The Worst Christmas Rap Songs I've Ever Heard

[@andrewpollard_]

Afroman made an awful Christmas album...because he got high.

[@teababe27]

You win Comment of the Day...and I know why...

[@seppoleonvervloet132]

I left the 69th like

[@crazyluigi6664]

Gansta Kut There was 69 likes! Because we got high! DA-DA-DA-DA-BAH-DE-BAH-DAH

[@jetfire851]

He was gonna make a second album, but he got high So they just repackaged the first one, and I know why Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high Dah-dah-da-da-da-da

[@comedicjune4365]

Nice

[@duke86fan]

i only remember 2 things 1. i need to find afromans christmas album 2."IIITS CHRISTMAS IN THA GHETTO FALALALALALALALALA"

[@teababe27]

Yeah, the bumper is stuck in my head now.

[@harleymitchelly5542]

You want my advice? Listen to the Best Christmas Rap Song countdown a few times. It's bound to have something that'll clear out the earworm. Mine was Christmas in Harlem. Kanye wasn't at his A game, but his corny sex joke didn't bother me and he was good pretty much everywhere else.

[@oxymoronic-ephiphanies]

Afroman's Album Is on Spotify

[@mikethegrunty5968]

To the window! To the well! Till the sweat drips from my bells!

[@mariokarter13]

From the smash hit: Get Coal

[@martis4951]

Mike White gg m8s

[@seigeengine]

To the chimney! To the hall! Till the sweat drips down my boughs!

[@xakimboxjoex]

All these Elvies crawl, ahhhh fleece, fleece , fleece ,ahhhh fleece fleece, egg nog

[@Fulcrum.Actual]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 fuckin 😭

[@carl1212]

I'm sorry, but the sentence "Police Blow my Wad" is funny. It's such a ridiculous stretch that it's actually hilarious. The fact that he doesn't even remotely sing the right notes or the correct melody only adds to the hilarity.

[@JCM-x84]

That coupled with the fuckin album cover has me pissing myself laughing

[@glurganergc4856]

It's a good comedy album even if it's bad

[@SanguineThor]

LMFAO Afroman nutting into a male cops mouth is a hilarious and disturbing thought

[@WeeBru56]

Police blow my wad sounds like a song randy would sing from South Park

[@goldyd144]

I can't unheard that now. Thank you. 😩😬🤣😂😂😂

[@jayjaydeth]

Well. Those are things. That were produced.

[@teababe27]

Pretty much my reaction too.

[@yunginsanity1464]

@@teababe27 that last 1 fire though

[@kosmologist]

"What about that 'porteños baños felicidades' part?" Yeah, I don't know about the "happy bathrooms from Buenos Aires" part either... P. S. It's actually "prospero año y felicidad," meaning "a prosperous year and happiness."

[@anthonydeadman]

Man imagine a Christmas with Happy Bathrooms.

[@idrk3707]

ok

[@BlakeGeometrio]

I am very surprised - Christmas music CAN get worse.

[@trapbum3788]

ha ha ha

[@GhostSamaritan]

I think Kodak Black made a Christmas song, so there's that...

[@kenterminateddq5311]

U are surprised??? If you hear X-mas music constantly in December, you would think all X-mas music is bad.

[@ezzedinezeid6049]

Blake Geometrio CAN get worse? Christmas Songs are like Christmas itself, unnecessary

[@kenterminateddq5311]

Ezzedine Zeid Ouch, you are Anti-Christmas too?

[@ASerpentPerplexed]

8:33 - 8:38 "porteos baños felicidad"? Oh Rap Critic, it's "prospero año y felicidad", as in he is wishing you happiness and a prosperous new year! That's almost as bad as my mom thinking the National Anthem started with, "José can you see" 😆

[@CrocGangEnt]

this whole video had me dead, you just earned yourself a sub

[@Juu2Trap]

yoo croc

[@piccolo9365]

2 🐐s

[@Jjsjshaj887]

I hate most Christmas songs in general, I mean seriously!, how many covers of "All I want for Christmas is you" can you hear before wanting bash your head against a wall?!?!

[@1Trempo]

Jake Reber christmas is overrated

[@natty1]

tru af

[@Washanuga]

Went into a store recently that had a huge section of Christmas-themed CDs. Thousands of artists from all over the world, but THEY ALL COVER THE SAME FEW SONGS that have been around for damn well ever. Let's give it a rest or at least come up with new shit. Lol.

