The WORST Christian Kids Movie | Finding Jesus 🐠

[@EmmaThorneVideos]

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[@AnnoyingNewsletters]

Was the last video sponsored by Ground News? I've counted half a dozen channels I watch that have all been sponsored by Ground News this week, so Geologie definitely stood out as different. 😅

[@spaceman081447]

During the 1990s there was a Christian production company called Cloud Ten Productions. They did a series of movies on the End Times, the Rapture, the Anti-christ, the Tribulation, etc. Could you please do reviews about these movies?

[@nimbleline]

thank you for taking the cruelty-free sponsor

[@sherlockwho5714]

@@nimbleline agreed

[@lukearts2954]

To answer your question around 37:00 about the function of Mr. Flip: well, he's clearly the drug dealer who had to give them something so their minds and senses would flip so badly that they see a piece of sushi grow arms and start to "tark-uh".

[@gruffen4]

A predator sending children to an area supposedly filled with other predators and no one saying anything about it is one the most christian things this "movie" could have done.

[@phillyphakename1255]

God will protect them, and if He doesn't, it's still part of His plan. Sigh. Justifying the undue suffering of vulnerable people. I can't accept that I used to say those kinds of things.

[@devilslamp7306]

Oh, that's dark.

[@tartoflan]

@@phillyphakename1255 welcome to the club of ex-cringe people. We have cookies.

[@phillyphakename1255]

@@tartoflan the cookies are a nice consolation prize, but the real harm done to myself and others feels insurmountable. Ah well, it's like in Frozen, the past is in the past! Let it go! But yet also Arendelle is still in deep deep deep deep snow and you ignoring the problem doesn't fix it, past present or future.

[@helixsol7171]

​@@phillyphakename1255 Had me in the first half, not gonna lie

[@devilslamp7306]

"I have never _wanted_ to punch a fish before!" Emma is turning into an octopus.

[@wizardsuth]

Or a mantis shrimp, which can deliver a punch with an acceleration of 300 m/s, a speed of 80 km/h, and a force of 15,000 N.

[@adeer87]

@@wizardsuthshort kings fr

[@johndavis-cf5wf]

One fine looking octopus.

[@NocturnalTyphlosion]

splatoon...

[@HungryWarden]

Octopus punching fish will never not be funny to me, whatever the reason is.

[@betadecay6503]

How are they gonna make a Christian Finding Nemo and not have an atheist fish keep singing "Just keep sinning, just keep sinning, just keep sinning sinning sinning. What do we do? We sin sin sin." They could even make it a fish that keeps forgetting the Bible and they have to teach them over and over until eventually they remember and find Jesus. The episode literally writes itself.

[@helenr4300]

Brilliant

[@northshoregirl8173]

That's PERFECT 😆

[@Sandstheskeleton]

lmao that’s perfect but might be too close to finding nemo

[@bookshelfhoney]

They probably didn't even watch finding Nemo because it's the devil's work or something , cause besides the name and that there are fish it has nothing in common

[@Roozyj]

I would watch that xD

[@BlackHearthguard]

"If kids actually took in this message, all they'd get is guilt..." Growing up as a catholic, I can tell you this is the feature, not a bug. They want you good and guilty all the time so you can be sorry, all the time, and show up on Sundays and plonk lots of currency onto their collection plate/basket/bag on long metal rod.

[@awkwardukulele6077]

The only correction I can give here is that my church had wicker baskets on wooden rods, but other than that, 💯 dude, you got it. /hj

[@enki354]

Well you know the saying Jews may have invented guilt but the Catholics perfected it!

[@BlackHearthguard]

@@enki354 So very true.

[@jed-henrywitkowski6470]

The RCC is not The Church, it is a church. That was not my experience as someone who was raised Protestant.

[@CHIEF_420]

🧂

[@the-nick-of-time]

Mr. Sushi being made with fish eggs is like if you had a human character with a coat made out of fetuses

[@phileas007]

there must be some horror film out there using this...

[@ChristopherSadlowski]

​@@phileas007if there isn't, there is now. I can hear the writers furiously clacking away at their keyboards as I write this.

[@Nymaz]

I could imaginea PureFlix Christian propaganda movie with a strawman atheist villain who wears exactly that.

[@Insertia_Nameia]

Lol I'm just laughing how they'd probably see that as okay yet they all masquerade as being "pro-life". 🤣

[@skylarjohnson7779]

what pro lifers think we wear.

[@erikrounds]

Joy: "It's not easy swimming around with all these predators in the sea!" Mr. Shark: *looks away awkwardly*

[@lazykbys]

To be fair, she's talking about the NEW predators. Which, to me, sounds more like an invasion of exotic species mucking up the ecosystem or, as Those People might put it, immigrants.

