The TRUTH behind YOUR attraction to narcissists

[@sushmayen]

They'll act all goody and empathetic in the beginning to ensnare you. Once they're done with you they show real cruel self.

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

They sure do. They act kind, supportive, and understanding until you say no to them in enacting a boundary and also when you get in the way of something they really want. When the mask slips, it's horrifying - the rage, vindictiveness, cruelty, sadistic behavior and absolutely no concern for you in any way.

[@ruthslater6364]

100 %.

[@rachelcarson9967]

So true.

[@TrevorHamberger]

I've gotten so good at spotting them that I can find them before they do the crazy behavior.

[@J.F611]

Please share your secrets!!​@@TrevorHamberger

[@christelleny]

The simple fact that they CAN turn it on and off is THE proof that they KNOW what they're doing (to us) and it's 💯% intentional. The minute you understand that is the minute you stop making excuses for them and you start looking at your relationship differently. We don't deserve the short end of the stick---nor should we settle for it!!! Peace and growth to all. ❤

[@nickhughes4862]

It's so true; the radical acceptance of realisation helped me understand & overcome the misplaced sense of loss. Subsequently I have found a better life for myself without her toxicity.

[@LOVEISTRUTH300]

🎯 Sending LOVE to you💖💖💖

[@biondna7984]

Well said.

[@cathytai]

From my hard learned lesson: if you want to love help or save anyone, make it a shelter dog or cat. They won't use, abuse, gaslight, threaten or turn on you.

[@VMorgenthaler-yp6yz]

Yes, don’t help people. Human beings are the most difficult species to help. They’ll fight you every step of the way. A dog or cat or possum or raccoon react from fear but eventually accept being saved. People will harm you while you try to help them. I don’t understand it. That’s just how it is.

[@yolondagoode9656]

My first Christmas in 16;years without being with the sociopath narc I was entangled with! The best I ever had! So glad I finally left,Christmas alone,no drama,no gaslighting,no sabotaging al I do ,this is the best gift Peace.

[@619WWEFAN]

Same ❤️ Parts of November and early December, the stress and anxiety was so intense cause I wasn’t sure to risk meeting family for Xmas despite all the problems and drama After testing the waters early December I realized, nope not worth it. For a few days the grief was hard, but then afterwards I started enjoying Xmas vibes and feeling happy ❤️ Life is much easier without a negative cloud hovering over you. The peace and relaxation last couple weeks, doing things I enjoy without pressure, and not having to do things I hate? It’s truly amazing ❤️😁

[@lees7340]

Me too. My divorce was finalized a week before Thanksgiving. This is the first holiday season in last 20 years I am not being lied to, dealing with dramas or left at home alone with the meals I cooked while he disappeared or sneaked out to go celebrate with his affair partner or at gatherings that I am not invited/welcomed.

[@mardimagoo7065]

"It's not empathy, it's theatre." Yes ma'am! 💯

[@danifern7003]

They're the victim always a good person. Because they treat people outside their relationships better than the people they're in a relationship with

[@jeff-h7i9v]

Facts! Just ended my relationship do to it.

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

Man, this is so true.

[@PassionateFlower]

Yes they will triangulate with anyone or anything. They'd triangulate you with a pet rock if they had to. "Well at least Melvin the Rock doesn't seem to have a problem with the way I am. You're the one who has an issue. Melvin, you know you are my special rock, right?"

[@christelleny]

​@@PassionateFlowerHilarious! (and so true!!!)

[@yolowell9564]

They’re always the good guy!! 🤮

[@carolannhuber]

My ex would bring my elderly neighbor’s trash cans up after trash pick up every week. We had another neighbor that he would always help with computer problems or his car problems. But treated me horribly when I would (have to) remind him to take our trash out or clean or pool. He got so mad one time he told me it was my job to clean the toilets and he was never doing it again. He would find vets and help them paint their house or build bikes for children. At home never fixed anything, even though most of the time he broke it in a rage. Evil just plain fake, but my neighbors think he is amazing. Best guy ever.