[@Jjsjshaj887]

phantomofdelphi exactly

[@J1428753]

If you need a palette cleanser, Enya has a few that are both new and tolerable.

[@meowbitzy]

It was only a 5 second clip but honestly “It’s christmas in the ghetto fa la la” became almost intolerable by the end

[@christopherminutolo9384]

Hong Kong 97 much?

[@randyh.7782]

1:22 - 1:25 "Hey it's a day ending in *Y*. Time to go to a strip club." LMFAO!!!!! 😂

[@matshbocks]

*takes about a week to get it.* ooohhhh... I believe that.

[@BroudbrunMusicMerge]

3:09 10/10 editing

[@thema1998]

@@katelyncarson422 ofcis?

[@OdinOfficialEmcee]

Eazy E's Christmas song is my guilty pleasure. I listen to it every year, and every year I get a kick out of it. It is sort of like "The Room" of music lol

[@conor8629]

Ok that Afro Man song about Frosty was actually kinda funny, but the second was really bad

[@josephboustany4852]

"police blow my wad" I thought he said "police stole my watch"

[@ZayzVizion]

Joseph Boustany That was the funniest part of the sof

[@ZayzVizion]

*song

[@millie8943]

I spit out my food laughing when I read this comment

[@dunadan1995]

Yeah, that Eazy-E song was my guilty pleasure for years. The fucking thing is a ridiculous mess and I love it.

[@TJForceIX]

Ya know, I've watched this video a few times, and it just now occurred to me: can you imagine just how sad the strippers working on Christmas must be? That would probably be an extremely depressing time at the club.

[@kaydwessie296]

"You little Cartman!" I love this

[@moonmanthemenace7339]

I didn't even know that Christmas rap sings existed...

[@skate3745]

Christmas in Hollis is a classic

[@ADAJ3KINGANGEL]

Loud Nigra overrated song

[@seanwattsmoore8507]

Mason Gustafson same

[@fhb3]

Kurtis Blow's "Christmas Rap" and "Christmas In Hollis" by Run-D.M.C. are basically the ONLY Christmas rap songs that are worth a damn.

[@stevecink]

Felix Brown and a merry Fucking Christmas by run the jewels

[@MforMovesets]

I seriously wanna listen to #1 now.

[@TheSimsterC]

And I thought the usual stuff they play in all the high street shops was bad. Just the thing to play on my monitor while I make christmas cards for my family. Thanks for another great video, merry christmas!

[@Undecided0]

The Black Eye Peas were originally signed to Ruthless Records.

[@bigQraz]

MrUndecidedVoter you serious?

[@Undecided0]

bigQraz Yeah, but it was only will.i.am & all.de.ap at the time. After Eazy-E died they got dropped from the label.

[@bigQraz]

MrUndecidedVoter hmmm would love to know how they would be now when eazy didn't die

[@xavierneilangel3305]

We Want EAZY

[@AgnessaMo]

I live in a non-English speaking country and I've never been much into Christmas music. However I like Rap Critic and I've seen this video a few times. The result? When I heard "Frosty the snowman" lately my immediate reaction was "...had a d*** of snow"

[@leemcdonald1342]

So, when will SiriusXM, Pandora, etc., will have a Christmas Rap category?

[@crazyluigi6664]

When more rap acts decide to release Christmas rap albums, fellow Suns fan. :)

[@leemcdonald1342]

Nice. I hope the Suns will be good again.

[@crazyluigi6664]

Honestly, as long as Devin and T.J. continue producing like they have for their averages this season (and get another good pick this upcoming year (either at small forward or point guard since those look to be the positions this year)), I'm sure they will.

[@leemcdonald1342]

Crazy Luigi Good analysis.

[@jxice__]

Lee McDonald anything you want I can get for you, bewah wah

[@mastsh12]

From parsing the lyrics, I think (maybe) that "Jobe" is a nickname Afroman uses for himself. Its pronounced "Joe-bee" and his first name is Joseph, and in context he seems to use it to refer to himself. I just have no idea where the "Bee" sound would come from. And I cant find anywhere else he (or anyone) has used it. Who knows!

[@roundabout468]

mastsh12 The video was released 1 minute ago, what the fuck

[@Gunsmoke2220]

Roundabout 💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@mastsh12]

Roundabout patreon folks got it early

[@nodira608]

Christmas rap songs? Oh boy here we go...