[@Gafafsg]

@@lazykbysI was not expecting to read this today, thank you

[@hermunkulus]

The Imdb page is a trip. It has this as rated NC-17 with everything in the Parents Guide (sex and nudity, violence and gore, profanity, alcohol and drugs, frightening scenes) as "extreme" and "Obviously released to capitalize on Finding Nemo." The reviews for it are golden too.

[@therookiegamer2727]

i just checked, the header of the FEATURED REVIEW says "I prayed for death while watching this movie, so I guess it accomplished its goal."

[@Where_is_Waldo]

@@therookiegamer2727 My favorite line in the reviews was: "If I showed this movie to my child, he would call Child Protective Services on me and I honestly wouldn't blame him."

[@zbz5505]

I mean, fish don't wear clothes so they're not wrong about nudity.

[@optillian4182]

​@@therookiegamer2727😂

[@colorbugoriginals4457]

thx for that 😂❤

[@CraigJudd]

Mr. Flips' line at 36:11 is "You ready to sail?" Which would maybe be a nice pun if he was a sailfish or something. Also I just want to point out that Mr. Flips' tail is the wrong way around for a dolphin - it should be a horizontal fluke, not a vertical fin. So he is most likely a Secret Ichthyosaur.

[@helenr4300]

ah evidence that 'dinosaurs' existed in the some time frame as modern creatures - like humans

[@alexhajnal107]

I honestly thought it *_was_* meant to be an Ichthyosaur.

[@leighs.9463]

The whale has the same problem with her tail

[@CaptainPeregrin]

Believe it or not, when I was little (like, pre-k), and I sang in a children's choir, some adult told me that I should give glory to Jesus for my voice when people praised my singing. That honestly stuck with me and made me feel bad every time people praised my voice for years!

[@awkwardukulele6077]

Oof, there are more times than I can count where I remember adults trying to tell me, “you have a gift, that’s very fortunate and you should be grateful to God for it,” and their phrasing came across more like, “this hood thing you did is actually just God’s work, you shouldn’t feel good about it.” There’s a lot of talk about religious trauma where people share the bad parts, but nothing damaged my self esteem quite like Christianity’s “all your goodness is God, all your badness is You,” attitude.

[@justinwatson1510]

When i was in middle school i was in the church choir and remember the choir director asking if i would prefer giving praise to god with silent prayer in the pews. My mom was livid, but I was thrilled

[@ladyspyre]

Was watching this while lying down, and I dozed off and had a dream that you showed up at my house to watch a video with me (commentary included), brought kittens out of a bag and let them run free in unexpected areas, picked up all the kittens, and then left with a previously unmentioned guy you were apparently traveling with-- without saying goodbye--and immediately after you left i found 3 Barbie presents in random places in my home. And that dream had more sense of story and plot than finding jesus lol.

[@DrewTrox]

This movie would be better if it was called Finding Noah, and this took place during the flood. Then we get to see all the sunken cities and dead bodies.

[@andreasmartin7942]

Brillant idea. They could make the corpses wave and murmur 'repent, repent!' Kids love that stuff. And zombies.

[@Grant-nt9pt]

The fish wouldn’t see the rainbow though… but an hilarious premise! Who knows how close they were to actually making that. Maybe in a parallel universe.

[@DanDanDoe]

If there’s something people always mention after deadly floods it’s the terrible smell of death and decay. A flood that kills all human population and all animals would be awful. Bloated bodies drifting in the water. And then after 150 days all of nature, all cities, everything would have been ravaged. The boat must’ve smelled awful as well.

[@samuelkoebbe5638]

​@DanDanDoe True. Not to mention that the fish would be um...disposing of..the corpses of the entire population of earth (minus what would have been on the ark), both human and animal. They wouldn't need algae to eat for a while.. 😅

[@SolemnlySquid]

Notice that Mr. Sushi does not have the same underwater lighting effect on his body that every other character and background has? Also, based on what you've shown, Mr. Sushi is never depicted at any angle other than directly facing camera. I bet he was an asset they bought that luckily had more than one facial animation, but they never bothered to fix the lighting on. I also suspect something is wrong with his model if they won't show his back. I could be wrong, as I have not seen the film.

[@Duskbound]

I love how absolutely shit movies like 'God's not Dead' end up having such a high rating among christians, purely because there's such a high demand for christian media and they'll take whatever they can get.

[@jameshall1300]

I think there's also a probably a tendency to be unwilling to be critical of them, because they might seem to be criticizing God himself. It's easier to smile and say how good it was than walk that dangerous line of criticizing the content without looking like one of the non-believers who are obviously going to be most of the negative views

[@tomgames8616]

Christian media: copycat of much better and higher quality mainstream media... because christian media lacks a good amout creativity and is usually just apologetics made sentient.