[@shellysawchuk1190]

Yes the the people around us he would help others telling them how bad i was. To him and help them some more so they would turn on me and the kids

[@carolannhuber]

Yes! Same here now that we’re divorced they never speak to me. My ex still comes over to MY next door neighbor and I will see them shaking hands and hugging. And my neighbor knows he went to jail for assaulting me. Bizarre!

[@shellysawchuk1190]

@carolannhuber he's just watching you i had to dump my Facebook because he was coming in the back door to watch me and the kids so after I dumped it these years later my daughter creaped on his Facebook which he stopped using his 2 months after I dumped mine he could watch me anymore

[@shellysawchuk1190]

He hasn't talked to his kids in 11 years

[@realhealing7802]

Yes indeed! It's all an act. Narcissistic parents faked out everybody to get liked, but treated me like a garbage can.

[@CenterWomen4B]

I love having a narc-free holiday. Best gift ever!

[@victoriavictoria8074]

Ditto🤩 I felt such a sense of bliss yesterday; spending time in peace, gratitude, prayer🤩

[@crystalbirch298]

I love how Dr. Ramani educates us and shares her spicy insights regarding the audacity of the narcissist. By sharing her disdain of their behavior, she gives comfort for us in the experience. Thanks, Doc ❤

[@queenqueen977]

Doctor armani😂 are you sure it wasn't dr gucci

[@M_SC]

She really does.

[@M_SC]

@@queenqueen977make it make sense

[@crystalbirch298]

@@queenqueen977 Noted. Rapid typing and not spell checking. Her advice though is fashionably respected ☺️

[@LOVEISTRUTH300]

She's great💖💖💖 a true blessing in my life💖

[@youngblood8540]

"Hark, the Herald Angels sing". Merry Christmas! A wolf in sheep's clothing, is an enemy disguised as a friend. Watch out for people coming towards you, smiling with their hands behind their back.(They might be hiding something). Because not everyone that smiles, has good intentions.

[@sherrijones6605]

Friend-enemy - Frenamie

[@sparkygump]

Wolves have more empathy then any narc I've come across.

[@Michael-vp9gs]

As a historian, I like how you are pulling in historical perspectives.

[@glennmarz652]

IN THIS LIFE, DO NOT LET YOUR GUARD DOWN FOR ANYTHING.

[@francoisgouws7288]

And say much less

[@montanagal6958]

thank you

[@mytruthbekind5793]

No. Be very selective in who you trust. Trust must be earned. I understand why you say this. There are trustworthy people but it takes time and patience to find them.

[@biondna7984]

I agree with all this. The hard part is getting anyone to open their eyes when they absolutely DON'T want to see.

[@kriskaymusic2]

Idk where or who I would be in life without you honestly you saved my life & I’m so thankful for all your work it literally has kept me alive & from going crazy I can’t thank you enough Merry Christmas 🎁

[@FairyFire111]

Your words are gold....I wish I knew sooner not to fall for their "help" or not to justify their actions (humiliation, belittling,cruelty, manipulation, guilt trip,)after their "help".

[@EmmaR.2024]

We do need to teach our children about this topic. It's so important especially nowadays when young people can fall for someone they think is amazing & it's a trafficking trap. May sound like a stretch, but it's not. For those of us who've been in a relationship with a narc or have had family members in our lives (past tense because hopefully there's distance now if not no contact), we know the lure, the flips, and the abuse. Dr. Ramani's content should be in our public schools (age appropriate level obviously) instead of some of the useless stuff (or confusing stuff) being taught to our children. The holidays are extra difficult this year. Thank you, Dr. R for your wisdom, insight, and sharing this today.

[@MichelleSlater-r2z]

Agreed 100% These toxic personalities should be brought to light. Knowledge is power AND protection.

