, or whether it's a numb resignation to the reality of social alienation. I feel an ambivalent contentment in it, while I know that in some respects it can certainly be obstructive to the pursuit of things one still needs in life, like companionship itself. Anyway, I write this simply because your video reminded me of things I was thinking about this very day. I do however have faith that improvement in one's situation is possible, for all of us. The frame of mind I've been in today would previously have had me quite miserable for the rest of the day, possibly into tomorrow. But I feel well now, mentally balanced, like a mental catharsis has taken hold. The Abyss is still there, but it's not as deep. Anyway, if you read all this, thanks. Be well.
@stevebob2404 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Max. I have had some experience with anxiety myself, and friends and family who do too. This was very well explained and useful for both people with and without anxiety disorders. Keep up your good work!
@trake14 жыл бұрын
You are very brave, and would be probably be a hero to some (not to put any weight on you), but overall you are very helpful to me to learning about all these things. Been a subscriber since the Silent Hill studies you have done. I hope every video you post, the stronger everyone affected that sees them will be stronger, and more importantly, that you become stronger, Max. 🙏🏻✌🏻❤️
@ronangallagher72974 жыл бұрын
I don't know if I have GAD (I do have anxiety) but alot of what you said about having an overwhelming fear of disappointing parents and teaches at a young age, repressing feelings and being perceived as well behaved for most of my school life only for my feelings to resurface later on in negative ways is something I've also gone though. I'm on the spectrum and do acting at university and its helped me tremendously with my autism and self confidence but I still overwhelm myself with little things like how I'm coming across to others, will I forget something when I'm out shopping, I'm I good enough to even be at university and so on. Sometimes but not as bad nowadays, I would have flashbacks to past events or conversations and start speaking as if it was happening at that moment, to be fair its not as bad as it sounds and I feel stupid for overreacting to it, a friend seen me doing it in public a few weeks ago and it tunes out she does the same thing ironically. Thank you Max for this video, I found it very helpful.
@nikkity54914 жыл бұрын
Also ADD/ADHD Creates some extreme anxiety from experience Oh and those moments had my soul turning into a crushing singularity
@Ian-oe9wp4 жыл бұрын
i had adhd pills as a kid and I know a few others that had them too. I later realized school was just really boring I can focus really well although I am still a bit socially anxious
@victor_silva61424 жыл бұрын
@@Ian-oe9wp You took that shit as a kid? Wow. I was diagnosed when I was 30 yo and was hard to take these pills. They make me functional to studies, work and family but their sideeffects are still hard to deal. Like insomnia, cardioshit happening and the fact that I can not drink alcohol. Damn I miss alcohol...
@fairyonice95043 жыл бұрын
Omg, those moments when I stop paying attention to my surroundings and act like a goof, then realize everyone is judging me. I just want to die XD
@flufflebunn35144 жыл бұрын
When I went to my PCP to get an autism diagnosis this summer, I didn’t bring examples of why I suspect I have AS. She told me that I don’t look like I have autism and I seem more like I have GAD. I already knew I had GAD and my symptoms of GAD are at the forefront of my behavior, but underneath it all, I know that my anxiety stems a lot from worrying that I don’t understand someone or someone won’t understand me. After she said that to me, it’s like I shutdown and all the words she said to me afterwards was like a fast blur. I left the doctors office internally beating myself in the parking lot for not preparing my visit with evidence. Then I had a meltdown when I was in my room. I thought about calling her back to tell her about what happened but I stopped myself because I thought I’d be bothering her or interrupting her from something more important that me. Because of that, I didn’t end up doing anything to ensure that I have AS with a mental health professional. I will never forget how that moment felt.
@muppetjedisparklefeet29824 жыл бұрын
Brilliant as always Max! My husband is in nurse practitioner school and during his psych lessons last month he approached me with the likelihood I have GAD and recommended I talk to my therapist about it. I have ASD and everything you describe is so me so I wouldn’t be surprised if I had GAD also. But I’m scared to have another “thing” that makes me broken so I haven’t brought it up to her yet.
@jomarch16454 жыл бұрын
Oh. I though I'd listen to educate myself about GAD. But that is eerily close to the thoughts I have… Oh.
@trashcanpossum2304 жыл бұрын
I really felt this video. It reminds me a lot of myself. It's hard to make and keep friends.