[@icravedeath.1200]

Prince of Egypt and ben-hur are exceptions.

[@tomgames8616]

@@icravedeath.1200 mostly because those are good stories first and not focused on apologetics.

[@cautiouslycynical9786]

@@jameshall1300 Oh you hit the nail on the head, right there! Anything with religious or traditional overtones gets a pass by default. Meanwhile secular aka real entertainment is overly criticized in the most disingenuous way. Space wizards with laser swords - silly... Power of Christ melting a Babylonian demon - Oscar worthy film!

[@ulisesmunguia8715]

Has seriously nobody commented on how Proffessor Shark's voice is literally Bane's? I literally laughed out loud.

[@Tareltonlives]

I can't unsee it. I was thinking folksy Zoidberg but that's actually pretty exact

[@renatocorvaro6924]

Gotta love those moments of, "There used to be something that was the worst. That is no longer the worst. This is now the worst." It happens far too often for me.

[@christasimon9716]

There is now a Level 0.

[@gibbcharron3469]

@@christasimon9716 Yep, and then you suddenly find Level -1.

[@LyraLyraPantsOnFyra]

"it's not a phone it's a tamagotchi." I am shocked and betrayed.

[@whitefoxproductions]

Oh Emma. Finding Jesus isn't the worst. The sequel that came out in two months from the first one's release, Finding Jesus 2, is.

[@vforwombat9915]

well, they didn't find Jesus in the film. they kept finding others. they found flip. they found mr sushi. but that damn shark never told them to find Jesus. which begs the question, if Jesus were a fish, what kind of fish would he be?

[@RickReasonnz]

@@vforwombat9915 Angel Fish?

[@vforwombat9915]

@@RickReasonnz leading contender so far.

[@christasimon9716]

Finding Jesus 2? So they didn't actually find him in the first one? Yeah, I _thought_ I saw Jesus on that milk carton.

[@danielchard535]

Jesus could be a catfish @@vforwombat9915

[@Alakaizer]

Never thought I'd see two fish help a whale get crabs.

[@ecclefty21]

With the way Christians keep losing Jesus, and expect us to find him...why do we believe they're so great, again?

[@Romanticoutlaw]

at this point I'm hoping jesus gets into the witness protection system, he clearly doesn't want to be found

[@JRHainsworth]

This show feels like the perfect setup for a horror arg, where each new fish they go see is more and more distorted or horrifying

[@HungryWarden]

Dang I just had a really cool idea for an analog horror that takes place in an alternate universe where God abandoned Noah after the flood to create a different universe after being bored of the old one.

[@JRHainsworth]

@@HungryWarden Mandela Catelogue isn’t too far from that. In the Mandela universe, Satan won and god is referred to as “a spirit”

[@HungryWarden]

@@JRHainsworth Mandela Catalogue is like THE analog horror. It’s impressive that it still manages to scare me despite having seen pretty much everything horror-related. The idea that Satan posed as an angel and actually won is really creepy.

[@jeremyusreevu237]

This film is literally just "Filler: the movie."

[@madddd1]

That one story arc that everyone skips but the entire movie.

[@sherlockwho5714]

This reminds me of movies where I put the speed at 10x with captions

[@icantcomeupwithnames469]

You should watch their Pets movies. They're so bad, they wrap around to being good and barrel right back past it to being bad. I watched all of the first one in one go and it's probably the closest thing I've ever felt to a spiritual experience.

[@simond.455]

They wanted to call it "Deep Blue Sea", but the name was already taken. 😆

[@theofficialgoofygoober]

Nah filler can be better than this entire movie, one piece & JJBA are good examples, this movie is just a sad excuse lol.

[@CatboiAir]

"they would feel bad if something bad happened because something bad happened"

[@happytofu5]

I could imagine that the reason why they had Mr Sushi and why he is so different from the rest of the cast is that they probably bought all the 3D models somewhere instead of making them. And the model was probably already prepared to feature this set of animations (compared to the others who werent).

[@autumnwyvern489]

thats my theory as well, the other fish do have a pretty consistent style between them so either the sushi is from a different set of assets and the other fish came together in a pack or the fish were somehow made in house and they bought the sushi

[@shadehawk]

they did. theyre just premade asset packs

[@DissedRedEngie]

​@@shadehawk I feel asset flipping would be a very specific type of sin.

[@johncheese1705]

Pretty sure Professor Shark is either a blue shark ir a mako shark, species that respires through RAM ventilation. Professor Shark should have been struggling to breathe at best and be dead at worst.

[@AuraHero]

I remember this being talked about on God Awful Movies. They undersold just how horrifying Mr. Sushi is. Also, I can't imagine being an animator and having this film--or studio for that matter--on your resume. It's the equivalent of a black spot for future employers.