[@aliceroberts1980]

That what I work at educating my daughter about these people. She grew up with a narcissistic father and once you’ve been in it, you don’t know what they’re doing. What happened to me 35 years of abuse I don’t ever want this to happen to my daughter or anybody else everybody needs to know about this they need to teach it in school. These people are evil

[@texannadeb5005]

I think they should teach how to recognize red flags, how to develop healthy boundaries and how to build self confidence in jr high and high school. I think it would’ve done me some good, in spite of my psyche already damaged from being born into the family of a raging, violent, malignant narcissist.

[@pragmaticpoet]

I often consider how Victorian culture classic novels and vampire mythos has basically been about humanity sorting out attempting to underatand and forwarn😊 about narcissists,

[@lorenebaxter-e8c]

I am so thankful that I was able to quietly assist the Lead Pastor and some of the Deacons a year ago about the wolf in sheep's clothing roaming around my church with a lot of elderly. They knew he was a bit off and were frustrated and shared 'he thinks he's always right' or would go off and attack them during a discussion. This person knows I saw through him a year ago when his mask came off and knows he can't intimidate me and ironically, is actually a bit sheepish around me now. Interesting to see he now enters the sanctuary when the lights are dimmed before service and leaves before they come back on. What he doesn't know is that the Pastor and Deacons have been made aware in order to protect the flock.

[@MistyJackson-Nau]

Today is my birthday (Merry Christmas too!) and watching this is like a present to myself! I’m newly divorced and this narcissistic stuff is so immersed in my life. This understanding that there’s a world of narcissistic stuff is like a welcomed head explosion and enlightening me to pass this on to educate my 13 year old son.

[@M_SC]

Happy birthday and welcome to your enlightened life

[@Mslegend73]

Happy Birthday to you!! ❤ mine was yesterday! 12/24

[@positvgal8]

Happy Birthday Birthday people 🎉😊

[@steveanhiron6764]

Happy joy healthy birthday wishes to Misty

[@Lulu-Godsbeloved]

Happy Birthday 🎂🎂🎂 (and Merry Christmas 🎄🎁)

[@bridgettetraveler658]

Thank u Dr. Ramani! I truly appreciate u, for teaching so many ppl about narcissistic ppl. Narcissistic ppl are destroying this world with their trickery. So many good ppl have been destroyed by these evil ppl! Many of us grew up in narcissistic homes. Chaos became the norm for us. We don't realize until later that we deserve better. Thank u again Dr. Ramani!!!

[@sherrijones6605]

They do not have a right to disrespect another human being. I hear everything you are saying and I agree

[@PaigeSquared]

Exactly. Even if the "victim" stance is valid, it does *not* justify any additional boundary violations. Two wrongs do not ever make a right, harming another person will not bring the first wounding any closer to being healed. Proper restitution helps the situation move forward, and would not create more damage. Being hurt ourselves is not a "good enough" reason to hurt someone else. Unfortunately, some people do not go that "deep." 😮‍💨

[@acasyd]

Dr Ramini, merry Christmas 🎄 Believe me when I say you not only shed a small light on narcissism you are the bright shining light at the end of what has been a very long tunnel of darkness. Thank you ❤

[@nickhughes4862]

I had this for 19 years, after which I was unceremoniously discarded. Dr. Ramani, you have helped me through this debacle. Thank you.

[@dcikaruga]

They're very superficial though, actually I'd say people are in general, but the major clue I noticed with narcissists is that they're really shallow. They lack depth, depends on the conversation, but on certain subjects, they just can't go into detail and it gives away how dull they really are, the lack of reflection, introspection, even deluded, magical thinking shows, a certain child-like naivety about them. All you have to do is seperate yourself from how they can make you feel, and just pay more attention, and you'll actually see a dull person behind that facade.

[@francoisgouws7288]

They are not interested in anything you have to say if it doesn't involve praise and attention!

[@HopelessAutistic]

That’s almost the millennial generation (born after 1981 and before 1996) That’s talking about my ol classmates. They’re so emotionally unavailable.

[@dcikaruga]

@@francoisgouws7288 Oh yeah, I'd say that top of this list to spot them out. You try to tell them something and it's like in one ear and out the other, even worse, sometimes they even switch off. Even had one woman who got up and just walked away, completely disrespectufl. She was pretty nasty afterwards too, set me up for date then make feeble excuses on the day when I contacted her.

