The Value of YOU. | Trista Sutter | TEDxVail

In today’s world, judgment is a part of our reality. It happens on the street, online, at work, at home, and worst of all...in our own minds. With her experience in the public eye and as a mom, Trista Sutter discusses our value system and how we allow judgment and societal success get in the way of our self-worth.
Trista Sutter, a familiar name in the world of reality television, now lives her happily ever after as a stay-at-home-and-work mom near Vail, Colorado with the poetic firefighter she met on the first season of The Bachelorette and their beautiful blessings, Max (8), Blakesley (6), and fur babies, Tank and Sophie. She's authored "Happily Ever After: The Life-Changing Power of a Grateful Heart."
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@wellbodisalone]

Great message! "Be grateful for the gifts you bring; be grateful for the life you lead." 🎯

[@taurahelms3068]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay home with your children. I don't understand why people are so hard on women who want to stay home.

[@chrisv5942]

Wow...what she said is so true..."If you've said to yourself or others that.. I am just a (fill in the blank)...Instead of protecting yourself you are the one holding the hammer that is chipping away at your own self-worth. And that is a hammer that you can control. "

[@gigglyme2001]

This made me cry because my sister is a stay at home mom with a one and a half year old and she is one of the hardest working people I know yet some of her husbands side of the family don't value being a mom as much as money and high profiled jobs. I will share this with her to let her know she's not alone.

[@lagarduza5600]

gigglyme2001 please let her know I don't know her but there's nothing more amazing than giving your life to another human without wanting nothing more than love and smily faces 🙂💞

[@carmensierra3935]

gigglyme2001 that seems to be an epidemic! i am a stay at home mom and seen as "lazy" or underachieving because i am not actively in the workforce though i was.... mothers are being told to" not ruin their opportunities" or "sell your own life short" "CHILDREN DO FINE IN DAYCARE " all lies. children do not excell in daycare and even develop emotional attachment issues creating failed adult relationships. my career was never what made my heart Twitter about and WHAT INSANITY IS THIS? what animal has offspring and leaves it unattended with strangers of the same species day in and out losing years of moments and time that could have spent together. you choose to keep that baby, that baby wants you, needs you, develops negatively without you! you decided to keep a child but want strangers to raise it, instilling their values and rules into them, and expect those children to still love you unconditionally when u get home? but wait! your tired when u get home! u just need a break and dinner isnt ready and the house is a mess now u have to pick that up too! not to mention stress from work playing around and aroubd in your mind plus the added office drama and take home assignments you have to finish... so tell me working moms, unless u find urself absolutely required tp work for survival....if you could stay home but fear what others might say or are terrified you might miss that big break ...for you... why did u have children? children thrive when parents are home and available to tend to their needs immediatly as it happens! research the effects on children of losing a stable parent in the home . understand most of the time u will get wirh your child u will be overextended and not present which is what that child needs. so u buy them stuff to keep them occupied but really they just want you and always will. being a parent meaning giving up the bright attention and focus on you, your life, your achievements and in return you give that to a child, dependent on you and affected by your every move, who sees u as the most lovely thing ro exist. that child needs you, and deserves to be honored and cared for the right way. no one can replace mom or dad. the relationship u develop with ur baby is all encompassing, loving, playful and no one says "stay home". Take those kids with you! take them out to explore and see the slights u always wanted too! take the moment of a child, best friend and little you, and use the time when theyre small to do all the things you wanted. see the grand canyon! or whatever too many people are unknowingly sending their children to my practice as a result of good intentions but not being present with their children. it hurts. its not the norm. motherhood is a beautiful journey with lifelong friends and shaping a life is nothing to scoff at "JUST A MOM?" how about "JUST A WOMAN WHO IS GRANTED THE HONOR OF SHAPING AND GUIDING THE NEXT GENERATION AND ITS UR JOB TO DO THE BEST U CAN SO THEY SUCCEED IN LIFE CREATING A SOCIETY OF HEALTHY HAPPY PEOPLE" THATS a hell of a title and id rather help shape the future one child at a time then pretend my work is somehow more meaningful then showing my child i love them.