@MammaApa4 жыл бұрын
Huh, I didn't know about the autism thing, I found your channel through your analysis videos of media and hadn't checked the backlog of videos when subscribing (although I maybe should have guessed considering how much these videos SCREAM special interest). I am also on the spectrum and while I do have my share of anxiety I have, now in my early 40s, through a number of coping mechanisms got MOST of it under control. These include becoming somewhat of a recluse, smoking pot and developing a personality in which I care very little of what other people think of me. I was a punk and a goth for a number of years and that never quite wore off. Although unaware of autism then, looking back on it now I can see why those outsider subcultures appealed to me; I never had a choice to be anything but an outsider and in them I could pretty much be myself without a lot of masking. I don't THINK I'm a complete asshole, but considering I recently watched a lot of Alan Moore interviews and really couldn't see why this guy has the reputation of being such a jerk, then again maybe I am. This detachment from society certainly helps [me], but I can understand why the asocial "asshole" persona isn't for everyone.
@googleuser50624 жыл бұрын
thanks for this, man
@FrensisR4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your experience Max. Like you said it wasn't easy for you to back to those days and I appreciate you found the strength to do so! Keep up with the good work you're doing for us all! ❤️
@sKullzoo94 жыл бұрын
I really truly relate to almost everything you mentioned in this video. Thank you for sharing, it very much helps.
@G3Dem4 жыл бұрын
Worrying stopped for me when I ate enough for breakfast, set myself micro ambitions and accepted that I will never ever know what will happen. Since then I'm able to snap out of it. It's a gift. That's why it is called "the present"!
@skyeguy79143 жыл бұрын
I cannot stress enough how great the work you are doing here is. In a way, these videos of yours have changed my life. I feel with each video like I understand something about myself that I’ve been struggling to understand for... years. These videos are important, not just for you, but for everyone who spent their lives being convinced by the people around them that they should just ignore the symptoms and hope they go away. They are important for the people who don’t understand these things, who don’t see how bad this stuff can hurt. You are really doing something that will make a difference in my opinion, no matter how many it reaches.
@yeahhuss2 жыл бұрын
you are helping me cope with all my illnesses, and the fact that we went to the same university and both lived in that room and had a bad experience is blowing my mind. Thank you Max
@doktawhawee98704 жыл бұрын
Your content goes far beyond amazing. It is LEGENDARY. You should feel proud.
@whycivilequalsinsane4 жыл бұрын
Im so glad to hear this perspective, i have been fortunate enough to adress my own ptsd and have move fairly far from my anxiety through embracing my fears. I learned a lot from your video about just how far i had moved forward! Thank you.
@FoamKittyGamer4 жыл бұрын
Anxiety is not necessarily constant worry, or negative thoughts, it's a constant feeling of stress pain.
@Inressa4 жыл бұрын
A pain that can feel so overwhelmingly awful, so paralyzingly suffocating and constricting, that you stop feeling it. It starts to bubble up at quite literally the worst possible times, ruining any chance of happiness, any chance of enjoyment of a prolonged state of comfort, any type of joy from life. It just seems to fuck with you, no matter how much conscious thought you give to irrationality in your feelings and mental pains, no matter how much you decide that you don't want to feel that way anymore, it stays. It's been with me for about as long as I can remember and it only seems to get worse as time goes on. I don't feel as if I'm alone and that only saddens me to a greater degree. I really, really, really hope and pray to whatever entities that exist, whatever weird guiding forces that may or may not be out there, that people don't have to feel this way. That maybe eventually I can do something to help people. I don't feel as if I help anyone and I don't think I have anything near what it takes to help really anyone when I can't help myself at all, but I want and need to try. I hope this little rant resonates with you, and I hope you find some way to feel better eventually. I will continue to try too.
@TheVampragon4 жыл бұрын
Well great, when you said "bread and..." I was waiting for the second word 'cause I can't even understand basic exercises 😂
@em_rip2 жыл бұрын
I have GAD and it’s hard to cope with. It is an unconscious behavior where your brain worries about everything you do. How you speak, your mannerisms, your appearance, your actions, your judgement is all being questioned obsessively. I suffer with depressive episodes because of it. I am so miserable sometimes I get into these episodes where I believe that my life will just be this continuous pattern of anxiety. I shut myself away and I feel so much loathing. It’s truly something I never ever wish anyone has to experience.