[@dcikaruga]

Oh yeah, I'd say that top of this list to spot them out. You try to tell them something and it's like in one ear and out the other, even worse, sometimes they even switch off. Even had one woman who got up and just walked away, completely disrespectufl. She was pretty nasty afterwards too, set me up for date then make feeble excuses on the day when I contacted her.

[@Nk66222]

Thank you for all that you do Dr. Ramani ❤

[@MicahAngelOfficial]

It takes strength to speak up and hold people accountable for abusive behavior in today’s world. Thank you for your work, Dr. Ramani. This information is invaluable.

[@divinepawn8876]

Some so-called spiritual experts might dismiss your work as 'ego' or confuse it with a pursuit of being a KZbin superstar. But in truth, you are a genuine channel for this vital knowledge. The world deeply needs your voice and the incredible impact you're making. Thank you for your impressive Life-service!

[@Michael-vp9gs]

Never trust a spiritual leader who attacks or undermines your ego. Your ego is a gift from G-d; which allows you to understand that you are in a relationship with G-d.

[@Pamela-k5u]

Merry Christmas!! I fell for performative empathy last year. Gifts mean nothing after the damage they do. The good news is this Christmas is much better. Have a great day!!

[@Eve144M]

We ARE NOT ALONE, the new season is here.❤😮😊

[@pattijacobs5740]

Dr. Ramani, I am impressed and amazed at how so totally you understand narcissism! I've been following you for a while now. I am hugely empathic and have been wounded by narcissists my entire life, beginning with my mother. I have always struggled with feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. I've been lucky to have had some good therapists (from age 16 to now at 71). They are the reason I'm still around. But no one has understood narcissism as well as you! Thank you so much for all your posts! You are helping me really heal! 💖

[@kryssysmith1486]

I couldn't attend my grandmother's funeral, but a cousin shared what happened. The man who raised me finally 'broke down' in what seemed like crocodile tears. She mentally told herself, 'I'm done with you.' At the same funeral, he audaciously berated someone he barely knew. How disrespectful must one be to show performative empathy at a funeral? If he were truly 'smart'-and I use that term loosely-he would have stayed away altogether.

[@Néerlandais-p1q]

Dr Ramani and Dr Carter are the best

[@gingerfication3375]

Merry Christmas, thank you for your gift of insight.

[@kimberleyshott8970]

Dr. Ramani, you are a Gift❤

[@Julie-bj9jn]

Merry Christmas, Dr. Ramani, and all. I've been reading these shared stories, about the common behaviors of cruel, and destructive people. These compilations of similar behaviors, may help so many to avoid becoming close with Cluster B personalities in the future. 🎄 Cheers to a better life ahead!

[@homefryniles3983]

Dr Ramani's teachings are, to me, the psychological truth that is missing in history books that document human civilization from the beginning of time.

[@NarcissismLesson]

This video is really great! Deep, clear and valuable analysis, helping me understand more about the psychology and behavior of narcissists. To anyone reading this article, if narcissists want to harm you, you need to be alert in relationships, whether it is relatives or strangers, like relatives or cousins, there are people like that, you need to be more alert than strangers. The content is worth pondering! 👏

[@nunafair]

Dr. Please make a content about a convert and cerebral narcissist. I met a person that at first talked about me being “as smart as him” and in less than a week he was talking about how society is not elevated enough to like his art and not elevated enough because they dont read as much as him.

[@chelseahilbun5678]

First!!!! Merry Christmas! Thank you for your videos ... Hoping someday I'm strong enough to actually freaking listen

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

Yes. It's so confusing to be physically, emotionally and sexually abused, stand up to the abuser, make them leave only to have them become caring, wanting to help you with things and buy you gifts. The gift giving made me very uncomfortable - a lot of alarm and anxiety. I couldn't trust the gifts. Why abuse then turn around and pretend to be nice?