[@denverarnold6210]

More like a black hole for your credibility.

[@WilliamTaylorIII]

Just tell future employers it was parody.

[@chuckoneill2023]

Well, I think it demonstrates that you can work fast (and cheap) under pressure.

[@tatiana4050]

​@@chuckoneill2023 it also demonstrates will of steel. Normal person would just quit animating forever if they had to animate this.

[@awkwardukulele6077]

GAM did this movie too? Well, now I know what I’m watching immediately after I’m done watching Emma’s video. 😁

[@hexonyou]

I believe he is saying "Are you ready to sail?" but he holds on to the word "sail" weirdly, so it's like two syllables lol.

[@esalehtismaki]

That was inspired :-) Don't you know that christianity isn't about helping people, it's about making them feel guilty when they have done nothing wrong. This guilt can then be used against them to pressure them to do immoral things. So this was very christian.

[@melissacooper8724]

Ikr? I remember seeing a clip from a show called The Way Of The Master where this one Christian dude was interviewing random people on the streets. He was pretty much gaslighting them to feel guilty for saying GD or swiping a candy bar when they were kids!

[@enki354]

That's Ray Comfort. He and Kirk Cameron hang together at times. Spreading the word.@@melissacooper8724

[@Where_is_Waldo]

Speaking as a non-christian, the reason to do kind things is empathy and sympathy. If you love the joy and wellbeing of someone else, you will naturally feel the greatest joy and fulfillment you can feel when you make them happy regardless of being credited with causing their joy or wellbeing or being paid back and if they do something nice for you because they love you, you will love that they get to feel the joy and fulfillment you felt from doing good for them.

[@rolfs2165]

In a "movie" called Finding Jesus, you'd expect them to go out and actually search for him, wouldn't you?

[@NoodleKeeper]

I was expecting a bad parody of "Finding Nemo", but with a Christian bend. This is just like a shitty kids show that is shamelessly using the name parody for cred.

[@pyroblast3000]

I wished it ended with one of them being the fish he used magic to feed a bunch of people with one loaf of bread...lol

[@enki354]

And finding him.

[@silkwesir1444]

Not really. The phrase "finding Jesus" is like an idiom that is not meant in a literal way. It means more something like discovering the value in his teachings.

[@jawsbert]

I am unreasonably angry they named him Marlow the swordfish instead of Marlow the marlin

[@guy5398]

Oh my cod, what a load of pollocks. A turtle disaster? It krills me to say it, but I'm afraid sole. Tanks for seaing this so we don't have to. Great work, Emma! :- )

[@diegowolfe2744]

You missed out on "Great white Emma!"

[@Ogre32890]

Just think: Somewhere out there is a well meaning parent who spent real money on this atrocity in the hope of keeping their toddler(s) entertained and was then forced to experience this utter abhorrence over and over by their children. FYI the entire 2 minute horrorfest that is the Mr. Sushi scene is available here on KZbin for anyone who seeks that bressing in their life.

[@westvirginiascoolestcanadian]

link?

[@silkwesir1444]

Trouble is, if the kids are young enough, like the age they are barely able to speak, this probably will be hugely entertaining to them, with all the smiles and colors - and an the same time the propaganda is being hammered into their brains.

[@darkstarr984]

Wouldn’t the Mr Sushi scene count as a blursing? Edit: I stand corrected: “brursed.” Certainly “brursed” I haven’t cringed this horribly in a long time.

[@SpyderQueen1988]

The creepy smile feels very much like the "Christian Personality", they're basically Shiny Happy Fish.

[@spatulaoblangata]

The video is almost over and I am still laughing about how ridiculously silly it is that he's called Scary Henry. Especially since that's not even his name. And because there is nothing scary about him. And if anyone should be scared here it's the guy being confronted by the bullies that feed his siblings to their friends

[@saffral]

My theory is that Mr. Sushi was a regular fish who got resurrected post food preparation and went home. Now he spends his days being racist toward his killers. I think that's the least-bad explanation for... whatever that was.

[@eric2500]

We've never seen Emma this way. I like it. Somebody pushed her button about excellence with low quality, and she's PISSED!

[@vforwombat9915]

coming soon: Emma2: this time it's personal.

[@desperadox7565]

Pissed Emma is the best Emma. 👍

[@Atstudiotrev]

Nailed it! One of my favorite Emma videos.

[@lukearts2954]

When you mentioned there's a character named booh-cakes (or bu-kakes, however you write it) I was convinced it had to be a sperm whale...

[@benoitgauthier6998]

I would like to thank Jesus for watching these videos so we don't have to

[@hackercow211]

Wait Charlie watched this?