@joshrendon84423 жыл бұрын
Max, thank you for your courage in putting out this video sharing your personal experiences to help others understand GAD! I suffer from GAD, ADHD, and depression. I often struggle to get even loved ones to understand how GAD can feel and how it affects every part of my life. You have done a brilliant job explaining this disorder (even if you don’t believe it); it’s so good in fact I’m planning on showing it to my family and friends. Personally, I hadn’t acknowledged how bad my anxiety had gotten as of lately until I watched your video. Thankfully I have a counseling appointment already scheduled. Your videos are doing good.
@LorenaTerryArtist3 жыл бұрын
That is horrible what you mom did to you. I can COMPLETELY and totally understand. My mom did that a lot, to me but most of the time verbally. God bless you!
@Kirill-Ivanov20024 жыл бұрын
I think I'm fine. Thank you for reassuring me for that.
@LukeO-12344 жыл бұрын
I wish you showed yourself on videos but i have anxiety and part of it is I don't like seeing myself on camera so I understand if you have that same fear
@AlexrYoung4 жыл бұрын
Thank you Max. This is right on the mark
@MatthewC331994 жыл бұрын
I have GAD as well as autism, OCD, and other mental health issues. I can relate to so much of what you described this video. I freak out over even a below 100% test score and agonize over the slightest decisions, fearing I'm making the wrong decision. (Even after I do make the decision, I regret whatever decision I do make and constantly fantasize over what could have been.) I remember when I was 10 wishing that I would have a moment where I wasn't worried about something. I'm 20 now and that wish has never come true. My GAD feeds into my other mental health problems too. I worry about food all of the time too (I have an eating disorder) and worry that I will get fat if I eat over a certain number of calories or certain types of food. I worry that people who watch me eat will think I'm a glutton, to the point where I try to hide when I'm eating. It really sucks. Most of my other mental illnesses wax and wane in severity, but GAD is constant. Thank you for making this video to show that people with GAD are not alone.
@Mr-li3wo4 жыл бұрын
You hit the nail on the head my friend.
@MrSwac314 жыл бұрын
For all the people here you have been diagnosed (ADD, ADHD, Autism, BPD, etc...) I would urge you to check out Complex PTSD. If your experiencing excessive amount of shame, feeling broken, that you have life-or-death reactions to things that should be considered benign, if you keep insulting yourself, go over things over and over, if your parents where hyper anxious, if they were distant, etc... If so read Pete Walker's Complex PTSD: From surviving to thriving (if you can't pay you can find it on Library Genesis, if the site is inaccessible paste Librery Genesis's URL into HideMyAss's freeproxy). I recognize myself a lot in the video of Max and since I've find this book I've benefited so much. It's not the be all and all, but it's a good start. Behavioral Psychology, zen meditation, increasing awareness, self parenting, neuro-linguistic programming, hypnosis, self hypnosis, etc... All of those disciplines, practices offer believes systems and tools that CAN help us.
@masicbemester2 жыл бұрын
as someone with second hand stress panics everytime my mom gets very stressed about something, I think I should check that out
@alexiusgray34764 жыл бұрын
Damn. I've never considered myself as an individual suffering from anxiety in any manner nor form, but what you've shared in this video was eerily relatable to me. Though not to the same intensity, I've always regarded my onslaught of self-criticism and self-hate as something normal and justified because I thought that I had the capacity to work harder and that I never fulfilled that. Which is why I didn't think about it deeper, just accepted it as a part of my personality. But, really, whenever one of my parents chastised me about something their words were so so damn painful to me. I really wanted to die once. Although I know full well that my parents don't complain about me, whenever I can't hear their conversations clearly I always feel like I did something wrong and I'm being criticised for it. Anyway, I don't want to write a full block of text, so I'll say this: your videos have always been absurdly fascinating to me and this one isn't any different. It should be regarded as an insult that you don't have more subscribers. Have a good day even though this video was posted more than two months ago.
@RosheenQuynh4 жыл бұрын
I was diagnosed with depersonalization last week... It's answered so many questions I had about my PTSD, anxiety, and identity issues. But unfortunately, I'm never gonna get those years of agony back; especially the days I spent puking my guts and being hospitalized because I couldn't keep food down due to anxiety... I envy all the full-term babies out there who didn't have to endure the misery was premature birth...