[@lynnebucher6537]

To suck you back in for another cycle of devaluation and abuse.

[@paolabustamante9512]

Thank you so so much for your ongoing unique guidance. Much Light and Love to you on this holiday season. 💫🌠 I feel kind of shameful that I fell last Saturday to a narcissist I used to date and proved his rage that turned on him as he hurt himself. The good thing is that it was the very last time I will see him.

[@melissam.6054]

@23 minutes onward: spot-on description of the Performative Covert Narc who I broke up with yesterday. .... got fooled by thinking all his performative acts of helping others was a reflection of his Christian faith. Nope -- you nailed it, Dr Ramani, it's all a show. But privately, dating slowly revealed his spirit of arrogance & superiority as he shared his criticisms of others with me, then later began making passive-aggressive mocking verbal jabs at me. I firmly but respectfully brought all this to his attention on Monday & Tuesday using voice message texts so he can't twist my words or use his exaggerated excuse ("We've been on many dates; I don't remember EVERYTHING yiu say!"), as I politely explained my boundaries: "Without communication, there can be no intimacy that builds a relationship; without respect, love cannot grow; without trust and safety that you're not going to subject me to one of your passive-aggressive put-downs, there is no point continuing to get to know each other."

[@yolondagoode9656]

Merry Christmas everyone ! 🎁

[@OGRocker1]

"Don't date them" and whatever you do, don't make my mistake and marry them and then grow old with them... it get's worse with age, trust me.... 44yrs experience. NEVER GETS BETTER ! ... I would leave if I could.... not so easy in your seventies.

[@debbylee6329]

I left after 45 years of marriage. It has not been easy these last 7 years but better than living the way I was. You are spot on, they get worse with age. Until you can get away, hold onto yourself! Do NOT allow your narc to take you completely away from yourself. It is so much harder to get away in our 70's. Please keep a support person in your life and never give up. Some day it will end as nothing lasts forever as forever is a long, long time. God bless you and stay strong as he can't take or break your spirit!!

[@montanagal6958]

Abuse feels like love when abused from birth.

[@jenniferwingo5430]

Dr. Ramini you are a godsend for sharing your education. These videos changed my life and helped me reach radical acceptance. These toxic relationships change you but theres ways to channel the grief into something positive. You gain incredible discernment and insight. Your not cynical...your a realist..

[@ACH-t2z]

Yes, Dr Ramani if you could inform everyone why it is not healthy for society to celebrate me that would be awesome!!! Keep up the good work.!! Please buy Dr Ramani's book to learn why we should not put our collective support behind someone who does not appreciate entertainment industry opportunities

[@kkryz]

I was thinking about that saying to look for the helpers. Those could be communal narcissists. Have experienced. Good to be discerning.

[@CafeLiang]

21:27 the part about performative empathy and real empathy hit home for me! I have been confused by performative empathy for soooo long. It made me think the narcissist is a good person so I thought their bad behaviors were just their flaw, and they didn't mean to harm me. I'm so thankful you made it clear what true empathy is. And I'd say none of the narcissistic people I met have it!

[@HealingJourney-VersLaGuerison]

Whenever I watch one of your videos, I'm telling to myself "waouh it's the best video I've ever seen about narcissism!" Thank you so much Dr. Ramani for sharing this knowledge. It helps feeling validated and remove or at least reduce the enabling culture around and within us. From my experience, they tend to often be interested in professions or activity where they can perform or be under the spotlight. Most of those I dealt with were/are in fashion related activities... Of course I don't believe everybody in fashion is a narcissist, but now whenever I meet someone and hear "fashion", my eyes are wider opened!

[@Eve144M]

Yes you are divine and so are we❤😊

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

Aesop’s fables is my bible. I really enjoyed this video going to go over the notes. Ty Dr Ramani, And everyone’s comments!!