[@JustWonderfullyAverage]

The Subtitles: "What you are you two little fish?" What i hear: "What are you two a weed or a fish?"

[@PillboxBollocks]

That super closeup... Emma... You know somebody kissed their screen when you did that. Probably Coocoo Kent Hovind. Hilarious! >"Muggles." The "normal people" in Rowling's Potter series. The people whom Fundies are most likely to admire (at the expense of any important message) within the story. >Scary-looking carnivore as the sage and spiritual leader whom the (vulnerable, meaty) children can trust implicitly. >Puffer fish, with an effective and built-in defence capability that hurts carnivorous predators "is a jerk and should apologize". >"Boo Cakes". OK, I'll admit to being a man of culture to a moderate-high degree, but this name... I'm just gonna say it. "Bu Kakes". You can't convince me that the writer wasn't having a laugh. >Pink "fish" are loyal and trustworthy. Full stop. "What about fish of colour?" "Shut up! Why are you bringing up colour? Why is colour so important to you? You hate pink fish? Racist!" Along with much of what you pointed out, like the clearly racist portrayal of a Japanese character that Walt Disney would love, it's clear to me that there are no coincidences within that...production, and it is highly tailored to indoctrinate/ease youths into white Christofascist culture. Sorry. Borrowed your soapbox for a moment. I brushed the dirt off of it for you. There you go. Thanks, Ducky.

[@lexwolfhale1729]

I wasn't the only one to notice Boo Cakes' name! It gives me a bit of relief to know I wasn't the only one!

[@ChristopherSadlowski]

"But Kakes"!!! OMG I nearly spit out my tea!!! 😂😂😂

[@stellviahohenheim]

I unzipped my pants

[@PillboxBollocks]

@@stellviahohenheim As you do when using the loo.

[@Insertia_Nameia]

​@@lexwolfhale1729I'll admit it took me a second than it hit my likena truck load of bricks. Wait a minute...I am getting right?? 🤣 🤣

[@Commander_Appo]

It took me a minute to realize that the ENTIRE FIELD OF GEOLOGY did not, in fact, somehow sponsor this video. In all fairness, it's 00:52 where I am right now and I should probably be asleep

[@EmmaThorneVideos]

that would be pretty sick also

[@bailey6304]

No matter how many videos I watch about this... thing that some might call a movie, I can still never process the fact that it's a real thing that exists in this world

[@jameshall1300]

Oh, it exists, and so many kids will get forced to watch it that it's pretty depressing. This is the kind of stuff that my nephews have to watch. For context, they go to the school in KY that got famous a while back for having the assignment that asked kids how they'd talk their friend out of being gay. Different grade level, but the same school.

[@renatocorvaro6924]

@@jameshall1300 "How would you talk your friend out of being gay?" "I'd tell them to stay in the closet until they get to a safer town."

[@jameshall1300]

@@renatocorvaro6924 that's actually a pretty good answer to it. These kids were young enough that gay or straight probably wasn't even figured out for themselves yet, much less their position on it. It was literally just the adults priming the kids to learn to hate anyone gay as they got older. It made me sick TBH.

[@WarriorDan]

Speaking as an ex-TV cameraman and floor director, I can honestly say it feels like whoever made this film originally made a good film, but then someone else took over the editing room and promptly removed all the good scenes and instead replaced them exclusively with the kinds of worthless deleted scenes that no self-respecting professional would even allow into the bonus features...

[@loudtim265]

I’ve seen this movie for sale in the piles of crappy movies in dollar stores and as a preacher’s kid I have an impulse to buy, watch, and destroy but I’ve been able to resist. Thank you for watching and sharing!

[@luxitos2867]

My friend and I used to talk about a phenomenon we called PKS or Preacher's Kid Syndrome. Where being smothered and dragged up within a super religious environment like that 24/7 would push them to become extremely rebellious, potentially even more so than average tweens and teens. (And understandably so) I've personally witnessed it quite a few times.

[@AgentForest]

Christian Film: "His names is Boo-cakes." The Internet: "lol, bukakes"

[@popechucky]

The ONLY reason this would have ANY popularity is due to the ‘self asserter’s’ “pushing” this on their poor kids… I just want to say this… ITS AWEFUL.. and the message delivery is HORRIBLE😐😐😐 I’m so sorry you had to sit through this.. BUT AGAIN… thank you for taking ‘one for the team😂’ Your time is VERY APPRECIATED, Emma… again, thank you!!🏳️‍🌈🥰🏳️‍🌈

[@timmackey2896]

As an old fart of 70 I find your videos encouraging, I nave noticed a steady decline in critical thinking skills in the much younger generations. Your videos give a glimmer of hope that all is not lost. My path from parochial school indoctrination to atheism started around 14-15. An avid science fiction reader (all the greats were atheist and made fun of religion) I was brimming with thoughtful questions which were meet with “God works in Mysterious ways” or outright dismissed. So I started reading about the history of religions and discovered that practically all the core beliefs were begged, borrowed or stolen from preexisting religions, including Christ rising from the dead. At least 5 other religions had that scenario eons before the Christian’s got hold of it. I am hopeful you make an impact, however I fear you efforts may be like ‘John, A voice in the wilderness”. Anyway enjoy your videos since recently finding them. And in a Grandfatherly way your demeanor, perkiness and overall attitude is adorable. Keep up the good fight.