[@nodira608]

HOLY SHIT IM DYING TEARS ARE COMING OUT

[@nodira608]

AFROMAN=GOD

[@seanwattsmoore8507]

Chronicle It took u an hour to be dying

[@kenterminateddq5311]

+Chronicle What do u mean,"oh boy"??? Besides Christmas in Hollis, there are other good X-mas songs like the hip hop version of Santa Baby, featuring Snoop Dogg, Keith Murray and Onyx (yep, Onyx in a X-mas song).

[@nodira608]

Sean Wattsmoore 5:58-6:08 is 10 minutes.

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

"A whole song about someone killing a mythological person . . ." I don't know, Terry Pratchett wrote an entire book about that and it was pretty good. Then again, Terry Pratchett was one of the sharpest, most intelligent satirists of my lifetime and Insane Clown Posse is . . . well, their name says it all. Also, now that you bring it up, I'm not sure off the top of my head what the plural of premise is. I feel ashamed of myself.

[@kuroichan101]

I died at the "Police blow my wad". Thats some funny ass stuff.

[@crazyluigi6664]

I'd say that more for #3 & 1 myself.

[@MaskedManMikeMD]

i didnt know christmas rap existed... would strip clubs be open Christmas and Christmas Eve?

[@phillipleak7343]

+stanger wish woman were always open tbh.

[@heartofvanillaice7443]

stanger Just like strippers.

[@MaskedManMikeMD]

stanger really? even on those days? dang. thats just sad. I mean, sure the girls get extra money (whatever percentage they get) but no one wants to work the holidays...

[@DevilsAdvocateofnazareth]

I'll work during the holidays in a heartbeat! What's your bosses number? I need to tell him.... something

[@RainbowThoth]

I have a friend who said Christmas eve is the best day to look for one night stands. No-one wants to be alone, everyone is pretty drunk, and so on.

[@BBGirlSamus]

oh man, this is great. can't wait for the next episode

[@blissfulinsomniac5711]

"Police Blow My Wad" LOL XD. Please tell me nobody bought these...

[@carybeweary7209]

I love this video. I come to it anytime I really want to laugh. Regardless of the time of year.

[@RoyBatty03]

Always awesome. Thanks Rapcritic, and happy holidays to you and etc.

[@FishTitan64]

I'm starting to hate Deck The Halls because I keep getting it stuck in my head and singing it out loud out of nowhere.

[@heymistercarter.]

"Police Blow My Wad"? Sounds like he didn't know what "blow my wad" meant. Or he meant to say "blow me" and thought the two phrases were interchangeable, which yea, they're not.

[@sapimmureotr]

I gotta say you really do always make the best reviews man

[@pipsishooman9849]

I can't believe there's nothing with a play on the words "HO, HO, HO!" These rappers really not as clever cas I'd like to think they'd be...

[@RPD1175]

This was hilarious. Do this every year, RC. In fact, review the entire Afroman album :D

[@butterfly173173173]

Rap Critic, I've been watching your rap critiques for years now and I swear if we met in real life we'd hit it off. You say almost everything I'm thinking as I hear certain rap lyrics, and then I die laughing at your analysis. You're seriously my favorite KZbinr. Keep on being your awesome self.

[@Phoenix1212121212]

His reaction to "police blow my wad" had me rolling on the floor lmaao

[@EdbrookeAvenue]

My christmas spirit is dead because of this music

[@TheMichaelMonroeDoctrine]

Merry motherfucking Christmas is a yearly tradition for me lmfao

[@timbrechopper]

I really want to know what the Depeche Mode connection is to the Master P song (see top right hand corner of video footage). Imagine Martin Gore gathering his family around the campfire with some Egg Nog and playing this.

[@rouge1ful]

when I head wad I was thinking of the cops wasting his money

[@simonwilliamson3684]

rouge1ful Like he had to pay for a ticket? eh. Shouldn't have been that hard to rhyme, lazy ass people.

[@brimming]

Yeah I thought so too, maybe that the police are wasting taxpayers' money.

[@ERMO6627]

Holy shit #3 was fucking hilarious

[@crazyluigi6664]

I hate to admit it, but I felt the same way there.

[@darkraven316]

5:52 - 6:12 😂😂 The song and the intense groan of annoyance at the end kill me every time.