[@ultimatesilly9513]

My one eyed person was my manager who was truly judgmental. once we started seeing each other and becoming intimate, I realized that it truly was not a good thing but by then it was too late. There were so many lies and secrets and I just realized that everything I thought of him before turned out to be right sadly

[@johnmaggiorino4493]

Yes true....26 years back fell in the trap....wanted to rescue her😢

[@KittyQueenMeow]

Thank you for highlighting that critical bit how many in our society do give free passes to horrid narcissists who hurt and intentionally harm so many because they are “geniuses”, super wealthy etc, and how this in turn normalizes and excuses their harm. So many in our past and now parading about in the media, in our very midst! The ultimate Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing but in elevated social, business and political positions 😱😵👿

[@Jwcounselor77]

Dr. Ramani, you have literally saved my life in so many ways. I’ve waited 16 years for the wolf to change. I nearly lost my life after his infidelity that I caught that he blamed me for. He gas lights me all the time making himself the victim. His lover in New York is still waiting for him to come back after discarded me. Life lesson learned.

[@minervazamora6278]

That was me , I wanted that FAIRY TELL relationship TO BE TRUE, I see myself in everything your saying, an yeah, emotionally I still feel alittle unstable, it been 20 days now since I've been on my own, away from him, you make me feel strong Dr, Ramani, thank you ❤

[@mariehughey5390]

My ex was performative in empathy, charisma, and competence. When we were alone together he was completely unable to be a companion to me. Could not consider my feelings or be bothered with conversation. I was alone in that relationship. When family and friends were around he was the perfect host, the quintessential uncle. Of course when I left him, I was the problem. It took me years to figure things out.

[@OmaiNetwork]

I’m the one-eyed person by definition, but I’m not a NARC nor dark, I simply support others as I tell them or connect them to what I “see” as much as they will allow or I just quietly keep learning and growing on my own without telling the world!

[@beverlyadams7205]

I haven’t watched this video, but I needed to share anyway. A successfully made it through Thanksgiving and now Christmas by myself without my family. I’m really proud of this because I used to be so abused by my family. I didn’t know how I’d make it through the holidays, but actually The holidays were peaceful and calm and stress-free for the first time ever. Thank you, Dr.Ramani!❤

[@Thunder-lightning852]

Knowledge is power,they sucked all the energy out of you,left you wounded, time will heal your wounds, grow stronger, self reflect, understand it’s not your job to try to fix the narcissist, which is impossible. learn to love yourself.

[@gb2556]

Merry Christmas! Note on my boss… a very manipulative person. No empathy at all! Apparently she is a coach and has people driving her second business of helping people. What I’ve seen from the woman is beyond scary. Narcissists wear many at masks.

[@antoniasachtleben]

Don't ever passively go along with leadership. - Thank you, I need to hear this right now as our family wealth is just about to go down the drain...

[@Eve144M]

Wow, thank you Dr Ramani, you are amazing and right on time❤❤❤333

[@alicegharibjanians1449]

Dear Dr Ramani, thank you for all these amazingly helpful videos. I learn from them and share it with others. Your care and guidance is very genuine, honest and comes from your heart, that why your words of wisdom sits right with us. My best wishes and more blessings of good health, happiness and prosperity in this holiday season. ❤️ 🙏

[@steveanhiron6764]

So glad we have Dr Ramani ‘s wisdom to learn from . I am eternally grateful .

[@jeanie4703]

Thanks for putting this up over Xmas, 🙏

[@HouseRavensong]

I would say there are two applications of empathy. Most of us (with the exception of psychopathy) have an awareness of other people's states. The depths of this awareness is likely linked to how much we have suffered. Rumi wrote: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” The path diverges because the Narcissist learned (because they learned to hate themselves) to take the 'dark path'. They use this awareness to manipulate others in order to protect themselves from potential, imagined hurts. I've seen the terms 'dark empath' and I think it is synonymous with narcissist. The narcissist then uses performance empathy to wrap themselves in "sheep's clothing" and those who chose the 'light path', people who despite their sufferings learned to love themselves, fall prey to the illusion thinking they are aligning themselves with other similar souls. Having been raised by a 'Communal' narcissist, I can tell you that we all fall prey to the wolves in our midst, and I think that wisdom comes from recognizing what happened, what our role was in what happened, and deciding not to play with those types in the future.