[@Saje3D]

If you think your peers were any better at critical thinking than the younger folks, I’d like to point out that Boomers created this world and the rest of us just live here.

[@timmackey2896]

@@Saje3D That’s a good point and I agree. However I never claimed it was all that high back then, it just got worse.

[@triakis2]

Insightful commentary, theocratic propaganda masquerading as 'kids' entertainment, your channel is great, love it!

[@myonline1985]

and the same people who actually laud this will turn around and scream at the top of their lungs about the "indoctrination of kids"

[@Antony-xv1gl]

​@@myonline1985Would you rather it be about how to gender transitioning?

[@CharlesPayet]

@@Antony-xv1glyes, I would. Because at least that’s real, versus Jesus & god.

[@Antony-xv1gl]

@@CharlesPayet How do you know God isn't real?

[@alangarland8571]

@@Antony-xv1gl Equally how do you know it is real?

[@bugnpop6531]

@12:08 I was raised as a JW. At the memorial for my father after he died, one of the "sisters" in the congregation came up to my biological sister, who was crying. She "comforted: her by saying: "You don't need to cry. You know this is just temporary. You'll see him again in Paradise. We're better than this." I had started de-converting by this time, and it p*ssed me right off.

[@bbeethe2]

"Hey, Jackass John! What's wrong?" "It seems like everyone hates me.." "Why do you say that, Jackass John?" "Well everyone calls me jackass all the time..."

[@simond.455]

"You're just an ungrateful SOB, Jackass!" 🤪

[@DissedRedEngie]

"what are you saying Jackass John? Jesus already decided that you're supposed to be happy. You wouldn't want to disappoint Jesus, now would you Jackass John"

[@ImJustJ.]

I love love loooooove your reviews! Thank you for going through the pain so we don't have to ❤

[@psychicvoid3512]

Going off your doorholding analogy, I've always thought about how religious families will have someone go through awful conditions and a group of doctors spend ages and surgeons will spend like 10+ hours in the operating room, just narrowly saving the persons life and then when altogether in the room whip out the "I'm so glad we prayed for you" or "Thank god for accepting our prayers" that sort of thing, instead of just thanking the people who actually did anything. I've always thought that is insane and purely disgusting. Same with when you spend all day cooking and slaving in the kitchen to make a meal for people and then you sit and prayer and you're thanking god for the food, it makes 0 sense and what about thanking the person who actually gave you that food, who's spent time and energy to do that, it's so ungrateful.

[@sarahr8311]

Your food comment reminds me of how, when visiting my catholic cousins and Nana, for years all I knew for grace was to bow my head and mumble, then look up and say "And bless the cook!"

[@psychicvoid3512]

@@sarahr8311 Doing the lord's work better than the lord himself, gotta commend you for that, I can imagine that didn't bode so well with them after a while lmao

[@sarahr8311]

@@psychicvoid3512 no, this was a family thing. You said the prayer (which I didn't understand because everyone mumbled, so I'd just pretend) then looked up, smiled, and blessed the cook (who was usually my Nana).

[@evilbob840]

I'm no marine biologist, but I have kept both fresh and saltwater aquariums. From the front or 3/4 views, "Muggles" looks kind of like a damsel fish or one of the smaller angel fishes. From the side though, his body has clearly been stretched and pinched in whatever editing tool they were using and doesn't make any sense. "Joy" looks like some kind of butterfly fish. The colors on both of them are wrong though. "Mrs. Wadley" has rings on her that kind of look like a blue-ringed octopus (except not blue), but that's not a thing on starfish. Also, koi wouldn't make sense as a Japanese replacement fish, they are fresh water only. Some kind of dragonet would be my choice (although they are not well known outside of the aquarium hobby).

[@repeatdefender6032]

Emma this one had me in STITCHES! So flipping funny, what an utter monstrosity of a show!

[@madcatdad42]

Emma's review of this is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. keep up the good work.

[@dkkinh]

Plot twist. Scary Henry is smiling because he is imagining snipping all the fish in half!