[@sergiolucas2781]

"Now, for some honorable mentions: The rest of this Album." -Par Citirc, 6102

[@doctormeow5653]

Sergio Lucas dislexia?

[@giovannileo9720]

Ying yang twins has always sounded and looked like a chapelle show sketch. This is the most perfect example of that.

[@souleater12343]

I love that he included the lines he found funny or semi funny. They tend to be some of the bits that make me laugh the most.

[@TheRealMutttastic]

Almost makes me wish I still worked retail so I could see if I could sneak some of this onto the in store music while the boss wasn't looking!

[@crazyluigi6664]

Try and do it, if you can.

[@Madvillainy91]

My favorite Christmas Rap Songs are Run The Jewels - A Christmas Fuckin' Miracle, and Mr. Lif - Santa's Got a Muthafuckin' Uzi.

[@flair541]

"Blow my wad" might mean they arrested him and took his cash.

[@heymistercarter.]

Ada Frost yea, I was wondering if he meant to say "blow me" or something, and like Rick Ross with the whole Expedia/Wikipedia thing, forgot to look up what he was supposed to say and just put "blow my wad" by mistake. Either that or he thinks "blow me" and "blow my wad" are interchangeable.

[@lilturk726]

Damn, I was hoping for a review of Shaq's second album..

[@simonwilliamson3684]

lilturk726 He has to do something next year.

[@michaelboyd395]

If I had the money to make a Patreon request of his, that's what I'd pick. Either that or To the Extreme, just to get under his skin lol.

[@chicagoakland]

I actually picked up Shaq's first two albums not long ago. Not even being sarcastic, the second album is WAY better. He actually tried on it.

[@hankcyrus9776]

this is great, thank you for this.

[@devalehaywood7039]

why the Ying Yang twins look like Kate Williams before he got beat up by that 12 year old

[@RougenTCG]

I believe you're referring to... Micah Sierra "Katt" Williams, (born September 2, 1971) an American stand-up comedian, actor, rapper, singer and voice artist. He had a role as Money Mike in Friday After Next, had a stint on Wild 'n Out, portrayed Bobby Shaw in My Wife and Kids, provided the voice of A Pimp Named Slickback in The Boondocks, Seamus in Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, and portrayed Lord Have Mercy in Norbit. In 2008, he voiced himself in the video game Grand Theft Auto IV. Not Kate...

[@benreadsbooks7165]

I swear to god rap critic thank you so much for this I haven't laughed this hard in weeks, months even

[@User-jp1sj]

His reaction to Afroman saying "he tried to fuck a queer" killed me

[@floko43]

You should do a video of your top 10 favorite rappers. You have amazing taste in music

[@D12Disease]

Even Afroman looks surprised by how terrible his christmas album is.

[@silvaskiproductions3937]

the afroman and Eazy-E parts had me dead

[@Chandasouk]

Player's Ball from Outkast was originally for a Christmas album, but that doesn't really count lol

[@Maloons]

Chandasouk It definitely counts. There's sleigh bells throughout the beat and a few direct Christmas references in Andre's verse.

[@slyvee]

Christmas songs never get old

[@averywoody1054]

"dont sit on tha roof, cough up roudoulph's nutz!!" LOLOLOLOLOLOL XD XD XD XD

[@shinonism]

Make a best christmas rap songs please! Also im glad St Bricks Intro wasnt on here I love that shit! BUrr

[@MostMorose]

2Braceletz Ikr

[@officialasa]

1:38 bro your description was the funniest shit ever

[@2-d_in_a_bag]

I cried from laughter!

[@sega64guy20]

I died at number 3 😂

[@aliciagreen5411]

sega64guy I'm not really a Christmas music fan so I thought it was awesome lol

[@User-jp1sj]

His reaction to Afroman saying "he tried to fuck a queer" was hilarious

[@bes03c]

This is the rap critic video that I laughed the hardest. This day shall further live in infamy.

[@TheHoagie13]

Hey RC. Here's something that NEEDS to be touched upon: "why the Hell was Reptar voiced by Busta Rhymes in Rugrats??" on the next Goin' Off Podcast :-D

[@MANJYOMETHUNDER111]

The energy in this video is just fantastic.