[@shellysawchuk1190]

He was so nice and helpful to everyone he would fix your car your truck play with other people's kids help the elderly people in the community but his kids would be sitting on the side of the road instead of letting them to play with the kids he was playing with i was doing the yard the house till late in the night so everything was perfect but in the house was no talking till he got what he wanted putting me down and srings were on everything then telling the people around how i wouldn't let him do anything go anywhere with out him so they would treat me bad like he did too

[@Michael-vp9gs]

This is why there needs to be: Standards, Tests, Inspections, and Examanations. No one wants a Rat Meat Burger; but given the chance, the Narcissist will serve one up; while calling it a free range bison burger.

[@8cgray]

This is your most intuitive video yet, and your work is always enlightening. Thank you

[@eugetesta5847]

Nailed it. Thanks 🥰🙌🏼

[@joeyfigueroa4748]

Well, it’s because they aren’t empathetic or loving that they know how to use love so well as a tool. Same in reverse, some of the people that can push people away the best have the biggest hearts.

[@luismiguel69able]

That is why I have no idea if I am the narcissist or the supply!

[@francoisgouws7288]

The fact that you're asking the question implies you are not the narcissist

[@a.m.126]

I read somewhere that if someone is a very powerful narcissist or worse, they can make their victim sick, like a wolf catching a rabbit, but let's say I'm not a rabbit, I can still show rabbit symptoms because the wolf eats the rabbit. Actually, it's better without them. Whether I clear my mind or fight through the journey. Both are good solutions. Actually, there were fewer such types in the past.

[@melissahurst1196]

Free passes? Hell no!!! So incredibly grateful for your efforts to expand understanding & lead such a charge. Kudos!!!

[@Michael-vp9gs]

There are reasons why the best person for being a principal of a school is someone who used to be a coach.

[@MicheleLHarvey]

Performative Empathy! My husband gets up & does the dishes at dinner parties! Whereas at home I've begged him for years to just get his dirty dishes into the sink & garbage into the trash. Performative? You betcha!

[@krislindemann3277]

My faher used to tell us for years that he was once planting a tree in the village. 😅 So many possibilities to comment today 😅

[@eniggma9353]

Dear Dr Ramani, Merry Krishnas to you and your family.

[@yvar.3483]

So many examples of "generous gifts" are popping up in my head... One that stands out to me because it was particularly hurtful is the following: I gave birth to my second child. Mother in law came to stay with the older child. Two weeks after the birth she turned sixty and threw a big very active party (with hiking and a bird show and several culinary stations along). My child was wrapped to my body and I attended all of these activities (when also had to travel quite a distance there). A few weeks later she was very angry that she doesn't see her grandchildren! And that after all she for us during the birth time of the second child. I was so hurt from the disrespect against a family that just recently grew larger by another little human and the time they need to grow together.

[@kimberleyhartley6631]

True Dr. Ramani. The proverb you mentioned, in the land of the blind the one- eyed man is king. I have heard this saying from older persons. I had seen this scenario in the workplace from the older worker who is set in their ways, and does not like the younger new management. Oh yes, there is a lot of deception and desensitizing from them in front of the group, though behind the scenes they are manipulative.

[@alexugur]

My contribution to all this was to have disastrously low or non existent personal boundaries. Both intimately and in business I'd let people walk all over me. Having now learnt to identify and express my boundaries (likes, dislikes, and No-no's) I've learnt to walk away from abusive relationships. However, in recent years I've found myself in an overly controlling and abusive relationship with government from which one cannot walk away. Now my social and personal ideal is to be an ungovernable person working voluntarily in community, ...even at risk of becoming a bit of an outlaw.

[@ScarletAlchemist888]

Merry Christmas and blessings to you from the Cosmic!

[@lizmadura777]

Yes... they are this, that, and the other. Very very attractive. Im a sucker for these people. Sad, but true.

[@mlcarey1000]

Me too. But I've now turned into a cynic, always looking for red flags.