@Pellepalt4 жыл бұрын
Thnx for the video Max, I'm sure alot of people will relate to this and find some relaxation in that they are not alone in this struggle. In my case I'm starting to wonder if anxiety can be bound to allergic reactions or inflamation caused by the allergic reaction... I'm a dirt rally driver so the contrast between being anxious about everything one day then risking my life in a rallycar the next is so absurd it's almost comedic. Since my anxiety is bound to my intake of food I sometimes waterfast for 48 hours just to give myself some breathingroom. (I use intermittent fasting to keep it in check otherwise: no breakfast, LCHF for lunch and then whatever for dinner) Again in my case it seems to be bound to inflamation caused by food-allergies so I don't recommend anyone just adapting my method.
@stridertechz4 жыл бұрын
so this is the truth about AS series part 2? that’s cool
@dancingwholeness3 жыл бұрын
As someone with progressively lessening brain processor issues and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, all I have to say to this video is: oh my god a KZbinr who finally put into words what this shit is like!
@MarcoSwoboda4 жыл бұрын
I have several anxiety disorders, and what I learned for life is that the source of all is anger. Surpressed anger is what let us feel anxiety.
@lordshishio4 жыл бұрын
This video really hit home. You basically have the same things I have, like GAD, ASD, PTSD and ADHD, with OCD as well. Also had issues with my mom over what I know now is everything I mentioned, but her believing it was me acting out, at home or at school. I manage better now because I sought help, though still struggle everyday, some days worse than others and still have family that judge. It feels good knowing I'm not the only one that suffers from these issues, for what it's worth anyways.
@wendigochild4 жыл бұрын
I hope your okay this is exactly how I’ve felt my entire life I didn’t know how to cope with it so I kept damaging myself more and more with each experience I’m starting to get on right path I hope thank you for making me not feel alone this helps a lot and I hope anyone that is going through the same thing finds a way to love life for what it is
@354Entertainment4 жыл бұрын
your videos are incredible! more valuable as gold!
@abstractl1fe2534 жыл бұрын
I appreciate you Max. Thank you for your shared thoughts and light of hope that you always seem to find a way to put in most everything I’ve seen on your channel. I’m am a very deep thinker and I do have anxiety along with very heavy depression. I’ve been trying to learn more about psychology in recent months and your videos have for me personally have been extremely interesting and helpful for me. I’d hate to waste you’re time reading paragraphs of good things I appreciate about you so let me just say again, thank You and I hope the best for you!🤟
@SasuraRdm4 жыл бұрын
I had to hold back some tears. I literally went through the exact same thing in college. I lied to my family again at the time. Telling them some bogus story about how I needed a more school like system to be comfortable even though that had nothing to do with it, and happened again in that new environment I thrust myself in. But I managed to barely get through every year with just enough attendance. I constantly make excuses not to go out. I created a self imposed rule not to go out more than once a day. The list goes on. My mind is worry. It's been like that since I was a kid and I think I'm gonna stop talking lest I get more emotional.
@JimmyStiffFingers4 жыл бұрын
Holy shit, this is so recognisable. Joined the discord.
@Neku6284 жыл бұрын
That sounds kind of like me when I went to university and community college. My stepdad had generalized anxiety or something close to it. My mom usually wrote him off as a loser. I think I might have a lot in common with him.
@shermanium78344 жыл бұрын
thanks for this
@DGDDice3 жыл бұрын
I relate with this so much. thank you for this video. I have to keep alot of stuff deep down when it comes to my GAD, aspergers and depression until I can release it all in a private place as well and its hell especially when my parents seem to be able to understand my younger brother with his problems yet when it comes to me I'm treated as a burden and as if I should just shut up and never take off the mask that becomes more mentally draining every day in my life I have to wear it. Only thing that keeps me sane is my drawings and writing in my diary and also hearing people like you who are able to speak about your problems which gradually gives me the confidence to be more open with my own so thank you and sorry if this is a bit lengthy. i tried to make it as short as I could otherwise I would be writing a whole essay :S.