[@Maxandtuckerthedogs]

I walk in those same shoes. I became a stay at home mom 1.5 years ago when my husband and I adopted our 11 month old little boy. I left a busy career as an Executive Assisstant in the medical field, to take on a full-time job that is hard, exhausting, a true test of ones patience, yet is the most rewarding, loving, and meaningful job I have ever done. I'am proud to call myself a stay at home mom and I feel truly blessed to be able to be present for not only all of my sons firsts, but to be a part of his learnings each and everyday, that will make him the kind, hardworking and respected man that his father and I hope he will become. You are a wonderful roll model Trista and a wonderful mother. Best of luck to your family! Your session was one of my favourites. AshleyOntario, Canada

[@sugarpop7377]

She is such a good speaker .

[@bonniebester606]

This made me want to cry

[@tickledpink4u]

I have been a stay at home mom for about 15 years and I have felt as you have. thank you for being so transparent!

[@sugarpop7377]

Wendy McRae Wendy , your job is the most important job that a woman can have : the shaping and nurturing of the next generation .

[@07231959942]

Thank you for being JUST an amazingly powerful speaker with JUST a remarkable delivery style! Blessing to you!

[@audreymedina6738]

I loved this so much Trista. After 18 years of working for the same company I am now taking time to be home with my two kids. There is no job that is as hard and as rewarding. I think you are a shining light and this was wonderful. :)

[@dancinggrandma2023]

I admire you Trista. You showed the world on national television how to consider the values of who would be the right person for you and through all the negativity, you showed them all how right you were. 17 years strong!!

[@sunnymonkey6182]

your genuine and kind heart is what I have admired. thank you so much for sharing your truth and encouraging us to do the same. you're a beautiful human being, woman, mother, etc....God Bless.

[@ommanipemahunglovebhutan3056]

Beautiful woman with beautiful family

[@SonyaLCH]

I love and admire Trista.

[@amylangera5978]

This was an amazing speech. Thank you Trista.

[@unzahid]

just powerful.

[@aliciacleeland2257]

Great speech Trista!

[@ernestmulenga3890]

Thank you so much. Am really inspired. From Zambia.

[@mimi7914]

full time mom is what it is and is an extremely important position

[@ksobolewski6]

Wonderful talk. Stay true to yourself, you are truly an inspiration!!!

[@sriharshaankathi1734]

That was one inspiring speech I have heard!! Just a mom word actually means "more than anything".. so ya be proud of yourself and stay happy

[@cedricburkhart3738]

Yeah just a mom all she does is take care of children want a the meeting job.😔 I mean they aren't worth it are they? She should take care of cars instead because they are more important.

[@carmensierra3935]

PAIN IN THE CHEST i felt a couple times there! so relatable and similar to my own life, my son even said to me the same thing. moms are the lucky people who get the chance to develop lifelong friendships, unconditional love, explore lifes richness and shape the minds and hearts of the next generation. that is a hell of a honor and i am so grateful i get to stay home with my son. to the women who sneered at my choice or made a comment about "what do you do all day" well i do what you dont, and i do what that stranger u pay does... i enjoy every moment, even the hard ones, knowing that these children see me as the best most beautiful person in the world and i am never forgotten, nor doubted, or put down by the little hearts who are so thankful to have me quit, and stay with them. moms come to me with the feminist "what about your life?" crap and i exclaim what about it? im doing exactly what i want and they need! those moms break down admitting their so guilty for being away and wished they were home more...or ashamed they work because they cant feel the connection they assume should be there and out of anger and shame avoid their children thinking anyone would be better then they, at least they can provide them with cool toys! stay at moms we are so lucky, despite how monotonous it can seem we have 1 life and not spending it with my kid isnt an option. get bored? go out! working moms, i was once you N i feel for you. research early childhood development, and be mindful and present with them so they know that when they need u, they wont be set aside for a phone call or paperwork. love patience and acceptance :)

[@picplay2]

Really beautiful, Trista. Very meaningful.