[@sonjab6127]

thank you for this video in particular, Dr Ramani. All of your work has helped me to understand how to navigate this world while trying my hardest to be as empathic as possible. I had an incident with a well known Canadian artist who showed his true narcissistic personality. Recognizing this is helping me to let go - although it is extremely disappointing to see the truth when his poetry and music are so great in calibre.

[@a.m.126]

I am not attracted to them. In fact, I was and am perfectly fine without them. They have this delusion that I belong to them, which is not true. This creates a feeling of captivity. I had borderline symptoms because of them, but my way of thinking was not borderline at all; I am a completely different personality. The feeling of captivity was a symptom, that they had nothing to do with me, but I was already talking to the air because they were constantly imposing these phantom realities on me. They are attracted to me, they directly latch onto our algorithms. See imitation, they figure out what we think or say and then they dive into the topic, enclosing it like a room. There were times when they pushed me out of my life, claiming that they were the ones there. Then I continued elsewhere and fought in the air because I felt like I had no place on Earth because the whole world belonged to them.

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

Why I quit being intimate (sexually) in my 40s . I’m in my late 60s now. I lose myself and I get mean! I stopped dating new dudes in my 30s.. like wtf is wrong with me? It’s my boundaries! I get lost easily. No doubt due to early childhood sexual abuse. I have had a very close intimate friend for years till his death. But we weren’t sexual. Best friend I ever had though.

[@bubbasparks5465]

You are a wonderful writer

[@Marta-v1p3y]

I used to call my long term ex fiancé a drama queen, show man/poser..now I also get a few other behaviours like gifts..trickster, liar and I thought at that time that I must be going insane ..each time I tried to analyse what has actually happened..The amount of hoovering me back into hell was countless too eventually I changed the cities but I think that the scarring stays with us for life and it makes us more prone to other traumas and dangerous personalities. I can admit that he successfully destroyed part of me.

[@krislindemann3277]

On top of a narcissistic mother I had the wolve in my bedroom who looked like my father. What a horrific combination to survive in. I'm wondering if that is a "common combination" in narcissistic parents.

[@justhere5881]

My actual husband became the one eyed just because, I think, everyone around me was desiring me to find a man, a good man to take care of me (like in clasical cinema), as if i needed him. Even me, I could say, i was kind of desring it too. The thing is, despite my instinct told me from the very beginning to refuse him, all his wonderful social appareance and all our blindness about real love let us fall easily down into his tricks, so that in the blink of an eye he became my husband and the king for several years in our lives. Fortunately, thanks to you, Dr. Ramani, i can finally see clear what happened and what i can do to live, as much as posible, in indefference towards him and his already predictible tricks

[@rascallyrabbit]

this is a very good look on you.

[@helenwashington6212]

Yep , I experienced that but that one eye person will have that eye on someone who can see through it and you might become public enemy .

[@krislindemann3277]

I have a neighbor and i shared my garden harvest with her this summer. She gave me really good spices in return and now, when Christmas approached I suddenly felt obligated to give, but it didn't feel right anymore. Somehow it felt like an invisible expectation from her side or it was just my own expectation of myself. Anyway, not giving anymore feels freeing to me. Like the allowance to choose every time anew.

[@Thedisgardedoptimist]

More and more all the world's a stage and there's a helluva lot of actors...

[@anthonyhirst3940]

Stay healthy and look forward to your 2025 podcasts you provide a great service ❤

[@pupchubs6301]

Thanks for speaking about narcissism in academia

[@kriskaymusic2]

This is the best Christmas gift I could’ve gotten today as usual on point to the T 🎯🎯

Dr. Ramani. You and Elon Musk have something In common.. Your launching the great knowledge of Narcissism to the world.. The world needs to take possession of this knowledge.. Let mankind continue it's slow walk towards a better tomorrow.. A civilized World that all should strive to.. The keepers of light that others can navigate by... 34

[@CarolPattrick]

Yes, yes, yes! Never fully understood that. Thank you.