@Protaanta4 жыл бұрын
You and I are very similar - eerily so - down to the beating myself in front of my mother - like 90 percent of the thing you described i suffer from also. When i started meditating it all clicked for me - i was about 25 years old then and i loved psychology a bunch so i kinda knew about GAD and Autism and ADHD - but when i started meditating - for the first time i got to observe these faulty systems in motion - its hard to explain but imagine tricking your brain into thinking that - you are sleeping - you get to then watch these systems unfold - i got to hear my own thoughts that were also causing me depression - thoughts like you are worthless and lazy - that kinda stuff. Since while meditating - all my conscious effort was to focus on my breathing - at one point i just started hearing these thoughts and realized that i did not even try or think about thinking them at that point of time - they were generated by my mind automatically - i am not my depression. I am a separate entity - like ego and Id - my ego is actually healthy and perfect - it is the id - or simply put - it is my brain chemistry that is having a bad influence on my ego. That helped me immensely that moment in time because it framed the whole picture for me - also i had a lucid dream a couple of days later where i found myself inside my usual recurring nightmare that pestered me my whole life - after realizing it was a dream because when i started meditating i also started researching and obsessing about lucid dreams and keeping a dream journal - i never had the nightmare again. The thing that lead me to meditation was trying magic mushrooms for the first time - it was a great trip with friends but i remember that, for the first time in my life i felt free of many of the symptoms that plagued me - also i laughed my ass off and felt genuinely happy for the first time in forever. But knowing how drugs can be detrimental, and having a disdain for medicine because i was prescribed a bunch of sedatives and anti depressants for my depression that only helped me get numbed down apathetic and lose a lot of weight - i opted to learn meditation and lucid dreaming because it seemed like a safer more natural option. And it was free. What helped me finally overcome everything happened last year - when i realized that i must not fight against it. I must accept all my faults and like you said - they will always stay, you can only cope. I started multitasking like mad and working even harder. All my life i tried to focus on one specific thing but my ADHD would just destroy everything in the end. You said you are a perfectionist - me too - but i really admire how you are for example the only youtuber i know to successfully decipher the mystery of Gman in the Half life series of games. I finished film school and having an eye for details is something many film directors have. The film director that taught me a lot about everything before i got into the academy told me something i could never forget - ive been observing you and i think you are a talent because you are more sensitive than my other students - to sound, to movement - you will always be the first student in my group to pick up on something and react. We need to try to learn to direct our thinking into productive stuff and literally abuse these systems for our own gain - my whole life ive been teaching myself to overcome my Executive Function Disorder - it is the only thing im still struggling with now but i completely managed to overcome my depression - it is still there and a part of me but i literally managed to use all of these disabilities for my own benefit - once i overcome my EFD - once i become 90 percent productive i will deliver great works of art and only then will i truly be happy because i will prove to myself that im more than my limitations. Im at 60 percent now but keep in mind that all my life ive been starting projects and abandoning them and because my mind is on fire all the time i needed more downtime overall - and because of GED that downtime was never fully effective because i would always hate myself for enjoying something or having fun as it was a waste of time - i have been only 30 percent productive my whole life even thought i dont feel lazy and i had spikes up to 120 percent in some periods - where people who dont know me would call me a workaholic genius) So the message that im trying to convey is - burn the anger as a fuel on your journey. Find ways to become aware of all these systems at play - try mindfulness meditation or the wim hoff method - because its a free tool that can only help you - and use the hyperactivity of your brain to excel at what you do. Because once you are happy, once you come to this point of being aware of your downsides and the way your brain works - you can create great works of art - no matter what you do, even if you are just a plumber.
@nochillnorris3 жыл бұрын
You are a very kind person thank you. I have not cried in a while i needed to get that out.
@eggirl36503 жыл бұрын
Thanks for making this video, I feel very similarly in a lot of ways and this will give me an organized way to talk to people about it and articulate my experiences.
@KindOldRaven4 жыл бұрын
I feel the pain of being overly anxious as well unfortunately. It can feel like your mind is building a prison for yourself. I've broken free temporarily due to things I won't discuss here and I always crave that stress-free feeling.
@user-qo1wz2fk9q4 жыл бұрын
Nice video. Also I noticed that your preview pic is also used as an album cover in Michael McCann's 4 [EP] album. Which is nice, because I find music from this this EP very calming.
@onebeingeverybody3 жыл бұрын
You sir are magnificent. Thank you. Thank you a thousand times.
@maykun0704 жыл бұрын
And the most conflicting thing is that most have a lot more responsibility and expectations than i do at the moment,but my inner feeling hates even that little i am expected to handle.On the outside it seems like i will handle it for a lot more(although quite awkwardly and sloppy)but on the inside i fall apart and scream every day and i know that if i open up or confess , all i will ever get is either a chastising or indifference.