[@bonfer20]

Great! Really inspiring for all levels of life. Thank you and God bless!

[@kidrontirey2032]

We love you Trista! Great talk!

[@asksayantan6816]

You're amazing, a rockstar, thank you for helping us remove that 'just' from our identity. God bless you 🙏

[@zeghouanewafa5266]

Thank you Trista , you are amazing

[@kmangal01]

Thank you ❤️

[@rosalindphillips6950]

Love this Ted Talk. Forget about the haters...they are lashing out about how they feel about themselves.

[@kalchamplain174]

Awesome! Go girl!

[@respecthewoman]

That was really sweet, I always liked her and now I see why.... I think that any person who tells another human being esp. one they don't truly know to off themselves. Have a lot of spiritual growth to attend to. We are a nation who fight for being a bully to others and yet we are the biggest bullies of them all. In war, media and plain old commentary. How truly sad?

[@IWantToMature85]

Billie Edwards I hate that she had plastic surgery.

[@kristymagnuson5682]

You did great sharing your message. Loved how so real you are!

[@surakshashetty5343]

I got chills ❤️ lots of love !!! You truly are an inspiration !

[@cherylstolarick4239]

What an inspiration you are!!

[@samfrey8546]

This was so amazing & inspiring!! Thank-you for your true & inspiring words! Loved it!!

[@mariereilly9024]

Trista is not just a Mom to her children…she just mothered a whole lot of people into owning their roles as Moms. She is substantive, articulate, intelligent, hardworking, creative and honest. Way to go, Mama Sutter!

[@itsanewday9669]

A great Mom and a Awesome Public Speaker which btw I could never do!! Great Job @Tristasutter

[@junebreeze5620]

Thank GOD for stay at home mothers & fathers. Yes, you could work a traditional job; however, you have chosen to invest in your family! There will be plenty of time to work a traditional job, go back to school or pursue other goals. Blessings

[@mariatureganocabanero7921]

The talk that I needed, thanks for remember-me what is value ♥️.

[@77Tadams]

I get that! I come from a different angle though. What are you as a woman with no children and no career and title? I am right now a student at 39. People judge that all the time. I am nothing to them...but I contribute in different ways.

[@kimfuller2439]

Finally got to watch this! Loved it, thank you Trista!

[@suzie3732]

way to go trista well said

[@juligrlee]

Hurrah for you and your insightful son!!

[@slovsuarez707]

Helped me alot to here this. Thank you.

[@reshmasabu1297]

Tnks for ur inspirational talk...

[@amberallen-sauer7279]

Awesome!

[@alissoncarlyle9300]

Great job! Very inspirational

[@hensonaf]

Beautiful message!

[@GraceofGod-l1j]

This was in time ! Thank you :)

[@henlaw1008]

More women should be "just a Mom". There is nothing wrong with being home with your children and taking care of your household. Of course there are some women who have to work and that is fine. It's the women who don't really have to work who should be at home with their kids and household. After the kids are in school if she wants to get a part-time job, that would be fine, but one where she would be working while the kids are in school. It's only in recent decades that women have been working out of the home in large quantities. Children are left with a babysitter or daycare. Before that it was the norm to be "just a Mom". It's the best and hardest job in the world to be a full time "just a Mom". Kudos to those who do it and are willing to sacrifice to do so.

[@90nattynash]

Amazing

[@Dunbury]

WOW, many are the times, when i sit and think to myself that am just another person in the crowd, trying to live through this life and see if, when i die, someone, most likely my children will remember me, because my photo hang in a wall somewhere. and if the house caught fire, there there would be no memory of me, and am kinder okay with that, but not anymore. i am a somebody, i am valuable, and to all my demons, 'you have had me for far too long''

[@dyancelne]

Thank you Trista Stutter. :)

[@misstee101]

Great job Trista! I knew you'd do it!