[@arthurgermano3521]

That old dude that shows up at 52:16 is a subcelebrity here in Brazil, he calls himself "Inri Cristo"

[@simond.455]

You put much more thought and effort into this film review than the creators ever did. Another example: 48:37 and 49:02. Exact same setup, except blue is magenta and green is purple. And of course Rosie is Fizzy. Soooo.... "Finding Jesus 2" review when? 😆

[@jensraab2902]

Good catch! (no pun intended)

[@davewilliams6172]

"I have never wanted to punish a fish before"....that, right there got my subscription. 🤩🤩🤩

[@alexmcgilvery3878]

I'm very sorry you had this horrific experience, but your rage is fun to watch. I know that makes me a terrible person, but I can't help it.

[@Where_is_Waldo]

Thanks for the recommendation Emma, just watched the trailer and Tweedy and Fluff is indeed adorable... also, what ever happened to Veggie Tales? I mean I obviously didn't agree with all of their messages but at least it was an actual animated cartoon with reasonably good voice acting and effort used and everything... also: "Everybody's got a water buffalo, yours is fast but mine is slow." (Stoned tangent: While typing that quote from Silly Songs With Larry, I typed "yours" as "your's" then realized I'd spelled it wrong, then realized that pronouns are weird because with a noun you add an apostrophe and an "s" to make it possessive but with the word "you" you add an "rs" and with the word "she" you change it to "he" and add an "rs"... we should just go back to "thine"... which actually would have rhymed) (Also, this was the 666th comment)

[@roiaknin]

Thank you Emma for never failing to cheer me up when I'm down!

[@mollywillo]

a fire is coming toward my town as i watch this video, waiting to see if i have to evacuate. but i am comforted to know that with jesus and two children by my side i can find a home 3x bigger if anything goes wrong

[@dennismason3740]

...and in the director's cut Jesus, in snorkel and face mask and Speedos, paddles by behind the fishes and mimes a facepalm and swims out of the scene. It is a myth about sharks needing to move to breathe. Many species drift to the ocean floor and sleep for hours, in YT, I'm sure and it's adorable.

[@ghostshirt1984]

Fun fact! Not all sharks attack people and there are many species of sharks other than the great white sharks and harmless sharks like whale sharks, basking sharks and more. There are sharks that you can nickname puppies of the sea.

[@markmcgee2417]

This "film" is exactly why as a social species we had to invent comedy in order to cope. This "film" did not deliver. We wanted fun in the cape not Cape Fear.

[@BeMyWizard]

@ 16:28 Peak dad joke right there 😂😂 This is one of your funniest videos, whole experience was insane!

[@Lutemoth]

Emma, were you able to discern what denomination of Christianity these fish were? Canonically true to Saint Anthony preaching to the fishes, they should be Catholic. It would raise a lot of questions about Historical Fish Schisms (HFS) if they were any other sect.

[@GumSkyloard]

Does that mean that Portugal also colonised the sea?

[@SuperAwesomestness]

Evan-shellical, Merman, Ortholox, or Crabolic.

[@paulguimond9789]

The laugh at the end, around the 51minute mark, now lives in my head rent free

[@tom1644x]

A children's Christian movie has a character called Bukkakes?

[@lyudmilapavlichenko7551]

Sad kid: I'm sad because my dad drinks too much and hits me. . Christian fish: Maybe you're not grateful enough. Thank Jesus.

[@GabrielBadwolf]

Plot twist - there’s a carbon monoxide leek in the minister’s office and this is all his hallucination while watching his fish tank

[@sfango007]

Just had the moment that I already felt really fed up by finding Jesus while realizing I had only watched half of the video... But for Emma's sake I'm gonna hold on 🥵😂

[@g_eddie]

I'm excited to learn if the fish find human Jesus or some sort of fish Jesus only the fish know about.

[@chrisditoro3876]

That “hahaha…oh!” At 2:31 was excellently executed.

[@tubian323]

I think maybe they called the fish "Muggles" to try to appeal to kids who like Harry Potter. "Harry Potter has Muggles right? Kinda similar eh? Eh?"

[@MattCrawley_Music]

Or saying its cool to be a muggle instead of a wizard

[@fusionspace175]

Thanks be to Jesus for writing, shooting, editing, and uploading this video. Truly, he works in mysterious ways.

[@Lemonidas_of_Sourta]

Oh I dunno, seeing as how they are marketed to kids who are being conditioned into being extra special Christian, it is par for the course that the obvious authority figure is a predator. Also +1 vote for more Emma face filling my screen.

[@CrankyQuokka]

Ah, Mr Sushi. I get VERY strong Mickey Rooney vibes from Breakfast at Tiffany's there... 😮 Thank you so much for a good laugh. I know its wrong but seeing you get wound up and venting is awesome 😂

[@_BerryBee_]

Not the movie being called "Finding Jesus" and the characters DESCENDING in the movie cover 💀 Great video, Emma! This movie is awful, glad to see you cover it!