@wordsisnukes4 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Max.
@tHeplAyiER4 жыл бұрын
Wow, thank you for being so honest! ❤️
@mirandawallace58932 жыл бұрын
this is def me ive stuggled with this since a child the age of 6 as a matter of fact. thanks for the help!
@rask0043 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. I can relate so much to what you say, also being Autistic, and having GAD and Depression myself. Much of what you have explained or shared I can relate to as shared experiences, both external (events in life) and internal (physical sensations, and emotional and psychological responses). I am definitely interested in your Discord server now and will take a look. Also, in regards to the one experience with your parents that you shared, I would say you definitely have a form of PTSD / Trauma, in the form of emotional neglect - through a lack of sufficient positive emotional input from your parents (such as nurturing, compassion or sympathy) in the ways you needed - and in the form of negative emotional or social responses to your behaviour which can damage self esteem development. One thing I am curious about with GAD is how it may relate to upbringing and emotional support in childhood, and if people with GAD are more likely to have experienced emotional neglect, negative emotional reinforcement (such as mocking, bullying or psychological attacking behaviours from parents), and self-esteem problems. I myself experienced a year of therapy in 2010 which focused on self-esteem and better internal awareness of the thoughts and emotions occurring during anxiety "episodes". I still have GAD and Depression, I can still spiral emotionally into dark pits with things outside my control, I still need support to manage it, and I still struggle with things related to Autism especially where I have to socially mask or hide my autistic behaviours such as stimming. But I can report a major improvement in self-image since that therapy, I am more aware of anxiety levels and can note irrational thinking or feelings and "counterthink" more easily, if the anxiety is low enough, and I am more assertive with my needs. I have also talked to my parents about their actions during my upbringing and they have acknowledged they made mistakes, and my relationships with both of them have improved greatly, I respect them as people and they behave respectfully toward me as an adult, which they should be doing anyway as I am an adult. There are things they still think or do which are not right with my boundaries but cannot affect my wellbeing anymore, and I can choose to assert myself if the consequences are not harmful.
@madisonsosa214 жыл бұрын
You describe me back from high school to now, I will admit I was tearing up a little.
@mishagirl14144 жыл бұрын
Me: 41 All types of Anxiety; Depression; Bad mother; parents divorced when I was almost 4; bullying in school and in jobs, violent ex-husband (19-23); suicide from a boyfrend 1 day before my 25th birthday; almost raped (36), lost 3 Babies from my 16 yr relationship (24 march 2019) and no kids; discovered I have Endometriosis (sorry if this is not the right term) and august 2019 a bad job accident that I'm still recovering and I hate my Boss (by the way my boss is a woman too and she hated to know that I was pregnant (with risk). Ah, I didn't finish Veterinarian MD. That's my story. Thanks a lot for bringing this subject. Hugs, from Portugal.
@agosesco71344 жыл бұрын
Sometimes when I've got nothing to do my mind always comes back to one thought "I'm going to die" I feel like it's a good example of my anxiety, even though I know I have a life ahead of me I start to worry about my future and everything else. It gets so bad I start shaking and crying and my heartbeat speeds up, It's horrible
@tay73664 жыл бұрын
I don’t know what condition I have But I have continuously self destructed my life since my teens. I can’t keep anyone near me I burn bridges and can’t live with anyone. I have even walked away from my own home and am now homeless. Doctors just dole out antidepressants which I don’t take. I will follow your link Thank you for posting
@Kid_Legend_4_Life4 жыл бұрын
5:07 im just mad he used the loot whole thing from Destiny 1 😂😂 Man the memories of that game This video is really relatable btw, can you do one on social anxiety plz 🙃
@kuskie38164 жыл бұрын
Max: Bread and ___ me: "Water!"
@non12634 жыл бұрын
I read this before that part came up and you influenced me.
@jordan59734 жыл бұрын
It is bread and water not bread and butter.
@Caxen4 жыл бұрын
Janie-Marie I said bread and toast lol no idea why
@TheDiamondHammer4 жыл бұрын
lol, the first thing that came to my mind was 'salad'
@BrockLee34 жыл бұрын
In my mind: "Bread and...peanut butter...honey...jelly...jam...BUTTER...water! Oh, yeah! It's bread and butter." It was like Family Fued was going on inside my head, and the Number One Answer is: "Bread and Butter." I don't know if I should be worried about the whole family living in my head, giving me different answers until ONE of them gave the answer which I agreed with.