[@sarahbucket8037]

this is great! love u trista ♥♥♥

[@dianasantos5841]

That was beautiful! 😘 😊 😊❤️

[@sugarpump]

This is great!

[@weekendwankere69]

Brilliant! Thanks for the inspiration:)

[@catherinetong4472]

I realize anyone can be anything...but are you good at it and do you like doing what your doing is the questions to be asked.

[@lindapellerin5492]

😢🙏💕ty so much!

[@ashahersi8599]

love this talk, thanks for inspiring me trista:)

[@Bergstromoliver]

Just Be Yourself.

[@happinesss2]

I wish people would be kinder to one another... why are people so cruel toward other people they don't even know?

[@xw6475]

Thank you for speaking this up, I feel the same way!

[@ameg2707]

love it ♡♥♡

[@menina5166]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@pevitzachast6892]

Totes cried.

[@dianaazamova3023]

I am worthy

[@mohanraja5099]

Home maker is world difficult and honourable job

[@TP-fl9ul]

Respect yourself

[@braylenlandkey]

6:00 stop saying "just", I'm "just" a mom, I'm "just" an accounant, I'm "just" a volunteer. I'm "just" a cook. 不要说 "just" "只是“ 什么 什么。 别形容自己成为 ”我只是“ and stop harming our own self-worth, or sabotaging our self-esteem. stop saying "I can't do it." 换成 "how can I do it?" stop saying "I can't afford it." 换成 “how can I afford it?" stop saying "没办法。。“ 换成 ”怎么样，我才能有办法？“ stop saying ”我只能“ 什么 什么 换成 “我能” 什么 什么 stop saying 我只要。。“ 换成 "我想要。。”

[@dionisakissakis2297]

I am not just a student!!!! well actually i'm not one i'm dropping out :)

[@ChiHieuVo1320061]

Just like... what I did :)

[@lagarduza5600]

Dionisis Makrigiannis :D it's fine if it makes you happy you need to do it ASAP!🙌🏻

[@noonsaram456]

Damn, i have the same sentiment

[@cedricburkhart3738]

I want to know how a shorten freeze memes. That is how I found this video. I want to know what it means when someone much older than you tells you that you are not worth it?

[@morgangoulet6115]

Ava

[@WaterMan-ss6eb]

Is it me or is this lady wearing some of the sexiest shoes...she looks great. Now back to serious crap....

[@aldughimanreem544]

Unfortunately, there is no value of me into my love"KSA".

[@andreakimbertone6701]

what

[@Ladyblue7620]

Isn't it our primitive rule to be moms? I mean yeah we can be great at almost anything else if let be, but raising a healthy child is the greatest thing any woman can do.

[@fourcakers]

When you accept Christ as your personal savior, you will recognize those are attacks fro the enemy!!! Those feelings of unworthiness all come from the enemy!!!! Satan is a liar and deceiver and wants us all to fail and feel unworthy and take us down to the pits of hell! Jesus Christ is coming back imminently and is picking his bride! Choose Him because he will give you PERFECT PEACE!!!!

[@zes3813]

wrong,idts

[@silverrainbow4825]

I think you need to understand that she is talking about human's emotions and social issues. Feeling unworthy is a psychology thing and it requires one's effort to bring the mind for the right track. Religion will not help very much, believe me.

[@BubbasMeisa]

No thanks fourcakers. Some people are not Christians. What's your thing, to create happiness by converting everyone? And you are the model of what everyone would want to be? And you are the only one who knows that right?

[@SilkyShish]

Hmmm.... a speech about self-worth coming from a woman who is so insecure about herself where she has had numerous plastic surgery procedures.