[@joshisonwheels]

If I don't see "A Christmas F*kin Miracle" by Run The Jewels on the best list, I'm gonna be slightly pissed

[@multitudeofidols]

I'll stick to Christmas rock songs, thank you. Nothing sets the mood for me more than Spinal Tap's "Christmas with the Devil".

[@teababe27]

I'll add "No Presents for Christmas" by King Diamond. And in memory of Greg Lake, "I Believe in Father Christmas." And that just makes me realize how many anti-Christmas songs i prefer.

[@nope1018]

I think "Police Blow My Wad" refers to the fact that the police get to confiscate all of your cash if they arrest you. However, it's still a hella esoteric way of describing that phenomenon.

[@kenyadasyriaquez2210]

He should do videos on Beefs, Review two diss tracks, for example Takeover and Ether, and go in depth on who he think won, pls like so he can see this.

[@dysperdotted]

how did you know...

[@georgeandrews1394]

About the chorus to the Ying-Yang twins song, well, 'Carol of the Bells' is a pretty menacing-sounding Christmas song to begin with. Maybe that's just me, though; my first memory of that song is from a Christmas special which used it to soundtrack a scene of a young teenager getting jumped and beaten in an alley. Merry Christmas, yes.

[@WiiMan25]

7:58 The reaction to Police Blow My Wad is priceless.

[@miami8614]

at my local hospital I could've sworn I saw one of the ying yang twins

[@GinaTonik]

I haven't laughed this hard in a long damn time. Thank you, Rap Critic.

[@Donnakilluminati]

The players ball is happenin' on Christmas Day

[@CaptainSkullDemon]

Your reaction to the final song on the countdown made me laugh. XD

[@extreme_ryan_delena]

Christmas Tales by D12 was actually pretty funny

[@theDENIMMAN]

the ying yang twins christmas album had better open with that "haaaaaa" thing

[@AndreJHicks]

Is Afro man still around?

[@crazyluigi6664]

Yes. Yes he is.

[@areviewsmovies8573]

Dgaf Srh because he got high?

[@patricklauer4452]

A Reviews Movies cuz he got hiiiiiiigh

[@wheatleythebrick2276]

Jrell zamasu Rose Hicks who??

[@Dreigonix]

I was headdesking throughout this entire list. >__

[@mr.x2567]

“Ya little Cartman!” XD

[@EIP210]

I think I enjoyed the frosty the snowman too much

[@HaterTaterLater]

Holy shit, listening to rappers trying to sustain a note gave me the best belly laughs I've had in a while.

[@loriisgorey]

Finally some songs to play at my xmas family gathering.

[@joedav67]

As a guy who’s currently enjoying crunk, I actually kinda like most of the Ying Yang Twins, probably the best crunk act, more so than Lil Jon. Though that Christmas song sounds awful

[@notadocmartin]

I am hoping for All I Want to Christmas is to Get it Crunk, which I first heard randomly in a coffee shop like 8 years ago and has been a Christmas staple around here ever since.

[@antheartt]

Cold like Minnesota Cold like Minnesota *Cold like Minnesota* *COLD LIKE MINNESOTA* *C O L D L I K E M I N N E S O T A*

[@starrgazer9]

"We bout to hit the nudie bar!" LMFAOOOO!!!!!

[@skibbdy6136]

Hope the new album will be available soon.

[@lightskindisgrace]

Atban Klann was good with there unreleased shit, but what the actual fuck was that Eazy E shit

[@Tomanna]

It was AIDS

[@maxanderson2925]

Free Nation Rebel Soldier please no AIDS jokes about eazy e

[@juno980]

What, you got triggered?

[@jayzeus1843]

Thanks ugly god

[@Yeezy4Prezzy]

Ace D I feel like I'm 21 savage

[@elidisco]

Omfg your face during the Afroman part 😂😂

[@NightmareLyra]

Sounds like a Death Metal growl to me in the chorus to that Ying Yang Twins song. Because nothing says death like Xmas and stripping...?

[@kingoftheworld5753]

can't wait to see this year's best rap songs episode.

[@riverscuomo7140]

Well for Jobe Bells, Jobe might be an extension of Job, which is short for Joseph, which is Afroman's real first name. I have no fucking clue on Police Blow My Wad tho lol

[@cti190]

You should talk about some dope xmas jams like "My Christmas Bells" by Hard Call Christmas or "Funky Fresh Christmas" by Busy Boys.