@knoxlisa96813 жыл бұрын
I've suffered from panic attacks. My heart races I can't breathe iget shaky. At first t thought I was headed for a heart attack. But actually it was a symptom of gad.. Generalized anxiety disorder. I've had this sinse my mother passed away. I'm OK when I'm with people. But when I'm alone the anxiety returns. And twice as bad.
@immameatpopsicle98254 жыл бұрын
Watching this, has a light therapeutic effect on me....
@podgrrrl62902 жыл бұрын
Oh my god. There is no hope for me but, my kids...there's no help available for them where we live and they deserve help.
@B_B_4 жыл бұрын
oh god, now I'm just remembering how badly I shake when I have to stand and present in front of a crowd. even if I did well, I just know everyone saw how terrified and shaky I was the whole time 😥
@IlovanNicolae4 жыл бұрын
Ouch I feel attacked :)). Thank you for putting in words how i think and feel.
@starchildone48714 жыл бұрын
I have severe anxiety and depreession for almost 10 years. I can give you only one advice: THINK 20 TIMES BEFORE YOU START TAKING XANAX (or any benzodiazepam). It can make hell out of your life even though u thought it already was
@ratto95083 жыл бұрын
I have GAD and I'm a borderline alcoholic. I can't take it anymore. Drink is the only thing that numbs the constant, endless fear.. I wish I could stop. I'm not dangerously alcoholic, I don't get blind drunk. But I drink too much, and I really wish I could stop.
@Tabby34564 жыл бұрын
Me: *answers a question, and gets it wrong* oh noe, i'm being judge Kids in the back of the classroom: A Class I have no intrest in... I-funny time! *puts on earbuds*
@MorroWolf3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing.
@arizonaoc59914 жыл бұрын
Watching this while pooping
@maxderrat4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the good news!
@awsumpchits4 жыл бұрын
Keep us updated, we're here for the lore
@agosesco71344 жыл бұрын
Dude same!!
@arizonaoc59914 жыл бұрын
@@awsumpchits well I had some carne asada fries last night so I'm taking a FAT SHIT right now. Pretty sure I'm about to clog the toilet and I haven't even started wiping but I'll keep you updated
@Hein1224 жыл бұрын
shit, me too.
@walterwang46693 жыл бұрын
When you mentioned bread and [ ] I said DEAD out loud. I should be a fuckin poet
@kcninetales59733 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I didn't pay much attention to that part, so that was the first thing that came to mind LOL
@ajxx99873 жыл бұрын
Useful vid as always
@AkaiNabi4 жыл бұрын
8.30 min foward this is me, spot on. I never had a chance to being normal. :/
@TheDistortion934 жыл бұрын
"You deserve to be happy...." Yes, I would assume so, but apparently that's not the case. 26 Years of dumb suffering that was only made worse by the stupidity of the people around me; I am unable to recall the last time I was happy. The world is a shitty concept, people are dumb beyond believe and I will continue to hope that I will simply not wake up the next morning.
@EXchange014 жыл бұрын
There is good solitude and bad solitude
@anjachan2 жыл бұрын
I probably had it, maybe still have it. Maybe I can control my emotions better now.
@Kid_Legend_4_Life4 жыл бұрын
Can you do a social anxiety video :)
@dopeesoulTheGamerMom36604 жыл бұрын
Iam clincly diagnosed. I agree iam still trying to cope.. I felt like I didnt belong "here"
@vedrannikolic42784 жыл бұрын
Also some people use videogames and generally being a dick to vent of anxiety etc. That way they can develop echo chambered dump into everything mindset. Also you can simply solve sleeping issues by running 2-4km at the end of the day or anyone during the day
@victor_silva61424 жыл бұрын
There is raped children. Women and kids who get beat and mistreated by the ones that should be their caretaker With such a amount of suffering in the world one can wonder if anxiety isn't some biological defense mechanism for something wrong with the mind?
@malevoseth2 жыл бұрын
thank you
@JakeTvisterOfficial4 жыл бұрын
I was convincing myself that I was misdiagnosed because whats describe here fits well with how I reflect and penalize myself. Then again, I don't believe that I got GAD.