[@david-pb4bi]

17:39 that clam was deliberately off the floor, hence the shadow.

[@narrativedude]

This is one of the funniest KZbin episodes I’ve had the luck to see. So funny that I’ve added it to my Fucking Funny and Shareable list - A rare honor, indeed.

[@danielk6840]

"Sharks are the puppies of the sea" -- hilarious. Emma venting about christian stuff is just the best.

[@joannecunliffe8067]

Emma - you're trying to think through this as though it makes sense (and yes I know you KNOW this already). It just doesn't work, does it (even for young kids)! I remember being offered VeggieTales ("Larryboy and the Fib from Outer Space") for my own children and thinking "There's NO WAY I'd show this to them!". Yeah, there was a good morality tale there but the way it was put across was horrific! I'll have to have a look at "God Awful Movies". I HATE propaganda in any form. The most important thing (for children) is being cruel (or bigoted) to other people is (in general) is a very bad thing and also telling the truth is mostly a good thing (but morality comes into that too). Kids are generally good at this stuff WITHOUT propaganda.

[@logan666]

Larry boy and the rumor weed gave me nightmares as a child. I don’t even remember the takeaway

[@joannecunliffe8067]

@@logan666 It's all creepy propaganda so I'm not surprised you had nightmares!

[@ThunderSqueak]

As they are spending most of their time searching for food I am surprised they did not get to Marlo too late and then say "FOOD! If you have faith, all will be provided" or some such.

[@christopherjustice6411]

Mr Sushi is a zombie?

[@silvsevie]

I love that they chose one of the clearly gayest parts of the bible to illustrate friendship in the marlowe segment. Jonathan and David. "Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself. He took him that day and did not let him return to his father's house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt." and after Jonathan dies David laments: "...Jonathan; You have been very pleasant to me. Your love to me was more wonderful than the love of women..." clearly two straight bros, a shinning beacon of heterosexual friendship.

[@paulhammer4941]

Most fish eat other fish so honestly them being cool with Mr Sushi is the least surprising thing tbh 😂

[@DevilishScience]

I look forward to your review of Finding Jesus 2, which regrettably is not sub-titled Resurrection or The Second Coming (which it ought to be) and has had rave reviews on IMDB. Anyway I'm going to enjoy my fish and chips for dinner tonight.🐠🦈

[@Forest_Fifer]

It should have been subtitled "electric eel Boogaloo"

[@shawnnosaurus]

Ah man, it's sad to hear that these videos don't do well, I enjoy hear your passion and great interesting insight, with such good sense of humour.

[@philrobson7976]

“Piranhas are my colleagues”. May I please use that line again.

[@Phranque]

I just couldn't understand where all the bubbles were coming from and why Muggles has a full set of teeth. Thanks for watching so we don't have to 🙂

[@enki354]

Isn't Muggles a term from Harry Potter and based on the occult. If so why is this movie using this name?

[@richardfromontario]

@@enki354 I couldn't quite wrap my head around it - the only thing I've ever associated "Muggles" with is non-magic folk in the wizarding world. Now this video has me second guessing myself and googling if it's a common name anywhere

[@enki354]

Thanks for your reply@@richardfromontario

[@RedDeadSakharine]

I love how worked up you get at this travesty. It's relatable *and* entertaining. 😂Thank you for sacrificing your sanity for us!

[@theCommentDevil]

Many people are watching horror movies this week and i see that you are too. 😂

[@matspatpc]

As someone that knows quite a bit about fish: Those are not real fish. They look like poorly drawn cartoons of something from Finding Nemo - whilst Finding Nemo isn't exactly realistic, it does actually use real exisiting species of fish that can be (sort of) identified to species. I'm surprised it hasn't been sued by Disney Pixar for some sort of copyright/trademark infringement - or maybe they have, just not got around to court yet? [Maybe that's why they change names every now and again?] And surely someone is pulling the legs of whoever is responsible here with the Boo Cake? I had to go back and listen again when you said that, as I thought that's what you said, but I didn't believe it. It wouldn't be the first "adult joke in a children's program", but it's pretty bizarre still.

[@dogwalker666]

Pixar should have this rubbish dumped in a Blast Furnace.

[@CharlesPayet]

21:51 I died laughing at Emma’s fake laugh - it was perfect!

[@pickledragonrebel]

Fantastic vid ! I really needed a great emma episode today. Thanks for all you do ❤

[@cloudboy7750]

Hi Emma! I made a comment on your announcement for MCM London, and a bot or something pretending to be you replied with a scam attempt. Just a heads up 🤨

[@EmmaThorneVideos]

Gosh they are such a PLAGUE!